


Hidden Omega

by LadyPrussia



Category: B.A.P, Big Bang (Band), Block B, DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, EXO (Band), GOT7, Highlight | Beast (Band), Monsta X (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), VIXX, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alpha Jeon Jungkook, Alpha Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Alpha Min Yoongi | Suga, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beta Kim Seokjin | Jin, Beta Kim Taehyung | V, Bottom Kim Namjoon | RM, Each group is their own pack, Fluff and Smut, I promise that all the groups are alot less overwhelming than you think, Kim Namjoon | RM-centric, M/M, Namjoon needs more love, Omega Kim Namjoon | RM, Omega Park Jimin, Omega Verse, Polyamory, Slow Burn, which is both romantic and sexual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:25:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 95
Words: 363,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8610472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyPrussia/pseuds/LadyPrussia
Summary: At 21 Namjoon still hasn't presented leaving him as a dud, with the BTS pack having their own issues and not treating him like a real member a tragic event forces Namjoon's body to present as an omega. Is it really too late for BTS to win Namjoon's heart? Or will one of the 4 other packs steal it instead? Or maybe a darkhorse will appearORMy Omegverse story where 5 different kpop groups try to get omega Namjoon to join them, cause Namjoon needs more love... Please NamjoonAll groups mentions have a backstory, character development and are important. No group is tagged just for show, and if you don't know the groups don't worry! There is an in-depth description of everybody!This is a long story, every tagged group have their moment to shine and they are done as much justice as humanly possible





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> STOOOOOP!
> 
> If you are new to the story, please please read this.
> 
> The start is going to be hard, a lot of the chapter needs to be rewritten and they are amazing on the grammar, but I promise it gets better at length.
> 
> Also if you are here to yell at me for posting in your fandom's tag, I promise that every single group has a very important part to show in the story, and I get 'that's a lot of groups' yeah but this is also around 300k and only halfway done.
> 
> There are people who tag people who are only there once and doesn't even speak. I promise this makes sense, just give me a chance before you yell at me for tagging your group

Bts consisted of 7 guys, but more importantly Bts consisted of three alphas, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jungkook. 2 betas Jin and Taehyung. 1 omega Jimin. And then there were Bts’s leader Namjoon who at 22 had yet to mature into a sub gender, this lead him to be what was commonly known as a dud.

Dud’s were extremely rare less than 0.01% of the population were duds. With everybody normally maturing at the age of 18, being 22 and still not having a subgenre made Namjoon standout in more way than one, first was how he was missing a scent. Jimin liked to tell him how he smelled like death, most people tried not to stay to close to avoid the scent, or the lack of scent. Then there were the fact that it made people unsure of how to treat him, even if it was 2016 and all sub gender had the same rights, there were still the general idea that omegas needed more care, the genetic makeup got stimulated and calm by close physical contact.

Friends of omegas were always ready to give them a hug or a cuddle if they wanted or needed it. This of course didn’t mean that people expected omegas to be good little housewives, that stereotype had been destroyed years ago. Omegas could do what they wanted to be law, even if they were still fighting some stereotypes.

Alphas were respected as the face outward for many companies, with their more aggressive attitude, and tendency to never be afraid of how people saw them it made them perfect for being in the public spotlight. Alphas still fought the stigma that they were just mindless violent idiot, who were just idiot. Then there were betas, widely accepted as being the best leader, their more calm nature and calming effect made them good leaders, they weren’t distracted by smells the same way that the much more sensitive omegas and alphas.

Over all the 3 sub genders worked well together, most people living in what was seen as pack. Multiple alpha, betas and omegas, even if packs weren’t always sexual most were since pack were often found with people almost the same age, and when their children would end up joining other packs when they were old enough to leave home.

What no pack had was dud’s. Most pairs left them alone, not knowing how they would fit into a pack. Normally it was find, since dud’s never really matured the same way other did, they didn’t have this intense need to be in a pack the the rest had.

That was where the problem came from, while Namjoon was a part of the Bts pack and was the leader of said pack. But he never felt right there, the other members were so affectionate with each other, but most of them wouldn’t even stand in his personal space. Jimin would cover his nose like he smelled something bad, Yoongi would always say that he just felt wrong. He knew it shouldn't bother him, of course they didn’t want to be to close to him, he should be happy they let somebody as broken as him be here.

It bothered him tho, it felt like a heavy rock pulling him down. The thing was he had never in his life thought he would end out being dud, the one thing he had actually been afraid of ending out being was omega. He knew that he showed many omega qualities growing up, he prefered actually having physical contact with people, he could feel his mind calm when he had people around him. When he was feeling stressed when he was younger, hugs always made him feel better. The problem was he was scared of being an omega, while his parents had always been told him that it didn’t matter what his sub-gender were and his parent’s pack respected all sub gender no matter, it was really rap and hip hop that made him view it this way.

There were no prominent omega rappers at all, most of them were alphas and the one who weren’t were all beta’s. Bts themselves was a proof of that both Hoseok and Yoongi being rappers. The thought of being an omega would completely destroy his chances of being a rapper, those thoughts was constantly in his head, but as his 18th birthday came and went, and so did his 19th he slowly learned that the fate he had was much worse.

Being chosen to lead Bts meant so much more than he could possibly explain. When they first had been put together as a group only the hyung line minus Namjoon had presented, he was surprised when he first saw Yoongi that the older was an alpha, that was until Yoongi opened his mouth and then yeah it made sense he was an alpha. Hoseok was a different kind of alpha, he was not the classically more aggressive type. He was basically one big sun, but watch the way he walked and acted around people and there were no question that he was indeed an alpha. Jin was the poster child for a beta, calm and collected but smart and on point when he needed to be, sometimes Namjoon was convinced he should have been the leader instead of him.

As the rest of Bts matured so did they present, first was Jimin who ended up as an omega as all of them hoped and prayed for, they wanted to be a real pack and if either Jimin or Taehyung didn’t present as an omega they would struggle. It was already going to be rough with only one omega to balance the two, expectedly soon three alphas out. With Jimin being the first to present while being in Bts it also opened a new pack dynamics that Namjoon didn’t know what to do about. Heats and ruts officially started with an omega joining the packs.

Jimin’s heat kicked it off the day he presented, they all knew he had presented when they woke up on the morning of Jimin’s eighteenth birthday, the sweet smell of caramel was drifting all over the dorm, while the smell did nothing for Taehyung and Jungkook neither of them having presented or grown scent glands yet, making them more or less immune to the scent of omega heat. Not that it stopped Jungkook from being extremely interested in the newly presented omega.

The discussion then came up who would be taking care of Jimin during said heat, of course Namjoon was never asked if he wanted to do it since they all just assumed he didn’t want to and that he couldn’t care less. Cause yeah for some reason, they thought being dud meant he couldn’t smell just how fucking good Jimin smelt, which he was pretty sure it was suppose to mean. But god Jimin smelt so good, he wanted to wrap up Jimin in his arms and never let him go. While he didn’t want to fuck the living shit out of him like Hoseok, Yoongi and Jin, he just wanted to never let him go and make him feel good.

The whole thing ended with Jin helping him Jimin through it, he was the one who seemed the wwmost down to earth and calm about it. Namjoon was a little afraid that Hoseok was actually going to eat Jimin, judging by the way he was looking hungrily at the door keeping Jimin away from them.

That day was a defining one in Namjoon’s life, it was officially the day where he started feeling he wasn’t welcomed in the pack anymore. With Taehyung presenting as a beta pressure was put on the pack, Namjoon could remember Taehyung coming into his room before anybody else woke up almost a week after his eighteenth birthday, tears were running down his cheeks and his entire body was shaking. It only took Namjoon one sniff to know what was wrong, Taehyung was a beta.

They had all hoped he would be an omega, an omega would balance the pack out. Taehyung had probably felt pressured to becoming an omega, but no their sweet weird Taehyung was a beta. He almost threw himself into Namjoon’s arms crying “I tried! I tried so hard to be an omega, I thought if I acted like one I would become one!”

“It’s okay” He hugged the crying beta to his chest, burying his face in the youngers now lightly lavender scented hair, the younger smelled really good, “We all love you no matter what sub gender you are, you shouldn’t have tried to become something you are not, you know how bad that can fuck you up” He lightly scolded him.

They had all heard the horror stories of what happened to people trying to suppress their truth self, oh the irony of Namjoon telling this story, Taehyung nodded in Namjoon’s arms still sniffling “I don’t want Jimin to feel like all the pressure is on him, he is so scared of not being enough”

Of course Jimin was scared, not living with two probably three alphas and the fact they could and would fight over, but of not being enough for them, that was just the kind of person Jimin was, “We will be there to support him all of us, those aren’t just alphas they are our alphas. We are all going to help Jimin, no matter what sub-gender we are all there for each other. Now do you want to cuddle before the rest wakes up? It is way too early to be awake.” Namjoon was already moving to get into cuddle position, Taehyung normally never turned down a good cuddle.

“No thank hyung,” he dried the tears still present on in his eyes, “sorry, but Jimin is right, you smell weird” oh.

Namjoon felt it like a punch to the guts, Taehyung had been the only one who still cuddled with him, Jungkook avoiding it to prove he was ‘mature’ and now Taehyung didn’t even want to. Was this the end? Was this the last person finally realising he wasn’t worth it? He just nodded, and tried to send Taehyung a smile trying to act like he was okay.

The pack needed to do some adjustments after Taehyung presented, but they worked it out. They were all happy, other than Namjoon and Jungkook, even tho it was for two very different reasons. The rest of the pack refused to let Jungkook into their big shared bedroom when they were doing ‘pack activities’ objectively speaking it was fair, they hadn’t allowed any of the maknaes in their before they had presented, but now that Jungkook was the only one not allowed in their he felt it was unfair, which he did voice his opinion to many times “It just isn’t fair! I am stuck out here with Namjoon-hyung! I wanna have fun as well!”

Namjoon wanted to say that he could be fun as well, that he wasn’t just some empty space, but he didn’t cause Jungkook was right, why should he be forced to spend time with Namjoon, they other people didn’t want to so why did the maknae have to. Namjoon knew better than to voice his opinion on pack matters, while everybody listened to him when it was about anything else, nobody ever listened to him on pack matters, even if he were technically the leader.

It felt as in the longer time they were a pack, the more everybody seemed to forget about Namjoon when they weren’t working. As soon as they were back at the dorms they all seemed to avoid him, and with Jungkook’s eighteenth coming closer and closer it felt like big ball was tightening in his stomach. He felt like joy was slowly being forced out of him, every time he sad down to write it all ended up being depressing. He felt like his own pack didn’t want him.

The worst part of it was that he knew that he wasn’t suppose to care, he read about other duds they always said that it was like being almost emotionless, they talked about how they didn’t really care about people treating them different, how they didn’t want a pack. How they prefered people didn’t touch them. How they couldn’t smell other people's smells. God he was such a failure that he couldn’t even be a dud right! He cared so much about his pack and how people saw him, he had so many emotions burned inside him that he didn’t know how to let out. The idea that he would no longer be welcomed in the pack terrified him, the idea of no longer being in pack felt like he was ripping a part of his soul out.

Worse was the thought of people not touching him anymore, how could anybody not want to be touched, even Yoongi had days where he prefered people didn’t touch him. Namjoon thought it was insane, he couldn’t go without people touching him, it cleared his mind, touching and cuddles was like the bee’s buzzing in his brain finally let him think.

And lastly the smells, how could dud’s not smell people. Namjoon could smell them so clearly, Jin’s calming rose sense was everywhere in the kitchen marking the territory as his. Jimin and Hoseok caramel and honey scent was dominating the dance practice room, weaving together perfectly, calming Namjoon down when he felt the pressure of learning all the new dance moves. It made him feel like it was all going to be okay.

Yoongi’s smell was without a doubt the one he knew the best, the older alpha’s strong cinnamon scent was everywhere in the studio where they worked, Yoongi was the alpha who released the most scent without a doubt, he seemed like he enjoyed having everybody and everything soaked in it. Namjoon had even caught him sending up Hoseok, which was something very rare, since alphas normally didn’t like having other alphas near their scent gland.

It was the reason they worked so well as a pack tho, nobody cared to much about sub gender(other than of course Namjoon's), everybody no matter the sub gender were always happy to indulge Yoongi’s possessive side. Since Taehyung had presented he had actually taken to pushing his scent gland as close to Yoongi as he could, trying to get the older male to scent him. Even Jungkook got scented but the alpha, Yoongi complaining that Jungkook needed to smell like he belonged. That was another strike to Namjoon self confidence, was he not suppose to smell like he was part of the pack? He was part of the pack right?

Namjoon was terrified of Jungkook’s eighteenth birthday, Jungkook was the last person who spent any real time with him anymore, since he wasn’t disgusted by his smell. The more success Bts got you would think Namjoon would be happy, but the more success they got the more the rest of his pack pulled away from him, the more the hate online got to him. They would say he wasn’t fit to lead Bts, since he was just a dud. At fan meets a rule got put in place that no fan was allowed to get to close to Namjoon, it was suppose to be so they didn’t smell him, but Namjoon felt like they were singling him out. Before this fans didn’t seem to care that about his dud smell, even if he had less fans than the rest of the guys he got comfort from the fans giving him a hug or attention, he so little of both lately.

And then the day came, the day Jungkook presented they had just finished up practice when a harsh smell of peppermint assaulted Namjoon’s senses, the maknaes natural peppermint scent mixed with the hormones from his rut was probably the best thing he had ever smelt. He could almost feel the saliva gathering in his mouth, he wanted to jump the younger! It was stupid! He knew that ruts weren’t suppose to affect him! His scent glands weren’t suppose to be working!

The whole room almost froze when the smell washed over him, Jungkook looked confused and then he kinda zoned in on Jimin his stare becoming almost predatory. Namjoon had this instinctive feeling to present himself to the new alpha. Jimin looked to be in even worse shape, Jin had grabbed him around the middle, the omega was clawing at Jin’s arms trying to get to Jungkook. The desperation in the omega’s eyes echoed the feeling in Namjoon’s chest. He knew he couldn’t act on it like Jimin was doing. Even if all he wanted to do was get to the new alpha he needed to control himself, it was expected of him. He wasn’t a real member of the pack, he wasn’t deserving of the new alpha.

He had never been this close to an alpha in heat both Yoongi and Hoseok knew when they ruts were coming and kept away from Namjoon preferring to retreat to the big pack bedroom kicking out none presented and Namjoon. He could now see why Jimin always looked forward to ruts.

As Jimin’s struggling hit him in the leg with a kick he was forced back into reality and out of fantasy of fucking the youngest alpha, he was forced to look at what was going on. Yoongi and Hoseok was pulling Jungkook back, and the two beta’s was holding onto Jimin, Hoseok half yelled at Jungkook “No! You are not going to spend your first rut with Jimin. You are going to rip him apart! Is that what you want?! To hurt him!?”

Jungkook stopped struggling and just froze in place, his eyes big and almost scared, it was forced into everybody's head at a very young age that you didn’t hurt omegas, omegas were treasures every pack was happy to have, “No he just smells so good!”

“Jin take Taehyung and Jimin out, we take Jungkook home and help him through it.” Yoongi tone left no tone for debating. That didn’t stop Jin tho always the mother in trying to object.

“Having two alphas bringing a new alpha through rut, Yoongi are you sure this is a good idea, at least I can join…”

He never got to finish the sentence before Yoongi cut him off “No! We do this as planned, you can all get your piece of him when the rut is over, you know this is the best idea Jin.” The stare down between the two oldest pack members were intense, before Jin broke it.

“Okay you get it your way then, if any of you get harmed by doing this I am going to kill you Yoongi,” Jin was still fighting to hold back Jimin that were clawing to get to Jungkook, his pupils blown and a very clear tent in his pants.

All the smells were too much for Namjoon to handle, he buried his nails in his palm almost drawing blood. Jimin was pumping out waves after waves of lovely caramel, trying to show that he was ready for an alpha, “Just trust us Jin.” With that he dragged Jungkook, who were still looking at Jimin like he wanted to devour him, out the door.

The removal of the alpha in rut coursed Jimin to release a little whine, “It’s okay Jimin, but you know what the rule was. First time we are going to all be together everybody has to be in a sane mind.” Taehyung hugged the still whining Jimin close to his chest, while the shorter just nodded “let’s get ice cream, right Jin-hyung?”

“Yeah” A fond smile was on Jin face as he escorted the two younger out of the practice room. And with that two things became very clear for him, one they forgot about him again and he should probably just get used to it. And secondly, he no no longer counted as part of all of them anymore.

He could feel how tears were gathering in the corners of his eyes, and all he really wanted was to get a hug, but he knew that was no longer an option, he wasn’t worth it anymore.


	2. Jungkook also known as the worst alpha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to get this chapter out Thursday, but I am currently studying my masters... and this week has been kicking my ass.

While yes Namjoon was more or less getting iced out of the pack, he had one thing going for him. He still had his spot in the pack bedroom, or nest whatever you liked to call it. While yes, nobody wanted to lie close to him, and yes he which he could part of the massive puppy pile that was the Bts sleeping habits, he was just happy that he at least got to sleep close to them. Sleeping close to all their mixed scents helped calming him, even if he wasn’t as close as he wanted to.

The three alphas somehow managed to survive his 72 hours rut and the rest managed to keep Jimin away from the bedroom. Namjoon had to admit he did something he wasn’t proud of, as the rest of their group was out doing whatever happy pack activities they had chosen not to include him in today, he went into the pack nest, they had not gotten around to change the sheet’s and other shit since the rut first stopped a few hours ago. Namjoon ended up burying his face in the pillow still smelling strongly of Jungkook’s potent peppermint smell mixed with rut.

As the calming and potent scent of pack ran over him, he finally felt home again. Namjoon could almost cry with how happy he was, he had felt so stress lately and he couldn’t get it out of him, but this helped. This finally calmed him down.

That was when Namjoon developed a system, while yes he never got scented by the other member of the pack, and they never hugged him or cuddled him anymore, this was a good middle ground. He would steal some of their sleep shirts. With how much they cuddled up next to each other while sleeping, Jin’s shirt that he had stolen smelt so amazing like all of them.

He always had to wash them after, making sure that his smell wasn’t stuck on the cloth, but it was worth it. With all the voices constantly screaming in his mind, the scent of his pack all around him finally made them shut up. That was how he felt that he could go on, the nest smelt like them and the cloth his stole made it bearable, he could do this.

Nothing ever worked out how Namjoon wanted it to, when he finally got comfortable with his position, or none position in the pack misfortune struck again. This time that misfortune came in the form of Yoongi sitting him down a friday 3 weeks after Jungkook presentation, first Namjoon just thought it was about a song or anything like that. It was normally the only reason that Yoongi sought him out was for music, luckily he was still useful for that.

“Namjoon we need to have a chat” He could feel the panic starting in his chest, spreading around his body forcing him freeze in the position… No… they couldn’t kick him! He… Belonged here! Right?

Yoongi seemed to take Namjoon’s none answer as an offer to take the space next to him, even if he did sit as far away from Namjoon as possible on the small couch, “This is about the nest, you know after Jungkook presented we have found out that he is very sensetive to smell and he is struggling to sleep right when you are their. It’s not fair to him that he has to struggle like that, the rest of us can ignore it, but it is messing up his sleep schedule. So we agreed that it would be much more fair if you slept in one of the other bedrooms.” The way he phrased it made one thing very clear, this was not a suggestion.

It was like the world around him stopped for a few seconds, he was being kicked out of the nest? No… He needed to be there! It kept the nightmares and thought away, it kept the voices away, “Yoongi that isn’t fair!” He protested.

The mint haired male just looked unimpressed at him “we both know this is for the best, we can all sleep better when your scent isn’t there, and it not like you care anyway.”

The idea that they all wanted him out of their nest, their safespace was more hurtful than Namjoon could ever explain, he never hurt of anybody getting kicked out of the nest they were part of. Danm people many times let even non pack members sleep in the nest, he knew that Jongin still slept in the nest with the rest of the Exo pack even if the SHINee pack had claimed him long before exo was even formed. People didn’t just get kicked out of nests! “You all want me out of there?” It was so hard for him to make sure his voice didn’t shake.

Yoongi just nodded looking slightly uninterested in the conversion, like he was just telling Namjoon about some unimportant fact, not an life altering change “You know it for the best, maybe Jimin can stop sleeping with his face buried so far into Jin’s chest that he almost can’t breath.”

Was he really that much of an issue? Had he really coursed this much trouble for his pack. Yoongi was right, it was better that he just moved himself out of the nest. It might be troubling for him, but he didn’t want his pack members to feel bad, he was the leader he had to take care of them “I will remove my things,” had Yoongi really listened to the younger blond he would have noticed how Namjoon’s voice was completely devoid from any emotion, like he was locking them all inside.

“Don’t worry about it, we already moved all your stuff, if you go in there now we will have to clean all the stuff out to get rid of your scent, doing it once was enough, nobody feels like doing it twice.” It was so easy for them to just remove him, didn’t they even think about what it did to him?

Namjoon just nodded, he tried his best to act like none of this got to him, it shouldn’t have gotten to him! He was just a dud! He didn’t matter… That night he slept in the guest room, a room that was meant for guests. That was what he had become wasn’t it? He was just a guest in his own pack.

The guestroom smelled like nothing at all, nobody had ever used it. If they had guests who slept over it was always people they trusted, and these people they just had sleep in the nest. He was being shoved in a room that were never even meant to be used. He curled his body around Jimin’s tank top that he had stolen earlier. It was the one he used for dancing, and it had almost been wet with sweat when Namjoon had stolen it earlier. It should have been disgusting, but the younger omega’s smell calmed him down, it slowly stopped the heavy sobs that had been dominating his body.

He was still part of the pack! He had to remember this, just cause they had removed him from the nest didn’t meant they had kicked him out of the pack! He just had to work hard on being useful! He just had to make sure that they still needed him! 

So that was what he did, he pushed his everything into his work as leader of Bts, he stayed up late work on lyrics and practice his raps, he went over their schedule many more times than needed to make sure everything was perfect.

It seemed to work for a while, with how much he was working he had much less time to focus on how he felt like he was dying on the inside. When he was completely exhausted from working all day, unable to keep his eyes open it was like the voices were on a manageable level. Take that plus the cloth that he kept stealing to sleep with their scent around and it all started to work for him, he could do this!

It all more or less collapsed around him in a 3 short days, he had stolen one of Jungkook’s shirts. He hadn’t really noticed that it was Jungkook’s favorite, he had been so tired that he had really just grabbed whatever he could get his hands on. That was his first mistake, his next mistake was not locking the door. This two mistakes lead to Jungkook barging into his room late that evening with a “Hyung have you see my good shirt? I left it in the bathroom, but I can’t find it now”

This meant that Jungkook found Namjoon snuggled with his shirt in his bed, already half asleep from the tiring schedule all the extra work he had taken on. Jungkook had been slightly emotionally unstable after his presentation, his hormones had been struggling to fall into space. This left him with a very very short fuse, and Namjoon had been taking to brunt of that anger lately.

This hormonal imbalance was what caused Jungkook to just flip his shit at the sight of their leader cuddling with his shirt “What the fuck are you doing!”

His loud yell woke up Namjoon, coursing him to sit up him still not really awake rubbing his eyes “What is going on?” he asked sleepily

“You stole my shirt you bitch!” Oh… OH FUCK! That was when Namjoon noticed that he did indeed have the younger's shirt in his arms.

“I can explain!” He protested, the scent of angry alpha blended with Jungkook’s strong aggressive peppermint was dominating in the air, it made Namjoon almost cower in his bed.

“Fuck if you can explain! Why are my shirt in here! Tell me the truth!” Jungkook voice was layered with a growl and an undertone he couldn’t explain, until he felt the words build up inside him, how it felt like his entire body was fighting him. He didn’t want to tell Jungkook the full embarrassing truth! He didn’t want to, but it was like his body was forcing him.

He covered his mouth with shaking hands desperately trying to hold in the words, no he couldn’t! He shouldn’t tell the truth! But he couldn’t stop himself! Jungkook was staring him down, keeping eyecontrol never letting Namjoon lookaway from him.

Namjoon had to tell the truth to Jungkook, he had to tell the truth to his alpha, it didn’t matter if he wanted to or not! “NOW!” Jungkook ordered again with that weird undertone in his voice. He couldn’t focus anymore, he felt like he was in a trance nothing else existed that the order he had been given. He had to tell the truth.

Luckily he got ripped out of trance as a loud slap was heard in the room and Jungkook broke the eye contact his face being forced to the side by the harsh smacked delivered across his face

“JEON JUNGKOOK WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?” Namjoon had never heard Jin yell like that before, or yell at all. The beta was normally one of the most level headed persons he knew.

Now he was completely red in the face with anger, and Namjoon didn’t understand why. Had hadn’t yet been able to shake the weird trance that had been put over him, his mind was weirdly numb, why was Jin hitting Namjoon’s alpha, he had just asked Namjoon a question that he had to answer.

“How dare you abuse your power like that!” Jin’s voice was almost reaching an octave thought to be impossible for any male to hit.

The youngest refused to meet Jin’s stare look away with discontent, anger still clear in his mind as he answered “I just wanted answers, it’s not my fault! He had my shirt!”

“I don’t care if he killed your long lost brother! YOU DO NOT GIVE ALPHA ORDERS! HOW DARE YOU!” Oh, that made sense didn’t it, the weird blanket over his mind. His mind still telling him that he needed to tell the truth, it was alpha orders.

Alpha orders were highly looked down on, and you could even go to jail for it sometimes. It was seen as weak if an alpha needed to use orders to get his way, back in the days it was alphas strongest weapon against other sub genders. It did require full eye contact, and sometimes people could fight it if the order was very in contrast to their nature, but most times omegas who were the most affected by them would fall to the command even by a weak alpha.

Even betas could fall to a command if the alpha was strong enough, Namjoon had no idea what it did to a dud like him. But how he had easily fallen to a new alpha, it did feel like he was just a vunerable to the command as any omega would be. The problem was that he still couldn’t shake it, he still couldn’t stop the word vomit that was trying to force its way out his mouth.

The need wasn’t as intense as when Jungkook was staring him down, but it was still like a blanket over his mind, he needed to tell the truth. He couldn’t focus on conversation, he couldn’t focus on anything, he needed to keep the word vomit inside of him. Suddenly he felt a weight on his lap, and two smaller hands grabbed him around the face forcing him to meet a pair of dark brown eyes “Joonie you need to focus on your breathing, you are hyper ventilating, follow my breathing please.”

Was he? He hadn’t even noticed, why was it so hard to focus. First then did he realise that it was Jimin who had placed himself in his lap, he had to focus on Jimin’s breathing he knew this, everything else was background noise. Jimin was safe, Jimin… sweet omega Jimin with his caramel scent and small hands was safe. Slowly he matched Jimin’s breathing, their eyes never leaving each other as they stared at each other forehead against forehead.

“Good Joonie,” that was good, he was good. Jimin said he was good… Jimin would never lie! “Keep focusing on my breath, I know it is hard right now, but you can’t fall under, you know you can’t fall under”

Namjoon wasn’t sure how long time they sat like this, the rest of the world lost for them as he tried to figure out how to breath like a proper person. It was like he was drowning and Jimin was his only thing keeping him afloat, sweet amazing Jimin.

Jimin had placed Namjoon’s hand over his heart, allowing Namjoon’s own heart to latch onto the rhythm of its beating, suddenly it was like the rest of the world popping back into existence. wIt was like when you had been out swimming and had water in yours ears , when it finally popped and all the sound came back to you, that was how it felt.

“IT'S NOT MY FAULT! HE IS DUD! HOW SHOULD I KNOW THAT IT WOULD AFFECT HIM!?” his nose got assaulted by scent’s as well now, Jungkook’s angry alpha and peppermint was overruled by Jin’s normally calm rose scent. It wasn’t calm in more it was aggressive and was almost attacking Jungkook’s forcing him to retreat.

Jungkook looked scary if you asked Namjoon, but then again he might be slightly biased. He no longer felt the need to spill all his secrets to Jungkook but the young alpha still scared him, more than he wanted to admit, “WHAT ABOUT YOU JUST DON’T GIVE PEOPLE ALPHA ORDERS! YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING CHILD!”

For the first time ever Namjoon was a little terrified of Jin, normally he was… like a mother, but like this, broad shoulder tense, scent aggressive and rolling of him, he looked more like an alpha than ever. And right now Namjoon really didn’t feel comfortable around alphas, or their scents. He felt assaulted by their scents, and he could feel it building up in his chest, a panic attack, his hands were shaking were they were grabbing Jimin’s shoulders. 

Normally the scent of his pack helped him when he felt like panic attacks, but now they were the course of them, he felt like he couldn’t breath every time more of the smell got stuck in his nose, he was grabbed roughly by the hair and head forced right onto the scent gland of Jimin, “Jin just fucking take him somewhere else! You are both stressing him out, and personally I would like to still have a leader after this” that didn’t come from either Jimin or Namjoon, it came from a voice behind him and then he was getting forced into a strong hug from behind and a much more calming scent of honey washed over him and blended with Jimin’s caramel like they were always meant to.

“Language” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from mumbling even if was half getting suffocated in Jimin’s neck.

He didn’t know if Jin and Jungkook actually left the room, he was so consumed by the scent of the two dancers that he couldn’t focus on anything else. Instead he felt how the panic attack started to fade, “Better now?” Jimin asked in calming voice

“Yeah” he nodded, and the second he made them know he was okay they released him and put as much distance between them as possible

“We sorry Namjoon, alpha orders… Jungkook’s issues like this, its pack dynamics… you should get caught up in it, we are sorry.” Pack issues? god they didn’t even really see him as part of the pack did they? He was just kinda there.

“It’s okay guys, I just need… some time, this was a little overwhelming” the truth was that it was to be honest all too much, not just overwhelming.

Hoseok smiled that giant sunshine smile of his “It’s fine, so shower Jimin?” he grinned at the omega already half dragging him towards the bathroom clear intent of getting Namjoon’s scent of him as fast as possible. He didn’t want to do this, he had told himself he didn’t need it, that he could do without! But he knew that it wasn’t true anymore, everything was simply just to much now, he didn’t have a choice.

He grabbed blindly at his phone, quickly speed dialing his first contact, his breath was almost stuck in his throat as it called, he didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t pick up. Luckily he didn’t have to think about, cause only two rings and the phone was picked up with a cheery

“Sup Namjoon?”

“I need it, I… I can’t anymore.” Silence was deafening, he was almost afraid he would be turned down a for a second.

“I am going to kill them, come over to our dorms we have no schedule tomorrow so you are staying, if you have a schedule make something up I don’t even care.”

“Okay, I will be there in an hour.”

“You better fucking be, or Bts will be down 6 fucking members.” And then he hung up.

Namjoon’s hands were shaking as he stared down at them holding his phone in his lap, Hoseok and Jimin would be sharing a shower, the rest would be in the nest. Nobody would care if he went missing for a day. He wrote a quick note stating he would be gone for a day’s time and stuck it to the fridge before grabbing his overnight back and leaving the Bts dorm behind. He knew where he was going, it was going to be okay.

It only took him 40 minutes to get there, being more eager than he would like to admit. He only managed to knock once before the door was almost violently knocked over and Namjoon got pulled into a hard hug that he reciprocated, “Please tell me I can kill them? I promise nobody will find out its me!”

  
“I don’t think that would be a good idea” he moved away from the hug and smiled at the blond alpha in front of him. In front of him was no other than Jackson Wang, in all his shirtless blond glory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kinda a boring chapter! But I need to build out the world!
> 
> You guys how no idea just how many notes and shit I have for this story, I have the entire background for the BigBang pack written down... and I'm not even sure they are going to be in this story... also! I have been amazed with the amazing feedback on this story! I hope you guys will keep liking it!
> 
> The rest of Got7 coming up soon, plus their drama as well!


	3. Cuddle Puddles with Got7!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one weekend! I am on a roll!

The thing about Jackson was that he never really developed the ability to smell scents, he even confessed to Namjoon that it made him embarrassed sometimes, seeing how the rest of the got7 alphas was all over BamBam and Mark at the slightest hint of heat, but Jackson was left to wait for somebody to tell him about it, or for BamBam to physically drag him to their nest whining that if Jackson didn’t do his fucking job, the younger omega was going to flip his shit. **  
**

Even with all the negative points to Jackson’s almost missing sense of scent, it allowed Jackson to not give a flying fuck about Namjoon’s less than desirable scent. Namjoon was dragged into another almost rough hug before he even had time to say anything more to him. Jackson wasn’t always completely aware of his own strength, being strong even for an alpha, which did mean that he was more or less squishing the living shit out of Namjoon.

Namjoon was overwhelmed by Jackson’s calming scent of herbal tea, but then again he really needed to breath in air and not excessive amount of herbal tea scent “Jackson please” he whined almost out of breath “You are killing me.”

“Sorry” it came with a giant grin, but he did let Namjoon go, not that he really let Namjoon catch his breath before grabbing his arm, and his bag. Then preceding to drag Namjoon through to dorm towards the nest located in the back of it. The younger bts leader managed to catch a glint of BamBam sitting happily on top of Yugyeom’s lap who was blushing with how the omega was unashamed licking at his scent gland. BamBam was the kind of omega who wwas proud of being an omega, and he gladly took up all the affection anybody was willing to give him and when he didn’t think he got enough, he would take it himself.

Yugyeom was… very different from that, Namjoon could still remember the night that Jackson called him, half screaming in excitement about how their little maknae was an alpha. Namjoon had tiredly asked Jackson if they were talking about the same person, because Yugyeom were many things small was not one of them. Jackson just went on like Namjoon hadn’t said anything, and Namjoon knew better than to try and stop him when he first when on a rant about something.

It was much better to let Jackson just exhaust whatever topic he picked to ran about that day, it was kinda adorable the way Jackson still saw the youngest alpha as this small little puppy, even if was a giant and now even an alpha. Sub genders didn’t really matter for Jackson it seemed like, Jackson had two categories of people ‘Mine’ and ‘Soon mine’. He cared and took care of all the people in his pack no matter what their ranking were, for worse or better. Namjoon somehow had managed to fall into the group of ‘Mine’ and no matter how much he told Jackson that he belonged to Bts, Jackson either didn’t get it or just refused to accept it.

Namjoon himself might also be the cause of this, the more his own pack tried to push him away, the more he almost clung to Jackson and the way he and the rest of got7 always seemed happy to give him the affection that he so desperately needed. They saw him as Namjoon the slightly destructive leader of Bts, instead of The dud that happened to lead Bts. While they sometimes kind hearted joked about Namjoon’s scent, they never made him feel like he was less because of that scent.

Namjoon was almost manhandled unto the shared pack bed, first time Jackson has done that Namjoon had loudly protested, not wanting to get his smell all over the bed, but Mark had caused tackled him, and started tickling him until he apologised for saying shit like that about himself, yeah Namjoon was happy that he knew these people.

When Jackson had finally managed to place Namjoon how he liked, he spooned up behind Namjoon entwining their legs and making sure that every part of their bodies touched, “Jackson have you thought of maybe you know… putting on a shirt?” the youngest protested, even tho he did enjoy the the warmth he could feel from Jackson’s bare chest against his back.

“Shirts are for losers,” Jackson just laughed burying his head in Namjoon’s hair, releasing a content sigh “also, I look good without a shirt, just ask the internet! Or anybody else.”

“Good to know that your confidence is still perfect,” he couldn’t keep himself from lightly giggling “also I think that the internet might be slightly biased, and your pack even more.”

“PACK! I FORGOT! MARK IS GOING TO KILL ME!” Why did Jackson have to yell when his mouth was right next to Namjoon’s ear.

He winched in pain, covering his ear with his hand “Please tell me you didn’t forget that it was your turn to court Mark, I will actually slap you if you did that. And then pack Mark up with a little bow before delivering him to Suho.” Namjoon wasn’t kidding and he knew that Jackson knew that.

Jackson got up from the bed, causing Namjoon to let out a little whine he didn’t bother keep in, he knew Jackson didn’t care that he didn’t act like a dud should “I thought you were on our team here!”

“I am on team Mark, also known as you better fuck respect his decision and take this serious!” he grumbled not happy about being denied cuddles, Jackson was looking for something in what looks to be Mark’s part of their giant shared closet.

“I know! I am taking it serious, but yeah we need to talk about that as well. Just need to find.. Ah there it is!” He pulled out what looked to be a giant… plushie? “Mark was sorry that he couldn’t be here, he couldn’t cancel on Yixing and Kyungsoo” He sounded slightly annoyed just mentioning the Exo members.

Namjoon wanted to answer but before he had the chance the giant stuffed bear was thrown in his head, and the giant meant the same size as Namjoon who definitely weren’t short, the bear smelt almost overwhelmingly of Mark’s trademark vanilla scent. Namjoon always lowkey thought Mark had the best scent in got7, it wasn’t as unique as Jackson's herbal tea, or as trademark omega light BamBam’s strawberries, but it always made Namjoon feel calm the second he smelt it. It wasn’t dull vanilla like vanilla powder, it was fresh vanilla like the vanilla bean had just been cracked open.

“Jackson!” Namjoon yelped out in panic, as he hurried to push the bear off of him “I am going to get my scent all over it!”

“Well duh!” He assaulted Namjoon with the bear again “That is the point! Mark said since he couldn’t be here this would be his stand in, and this bear doesn’t leave anybody for shitty Exo packs! It’s a win win!”

He manhandled Namjoon back into position before spooning back up with him, the younger couldn’t deny that the plushie made him feel better and more calm that he had in days, maybe even weeks, “you seem like you aren’t okay with this as you pretend to be” Namjoon mumbled face buried in the Mark smelling bear.

That caused Jackson to sigh and pull Namjoon almost impossibly closer to him, “It’s not like I have a choice is it? I can’t say no to it, I can just say that they can’t court him or that he can’t accept it.”

Namjoon really felt sorry for Jackson and the rest of his pack, but he also knew that they had gotten themselves into this mess. The entire problem was that Mark, even if he was the oldest hadn’t joined to pack, and had straight out said and he didn’t have a plan too for now. It sounded cruel, but it made sense, while yes it was common for people to join the pack that they were group member of it wasn’t required. Jongin from Exo had joined the SHINee pack long before Exo was even a thing, Super Junior had two different packs, and Jessica from snsd had unexpectedly joined the 2ne1 pack instead. And a lot of rumors had been flying around that BigBang’s resident omega had been courted by up to 4 packs.

The entire problem was rotted in which kind of alpha Jaebum and Jackson were, overprotective and touchy feely. It worked very well with omega’s like BamBam who soaked up the attention like a sponge. Mark wasn’t that kind of omega tho, he needed time for himself and needed to feel like he wasn’t the omega. It wasn’t that Mark was ashamed of being an omega, he loved being an omega he always made that clear.

Mark had said from the start he needed space, but the two oldest alpha’s didn’t quite seem to understand what space meant. Jackson was by nature very affectionate person and with his missing scent smell, he always felt he had to be in physical contact with people to understand what was going on. He didn’t understand that there could be such a thing as too much cuddles, or personal space.

Jaebum wasn’t much better, the pack alpha was mildly to say over protective of everything that he had deemed worthy. Even Namjoon had felt that, when Jackson had accidentally taken a joke too far and hurt Namjoon’s feelings, pair that with a very traditional upbringing and he was the ‘perfect’ alpha. BamBam always raved about how Jaebum would hold doors for him, and always asking him if he was okay, always making sure no alphas were too close to him. BamBam loved it, sadly Mark wasn’t like that. He saw it like Jaebum didn’t trust him in protecting himself from other alphas, that he was incapable of doing stuff.

It first Namjoon had observed it all and thought it would slot back in place, but every time Mark spoke up about it something changed for a week before things were back to it again. It had taken for Mark to come home, smelling like Rosemary and Sandalwood for got7 to realise just how serious this was. Mark had straight up told them that he was being courted by Exo, and nothing they could say could get him to turn down that offer for courtship, they didn’t owe him and he needed to see if Exo was a better fit for his pack.

Exo tho… were a completely other beast to handle. Namjoon had friends in the pack, not as close as the friends he had in got7, but still friends. They pack had had a devastating year for the pack. With 5 alphas, 3 betas and 3 omegas even at the start the pack was struggling, but they had worked it out. Namjoon had always loved seeing how the Exo pack worked, but then they lost Yifan first and Namjoon knew shit was going to hit the fan. The loss of an alpha was not the worst thing that could have happened, the issue was what followed. They all saw it coming, Namjoon included, Tao left only 2 weeks later, chasing Yifan back to China unable to let go of what he saw as HIS alpha.

That had left them with 4 alphas, 3 betas and 2 omegas. But then loss striked again and this time nobody had expected it. Lu Han had left for China as well, Lu Han had been the oldest omega of the group, especially close with both Sehun and and oldest alpha Minseok. To this day Namjoon had no idea what had happened to course him to run back to China, but he knew for a fact it wasn’t the excuse that SM had put out. Something had happened, and the fact that Sehun was still in Korea and not chasing Luhan down with Minseok made Namjoon a little bit worried for them.

Now Exo was left with 4 alphas, 3 betas and 1 omega. 4 alphas and 1 omega wasn’t unheard of, BigBang was the same, but add in 3 betas and the power dynamic was off.

Namjoon had to focus back on the world a little lost in his own mind, with Mark and Jackson's scent all around him it was easier for him to relax and feel calm, luckily Jackson didn’t seem to have noticed how Namjoon wasn’t listening, he had more or less just been mumbling complains into Namjoon’s hair, “Namjoon?”

“Yeah?” Namjoon felt sleepy, it had been long time since the voices had shut up this long, and maybe just maybe tonight would be the night that he would get some real sleep.

Jackson was running his hands lightly under his shirt feeling around his ribs “Can we talk about how much weight you lost? I am worried about you again.”

Namjoon flinched as he pushed Jackson hands away, and pulled down his shirt “It isn’t like that, I’m better now! It’s just… I have to be better, and I’m not like the other guys so I just… You know… I’m better now I promise.”

“Joonie, you are throwing up again aren’t you?” Namjoon could feel how the tears were starting to form in his eyes, he knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew it… But he needed to be better, the voices said so, the internet said so.

He nodded unable to answer him with words, he couldn’t lie to Jackson, “God I am going to kill those fuckers, and then I am going to kill the internet.” Jackson was almost growling at this point, clearly done with everybody's shit “And don’t even fuckign argue with me that it isn’t their fault! You guys are suppose to be a back! You are suppose to help each other! They aren’t suppose to push into something like this”

“It’s not their fault” Namjoon whispered, tears streaming down his face and being soaked op by the bear “It’s my fault, I just… I need to be better, that is the problem… Everything will be good if I am just better.” He needed Jackson to understand this, they weren’t bad guys it was Namjoon’s own fault.

Jackson hugged Namjoon tight to his chest, his hands once again finding his way under Namjoon shirt slowly following the outline of Namjoon ribs “You are already perfect Joonie, I know you can’t see it right now, and I know that the voices says something different. But you are perfect the way you are, and while I might not know how right now, I am going to figure out how to make you see it.” He nuzzled his face into Namjoon’s scent gland.

Namjoon didn’t answer, he didn’t know how to. Jackson was wrong, oh he was so wrong but he also couldn’t be argued with and it felt so good to be held like this. He couldn’t explain what it was, he couldn’t explain why a stupid dud like himself got calmed by being held by an alpha while calming omega scent made him feel grounded. It was all too much for him. So Namjoon just let to tears flow down his face as he let himself be held, while Jackson mumbled things that into his scent gland.

At some point he couldn’t cry anymore, it was like the tears had finally dried up and he felt much lighter, he hugged the stuffie wishing it was Mark instead, he had no idea how long time they lied like that, but a soft knock was heard on the door and a smiling BamBam stood in the doorframe “2 hours! That is all I promised! Now Jackson get out of here! I want me Namjoon cuddles as well and to be frank, you suck nobody likes to cuddle with a guy who has the same density as a rock.”

“Brat, you love to cuddle with me.” Jackson mumbled but he faithfully let go of Namjoon with a groan “I was so close to sleeping as well, is Mark home yet?”

“He called he is sleeping at Exo’s place, said he would be back in the morning” all cheeriness in the younger omega’s voice was gone with that message. Namjoon rubbed his eyes, he had been close to sleep as well.

“At Least Yugyeom likes to cuddle with me,” Jackson grumbled as he grabbed the nearest shirt, which Namjoon was pretty sure was not even his and left the room.

BamBam yelled after him “Jaebum dragged him to the gym! Yugyeom is close to his rut so they might actually just be angry fucking! If you are fast you can join in!”

“Already leaving!”

BamBam giggled and Namjoon looked confused at him “Yugyeom wasn’t close to his rut? He didn’t even smell a little bit like it.”

The omega was looking through Mark's closet again “I know, but now he is going to run to the gym with a hardon, just to notice that nothing is going on!”

“You are cruel” but Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling along, BamBam’s laughter was so infectious “You don’t have to cuddle with me, you have a scent of smell so I understand”

BamBam seemed to have found what he was looking for, a much smaller plushie “Jackson didn’t tell you? Typical! We found this cream, when you smear it under your nose it filters all smell out for 12 hours! It’s great!”

The big bear that Namjoon was still cuddling got ripped from his arms and replaced with a warm BamBam instead as he placed the small plush unicorn next to their faces, it smelt like Mark. For a second BamBam looked at Namjoon then at himself, and then at Namjoon again, “Shirts off!” he declared already dragging his over the head.

Namjoon hesitated for a second, he didn’t like having a bare upper body around people, but he looked forward to having BamBam’s warm body pressed against his, the omega’s natural strawberry scent was already lulling Namjoon in, so he dragged his shirt of as well, throwing it somewhere on the floor. The shirt hadn’t even hit the floor before he was attacked by a happy omega, like Jackson he placed Namjoon how he wanted him to, both on their side legs intertwined noses almost touching each other.

The little unicorn plushie was kept safe by Namjoon while BamBam arranged them, now letting it rest between them will they held each other's hand over it, a constant reminder of the omega missing. BamBam looked down it for a second, and it was like a shadow fell over his face and he just looked sad.

Namjoon wanted to desperately remove that look from BamBam’s face, “Do you wanna talk about it?” He whispered in a low voice.

“Is it my fault?” That wasn’t the answer the Bts leader expected, he had expected the younger just to be missing Mark not to be blaming himself, then again he should have been expecting it. It was omega’s nature, they always took the blame on themselves on that level Namjoon could sympathize with them, after all he did the same.

“Of course it isn’t your fault, Mark told you so as well, why do you think these silly things” He let go of his hand in favor of grabbing him around to waist to hug him closer. With the cream removing his scent he didn’t have to worry about that, he could focus on making BamBam feel better.

“If I weren’t so needy… So omega… maybe the guys wouldn’t treat Mark like that, and he would still want us… still want me.” BamBam’s voice was shaking he had clearly been holding this in for a while.

“Mark wants you… You know this, even if Mark chooses the Exo pack over this pack he will still want you. I’m not in your pack and I still want you don’t I?” Namjoon tried to reason with him, petting the younger's hair “And even if you were like Mark… that just meant that they would be pushing two lovely omega’s away, this isn’t your fault… This is something they need to work on baby, never had anything to do with you.”

He could feel how BamBam’s was clawing at his naked back, he was almost sure he was going to have marks tomorrow, but for now it didn’t matter all that matter was making BamBam feel better “You can let it out sweetheart, I know you have been holding it in… Just let it out, I won’t judge you.”

That seemed to break the dam as BamBam started to cry for real, his tears running down his face onto Namjoon’s neck. Namjoon just petted his hair while rocking him softly in his arms, he knew that the younger needed to get it out.

When BamBam finally stopped crying he had exhausted himself, falling asleep there in Namjoon’s arms. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the clear sign of BamBam’s trust in him, omegas never really slept around people they didn’t trust. That was why nests were built around the omega.

“Thank you for giving him somebody to talk to, I couldn’t get him to talk no matter how much I tried.” Namjoon hadn't even noticed how Jinyoung had sneaked into the Bedroom, he was now calmingly carrasing BamBam’s hair, “Don’t tell me what the issue were, I am just happy that he found somebody he could feel like talking to.”

“He doesn’t have any omega friends other than Mark does he?” Namjoon ask in a hushed voice, afraid of waking the sleeping omega.

Jinyoung shook his head, the betas toffee smell was slowly filtering into the room as Namjoon continued “That’s the problem, omega’s need other omega’s to talk to.”

“Then it’s good that we have our adopted omega here isn’t it?” Jinyoung messed with Namjoon pastel purple hair as he blushed.

Namjoon hid his head in BamBam’s neck mumbling “I’m not an omega, I’m dud remember?”

“Naaah, you are our adopted omega, I don’t care what the rest of the world say. You are our omega for now, just cause your smell is off doesn’t matter” The feeling inside of Namjoon couldn’t be explained, he felt… Happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have two things to say:
> 
> First of all, I have been overwhelmed by the positive feedback by you guys, I am normally surprised and happy when one person comments on my stories... but so many of you, it has really helped me getting this chapter out already. And I want you to know that a really appreciate it.
> 
> Secondly, To all the people PM'ing me saying that I am lazy for only updating once a week and I don't appreciate my reader cause I am slow. could you politely fuck off? I have other stories to write as well, and just cause they are less popular does not mean I am going to drop them. Add the fact that I am not nativly English and I'm dyslexic... Writing takes me a lot of time and it is very slow, and getting told I am doing it to slow doesn't help me update... It just makes me annoyed
> 
> THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT GUYS! Hope you like this more happy chapter, and you start to understand the universe a bit better, since it is big and very complicated!
> 
> ALSO!!! 10 panda points to who ever guesses why Lu Han left


	4. MarkMon time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IMPORTANT PLEASE READ IT!
> 
> 1)  
> The respons to this story has been amazing, and I love all of you for reading and enjoying it. But it is time for me to alienate some of you.  
> If you are only here cause it is tagged 0t7 and you are not open for any other idea of endgame this might not be the story for you. As this story has evolved with me, and with the lovely conversations I have had with people in the comments I have come to conclusion that I don't know what the endgame is right now. The only thing I can promise is that endgame is a happy Namjoon. I don't know with who yet, if it will be with got7, Bts or a 3rd pack. Bts in this story has done some messed up shit. I am not going to sweep this under the rug, this is not going to be a story where a bully gets away with doing shit 'cause they are sorry'.  
> I am not making Bts a 'no character' villian either, they have reasons for what they are doing, and they have room to grow as well. But for now, if you aren't open for another kind of ending than ot7, I am sorry. But thanks for reading so far.
> 
> 2) Duds! I feel like I need to explain somethings about them. If any of you have ever played Dragon Age, Dud's are something along the line of tranquils. They have a lowered sense of emotional depth, and does not form the same kind of friendship and affections that other people form. This doesn't fit Namjoon I am aware, shit will happen.
> 
> 3) Thanks for all the comments guys, it means the world to me <3 and yes... I changed name XD
> 
> 4) AND I ALMOST FORGOT, Smut will be a thing from here on out, it won't be the focus on the story, but it will be a part of it.

Namjoon wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep, it had to be while he hushed talking with Jinyoung. The combined scent of strawberries and toffee plus all the pressure and stress he had been under had finally gotten the better of him as he had fallen asleep with BamBam still in his arms.

That wasn’t how he woke up the, BamBam had escaped from his arms during the night instead sandwiched between the two beta’s. Namjoon didn’t have to turn around to know who had their arms tight around him, Jackson had gotten his prefered spot spooning up behind Namjoon head buried in his hair and arms possessively around him. In Front of him close enough that Namjoon could actually feel his breath against his lips Yugyeom was sleeping quietly.

That young alpha had like Namjoon also a pair of arms possessively around him, these did belong to Got7’s leader and head alpha. Namjoon took a second to look over Jaebum in the almost darkness, it had been a long time since he had seen him, with Got7’s comeback Jaebum had been busy and he had heard from Jackson that the oldest alpha had been skipping out on sleep in favour of staying up making sure everything was right.

Dark circles was clear even in the moonlight, but lying there possessively hugging their youngest alpha to his chest made him seem somehow less rundown. Namjoon couldn’t keep himself from smiling, but he also felt uncomfortable even with the scent of all of them around him, here in the moonlight he could hear the voices again. Telling him that he needed to get out of there, that he needed to make sure that his scent didn’t corrupt all these things. He was taking a spot not meant for him, he was spreading his scent in things they weren’t meant to be, he needed to get out.

Even if he felt the panic built up in himself he was very gentle in untangling Jackson’s arms from around him, and it almost hurt his heart how the blond alpha let out an annoyed whine as he lost grab of Namjoon, who thinking quickly grabbed the bear from where it was discarded on the ground and replaced himself with it. The sleeping Jackson didn’t seem to happy about it, but he accepted it disgruntled in his sleep. Yugyeom didn’t seem to happy with the changes as well, as he sleepily grabbed for where Namjoon’s hand should be.

Namjoon lead his and Jackson’s hand together and it somehow settled the sensitive alpha as he hugged Jackson’s hand to his chest. Sometimes Namjoon thought that Yugyeom would have made a great omega, and whatever god there was cruel, but then again the redhead seemed more than happy with being an alpha.

A small smile found its way onto Namjoon’s face as he looked over the got7 pack all cuddled up in their nest. ‘Good job, now you don’t poison them’

‘Shut up!’  He couldn’t go back to his own pack at this time, first of all he didn’t bring his keys and waking the rest of them up at this time would get him into trouble that he didn’t feel like dealing with, and he didn’t really feel like getting dragged back to the got7 dorm against his will by a fuming Jackson and eyebrow raising Jinyoung. Or simply thrown over the shoulder of Yugyeom… Yeah once was enough for that, thank you very much.

Namjoon ended up making himself comfortable on the couch, it was a little cold but he didn’t want to get his scent all over the blanket. He could live with this, he didn’t want to be a bother, why did he forget his shirt in the bedroom again? He was stupid wasn’t he? Stupid silly Namjoon.

The couch smelled like butterscotch and spearmint, the two alphas had clearly had some ‘fun’ on the couch if the intensity of the smell said anything. Namjoon found it comfortable tho, and with the scent of alphas surrendering him he managed to ignore the cold and fall asleep again.

Namjoon was again by a hand lightly petting his hair, he was still in his sleepy state not completely awake, he was warm and comfortable with a strong but calming sense of vanilla clouding his mind and numbing his senses, “It’s too early to wake up baby, go back to sleep I will be here when you wake up.” a voice spoke lulling Namjoon back to sleep with the lovely sense of vanilla keeping him safe.

He wasn’t really sure how long time he slept when he woke again a warm thigh under his head and a lovely long fingered hand petting his hair lightly. Namjoon slowly started to wake up again slowly being guided up from the sleep he had been in “Slept well?”

First then did Namjoon realize who it was under him “Mark?” he asked with his voice groggy from sleep.

Mark’s comfortable vanilla sense got even stronger as Namjoon mentioned him “Hey Nammie” Namjoon didn’t need to open his eyes to know that Mark was smiling his nice comfortable smile.

Namjoon still didn’t want to completely wake up he was comfortable, he buried his face in Mark’s stomach with a light whine “Shouldn’t you be somewhere else?” he mumbled into the olders shirt.

“Well I wanted to see you, you guys goes into promotion soon and then we won’t get to see you at all.” he kept petting Namjoon’s hair with a calming movement “I’m sorry I had to leave before you got here.”

“It’s okay” the younger pastel haired male mumbled sleepily “What you are doing is important, I want you to be happy”

“That is why you are such an amazing person Nammie, but you know that I come back early for another reason. So I need you to wake up baby, this is important. I am not Jackson, I am not going to forget this.” Namjoon knew this, he knew that he would have to talk about this at some point, he had somehow hoped that he didn’t since Jackson hadn’t brought it up.

“I don’t want to.” he pushed his face more into Mark’s shirt clad stomach, before he grimaced “You are to skinny.”

Mark just laughed “Look who's talking, we need to talk about that to, but I want all the guys there for it, this is just going to be between me and you, now open those pretty eyes and look at me.”

Namjoon sighed as he rolled over still lying on Mark’s lap, but he opened his eyes meeting Mark’s calming eyes. Mark looked fluffy like this, his hair was back to it natural color and had no product in it and his face was bare and freed from any makeup high might have worn on his date, “Do we need to do this? I… Don’t want to talk about it.”

The oldest omega just shook his head “Nammie... You sounded terrified when you called Jackson, you never call him like that. We have to drag you to us, I need you to tell us what is wrong, you know you can’t keep it all in. Please don’t wall us… Don’t wall me out.”

Namjoon tried to look away but Mark was keeping his head still with gentle hands, he wasn’t getting out of this no matter how much he wanted to, “It wasn’t anything important, just a simple misunderstanding.”

Mark’s eyes softened “This is the problem baby, you always do this, you think that it isn’t something important because it is you that happened to.” he ran his fingers over Namjoon eyebrows in a calming movement.

“I promise, it really wasn’t something. I overreacted, he didn’t mean to do it. I just pushed him too far, I did something I shouldn’t have.” This was the problem, he shouldn’t have called them. He knew that he shouldn’t… He had just needed a hand, he just… wanted to feel wanted.

“What did he do, I promise I won’t be mad. I promise none of us will ever be mad, I just need you to talk to me.” Mark pleaded with Namjoon. The thing was that Namjoon knew that Mark just wanted the best for him, other than Jackson Mark was one of his best friends.

“It was Kookie… He… They told me to not sleep in the nest, so I”

“THEY DID WHAT!?” Mark interrupted Namjoon, almost making him fall of Mark’s lap, “Please tell me you are kidding, please tell me that they didn’t do that.”

Namjoon felt this need to defend his pack “It just made sense, Jungkook was struggling to sleep because of my scent, and Jimin was struggling to sleep without being up close with one of the other guys. I didn’t want to cause them issues, so it just made sense.”

He could feel how Mark tensed under him, and Namjoon rolled around again to bury his face in Mark’s soft shirt while running his fingers over his thigh in a calming movement, “You know how I struggle sleeping without other people’s scent, so I kinda stole some of their cloth. Just so I didn’t have to bother them.”

“You are never a bother to anybody, you know this we told you. What ever they said wasn’t true” Mark tried to calm down the clearly upset male.

“He alpha ordered me” Namjoon admitted out of the blue, and he could feel the pressure building up in his chest again, he got reminded of the crushing feeling of the blanket over his mind, how he felt like he couldn’t control himself. Like he had lost himself

Mark didn’t say anything at first, his hand that he been lightly playing with the younger's hair had frozen, Namjoon misunderstood this like Mark was angry with him, and he almost curled in on himself still lying in the olders lap “I’m sorry.”

The omega’s voice had a cold undertone that Namjoon had never before heard “I am going to kill him, I don’t fucking care with Jinyoung says anymore. He deserves to be killed. Who was it. Tell me who it was, I am going to fucking kill every single one of them just to be sure.”

Namjoon sat up with a set, the blanket that had been covering him falling of and exposing he still naked chest to the chilling air “It wasn’t Kookies fault! It was mine! I pushed him too far and didn’t want to tell him the truth.”

Mark hit the table in front of him in an angry movement “Don’t defend them!” his voice was almost a whisper but the edge in his voice was deadly “This is all their fucking fault, they made you like this! They made it so you didn’t feel you mattered. How would you feel if it was me? What if it was Jackson who gave me an alpha order! Forced me to do something I didn’t want to? What if it was Jaebum that forced me through alpha order to make a choice! Would that be okay? If anything I would deserve it by your logic.”

The thought of any of the Got7 alphas doing that to Mark made Namjoon’s blood run cold, and he felt incapable of logic thought, his mind consumed of Mark of being forced to be a mindless slave. He scrambled to place himself in Mark’s lap, even it it was slightly awkward with Namjoon being taller, he grabbed Mark face with soft hands “No! Don’t say that!”

Mark just laughed resting his forehead against Namjoon’s “So it’s okay that they do it to you for something  so meaningless, but not to me.”

“You are an omega! You are important! I am just a dud, I don’t matter.” Namjoon still wouldn’t let go of Mark’s face.

“This is the problem baby, you matter so much no matter what you think. You could be a gust of wind and you would still matter so much. It doesn’t matter what sub gender you are, or what I am. What matter is you.” The problem was that Mark knew this was a losing battle, the self hatred was grounded so deep in Namjoon’s personality that it didn’t matter what Mark did to lessen it. They had all tried, but they couldn’t get through to him.

“Can I ask something?” Namjoon asked so hesitant that Mark almost cooed at him, he liked having Namjoon in his lap. Namjoon gave him the same calming feeling that BamBam did.

“Of cause you can,” The fact that Namjoon felt that he had to ask permission to speak was really part of the issue wasn’t it?

“Have you ever… Uhm been ordered?”

Mark just shook his head “No, alpha’s are thought not to do it. Ordering an omega can be dangerous to their health, and alpha’s can be put in jail for it. What was done to you was wrong.” He said it in a manner of fact voice.

“It’s his hormones, he can’t control them. He is trying very hard, he would never do it to Jimin, he is trying very very hard” He defended the maknae.

“Golden Maknae my ass” Mark mumbled “Can’t even do basic things. Can you do a thing for me Nammie?”

Namjoon nodded eagerly, putting a bit of distance between them but still not removing himself from his lap. Mark put his hands lightly on Namjoon’s hips before tilting them both to the side so they ended up lying on the couch instead. Course both of them to giggle lightly at the tilt “I want you to repeat after me, can you do that?” Another nod “I am worth happiness”

That was not what Namjoon expected to hear, and he blushed lightly, he wanted to hide from Mark’s intense stare, but there was nowhere to look other than him with how close they were, “I am worth happiness” he mumbled in an unconvincing voice.

“Again, and don’t whisper this time” Mark smiled at him.

“I am worth happiness” It still wasn’t as convincing as Mark wanted it, but it was a start. The worst part was that they all felt that they got progress done with Namjoon every time they spend time with him, but then he went back to Bts and all their progress was gone.

The worst part about it was that he couldn’t do anything about it, none of them could. Dud’s couldn’t take the bite of pack, but he still belonged to the Bts pack, if he was part of their pack instead both Jyp and BigHit would instantly swap around their living conditions. It was one of the few positive parts of being an idol. Doing to an law companies like this had to be supportive of whatever pack their members joined, and all members should be given the option to live with their pack and never questioned about it. Companies weren’t allowed to pressure their members into joining a specific pack, and even just a member accusing a company of doing this could cause massive issues.

If Namjoon was a part of their pack he would be with them at all other times than when he had important stuff to do with Bts, it would be like any other job. But in the end of the day he would return to them. Mark knew that they could help Namjoon, that they could make him feel better, that they could help make him feel like a person again. He never knew what Bts’s problem was, they always treated Namjoon like he was just a dud. Even if he was a dud he deserved better than this! They put all their information in stereotypes, and they were slowly destroying this amazing person in his arms.

Mark knew he shouldn’t push the topic more, by trial and error they had learned how far they could push Namjoon with these talks. Pushing too far would push him into a spiral and hurt him more than it would help him, Mark ran his finger over Namjoon’s still bare rips in a teasing wfingertips.

Namjoon tried to keep in his laughter, but as Mark did it again a giggle escaped him and he smiled at the omega “stop it you know I am ticklish.”

For some time they both just laid there enjoying each others company until Namjoon remembered “You never told me why you came home this early! And don’t tell me it was because of me, you came home while I would be sleeping.”

This coursed Mark to blush a heavy color and it was now his turn to look away from Namjoon embarrassed, and that was when Namjoon noticed, why hadn’t he noticed before just how strong Mark’s scent were, and how it had this sweet and lovely undertone “You are in preheat!”

He just nodded embarrassed and tried to hide his face in Namjoon’s neck, which in turn caused his scent gland to be right in front of Namjoon face and now that Namjoon allowed himself to really smell it he was almost overwhelmed by the sweet scent of preheat. He knew he shouldn’t be affected by it, he shouldn’t even be able to smell the sweet scent, but he did and he could feel the effect on his body. He had never before been this close to an omega getting ready to go into heat, the rest of the guys always kept Namjoon away from the nest when Jimin was getting ready to go into heat.

“Mark you should be with the guys, or even with exo you can’t be here with me when you are going into heat” Namjoon tried to reason. God he just wanted to take care of Mark, not in the ‘I must own and knot this omega’ alpha way, but in the ‘I wanna take care, cares and make sure that everything is okay for him’ kind of way.

Mark shook his head still hiding his face “I can’t, if I spend my heat with either of them they will just think that I am picking them, I don’t want to lead them on.”

“Mark they have both been courting you in forever, how many heats have you spend alone?” Mark whined deep in his throat.

“All of them, can we not talk about this… I… Ehm… If I think about the heat, I can’t control it” the younger had to admit he was kinda impressed by Mark, the omega had to have an iron grip on his self control.

Namjoon nuzzled his head into his neck “Mark you are 23, that’s 1 heat every two months for 5 years, that’s not good for you.”

He knew that he should let Mark go, that he was poisoning mark with his scent, but the sweet smell of omega was amazing. He wanted to be selfish, god he wanted to be selfish and keep him here in his arms. Mark seemed to keen in Namjoon’s arms, the cream making him not give zero shit about Namjoon’s scent, he just liked how Namjoon’s presents made him feel more calm. While they had their talk it was easy for him to ignore the low burn of the preheat especially since the conversation was so serious, but now he could clearly feel it, “Mum taught me that you should only spend your heat with your pack, my first heat is going to be when I join my pack and get my bite.” Namjoon couldn’t keep himself from smiling into Mark’s scent gland.

That was so Mark, the idea that you had to wait for your pack to share your heat was long since stopped, but Mark was a romantic inside so of cause that was what he wanted. “Nammie we need to put some space between us, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” that was when he noticed that Mark was indeed hard against his leg.

Now both of them were blushing now, it was the first time Namjoon had been put in any kind of sexual position. Everybody always hid it away from him, it was weird now that Namjoon thought about it. With over 66% of the planet going into ruts and heats the world was fairly open about sexual activities. Namjoon knew that every single member of his own pack had had some kind of fun with somebody outside of their pack.

Jimin needed another omega, Lu Han had been his favorite when he was still in Korea, now he favoured Hongbin. The rest Namjoon never really kept up with, it was normal after all, “I… uhm… could take care of it, “ he blushed deeply “Just if you want of cause!”

At this point they were both blushing like wallflowers, “I don’t want want to force you into something you aren’t into.”

“Are you kidding Mark? Have you seen yourself, or smell yourself?”

“Aren’t you… you know… Asexual? We read that dud’s doesn’t feel sexual urges at all, I don’t want to push you.”

Namjoon was just confused at that point, he had never thought himself as asexual, he had very very clear sexual urges… He just never had a chance to feed those urges, “No it’s just… you know my scent… So people don’t really see me that way” Namjoon felt so ashamed admitting it, he felt like he was showing Mark all the reason this was a bad idea.

“You mean that?” Mark still didn’t look convinced, but then again… Mark had always been very careful with Namjoon, might come from the fact that the first time they met Mark walked in on him having a panic attack in a closet at an award ceremony.

Namjoon nodded now looking hesitant as well, had he pushed for to much? Stupid stupid wNamjoon, he should have known better. Mark was to good for him anyway.

Mark licked his lips eyeing Namjoon’s “Would you let me… uhm… Grind on your thigh?” Mark looked so shy, something he rarely saw the self assured omega be.

“Is that what you want?” Namjoon was confused, he knew how this normally worked, and he expected… something different, but then again the thought of Mark in his lap slowly taking his pleasure from Namjoon as he wanted it was really hot. Then again, Mark could pretty much ask to do anything and Namjoon would probably find it hot. He always dreamed about his first time doing anything like this would be with one of his packmates, but this was okay. Yeah… Namjoon liked this, Mark was nice… Mark was safe and warm and he made Namjoon feel happy.

Mark kinda awkwardly laughed “Don’t laugh at me it's just… You have really great thighs, and I’m afraid if I do anything more my heat is going to start completely, and I really just want the top of.” Namjoon could feel how Mark’s entire body was heating up, and the sweet vanilla smell mixed with even sweeter preheat smell was going to Namjoon’s brain.

Namjoon nodded quickly, he didn’t know if it was just himself being eager or that with a mix of Mark’s fucking amazing scent, it was the first time in so long that Namjoon could remember feeling wanted, like really wanted.

Mark gently rolled them over, so instead of lying on their side facing each other he was now in the youngers lap with one of Namjoon’s thighs between his, it seemed that Mark had finally decided to stop babying him as Namjoon could feel Mark’s erection through his shorts, “Grab my upper thighs Nammie, that way you can help me but I am still in control, okay?”

Namjoon just nodded ready to follow whatever Mark told him to, quickly placing his hands on Marks smooth upper thigh. Yeah he could do this, but then the omega started to lightly grind into Namjoon’s thigh and all his senses felt like they had gotten a boost. He was keenly aware of the fact that he had a pre heat omega on his lap, and that preheat omega was Mark.

“That good Nammie, not too hard you are guiding not controlling.” another grind and Mark let out a light moan. That sound… It was the same sound that he had heard from Jimin through the wall so many times, that sweet amazing omega moan, and he… Namjoon was the cause of it.

Namjoon had no idea how long they were like that, Mark grinding on his thigh, he felt completely lost in the omega above him, was this like it always was? Like everything other than the other person stopped existing? That was when Namjoon felt… something wet running down Mark’s thigh. Oh… “Mark... “ Namjoon ran his thumb up stopping right under the edge of Mark’s shorts gathering the slick with it.

Namjoon was fascinated by the slick he gathered, since he wasn’t an omega he didn’t create slick. Was it like Mark? Vanilla? I smelled like vanilla, he didn’t even think about before stuffing his thumb into his mouth, letting the taste of the slick explode in his mouth. It tasted like Mark, like the most amazing taste he ever tasted? How did half of got7 not live in Mark’s ass at this point, did all omega’s taste this good?

“Okay yeah... you need to stop that, I am going to cum… Like yesterday” Mark moaned out, staring at Namjoon’s mouth where he still had his thumb in his mouth.

“I thought that was the point?” Namjoon asked confused.

Mark just looked at him with wide eyes, “yeah… I’m going to kiss you now,” he leaned down to kiss Namjoon but before he managed to Namjoon had already lifted himself up a bit to meet Mark. The second their lips meet in a very simple kiss, Namjoon felt Mark go tense above him and release a moan as he came, and then went slack over him.

The omega more or less just went completely limp above Namjoon, resting his full weight on him. Namjoon let him tho, running his hand through Mark’s hair as Mark’s preheat body slowly cool down to its normal temperature as the preheat left his body.

As the both cooled down, Namjoon doing his best to think of naked old people to will away his erection, he suddenly couldn’t stop himself from giggling, causing Mark to giggle with him without even knowing the reason “Was my orgasme face that funny? Or I’m I just that bad at kissing?”

“It was my first kiss,” Namjoon giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOO! That finishes the happy side of our story, Namjoon is going back to Bts next chapter... Are we all looking forward to that?  
> To people who thing the smut scene was very sudden, it might be, but it is also important cause it is a catalyst to events of next chapter!  
> Also since so many lovely people have commented on this and I feel I have a real connection to you guys I wanted to end each chapter from now on with 2 weird fact's about me as a write/kpop fan.
> 
> 1) I used to teach Character devolpment and world building at the City academy in London
> 
> 2) I wrote my first FanFic in 2004 as 10 years old, it was a very very badly written Harry Potter FanFic in my native language, with an average chapter length of 300 words ^^
> 
> If any of you ever feel like hitting me up for a chat you can always find me at http://rofics.tumblr.com/ where my writing will also be published first.
> 
> FIGHTING!


	5. Kissy time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I am late with this one... Sorry :(
> 
> And to that one person who has bookmarked this as 'Jackson Wang you beautiful bastard'... Marry me?

Namjoon kinda expected them to just relax lying on the couch, maybe for Mark to dose of while his smaller frame was comfortable on top of Namjoon’s. That wasn’t what happened, after a few minutes of silence Namjoon felt Mark starting to rub his face against both sides of his face, it felt really good but Namjoon felt slightly awkward “What are you doing?”

“Lie still” Mark just ordered him, as he was starting to rub his hands all over Namjoon’s still exposed upper body.

Namjoon could feel himself flush, with all that had gone on he had kinda forgot that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his body heat up in a weird way with the way that Mark touched him, “Markie… are you scent marking me?”

Mark didn’t answer, he just nuzzled his face into Namjoon’s scent gland completely ignoring question set on whatever he was doing, leaving Namjoon not knowing what to do. The last time he had been scent mark was when he was a kid by his parents, but parent’s stopped scent marking their kids around 14 so they could slowly come into their own scent. Nobody had ever scent marked him since he had become a dud, most people didn’t go close to him.

But here Mark was rubbing his sweet vanilla scent all over him, he had cuddled with the rest of Got7 no doubt about it, but nobody had ever scent marked him before. Scent marking was deeply personal and many times sexual “Mark you can’t do this, it’s wrong I’m dud”

“I will stop if you have an argument that doesn’t have anything to do with you sub gender.” That left Namjoon’s mind blank, he never really thought about anything like that without thinking about his identity was his sub-gender. All anybody ever saw was BTS leader Namjoon, or that kpop star who are dud.

“I like Kim Namjoon, the overly cuddly guy who pretends he isn’t. I like the guy who fall asleep in our arms because he works to hard. I like the guy I can trust to take care of BamBam if I’m not here. You are more than just a dud. Now lie still, I never got to do this! We always had a rule to keep sex stuff away from you since we thought you didn’t like it, but now they can’t stop me without dragging me away from you.”

Mark said it in a matter of fact way that he clearly left no room for disagreement, he never thought of himself like that, was Mark right? Could he be more than his sub gender? “You are all using that cream, nobody can smell it on me anyway so it doesn’t matter” Namjoon tried to argue.

He couldn’t deny the fact that he really liked what Mark was doing to him, specially when he liked Namjoon on the side of his neck that had no scent gland. The omegas hand was now holding down his shoulder to keep him from moving, “I know it’s there that’s all that matter.” He scent Namjoon a grin, “Is this the first time somebody marks you? Scent marks?”

Namjoon could feel himself blush again, to admit that nobody had ever done something this basic to him was embarrassing, he was to ashamed to answer so he just nodded in agreement. “I want to do something different, can you lie still for me Nammie? This might feel weird, but I want to be the first.”

With the way that Mark looked at him with a giant shit eating grin, laughter showing in his eyes, Namjoon really couldn’t deny him anything. The older could have asked to stab him, and Namjoon would probably have agreed as long as he kept looking this happy, Mark was rarely this happy lately, “I trust you.”

“Turn your head around, expose that side of your neck with no scent gland on it to me.” Namjoon easily obeyed the command, not sure what Mark wanted to do to him.

That was until he felt a set of lips on his neck, and then he felt the pressure as Mark started to suck on his neck. Oh… Mark was marking him up! “Markie… Are you sure this is okay?” Namjoon’s voice was slightly whiny and high. He couldn’t explain why it felt the way it did, he knew it wasn’t just the physical pleasure of having a very good looking male on his lap sucking on his neck. It felt weird inside his mind, it was like his mind was relaxing and calming. It was kinda in a way like the blanket that Jungkook put on his mind, but much less effective, he knew he could get out if he wanted to he knew that he was okay. However he also felt like he belonged.

“Shh, just let me do this I promise you will like it… and the outcome I promise” the omega went back to marking him up right under his jawline, first seeming content when a giant multicolored hickey was covering the left side of his neck.

“See! Now I got your first kiss, your first scent marking, and the first mark you ever got to bear was mine!” Mark sounded way happy with himself.

“You aren’t going to make fun of me for not having done anything before?” he asked hesitantly. He was 22, the fact that he had done something just proved how nobody wanted him.

Mark seemed to finally have decided that Namjoon was marked enough as he went back to just cuddling, Namjoon felt… content… The voices had stopped in his head, his entire body was warm and content, there was a happy bubbling in his chest, “I would never make fun of you. Your pack are stupid, and now all your firsts belong to me.” Mark did his rendition of an evil laughter, but it mostly came out as a cute giggle, and he pressed a light kiss to Namjoon’s lips again “You have to protect me now tho.”

“From what?”

“FROM ME! MARK I WANTED THE FIRST GOT7 OMEGA KISS! THIS ISN’T FAIR YOU CHEATED!” it came whiny and shrill from the entrance to the nest, the next second Namjoon felt the air getting knocked out of him as BamBam jumped on top of Mark and him.

Both Mark and Namjoon let out loud whines at the same time as BamBam’s weight crashed onto them, the young Thai omega didn’t seem to give zero fucks tho “Joonie! How could you let Mark get away with this! You are mine!”

Namjoon was pretty sure that he was forgiven tho if the was that BamBam nuzzled Mark’s scent gland was anything to go by, he was pretty sure that BamBam was just happy to have Mark home as his strawberry scent mixed with Mark’s vanilla, “You can’t do that” it was Mark’s turn to have a breathless voice now “I am in pre-heat, you are going to push me over the edge. I want to stay until Namjoon has to leave before I go and hide.”

BamBam’s eyes got comically large as he looked from Namjoon to Mark, “Oh my god you guys” He pointed back and forward between them.

Mark just send him a shit eating grin, while Namjoon still lying under both of turned his head away in embarrassment, what he didn’t think about was that he was now clearly showing of the hickey Mark had proudly giving him “MARK! THIS IS NOT FAIR! You got to spend preheat, kiss and mark him up!”

“And scent mark him” Mark was way to smug about this.

“Guys it is way too early to be this loud” and there was the last member that Namjoon hadn’t really gotten to talk to as Youngjae walked out of the nest as well “Why are you guys trying to crush Joonie-hyung?” He rubbed his eyes with his sweater paws as he yawned.

Namjoon always questioned how a beta was allowed to be that cute, anybody who looked at Youngjae like this would assume that he was an omega, but no Youngjae was their adorable little beta, BamBam didn’t seem to care that half of their pack was still sleeping as he yelled out “Mark cheated!” he was up from the couch to shake Youngjae clearly annoyed that the beta didn’t magically know what had happened “He kissed Joonie! And Joonie got him off! And he even scent marked him! AND GAVE HIM A GIANT HICKEY! IT’S NOT FAIR!” BamBam was now full on puppy eyes and pouting trying to get the sleepy beta to see his side.

“So you decided that you guys needed to crush him so he couldn’t breath? Cause he was nice enough to help Mark with preheat?” He leaned his head on BamBam’s shoulder, looking like he was going to fall asleep standing up.

“We had an agreement with Exo that none of us would but a hand on Mark during preheat or heat while we were both courting him, I am going to kick Minseok’s ass” It seemed that their loud (By their he definitely meant BamBam’s) yelling had woken up the rest of Got7, Jaebum had made his way into the living room as well.

The pack alpha looked a lot more well rested than he did when Namjoon left the nest, the bags under his eyes were almost completely gone and he looked good as he stretched shaking to last of sleep from his mind. Like the rest of Got7 Jaebum didn’t seem to have a big believe in shirts, and it made Namjoon feel self conscious about his own shirtless state, he wanted to grab the blanket to cover himself with, but Mark was still lazing on top of him loo, still looking smug as fuck.

“No Joonie helped him, is nobody focusing on the point here!?”

“Namjoon helped who?” and as if it were a shitty comedy show, in walked Yugyeom, looking extremely confused about why his pack was yelling this early in the morning.

Namjoon couldn’t keep himself from giggling, BamBam’s completely lost expressed was just too good, “Okay all of this shitty pack here now!” BamBam grumbled storming into the bedroom to probably drag the two remaining members out of the nest.

Youngjae looked like he was going to fall if it hadn’t been for Jaebum being quick and grabbing a hold of him “This is what happens when you spend most of the night teasing your pack members instead of sleeping, you fall asleep standing up.” Even tho it was said as an reprimand, his voice was soft. People could say what they wanted about Jaebum, but in reality he was one big fuzzy teddy bear who loved his pack more than anything else.

Youngjae didn’t answer instead just leaned on Jaebum with his eyes still closed, BamBam came out dragging a sleepy Jackson and not at all amused Jinyoung, “I suggest we deport Mark to Monsta X instead.”

While Mark stayed with closed eyes, almost purring like a cat as Namjoon petted his hair, the rest of Got7 looked like BamBam had just suggested that they become a girl jazz group, “Excuse me what?” It came from Jinyoung “Are you okay?”

BamBam stamped in the ground clearly not amused “He cheated!”

Now it was Jackson’s time to look regretful, and Namjoon was happy Mark had decided to ignore the rest of Got7, Namjoon hated how Jackson blamed himself for Mark not joining them “BamBam we been over this, he is being courted by Exo, that doesn’t make it cheating.”

“Actually, that is rude as well, but this is more important than Exo’s inability to keep an omega! MARK STOLE NAMJOON’S FIRST OMEGA KISS FROM ME!” That seemed to actually wake up a tired Got7 that all now looked at Mark like he had grown an extra head. Mark to his credit seemed to have finally decided to pay attention to them.

Jaebum surprisingly was the first one to react “Mark, what the fuck, you know we had a rule! Not push him!”

The omega seemed to have realized that he was in some deep shit at this point “It’s not like that! I didn’t force him! He asked me to!” And for the first time in what seemed like hours he removed himself from Namjoon in favour of trotting up to Jaebum poking him in the chest “Do you really think I would force myself on him! He came to me! We were wrong, he isn’t asexual! Which we could have figured out much sooner, if some stupid alpha hadn’t decided that it was better not to talk about in fear of making him awkward.”

A squawk came from Jackson “His… HOW DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS!?” Namjoon had to admit, it was fun seeing Jackson and the rest of Got7 throw a tantrum, he never thought it would be like this… They were arguing for him, not against him, it made him happy. They wanted him didn’t they? He couldn’t keep in a giggle as they all started arguing over who should get Namjoon’s next kiss. Was this how feeling wanted was like?

He never managed to hear what they decided on, cause Youngjae had decided to slide into his lap ignoring the rest of the arguing “Is this okay?” He asked in a low voice with a smile on his lips.

Namjoon smiled at him, like he could ever deny the cute beta anything “Of course it is.” He wanted to say more, but he never got the chance to cause Youngjae took his mouth in a soft kiss.

He kissed differently than Mark, Mark took control and clearly liked showing that he had the control, Youngjae was different. With Youngjae it was an equal and soft dance, he didn’t take control of the kiss, but he didn’t let Namjoon take it either he instead just let them be on equal foot. Namjoon couldn’t pick one he prefered, they were both so them.

Youngjae didn’t take the kiss very far, it was soft and mild, and then he broke it resting their foreheads together. His soft smile, but still slightly sleepy and dopey, coursing Namjoon to giggle “Thank you Jae.”

“Awww that was almost cute.” It seemed like Mark had gotten tired of what ever lecture that Jaebum was giving him about personal space.

Jinyoung laughed from his space on the other couch “While the rest of us argue, Youngjae just goes for it.”

“I WANT MY JOONIE KISS NOW!” BamBam was almost red in his head now clearly he was not having this shit anymore.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing and trying to hide his head in Youngjae’s shoulder, the young beta couldn’t stop himself from smiling… Namjoon was just so cute, “You guys are making him shy, you guys all want the same. Why not just go by age?”

“You can easily say that you already got your kiss!” BamBam whined, but Jaebum shut him down.

“maybe we should ask Namjoon if he is okay with this, and then we can go by age”  Jaebum was using his packleader voice, but.he wasn't making it an alpha order.

Namjoon was still hiding his face in the betas shoulder, but he nodded hoping that they would notice, he wanted it he really did. After getting his first kiss he wanted so much more, he wanted to find the difference between all of them, “aww look at him, so shy. Our baby doesn't know how to ask for kisses, actually does that mean I get another kiss?” Mark

cooed.

“no it doesn't, Joonie can you come over here?” Jaebum seemed to finally have decided to take control, and after Mark he was the oldest one.

wJaebum was leaning against the wall signalling Namjoon to come to him, Namjoon was shy lifting Youngjae of his lap. He only just got into Jaebum’s personal space as the got7 leader grabbed him by the wrist, Namjoon just lead himself be lead until Jaebum had him like wanted, hands above his head and pinned against the wall.

“Let's make Jackson jealous Joonie, he wants you so bad. I promise that it's going to be so fun, trust me?” It was whispered into Namjoon’s ear, and the younger nodded eagerly he would do anything he was asked. Namjoon couldn't explain why, but the feeling of submitting to the older alpha gave Namjoon butterflies in his stomach.

The kiss that Jaebum gave him was nothing like any of the the other kisses he had gotten, it was mind searing and dominating. While Mark had controlled their kiss it was nothing like this, Jaebum consumed his entire being, he took and controlled and gave Namjoon no chance but to submit.

His hands were still held above his head by his wrist, the other of Jaebum’s hands were cradling his face, holding it like he wanted it. Namjoon could get lost in Jaebum he was sure of that, he could get lost in this feeling of being blanketed by the alpha. The kiss didn’t least nearly as long as Namjoon wanted it to, and when Jaebum was moved from him, when he stop pumping those amazing alpha pheromones around it Namjoon was slightly unstable on his feet and without Jaebum still holding his arms, he wasn’t sure he was standing.

Like water popping in his ears sound welled over him like a tsunami “Okay I think that is enough!” Jackson’s voice was heard, oh… He was the one who pulled away Jaebum.

Namjoon flushed at how Jaebum was looking at him, like he was something the older alpha wanted to eat, the scent of spearmint was dancing around them, the look in his eyes almost made Namjoon worry, had Jaebum lost control of his inner alpha? But Jaebum just winked at him, this was all a show.

When Jaebum released his hands Jackson was already in his personal space pushing against his side, in what Namjoon was sure was suppose to be a protective movement, “Don’t you think you took it a little too far Jb?” Jackson questioned, Namjoon could almost hear the pout in his voice “We don’t want to scare him away!”

“I am not scaring him away, we are all fine… Right Joonie?” Again he blinked with a smirk on his face, but this time Jackson saw it as well.

“You are too much… too fucking much!” the younger alpha exclaimed.

Namjoon giggled lightly, he felt so… safe here. With all of the got7 pack, he felt safe, “Jackson it’s fine, I am not a baby. If i´_I’m not comfortable, I will tell you… I promise.”

Didn’t really seem to make Jackson less pouty “Cause yeah… That worked so well every time they shitheads you live with does it.”

The mention of Bts made Namjoon feel like he gotten slapped across the face, he hated that they saw Bts like the villians. They weren’t! They were just… misunderstood, and they didn’t always understand why something they did hurt Namjoon, they might act like they didn’t care, but they did… They had to right?

“Jackson… It’s complicated, they are good people. Can we… not talk about it.”

Jinyoung ended up being the mood saver as he said, voice slightly mischievous “Jackson, doesn’t always think about how his uses his mouth, that is why the rest of prefer to gag him. Much better.”

“You didn’t complain about my mouth last night?”

“Last night your mouth was too full to even be able to say something love, on your knees with your mouthful.” Jackson blushed at that, and so did Namjoon. He tried to shake the image of Jackson on his knees in front of Jinyoung from his mind.

“You guys are making Namjoon shy, weren’t there supposed to be kissing involved, or is Jackson surrendering his turn?” Yugyeom asked from his space sitting cross legged on the floor.

Jackson glared at the youngest alpha “You are all mean,” but their was no mean spiritedness behind it, “Namjoon can I kiss you now?”

Namjoon just nodded, feeling a little bit too shy to use his voice, luckily for him Jackson was more than happy to lead this. He didn’t corner Namjoon like Jaebum had done, he softly pulled the younger towards him and lead their lips together. Jackson didn’t kiss like any of the others did, he controlled the kiss, but he was busy teasing. His teeth would nips at Namjoon’s full bottom lip and teasingly drag his tongue over it without any intention of deepening it.

Namjoon tried to keep up with Jackson, but he had no real idea what to do, all the kissing experience he had was from today! He tried to copy Jackson, but almost jumped back when he felt their tongues touching, forcing the kiss to be broken. Both of them was blushing as they looked at each other, but Namjoon definitely felt like he was the biggest mess out of both of them.

The next person to lightly grab his arm with Jinyoung “I guess it’s my turn now” the beta smiled calmingly at him, he always had a calming effect on Namjoon, it was one of his best qualities. Jinyoung’s kiss was just like Jinyoung himself, calming and relaxing. He didn’t push Namjoon or anything, he showed Namjoon how to handle it. He guided Namjoon’s hand to the pack of Jinyoung’s neck, as he guided Namjoon through it amazingly.

When the kiss was broken he didn’t feel the heat running through him like with Jaebum, he didn’t feel the embarrassment like with Jackson, he just felt calm and centered. Not that he got long time to feel that way, cause BamBam was entirely done waiting for everybody to finish their shit, “It’s my turn now!”

Namjoon was always surprised with just how much strength BamBam had in his smaller body, as he pushed Namjoon onto the couch and got onto his lap. Namjoon found BamBam’s kissing style adorable, he was like an overeager puppy. None of them had any control over the kiss, they just went with the flow. At first Namjoon wanted to back away from BamBam’s strong grab on his hair, but the more the kiss went on the more he found that he liked the little tucks at his hair, it sent electricity down his spine in a good way.

The kiss was definitely the longest, but then again. Namjoon didn’t really think he could count it as one kiss, it was more a lot of smaller kisses and bites in a short amount of time, but when BamBam finally decided to let Namjoon breath they were both giggling.

Namjoon felt a light tap on his shoulder, when he turned to see who it was a soft kiss was placed on him, Yugyeom kissed exactly as expected, shy and softly. His kiss was without a doubt the shortest, but it didn’t mean that it took his breath away any less than the rest of them.

For a moment it seemed like none of them knew where to go from there, but Mark didn’t let the slight awkwardness stay “Sooo… who is the best kisser? It’s me right?”

He never ended up answering that question, cause the rest of the pack was over Mark in a second, playfully knocking him around protesting what he said. It was moments like this where he could find himself wishing that he could stay, wishing that this was what he came home to. Got7 cared about him right? They had to… why else would they treat him like this.

When evening came around Namjoon knew he had to leave, he had to go back home. The vacation was over, Mark had left earlier to wherever he played on spending his heat alone. It was time for Namjoon to leave as well, BamBam almost begged him to stay, and he almost did, he didn’t want to leave.

It ended up with Jinyoung and Youngjae escorting him home to the Bts dorms, first Jackson wanted to go, but one strong look from Jaebum settled him down without any struggle, even if did mumble that he had self control. The closer they got to the dorms, the more he could feel his hands shaking, first when Youngjae grabbed one his hand intertwining their fingers did the shaking stop. Both beta’s looked sad and regretful as they gathered him in a hug outside of the door to the Bts dorms, Toffee and white chocolate swirling around him in a perfect combination, “You know you can come to us anytime Joonie, no matter what, even if we have schedule or you have schedule.”

Namjoon just nodded, hugging both of them one after the other. He didn’t know what it was that coursed him to hug them even closer, but somehow he knew that it would be a very long time since he would see them again, might have been his instincts. He took a deep breath before he opened the door, like he knew something bad would happen when he went inside, and god was he right. Yoongi stood in the entrance hall, ice cold and stance hostile “Been out whoring yourself out? You smell like a brothel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah.. This isn't as good as I wanted it, but you know... sad face.
> 
> Also this is late... I am aware, I were stuck at a wedding on Saturday and slept a hangover off today.
> 
> In other notes, from 20th to the 27th, I wont be here nor will I be writing anything. I am leaving on the 20th to meet my boyfriends parents in Japan, which is mildly terrifying. BUT BUT BUT I have an 11 hour flight to write in, since I wont have all my notes I don't feel comfortable writing a new chapter of this (Hopefully I will have finished one in advice that can be posted while I'm gone)
> 
> Instead as a Christmas thing I have decided to do a few one shots belong to this story! Stuff like 'a day in the life of the BigBang pack' Or 'How the Seventeen HipHop unit became a pack' little things like that, would that be something you guys would be interested in? Then again... even if you aren't... I might write it anyway XD
> 
> PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR BEING LATE! AND SORRY FOR THE CHAPTER NOT BEING AMAZING!!!! SORRY!


	6. Pain for my pack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS DIDN'T SEE THIS FAST UPDATE COMING NOW DID YOU!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are Yoongi stan, I want to remind you that murder is illegal and you can't kill me over the internet.
> 
> Also I have been stuck in a train for 3 hours, and I had no internet so I could do homework... that is why such a fast update!

Namjoon froze as the door closed behind him, he had never had Yoongi’s anger turned at him, most of the time the older rapper just ignored him, acted like he wasn’t there “It’s not like that.” he tried to defend himself.

“Drop the act, I can smell them all over you. And it smells like Mark is about to go into heat. How can you do this? How can you be this stupid? Do we mean nothing to you?” It felt like a solid kick in his stomach, Bts meant so much to him! How could Yoongi even say that.

He was stupid wasn’t he? He had been so happy at the Got7 dorms that he had forgotten one of the most important things, he was just stupid silly Namjoon, “You guys mean everything to me!”

“Oh that’s a way to show it! Whoring yourself out! Isn’t Jimin enough of an omega for you?! You need to fuck around with other! Do I need to go and get Jimin so you can tell him to his face how you don’t give a fuck about him! How he isn’t good enough for him!” Yoongi’s voice was cutting him like a blade, but he hadn’t moved from his spot leaning against the wall arms crossed and brows frowned. 

Somewhere in his mind he knew that Yoongi was using his own fear against him, he knew that Yoongi was using how much he cared against him. Namjoon knew that Jimin by nature was an insecure person, Namjoon never wanted to make that worse, he wanted Jimin to have have the world, and the omega never deserved to feel insecure, “Yoongi! I promise it isn’t like that!” Namjoon desperately pleaded with the alpha.

Namjoon could feel the voices returning, bombarding the inside of his skull with all the thought of how this was all his fault, he had hurt his pack by being stupid and thoughtless! “What are leader you are Namjoon, can’t even stop himself from hurting his members. What would happen if the public found out that our leader is whoring himself out to whatever pack that want him for a day!”

He could feel the tears gathering in the corners in his eyes, how could he have been this careless “Please… I never wanted to hurt anybody, you guys was busy so I just went to visit Jackson!"

“Oh so the second we aren't paying you enough attention you run off and give yourself to the first person you see! How selfish are you! We have an entire pack to take care off, we can’t always be babysitting our leader!”

Why had he even gone to Jackson? He should have known better, he should have stayed with HIS pack. He should stop being so fucking needy! “I am not going to do it again! I swear! Please don’t throw me out!” as soon as he said it Namjoon felt like he was going to have a panic attack, he had fucked it up for himself right? Yoongi was going to kick him out of the pack because he was an attention seeking needy whore! He wasn’t an omega, he should stop needing the attention so much!

“They don’t care you know that right? They just find you easy, why would they care. They are already fighting to keep Mark, you really think that they want you? You are broken, you are no use for them!”

No… No… they cared, they said they cared! They had all promised him that they cared about him! They wouldn’t lie to him? “They said they cared! We are friends!” Namjoon weakly protested, but he couldn’t look at Yoongi anymore, he was talking against his pack alpha. How dared he do that! He wasn’t even a real person, and now he dared speaking like he mattered.

“That is what people say when they want to sleep with something, they want nothing else from you. To them you are just a playtoy, just a standing until they get Mark back, they could have anybody. You know that! But you are easy so they just settled for you for now, don’t think that they are going to stick around!” There was light growl in Yoongi’s tone.

He was right wasn’t he? Why would they want him? He was just silly stupid Namjoon, he should have known better. How could he had been so stupid? How could he had let Got7 play him? How did he think that would even care about him, look at them! An alpha like Jaebum and Jackson could have anybody they want! Jinyoung was like the perfect beta, he was supportive, and always had your back! They were all so much better than him, he had just been easy hasn’t he? “I’m sorry Yoongi! I won’t do it again! Tell me what I can do to make it all better, I never wanted to hurt our pack! I love you guys you know it!”

“Give me your phone and let me block them,” Yoongi’s voice left no room for argument, and had Namjoon been in his right mind he would have noticed the light smirk on the alpha’s face. He was clearly getting what he wanted, even if the taller male didn’t notice it. He just grabbed his phone from his pocket handing it over to Yoongi.

Yoongi went through his phone systematically deleting and blocking first every member of Got7, then deleting all conversation and call logs so Namjoon couldn’t track them down even if he wanted to. Yoongi then went into Namjoon’s gallery just doing a full delete of the entire gallery, deleting every sign of Got7 on his phone.

He wasn’t done tho, he started deleting and blocking a few other of Namjoon’s friends, this included Zico and every member of his old crew. First when Yoongi was sure that no trace of anything was left on the phone, and that he had blocked every option that they had of contacting Namjoon did he give back to phone to him. “See it’s going to be fine, we won’t let them use you anymore, we protect you.”

Yeah… His pack had his back right? He knew that he could trust Yoongi, Yoongi was his pack alpha he just wanted to best from Namjoon. Namjoon needed protection, he clearly let other people play him to easy, why had he trusted Got7! Why had he been such an attention whore! They were probably laughing at him back in the dorms, laughing at the stupid dud that thought they cared! “Thank you Yoongi, I will do better.”

Yoongi patted him on the head “I know you will, you don’t want to disappoint us.”

Namjoon was lucky that he had a pack that cared about him this much, he knew that Yoongi and the other didn’t have to care, he was just a dud after all. But they cared! They had his pack, he wasn’t going to disappoint them again! He would be better now, he would.

His heart ached when he saw Yoongi leave him alone in the hallway, clearly aiming for the nest that he was banned from, he remembered how Jackson and BamBam had wrapped around him keeping him safe. No he had to shake it from his head, he was a dud! He didn’t need it! He didn’t deserve it, they had played him, they didn’t care!

Problem was he could still smell them over him, specially Mark’s sweet vanilla scent from where he had scent marked him, and Jackson’s herbal scent from where he had been in almost constant physical contact with Namjoon while he had been there. Where Jackson had kept the voices away with his meer present, the voices was back now, but it was okay. They were his constant companion, and they weren’t really that bad, they were just telling him the truth. 

When they weren’t there he got deceived, most importantly by himself, he needed them there to remember what he really was, how disgusting he was for being so selfish and for being such an attention whore.

He needed the scent’s off him now! He felt like he was betraying his pack for even carrying other people’s scent’s like this. He scrubbed his skin red in the shower but still didn’t stop, tears running down his face, why wouldn’t it get off! He couldn’t have it like this, he was wrong! Why was his skin trying to absorb the scent like this, only omega’s should be like this. Omega’s were designed to absorb other people’s scent, while their own scent was working and strong, omega’s were calmed by people they trusted scent, it helped regulate their hormones. Beta’s and alpha’s could easily wash scent of their bodies since it was like a thin layer on top of it, he should be able to! He should be able to wash it off, but no matter how he tried to scent wouldn’t get off.

He collapsed against the wall in the shower, hugging his knees to his chest, the to warm water running over him almost scolding his already sensitive skin from all the scrubbing, he couldn’t even present right! And now he couldn’t be a fucking dud right! He couldn’t do anything right, he was a failure. He couldn’t keep in the tears anymore, this was all too much. He tried so hard to be the best he could, he tried to be the best he could but it was never fucking enough!

Why was he such a fuck up? Why couldn’t he be anything right, he raked his nails up his upper arms trying to center himself. He couldn’t breath, it was all too much. And then it happened, he dug in his nails a little bit too hard ending up drawing blood, he let out a low gasp as the pain coursed through him. But the pain allowed him to focus, even if it was only for a short while. He picked in the wound a little, the pain allowing him to be able to focus he could breath again.

Never before did he understand why people self harm, was this why they did it? It allowed them to focus, it cleared their mind. He could understand now, when the panic in his mind was becoming numbing and he couldn’t fight his way through it, would this help? Somewhere in his mind he knew this wasn’t right, he knew that self harming wasn’t the right thing to do. But this way he could fight the panic attacks without needed the rest of the guys, he didn’t have to bother them any! This way he was less of a burden, this way he could handle this himself.

Namjoon at that point didn’t realize just how bad this was, he was so proud that he had actually found a way to deal with this, he wasn’t going to disappoint anybody anymore, he would be the best leader of any group! He ignored the empty feeling in his chest, he ignored the pain. As he finished up his shower, he hunted down the scent neutralizing spray that Jin used on the furniture when he cleaned it.

He looked at the spray in his hand, it had a giant mark showing that it wasn’t to use on humans. Was he really going to do this? Normally Jin made sure they were all out of the house when he used it, and he only used it while wearing a glove and mask. It could and would really hurt the skin, but luckily it didn’t leave any marks.

Would it remove the Got7 scent from him? Might even dull his even scent a bit? It was worth a try wasn’t it, even if it didn’t work as he wanted it to. He could do this for his pack, he had been selfish long enough. As long as it didn’t leave physical marks on him, he might not be the best looking member of Bts, but he still needed his face and body to look good. He wouldn’t destroy their chance of becoming one of the biggest kpop acts.

He clenched his eyes tight and sprayed it on his arm, the pain was much worse than he had ever expected it, he wanted to stop, the skin on his arm was feeling like it might fall off. Tears was starting to roll down his cheeks again, and he bit his lip so hard that it started bleeding just to keep the screams of pain in. He wanted to stop! But he knew he couldn’t he needed to do this! For his pack!

When he finished the first arm he was almost heaving for breath, this hurt more than anything he had ever experienced, but he couldn’t stop. He had to do this! He imagined Yoongi’s proud smile when he smelled that the Got7 smells were no longer on him! He didn’t need to tell the pack alpha what extremes he had to go to to get it off, he just needed the alpha to know he would do anything! ANYTHING! To fit in with his pack.

The next arm didn’t hurt any less, Namjoon would almost say that it actually hurt more. His face was wet with the spilt tears that was slowly dropping to the floor, but he ignored it! This was for his pack! What if this made his scent a little less prominent! He imagined Jungkook not fleeing any room he was in! It was worth it! He wanted to scream from the pain, it felt like he was peeling of his skin with a knife, but he couldn’t scream, he would wake up his pack member! He could imagine Jin waking and searching for the source of the sound, what if he got to close to Namjoon and some of the spray getting on the motherly beta.

No he couldn’t risk it, he needed to keep the sound in! He couldn’t hurt any of them like that. As he finished his hand off, the pain worse than anything duo to the sensitive joints there, he imagined the one waking being Taehyung instead, the beta was way to curious, he to would go on a search for the sounds. Namjoon could imagine Taehyung hoping (and believing) that it might be aliens. He would sneak up on Namjoon before the older would even notice it, causing Namjoon to accidently spray him, Taehyung would be a crying mess on the floor. The beta never really handled pain that well, Namjoon didn’t want to hurt anybody, and Yoongi would be so disappointed in him.

The fear of accidentally hurting a pack member was what kept him from crying out from the mind numbing pain. It was time for what Namjoon knew would hurt the most, the course of all the vanilla scent. The scent mark on his neck, with one hand covering his mouth and nose, he bit into his own pinky… and then spray.

Had it not been because he had stuffed his finger in his own mouth he would have screamed in pain, it was worse than anything he could have prepared himself for, if his arms had felt like peeling of the skin with a hot knife, this felt like he was getting burned alive. Even as he dropped the can, his hand spasming from the pain, the pain didn’t stop, instead it spread, it was like the spray was actively seeking out both his own and the foreign scent that was buried in his skin, digging into his skin like it was needles and then removing it.

Namjoon knew now that it worked, he knew that pain was worth it. He imagined finally being able to give Jimin a hug without the omega pushing him away, he would be able to get hugs maybe! Even if he didn’t get all the scent away the first time, he could keep doing this, he wouldn’t be a burden anymore!

He collapsed on the ground as the pain finally stopped, his legs shaking to badly to be able to keep him up anymore. He tried to smell himself or anybody else on him, but he couldn’t! While yes his own scent was still mildly present, but it wasn’t nearly as of offensive as before, it was much better. As he laid on the floor trying to catch his breath he tried to imagine Hoseok, the older dancer had been the most calm towards Namjoon out of any of the alphas. He was the calm sensible alpha to Yoongi’s more fiery and angry passion.

Hoseok would like him better like this wouldn’t he? Yeah Namjoon was sure, he liked himself better like this! Maybe they could finally touch him again, the pain would be worth it even if it was just a little touch he would get from them. And with his scent like this Jin had much less work cleaning of the scent after him, yeah this was the right thing to do!

The voices was telling him that he was still a burden, still useless. Which kind of leader needed other people to clean up after him? Which kind of leader was a needy little bitch who needed other people to touch him? It was adorable when Jimin or BamBam would pout at a pack member signalling without using words that it was time for somebody to pay them attention, all of the pack would almost fall over themselves trying to get to the omega.

It was just weird when Namjoon was like that, he was way to fucking tall to be cute like those two. They were just pretty, soft and adorable. Namjoon was just weirdly tall, and he wasn’t build like Jimin or slim like BamBam he was just all wrong.

He hid away the spray can in his room before going to bed, he ignored the empty feeling he had going to bed without anybody else's scent on him, he didn’t need it. He was a dud, he needed to stop acting like an omega!

It was much much harder to fall asleep than it normally was, no matter how tired physically and emotionally Namjoon was, but somehow he managed to get some sleep in the end. His arms and neck hurt even more when he woke up, he looked himself in the mirror Mark’s hickey was still clear on his neck, but his scent was gone and Namjoon’s scent was very weak.

He grabbed a black turtleneck to put on, black was slimming right? Maybe nobody would notice he wasn’t thin enough then. He wasn’t really happy with his appearance when he looked it the mirror, he rarely was now a day, he couldn’t do much about the pastel purple mess on top of his head he called hair, it would have to work for today he couldn’t do anything about it.

At first Namjoon was worried he hadn’t done the right thing, but when he entered the kitchen the rest of Bts was already there, all turning to look at him, at first nobody said anything until Jimin exclaimed “Oh Joonie, you smell much weaker than normal!” For any other person that would have been an insult, but Jimin’s smile was wide and happy, he clearly approved.  
  
Namjoon seeked out Yoongi on the other side of the kitchen with his eyes, the shorter alpha was leaning against the counter, as their eyes meet it was clearly Yoongi knew what he had done, but he gave a short approving nod at Namjoon, showing he had done the right thing. Yeah… The pain was worth it for his pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is an manipulative little pack alpha, aawwww you are *Pat's Yoongi on the head*
> 
> Storyline is starting to pick up!! And the spiral is starting!
> 
> And since you guys how been open towards the idea of some oneshots following the story, which kind would you guys want to see, only thing not able is Luhan/Tao/Kris after they left, and Exo after they left.... since this will reveal a major plot point I am saving until later!
> 
> (still nobody has guessed why Lu Han left... I am surprised! :O)


	7. A different perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big shoutout to ZanyaDawn who beta read this chapter for me!

The next month went almost without anything happening, the negative voices were  getting worse but he could handle them. He would handle them, he would not  be a burden anymore. He still used the spray almost everyday before bed the pain  somehow lessening  until the only negative part of it being that he sometimes had a hard time feeling anything on the area  he used to spray on directly, but it was a very small price to pay for his pack not running away from him  each time they smelled him.

He had even managed a full conversation with Jungkook that wasn’t  about work, which  marked the first time that had happened since Jungkook’s presentation. Namjoon had also found a perfect way of getting out of meals. Normally Jin would be cooking for them early, fitting in all of their diets making sure  they all were eating right. Even after he got kicked out of the nest Jin had still done it even for him, but now if Namjoon leaves  for the studio before Jin got up, the older didn’t try to hunt him down with food; assuming that Namjoon had gotten food himself.

His weight was finally starting to drop, and each time he weighed himself he couldn’t stop from smiling seeing the numbers slowly going lower and lower. He would end up being as pretty as the rest of them. Overall it was all going very well for Namjoon he thought, if he just lost a little more weight, if he just worked a little bit harder they wouldn’t kick him out.

They were working on their new album which meant that Namjoon spent almost all of his time in the studio writing, mixing, and producing with either Yoongi, Slow rabbit, or whoever ended up being there. Yoongi had started spending less and less time in the same studio as Namjoon, but it was okay because things were getting better he knew it! Now Yoongi would sometimes pat him on the head, Namjoon lived for those small moments of contact between them, this was sign that Yoongi cared right? 

Namjoon wasn’t sure how long time he had been sitting working over the track he was working on. Since they had gotten the clear to all have their own tracks on the albums he knew that he wanted his track to be something special, but it came out way too depressing each  time! He wasn’t depressed, why couldn’t he write anything even mildly happy? Out of  frustration he threw the notebook he had been working on at the door, which cause nothing ever went Namjoon’s way, opened and instead of a the solid door he hit none other than Bang PD-nim himself right in the face.

The CEO looked more confused than anything. “I can come again later if this is a bad time?”

Namjoon flushed red, “I’m sorry!” He quickly exclaimed, getting up to get the book now laying on the ground, “I’m just struggling with some lyrics, and I got mad.”

Bang PD just smiled lightly at the flushed rapper, he always had a soft spot for Namjoon, the slightly clumsy guy was one of the main reason BTS even came to exist “Can I see? Maybe I can help?”

The younger shook his head in an almost desperate manner “It’s not very good, really not worth looking at!”

“I have a hard time believing  anything you write can be that bad, let’s see if we can save it?” He knew that Namjoon was always too  hard on himself, especially  when the older he became  the more insecure he grew in his own skills. 

Namjoon couldn’t really deny Bang PD anything, he owed his entire career to him so he just handed  the man his notebook with slightly shaking hands. “It’s on the last page, it can’t really be saved sorry.”

He couldn’t really stand the idea that he had or would disappoint the man who had put so much trust in him. As silenced stretched between them Namjoon became more and more worried as Bang PD read over the finished song not once but twice, “Namjoon this is…”

He never really got to finish the sentence before Namjoon interrupted “I know, I don’t know why I can’t write anything less depressing, nobody how many times I write this it just becomes so... sad.”

“Your song doesn’t have to be happy, this is really good.” He looked at Namjoon, the younger was refusing to meet his eyes staring at the floor while he was nervously wringing his hands. “Namjoon are you okay?”

That got a reaction out of him “Yes! Of course, why wouldn’t I be okay? Thing are great! People are really liking our music, and the pack is great!”

He noticed how Namjoon called it ‘the pack’ instead of ‘our pack’, like he didn’t really see himself as a part of the pack. When he was younger, one of his pack members had a sister who was a dud, Bang PD himself had never gotten to meet her, but the way his friend and pack member had talked about her made him sympathetic to Namjoon. He remembered how his friend had talked about how useless he had felt, how nobody would take his sister serious or  even consider her for anything. This was one of the reason’s he had a soft spot for the rapper. Namjoon was very talented, he didn’t want him to lose his chance of a future because of a stupid thing like sub-gender.

He always tried to stay out of BTS’s pack dynamics, by law he had to. No company could interfere with a pack, but he still wished that Namjoon would go and see a doctor so he could get a formal diagnoses, even if his scent left only dud as an option he would feel a lot better if a piece of paper had the fact that Namjoon was a dud clearly stated on it. He had once made  the mistake of trying  force Namjoon to see a doctor, but the thought itself had stressed the younger so much he had gotten a panic attack; so unless Namjoon showed major problems he would follow the rapper's own wants. “I think this should be your song for the album.”

“Really?” Namjoon looked shocked that Bang PD would even consider it.

“It’s a good song, it still needs some work yes, but I think it would go very well with your fans and I think this is something you need out.” If Namjoon wouldn’t see a doctor, this might be a healthy way for him to get out his issues.

The younger rapper looked like he thought it over for a second “Yeah… I can do that, it can work?”

“Yes, are you sure that everything is okay? I know you don’t want to see a psychiatrist but I am here to talk if you want.” He knew something was up with Namjoon, but he also knew that he couldn’t force him to talk if he didn’t want to.

Namjoon just shook his head “I am fine I really am! I am just a little bit stressed with the new album coming out and stuff like that! Everything will be back to normal soon.” Bang PD could hear the fake cheer in Namjoon’s voice, but for now he didn’t call him out on it, though he mentally wrote down to make sure and keep on it later.

“Have they put you on a new diet? You look thinner than normal?” Actually, he looked a lot thinner than normal He hated how they were all forced to diet too hard. Sadly there was nothing he could do about it, but this was a little too far wasn’t it?

Again Namjoon shook his head “No it’s the same as always, I have just been a little busy lately.” Namjoon knew that he shouldn’t lie to Bang PD, but he couldn’t stop himself. He was so used to the lie now that it flew out of his mouth without a second thought.

“Make sure you eat more, I feel hungry just looking at you.” Both of them tried a friendly laugh, even if it was for two very different reasons. “I am going to leave you to it then, remember that you can always come to me if you need anything Namjoon… Anything, my doors are always open for you.”

Bang PD’s next stop was the vocal training room. He needed some kind of answer or at least some peace of mind and hopefully Seokjin could give that to him. He was lucky that practice seemed to have just ended when he entered the room. Seokjin was packing up his things, everybody else having left already. “Bang PD-nim? Is there an issue?”

He always liked the oldest beta, he was calm and down to earth, exactly what BTS needed. “No everything is fine, I just wanted to ask a few questions.”

“I will try to answer them the best I can.” Out of all of them Seokjin was the one least calm next to Bang PD, he had never gotten used to how casual the rest of them were around their CEO.

“I am sure you will,” he sat down and signaled for Seokjin to take the seat across from him, “so how is the pack? I don’t get to hear much from you guys anymore so I am curious.”

Seokjin seemed to think about the question for a second before slowly answering “We are fine, Jungkook is slowly getting used to being an alpha, it is taking him a little bit longer than normal, but we are getting there. Taehyung is much happier now that he has accepted he is an beta and it’s okay we love him as we are. Both Jimin and Hoseok spends most of their time in the practice room rehearsing for our comeback but both of them seem very happy with it. Yoongi has more or less locked himself away in the studio, but we make sure that he eats and sleeps, so overall… We are happy and content.” Bang PD noticed how Seokjin talked about all the members, other than Namjoon which concerned him.

“What about Namjoon?” he couldn’t stop himself from answering.

Again Seokjin seemed to hesitate before answering “He is fine as well, he’s in the studio most of the time, but Yoongi says he is fine so I trust that.”

There was another problem. There was no arguing that Yoongi was a very talented rapper and performer, but Bang PD still found himself wishing that the pack had chosen Hoseok as pack alpha instead. Bang PD knew about Yoongi’s past and he couldn’t find it in him to completely trust Yoongi with the day to day life of the pack, or with Namjoon’s dud status.

“How is Yoongi as a pack alpha, if you don’t mind me asking? For me it would seem more logical that you guys picked Hoseok.” He knew he was getting close to the line here, the law stated that no company or employer could question or change anything about a pack he or she wasn’t part of.

The beta seemed to notice that as well, his eyes become a little bit more guarded “Hoseok isn’t really much of a leader, don’t get me wrong Hobi is great, but Yoongi knows how to control the pack. He can get the maknaes to listen and both Hosoek and I respect him. Yoongi is a good leader, and makes sure we are all happy.”

Again he didn’t even mention Namjoon, Bang PD knew that it was different to have a dud in the pack since they prefered to stay alone, but the way Seokjin seemed to keep leaving Namjoon out without even noticing it showed a very sad pattern, “I trust your guys choice, I was just curious. I will leave you to it.” With that he took his leave, not at all more calmed than when he first came to talk to him.

Across town another pairing was worried about Namjoon as well, this one a little different. Jackson wasn’t even sure what show they were on, he was so tired and worried about everything. Mark spent much more time with Exo now than he did with them, and would have been easier if Mark had at least looked more happy; but every time he came home from spending time with them it looked like he had just eaten a lemon. hen there was Namjoon… Jackson had gotten used to sending the male pictures of everything he did, but now his text’s came back with a failed to deliver, and it was the same for the rest of the group!

He didn’t know what had happened, when Namjoon left they seemed like they had finally made some kind of progress. It had come to the point that him and Jaebum had actually sat the rest of Got7 down to talk about adding Namjoon to the pack, which had gotten a surprisingly good result from all other than BamBam who had complained that they should have asked him while he was there so he didn’t have to come home. Jackson knew that bringing Namjoon into their pack wouldn’t be easy, but they were all willing to try their hardest!

And then nothing, just silence from Namjoon! None of them could contact him, and he didn’t contact any of them. It was hitting BamBam the hardest out of all of them, which surprised Jackson, but it turned out that Namjoon was the one that helped BamBam when he was struggling with Mark and Exo. Now it left BamBam to almost growl at Baekhyun when they ran into each other, that had not been pretty. The other omega had looked almost scared as the shorter looked like he was going to eat him.

The only choice they had was to actually call Yoongi and talk to him, which they would have had to do anyway since he is Namjoon’s pack alpha… The call hadn’t gone well.

Jaebum had been respectful  to the short alpha first, just asking to talk to Namjoon, but Yoongi had icecold said that it wasn’t going to happen, that Namjoon had asked for them to be kept away from him, saying that he wasn’t comfortable with Got7 being this close to him. Jackson wanted to call bullshit on it, he knew Namjoon! Namjoon was to fucking pure to just drop all contact without saying anything! He knew Yoongi was up to something, but he couldn’t prove it!

He always had a distrust for the BTS pack alpha, they didn’t see eye to eye, but more importantly he knew way too much about how he lead to BTS pack to trust him on this, problems was he couldn’t prove anything. He knew Namjoon had his number memorized so if the dud rapper really wanted to talk to him, Yoongi couldn’t stop him, but no call came to him… Or any other member.

They were stuck in this weird fucking limbo where they didn’t know what to do! Jackson felt so fucking useless, and everytime he tried to sleep he imagined the worst things possible. Did anybody look after Namjoon and made sure that he eat enough? Did anybody make sure that he wasn’t getting lost in his own mind? The problem was that he knew the answer to these question, and the answer was no.

In frustration Jackson hit his head on the table in front of him with a loud unpleased sigh “I’m pretty sure that table hasn’t done anything to deserve this treatment Jackson.”

Sitting in a chair on the other side of the table was Zico, the beta had somehow managed to take a seat and throw his feet up on the table without Jackson even noticing “Fuck the table.” 

“Now that’s a little bit rude, what the issue? Is it still Mark?” Zico and Jackson were… friends? Jackson wasn’t sure if he would go that far, but they knew each other and had talked before. And like the rest of the kpop industry Zico of course knew about Mark being courted by Exo.

To be honest Jackson mainly knew him through Namjoon, wait a second… “NAMJOON!”

“Oh wow you are really messed up aren’t you, no I’m Jiho, I’m the one with the less stupid Rap Name.” Actually he had a point with that, Jackson did feel messed up.

“I know who you are? How you talked to Namjoon in the last month?! This is important!” Were they the only people that Namjoon was ignoring?

He seemed to think for a second before he slowly answered “Now that you mentioned it, my texts haven’t been delivered, I just assumed that he had gotten a new phone and forgot to tell me the number, is that not the case?”

“Unless he forgot to tell our entire group, and half of exo his new number, no I don’t think so.” Jackson could feel the anger gather up inside him. This wasn’t fucking normal!

Zico seemed to have understood just how serious this was “You don’t think that Yoongi...?”

“Oh that is exactly what I am thinking, at this point I could be convinced that he kills children for sports… Did you know that their maknae gave Joonie an alpha order?”

“You are kidding me right? Even they know better than that, you don’t even fucking give alpha orders to fucking pets… Let alone to a fucking person! What are they thinking!?”

Jackson was slightly taken aback by the anger coming from the beta, that was until he remembered that Zico had known Namjoon way longer than he had, “Namjoon has been spending time with us lately, his mental state is… It’s not fucking good, and if he can’t contact anybody… What could happen to him? I’m fucking afraid.” 

Zico seemed to finally understand just how bad this was, “How do we get in contact with him, how you tried talking to Yoongi? This might just be a misunderstanding”

“We tried fucking everything, I don’t know what to do anymore, Jinyoung and Jaebum even went to their dorms but they never got to see him.” Jackson knocked his head into the table again “I feel so fucking helpless.”

“You guys really care for him don’t you?” Jackson just nodded head still resting on the table.

“We wanted to take him into our pack, but all of this.. It’s so fucking stupid! BTS  doesn’t even care, but they still keep onto him with nails and claws.”

Zico sighed “I thought about the same thing, we all care for Namjoon deeply, but we have to many beta’s to make it work. I wanted to offer him a spot when we got put together… Then I saw he got put together with BTS and I thought it would all have worked out, of course it doesn’t,  because nothing works out ever.”

Jackson now glared at the rapper, he didn’t like Zico’s comment on how they originally wanted Namjoon in their pack, that made Zico competition in some far back part of his brain, “Calm down Jackson, had Namjoon been an omega… heck even an alpha it would be different, but as dud he would work like a beta… and we simply just have to many, it would create an off balance, hurting everybody too much, also shouldn’t we focus on maybe trying to figure something out.“

“Text everybody you know who also knows Namjoon, see if anybody isn’t blocked … I will do the same, we will talk in a few days and see if something has came up.”

Zico nodded “We are going to figure this out Jackson, a lot of people care for him, and even more people respect him… Nothing is going to happen to him.” God Jackson hoped he was right, if anybody touched a single pastel purple hair on the stupidly tall rapper he might actually kill them.

What neither Zico nor Jackson knew was that a certain Got7 packless omega was not happy waiting, drunk out of his mind Mark Tuan was knocking relentlessly on the BTS dorm… Was he about to walk into the lion’s den? Or was he about to take over the lion’s den?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is less sad right guys!? Also plot is rolling! Next chapter will be a lot of explantion, a little bit of justice. And finally the story of why Lu Han left Exo!
> 
> Also I have started my first oneshot, its SHINee cause I'm biased af... but it's cute and nice and about how a real pack supports each other... And then the follow up is Taemin's first heat... Cause I'm biased.
> 
> and then I have one planned called: The day Omega Ravi decided he should be pack alpha!
> 
> Also starting to see different different packs! And nothing really bad happened this chapter!


	8. Drunk Mark to the rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys ready for some actual explanations! And the real reason that SM might actually be the devil?

Mark was drunk… He couldn’t argue with that. He would say though, that he was drunk for a reason. He was angry, heartbroken, depressed and sad. The reason for all 4 of those were different, he was angry because he just knew that this had something do with fucking BTS no matter how much everybody said that he was just holding a grudge. He was heartbroken because Lu Han really deserved fucking better! He was depressed because he now didn’t know where he fit in at all what he thought was going to work, and it just blew up in his head. And he was sad, because he knew that something was up with Namjoon. He knew that somebody was pulling the strings!

He had seen pictures of Namjoon today entering the BigHit building, and the younger rapper had lost even more weight; even fully dressed Mark could see that, did nobody watch him!? Mark knew that idol life could be hard, he knew they all had crazy weight goals they needed to meet, but two things about that; Namjoon was already skinny, and had gone from skinny to unhealthy! God he was angry! And Namjoon HAD FUCKING BLOCKED HIS NUMBER!?

What was he suppose to do now?! He emptied another soju bottle and slammed it into the table in front of him, he was in some weird hole-in-the wall bar where nobody recognized him. Then again, everybody here was more or less 30 years older than him and didn’t give a fuck about him. Clearly this was where people came to drown they their issues in soju, which was just what he was going for.

He stared frustrated at his phone, on it where texts from both Kyungsoo and Yixing, both betas seeming very worried about him. Then again he did leave after they told their story without a  word. It wasn’t their fault it really wasn’t and Mark understood he really did, but it felt like rejection. It felt like knowing he would never really be accepted. He knew that wasn’t what they meant for, he knew that they were sincere when they started to court him, they still were sincere!

GODDAMN IT! He just wanted to talk with Namjoon about. He couldn’t go to his own group and talk to them, they were to involved in this. And yeah he could call his parent’s pack. He knew that they would just use it in their list of ‘20 Reasons Why Mark Should Have Stayed in the US, and Never Become a Kpop Idol’. Oh, and he had no idea what time it was in the US. Namjoon knew everything that had gone on! And he understood Mark, he understood why this was so important to him, he understood why he couldn’t just join a pack without trying out his other options.

With angry movements he thumbed out another, probably sad and pathetic message to the BTS leader, just for it once again to pop up with a failed to deliver sign. This wasn’t fucking fair, the world wasn’t fair! That was when he came to a conclusion; if Namjoon wouldn’t come to him he would come to Namjoon! He was pretty sure he could still remember where the BTS dorm was.

Was this generally a good idea, probably not, but it didn’t stop Mark from going. He had no idea how long it took him to find the stupid dorm, mostly because he was still drunk out of his skull. Had he been in his right mind he would have realized just how easy it was for him to get noticed, pictures of him being drunk was probably not a good image for Got7, but for now Mark had more important things to attend to!

He stumbled his way to the door and none to gently banged the door. “I KNOW YOU FUCKERS ARE IN THERE! LET ME IN!”

The door was opened and a slightly terrified Taehyung stared at Mark. “Mark-hyung what are you doing here?”

Mark just pushed past Taehyung, “I am looking for either your shitty pack alpha, your shitty baby alpha or MY Namjoon!”

Taehyung didn’t even know how to answer the Got7 omega, he was clearly drunk and not aware of what he was saying, what did Mark even want from them. Luckily for him Jungkook decided to join him in the hall. The maknae line and Namjoon were currently the only ones home. “Mark-hyung you are drunk you should go home.”

“There you are, you useless little fuck!” More than one thing happened at the same time. Jimin joined them in the hallway curious about all the noise. Taehyung pulled himself away from the older omega and young alpha and Mark grabbed Jungkook by the collar pushing him up against the wall where Jungkook just froze.

The alpha’s instincts were at war, the aggressive side of his instincts wanted him to show Mark where his place was, the other side couldn’t accept that an omega was pushing him around! The more rational part of his brain told him never to hurt an omega, it was wrong. So he just did nothing, and tried to calm down the aggravated omega. “Hyung you are drunk.”

“Yup!” Mark said in a way to cheery voice “And you are probably the worst alpha to have ever joined a pack, are we done stating the facts now? I would like to spend as little as possible time with your shitty face.”

Now it was Jimin’s turn to interrupt, he didn’t like how Mark was talking to his baby-alpha “You can’t say that! You don’t know what happens in our pack, it’s none of your business!”

“See, I in general have nothing against you. Hoseok and you seem to be the least terrible people in this pack, but you are so fucking naive it’s insane! You blindly believe what they tell you and don’t even try to think for yourself!” Mark didn’t even look at Jimin he just kept staring hard at Jungkook, who suddenly felt like he was no longer the predator in the room.

He tried to free himself, but Mark was a lot stronger than he looked (plus adrenaline) “Leave Jimin out of this, you clearly have some mental issue with me not him.”

“You are the one with a fucking mental issue!” This time it was yelled instead of spoken like a threat. “How would you like it if Jaebum or Jackson alpha ordered Jimin?” Mark sneered at Jungkook.

Every BTS member in the room froze completely, Jimin in almost fear of what Mark said looking over his shoulder like he expected one of the alpha’s to show up.Taehyung tightened his grip on Jimin’s hand pulling the smaller omega to him suddenly feeling like he needed to protect him. Jungkook went rigid in Mark’s hold “You wouldn’t do that.” he whispered.

The idea of their Jimin having his control taken from him by somebody else scared him, he felt how Mark’s tight grip on his collar his was slowly starting to cut off Jungkook’s airway. He was pulled closer to the omega so Mark could whisper in his ear “Don’t worry, my alphas are real alphas… They would never order anybody around, they are men not kids.”

Jungkook suddenly knew what this was about… Namjoon.  “That wasn’t the same! You can’t threaten Jimin like that because I accidentally ordered Namjoon! It was an accident, and Jimin is an omega Namjoon is a dud! It’s not the fucking same and you know it!”

How dare Mark compare the two? They were two very very different things, and it wasn’t like Namjoon cared right? “You are such a fucking shit head!”

Yeah, that really hadn’t seemed to calm down the drunk omega. “This is all of you guys fucking problem! You think Namjoon is worth less than Jimin just cause he is a dud! It’s fucking disgusting!”

“Jimin is an omega! It’s our job to take care of him!” Jungkook argued, looking over at where Jimin was hiding in Taehyung’s embrace, the scent of aggressive Vanilla was getting attacked by equally aggressive peppermint.

“Jimin is a fucking adult! It doesn’t matter what sub-gender he is! He isn’t a fucking baby! But that isn’t the issue right now, you all treat like Namjoon like he isn’t really part of this fucking pack!”

“HE IS A DUD, HE ISN’T REALLY PART OF IT! AND HE DOESN’T CARE!” With that Mark released Jungkook to follow up with a straight right hook to Jungkook’s face sending the young alpha in the floor… Oh turned out Mark should actually thank Jackson for teaching him to defend himself, although it probably wasn’t how he was meant to use it…. Well he was sure that Jackson would approve.

Mark calmly turned to the other two BTS members. “Which one of you fuck heads is going to show me where Namjoon are? Do I need to rip this entire place apart to find him?”

Taehyung pointed towards a door down the hall with half shaking hands, and Jimin was already on the ground next to Jungkook checking on the young alpha.

“Good puppy.” Mark praised patting Taehyung drunkenly on the top of his head, making his way towards the door.

The door luckily was not locked, and as Mark entered he saw Namjoon sleeping in his bed. Mark couldn’t stop himself from grinning, it was adorable how he could sleep through all that. Now to barricade himself in the room, he wasn’t really sure he could take on Jungkook without the advantage of surprise on his side. Mark somehow managed to lock the door and push 2 pieces of furniture in front of it, making sure that nobody could interrupt them.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from snapping a picture of Namjoon sleeping calmly no matter how much noise he was making. He forwarded the picture to all of Got7 before putting his phone on mute to make sure he wasn’t disturbed. Now to wake him up! Problem was that Mark is still pretty drunk, and logical thinking was not his brightest point right now. So his drunken logic was to wake Namjoon by poking his cheek where he knew his dimple would show if he was smiling “Nammieeeeeee… Wake up… Naaaaaaaammiiiiieee!”

That seemed to do the job, and Mark almost squealed as Namjoon yawned and rubbed his eyes sitting up, Namjoon was so cute! “Mark what are you doing here?”

“I have been looking for you, why did you block me?!”

Only then did Namjoon really realize Mark was in his room and not just in his dream, “Mark you can’t be here!” Oh god, what if the rest of the pack saw him, what if Yoongi saw him here! He was trying to prove that he was good enough for his pack, and Mark wasn’t helping right now!

What could Mark even need from him? He had so many other people he could go to, he didn’t really care about Namjoon, Namjoon knew that now. Mark had taken a spot on the other side of Namjoon’s bed, looking confused at the rapper “Why can’t I be here? We are friends?”

“Yoongi is going to get mad at me!” Namjoon couldn’t stop his voice from raising, he didn’t want to get kicked out!

Mark’s drunk mind didn’t realize what Namjoon was really saying, just that he was yelling at him “Why are you yelling at me…” Tears started to gather in his eyes.

No, No! Mark couldn’t cry, Mark should never be sad. All of Namjoon former anger disappeared from him when he saw Mark’s expression. “Mark please don’t cry!” he tried to calm him.

“Why are you mad at me… Do you hate me now Nammie?” Tears was now running down his face.

That was all it took for Namjoon to almost attack the omega in a hug, cuddling him to his chest. He knew that he was betraying his pack, but he couldn’t just let Mark cry. Mark was precious, that was when he smelled it… Soju? Yeah that was soju mixed with Mark’s natural vanilla scent. Oh that was why Mark sought him out, he didn’t really want to talk to Namjoon, he was just drunk and didn’t know where else to go.

“Mark why have you been drinking? This is your date night with Exo, did something go wrong?” He knew he shouldn’t care, Got7 had just used him because he was easy, but he couldn’t stop himself from caring. This was Mark after all.

That was when the floodgates really opened and Mark was now desperately sobbing into his shoulder “They will never accept me!” he wailed.

This made no sense to the rapper, Exo had come to Mark not the other way around! “I’m sure that’s wrong, they want you. They came for you!”

“Yeah some of them did! But Minseok and Sehun are never going to accept me! They can’t even pretend to like me! And I can understand why! I wouldn’t like another fucking omega if I had gone through that, they are trying so hard to be strong for their pack, but they are both so fucking broken!” Mark was desperately clinging to Namjoon now.

Namjoon just caressed his hair trying to get him to calm down. “Do you wanna tell me what happened?” He knew Mark, he would keep it all inside until it exploded, he needed to help Mark get it out.

The omega had finally stopped crying, but he was still sobbing, “Can we cuddle?”

The dud knew that he should say no, he knew that cuddling and getting Mark’s scent all over him would make it worse later, but even if Mark didn’t care about him he couldn’t just leave the omega like this, “Big or little spoon?” he just asked instead.

“Big” Mark sniffled, before pushing Namjoon into the position that he wanted him in and then cuddling up behind him, trying to cover the taller with his smaller body. Like always his hands found its way into Namjoon’s shirt running the tips over his ribs getting his hands familiar with Namjoon’s thinner upper body.  

“What happened Mark? This isn’t like you.”

He could hear Mark sniffle again “It’s about Lu Han” Namjoon had guessed as much with the way the chinese omega had left exo, it was suspicious at best, “You know what Sekacod is  right?”

Namjoon nodded “It’s the contraceptive for male omegas right? I know Jimin uses it? Both you and BamBam uses it as well?”

“99.5% of all male omega’s use it, it has almost no side effects and doesn’t mess with out hormones and it has no known case of failing to prevent pregnancies.” Mark sniffled again “SM swapped Lu Han to Lilifan instead, they weren’t happy with him. They said he was to aggressive and not soft enough for an omega, Lilifan changes his hormones. It forces his body to produce more submissive pheromones and hormones.”

Namjoon went rigid in Mark’s arm, what SM did was illegal Namjoon knew that, companies were not suppose to mess with people’s hormones or their contraceptives. “They can’t do that… That’s not legal.” Why would they even try to change Lu Han? Namjoon always liked Lu Han, he had delivered Tao to their dorm more than once. He had a vivid memory of Hoseok looking over Tao an extra long time when he came to spend time with Jimin. Namjoon knew Hoseok never meant anything by it, he just got his attention taken by the Lily of the Valley scent Tao carried with him. Lu Han had not accepted it though, he had pointed at Hoseok, “You are coming with me! I am not leaving him here with you, come along knot head.” Lu Han had said it like it was nothing, like he hadn’t just stood up and insulted an alpha from another pack. Hoseok the stand up guy he was had just gone with Lu Han with a smile on his face.

Yeah they had all liked Lu Han. Mark tightened his grip on Namjoon “I know it isn’t… And that isn’t even the worst part, Lilifan is less effective, it has a chance of failing as a contraceptive.” Oh no. Namjoon wanted Mark to shut up, he didn’t want to know how it ended! He knew where this was going, but Mark continued his story “He spent his heat with Sehun and Minseok, and after that… He was pregnant. Being Lu Han he wasn’t overjoyed about it, and a little bit worried with their comeback coming up. He thought it would be okay, by law SM is supposed to support him… Nammie they… They wanted to force him to have an abortion.”

Now it was Namjoon’s turn to be crying, he knew how much pregnancies and babies meant to pack, but especially to omega’s. Abortions were only really used if the baby had a defect, or the omega had been raped, they were never used on pack babies! Everybody was way to possessive about it. It could lead to major mental issues for the omega in question, some even killed themselves, their mind unable to accept what had happened.

“Their contracts are different than our, I always knew that SM was the devil, but it is so much worse than we thought. They sign kids, very young kids. Force them to sign these...long long contracts, they force them to sign away their rights to choose as a pack. Jongin got lucky that SHINee is a SM pack, and that Exo already had a lot of alphas or  he would never have gotten to join them. They told Minseok…” Mark choked up as he cried “They told him that if Lu Han didn’t accept the abortion… That they would kick Lu Han out of exo, and that Minseok should remove the pack bite from Lu Han. They kicked him out of his pack Nammie! While he is pregnant! How could they do a thing like that!”

Namjoon’s heart hurt for Lu Han, he couldn’t imagine happening. He knew SM was bad, but this was… This was horrible! He was impressed that Lu Han was still okay, having to go through pack withdrawal, having to deal with the pain of getting the bite removed, all the while being pregnant. The small omega had to be under immense stress. Namjoon didn’t know if he would have been able to do what Lu Han did.

“Is Lu Han okay, is the baby okay?” he tried to ask it mildly, praying the answer was yes.

That seemed to break Mark even more as he started to cry even harder. “They don’t know! All communication is banned between them! They don’t even know if he got to China in one piece! Nammie that’s 6 months ago! What if Lu Han has no people around him? What if he is going through this alone?”

It all made so much more sense to Namjoon now. Since Minseok and Sehun had spent the heat with Lu Han it was either of the alpha’s child, a child that they would probably never get to see, a child that was probably never going to know them. And Minseok had to remove the bite from his pregnant omega! That was why they would never accept Mark, they would always see him as a replacement for the omega that they lost.

“Are you okay Mark?” He could feel Mark shake his head on his shoulder.

“No, I’m not okay. I can’t stop imagining it, them wanting to rip the baby out of him, them now hiding him.”

That wasn’t what Namjoon had meant, so he tried again “Are you okay with knowing this? Do you still want to join them?”

The silence between them was deafening for almost 5 minutes before Mark finally spoke up “I’m going to ask Jaebum for the bite tomorrow.” He said it with a firmness that almost made Namjoon forget he was drunk still.

“Are you sure? Before you said you wanted to try out different things, making sure you found out where you fit into.” It seemed weird to Namjoon that Mark would suddenly want theo bite without any question.

Namjoon winched as Mark buried his nails in his ribs, “This has made me realize, all packs have issues. Yes sometimes it is going to annoy me that they are overprotective, but a pack is more than just it’s alphas. Our pack is all of us, I don’t wanna loose them Namjoon… I don’t wanna lose them like Lu Han lost his pack. I was so set in my own mind about wanting to find the perfect pack that I didn’t realize that there is no perfect pack, we all have issues, but a real pack looks at the issues and works on them. I don’t want to loose them Namjoon.”

This had clearly shook Mark more than he had expected, but Mark had a point. The main problem Mark had was that Jaebum and Jackson was overprotective, but Got7 was more than that. They were Jinyoung’s friendly guidance, holding Mark’s hand but letting him find the way self. They were BamBam trying to cuddle him to death, BamBam hanging all over him while they were signing. They were Youngjae cute facial expressions and soft smiles. They were Yugyeom always worried that he was being too ‘alpha’ with Mark, even if he was really just a giant puppy.

“I realized that… I would get mad if they gave up on me, if they took another omega instead of me.” Mark mumbled, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking _‘unless that person was Namjoon’_ “They all belong to me already, I think it’s time that I belong to them as well. It doesn’t make me less of an individual, it doesn’t take anything away from me. Loving them doesn’t mean I loose some of me. I just gain something.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling, he was proud of Mark that the omega had finally realized that it was okay for him to give himself to somebody else, that he didn’t loose something from being loved. He also felt his heart ache a little, Mark’s sentence that he didn’t want anybody else in Got7 other than him kinda hurt a little, he was happy with BTS he really was… But a little voice in his head had always said that it would be nice to be part of Got7, that he could be happy there as well. It was okay though, he could be and was happy with BTS just as Mark deserved to be happy.

“Mark you should go and tell them now, they are worried about you. They are afraid that they are going to lose you at anytime, you should go talk to them now.” This would be the last thing he did, he needed to send Mark to Got7, and then it would all be over. They wouldn’t need Namjoon anymore.

Now Mark yawned, his crying had left him tired, “But I’m tired.” He complained, still drunk.

“They deserve the truth right? It’s time for this thing you guys have been playing to be over, go home and be happy.” Problem was that the two males understood Namjoon’s sentence as something very different. Mark understood it like it was time for him to finally join Got7’s pack, that the game he had been playing with being courted by so many different groups was over, it was time for him to go home. Namjoon understood it like it was time for Got7 to leave him alone, that it was time for Got7 to stop playing with him.

Mark slowly raised himself from Namjoon’s bed, he had stopped crying but tear tracks were still visible on his face “You are right Nammie, it’s time for the game to stop.” He looked at the door that he had barred, “Uhm can I jump out of your window?”

Yoongi had been right… They had just been playing with him, Namjoon wanted to cry, somewhere deep in his mind he didn’t want to believe it… but Yoongi was right, of course he was, Yoongi would never lie to him, Yoongi was his packleader! “Yeah, go ahead.”

Mark grinned and kissed Namjoon on the forehead. “Thank you Nammie, this was just what I needed!” Had he not been drunk he wouldn’t have been this stupid, he would have remembered to ask about the block numbers. He would  have asked so many questions. He would have noticed how Namjoon’s heart rate was unhealthily high while just lying down, he would have realized how Namjoon’s hands were way too cold... But he noticed nothing and asked no questions.

Namjoon just sat and stared out where Mark had left him, but he was ripped out of his thoughts as a knocking on his door started.  “NAMJOON COME OUT HERE NOW!” Oh god, he had never heard Yoongi that angry… Namjoon was scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! And thank you so much for all your wonderful support! It has been out of this world! 5.4k views! Almost 400 kudos! And I got to chat to a lot of you in the comments which makes me very happy!
> 
> Also have any of you catched onto what is really going to be the big enemy here... It's not SM nor Yoongi!... Or Jungkook!


	9. I don't trust you with my body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a tons to my lovely beta ZanyaDawn, who puts up with my shitty grammar!

His first instinct was the hide and never comeback, but he knew that it wasn’t an option. He had to face Yoongi, he had to face his very angry pack leader, this was his own fault. “Namjoon now!”

The low growl present in Yoongi’s voice made a chill run down his spine, it had an edge of alpha anger. Namjoon knew the older pack alpha would have been angry over Mark being in the dorm, but something had to have happened to make him that angry, what had Mark done? Did he really not care for him even a little bit, so he just made it worse without caring?

“I just need to move some stuff, I will be out there.” He somehow managed to hide the fear in his voice. He slowly started to move the furniture that Mark had put in front of the door. Well no matter what happened Mark was happy now. He didn’t need Namjoon anymore, he had finally found his happy ending. Mark deserved his happy ending.

What sounded like a loud kick was heard and the door shook under the pressure “NOW!” Oh god, it sounded like Yoongi was loosing a little bit of himself to his inner alpha. It wasn’t a full alpha order, and with no contact it only had very limited effect on Namjoon, but that didn’t stop him feeling it inside of himself and picking up the pace which he was removing stuff.

He had a little bit of a struggle removing the last piece, he never used to have issues doing it. Now today it felt like he had no strength left in his arms at all. When he finally managed to free his door his felt out of breath and sweaty, he didn’t even take the time it would take to center himself, just hurrying to open the door.

“To my room, I need to talk with you Namjoon.” Yoongi’s voice was ice cold and Namjoon knew he was in deep shit. He took a second to look over the rest of the pack, Jungkook was the first one that really caught his attention, the young alpha had a red mark on his otherwise flawless tanned skinned. Aggression was rolling of him in waves that was hardly kept back by Seokjin and Taehyung who each had an arm around him.

Both beta’s didn’t even look at Namjoon, much more concerned with making sure that Jungkook didn’t do anything stupid, everybody could smell his scent of peppermint being mixed with something sour… So much for thinking that his hormone problem would solve itself. Where he would normally be calmed by Seokjin’s scent of roses it just felt like it pushed him more now. Jungkook knew he wasn’t in his right mind, his vision was slightly blurred by red as anger took over his brain.

The normally calming scent of Seokjin; the closest thing he had to a pack mum, now felt like it was suffocating, all he could focus on was the throbbing feeling from where Mark had hit him. The older omega hadn’t just slapped him, instead knocking Jungkook to the ground with his fist not giving five shits about Jungkook being an alpha, he wanted to push down Mark and show him his place as an omega. No that wasn’t right, you couldn’t treat omegas like that! He knew that something was wrong in his mind, but he couldn’t stop it. The alpha anger was taking over him, and while he could smell that Mark was long gone… His mind instead choose to focus on Namjoon, their leader was bathed in Mark’s scent and it was him Mark had come looking for.

Jungkook knew that it wasn’t right, Namjoon was their leader, he might be dud… and it wasn’t fair for Jungkook to take out his anger on him, but his inner alpha didn’t give a fuck. If he couldn’t have Mark and show him his place Namjoon would have to do.

Yoongi was struggling to keep cool as well. His inner pack leader saw a blatant attack on his pack. Mark had put his hand on Jungkook! He had told Namjoon to cut all contact with the Got7 members! How dare he lie to Yoongi! He was the fucking pack leader! Red was slowly making its way to the side of his vision, he knew he shouldn’t give himself to the anger. But he had given Namjoon a fucking chance, a chance to prove himself!

Namjoon might not be a real member of their pack. But he was not going to leave them, nobody got to leave them! Namjoon leaving meant that he would have failed as a pack alpha and failing was not an option! How dare Namjoon betray them like this? Anger was taking over his common sense.

Taehyung was scared, not that he wanted to admit it. He liked to call Mark a friend of his, and the older omega was normally calm and the idea that he could actually hurt another had never crossed his mind. Jungkook hadn’t deserved that right? Now here he was trying to calm their Maknae down, even though he looked like he wanted to kill Namjoon. This wasn’t Namjoon’s fault right? He couldn’t control what Mark did and he knew that Namjoon wasn’ really a part of the pack since he was dud which meant couldn’t take the bite, but still they shouldn’t turn on each other. And with all the alpha anger swimming around the room he was actually scared of what was going to happen.

Seokjin still wasn’t sure what had happened, he had been out with Yoongi and Hoseok until Jimin had called him, half in tears. He told him that Mark apparently had knocked Jungkook out while screaming at him that he was the worst alpha ever, and after that hiding out in Namjoon’s room all the while drunk.

At first Seokjin didn’t believe it, he thought this was some shit joke by the maknae line, but as they arrived home it turned out it was very much the truth. Mark’s vanilla scent was mixed with Jungkook’s own peppermint, he seemed to finally have woken up when they arrived. And Seokjin could instantly feel the change in Yoongi beside him the pack alpha checked on Jungkook to see that he was okay, before stomping towards Namjoon’s door mumbling what sounded like “How dare he!”

The eldest member of BTS could already feel the anger coming off Yoongi in waves, cinnamon mixing with anger and aggression, this wasn’t going to turn out well. He didn’t know what went down between Namjoon and Yoongi, he knew that the two of them have had a talk, Yoongi being annoyed that Namjoon was whoring himself out to other groups. Seokjin could see where Yoongi’s announcement came from. Namjoon was a dud he didn’t need to contact like they did, when it came out and it always did cause Jackson seemed to be documenting his ‘time’ with Namjoon on instagram, fans were going to see it very differently.

Jimin needed other omegas to stabilize one and another, and it was normal for alpha’s to challenge each other, even for betas it was positive to be around other betas. Getting away from dealing with the stress from dealing with heats, ruts and stuff like that, they needed it! Namjoon didn’t… Namjoon didn’t even have a sex drive, no dud did, they were born with defect scent glands. Seokjin couldn’t understand why Namjoon was doing it, the younger rapper had to know it was bad for them right?

Namjoon was normally always so careful, it simply made no sense. Why would Got7 even care? Didn’t they have enough trouble as it was, with Mark clearly being out of control! Yoongi said they were just using Namjoon for a quick release, but it left a sour taste in Seokjin’s mouth that he couldn’t really understand. They wouldn’t do that right?

His grip on Jungkook tightened, he wasn’t going to let Jungkook fall to his inner alpha. He knew that he should have forced Jungkook to the doctor. His hormones were a complete mess, something like this shouldn’t have made it so his eyes had shifted to a complete red! Jungkook made another move to free himself, but Seokjin wasn’t having it. He had been the person dragging Jungkook to the gym and while the baby alpha might look stronger Seokjin knew he wasn’t, he wasn’t going to let Jungkook do something he regret.

Jimin was frozen in the corner his mind trying to catch up to what happened. Mark had hit Jungkook and what had he meant with Jimin being naive? He wasn’t naive right? He wasn’t some wallflower. Just because he liked being more of a traditional omega than Mark, didn’t make him worth less than Mark! He knew that Mark was independent and didn’t answer to anybody. But just because Jimin liked having alphas taking care of him and just because he liked having them all baby him didn’t mean that he was naive right?

Even Namjoon babied him! Namjoon would help him by getting things he couldn’t reach, he would get things for him if Jimin asked, they all did! Jimin liked being babied, there was nothing wrong with that! He couldn’t believe that Mark was really that hateful towards him. Another thing the older omega had said was stuck in his mind, the alpha order. He knew Mark would never do anything about his threat but even though he did, he knew that neither of the Got7 alpha’s would ever agree to order an omega.

Jungkook hadn’t meant what he did, Jimin knew it! Jungkook might be a little hotheaded at times, but he wasn’t actually a bad person he really wasn’t! He had just gotten mad because Namjoon had stolen his shirt. Which Jimin would agree was a little weird, it was such an omega thing to do. Omegas would scent hoard when they were feeling vulnerable or sad, but he had never heard of a dud doing the same. Hell duds couldn’t even smell the scent, Jimin didn’t understand why Namjoon had done it, and the older rapper had refused to answer the question every time Jimin had asked.

But Mark was right in some way wasn’t he? Even if it shouldn’t have affected him at all, even if the effect was minimal on a dud that didn’t make it okay. None of them had talked about it again. They had all just acted like nothing had ever happened, they did that a lot didn’t they? Jungkook hadn’t even apologised to Namjoon had he? Yoongi might be packleader, but Namjoon was still their leader and he was still the person that they could thank for being where they were right now, they should respect at least that. Yeah Jungkook should apologize to Namjoon. He had just huffed and grabbed his shirt that Namjoon had still been holding onto and stomped to his room.

He knew that Jungkook had hormone issues, but all the anger that Jimin could feel from him right now made him uncomfortable and he didn’t really know what to do. He felt trapped between two angry alphas and even if the anger wasn’t directed towards him he could still feel the pressure, omegas were sensitive towards true alpha anger, which going by Kookie’s case fully red and in Yoongi’s case partially red eyes, was what was going on right now. He had only really felt alpha anger from Yoongi twice before, once at a music track he couldn’t get to work and once at an alpha who had dared to grab Jimin and make him uncomfortable. He never knew that he would ever feel the anger turned towards one of them, he knew that Namjoon wasn’t a real part of the pack… he was just a dud after all… but he was still part of BTS!

Hoseok was the person who was most worried about the situation, he knew that Yoongi had trouble controlling his anger when he first gave into the alpha inside of him. That was why the older alpha had iron control over himself normally, Hoseok knew he had to do something as Yoongi was leading the really scared looking Namjoon towards Yoongi’s room. God scared didn’t even start to explain what the younger rapper looked like. The way he tried to make himself smaller and flinched with each of Yoongi’s steps it reminded Hoseok more of the times he had seen alpha’s turn their anger towards the omegas back in his family's pack.

He made a decision, he couldn’t let Yoongi do this! He grabbed Yoongi by the arm. “It’s a bad idea, we are all okay… Maybe let’s all sleep on this and look at it tomorrow with fresh eyes?” he tried for a casual tone.

Yoongi’s focus turned to him like a laser finding it’s target. “Do you question my authority?” he sized up the taller alpha. “Are you challenging me?”

Hoseok quickly let go of him, “You know I’m not… I’m not trying to pick a fight, but we are all tired after a long day. And I feel like it’s a better idea if we all sleep on today events so we can be logical about it.” He gulped, he really didn’t want to fight Yoongi, he was much more of a lover than a fighter. “Yoongi your eyes are almost completely red, you know that you won’t be able to have a real discussion when it’s like this. This has clearly riled you up, but Mark is gone and Namjoon might have been the reason why Jungkook got hit, but he wasn’t the person who did it.”

Namjoon tightened his hand, nails digging painfully into his palm. Hoseok was right… He was the reason this had happened.

Yoongi growled at the younger alpha, in his angry mind he saw Hoseok as challenging him. He was the packleader of this pack, he was going to get the respect he deserved! He had always been of the thought that when things got sticky a pack alpha should not back down. He wasn’t going to back down, that would just show him as a weak leader. He wasn’t weak! “Do… you… challenge… me?” He asked each word cold and in a low growling tone closer to his rapping voice.

Namjoon couldn’t let this happen. His pack was turning on each other, this was all his fault. Hoseok was nice enough to stick up for him but he didn’t understand that this was all Namjoon’s fault. That Yoongi had every right to be angry with him! That he had failed to keep his promise to Yoongi. Clearly cutting all contact with Got7 wasn’t good enough. “Hoseok it’s my…” he never got to finish the sentence.

Yoongi turned on heel towards Namjoon and his open hand hit Namjoon on the cheek with a loud smack. The force turning Namjoon into an angle that couldn’t be comfortable “I DID NOT SPEAK TO YOU SLUT!” Yoongi yelled out, eyes now completely red.

The entire room froze, nobody sure what to do. Jimin was the first to react as he saw tears running down Namjoon’s face his omega instincts kicking in. He ignored the scent of rot as he pushed closer to Namjoon. It was a lot weaker than it was months ago, he could mostly only smell Mark’s scent of vanilla on him. He gently touched Namjoon’s jaw trying to get him to correct the position of his head, “Joonie you need to move your head, I need to see the damage.” It was kind of awkward trying to console the much taller male, but he couldn’t just leave a pack member in pain.

Yoongi took one step towards the two males, but that caused the rest of BTS to finally react. Before they didn’t think Yoongi would ever hurt a member of their pack… Even if it was Namjoon, they were friends before presentation had forced them apart but now it wasn’t just a threat to a pack member, it was a threat to their only omega. Seokjin and Taehyung tightened their grip on Jungkook with one hand while reaching out for Yoongi and grabbing the small alpha by either of his arms.

Jungkook tried to free himself, his inner alpha sensed danger to their omega! He had to protect, “DONT TOUCH HIM!” He yelled out as he couldn’t free himself. Hoseok put himself between the two males and Yoongi, so much for not wanting to fight him, “Yoongi step back, we don’t want you to hurt ANYBODY anymore.” He put emphasi on anybody. Namjoon might not be a real pack member, but he was still their Namjoonie tho!

Yoongi’s eyes slowly returned to their normal color and he looked a little dazed towards what had happened. Hoseok himself had never lost it to alpha anger, but what people had explained was it’s like somebody else was fighting for control of your body. “I would never hurt Jimin.” Yoongi mumbled now looking at the ground instead.

Seokjin still kept his iron grip on both alpha’s. “You shouldn’t hurt any of us, you are our pack alpha.”

Yoongi didn’t seem to know how to respond to that. He knew he shouldn’t have hit Namjoon. That wasn’t the kind of alpha he was, he was just so angry. Namjoon probably slept with Mark just because the older omega was bored and had no respect for the BTS pack. It was Namjoon who ended up speaking up for him, in a low voice with a sob hidden in it. “It’s okay guys, it’s my fault. I broke a promise I had with Yoongi.” He was still holding his head in a awkward position.

“You could have stabbed his dog and you still didn’t deserve this,” Jimin mumbled as he inspected Namjoon’s cheek the best he could. His omega instincts had taken completely over and his nurturing side was showing.

Namjoon tried for a light smile, but his cheek hurt so much. Yoongi seemed to have put a lot of strength in it but it was understandable, Namjoon was just a disappointment anyway. He couldn’t let the pack be angry at their packleader for something that was Namjoon’s fault. “I am okay really, it wasn’t even that hard.” A straight up lie. “A good night's sleep and it will be as good as knew. We have an early schedule tomorrow, maybe we should go to bed now?” He needed to be by himself to let out the tears, god it hurt so much.

Jimin looked at him suspiciously. “Are you sure? No real pain at all? It looked like he put his entire weight in it.” He don’t know what it was, but he had this feeling that something more was going on that he was being told, call it his instinct. Something wasn’t right.

“It’s fine ChimChim, can I just go and sleep it off?” His voice was slightly desperate.

“You can go Joonie, we will look at Kookie and make sure he is okay.” Seokjin assured him, pointing Namjoon towards his room they were all standing in front of.

No more words were exchanged between them as Namjoon just shuffled inside his room, they all kinda just froze not sure where to go from there, but it was Jimin who spoke up. “I don’t want you at my heat next week Yoongi, if I can’t trust you with our pack’s health I can’t trust you with my body.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHIT HAPPENED!
> 
> Also I took this chapter to show a little bit more of how BTS thinks... Also...  
> Next chapter will be shorter, but but but... It's going to be happy Got7 times, before I stick a knife in your heart and makes Namjoon present! And you are all going to regret asking for it!
> 
> As always! Omg thank you so much for the amazing support I am getting, I love talking to you guys it amazing how much thought you have put into this story... Also none of you really guessed the real devil that will force Namjoon to present :P


	10. It's happy... until it suddenly isn't

The first thing Mark noticed when he woke up was that he was hot, the second thing he noticed was how much the inside of his skull was trying to release out into the world. God how much did he drink last night?

Mark groaned in pain, why did he do this to himself? He tried to move a little only to notice that he was indeed pinned down from all sides. Jackson and Jaebum were clinging to his side both holding him where he was lying on his back. Yugyeom and BamBam had apparently decided that his thighs were a pillow, and at this pointt Mark’s thighs couldn’t really feel anything anymore.

Their two resident betas had both spooned up behind the two alphas, and were now holding their hands over Mark’s shirtless tummy. Where did his shirt go? Actually stupid question, when had they ever worn shirts in the nest? Oh! That was where he was! He was in their nest! That was when Mark remembered why he had started to drink. Oh god Lu Han! His inner omega curled up in pain just thinking about the older omega. How could that happen to anybody?

He pushed the thought from his mind again, he had way too big of a hangover to be able to deal with being sad on top of it and god why couldn’t he remember what had happened after? He knew he ran away from the Exo pack after Yixing had told him the story, it had all been to much for him to digest while sitting there.

Where had he gone after that? He had clearly gone somewhere else before returning home to Got7, they would never had let him drink like this. Think about it Tuan, where did you go after? Distant memories of some hole in the wall the bar. How he was kind of afraid to go in there at first, the place was more or less screaming everything his family had always warned him to stay away from. He had been desperate enough to get drunk without any body recognizing him as Mark from Got7 that in the end he had entered the place.

The alcohol had tasted like shit, but it had done the job. After that his memory was blank, it felt like he was missing something important. He couldn’t tell what it was, but it felt like he was missing something important, something he really should remember. He let out a loud groan, which in hindsight was a big mistake. His hangover made it self even more present at that, and his throat felt like sandpaper. Oh and he really needed to relieve himself. He tried to get Jaebum’s attention from where he was sleeping on Mark’s right shoulder “JB please… I need to pee.”

He tried to whisper it, even with a hangover, a sore throat and a desperate need to pee he still didn’t want to wake all of them up. It was so rare they got to spend a morning sleeping in like this, and he didn’t want to be the one breaking this happiness. He got no response from the pack alpha, Jaebum if anything just tightened the grab he had on Mark, well that wasn’t helpful. God he was going to pee on them all if they didn’t let him up.

“Guys please!” He said a little bit louder, this managed to wake up BamBam who looked up at Mark with big confused eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He mumbled, before closing his eyes again not ready to give up on sleep yet.

Mark whined high in his throat, which he regret only a second after. “I am going to pee on you if you don’t let me up.”

That seemed to finally get BamBam to react, he shrieked when he noticed just how close he was to Mark’s dick and therefore how close he was to getting peed on, “Yugyeom! Run! You are going to get peed on!”

If it wasn’t for the hangover Mark was suffering from, he would have found it hilarious.But instead BamBam’s loud voice just made the pounding in his head even worse. And just to make it worse, the youngest omega’s loud voice stirred Yugyeom awake with a start, which meant that his forehead nicely collided with Mark’s dick.

“What’s going on?” Youngjae seemed to have woken up by all the noise going on, “Why is BamBam doing his best impression of a banshee?”

Mark spoke quickly before BamBam could start a big and long argument, “I really need to pee and you are all holding me down. Please let me go.”

Youngjae finally gave him the response he was hoping for, as he helped Mark free himself by removing the overly cuddling alphas, who both slept like rocks, were the hardest task. But they did succeed in the end leaving Mark to rush to the bathroom, cursing his hangover the entire way.

The rest of the pack had finally woke up looking after Mark, Jackson ended up being the one to speak up. “Do we tell him that he asked for the bite, or do we ignore it?”

“We tell him!” BamBam demanded. “He wanted to join us, we are not going to ignore it!” He was not going to let Mark get away from them now.

Jinyoung ran a soothing hand over his back. “This is still Mark’s choice, I know it hurts… But we can’t bind him to something he said while drunk. It has to be his choice.”

BamBam whined, burying himself in the beta’s soothing embrace. “It isn’t fair.”

“We know.” Yugyeom agreed hugging the upset Thai from the back, sandwiching him between them.

Mark emerged from the toilet, and the light blush he was carrying clearly showed that he had heard everything going on in the nest. “I can’t remember saying that, I was very drunk… I am not even sure how I got here.”

Both Jackson and Youngjae looked like they just got kicked in the stomach. Those two and BamBam were the only ones who had allowed themselves to get their hopes up. Mark felt like a horrible person, why had he said that? He wasn’t ready to pick was he? Some distant voice in his head was trying to fight back the block alcohol had put on his brain, was he really not ready?

He knew he couldn’t join Exo now, he wasn’t that kind of omega. He couldn’t replace Lu Han he knew that, and he also knew that both Minseok and Sehun would never be able to accept him. Both of the alphas knew that one of them had put a child in Lu Han, and their kid was now kept from them and they might never see Lu Han or the kid again.

Mark couldn’t blame them for not being able to accept another omega, and especially not an omega like Mark who was so similar to Lu Han. It left Mark feeling like he was the second best choice, even if he knew that it was not what they had meant when they started courting him. He belonged with Got7 didn’t he?

He knew the answer to it, he might have known the answer for months, but he had been afraid of seeing it, afraid of regretting his decision. He had tried other things now, but he still returned home every time. This was home. “I want to take the bite.”

Now all 6 of his group mates, and hopefully soon pack mates, looked at him like he had just told them that he was actually an alpha. He got nervous for a second, was this not the right thing to do? Had he waited to long? Had he strung them along to long? He didn’t get to worry for too long before he was attacked with a hug from both of the youngest members of Got7, which Mark had to admit was a weird feeling. Yugyeom being much taller than BamBam which left the double hug feeling weird, but not in a bad way. Mark kind of liked it, he belonged here… But his head was still killing him.

“Guys please. My head is trying to murder me, can we like… Just cuddle and then deal with this later?” Mark whined.

BamBam giggled in a way Mark hadn’t heard him do in a long time, and let himself be pulled onto the bed by him. He was attacked with hugs from all sides as soon as he was placed in the nest, everybody was taking a time to hug and scent Mark… Well everybody other than Jaebum.

Mark looked at the pack alpha hesitantly, if Jaebum didn’t approve he wasn’t going to be allowed to join. But the alpha just asked hesitantly “Are you sure? We are willing to wait if you need more time, we are always ready to wait for you.”

He just shaked his head. “I don’t want to wait anymore, I am ready to commit now… I am sorry that it took me this long to understand that this was my home.”

Jackson hugged him a little too tight to his chest. “It’s okay, you’re home now and it’s all going to be okay now!” Mark didn’t need to see Jackson to know that he was grinning into his shoulder.

Mark looked hesitantly at Jaebum. “Can I have the bite now? I kinda… I just want to belong to you guys.” He felt so vulnerable right now. He just wanted them to belong to him, and he to them.

“You sure you don’t want to wait until your next heat, we all know that you are a softy on the inside.” Jaebum teased kissing him softly between the brows.

BamBam was the person to whine about it. “Don’t give him the time to regret it!”

He had really done BamBam dirty hadn’t he? If the younger really thought that he would ever regret joining them... Even with his head pounding like crazy he managed to gather up the younger omega in his arms and hug him to his chest, nuzzling his head into BamBam’s scent gland until he got a happy purr from the younger. “If it’s okay with you JB I would prefer to get the bite now… I kinda just want to belong. And my heat is two months away, we have this ones to deal with first.” He nuzzled his face into BamBam’s scent gland again forcing a giggle from him.

“Aww I wanna be adorable as well.” Youngjae pouted as he spooned up behind BamBam stealing a quick kiss from Mark over BamBam’s shoulder.

“Come here Mark, I can give it to you now. You are right, it’s time for all of us to belong to each other.” Jaebum patted his lap showing where he wanted Mark.

Mark scrambled for his spot between BamBam and Jackson to get on Jaebum’s lap, presenting his scent gland to the pack alpha. He was a little tense he had to admit. He had no idea what to expect from the bite. It was seen as rude to ask other people about their bite, so nobody had ever told him how it feels. Would it hurt? He didn’t want it to hurt.

But Jinyoung had read his mind as he kissed Mark in the nape of his neck “You need to relax baby or else Jaebum can’t give it to you, I promise it won’t hurt. You are going to feel little light headed and floaty when he does it. And a lot more floaty when it starts to settle in as your body reacts to your mates, but it’s not going to hurt I promise.”

The beta’s words were all he needed to relax a little, but Yugyeom’s hand grabbing his and squashing it also helped alot. Mark expected Jaebum to just go straight for the bite, he had always been the kind of guy to skip any kind of foreplay, but this time he kissed the gland instead giving it a light kitten lick, clearly trying to ease the bit of tension still there out of him.

Mark had to admit it worked, as the rest of the tension just flowed out of him relaxing him completely in Jaebum’s lap. Then he felt it, Jaebum burying his teeth in his neck forcing him to release a low whine. Mark instantly understood what they had meant with how he would be floaty, it was like his world went out of focus and his pounding hangover released him from it’s gasp as everything just kinda… relaxed around him.

Jaebum removed himself from Mark’s neck way before the omega was ready for it to end. He tightened his grip on Jaebum’s shirt. He wasn’t sure that he would have been able to stay upright if it had not been for the rest of his pack holding him up. “Markie pooh are you okay?” It was Jackson’s voice… right?

Wow his entire world was out of focus, he could feel so many things. It was like his mates were finally slotting into the right spot in his mind, for those few minutes he knew where all of them were without even needing to open his eyes.

He could feel their worry and happiness and oh god it was all too much… There was to many of them. He couldn’t find his own feelings anymore, he was overwhelmed by everybody else's feelings and it was like he was drowning. He didn’t even notice he was being laid down on his side, all of his pack members cuddling him close. They all knew how overwhelming it could be, there was so many of them that it took Mark’s body getting used to it, they all had vivid memories of how their own feelings was shortly pushed away from them as everybody else's emotions took foreground.

Yugyeom who was the last person to take the bite, who had the most people to get used to, was petting Mark’s hair softly. “I know it’s a lot, just a little bit longer and everything is going to be normal again. I know it feels like you are drowning in all our feelings, just hold onto our feeling of love for you and it’s going to be okay… I promise baby.”

Had Mark not been so far gone he would have laughed at the young alpha, if anything Yugyeom was his baby no the other way around, he was all of their baby alpha. He managed to bite a hold of that word, he needed to make fun of Yugyeom and as the haze slowly removed itself from his mind he managed to mumble. “You are all my babies if anything… I am the oldest.”

They all stared at him in disbelief for a second, he had just gotten his bite and that was the first thing he said. But Mark just continued like nothing. “You now all belong to me, you are now all my babies.”

They all exchanged a glance over Mark who was now cuddling into Yugyeom and pulling BamBam closer to his back, clearly enjoying being sandwiched between the two younger pack members. BamBam suddenly seemed to realize something. “Does that mean you are going to stay for my heat? Not run away?!”

Oh yeah… Mark just nodded letting himself be cuddled even closer by the happy overeager omega. “You are never going to get rid of me now.” he mumbled.

“Not that any of us would ever want to get rid of you, you belong to us… Finally.” Youngjae grinned from the spot where he had been wrestled into being the little spoon by Jackson who decided not to disturb the Mark sandwhich going on.

“Nope… You are clearly misunderstanding how this works. You might think you have claimed me… but really I have claimed all of you guys now, you are mine now.” Mark just said it like a fact, and none of them had it in them to disagree with him they were all just happy they finally got to have their omega with them.They were almost complete now… Then something struck Mark.

And he sat up with a start. “NAMJOON!” It all shocked the rest of Got7, not sure what the omega meant.

“What about Namjoon?” Jinyoung asked hesitantly.

“I went to visit him last night! Oh god… I hit Jungkook! And cussed out Jimin… Oh god Jimin looked like I was going to eat him. Or kill him and then eat him.” All of the memories flooded back into Mark.

Jaebum looked shocked at Mark “You hit an alpha? An alpha you know is unstable! Mark you could have gotten hurt!” He knew Mark was strong and could defend himself, but he had been drunk and Jungkook was clearly unstable.

Youngjae had another focus, he asked in a low voice. “Was Joonie okay?”

Mark tried to focus on what he could remember, it was all so unclear. “Yes… No… I am not sure… He was way more skinny than before, and he seemed… cold. I don’t think he is okay.” He tried to remember what he could. “His scent was very… weak, almost not there…”

He was interrupted by a call on Jinyoung’s phone, they all recognized his tone as the one only put on for important things, and Jinyoung grabbed for the phone looking confused when he saw the caller ID read ‘Gangnam Yonsei Sarang Hospital?’

He picked it up fast. “Yes?”

 _“Is this Park Jinyoung?”_ The voice on the other end asked.

“Yes, what is the problem?” He couldn’t see any reason for the hospital to call him, if his family had gotten hurt they wouldn’t be on Yonsei Sarang hospital…

_“You are listed as the emergency contact for  Kim Namjoon?”_

Oh god, it felt like Jinyoung had just been kicked in the face… What had happened? “Is Namjoon okay? Please tell me he is okay!” That got the attention of the rest of Got7 who now looked at Jinyoung with scared eyes.

_“Mr. Kim went into cardiac arrest caused by severe malnourishment while having a meeting with his company's CEO, he was rushed to the hospital and we have managed to stabilize him. We just finished running a series of test on him and we need to talk to you about his future. It doesn't look good.” The lady on the other end stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. “ A pack is trying to claim him as theirs, but since Mr. Kim is an undocumented omega with no bite this seems to be untrue, we would prefer if you would come to the hospital to sort this out.”_

It was all too much information for him, Namjoon… Oh god no… Tears were starting to run down his face, then he bit into the last thing she said “Omega?”

_“Yes we assume that Mr. Kim was a suppressed omega, his body forced presentation on him to save him. Without it we wouldn’t have reached him in time. We will be waiting for you Mr. Park. Please hurry”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the big evil was Joonies eating disorder ^^
> 
> A little bit of context to people who don't know:  
> Anorexia courses Cardiac arrest also known as a heartattack it is the most common reason to die from anorexia.
> 
> The signs were:  
> A very fast resting heartbeat, this means your heart is overworking and it is one of the final signs before a heart attack  
> Cold hand and feet (heart not being able to pump blood out there)  
> Bad temperature control of your body ^^


	11. Doctor 'I don't give a fuck'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am sorry that the chapter is late, Friday morning the day where I normally write the chapter, I were put in the hospital after fainting at dance practice due to exhaustion, that is why the chapter is late. I apologize. 
> 
> Secondly... Holy fuck! You guys cared much more about the fact that BTS tried to say that Namjoon was their, than that Joonie had a heartattack! :O

None of them said anything as they got a ride to the hospital. Mark was rubbing his new bite mark with a lost look in his eyes. He blamed himself for this, he should have seen what was wrong with Namjoon when he had been there, why had he been so drunk? Well he might not be the fault for it, doing nothing was just as bad.

BamBam was sitting on Yugyeom’s lap, the two youngest members seeking comfort in eachother no longer sure of who was comforting who anymore. Youngjae had seeked comfort in their pack alpha, sitting next to him hugging his arm close. Jaebum didn’t say anything. As the pack alpha he felt he was to blame as well, Namjoon might not have been an official part of  their pack but they had treated him like he was and that made him Jaebum’s to protect.

Jackson was shellshocked he had an almost bone crushing hold on Jinyoung's hand, his normally healthy tan was now a scary pale color. What if they were too late? Why hadn’t he done something faster, why hadn’t Zico and he been faster… Shit. Zico, he deserved to know.

Not releasing Jinyoung’s hand, he grabbed his phone with the other shooting Zico a quick text.

‘Come to Gangnam Yonsei Sarang Hospital, Joonie had a heart attack because of his weight, stable but not good. Presented omega! We don’t know more, please come, BT SHITS are here as well’

Jinyoung wanted to cry again, he really did… But he wasn’t going to let himself, his pack was falling apart and Namjoon had a heart attack. He couldn’t let himself fall apart as well, he needed to be strong for all of them. He could cry and cry later, but right now… His pack needed him to hold them all together. Namjoon needed him to take care of this, even if Namjoon didn’t know it. He wasn’t going to let Namjoon down again, especially not when BTS’s claim on him was not valid anymore, Namjoon could now belong to who ever he wanted to.

When Got7 finally got to the hospital they were shown to a waiting room, where they were meeting with BTS all looking equally shocked. A doctor was standing waiting for them, she was a small woman he could smell showing as an omega, but her facial expression clearly said ‘Dont fuck with me’, and Jinyoung was sure that this was the woman he had talked to on the phone.

“They are here. Now, tell us what happened to Namjoon.” Yoongi demanded, he was not at all happy having to wait for Jinyoung to arrive, and less happy that he brought the rest of Got7 with him. They didn’t need to be here… This wasn’t their business.

The Doctor raised one eyebrow at them. “I have told you this once Mr. Min and I will do it again. I am letting you stay here out of the goodness of my heart, you have no claim on the patient so I can and I will kick you out of here. Don’t think you idol types have any sway here, this a hospital not a high school!”

Yes, Jinyoung turned out to be right, fucking with this doctor was clearly a bad choice. She clearly didn’t care what her sub gender said or that they were idols. Her job was to care about her patient and she didn’t care about anything else. She turned towards Got7. “You guys might want to sit down, this isn’t going to be easy.”

Yeah, that was not the right thing to say if she wanted to calm the pack down. But they did as she said. BamBam took the spot closest to be BTS having Jimin on his left, where he was more or less silently crying into Jungkook’s shoulder.

Yugyeom took the spot next to BamBam, feeling slightly protective of the older omega after having heard what Jungkook had done, but he also felt conflicted… He and Jungkook were friends. They had talked less since he had presented, but still… Could presenting change him so much?

Jinyoung took a deep breath, he could do this, Namjoon had trusted him as his emergency contact. “Okay, how bad is it?”

“I’m Doctor Choi, I’m the neurologist connected to Kim Namjoon’s case. When he arrived at the hospital our ambulance personnel had managed to stabilize him mostly, but after looking him over we decided that it’s much better to put him in an artificial coma to ensure his health. His cardiac arrest was triggered by severe malnourishment caused by anorexia nervosa. From my expertise I would say that the only reason that it went this well was Mr. Kim’s body forcing it’s presenting on him. Triggering his inner omega managed to help stabilize his heart.”

“Omega? Namjoon is a dud.” Jungkook interrupted, confusion clear in his mind, “he is 22, it is way too late for him to present.”

“Shut up, and let her speak.” It was the first thing Jackson said at all since they got the call, and his voice was like a legion of small knives. “She is a trained doctor, and you are kpop idol… I think she knows this better than you.”

Doctor Choi just ignored both of them. “Dud is very very rare medical condition where both the scent gland and the brain isn’t developed right. A dud has no sense of scent or pack at all, and their emotions are very shallow. It is my professional opinion that a dud would not be able to make it in the entertainment world. They simply don’t care enough.” That didn’t fit Namjoon and it seemed to hit all of them at the same time, BTS maybe a little bit harder than Got7, and they all slowly started to digest it. Namjoon was an omega.

“What Namjoon is instead is what we refer to as a suppressed gendered. This happens a lot more common than what people think. Back in the days it was even more common. People who are scared of being who they really are, scared of what will happen if they become their true self forces so their bodies reject their true sub-gender. It’s like pregnancy. How omega’s can want to be pregnant so bad that their body starts producing the pheromones for pregnancy, they start lactating and can even cheat a home pregnancy test. The mind is a very powerful thing.” Her smile was now soft and calming, she clearly cared a lot about all her patients. “Normally suppressed gendered people never go this long, they would normally see a doctor when they hadn’t presented at 19. Here they get the mental health and emotional support they need. That leads to my first question, do any of you have any idea what has caused Mr. Kim to reject his omega status? It’s rare we find omegas doing it nowadays, it’s mostly alpha’s who are afraid of the violent and unpredictable way the media portrays them.”

They all seemed lost for a moment, omegas were treasured nowadays, especially male omega’s. That was when Yoongi decided to speak up. “Because being an omega means he loses everything.”

He said it in such a matter of a fact way that all focus was suddenly on him and Mark could feel how the pit of his stomach tightened up. Yoongi couldn’t mean what he thought he meant, Doctor Choi looked just as confused as the rest of them felt. “I’m not sure I understand.”

The mint haired alpha just shrugged his shoulders. “Omegas aren’t rappers… And especially not leaders.”

They just looked at him as if he had said that he was preparing to debut as a ballerina. Seokjin looked at Yoongi with big eyes, he knew Yoongi had grown up in a very traditional environment, but he couldn’t mean that! This wasn’t just some random omega, this was their Namjoon?

Jungkook nodded in agreement with Yoongi. “Yoongi-hyung is right, he would never be taken serious as rapper if it got out that he was an omega.”

That spiked the fire in both of the Got7 omegas who were up and standing before anybody could stop them. BamBam was the one taking the lead in the angry yelling “It doesn’t matter what sub-gender Namjoon is! He is a great leader! Sub-genders don’t define us. What fucking era are you from! Both Mark and I are omega rappers!”

Yoongi didn’t seem fazed by the angry omega staring him down. “Vixx has an alpha leader, B.A.P has an alpha leader, BigBang has an alpha leader, Super Junior has an alpha leader, Monsta X has an alpha leader, 2ne1 has an alpha leader, you guys have an alpha leader! The rest have beta leaders! Nobody want’s an omega to lead them! Leaders are strong! And you aren’t a real rapper, you were put as a rapper because both of you weren’t good enough as singers! Don’t call yourself a rapper!”

Both Hoseok and Jimin looked almost shocked at Yoongi, they knew their packleader had some old school views, but this? They had always chalked it up to either a joke, or just ignored it. It had never been targeted at them, yeah Yoongi was very possessive towards them, but still…

Got7 wasn’t surprised, but still felt very protective, it was their omegas that Yoongi was slinging shit at and they knew BamBam had struggled with antis saying the same thing about him. A fight was very close to breaking out but Doctor Choi was not going to let it happen, she put a light hand on BamBam’s shoulder shaking her head as he turned towards her. She looked at Yoongi with a strong stare. “This is your last warning Mr. Min, you will either keep your toxic comments inside or you will leave this hospital. You have no claim on my patient.”

Yoongi looked like he had swallowed a lime, but he kept his mouth shut. It was his omega that they had kept in there, He had let Namjoon stay while he was a dud but Namjoon belonged to them. They needed a second omega and Got7 did not need a third omega.

Doctor Choi looked over the two groups sitting in front of her and she sighed. “Outside factors are the cause then. That leads us to the… less than fun stuff I have to tell you about.” She shook her head a little. In all of her career as a doctor specializing in suppressed gendered this was the worst case she had ever had and if this was whom saw himself as his pack leader she could understand. “First his weight, his weight was critically low for his height, this was as your heard what caused his heart attack. We have him on a drip right now hoping that he will regain some of the weight, but more about that later. We took a scan of his brain and the results weren’t good. You might know that an omega’s brain goes into slow shutdown if its gets denied its needs; scenting, closure, stuff like that. Luckily it doesn’t seem to have been all 4 years, but I would say around 3 to 4 month with small boosts of gettings his needs filled. Did anything special happen around that time? It could be very useful to us.”

Jaebum bit his lip, he knew what had happened and he needed to tell her right? “They kicked him out of their nest.” He pointed towards BTS. “He is in their kpop group, its standard for our kind that even if you aren’t in the pack you sleep in their nest. It helps us when we are to far away from our own pack, or haven’t chosen one yet. They kicked him out because they didn’t like his scent.”

Most of BTS at least had the decency to look down in shame. Jimin felt like was getting suffocated, if Namjoon was really an omega that meant that they were the reason for all of this… They weren’t bad! Right… Right? It felt like they were just now basic villains in a poorly written k-drama. What had they done?

Jungkook didn’t seem to have understood what the major this problem was. “What did you want us to do? It was impossible for us to sleep with his scent there! You don’t get it cause you didn’t have to deal with it.”

“He slept in our nest!” Youngjae erupted, unable to keep it in.  He sniffed once he wasn’t going to cry again! “When you guys let him visit us.” He added almost in a mumble.

Doctor Choi felt anger inside her, but she didn’t let it out, she needed to do right by her patient and anger was not going to work. “I understand, the next issue is the self harming. We found multiple fresh scraps from self harming, and even some that have scarred. These were all in places easy to hide, and they all look like they were made by nails, this is good. If we go with a case of omega negligence this is seen many times before, since it causes both depression and anxiety. Has there been any signs of either of these?”

“No.”

“Yes.” It came at the same time, a no from Taehyung and a yes from Jinyoung. Jinyoung stared Taehyung down until the other beta looked down in shame.

“We have had multiple issues with Namjoon putting himself down, we thought we fixed his eating disorder once, but we are a different group and we don’t get to see him a lot… Especially when he is kept away from us, we haven’t seen him at all in the last month, but he always talked about how he needed to be a better him, it got really bad sometimes.” Jinyoung moved his stare to Seokjin, the fans always talked about how Namjoon and were like a married couple, oh how the public image could be deceiving.

Again Doctor Choi nodded noting it on her papers, “Then we have our most puzzling result, when he presented, his scent gland went into overwork. He is producing over 10 times the scent he needs to, normally I would chalk it up to his presenting but the scent is much weaker than it should be. So we took a skin swab and blood test, the results were… surprising. Both tests came back positive for CBTY, it's the chemical used for removing scent.”

No… Oh god no. Jackson had this crippling feeling in his stomach that he knew how that came to be on Namjoon’s skin but Namjoon wouldn’t do that right? That would have hurt way too much… just touching it by accident hurt more than Jackson would ever like to admit, he had to say something. “What if he had sprayed himself with scent removal spray?”

She frowned and look on her papers “He would have had to use it regularly for at least 2 weeks and he would have had to use it once a day. That would have meant immense pain for him, but it would give this results.”

Jackson wrung his hands “Namjoon hated his scent more than I can explain. He probably believed that if it wasn’t there, people were more likely to accept him. He just wanted people to accept him.” God he wanted to kill the members of BTS, he understood they had their own issues, but why did it have to come to this for them to see it was their fault. Had BTS just let Namjoon go then he could have been happy with them instead. He didn’t even need to present, the all accepted him anyway.

Doctor Choi sighed, “It will be flushed from his system, but it will be slow and it might take even longer for his scent gland to stop pumping out so much scent. When he wakes up I want no alpha to be alone with him. That brings me onto the the next point, heats. Normally since he has presented he would soon go into his first heat, but he is way to underweight to be able to support a heat right now so his body has shut it down completely. If he gains weight slowly he will be able to, but for now there is no way of telling when he will be able to have his heat.”

For the first time Jimin spoke up in a low voice, “Is he going to be okay?”

She looked at him, her eyes hard as granite. From all she had heard today she wasn’t a big fan of BTS and for another omega to let that treatment go on, it made her sad. “Physically yes, his mind is something very different. If he hasn’t had his needs fulfilled for up to 4 years, and he is so afraid of being an omega. His self hatred is out of this world. If he gets the time he needs, and the support he needs, then yes I believe he can become a healthy and happy man. The thing is you idols rarely get the time you need to heal.”

“He will get the time, I promise you that.” Entering the room was no other than Bang PD, “I apologize for being late, but I had some business to take care of. It is in place that Namjoon will get the time he needs to heal, he is the leader of BTS. Without him there is no BTS.”

Doctor Choi smiled and gave quick bow to the beta, she had talked with the man earlier and she was happy that he seemed to care about his artists alot, he had even rode in with Namjoon in the ambulance, only leaving after everything was explained to him to take care of business around this. “I am happy to hear this, you still wish to be the one next to him when he wakes up?”

“Yes I believe it’s the best thing, he will blame himself for getting behind on work, and he needs somebody who is less attached to tell him about what happened. I fear that he might be worried that I will take his title from him, that will of course not happen. Namjoon is the only person who can lead BTS. Doctor Choi, 2 young men, an alpha and an omega, will arrive in a few hours. They are to be let in after me.” The sentence was said with a sharp glare at Yoongi, who in that moment had looked like he was going to protest. “Yoongi before I join Namjoon in his hospital room I would like a talk with you.”

Yoongi let go of Taehyung’s hand that he had been playing with to keep himself from speaking up, he slowly stood up in a stiff way. “Of course Bang PD-nim.”

The older beta lead the young pack alpha into an empty room, “Something will have to change Yoongi, I know how you were raised and your past, but I have ignored it for too long. I thought you guys would handle it as a pack, and that Hoseok and Seokjin would keep you from going too off the road, I see now that isn’t the case. I know you don’t feel like you have done something wrong and that is part of the problem.” He sighed and looked over the alpha, his stance was stiff and hostile. “Yoongi I want you to go to therapy, and this isn’t a request it’s an order. I am putting you on hiatus if you don’t. Not BTS, just you. This is not just pack business anymore.”

“You can’t mean you are keeping Namjoon as a leader! He is an omega, not a leader!”

“ENOUGH!” This was the first time ever he had raised his voice towards any of the members. “I understand that you had a rough childhood, and I understand your past, but this is enough! May I remind you that BTS was built around Namjoon? Namjoon is the leader of BTS for a reason, he could present as a dancing reindeer and he would still be the leader! And you will respect him as your leader! So which do you accept? Therapy or hiatus?” Bang PD had to be honest, he had no idea what Yoongi would choose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter!


	12. Let's talk

Namjoon felt confused when he woke up, what happened? Where was he? His body felt heavy like he couldn’t move. He needed to open his eyes, why were they so heavy? What had happened?

“Don’t strain yourself Namjoon, the doctor said you shouldn’t force yourself, let your body slowly wake up. You have been out for over 12 hours.” That was Bang PD-nim’s voice… he was sure of it!

Oh god, he was looking at Namjoon sleep slacked face, he was wasting Bang PD’s time, he needed to wake up! Why was he even in Namjoon’s room, had Namjoon forgotten a meeting? He finally managed to open his eyes, oh this wasn’t his room.

“Where am I?” His voice was rough and dry, and it hurt to get the words out of his dry throat, he was so thirsty, and it was like his brain was working on half speed at best.

Bang PD looked at the confused omega, his scent of peaches and cream was still weak, but Doctor Choi had said that with a few weeks of medicine the scent should be back to it’s natural level. “You are in the hospital, can you remember why how you  ended up here?”

Namjoon shook his head, or he tried to shake his head instead it ended up being a pathetic attempt of headshake. He simply didn’t have the strength, that was when his brain actually caught onto what Bang PD had said. Hospital? No no no no, he couldn’t be in the hospital! He wasn’t sure why, but he knew he couldn’t be in the hospital. He knew they would find something he didn’t want them to! What if they had already found it? How did he even end up here?

“I’ll take that as a no.” The older beta sighed, he knew that this conversation was important and he also knew that if he fucked it up there was a serious chance that it would really hurt Namjoon for a very long time. He had a chance to help Namjoon undo some of the damage done to him, he just had to do it right. “You had a heart attack due to anorexia, they managed to stabilize you.”

How did he have a heart attack? He wasn’t even skinny enough, not even close, it didn’t make any sense. That was when he noticed the i.v drip in his arm, and his mind instantly realized what that was. “No!” he tried to get the drip out of his arm, but his entire body was way to heavy for it to work, and Bang Pd easily stopped him by putting a gentle hand on Namjoon’s shoulder, “Please I need it out, they are ruining it!”

His voice sounded almost in tears, and Band PD could feel his own heart almost breaking. There went the chance that he had starved himself by accident. Namjoon really believed that he needed to lose the weight. “Namjoon you need to keep it in, you are way too skinny, you are going to die if you keep it up. God you already had a heart attack, next time you won’t be as lucky, we can’t lose you.”

“You are wrong… I… I need to be better, I need to be better for them. You don’t understand! There is nothing wrong with me.” That was when Bang PD knew that he had made the right choice, even if Namjoon wouldn’t be able to understand it right now, but BTS right was not having a positive effect on the newly presented omega.

He kept a very light grip on Namjoon’s arm making sure that he wasn’t going to rip out the drip that was forcing nutrients into him. “You are already good enough, BTS was formed around you, not the other way around.” He had to tell Namjoon that he had presented didn’t he? He knew ripping off the bandage was the best choice, “You survived because your body forced presenting on you… Namjoon you presented omega, you aren’t a dud.”

He wasn’t sure what he really expected, maybe for Namjoon to be happy, being an omega… Especially a male omega, was positive! Instead he saw dread hit Namjoon’s face. Namjoon felt this was his worse fear becoming true, of course it was, but he couldn’t make a scene. He just had to accept it, it wasn’t Bang PD’s fault. It was Namjoon’s. Stupid stupid Namjoon. The only thing he could do was trying to help him with the transition “I… I think Yoongi is a good choice, he is a little rough around the edges, but he is a good pack leader and the others listen to him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“As a leader of BTS, I think Yoongi could do it well and he's an alpha so it fits him.” Namjoon’s voice was a little sad, but he tried to stay strong. It wasn’t Bang PD’s fault that Namjoon was useless.

Bang PD finally realized what Namjoon was talking about. He thought that he was taking the leader spot from him. “Namjoon no! I would never take the leader spot from you, you are the leader of BTS! How could you think I would do that, you have been a great leader for them.” What really irked him was how Namjoon thought that Yoongi would make a good leader of the group, was he really that deep in self hatred that he thought that he deserved everything done to him? Had he really gotten so bad without any of them noticing?

He knew the boys weren’t really bad people, but had they really been the neglectful? Just because Namjoon was a dud didn’t mean that he shouldn’t be treated like he wasn’t worth something! “I’m useless.” Namjoon whispered in a low voice, “I’m sorry… I didn’t try to be an omega! I really tried not to be one! I did everything I could… I’m sorry.” The last two words were said with such regret and self hatred that Bang PD was actually taken aback by it a little.

“Nothing is going to change Namjoon, when you get out here you will still be a rapper you and you will still be the leader. I promise you, nothing will change that.” He wasn’t sure how to fix this. He knew Zelo would be by later when things had slowed down and hopefully the giant tree of an omega could make Namjoon see a little bit more of the truth but for now he needed to try and make Namjoon realize the truth. He also need to break the truth about the new living arrangements for Namjoon.

The omega looked almost shocked at Bang PD “You mean that? I… get to stay? Even as an omega?”

“Do you want us to kick Jimin out? He is an omega he is one also.”

“NO!” The loud voice was a strain on Namjoon’s dry vocal cords. Bang PD couldn’t do that “Don’t please don’t! Jimin is a good omega! He worked really hard on both his dancing and singing, he even helped with his solo song. Please don’t take that from him! He has worked so hard!” The young omega begged, he wouldn’t let that happen to Jimin… Jimin was good.

“So it’s okay to kick out you? But not Jimin? Even if you are the same sub-gender?” Bang PD answered with a raised eyebrow, hoping Namjoon would get his point.

Namjoon shook his head, making himself dizzy and confused. “Jimin is good! I’m just… stupid.”

He actually believed that didn’t he? He actually believed that about himself didn’t he? “You have one of the highest IQ’s for an idol. I’m pretty sure that means you aren’t stupid and I know it’s hard to believe. I know just as well as you do how rappers used to talk about omegas, but it isn’t like that anymore. Do you think that Zelo or Ravi are worth less as rappers because they are omegas? Should they be removed from their group based on something they can’t control?”

Namjoon’s still confused mind didn’t really fully grasp what Bang PD was saying. He just heard it as a threat to his friends, he just heard it as somebody questioning people he saw as his friends “No! They are both good rappers! Their groups needs them!”

The still pleading tone in Namjoon’s voice was one of the saddest thing’s Bang PD had heard, Namjoon just wanted to protect everybody else, but he clearly didn’t care about himself. “Namjoon I want you to repeat after me okay? Can you do that?” He got a nod as response. “Repeat: Nothing is going to change the fact that I am the leader of BTS.”

Namjoon seemed dubious like he still didn’t believe what was being said to him, but hesitantly he repeated, “Nothing is going to change the fact that I am the leader of BTS.”

Bang PD nodded approvingly “It could be a raining dancing unicorns and I would still be  respected and a good rapper.”

“It could be a raining,” Namjoon had to stop mid sentence to giggle at how silly the sentence was, it had clearly been the goal of it. It was good hearing Namjoon laugh or in this case giggle again. He hadn’t thought about how long of a time it had been since he had last heard the young man do it.

“Come on say it I know you can” The beta teased the BTS leader.

“It could be a raining dancing unicorns and I would still be respected and a good…” He hesitated a bit on the last part, like he wasn’t sure that he was actually meant to say it, but with a helping nod from Bang PD he continued “rapper.”

“Good, if anybody ever tells you that you aren’t a rapper or that you aren’t anything just because you are an omega tell them that.” He knew that he hadn’t fixed Namjoon, he knew that Namjoon was mostly just saying it to make the beta happy. But he hoped this was the start. That this was a stepping stone that they could all use to build up Namjoon again.

He knew now came the less pleasant part of this, he needed to have an important conversation with Namjoon. “We found evidence of scent removal spray on your skin. Namjoon why was it there?”

Namjoon just looked away, like a child who had been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. “Namjoon you aren’t in trouble, I promise you nothing is going to happen to you. We just all want to know so we can help you.”

It was the truth, he couldn’t blame Namjoon for anything that happened to him.This wasn’t really Namjoon’s fault. If anything it was everybody but his fault! BTS should never have let it happen, he should have sent Yoongi to therapy before, he should have been more in check with what happened to Namjoon. Got7 should have contacted somebody else about it instead of trying to deal with it alone.

“I just wanted the scent to go away,” Namjoon mumbled still not daring to look at Bang PD “my scent was annoying people, so I wanted it gone. I just wanted to help.”

He sounded so ashamed, Bang PD knew he couldn’t blame him. “It’s okay Namjoon, I understand why you did it. You did damage to your scent gland, it is trying to make your scent as strong as it’s meant to be. The next few weeks you will feel very tired since you are producing way too much scent.”

Namjoon now just looked terrified “So now everybody can smell it much stronger? I’m sorry I tried!”

“You have your omega scent now Namjoon, you smell like a healthy omega now.” Okay so that was a little bit of a lie, while yes Namjoon’s scent was very pleasant, it was also a super bad pun. His scent wasn’t really healthy smelling, his scent was signalling to the world that he was depressed, it was a sign that omegas scent when they didn’t get their needs filled.

“I… Don’t smell like rot and death anymore?” Now that Bang PD thought about it, Namjoon had always kinda smelled like rotten peaches, so it wasn’t a different scent he had had. It was just  scent rotten.

“No, but you do smell like peaches and cream…” He couldn’t stop himself from laughing, and Namjoon joined him with a giggle “I am not lying!”

“So I… I smell good now, they won’t hate my scent anymore?” Namjoon asked hesitantly.

Bang PD shaked his head “No, it’s a very good scent.” But Namjoon’s question made Bang PD think of another important thing he needed to talk to him about, and this wasn’t going to be happy conversation.

“I am moving you out of the dorm’s.” He didn’t know how else to say it, he couldn’t let Namjoon stay with BTS, he was to vulnerable for it.

Yeah maybe that wasn’t the right way of saying it, Namjoon just looked like Bang PD had killed a puppy in front of him. “I thought you said you weren’t throwing me out of BTS.” He didn’t even sound accusatory, he just sounded like he was giving up on the world.

“I am not throwing you out of BTS! I have gotten you a place you can stay for yourself. So much different stuff has happened between you and the pack, and you need a space you can call your own, a space you can keep for yourself.” He wasn’t sure how to make Namjoon realize that BTS wasn’t good for him, he would have to reveal what he knew didn’t he.

“Namjoon you are now an omega without a pack, and I want you not to join the BTS pack. I want you to give other people the chance to court you.” Namjoon looked confused “I know you don’t think other people want you, but you are well respected idol, rapper, and a male omega. There are a lot of packs who would want you to join them and a lot of them are close friends of yours. So I am giving you a space where you can decide who can be there and where you can just be you. You can invite anybody over there if you want them to. And even if you are going to spend all your time in different nests, this is going to be space that is your own. But Namjoon I want you to look me in the eyes and promise me that you are going to give other packs a chance. I know you think that you owe BTS to join them, but this isn’t about BTS. You guys are still going to be a great group without you in the pack, this is about you and your mental health. This is your future, you need to find the right pack for you to join.”

“But I’m part of the BTS pack.” his voice was so low, and it was clear that even he was doubting if he really was.

“They haven’t treated you like you are part of the pack, and you don’t have a bite from the pack. You don’t owe them anything, you have worked tirelessly as their leader. You deserve to be happy, you can let BTS court you as well, but I want you to give other packs the chance as well I know that there is a very eager Got7 pack that wants to see you outside.” He smiled lightly, hoping that the mentioning the other pack would make Namjoon happy, he knew that they meant a lot to him.

Instead Namjoon just looked sad “They used me, they just wanted release. They don’t actually want me, they were just using me.”

“Where do did you get this from?” Bang PD asked confused, he didn’t know the full story between Namjoon and Got7, but he knew that they cared deeply about the BTS leader.

The omega looked away “I talked to Yoongi he made me see the truth.”

Oh… Of course… Fucking Yoongi, the worst part was he knew Yoongi wasn’t evil, but god the young mint haired rapper made it hard to sympathise with him. He had half a mind and tell Namjoon about all the shit Yoongi had done, but he knew it wasn’t right. Yoongi and Namjoon needed to talk like adults at one point and Bang PD couldn’t get between that. He needed Yoongi to realize himself what he had done, instead he just went with “Yoongi was wrong, they were here as fast as possible and they have waited up all night waiting for you to wake up even after they got told that they wouldn’t get to see you for a while.”

“Why not?” Namjoon asked confused, but he had also lit up when he heard about Got7, yeah the Got7 guys really did have a chance when Namjoon realized he didn’t owe BTS anything.

“I demanded to be the one to be here when you woke up for the first time, since I am your CEO it wasn’t hard to get that right, and I am going to stay here until you fall asleep again. When you wake up, there is going to be somebody here instead who is looking forward very much to talk to you. If I were you I would really listen to what he says. He really knows what it means to be an omega in this industry, and he seems to have a soft spot for you.” He smiled fondly remembering the phone call. Namjoon really needed somebody like that in his life, “Oh but I promised Mark to apologize for him, he is very sorry that he didn’t notice last time. He also promises never to drink that much again.”  

With the mention of Mark it was like a lightbulb turned on in Namjoon’s head and that desperate look was back in his eyes. “You would never put Jimin on different contraceptive, and then when he got pregnant force him to leave the group and pack, and then lock him up in China right?!” The fact that Namjoon was still worried about Jimin instead of himself made Bang PD sigh.

“So you heard about Lu Han, I did wonder when it would start coming out. My guess is from Mark right? Who got it from the rest of Exo?” Namjoon nodded “I would never do that I promise, we all tried to get them to stop, but there are nothing we could do. You can’t tell anybody about it, if it gets out into the public you are putting both Lu Han and the baby at risk. And the rest of Exo, promise me you won’t tell people.”

Namjoon just nodded seeming happy with the answer he got from Bang PD, his mind was still so scrambled trying to contain all the information that had been given to him. “Tired?” he asked.

“Yeah, my mind is so heavy, I can’t really focus” He rubbed his eyes in a tired movement.

“Sleep Namjoon, everything is going to be okay I promise. It might not seem like it right now, but it’s going to be okay. And somebody else is going to be here when you wake up.” he promised.

Namjoon didn’t want to sleep but he could feel himself being pulled under again, the conversation had tired his already starved body.

He wasn’t sure how long of time he had slept, but it was darker in the room as he woke up and somebody was stroking his hand with the unfamiliar scent of blueberries was swimming around in the room as he opened his eyes.

His gasped when he saw who was sitting next to him “Daesung-sunbaenim?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few notes here:
> 
> First of all, I am leaving tomorrow, going to Japan where I will be gone for a week to meet my boyfriends parents. Their will not be an update of the main story of Hidden omega, but there might be a chapter of a small SHINee story following this universe, since I have a 10 hour flight and a 4 hour overlay in Moscow. It's really about how tired I am while flying!
> 
> Secondly... MERRY CHRISTMAS!
> 
> Thirdly, while I have promised myself I wont start another multiple chaptered story before I finished this one I thought I would give you a little sneak peak of the two stories that I am going to choose between when finish.
> 
> 1) A cross between Swordart online and Assassins creed, this is a crossover and multiple pairings fic between Got7 and BTS, we will get to see BTS and Got/ as rivaling Asassins crew who are slowly falling in love
> 
> 2) A Cross between Mortal instruments and the demon aspect from Dragon age, this is also a crossover multiple pairings fic between Big Bang and BTS
> 
> Both of these stories have a very wide background and stuff like that, but for now I will just tease this ^^


	13. The amazingness of a GD crafting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so late omg... Merry Christmas!

Namjoon could feel the panic well up in him as he saw Daesung sit next to him, what had he done? He knew that they got accused of copying Big Bang a lot, but he never thought that it would attract the attention of Big Bang themselves. He should bow? Omg! He should really bow, he tried to sit up to bow to the omega in front of him.

 

It really didn’t work out for him, he was still way to weak and instead of bowing he ended up kinda just flopping back into his pillow with a high pitched whine that really didn’t fit his vocal cords.

 

Daesung just looked shocked at him quickly reaching out to help his fellow omega. He really should have seen this coming shouldn’t he? He always forgot how the younger groups saw him… Saw them. You would think that he at this point had gotten used to being a ‘legend’, but to be honest he still felt the same as he did when he debuted. Okay maybe a little less awkward on a good day, but mostly the same.

 

“Please don’t strain yourself, I am going to get kicked out if you do. And your doctor is scary, so let’s please not anger her.” He tried to calm the younger rapper, putting a what he would like to believe was a soft hand on Namjoon’s shoulder to push him back down onto the bed.

 

Then again, he was in a pack with 4 alpha’s and no other sub genders. Pair that was his more muscular build and gentle didn’t really come naturally to him no matter what his own sub gender was.

 

The blue haired omega looked over his fellow idol in the bed, when he had been asleep it had been clear how underweight and unhealthy the younger was, but now that he was awake it had never been more clear. He had to admit he hadn’t known much about the BTS leader until a few hours ago. They had all followed the success of newer groups, and both Jiyong and Youngbae seemed to enjoyed BTS’s more hip hop based music, but Daesung had only looked over it briefly.

 

All of the older generation groups had a soft spot for omegas, especially male ones. That was what happened when almost no omegas had been put into groups when they were formed. Daesung was lucky, had he presented earlier he would probably have been kicked out. At least they weren’t Super Junior, two omegas in a group of 13 was a hard one to swallow for a pack. Atleast generation had gotten less terrible, now male omega’s were celebrated, and companies tried to put as many into groups as possible.

 

That didn’t stop most older groups for having a soft spot and wanting to protect them, especially in a case like this. While he knew that he hadn’t gotten a full story, but he had heard the gist of it and he couldn’t just do nothing about it anymore. Even if he was sure it was much worse than what he had heard. He also felt a bond with Namjoon in a way he knew the feeling that Namjoon was going through. He knew that BTS desperately needed another omega and that Namjoon even if he didn’t know, would feel pressured to join his own groups pack to help. The same pressure that Daesung had felt so many years ago, he didn’t want Namjoon to make the same mistake he made and he didn’t know what it was about the tall omega but he just felt this need to protect him. 

 

Namjoon looked with eyes still big at Daesung who just smiled at him not sure what to say. Namjoon couldn’t even think of why he would be in his hospital room, let alone treat him this gently. “If we have done something Daesung-sunbaenim, I apologize. We never meant any harm and we all look up to you very much.” He looked at the floor instead of at the blueberry smelling omega, feeling he didn’t deserve to look at him.

 

Daesung kinda wanted to just pick up the much taller omega and cuddle him to death. He himself had had low points in his life and at one point where he felt that he was useless. But he always had the support around him. He couldn’t imagine having reached Namjoon’s point and not have done something stupid and dramatic.

 

“You haven’t done anything at all, I just wanted to talk to you.” He still had a light press on Namjoon’s shoulder, worried that he would try and move again.

 

Namjoon didn’t move though, he just looked confused like couldn’t understand why Daesung took any interest in him. He hadn’t done anything other than just being a useless piece of garbage. But no matter how confused he was, the light scent of newly plucked blueberries did help him, it made him relax. He always wondered why omegas had that effect on him, it was like he was dehydrated and whatever omega was near him was the first water he had seen in days.

 

He had to control himself hard not to nuzzle into the tempting scent of Daesung’s arm so close to his head. Daesung almost cooed at Namjoon’s almost starved reaction to his scent, but then he frowned. Didn’t BTS have an omega? He knew BTS had an omega, the short dancer? Jimin? Why did Namjoon seem to be scent starved? Even if he hadn’t presented?

 

God, it was good that Jiyong had at least been pessimistic about this whole thing. After Seungri had told them about how he ran into the underweight Namjoon at an award ceremony. He had noted that not only did the BTS leader look very thin, he had also instantly reacted like a scent starved omega when Seungri accidentally ended up a little bit too close to him.

 

“Namjoon, I have something for you.” He reached for the bag in front of him pulling up… Five dolls? Then Namjoon noticed what they were. They were 5 nursing dolls. He had read that when babies were born either prematurely or had to be separated from their parents for any reason. The dolls were specially made so they had the same ability as  an omega to absorb scent. The parent’s could put their scent on it, making it so the babies always had their parent close to them. He took a closer look dolls, they all looked very different from the dolls that he had seen in the article. The one that Daesung was giving him first had it’s hair colored in a blue color, and instead of the normal dot eyes, they were drawn with sharpies like little smiles. Was this… supposed to be Daesung?

 

With a weak hand he took the doll given to him and couldn’t stop himself from burying his face in its soft texture, it smelt like Daesung. Daesung wanted to chuckle over how cute the younger omega looked but it also kinda hurt his heart seeing a follow omega so scent starved. He was lucky enough to have a pack that even after this many years, still thought a day should be started with scenting.

“It was Jiyongs idea. We knew that a lot of different packs are going to court you and you might not feel comfortable having any of their scent near you. We thought that you would feel you were having to pick a side in it, at least that is how I would feel. Don’t ask why we have them. I don’t even know and I’m not sure I want to know. 10 years of living with them and sometimes I feel like it’s just better not to question it.” He tried to keep his tone as chipper and positive as possible, he didn’t want to stress Namjoon. They still had to have a less than happy conversation.

 

Namjoon looked shyly at Daesung. He wasn’t really sure what to correct respond to being gifted with somebody's scent when you looked up to them. “Are you sure this is okay, I don’t want to be disrespectful.” Daesung was at a point in his life where he was sure that all rappers were bipolar. Both Jiyong and Seunghyun made a full 180 in personality when they got off stage and it seemed that Namjoon did the same. He liked this Namjoon though. The tall omega was soft and fluffy like this, his galaxy colored hair a much lighter version of what Daesung himself was currently sporting.

 

“Of course it’s okay, we all agreed on it. That is why there is one from each of us. I did promise Seungri I would tell you that his smells the best but I wouldn’t take his word on that. If you want a classic alpha smell I would take Seunghyun’s, but if you just want to feel calm I would recommend Youngbae. He is like calm in a bottle.” Daesung had never really seen himself as being an especially intimidating person, he left that to Jiyong who seemed to enjoy scaring younger idols with his presence, so the omega wasn’t really sure how to make Namjoon relax completely in his presents. Then again with everything he had went through maybe there would be a very long time before Namjoon relaxed around anybody.

 

Namjoon reached for the doll who had gotten the sides none to gently ripped of and dyed a blond color to represent the short vocalist’s signature mohawk. He also noticed at the same time as Namjoon, that Jiyong seemed to have cut off the doll's feet and both omegas let out a giggle. “I’m sorry about that,” Daesung giggled “Jiyong likes to bully Youngbae about being short. Which is weird since he is short himself.”

 

Namjoon took the chance to bury his head in the new doll instead. Freshly washed linen invaded his nose. He could see what Daesung meant by it being a calming smell, he was pretty sure that if they could bottle this scent they could cure panic attacks. “177 isn’t that short.” Only 4 cm shorter than him.

 

This time Daesung let out a full bodied laugh like Namjoon had told a joke. “It’s kinda cute you know his official height but that is also completely false. Even fans at this point have realized that he needs some serious insoles to even cross 170.”

 

Namjoon couldn’t keep in another giggle at the thought of his idol being that short. He took the pink haired doll next, crude tattoos was drawn over it. It was clear whoever made these failed basic art class. He didn’t even have to put it up to his face to notice the strong scent of chili radiating from the doll like an aggressive cloud trying to grip unto anything it could. Daesung smiled as he saw him move onto the next doll, this one with a head of oddly colored blond hair and the word idiot written over the face. Yeah Jiyong had had way too much fun with this it seemed. The younger omega seemed confused as he brought the doll to his nose, the scent of candy apples invading his senses a very very sweet scent for an alpha.

 

He didn’t even have to ask before Daesung answered. “Seungri likes to call himself alpha light, his scent is light like that. It’s very nice though, fits him very well.” He couldn’t stop a fond smile from finding its way onto his face at the thought of his pack. Daesung was very pretty when he smiled like that Namjoon decided. He wasn’t classically pretty, especially not for an omega, but he was very pretty Namjoon decided. Was that how he smiled when he thought of BTS? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t even sure that anybody in BTS smiled like that.

 

Namjoon reached for the last doll, this one had a crude joker smile drown onto it and it’s hair was left alone to show a normal brown color as this was supposed to resemble Seunghyun. Leather. Of course he smelt like leather Namjoon thought, Seunghyun had a classic alpha look so of course he had a classic alpha smell as well.

 

“Are you sure I can keep them, I don’t... “ He wasn’t even sure what it was he didn’t want to do anymore. It just… felt like too much, Daesung wasn’t even supposed to know who he was!

 

Daesung reached up to instead ruffle his hair up. “Of course, I’m pretty sure everybody is would get very offended if you refused.” It was meant as a joke, but the way Namjoon’s eyes went comically large at the word offended... yeah he should have expected that.

 

It seemed to be the time to actually talk to Namjoon about the real reason he was here. “Namjoon how much do you know about how Big Bang formed as a pack and our pack dynamics?”

 

Namjoon, having gone back to hugging the Youngbae doll, instead thought for a second. “You have 4 alphas and 1 omega. T.O.P-sunbaenim is the pack leader and you guys don’t like to talk about it in interviews.” He tried to remember more, but very little came up. “There was rumors when you presented… two years into BigBang, that you guys weren’t going to be a pack.”

 

Daesung nodded at everything Namjoon said. “The reason that the rumor started was that I presented over a year late and Seungri had already presented alpha at this point. People expected me to present beta, and a pack can’t work without an omega. It’s hard enough to work without an beta, but it is impossible to work without an omega.” Namjoon nodded, he hadn’t followed Big Bang that closely back then and first only really found out about the drama later on. Daesung continued his story.  “Luckily I presented as an omega and only 2 hours after presenting did I take the bite. I was so stupid, I didn’t understand how important that decision in my life was.”

 

Namjoon kinda felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. The Big Bang pack was always the pack he looked up to for always being there for each other. It was Namjoon’s version of a fairytale and now the idea that they might not be happy with each other as he expected, was kinda mind crushing for him. Like as if his parents had told him that they were splitting from their pack. “You regret joining the pack?”

 

The blue haired omega looked confused for a second. “Oh no, that was not what I meant. I love my pack. But I want you to understand that what I did was brash and childish. I didn’t know if I would have fit into the pack. Had we another omega it would have been different, I would have taken my time. I would have thought about it. But I felt my pack needed me, they needed an omega. So I made the decision to take the bite and while it ended up being the right decision for me, it could very easily have gone badly and ended up hurting all of us.”

 

Namjoon knew what Daesung was saying, he knew that he was right. He would have wanted Daesung to be happy and he would have wanted it even if it wasn’t with Big Bang. He understood that what Daesung did was brash and not thought through, but the situations weren’t the same. He wasn’t Daesung, “I understand, but they need me.”

 

Daesung just smiled a sad smile “A lot of groups need an omega? Does that mean that groups with more should be taken from their packs to be put with another? Being a pack isn’t a job, it’s not part of being an idol. A pack is what you go home to when you are done being an idol for the day. You are BTS leader and you do a good job as that, but it isn’t your job to complete their pack. I know it’s hard to understand because it took me years to understand it myself. But I don’t want you to make the same mistake I did and join the pack without being sure, just because you feel that they need you.”

 

He grabbed Namjoon’s bigger hand in his own to hold it softly, “I know this is hard, but you deserve a chance of happiness and I’m not saying that you can’t end up with them. But you should give other people a chance, as far as I am aware of, you have a lot of other friends who would probably love to have you in their pack. Just give them a chance?”

 

Daesung was touching him… a member of Big Bang was touching him… holding his hand.  He wanted to fanboy but managed to hold it in. It didn’t really seem appropriate at this moment. Also… He had a point, he always just felt that he owed it to BTS, he never thought that there was another way. Did other groups even want him there? Then he remembered last time he had been in the Got7 house. Jinyoung had called him their omega. He hadn’t even presented at that point but he still made it seem like they would want him. Now that he was actually an omega, did that still count?

 

Yoongi had said that they had just used him, but was that true? He didn’t think that Yoongi would ever lie to him, but maybe Yoongi had gotten it wrong? And both Daesung and Bang PD-nim said that he should look at other packs as well. Was this really okay? Could he do this?

 

He knew that… He could be happy with another pack, he could, he just never thought it was an option. Never thought anybody else would want him. Maybe he was wrong. “I can do that, I can give them a chance.” Namjoon wanted to say that he wasn’t sure that anybody wanted him but the way that Daesung spoke made him have hope. Hope that there was a better future ahead of him.

 

“Oh that reminds me of something!” Daesung exclaimed from his spot still holding Namjoon’s hand. “Can I have your number?”

 

Namjoon felt like he was in some kind of dream, did the older omega just ask for his number? This felt like the start of a very weird wet dream he had when he was younger. He felt the need to actually pinch himself. What did Daesung even want his number for? Luckily Daesung seemed to understand how his request pulled out of thin air like that was a bit weird.

 

“You need somebody around you that actually cares about you and doesn’t want to join their pack. I think you might need somebody to show you what being an omega really means, somebody you can talk with. I want to be that person for you, if you will let me?”

 

Did Daesung actually expect Namjoon to say no? Did he not know how much Namjoon looked up to Big Bang? How most young idols looked up to Big Bang? “I’m not sure where my phone is, I’m not even sure which hospital I’m in.”

 

“That is understandable, maybe just give me your number? And then I can send you a text that you can see when you find it again?” Namjoon nodded and rambled out his number. Luckily a heart attack didn’t seem to affect his memory, that was good. He wasn’t really sure what he would do if it had.

 

Daesung smiled brightly at him sending a text to the number, he looked like he wanted to say something more, but their conversation was interrupted by a loud yell that clearly belonged to BTS’s youngest alpha. “GET THAT NEEDLE AWAY FROM ME! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! HANDS OF OLD MAN!”

 

Daesung sighed at the same time as Namjoon did. The oldest exclaimed “What have you done now Seunghyun, play nice with the kids.”

  
But with how out of character Jungkook had been acting lately, Namjoon had a feeling that this one might be all on Jungkook himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO! I will be dropping two teasers to my new project plus a vote on which one people would prefer on new years eve!


	14. Who's the golden Maknae now bitch?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introduced this chapter:
> 
> B.A.P:  
> Debuted same year as Exo, was seen as Exo's rival until they had to go on hiatus while suing their company. 6 members
> 
> Zelo:  
> Maknae of B.A.P, used to be called the golden Maknae since he can dance, sing and rap. Is stupidly tall... 
> 
> TVXQ / DBSK / JYJ:  
> An very early SM group, split into two groups following an very ugly lawsuit. JYJ is not part of SM, TVXQ is! TVXQ currently has 2 members, JYJ has 3.
> 
> Junsu:  
> Maknae of TVXQ, was part of the group switching to JYJ instead

As he looked over the chaos in the hospital waiting room, Seokjin couldn’t keep himself from thinking about what landed them here. Jungkook was fighting T.O.P.-Sunbaenim yelling like a crazy person, his eyes red as his inner alpha had taken complete control. Doctor Choi was holding a syringe with sedative slowly approaching the raging baby alpha.

Seokjin had to be impressed by her. Jungkook was pumping out an immense amount of alpha pheromones, he himself wouldn’t be comfortable getting close to Jungkook now, and he was a beta in part of the youngers pack. The fact that an omega doctor gave so little shits about the danger she faced was actually kinda badass.

Worst part of it was Seokjin knew this was their fault. He looked at Yoongi next to him the short mint haired alpha looked like he had gone into catatonic shock over what was happening. They both knew they were at fault here, they had ignored this. It was now over a year since Jungkook presented. They had ignored all the signs up till now and oh how it had blown up in their faces.

It had started when Jungkook had presented and since his rut had hit at the same time, Hoseok and Yoongi had decided to bring him through it. Both alphas had at that point already been able to feel just how much underlying rage, refusing to let him near Jimin or any of the betas.

Seokjin should have known back then, he should have fucking known that something was off! He should have known that Yoongi would hold his hand over him. To protect him. His stupid fucking alpha pride! They had gone so far as a pack that he sometimes forgot that Yoongi didn’t see things like they saw it! That he was still stuck in an older mindset! Seokjin was normally a very peaceful guy, he hated violence, but he really wanted to kick Yoongi’s family’s pack in the balls, or send somebody else to do it… Yeah the last sounds like a better idea. Messing with the alpha filled pack seems like a general bad idea. Stupid traditionalist.

It didn’t stop at the rut itself. While neither of the alphas never really told anybody what happened, he had seen the marks that Hoseok was still carrying. Yoongi had refused to wear short sleeves after it for almost two weeks. When he had asked Jungkook what had happened the baby alpha had just said that it was ‘alpha business’ and that should really have been a sign just how wrong things were right? Since when did they  start having secrets from each other? And since when were those secrets based on what sub-gender you were?

It went downhill from there but none of them had wanted to admit it. None of them had wanted to see just how bad stuff had gotten, with them all working on their new album and all of them having their own solo’s. They just… ignored it.

Seokjin remembered how Jungkook had lost it and alpha ordered Namjoon. Oh god… Jungkook had alpha ordered an omega and they just let it go like it was nothing. They had fucked up hadn’t they? Not just a little, not even just a survivable amount. Jungkook had committed a crime! He alpha ordered an omega in a situation where it wasn’t needed. Where it wasn’t the omega hurting themselves or anything else, he had done it just to get information! THAT WAS ILLEGAL!

He buried his head in his hands as Jungkook fell unconscious in T.O.P-Sunbaenim arms. Two male beta nurses took the young alpha from his arms and Doctor Choi looked at the remaining BTS pack. “I know this seem like a bit much, but from my professional opinion he suffers from severe hormonale imbalance. His body is producing way too much alpha hormones and that is what is causing him to behave like this. We will check his hormone level and after that it will be as simple as taking a pill for it.”

She kept judgement out of her voice, reminding herself that she was a professional and even if this pack was dysfunctional she would treat everybody like they were equal.

Taehyung looked at her with big eyes. “That is it?”

They had all heard to horror stories of alphas getting their scent glands removed because they were too aggressive, both of the youngest remaining members of BTS had kinda expected something much worse! At the very least surgery.

Hoseok looked at both of his hyungs for an answer for the doctor, but Seokjin had his head buried and his hands and Yoongi just had this empty stare into the air. Okay it looks like that left it up to him to be the voice of reason. He kinda felt like throwing up to be honest. He never wanted to lead shit and he didn’t feel ready to make decisions but he knew he had to. “Tae and Minnie go with Kookie, we will stay here and wait for Joonie so we can talk with him when he is ready.”

Both of the younger boys just nodded, not questioning just following Doctor Choi like little ducklings. Hoseok would normally have laughed or at least smiled at the idea of the maknae line acting like little ducklings, but now everything just seemed grim. That was when Seokjin dropped a bomb “He alpha ordered an omega… we let him… “

Hoseok didn’t really get a chance to react before an almost insulted yell came from Got7’s group of huddled together members… Oh yeah he had forgotten they were still here. “ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME?!” Jackson was on his feet now staring down the hyung line of BTS.  “NOW YOU CARE? PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU AREN’T ACTUALLY THIS MUCH OF A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES!”

“Jackson...” mumbled Yugyeom grabbing the elder's hand trying to drag him back down into his seat, but Jackson was way to angry to care about being nice.

“No! They have gotten away with being disgusting dick bags long enough!” He stared at Hoseok mostly since he seemed to be the only person really listening to Jackson rant. “You guys didn’t give a fuck about alpha ordering him when he was a dud! But now that he is an omega, it’s all ‘Oh no! We are so sorry! We are BTS the most shit pack in history! We only really pretend to be caring people, because we cause our leader to run to another pack because we are destroying him mentally!’” The blond alpha heaved for breath.

That seemed to wake up Yoongi as he meet Jackson's accusing glare and Seokjin had faith in their pack alpha, that was until said pack alpha opened his mouth. “It’s different… Ordering an omega is illegal but ordering a dud isn’t.”

All 9 idols stared at Yoongi like he had just declared that he was retiring as idol to live out his long life dream of becoming a professional ballerina. What happened next was not amazingly thought through on Jackson’s part. He was just really angry and nobody was physically holding him back as he spit on Yoongi. “That isn’t illegal either, but it’s in bad taste and I shouldn’t have done it. Ass hat.”

It was like everybody in the room just froze, nobody really sure what to expect as the spit glided down Yoongi’s cheek. The mint haired alpha not even moving to remove it from his person. Both fellow BTS members kinda expected their pack leader to explode in rage, but nothing.

As the minutes snailed past them they heard a light laugh from the door to Namjoon’s room. Daesung looked over the younger idols. “Good to see that manners are still not a thing for idols when they aren’t in front of the camera. I was worried for a second that people actually knew how to behave.”

“Daesung-sunbaenim, it isn’t like that!” Jaebum tried to explain, feeling that he needed to stand up for Jackson’s behavior.

The omega just shrugged. “I don’t care. Your inner pack struggles are not my business, but here is what is. Any of you guys decide to fuck over, harm, or in anyway push Namjoon-ah into something he isn’t ready for. You can wave your career gone. Okay?” he smiled that wide smile that fans always fawned over, but it had a slight… psychotic edge to it, and the younger idols weren’t really sure if he was threatening to end their career… or their life. Though they were all sure that he was going to do something.

Hoseok never thought that he would be terrified of an omega but then again seeing Daesung's build, he was also sure they older male could probably choke him to death without any problem… Oh that was morbid, he shook his head to free his mind of the thought of the older man murdering him.

“We just want an honest chance to court him.” It came from BamBam still perched on Yugyeom’s lap.

Daesung smiled a real smile this time and patted him on the head. “Good answer and I am sure that you will get the chance. Now has anybody seen my silly pack alpha? He was meant to wait for me… but unless one of you are hiding him it seems that he has failed to do that.”

Hoseok looked over at Yoongi worried that the alpha would speak up against Daesung. Hoseok really didn’t favor dying today, but Yoongi didn’t say anything. He just sat there in almost shock with Jackson’s spit still drying on his cheek. He wished that one of his hyung’s would wake up mentally because this was all too much. “T.O.P-sunbaenim went with Jungkook when they took him away, I think he wanted to see how it ended. Jungkook… Uhm he yelled some not so nice things at him and hit him… In the face.”

Daesung just laughed lightly. “Good to know that he makes friends, let’s hope that the next time we see each other it is less tragic.” And then he just left as suddenly as he arrived.

So they just got to meet two members of Big Bang, which all of them looked up to. First one of them is punched in the face and then the second one threatens to ruin them. Neither pack really feels like they are doing to hot right now, but the way Daesung spoke about Namjoon made it sound like they had at least talked to each other. Which meant Namjoon would be okay right?

All of them were kinda deep in thought that nobody really noticed the humming of the mission impossible tone, as the OG tall as fuck maknae snuck into Namjoon’s hospital room, Zelo wasn’t really a big fan of waiting in line for people, and as he closed the door behind him he mumbled. “Who is the golden maknae now bitch? That’s for taking my title! And hitting my idol.” Before turning to watch the sleeping Namjoon with a smile on his lips. God the newly presented omega was so cute!

Outside the room nobody dared to go into Namjoon room without specific permissions from Doctor Choi. Seokjin felt like he was going to throw up, have a panic attack, or a combination of both. He needed to get out of here. He couldn’t deal with this, he couldn’t sit outside of Namjoon’s room when he felt like he had been an active reason as to why he was even in there. “I need some air.” He mumbled to nobody specific as he left the room in a hurry, leaving the BTS pack with only two members left.

Only when he was out of the hospital in the light drizzle. Rain dropped all over his makeup free skin as it was mostly misty outside and the sun had started set. He knew he couldn’t completely leave the hospital grounds it wouldn’t be safe. So instead he found the hospital garden. Sitting on the wet bench he threw his head back letting rain fall onto his face, as the tears he had been fighting finally released.

He didn’t know how long time he just sat there and cried his eyes out. He needed to let it out but he couldn’t do it around the pack. They all had to much on their minds he needed to try and be strong, he was the oldest and whatever Bang PD-nim had told Yoongi left the younger alpha in a near catatonic state, pair that with his interaction with Jackson he didn’t seem like he was going to be much help at all. He knew Hoseok didn’t want to take the reins, their happy go lucky alpha didn’t want to lead, he knew that he hated leading. He knew that he was afraid that he was going to turn into a monster he had seen other alpha’s be.

All member of BTS had their own issues that they all liked to ignore, but now it felt like all of their issues was coming up through the cracks. He thought they were good… He thought they were stable.

He almost let out a scream of alarm as a hand came to rest on his shoulder, to say he was surprised with what he saw was an understatement, behind him was… JYJ’s Junsu?! The white haired male gave a calming smile, and the omega made a hand motion towards the spot next to him, as if to ask if he could take the spot.

Seokjin knew that he should get up and bow, but he couldn’t even stop crying let alone actually get up to bow, but Junsu didn’t seem to mind. He took the spot next to Seokjin and leaned his head back like the beta. “The sky is pretty isn’t it?”

That was not what he had expected to hear at all, but he appreciated that Junsu didn’t question the unstoppable tears running down his face mixing with the rain. “Yeah.” He didn’t recognize his own hiccupped voice.

“Even though I must admit, I would have prefered if that it wasn’t raining but you seem to enjoy it huh?” His smile was light and calming, Seokjin had to confess that the older man was very pretty for being 30, his currently white hair was wet and clinging to his face, but he still had a certain childlike features, and if Seokjin didn’t know better he would actually believe that Junsu was younger than him.

Junsu’s casual good looks made Seokjin feel slightly self conscious, he hadn’t slept at all waiting for Namjoon to wake up the last 24 hours and the rain had probably made his eyeliner  from before the hospital run. Yeah he probably wasn’t the BTS power visual as he normally was. “I’m sorry about… This.” he mumbled while pointing at his face.

“Don’t fish for compliments Seokjin-ah.” the older male teased, “We both know you are good looking no matter what.”

The pink haired beta blushed as the tears finally stopped running down his face. “What are you doing here Junsu-sunbaenim? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Are we talking about the hospital or this garden specifically? I am in the hospital to get a check up.  Making sure you are healthy is something you learn to appreciate being after leaving SM,” he giggled lightly at that comment making Seokjin laugh as well, “And I saw you run past me in the hallway. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I recognized you as Seokjin from BTS, and I know how hard it is being an idol, I wanted to make sure that you… you know didn’t kill yourself.”

Junsu seemed a little embarrassed at that but only half as embarrassed as Seokjin felt. “I am sorry! I just… I needed air.” he hanged his head “Today has been a lot of stress.”

“Wanna talk about what happened?” the older rested a light hand on Seokjin’s shoulder

“I don’t want to put our issues on you Junsu-sunbaenim.” He felt that telling all his issues to somebody else was putting it on somebody wrong, he didn’t want to trouble Junsu.

Junsu just smiled at him. “You know what, somebody else’s problems sounds good right about now. If anything it would make me feel better.”

Seokjin took a deep breath, he really wanted to talk to somebody about it. Heck he needed to tell somebody, he needed to talk to somebody who wasn’t part of his pack. Hopefully somebody that would understand that even if his actions had spoken differently he wasn’t a bad guy! “We thought our leader was a dud and we didn’t… We didn’t treat him right. We all respect Namjoon, that’s his name, but we didn’t treat him right. I see that now. Back then, we never thought anything about it since his scent was off we moved him to another room, none of us had any physical contact with him unless we were forced to. We more or less treated him like he wasn’t there unless it something to do with BTS. We didn’t even treat him like a friend, the worst part is that we still claimed him as part of our pack but we didn’t accept it when he went to other packs. Like he wasn’t an sub-gender, he didn’t need to be stabilized by other people, so why would he need them? The answer to that is, because no matter what sub-gender you are, you still need people to actually love you!” Seokjin buried his head in his hands as the tears came again and Junsu rubbed his back lightly to calm him down.

“I’m sure it isn’t as bad as you make it sounds Seokjin-ah.” He tried to calm the crying beta.

Seokjin just laughed a hollow laugh. “I haven’t even told you the bad part yet! We didn’t even notice he was starving himself! We were so busy with our own shit that we missed our leader starving himself, and we don’t even know why he was doing it!”

“A lot of idols have issues with eating, I think we have all struggled with not feeling good enough.” Junsu tried to reason.

Seokjin’s rose scent was starting to have an undertone of depression in it, but Junsu wouldn’t let it be as he softly ran his hand through the beta’s pink hair to calm him down. Before the younger male felt like he keep going with his story “But how many idols have a heart attacks due to being too thin?” Another sob took over his body. “We let our baby alpha alpha order him. Well we didn’t let him but we really didn’t treat it serious enough. We just treated it like he had accidentally slapped Namjoon. Even if was a dud we shouldn’t have treated it like that! What Jungkook did was serious! Worst part is, Namjoon is an omega! A fucking omega, who is ashamed of being an omega and do you know who didn’t help him accept it?! HIS FUCKING PACK! If anything we just made it worse. How could we treat Namjoon like that?!”

“Is Namjoon okay now? I assume that is why you guys are here in the hospital?” Junsu asked in a non-judgemental tone.

Seokjin just nodded, refusing to move his head from his hands. “Yeah… But our pack is falling apart at them seams and I don’t know what to do!”

“As the resident expert in fucked up packs, I might actually be the best person you can talk to about this.” Junsu commented light heartedly, forcing Seokjin to blush. Yeah he remembered all the trouble TVXQ had had and the public surprise when it became known that they would stay as a pack. He was pretty sure that the public still didn’t know the full truth.

“We all… We all have our issues. Yoongi, that’s our pack alpha, he was raised in a very traditional pack, he has a hard time understanding that everybody is equal no matter what sub-gender they are. He sees Namjoon’s omega status as he can’t lead BTS. Hoseok, that’s our other alpha, the pack alpha in the pack he grew up in… she abused her power, he hates being an alpha. He is terrified of having to lead anything. He thinks that even getting a bit of power means that he turns into her. Jimin, that is our only omega, he struggles with body image issues. There simply isn’t enough of him to make him understand that he is amazing like he is. No matter what we do we can’t make him understand!” Seokjin hated it, he hated that they couldn’t make Jimin understand, it was like they were missing something. “Taehyung… There is something he isn’t telling us, sometimes it’s like he looks at us and doesn’t really see us. He doesn't do well with drama, especially not like this. And then Jungkook, that’s our baby alpha, he has some kind of hormone imbalance and he has more or less been raised by us, he looks up to Yoongi in a crazy fashion he is like Yoongi now. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to fix this! I am the oldest, I am suppose to fix this!”

Junsu combed his hand through the wet pink locks. “Seokjin-ah, it isn’t your job to fix everybody. And you said you all had issues? So what is your’s then?”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, a little self promo! I have put out two new teasers for two different stories! they are called: Brace the storm and Last defense of the human race! You can vote which one you would prefer me to write!


	15. Reasons why omega's are awesome! Also known as Zelo is a hoe! A hoe for omega's!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Junhong is Zelo's real name for people who wanted to know... It took me 36 tries to upload this chapter...I counted... It's 7 am... I need sleep

Namjoon woke up to somebody nuzzling into his scent gland. At first he could feel panic gather up in his body, but then the scent of sweet sakura flowers hit him and he knew who had taken residence over him. When did he even fall asleep?

Oh yeah then he remembered, he had started feeling drowsy right after hearing Jungkook yelling, and one yawn was all it took for Daesung to tell him that it was time for him to sleep. At first he wanted to refuse he felt that it was rude for him just to go to sleep with somebody here but Daesung had just smiled at him before he had started to calmly card his fingers through Namjoon’s galaxy dyed hair lulling the younger omega to sleep with his sweet smell and soft touch.

He finally managed to open his eyes. God why was it so hard to open his eyes, he has done nothing but sleep lately! It really shouldn’t be this hard to wake up! As he opened his eyes he was meet with… just a head of blond hair as Junhong still was just cuddling him with his head buried in his neck, “Junhong what are you doing here? Isn’t it Daehyun’s heat right now?”

Him and Junhong weren’t the closest, but Namjoon could call him friends, personally he was closer with Yongguk yet he would count most of B.A.P as his friends.

Junhong gave a lick to Namjoon scent gland, sending a full body shiver through him before the blond omega seemed to be happy. “Yup! The plan was originally to send Yongguk over but since you are banned from seeing alphas alone and Yongguk has the best knot. Also I lost to straw pull so you are now stuck with me instead. Which while I love omegas and heat, I am not regretting it that much. I get to be one of the first to smell you other than Daesung-sunbaenim!” He was now sitting up, which was getting increasingly weird for Namjoon since he was perched right on Namjoon’s lap. But then again, through all the time he had known the younger omega, Junhong had never really understood what personal space was, especially not with omegas.

He still remembers trying to have a serious conversation with Daehyun before the then newly presented Junhong had wrapped his arms around Daehyun and started to gnaw at the older omega’s scent gland. As both Namjoon and Daehyun had stopped the conversation for two very different reasons. Junhong had just looked at them “Something wrong?” He had asked with a raised eyebrow like he had done nothing at all.

After that he had kinda just learned to live with the fact that Junhong had no sense of personal space, and had a weird love for omegas. “How did you even find out that I was here? I didn’t think it would go public this early.”

“Oh it didn’t. Jackson wrote to Jiho, who wrote to Shownu, who wrote to me!” He seemed way to happy about it, and Namjoon just seemed mostly confused as to why so many people would care what had happened to him.

“What are you doing here Junhong? I am not going to die. You could have waited until after Daehyun’s heat or until I was out, you didn’t have to trouble yourself like this.” He hated the idea of him being in the hospital inconvenienced his friends and forced Junhong not to be with his mates during a heat like this.

Junhong crossed his arms, making sure that he was resting his weight on his legs instead of on Namjoon’s hips. He had to admit it had been a time since he had seen the now presented omega. Both had been preparing for comebacks and with Namjoon thinking that a comeback meant ‘I must lock myself in the studio and not see sunlight, because inside I am really a vampire no matter how tan and pretty my skin is’. They didn’t get that much time together but damn why had everyone let him get this skinny?

He knew that manners were a thing that you were meant to have, but had nobody thought that force feeding was a thing? He knew that Namjoon was independent and when he put the leader personality on he wasn’t to be argued with, but still! Force feeding! It was very simple! He pouted at the male under him trying his best to look cute. “You know it’s not trouble! You know that we would do anything if you just… you know… texted us back… or called back… Or at least sent a fire signal to tell us you weren’t dead!”

It hadn't meant to sound as accusatory as it did, but Namjoon was very well known for being unable to text back because he was a silly silly panda. “I’m sorry, I have been busy!”

“Don’t apologize!” Junhong teased. “Just maybe pick up your phone next time. It’s hard enough that the rest of us give our dear pack alpha enough grey hairs, let’s try not to give him any more.” He laughed messing up Namjoon galaxy dyed bed hair even more. “That reminds me! Welcome to the ‘Oh My God I Am Way Too Tall To Be An Omega Club!’” He had already decided that he wasn’t going to bring up the reason that Namjoon was in the hospital.

While Namjoon was still shorter than Junhong, but then again at 187 cm most people were shorter than him. He could still appreciate the older omega’s height, he had around 1 cm on both Yongguk and Himchan which him and Namjoon had a lot of fun reminding the two oldest B.A.P members of. Namjoon let out a light laugh that bordered on a giggle. Aww he was so cute! How did none of them guess that he was really an omega? Actually, it was the rapper personality! Damn rappers! Okay he was a rapper himself, but that didn’t count! Always being dark and hot while on stage and then fluffy off stage!

“I didn’t know ‘The Way Too Tall To Be An Omega Club’ was a thing.” Namjoon smiled at Junhong.

“Well that is because it’s very exclusive, right now the only real members are you and me. The main point of the club is making fun of alpha’s who are shorter than us!”

“Aren’t you one of the tallest idols in general?”

He stuck out his tongue in what he hoped was a cute movement. “After Kris ran away from the evil slave masters of SM, yes I think. YOU ARE ALL TINY CREATURES BOW DO...!” He never managed to finish the sentence before Namjoon was nice enough to finally have enough arm strength to put his hand in front of Junhong’s mouth,

“Something tells me you're aren’t meant to be here before my own group, so maybe don’t yell.” He knew that the younger omega took stuff like rules very light hearted and he didn’t believe in waiting “Junhong!” He scolded as he felt something wet lick over his palm he hurriedly pulled his hand to himself.

The smile that the taller omega send him was way to cheeky to be appropriate for a hospital, “Sorry I’m not into gagging.”

The comment made a blush form on the high point of Namjoon’s cheeks. He knew that Junhong liked to spew sexual innuendoes a lot, but they had never been directed towards him before. Everybody had always been to scared to say anything even mildly sexual towards him. Even the few times he had seen Junhong do it he had always apologised to Namjoon, but it seemed with him presenting as an omega the kid gloves were off.

And that was when he remembered. Oh god he had presented as an omega. With everybody being so nice towards him it had been easy to forget what really had happened and he didn’t know how to explain why he hated being an omega so much. He never had anything against omegas. He liked being treated like an omega sometimes, some of his best friends were omegas. Why couldn’t he accept being an omega? He couldn’t explain what was going on inside his mind, he couldn’t explain while his stomach clenches with the thought of him being an omega.

Junhong looked down at Namjoon from his place still perched on top of him. Yongguk had warned him about this, he had warned him that Namjoon might not take easily to his new sub gender. This was another reason why he was here instead of a more self controlled beta like Himchan. Junhong loved his sub gender, nobody could tell him that he was worth less because of it. He was happy as an omega and he could kick ass just as much as any alpha or beta, if anybody could convince Namjoon that being an omega was amazing it was him.

“That reminds me I have something I want to show you!” He pulled a piece of paper from his too tight to be good for his circulation in his legs pants and he waved it at Namjoon who only really managed to see the title ‘Reasons Why Being an Omega is Fucking Amazing!’

“That really isn’t necessary.” he hated the fact that Junhong had gone through the trouble of creating this for him, he didn’t want to trouble anybody.

Junhong kinda just wanted to slap some sense into Namjoon, but he felt that violence might not be the way to go about it. “The fact that you don’t think I carry this around all the time is silly! You never know when you meet a stupid alpha who needs to be informed about just how amazing omegas are and right now you are that silly alpha”

“You know I see omegas as equal, I never treated you or any other omega like they were less! I love you guys!” The thought that he had treated his omega friends like anything less than equals hurt more than he would admit.

The younger omega just laughed “That’s not what I meant, I know you respect us, but you need to respect yourself as well. I know that at 21 suddenly becoming an omega is hard and I know that old school rap has been bitches to us. But I wanted to show you the upsides to being an omega. I wanted to show you all the reason why I love being an omega! And why you should love it as well!”

Namjoon just nodded, he didn’t know how to answer, he never put much thought into being an omega at all. Other than what he was taught in health class; They need more physical contact than other sub genders, they are able to become pregnant, they had sweeter scents and stuff like that.

“Number one! Cuddles! The best thing about being an omega is that everybody is up for giving you cuddles. You want a hug, just walk into the living room and look slightly pouty and everybody will fall over themselves to feed your need! This works on everybody, not just alphas, both betas and fellow omegas are always ready to help! I know it sounds weird, but you can’t deny that you love cuddles, hugs, and physical contact! And when you are an omega, everybody is ready to give it to you without you even asking for it!”

Namjoon had to admit that he had a point, he loved cuddles and hugs. That was why he had loved spending time with Got7 so much, they had given him hugs and cuddles without him having to ask. Now that he was an omega… would he have the same as Junhong? Alphas who were always ready to wrap an arm around him when the weird voices in his head became to much? Betas who would lovingly pet his hair when he was struggling with a rap. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“Number 2! People don’t expect us to be badass! So when we are, because of course we are, they get even more impressed by us! Which I know sounds like a negative that they don’t expect it out of us but since we don’t even have to try to be badass we just are. We seem even more amazing without even trying!”

That one really didn’t seem to make too much sense to Namjoon, if he were to be completely honest with himself. But he knew better than to try and argue with Junhong, “Number 3! Other omegas!” Yeah Namjoon should have seen this coming… Junhong had an omega fetish. He wasn’t even sure if that was a real fetish, but if it was… Junhong had it. “Stop with that face it is important! You will learn this now you are one of us! First of all since you are also an omega, no other omegas are around you same age, which that point is important... Maybe don’t do this with the SNSD omegas or Heechul... Maybe Daesung, but that is  because apparently he has a soft spot for you... What point was I making again? Oh yeah! No other omega will find it weird when you go over a hug them or stuff like that! If you were an alpha they would scream and push you away!”

“I’m pretty sure that they will still scream if you do that.” Namjoon commented.

Junhong just laughed. “Well you let me do it! And lick you scent gland, so it clearly works! I don’t think I have had a real conversation with Baekhyun, but I have definitely made out with him. He is so little and cute! But if Lu Han comes back don’t try that with him! He slapped my ass! HARD! Devil omega!”

“You are kinda of a hoe Junhong, what would your fans say if they knew?” he teased.

Which did earn him a light slap. “Don’t call me that! Which brings me to point number… Four? Yeah let’s say it’s number four! Fan’s love us! With the new change in people’s views and a lot of our fans are omega’s as well, they love omega idols! It’s a little weird when younger girls call me their son, but I learned to live with it! Alphas have to pretend to be stoic and shit! We can be happy and shit! And people love us for it! And omega fans aren’t as shy around us!”

He never thought about that. Jimin was one of their most popular members and their fans loved him more than Namjoon could even start to explain. Many of the fans were more hesitant to meet Jungkook after he had presented as an alpha, now that Namjoon was an omega would fan like him more? While he definitely still had fans before, they were alway more hesitant to say hello to him, with his scent being off and him not having a sub gender. There had been fans who were rude to him, but they have all had their share of rude fans before so nothing special about that, but… Could he get to connect more with armys now? Would they like him better as an omega?

“Junhong… Can you tell me what my scent is?” He was hesitant to ask, but he really wanted to know.

The taller omega smiled at the comment. “Peaches and cream! Actually, isn’t that from your rap in your guy’s new song? You showed us your rap and I’m pretty sure it had peaches and cream in it!”

“Yeah.” He couldn’t stop a giggle this time, he didn’t know why he had chosen peaches and cream for his rap, but now it was just kinda funny.  

“Wait! Don’t distract me! Number five! Heats! I know that people are negative about heats but they are actually the best thing ever! You get to have it exactly how you want it! You want somebody to eat you out while somebody else plays with your nipples and make out with you? Cool you get it! It’s the one time nobody says no to you! You want them to finally stop acting like you are made of glass just because you are the maknae and finally double penetrate you? Heats! You want your fellow omegas to go insane over just how good your slick smells? Heats! You want everybody to be all over you? Heats! And knots, don’t even get me started on getting knotted while you are in heat! While knots are amazing always, being in heat it’s even better! Your scent while in heat is even more powerful and the alphas will do everything to give it to you as much as possible, it’s amazing!” Junhong sighed in memory, Namjoon felt he now had a permanent blush on his face. He could feel how his body was heating up, other than that moment with Mark, this was the first time people had someone actually talk about sex in front of him like this. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining what Junhong was saying, he couldn’t stop himself from imagining him being the omega, even though it was clear that the blond omega hadn’t meant to talk this much about it, but he had kinda just got carried away when he started talking.

“Please stop it Junhong.” He mumbled while looking away, since Junhong was in his lap he would be able to feel if Namjoon got… a little to interested in what he was saying, yeah Namjoon knew what that heat in his body was.

Of course it didn’t stop Junhong, this was his domain. “What’s wrong Joonie? You like that? You like thinking of how good we are all going to take care of you when you go into heat?” Was the hospital the right place for this? NOPE! But give him a hand and he will take an entire arm! That was basically the story of his life!

Namjoon whined high in his throat, shaking his head while trying to hide his face with his arm, he didn’t want to show Junhong just how much he liked it, but then Junhong lightly rocked in his lap getting another whine from Namjoon. “I think you like it, I think you like knowing that we are all going to take such good care of you, not just us, but I know that the guys from Got7 are going to as well. They are all out there right now, they would be so jealous if they could see what was going on here.” He teased, Junhong was now leaning forward in Namjoon’s lap so he could whisper the filth into Namjoon’s ear, he licked across the now exposed scent gland, this time Namjoon couldn’t keep in a moan.

Junhong was now rocking into Namjoon’s lap in a steady pace creating friction between them, as he licked Namjoon’s scent gland before he went back to Namjoon’s ear. “I can’t wait to find out what get’s you going. Are you really into foreplay? Or will you get whiny and loud if I keep teasing you too long? I really like to eat people out, omegas especially, we taste so good. I am going to lap it all up, before your slick can even leave your body! I might have to fight Himchan for it though, I swear he would live in Daehyun’s ass if it wasn’t for us dragging him away. He is amazing with his tongue.” He licked the outer shell of Namjoon’s ear. “He can get you off so easy with it if he decides to be merciful. A few weeks ago he decided I was a brat and he tied me down and used his tongue on me for what felt like hours. Youngjae ended up dragging him off me because he was worried that Himchan wouldn’t be able to sing after it. Joonie it was so amazing, he didn’t let me cum but it felt so good, I don’t even know how much slick I produced it was insane, I would have lost my voice screaming if it hadn’t been for the gag. I can’t wait to hear what kind of sounds you are going to produce when you get close. You are going to be so amazing, with that voice of yours you are going to sound so good aren’t you? You are going to sound so good for us?”

He bit Namjoon’s ear gently as Namjoon nodded, but that wasn’t good enough for Junhong. “Word’s Joonie, I want to hear you say that you are going to sound so good for us, I want to hear you baby. I know you can’t be loud right now or we would have 5 alphas a little to interested in it, and that is a little too early for you.”

Namjoon didn’t want to say anything first, he didn’t want to embarrass himself, but he always wanted to do what the other omega asked him to, it felt so good, and he didn’t want Junhong  to stop moving in his lap “I am going to sound good for you.”

“Good boy” Junhong grinned into his ear, he was impressed with how easy Namjoon went with this, but then again the newly presented omega probably didn’t have a lot of experience before and it probably would take all 5 of the packs a long time before they had put Namjoon back in a spot where his body wasn’t crying for other people. Yeah Junhong knew just how many packs wanted Namjoon not that he could blame them. He did blame Namjoon for being so likeable though, but him being the first here hopefully helped him.

Junhong could feel himself getting close as well, he liked how Namjoon was panting under him while Junhong was licking, kissing, and biting at his scent gland. The shorter omega’s scent wasn’t as heavy as other omega’s scents were when they were aroused, but Junhong was sure that it was just temporary and luckily Namjoon’s body was more than happy to show him just how close he was without having to rely on his scent. “You are so close aren’t you Joonie?” He mumbled in his ear.

“Yes please!” Namjoon felt like his mind was going blank, he wasn’t focused on anything other than what Junhong was telling him. He couldn’t concentrate on anything, he was so close! “Then come,” and Junhong then gave him an intense bite over his scent gland. Not enough to draw blood but enough to send extreme pleasure rolling over Namjoon’s body as he came. Junhong’s hand holding back the loud moans that he couldn’t suppress. Junhong felt himself tip over the edge just a few seconds after Namjoon panting into his neck.

They both kinda just laid there for a second before a giggle took over Junhong’s body. “Jongup is going to kill me.” He giggled into Namjoon neck.

Feeling light and happy after his orgasm Namjoon joined in the giggling, wrapping his arm around the younger’s bigger body to hold him close, sweet scent flowing over them. None of them noticed the door opening before Doctor Choi commented. “You guy’s are aware that Mr Kim is wearing a heart rate monitor right?” But her tone and smile was kind, forcing both of the omega’s into another round of giggles.

In the other end of town Seokjin was working in the BTS dorm kitchen. After his meeting with Junsu he knew he couldn’t go back to the hospital and the omega left him with this need to bake chocolate chip cookies. Hopefully it would make the rest of BTS happy, and he wanted Junsu to try them as well. He clenched his hand around the piece of paper with the elders name.

Shortly after Seokjin left Yoongi had as well, now standing on top of the hospital roof. Wind and rain had now picked up ripping in his clothing and hair while he looked to the dark sky. He was conflicted. He was being forced to pick between two parts of himself, either music which is his life… Or the person he was raised to be. He felt like agreeing to therapy meant agreeing to give up on his past, meant giving up who he was? Was he losing himself to this hard mainstream music industry?

Hoseok sad alone in the hospital room, the rest of his pack having left him. He felt like he was drowning. He had to make decisions now. What if those decisions made him be like her? Was he strong enough not become her? He didn’t know the answer.

Jimin was holding an unconscious Jungkook’s hand as he waited for the younger alpha to wake up. He leaned down to give Jungkook a kiss on his forehead. The image of the dirty look both Big Bang members had sent their baby alpha as the left, was seared into his mind. He knew that he should have defended Jungkook but he just couldn’t... He couldn’t make more excuses for him, he loved him… but sometimes that wasn’t enough.

Jimin hadn’t even noticed that Taehyung had snuck away, he couldn’t be there anymore. The smell of hospital burned in his nose and he couldn’t do it anymore. It brought up memories that he couldn’t deal with, that he wasn’t ready to deal with. And with two members of BTS in the hospital, oh god no he couldn’t think about, this was all his fault. Stupid useless beta… Tears ran down his face as he ran through the darkened city, luckily his destination was close by, a place that he could find in his sleep. A place he always felt safe, the only place where there were no secrets. As he knocked on the door, body shaking from his rain soaked clothing he finally felt like he was able to breathe. He could see the light being turned on in the dorm and he knew that the door would open soon. And he was right, as Woozi opened the door the short alpha found his arms full of a crying and drenched Taehyung. He closed his arms around him as he heard Taehyung saying that it was all his fault, that he was a stupid useless beta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woozi is the leader of the Seventeen vocal unit for people who don't know!
> 
> I debated using NCT or Seventeen for the longst time, but I wanted to use nct for my exo spinoff... I am Tenny / JohnTen trash... So much...


	16. Oh god... What have I done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL! If you guys could take my Big Bang poll that would be nice, it has nothing to do with this story, but I am trying to prove that I am right, they are super simple one question polls.  
> http://www.strawpoll.me/12072078  
> http://www.strawpoll.me/12072104
> 
> Also... yeah the story is slowly moving along! And I have finally figured out the ending, I know who wins Namjoons heart!!!

 

Doctor Choi had noticed Junhong sneaking into Namjoon’s room, but she had decided to let him. After spending 30 years as a doctor she would like to believe that she was good at judging people’s characters, and she didn’t find the very tall omega to be threatening in any way. He kinda just felt like a very very over sized puppy to her, an oversized puppy with an agenda. So she let him sneak in, she had a good feeling about him.

When she saw Namjoon’s heart monitor slowly rising, she knew what was going on and she shook her head laughing quietly to herself. Oh kids, she could remember when she was that young, she had to admit they moved a lot faster that they did in her time, but who was she to judge!

She did her duties before returning to Namjoon’s room, she had to admit even with his half starved body she could not deny that the new omega was a looker, not in the normal idol way, but he had something about him.

While Namjoon seemed shy about the fact that she knew what they had been doing, the tallest of the omega’s just seemed proud. “Visiting hours are long over, I have sent everybody else home and it’s time for you to go home as well Mr?”

“Choi, Choi Junhong,” Junhong told her, still perched on Namjoon’s lap. “I understand, may I do something first? I got a little… Distracted.” The last part he giggled out.

Doctor Choi nodded, “Yes go ahead, but I expect you to leave no matter what the answer is.” While she was pretty sure she knew what Junhong wanted to ask Namjoon, she didn’t know these two’s friendship and she couldn’t expect Namjoon to say yes.

Junhong suddenly looked very serious. “Namjoon I know we aren’t as close to you as your own group, or Got7, but we are friends. You know we respect and like you for you and not just your new sub-gender. We don’t need a new omega we have a perfect balance with all the sub-genders, but we would like you. We could love and respect you in the way you need. You are a great leader of your group and you are nice and soft when you need to. Would you allow us to court you?” He cringed inside, it didn’t come out right and he didn’t get to say all the things he had been told to say. It more or less just became word vomit.

Namjoon’s first instinct was to think that Junhong wasn’t being serious and that he was simply making a joke on Namjoon’s account. But then he remembered Daesung’s and Bang-PD’s words to him, that combined with blondes hopeful facial expression made Namjoon think that this was actually real. He was actually asking him… Namjoon… If they could be allowed to court him.

Did he want to be courted? Could he see himself joining the B.A.P pack? Could he be happy with them? What about BTS? No, he promised that he would let himself be open to other packs, and he could see himself being part of the B.A.P pack. He liked all the members. He liked the fact that even after all the drama with their label, that they all seemed to support each other. He could see himself with them… He would be happy with them. He nodded slowly at first, before remembering that something as important as this probably deserved a verbal response. “Yeah, I would like that… Just please be patient with me. I don’t always get these kind of things, and I still don’t really understand that I am an omega.”

And then he was attacked with a kiss, he was mostly shocked over having a way too tall boy in his arms kissing him that he didn’t even get to enjoy it or react to it. Doctor Choi laughed a soft laugh from where she was standing. “I am sorry to break this up, but it’s time for you to leave Mr. Choi and time for me to talk a little with you Mr. Kim.”

Junhong just nodded, he still felt happy that Namjoon had actually agreed to letting them court him. He thought he had botched it with his poorly worded speech vomit. He jumped off the bed giving Namjoon another quick kiss heading for the door, before he took his leave he turned around in the door entrance and smiled at Namjoon. “Please text us when you get out of here, or we will just assume that you died and prepare for your funeral.” He stuck his tongue out at Namjoon before leaving the doctor and patient together.

“So Mr. Kim, I am Doctor Choi I will be your doctor while you are here for your stay and after. I am sure you have some questions for me, and I have some for you as well.” She sat down in the chair next to his bed.

Namjoon thought for a second, he wasn’t sure where to start he had so many questions. There was one that was more important than any other question though. “What is wrong with me?”

She sighed mentally, sometimes she hated being right. She had hoped that presenting as an omega would take the worst of the doubt away, but sadly it didn’t. “It seems like we need to take this from the start. Mr. Kim there is nothing wrong with you at all, you were always an omega. It seems to be that a toxic mindset and environment has lead your body to believe that to be able to survive you would have to be something you weren’t. This is a defense mechanism, we can track it back to olden days were packs would mate away their omegas seeing them as useless. Now that society understands that omegas are needed, and especially with the recent rise of omegas in media we see very few cases like yours, but there is nothing wrong with you.

That… Wasn’t what he expected, even after what everybody else had told him he expected some long list of all the things that was wrong with him, was this really it, no… no “There has to be something wrong with me, I… there is something in my head, it keeps… I can’t explain it.”

“That doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you, it’s your omega body telling you that you are not treating it right. Your friends have told me how most physical contact with you has been avoided, this means that your body hasn’t gotten the kind of stimulants that it needs. You have more or less starved it of that one thing that it needs… Contact. Now that it is clear for everybody what your needs are and that your needs should be filled.While the voices and depression will take awhile to get rid of that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you.”

Namjoon felt like he couldn’t breath. There was nothing wrong with him! But why did he feel like there was, he grabbed onto one of the scented dolls next to him without even thinking about it. As he hugged it to his chest the smell of freshly washed linens washed over him, calming him. Huh, Daesung was right, it really was the most calming scent. He couldn’t look at the doctor, he felt like an idiot to be honest.

Doctor Choi didn’t push him. She could understand how he was feeling and she knew that pushing him right now wouldn’t do his mental state any good. So she pushed onto another important topic. “While you and Mr. Jung were having your fun did you produce any slick?”

She knew it wasn’t really a comfortable topic, but she was a doctor and knew that this was important, and it couldn't be ignored just because they found it awkward. Namjoon buried his head in the doll as he shook his head.

The statement made her relax her shoulders. “This is good, that means that your body has realized that you are too underweight to support a heat. Had you produced slick that meant that your body would start going into heat soon, as it is normally supposed to after presenting. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you.” She tried to stress the last part as much as she could, she had worked with suppressed omegas before, never anybody as long as this, but she knew how toxic their minds could be.

“So I am still going to have a heat at some point? I’m not broken?” Up until now he never thought that this was a thing that he was worried about, but with Junhong talking about heats and Doctor Choi mentioning it.

She smiled at him, a calming smile that made him feel a little bit of hope. “With the tests we conducted on you while you were unconscious we came to the conclusion that your body is still able to go into heat as soon you are at a weight it can support. I will also say at the the best of my expertise you will be able to carry children as well, at this point I would like to put you on birth control already today, with you career I assume that unplanned pregnancies might not be a good idea.”

Oh god, he could have kids? Oh god that was a terrifying idea, he could destroy a phone now a child? Yeah birth control sounded like a good idea. Birth control… that meant he would be having sex, real full sex? In a nest… He would be allowed in nests! His face lit up like a christmas tree.

“Do you have any more questions?” Namjoon just shook his head. For now he didn’t have anything more to say, he had already been given more than information to take in. “Then I think it’s time for you to sleep now, it has been a very long day for you, and you still aren’t done healing yet.”

Namjoon just nodded. He was tired, which seemed like it was his natural state of being recently as he closed his eyes to sleep he didn’t even notice how he cuddled closer the doll still in his hands, he was so tired.

On the other side of town Hoseok got home to an dark house, a dark house that smelt of fresh baking. At first he was happy, that meant Seokjin was home! He almost ran to the nest. He still didn’t know where Yoongi was, Jimin had been allowed to sleep by Jungkook’s side, Taehyung had disappeared as well, and he desperately needed his pack. The problem was when he arrived at their nest, the bed was cold and empty. He felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. He started searching for Seokjin, what if something had happened to the older beta!? It turned out Seokjin was fine, he was in the other guest bedroom that they never used. Hoseok didn’t know why he hadn’t just gone to sleep in the pack bed, but something stopped him from just picking up Seokjin and carry him to the nest like he normally would. Seokjin had chosen not to sleep in the nest. Hoseok walked back to the nest with his head hanging low, what was happening to them?

As he laid down to sleep he never felt this alone since they started BTS. They had promised him he wouldn’t have to lead anything, why did it feel like suddenly everybody forgot about all their promises to each other? As he closed his eyes he felt lost and cold… Their nest was close alone.

Jimin looked at the bed they had prepared for him next to Jungkook’s but he knew that he wouldn’t be using it. Instead he climbed into Jungkook’s hospital bed to cuddle closer to the young alpha who was still knocked out. He placed a light kiss to his cheek. “I know you can’t hear me Kookie, but things are going to change soon I can feel it. We are going to get you healthy and get the help you need. I’m sorry I didn’t notice how wrong things where, you have always tried to help me when I have felt bad. I’m sorry we weren’t there for you as well.” He nuzzled his head into his scent gland.

“I know this is my fault as well, I know… I know that I take a lot to handle sometimes, with my insecurities I know. But I’m going to do my best. We are going to get you fixed, and then we are going to make sure Yoongi is okay, and then get our Namjoon back, and we can all be happy again.” Jimin knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, but he had to believe! Somebody in this pack had to believe in it.

He rested his head on Jungkook’s shoulder, he couldn’t sleep there were to many thoughts in his mind, he needed to work hard to get this to work. He picked up his phone from the bedside table and opened a password protected folder called ‘motivation’. Every single one was a screenshot hate comment. He used the to make himself better, looking at them made him work harder. If he ever thought of skipping a day in the gym all he needed was to look at the pictures of anonymous people on the internet calling him fat, and suddenly it was easy to go to the gym.

“I will work hard for all of us Kookie, believe me we are going to fix all of this.” As he put his phone away, his mind finally tired out, as his eyes closed his last thought before sleeping was, I can do this for us.

Yoongi found his way into the hospital room hours later, his short skinny body was shaking and water was dripping from his mint green hair. He stroked Jimin’s cheek softly first before kissing Jungkook’s hair. “Hyung doesn’t know what to do.” He sighed, hours on the roof he still had no idea what he was suppose to do. He couldn’t understand why Bang PD-nim thought he needed therapy, there wasn’t something wrong with him! But he couldn’t give up music either, and if he was removed from BTS would he be allowed to stay in the BTS pack?

Music meant so much to him, but while he could go back to the underground he would never get the same amount of respect after having been an idol. “Don’t worry, hyung will find out the right thing to do. There is nothing wrong with you Kookie, just a little bit of hormones. Minnie even if we don’t always have the time to tell you you are amazing, our little omega.”

He left another kiss on top of both of the other males before he left the room. He stopped in front of the door to Namjoon’s room and he rested his hand on the door. “We need to talk don’t we? I am not sorry for what I did, I am sorry for what the outcome was, but I stand by what I did. We will talk, you know you belong to us. I’m going to make you see it!” He wasn’t ready to really see Namjoon yet.

Time to go home and check on the rest, he almost decided to walk before he realized that it was probably a much better idea to get an uber. Him accidentally getting killed was not going to help anybody. The smell of chocolate chip cookies hit him as soon as he entered the dorm and he wanted to stop for a second to look over what Seokjin had made. But his instincts told him that he needed to find his boys. His first stop was the nest, where he expected to find both of his boys locked in a big cuddle ball.

He turned out to be wrong, instead he finds Hoseok alone in a bed looking way too big for him. He was curled up with all of the blankets looking like an actual physical nest around him. Yoongi knew he did it to be surrendered by everybody's scent, the shorter alpha fluffs the pillows around him. “I know you don’t want to lead, but you might have to step up soon babe. I know it’s going to be hard and it will trigger some memories, but it has to be done. I trust you.”

Another soft kiss to Hoseok’s cheek before he starts searching the house for the rest of BTS. He finds Seokjin sleeping with small smile on his lips. “Hey hyung, it’s nice to see you smile. A lot of changes are going to happen, I think we both know it. I know that your anxiety is going to work against you baby, but you need to work with Hoseok to keep the kids under control and happy. I don’t know what Bang PD-nim are going to do when I refuse to go into therapy. There is nothing wrong with me Jinnie you know there isn’t.” He ran his hand through Seokjin’s soft pink hair. “Please protect them when I can’t.”

He searched the rest of the house for Taehyung, but their resident 4D was gone. Yoongi sighed. Taehyung did this, when something was very stressful or especially if one of them had to go to the hospital. He would disappear for a day or two and then come back with tons of different scents on him acting like nothing was wrong. He sighed and hoped that Taehyung was at least warm and safe. He put his shoes back on and headed for the studio he could atleast get some work done before he got put on hiatus.

Got7 was all cuddled back in their nest. Zico spooning up behind Jackson, having showed up shortly before they all got sent home. After having explained what had happened to Namjoon they had taken the Block B member back home with them. Block B’s dorm was a lot farther away than their dorm and Zico was the only member currently in Seoul. When they had gotten to the dorm they had left him alone to talk with his pack on the phone, but when he had come back he looked determined. “We have decided that we want to court Namjoon.” He said it like they hadn’t already known.

Jaebum nodded. “So have we, but no hard feelings? We all just want Namjoon to be happy.”

“Yeah, I am happy if he is, I just don’t trust BTS.” Zico helped Jackson pull off his shirt before he spooned up behind the shorter alpha.

BamBam who was currently being sandwiched by both  of the betas mumbled into Jinyoung’s collarbone. “Does any of us really? Junhong texted me, Namjoon agreed to letting them court him. He also mentioned Shownu says that they plan on asking permission as well when Namjoon is less… Surrounded by people.”

Mark laughed a little. “Wonsik says that they want to talk to him as well, that one just as friends, he seems to take anything done to rapper omega’s very personal.” They all laughed a little at that, Wonsik was a scary as fuck omega when he wanted to be.

Youngjae spoke up. “5 packs. That’s how many want to court him… Suddenly I feel better knowing that it is much less likely he will pick BTS with those odds.”

They all just nodded, tired after the long day at the hospital and one by one all the idols fell asleep.

In the studio farther away a certain mint haired alpha had found something Namjoon never wanted him to. Tears were streaming down his face as he read the lyrics ‘Oh god what have I done’

‘One morning, I opened my eyes  
And wished that I was dead  
I wish someone killed me  
In this noisy silence’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics is from Namjoon's song always! Yes... Those are actually real lyrics Joonie wrote... Can I just give him a hug?
> 
> Also Next chapter is going to focus more on Taehyung, cause it is important to me that we see all of BTS, since they are all important!


	17. Mommy's little omega

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am super late with this >-< Uni started again! I'm sorry!

Most of seventeen had gone to bed, only Mingyu, Woozi and Seungcheol was still awake. The youngest alpha had Taehyung on his lap, it had taken them over an hour to calm the beta down.

They still didn’t even know what had happened, but they all had an idea about what it could have been. “TaeTae are you ready to talk about it?”

He just shook his head burying it even more into Mingyu’s shoulder scent of pine taking over his senses.

Seungcheol knew that they couldn’t push Taehyung too fast, while he wasn’t sure what had happened he also knew that pushing him into talking too fast could also be bad for his health and mental state. “We all have tomorrow off, how about we go sleep in the spareroom and then talk about it tomorrow?”

He ran his hand through his fellow beta’s hair trying to get him to calm down. Taehyung still refused to remove his head from Mingyu’s shoulder, but he nodded in agreeance to the proposal.

Mingyu thought about it for a second before he decided that carrying Taehyung there was probably the fastest way of getting anything done. Carrying Taehyung like a toddler, the normally cheery male linked his arms behind his neck and just let himself be carried by him. Mingyu and Jihoon caged him in between them, Seungcheol spooned up behind Jihoon kissing the smaller alpha’s hair.

He looked at Taehyung between the three of them. The younger had fallen asleep between them all, dried tears were still on his face, but overall he looked more calm than he had an hour ago, but that might be because of the fact that he was sleeping.

Jihoon sighed as he buried his head in Taehyung’s hair taking in his scent. “It’s getting worse, each of his episodes are getting worse. I’m worried that he is going to do something drastic next time. Why aren’t they handling this? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against taking care of him, I like when we take care of him. But we can only help so much.” His voice was low and mumbled, but the rest could clearly hear him.

Seungcheol kissed the small alpha’s hair. “I know, but we have to be here for him, he trusts us. And with his history we should be happy that he even opened up to us.”

There was no more chatter after that, the Seventeen members instead decided on just sleeping. Taehyung didn’t know how long time he slept but when he woke up, half a head of long reddish-brown hair was tickling his face. The sweet smell of a post heat omega was surrendering him, scent of thick maple syrup trying to pull Taehyung back into the realm of sleep, “Jeonghan?”, he questioned voice rough from sleep and the crying yesterday.

He was pretty sure that Jeonghan hadn’t been there when he had gone to bed last night, he had been very out of it, but he would of been able to remember right? “Talk later, sleep now.” The omega mumbled into his neck, tightening his thin arms around Taehyung.

The beta wanted to argue, but the sweet scent tired him and yeah… sleep sounded good who could say no to sleep? The second time Taehyung woke up, was like the first. He blinked a few times to clear his vision, the first thing he really noticed was Jeonghan with his head still buried in his neck, normal pristine brushed locks in a mess on top of his head and he had a death grip on the back of Taehyung’s shirt. Tho it wasn’t in a mean kinda a way, more like, you are now my cuddle buddy and you can’t leave.

This didn’t really surprise Taehyung, he had spent enough time with Jeonghan to know the older omega just really liked sleeping and cuddling. He was the first one to always be down for a nap. Their legs were intertwined and their fronts were almost glued together. He felt so much better with the omega’s scent around him. “Jeonghan can we wake up now?” He mumbled, even if his voice didn’t seem very convincing since he was very comfortable.

Jeonghan yawned into his neck. “I can smell food, yeah it’s time to get up.” He mumbled finally letting go of Taehyung. “When did you get here last night? I didn’t know that we were having sleepovers and to be honest I am fairly offended that I wasn’t invited.

As he sat up, a loose tank top that clearly wasn’t his falling of a thin shoulder, long hair a disaster and eyes still tired, he looked like a mess… but a cute mess. He yawned not bothering to cover his mouth.

Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from giggling at the cute mess in front of him. “It was late last night…”, he looked away a little ashamed, “I needed to feel safe.” He whispered the last thing.

“Oh. More important question, why did you sleep in your jeans? They are really itchy.” Jeonghan climbed out of the bed, pulling on a loose pair of shorts that he had discarded before claiming Taehyung as his cuddle buddy this morning.

The younger couldn’t stop himself from blushing. “I… uhm… last night was bad. Mingyu carried me to bed, I kinda ran here in the rain.”

“That explains why your cloth smells like shit, shower now.” Jeonghan commanded him, not even waiting for Taehyung to answer before he lightly pulled him towards the bathroom.

As they entered the hallway, the smell of food hit him and his stomach growled. The last he ate was from the hospital vending machine and that wasn’t real food. He shook his head. He couldn’t think about the hospital, he wasn’t there anymore. He lingered in the hallway for a second wanting to follow the smell of food, but a light tug of his wrist made him follow Jeonghan the rest of the way because he was right. Taehyung really didn’t smell very nice and his still damp jeans were chaffing his thighs in a super uncomfortable way.

First when he got into the bathroom and Jeonghan showed no sign of moving out did he realize that the older had the intent of showering with him. It wasn’t like Taehyung had never showered… or did other things… with Seventeen, but Jeonghan was normally less open with stuff like that, preferring to just cuddle up to people and nap.

“I can do it myself, you don’t have to worry about me.” Taehyung mumbled ashamed looking at the ground after having pulled his shirt off.

“Then you shouldn’t look like a lost puppy then,” he messed up Taehyung’s hair, “you known we don’t mind. We like you like you are, and sometimes you need more hugs than other times doesn't matter. I have been cuddling with you so I smell like wet dog as well, which is really not a smell I want to keep.”

Taehyung just nodded, he still wasn’t convinced. He always felt bad when he came down from an episode. “Thank you.” He still didn’t look at Jeonghan.

He felt two fingers forcing the sides of his mouth up and he couldn’t stop himself from actually smiling and showing off his boxxy smile. “That is better. Now get those jeans off, I am actually itching just seeing them. You can borrow some clothes while we wash that, or burn it… I haven’t decided yet.”

“It’s Yoongi-hyung’s shirt!” Taehyung protested.

The omega didn’t look impressed by that. “That explains why it’s child sized.” His tone wasn’t hostile or mean, so it caused Taehyung to giggle. Yoongi was very small especially for an alpha. “It also explains why it stinks.”

Taehyung pouted, he liked Yoongi’s scent, but then again he was biased. “You are mean.”

The long haired male just laughed throwing his own oversized tank top at him. “You still love me.”

“That’s because you smell good!” Taehyung protested, even if they both knew that it was a lie. Jeonghan like the rest of Seventeen had a very special place in his heart.

Jeonghan just stuck his tongue out discarding the rest of his clothes, stepping into the now heated spray of water. Taehyung admired the water running down his tall thin frame for a few seconds before he quickly threw of his own clothing, almost falling over getting the still damp jeans off his legs. The bathroom was filling with steam and Taehyung could feel how the rest of the stress in his body melted out of it, before he stepped into the shower as well.

“Can I get some water also or do you want all of it?” He teased, before running a hand up Jeonghan’s wet back and ending up playing with the tips of his hair. He always liked his hair none of the guys in BTS had long hair like Jeonghan, and he himself prefered to keep his very short.

Jeonghan didn’t answer instead dragging Taehyung in front of him, so they were again front to front and incredibly close. Even though they were both naked and wet there was nothing sexual about it. Water ran over Taehyung soaking his hair, forcing him to close his eyes as he stood right in the spray.

He felt long thin hands in his hair making sure that it was completely wet, before he was pulled a little bit more away from the spray. “Let me wash your hair, stand still.” he was commanded.

With the warm water still heating most of his body he felt relaxed and calm. So he didn’t argue with the older as he started messaging scent neutral shampoo into his hair. Jeonghan was one of the people who prefered not to use any artificial scents, preferring his own and other people’s natural scents to shine through.

He just let the omega move him like he wanted to being pushed back and right into the spray closing his eyes when he was told. Then it was out again as his hair now being drenched in conditioner, Jeonghan mumbling something about stupid bleach and how he should take better care of his hair, that was kinda right wasn’t it.

As he was told that the conditioner needed to stay in awhile he opened his eyes looking at Jeonghan feeling a little shy now. “Can I do your hair now? Please?” So he really liked the omega’s hair okay? Sue him!

“You sure you can reach?” He teased

“You are one cm taller than me!” Taehyung whined, causing Jeonghan to giggle. The BTS member was not used to being teased or being short, because he wasn’t!

“If you say so shorty,” but the tone was sweet as he gave Taehyung the shampoo, “At least your idea of washing isn’t trying to actively removing it from my skull.” He sighed a pleasant noise as Taehyung gently covered his locks in shampoo.

“Vernon?” Taehyung asked, tongue half out of his mouth focusing on doing a good job.

Jeonghan nodded “Yes, omg I am never letting him near my hair ever again. He tried to braid it since he used to do it to some of the girls in his old pack. I’m pretty sure that he was trying to make me go bald instead.”

The BTS beta could easily believe that. Vernon was a really nice omega, but good at being gentle he really wasn’t. For being such a shy and cute person, he wasn’t great as being gentle. Taehyung’s own hair had been the victim with Vernon when, before he had presented, had tried to pet his hair.

The white shampoo suds were slightly turning reddish-brown as it started to grab a hold of the dye in his hair signalling that it was time for him to get it out before he washed all of the dye out. Jeonghan seemed to enjoy the hands in his hair though, as he mumbled. “You have really nice hands though, you would think that with such big hands you would be destructive.”

Taehyung blushed at the compliment as he started washing the shampoo out, and then applying conditioner. When his job was done he looked over Jeonghan and he couldn’t stop himself from giggling. He was sure that they both looked silly with conditioner in the hair and their bodies started to turn red from how hit the water was set.

“Let’s wash the smell of wet dog off you. I know you love dogs, but I promise your own scent of peanuts is much better. I feel like this is a perfect opportunity for a doggy style joke, but I think that might turn on me.” He teased as he grabbed a sponge a red bottle of soap.

“You think?” Taehyung said in a teasing zone, on this topic Jeonghan had no leg to stand on, especially since Taehyung himself had taken Jeonghan in doggy style and watched other members doing it before. “Does that mean it’s not the time for a joke about how you act like a bitch in heat the second someone puts you on your knees?”

That caused Jeonghan to blush. “Shut up.” He mumbled, but not disagreeing. He started washing Taehyung as Taehyung himself grabbed a sponge to return the favour. It turned into playing much more than anything else. Both males could be childish at times, having started to make soap beards on each other, until they heard a very insulted voice from outside the shower. “You guys started showering without me!?” Jihoon looked way too adorable for any alpha. He was wearing a tanktop that for once looked to actually be his and running shorts

“We are almost done,” Jeonghan laughed, “not my fault that you guys thought it was socially acceptable to go to the gym at shit in the morning.”

“It was 11am!” The tiny alpha argued.

“As I said, shit in the morning, is there food ready?” He asked while starting to finally get the soap and conditioner off Taehyung.

Taehyung didn’t need to look at Jihoon to know he was pouting. “Yeah food is almost ready, piggy.”

Taehyung giggled, then started coughing as water founds its way into his mouth. He could hear the tall omega exclaim. “See! You are trying to kill Taehyung! Rude alphas!”

“Shitty omegas.” Jihoon mumbled loud enough for the beta to hear, he felt a light slap on his ass. “Go and join the rest in the kitchen, your stomach is loud enough that it sounds like an earthquake and somebody has to make sure that our little pack alpha washes his ass.”

“HEY! Can we at least pretend that you respect me.” The scent of cantaloupes was spreading from the pouting pack alpha. Taehyung did as Jeonghan told him, grabbing one of the big fluffy towels to dry himself, he had some of the idea that it wasn’t really cleaning that was going to happen in the shower.

He never really understood the balance between Jihoon and Jeonghan, but he couldn’t help but admire it. While Jihoon was technically the pack alpha nobody was really afraid of saying anything to him. He never tried to control any of the members and he even let the omegas top him most of the time. He thought about BTS, he had once tried to top Jungkook because he thought the young alpha would enjoy it, but Jungkook had more or less kicked him off him, half yelling how that wasn’t right and how alpha’s didn’t do that! That wasn’t an alpha thing!

That was why he liked Seventeen, nobody really treated subgenders like they mattered. Here he could forget that he was just a beta, that he was really just a disappointment. He shook his head, no he couldn’t think about that now! Even with the heavy air between Jeonghan and Jihoon, the alpha was quick to notice what was up with Taehyung. Over all the time Taehyung had spent with Seventeen, Jihoon almost had a special Taehyung radar always understanding when the thoughts took over the younger’s mind. “TaeTae, Wonwoo placed some clothing for you outside, unless you prefer to eat naked?” He teased knowing that it would make Taehyung focus on the present instead of the thoughts that haunted him.

Taehyung just blushed, even though all of the older Seventeen pack had seen him naked “Is everybody home?”

“No the kids went to train I think, they were gone when we came back. So either they left to train or got kidnapped.” Jihoon casual said as he ripped off his sweat soaked running top, looking at it like it had personally offended him.

Taehyung still didn’t completely understand the Seventeen pack thing, the two units, HipHop and Vocal were a pack. Then the performance was a different pack, them just waiting for Dino to present before they could claim him. The idea of having two different packs in one group sounded weird to Taehyung. But it worked for them, they were all as close as a group even if they weren’t all pack.

Taehyung just nodded. “I’m just gonna… uhm yeah.” He pointed towards the door half awkwardly.

Jeonghan laughed “You are always welcome to stay.” He teased as Taehyung blushed.

The beta just shook his head and half rushed out of the bathroom leaving a friendly laughing behind. He was always shocked how they could laugh like that but he never felt like he was a target of a cruel joke.

He almost fell over Wonwoo who sat outside the bathroom playing on his phone. He looked up at Taehyung a kind smile was on his lips. He always wondered how fans could think Wonwoo was cold. Yeah his eyes were sharp and he was an alpha, but he was really a sweetheart. “Jihoon said you had cloth for me.” Taehyung asked shyly.

He didn’t know why he was being shy, maybe it was because of how bad his breakdown had been this time. Or the fact he knew that he would have to talk about what had happened to make him like that.

Wonwoo pointed at a set of clothes. Oversized hoodie that was sure to be too big on Wonwoo himself and even bigger on Taehyung. There also was a pair of running shorts, but what really had Taehyung freeze in place was the bright yellow duck on the front of the hoodie. It was just like… Mr. Duckie.

As that thought hit him, he was forced into a flashback that he always tried to keep away from himself. His biggest secret that only Seventeen knew.

‘Taehyung hadn’t always been weird like everybody said he was. When he was younger he was mostly just a sweet adorable kid like Jimin. He always thought that he had one of the most loving packs in the world, which to this day he stood by.

His pack consisted of 2 alphas, 2 betas and 3 omegas. Taehyung was born to an omega father and his mother had been the pack alpha, but even though he was genetically theirs, all of the pack had treated him like their own. There pack had gotten Taehyung fairly young by accident, back then birthcontrol hadn’t been like it was now where it was completely safe. It had failed and Taehyung had been born when he father was only 19, it didn’t stop all of them from loving the tiny Taehyung. While they did decide that they would wait a good while until having more children… Sadly they never got to.

After they all finished school, they had traveled out into the country and ended up settling in on a farm away from society. They thought it would be the perfect place to raise the then 7 year old Taehyung. The farm had its own well and solar cells on the roof so they mostly could rely on themselves, even though they did all work as well.

When their dog died from bladder cancer an alarm bell should have rung in their heads, but they hadn’t thought about it. Many animals died of cancer, so they had just let it go. Taehyung had forgotten about Warwick and moved onto loving the ducks in the pond near them. At 9 years old, he had loved ducks so much he could spend hours down at the pond just watching them swim around. The pack had gotten him small duck toys, or clothes with ducks on. His favorite had been a big duck plushie that he would drag everywhere. He would sit at the pond and talk to Mr. Duckie while pointing at the ducks.

Everything was good and happy, and then suddenly in the span of 1 year his world fell apart. He knew that his pack had been a little sick, but he had never thought about it much, he felt fine and he was just a kid. Then the ducks started dying, he could remember running back to the house with a dead duckling in his hands. He had never cried so much.

They had finally managed to calm the young child down when their youngest omega collapsed on the floor as she started to throw up. Panic had spread around them, they ended up going to the hospital.

Stage 4 bladder cancer caused by arsenic poisoning. It turned out that the well they had been drinking from wasn’t safe like they had been promised. After that, frantic testing had started, they were all terminally sick, other than Taehyung.

The young child had always been picky, he hated water and most of the time the only way to get him to drink it was buying him coconut water. It turned out that that fact ended up saving his life. His father had been the first person to die, his body had always been frail and none of the treatments had saved him.

Seeing his father, the man that had raised him lying in the bed dying had been destroying for Taehyung, but he tried his best to be strong. Crying into Mr. Duckie as he was told that daddy wasn’t with them anymore.

Slowly his pack started dying around him, they all tried their best to appear happy and healthy to their little baby duckling, but slowly they all lost the fight with cancer. Atlast it was just Taehyung and his mother left, the once strong and happy alpha that would throw around Taehyung when he was younger, now struggled just lifting his hand.

He sat by her side, even as his caregivers had told him he didn’t need to be there for this he knew he had to stay! His mother’s skin was unhealthily pale and looked like it was hanging on her bones, her long healthy hair long gone, her eyes sunk into her head.

She knew she was dying soon, she knew that she was going to leave her son behind. She patted him on the head that last day. “It’s okay duckling, mommy’s friends are going to be good to you baby, you like Auntie right?” Taehyung nodded, tears running down his face, he had seen this before. He knew somehow that this would be the last time he would get to talk to his mother.

He wasn’t lying, his auntie was a very nice lady and her pack treated Taehyung like he was born apart of them, but they weren’t his pack! No he had to be strong for mommy! “TaeTae, you are going to be great. I know it baby, you are going to be amazing. Even when we aren’t here we are going to watch over you.” He nodded again, tears and snot running down his face.

Taehyung reminded her so much of his father, there was no doubt in her mind that her little baby was going to be an omega, he was going to be the best. She was sad that she wasn’t going to be there to see it, but she had faith in her baby. “You are going to be the best baby. And even when we are gone, we will always be in your heart… You’re always going to be our little omega.” Taehyung cried.

That was the last things he ever heard from his mother… and 9 years later as he presented as a beta… He knew that he had let his mother down… He had let his family down… He was nothing but a disappointment.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... This was heavy in the end... We are going to get part two of Taehyung with Seventeen later, but this was already 4k and I have around 4k more to tell about this, but I hope you see why Taehyung is like he is.
> 
> All members of BTS are going to get like this, a character arc to show them as more refined characters instead of just villains that they look like, also I spent way to long time research cancer for this chapter... I need a hug.


	18. Baby I'm not a monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... yes... this is late... I know... I have had influenza >-< The world is conspiring against me.
> 
> Names important in this chapter:
> 
> Taekwoon = Leo  
> Wonshik = Ravi  
> Hakyeon = N

Jungkook’s head was pounding when he woke up, other than just that his stomach kinda felt like he could eat an elephant or a blue whale, and then he remembered what had happened before. **  
**

Oh god… He had hit and a yelled at a member of Big Bang, Big BANG! Why had it seemed like such a good idea at the time? At that was when he noticed something else, his mind was… different, he couldn’t explain it but it was like he didn’t have that cloud on his mind. He moved to sit up when he noticed his upper body being weighted down by… Jimin? Had he slept in the hospital!?

“Minnie?” He whispered not wanting to wake him up too drastically, not that it worked because the door was immediately opened none too gently.

“Mr. Jeon, I see you have woken up finally up, we were starting to worry that the dose we gave you inflicted with you abnormal hormone levels.” Namjoon’s doctor was standing with a medical board looking down at it.

She looked different from the day before. She had looked like the enemy yesterday, somebody who wanted to change him, today she was just Doctor Choi. Why had he thought that? Why hadn’t he listened?

“I can see you're confused, this is a good sign that means the medication has started working. Were you aware that your hormone levels were at an almost dangerous level?” Even though he had yelled at her, even though he had been a terrible person to her she was smiling and talking kindly to him.

He couldn’t look at her, he didn’t feel like he deserved to. “No I didn’t know, I just thought that was what it felt like to be an alpha. Yoongi Hyung always said that alpha’s had to be in control, he said nothing was wrong with me.” Why would Yoongi lie to him?

Doctor Choi sighed, again with that pack alpha. She wanted to tell him that his pack alpha was shit, that he was living in the past, but she was a medical professional and it wasn’t her place to tell him. “Your pack alpha isn’t a medical expert. It’s not expected that he knows stuff like that.” It’s just expected for him not to be a horrible person, but that might not be the best idea to say.

Doctor Choi didn’t believe that Jungkook was actually a bad person, she better than most people knew that you were a victim of your environment. Plus he was an idol and they often left their family packs behind very early to train, she felt sorry for the young alpha. He looked so lost, the worst part was… She wasn’t sure if it was too late for him, she could fix his hormones and maybe let him see the wrongs of his ways, but as soon as he returned home he would be back in a toxic environment.

In front of her she just saw a child, a child that had been dealt a bad hand, she saw how he held the omega, Jimin, close to his body as if to protect him, he refused to meet her gaze. This was nothing like the alpha who growled and yelled at people. “I understand this is all very confusing to you, but I need a little bit of info from you. The anger you felt inside you, has it been there since you presented?”

“Yeah, I just thought that was how alpha’s always felt, I thought it was normal.” It was how Yoongi acted most of the time, he did nothing wrong right?

Jimin yawned as he sat up, freeing himself from Jungkook’s arms “What’s going on?” He asked while stretching.

“I’m just asking your friend a few questions, he is responding positively to the new medication.” At least that was positive.

“Pack mate.” Jimin corrected, he wanted to make sure that she understood that they were pack they weren’t just groupmates, even with how split and dysfunctional they were… They were still a pack.

Doctor Choi just nodded, she had strong feeling about this pack but she would never let her personal feelings get in the way from doing her job. “Yes of course, Mr Jeon you do understand that the behavior you have been showing is highly inappropriate and borderline abusive?” Well time to rip of the bandage.

“Abusive!?” Jungkook almost threw Jimin of the bed in his hurry to get up “I haven’t abused anybody?”

“Multiple people has told of your violence tendencies and how your ordered Mr. Kim around, do you think this is okay?” She wasn’t sure if this way would get to him. She rarely dealt with patients with hormone issues, and she had the feeling that Jungkook’s issues might be deeper than just hormone issues.

Jungkook shook his head almost violently. “Namjoon wasn’t an omega at that point! I couldn’t know.”

“So just because Mr. Kim had yet to present, an issue that is rooted in his own group's inability to make him feel comfortable with himself, that makes it okay? A lot of things aren’t illegal but is not okay. You understand this right Mr. Jeon?” She questions while writing down notes.

While Jungkook didn’t feel the red anger flaming up in him like he was used to, he could feel low simmering anger inside him. She was an omega! And she was treating him like he was child! Like Jungkook was some kind of monster!

He was about to say something he shouldn’t until he felt Jimin’s small warm hand on his bare upper arm. “Kookie calm down, I know this is hard and it is our fault for not seeing it earlier, but we can fix this don’t worry.”

“I know that the red anger is wrong, but it’s pride Jimin! She is disrespecting me as an alpha!” Jungkook complained, but he kept staring down Doctor Choi.

Jimin wanted to yell or throw stuff, but he knew it wasn’t going to fix anything, “Yoongi never fixes anything with yelling.”

“All alpha’s defend their pride in different ways, Yoongi-hyung taught me that!” he peeled Jimin’s hand of his shoulder, but he was still not being rough with Jimin, Jimin hadn’t disrespected him like Doctor Choi had. “She is saying I’m abusive! I’m abusive?”

Jimin didn’t know how to say it to him, he wasn’t ‘abusive’ and Jimin knew that Jungkook loved him, but Jungkook also didn’t see him as an equal. He wasn’t as good at hiding it as Yoongi was, but he had learned from Yoongi who had learned it from an alpha pack. They had always just ignored it, they had learned to live with it.

The problem was, that with all their issues put out there and with what they had put Namjoon through. Jimin kinda noticed that maybe it was time that they actually tried to fix what was wrong with them. Even if Jimin didn’t want to admit that there was something wrong with them. “Kookie please, it’s not that you are abusive you are just a little rough with us sometimes, and you hurt Taehyung.”

“He wanted to fuck me!” Jungkook half yelled out.

Doctor Choi looked at the young males in front of her and decided that it was probably time for her to leave, this wasn’t something she should get involved in. She had learned from trial and error that some issues could only be solved by the pack themselves, as much as she wanted to help. As much as she felt the oldest of the pack showed sign of social anxiety and she just wanted to wrap him up. No matter how she knew that something wasn’t right with their other beta and she just wanted to cuddle him, as much as she wanted to save Namjoon from them and just protect him she knew she couldn’t.

That was the hardest thing of being a doctor for cases like this, she needed to be professional and she knew that interfering would cause more issues, she had to trust that Jimin could solve these issues. She quietly left the room to leave the pack members to their argument, but she waved one of the guards over. This was a unit for alphas with issues which meant that they came with guards.While she didn’t think that Jungkook was going to hurt Jimin, he seemed disrespectful and full of himself, he also wouldn’t hurt an omega on purpose, but she also knew that he might not be completely okay with his hormones.

“Watch over what happens, if the alpha makes a move towards the omega step in, but don’t mind the yelling. They have some things to solve.” She sighed, the guard was a young lady a well built beta.

“One of those couples?” She asked fixing her shock baton in her belt, Doctor Choi nodded with a sigh she hated weapons.

“Idols,” god she was getting too old for this “their pack alpha seems to be from one of the alpha packs, he had left a strong impression on their youngest alpha plus he suffered from hormonal issues.”

“Alpha packs?” The guard questioned, the hand tightened around her baton showing her clear opinion of those kind of packs. “I thought those were long eradicated, aren’t most of them filled with abuse and inbreeding?”

“They are almost gone, but there are still a few left. The inbreeding is just a rumor that we can’t support medically, they normally find the most dominant omega, breed them and more or less beat them to submission. Their idea is that they are trying to breed only alphas, and alpha’s are the superior sub-gender, it's a very toxic community. Just keep an eye on them, I want to make sure that they are okay, their omega seems very soft and naive.” It was easy to forget that while her generation and the generation before them had dealt with alpha packs regularly, the new generation just knew them as more or less old cults all died out, sadly it wasn’t like that.

“Don’t worry Doctor Choi, I won’t let them hurt each other.” The guard assured her as they heard Jungkook yell out from the room.

“HE IS JUST A BETA!” Doctor Choi knew that it was going to a be a long road for the pack, she just hoped that they would all make it through in one piece.

Jimin was up from the bed now, arms crossed in a strong movement, Jungkook was standing at the other end of the room having a put distance between them. Jimin wanted to try and make himself bigger and more scary looking but he knew he couldn’t trick Jungkook. “You let Yoongi-hyung top you!”

“That’s different!” Jungkook insisted “Yoongi-hyung is our pack alpha, he is the only person I would ever humiliate myself for like that.”

“Humiliate? Bottoming is humiliating? You seem to have no issues when it’s me bottoming!” Jimin growled, he felt personally attacked by what Jungkook was saying. He knew that the media liked to humiliate omegas and call them weak for being submissive but hearing that him preferring to be fucked instead of fucking, was like he was getting his worst fear thrown in his face.

“You are an omega, that’s different! It’s you job!” Jungkook was half red in the face with anger, but this time he didn’t have the red in front of his eyes to take over him. This time he was just angry at Jimin, how could he ever act like it would ever be okay for Jungkook to bottom.

“It’s my job to bottom for you? It’s not humiliating cause I’m just an omega?” Jimin said, he voice had lost its fight now, he was just hollow. It was like somebody had ripped away the rose tinted glasses from his eyes and forced him to see Jungkook for the first time. When had they allowed his mind to be this poisoned? Was Yoongi really this bad as well?

Jimin backed closer to the door, tears were starting to threaten to free themselves from his eyes, all the negative thoughts that Jimin had ever thought of himself made it to the forefront of his mind, and he just wanted to hurt Jungkook as much as the younger had hurt him. He knew it wasn’t right or healthy, but he needed somebody else to hurt as well “I… I need to get out of here… I can’t trust you… You are a monster, you are monster that scared Joonie, you are monster that was rude and rough to Taehyung.”

A single tear was gliding down his cheek, and then he took the cowardly way out as he turned around at ran, he didn’t stop running until he was out of the hospital in front of a cab. The tears were now running free on his face as he got into the cab and gave the address he wanted to go to. He needed to be safe, only one person who Jimin knew would keep him safe.

Jungkook was left in the hospital room frozen as Jimin ran out, the word monster kept being repeated over and over again in his head. It wasn’t right! He couldn’t be a monster, he almost felt like collapsing on himself, but he forced himself to keep standing. He thought back instead of thinking about what Yoongi taught him, he tried to remember what his family pack had taught him, back before everybody knew he would be an alpha.

He remembered long walks outside, the pack had always loved being outside. Jungkook could remember just being a little kid, his father trying to keep him close by as his papa chased him through the forest little Jungkook screaming in delight, one of the packs other kids had been hanging on one of the beta’s hips still too young to being allowed to play around on the ground even if he tried to get down.

Jungkook tried to remember of his papa had ever treated his father like an omega, or the packs other omega. No… He couldn’t remember anybody treating people like Yoongi had taught him. Was everything he knew a lie? Even if it was… He couldn’t stop, he didn’t know how to. He never tried to be angry, the anger just came to him without trying, he had been taught to be defensive of his pride.

A young female beta in a uniform stuck her head in. “You okay? Doctor Choi left, you are free to walk around the hospital, but you can’t leave we still need a few more tests from you.” Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and it was clear that she heard the argument and even more clear that she was judging him.

Jungkook looked down at his tightly fisted hands, he didn’t know who he was anymore, and he didn’t know who to turn to. The only alphas he really knew were his own and… he didn’t know if he could trust Yoongi right now, and Hoseok hated himself for being an alpha. He used to be close to Yugyeom, but after Jungkook had presented he had just kinda stopped talking to him. It had been weird in the start, but now it just made sense. He hadn’t stopped talking to Jungkook because he was busy, he had stopped talking to Jungkook because Jungkook had changed.

“I’m… I’m going to take a walk around the hospital I need to breathe… Am I allowed to see Namjoon?” Jungkook questioned, he… he should apologize shouldn’t he?

The guard just shook her head “No, I’m sorry.”

Hanging his head Jungkook just nodded, maybe keeping the new omega away from him was a good idea. He had alpha ordered the older, god he hadn’t even seen him as a real member of the pack! “You can still take a walk around the hospital, just stay out of the omega area and try not to course any trouble.”

She tried to smile in a soothing way for him, but it was clear to Jungkook how the woman really saw him, Jungkook just nodded he couldn’t even blame her. It made so much more sense now why Hoseok avoided spending time alone with him.

Jungkook wasn’t even sure how long time he had just wandered around in the hall, he wasn’t even sure what he was looking for. He knew that Jimin had left long ago, and the rest of BTS other than Namjoon probably wasn’t here yet, that was when he saw a 3 familiar figures.

Wonshik, Taekwoon, and Hakyeon was leaving the omega ward. All 3 Vixx members seeming to be in a happy mood as Wonshik lightly hit Taekwoon on the shoulder as he teased. “You are such a fucking omega.”

Every muscle in his body tightened as he expected a verbal clapback from Taekwoon. Wonshik an omega was clearly disrespecting Taekwoon who was the Vixx pack alpha.

The clapback physically or verbally never came instead Taekwoon just raised an eyebrow. “At least I’m good at it, something you can’t be.” There was no heat in his voice at all, no change in his stance or anything. It was like he didn’t even care that he got disrespected, was this what a real alpha was like?

Hakyeon just shook his head at the two redheads. “You are both brats that it what you are.” The omega just looked completely done with his packmates shit.

Jungkook was… Shocked… yeah that seemed to be the real word, he had never before thought about how other packs were. He only ever paid attention to his own. He had never really thought about it before, could he be an alpha like Taekwoon? An alpha who didn’t feel the need to protect his honor, an alpha who didn’t see himself like others.

He got ripped out of his thought when Taekwoon noticed him “Jungkook-ah? Namjoon isn’t allowed visitors until later, apparently they need to do tests on him.”

“Please teach me not to be a monster!” Yeah… Yeah maybe that wasn’t how he should have asked…

Jimin had finally arrived at his destination, and only when he knocked on the door he did realize that maybe he should have called ahead. But it seemed that luck for once was with him as Baekhyun opened the door looking confused. “Jimin?”

Jimin didn’t answer, he just threw himself in the arms of the redhead. Luckily Baekhyun seemed to have expected it as his fellow omega tightened his arms around him in a comforting hug until he noticed… “Jimin! How far along in preheat are you!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE SETUP! See I'm starting to fix BTS problems! Be proud of me!
> 
> Also... I'm going to try to not be this late with chapters again... but god knows it might not work... Please don't kill me! Also thank you guys so much for the amazing feedback, talking with you guys in the comments have been so amazing!


	19. Cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry, but I can’t change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days!?! Yes this is real... I meant to only write the start, but it got ahead of me... and now It's 7pm and I haven't eaten breakfast...
> 
> Slow rabbit = Producer at BigHit, done ALOT of work on their album  
> Jiho = Zico (Block B)  
> Wonshik = Ravi (Vixx)

Namjoon woke up to whispered yelling in his hospital room. “Jackson stop pouting like a little kid!” That was… Jiho? **  
**

“But I wanna smell his scent too!” Namjoon didn’t even need to open his eyes to know that the alpha was pouting, he could hear it in his voice.

Namjoon kinda just wanted to fall back asleep. The drugs still in his system making him drowsy, but Jiho’s rebutted. “Peaches and cream! It’s not that hard!”

Jackson didn’t seem to agree. “What does that even smell like!?”

“It’s your scent gland being fucked, not your nose.”

“Your face is fucked!” Yeah Jackson was straight up whining.

Jiho just laughed and Namjoon could now hear multiple people moving around in the room as a small hand was gently removing a piece of hair from his still closed eyes. “No I fucked you, you are clearly wrong in this.”

“You guys fucked in the shower just now didn’t you? God at least try to keep it in your pants.” Oh so it was Jinyong petting his hair, if he could just keep going a little bit Namjoon could fall back asleep. “Also I know you are awake Joonie, not that I’m sure how you missed the first part of those kids yelling. Or BamBam falling over his own legs and waking probably the entire hospital.”

“I said sorry! This is bullying!”

Namjoon opened his eyes to just see… Something yellow? Groggily he reached up to see what it was that was impairing his vision, it turned out to be a posted note. Youngjae who was sitting on the opposite side of Namjoon explained. “It was here when we arrived and we decided that removing it would be rude so we didn’t. It’s from Wonshik.”

The newly presented omega squinted his eyes to focus on the notes it said with almost childlike font. ‘You were sleeping when we got here, and Hakyeon said we couldn’t wake you up because that would be rude. So instead call us when you get tired of all those alphas fawning around you, and don’t let them push you around! You are better than that!!!!!!!! - Wonshik!’

Yeah that was definitely from Wonshik, the Vixx omega was… special. “Did you guys see him when you left?”

“Yeah he was physically dragging Jungkook away, with Hakyeon seeming completely done with him. I swear one day he is going to lose it and strangle both of them in their sleep.” Jinyoung laughed.

As Namjoon’s mind woke up a little bit more so did all his memories, and while he knew he couldn’t trust what Yoongi had told him he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about it. Did Got7 really use him? He didn’t know what to trust anymore.

“What is wrong? Does something hurt?” Namjoon focused on Jaebum who looked worried from his position as physically far away from Namjoon as he could be. Actually both Jackson and Yugyeom were doing the same?

“No… I’m just…” He needed to explain stuff. He wanted to shut himself up and ignore everything, but he had learned something the last few days… Ignoring stuff just made it bigger, ignoring stuff created all the issues.

“Yoongi hyung said something to me the night I came back from your guys place, and… It’s the reason I haven’t talked to any of you.” He looked down, he couldn’t look at them. He was about to find out that either they actually didn’t care for him and had just used him or that he had ignored them, deleted their number and let himself be manipulated. He wasn’t sure which one was to be prefered.

Everybody in the room was silent and you could have heard a pin drop in the room. Namjoon wasn’t sure how to start until he felt Youngjae reach out the grab his hand in a soft hold running his thumb gently over the knuckles. “No matter what have happened Joonie we don’t blame you and we aren’t mad at you. We understand that you haven’t been in a good place, and we are partial to blame for what ever have happened, this isn’t your fault.”

Namjoon wanted to fucking cry, they were being so gentle with him he didn’t know how to handle it. Got7 had always treated him nicely, but with everybody doing it now he simply didn’t know how to deal with everybody's eyes being on him and looking at him so softly. He could deal with the fans, and while he loved Army’s he also knew that he couldn’t take them yelling that they loved him to serious, they mostly only knew Rap Monster.

“Yoongi got mad when I got home that day… He told me that you were all just using me, that you really didn’t care about me at all. He made me delete and block all your numbers. I trusted him! I didn’t think he would have a reason to lie to me. I just… I wanted to fit in, I wanted them to accept me!” Namjoon felt the words leave his mouth in a word vomit and as he first started he couldn’t stop it. “I didn’t know what to do! I never saw any reason not to trust Yoongi, and even if I wasn’t a real member of the pack, I saw him as my pack alpha, I wanted to fit in and be happy with them! I just wanted to be good.”

Namjoon heard a low growl, and surprisingly enough it didn’t even come from a Got7 member, instead from Jiho that Namjoon had more less forgotten. “He made you delete and block my number as well didn’t he? How many of our old and current friends did he make you block?”

Jiho knew something was wrong, but he had no idea how bad it really was. He thought Namjoon had purposefully ignored them. He had never thought that Yoongi’s control over Namjoon was this deeply rooted. He tried to imagine his pack alpha… U-kwon telling him to delete all his friends from his phone, Jiho would just have laughed and have told him to go fuck himself. Pack alphas yes were leaders of a pack, but this didn’t meant that anybody should follow them blindly and he couldn’t imagine doing it. That wasn’t how pack’s were meant to run! The BTS pack was toxic!

“All of them… We needed to focus on our new album.” Namjoon sounded so ashamed, and that was how he felt as well.

A loud noise was echoing in the room as the chair BamBam had been sitting on hit the ground as he stood up in a sudden movement. “That’s it! I’m going to strangle him, and I’m going to enjoy it!”

“BamBam he is an alpha do, try and remember that.” Jinyoung tried to calm the omega down.

BamBam stared down Jinyoung even though the beta just raised an eyebrow from his comfortable spot next to Namjoon’s bed lightly. “You think I can’t take him? We are the same height and he is build like a… a very short underfed breadstick!” The younger challenged.

“I’m more worried that you can actually take him, and we will have to face murder charges for killing BTS’s pack alpha. May I remind you that dabbing is illegal in prison.” Jinyoung countered.

BamBam scowled at him. “You win for now, he will live another day, don’t tell me I am not a merciful god.” But he didn’t sit back down and his stance was still hostile until Mark came up behind him and wrapped him up in a back hug. Namjoon was almost amazed when he saw how the aggression almost melted out of BamBam who just leaned his head back on Mark’s shoulder.

Youngjae lifted Namjoon’s hand up to his mouth and placed a light kiss on his knuckles. His hand was still wrapped up lightly protecting it since he had hurt it when he had fallen after he had the heart attack. “We would never use you like that Joonie, we respect you… And…” He looked at Jaebum as asking for permission.

The alpha just nodded, he took a step forward then seeming to regret the decision and stepped back against the wall against grabbing Jackson's, who was standing next to him, hand and lightly squeshed it as to reassure both alphas.

Youngjae looked back at Namjoon. “We would like to court you, we would like for you to give us a chance to show you how a pack really loves a member. We loved you way before you presented as an omega, but we always thought that you belonged to BTS and didn’t have a chance with you, but now that we do… We would like to try. If you will let us?” Youngjae’s smile was soft and reassuring and he was holding Namjoon’s hand still, but not restricting or harsh, just reminding Namjoon that he was there to support him.

He looked around the room, Jinyoung still gently petting his hair, alphas standing up against the wall looking out of place like they weren’t really sure what to do about themselves. Lastly he looked at Mark and BamBam, they were omegas… Were they alright with another omega? Were they okay with having to share the attention with somebody else, but BamBam and Mark both just smiled to him in a calming and nice way. Both seemed eager for him to answer and to be honest BamBam kinda just looked like an happy oversized puppy in Mark’s arms.

“I think I would like that, Daesung-sunbaenim and Bang PD-nim explained it to me, and I think I understand… It’s okay for me not to choose BTS, or at least not choose them right now. I… I can be happy with somebody else and it’s okay, it doesn’t make me less of a person.” And then Namjoon looked up at each person in the eyes slowly before he said. “I would like to be courted by you guys.”

Everybody's  face turned into a giant smiley faces and BamBam made a move to almost jump ontop of Namjoon. Luckily Mark was faster as he tightened his grip on the younger. “He is in a hospital bed idiot, do you really want to make it worse?” Mark just shaked his head. “I have only been part of this pack for 3 days and I already feel like I’m babysitting the pack baby! I didn’t sign up for this!”

The room was silent for a moment, before it was broken by Namjoon who couldn’t hold back a giggle, this whole situation was weird. So he just opened his arms up towards BamBam for a hug. “Just don’t knock out the IV, I ripped it out twice because I was unhappy and if I do it one more time they are going to put me in the closed part of the hospital.”

Mark hesitantly let go of BamBam who quickly got into the bed and Namjoon’s lap to give him a hug. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling when that reminding him of just how him and Zico had been the day before, and then blush when he remembered what it had lead to.

“Actually the IV thing we should talk about, but… I think that maybe it could wait until we get you out of this place. But we will talk about it at some point Joonie!” Jinyoung exclaimed.

“Way to ruin the mood Jinnie,” Mark teased as he sat down next to the beta. “Also… you guys are making everybody including Namjoon really awkward, you aren’t allowed to be close to him yet, but at least take a seat instead of looking like you are in front of a fire squad, it is really just awkward.”

Namjoon looked confused at the alphas. “Why aren’t they allowed to be close to me?”

“Oh your doctor told us you are banned from seeing alphas and especially if they are alone. We just want to be on the sure side since I’m afraid she might actually kill us and make sure we are never found again.” Youngjae casually answered.

Jiho spoke up next. “Well, what happened to I get to ask him first? You are all rude. I can’t beat these fuckers, but we… which means all of us even if it is just me here, since some of us have a job, would like to court you as well. I know we haven’t done as much as an effort while you were a dud as these ones. But with so many betas already, we just couldn’t. I have known you longer than anybody else. I have known you even longer than your own group, and I think you could fit really well in with us, if you want to give us a chance?” He smiled at Namjoon.

He was right, Jiho was probably the person who knew him the best out of anybody. He was the person who had known him the longest, before all of this dud stuff. “Are you sure that this is what you want to do?” Namjoon didn’t want Jiho to commit to something he wasn’t ready for.

“Namjoon I think we need to work on your sense of self worth! Courting you is not something negative or a duty to take on.” Jiho placed a light kiss on Namjoon’s forehead. “Is that a yes though?”

Namjoon bit his lip hesitantly and then nodded. “Yeah… it’s a yes.”

“Awesome!” He smiled big “Now the more important question, have you talked to your highly dysfunctional group?”

He just shook his head. “No, I heard that there were some issues, but I have been told Hoseok should come by today?”

“Issues… yes let’s call them that.”  BamBam jumped down from Namjoon’s lap. “Sadly the reason we got here so early is that we have dance practice. So we have to leave now to attend multiple hours of torture that people like to pretend is calling practice.”

Namjoon nodded, he understood he really did. They were all idols and they had shit to do so he smiled at them. “Go then, don’t be late cause you had to be here first!” He was just so happy that they had worked out their differences, to find out that they didn’t actually use him. To know that he had a chance to be happy with them, that he in general had a chance to be happy. “Oh! I said yes to letting B.A.P court me as well.”

“Oh we know, we also now have probably 200 pictures of you sleeping. Zelo was really excited about having snuck in and he really was happy you said yes.” Jaebum insisted.

“Oh.” Namjoon couldn’t help himself from blushing. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Don’t worry about it, you were adorable! And we are actually happy you get a lot of options! Yeah we prefer you pick us, but we are friends before anything. After everything you have been through it is really just important that you end up happy!” Youngjae gave his hand one last squeeze before he got up to join the rest of Got7 at the door.

For the first time since Namjoon had woken up Jackson said something. “Call me or text me when you get out of here please? I know you and your phone have a complicated relationship, but it would mean a lot to me?” The uncertainty in his voice showed that he wasn’t yet completely sure of how to treat Namjoon now that he was an omega. Which he could understand, god he wasn’t even sure how to act yet!

“I promise! Now go or I will actually get up and personally shove you all the way there.” Namjoon could feel the leader in him show itself.

A low party of laughter came from the members before they took their leave. Leaving Namjoon smiling in his bed with only Jiho left. “You don’t have to go as well?”

“Nope, I first have to go back later so I’m gonna stay if that is okay with you? It’s been awhile since we have just hung out?” He took Jinyoung's abandoned chair.

The omega nodded “Yeah… I would like that.”

They talked for hours, only stopping when the nurses needed to take different tests of Namjoon and came with food for both him and the beta. Namjoon had forgotten how much he loved just talking with his friend. They didn’t talk about anything important and avoided all talk of the reason why Namjoon was there. They bounced lyrics, talked about old times and Jiho told weird stories about his pack making Namjoon laugh.

It has been a while since he had been this happy.

Sadly happy was not something that could be said about all members of BTS. Yoongi hadn’t moved out of the studio since he found the lyrics. He had no more tears to give, and the lyrics sheet he found was almost unreadable. He had tried to understand them any other way but he knew he couldn’t. This was the truth, this was how it was, this was his fault.

He had never wanted Namjoon to think this about himself! He just wanted Namjoon to understand, he just needed Namjoon to stop fucking around with so many different packs when he didn’t have to! How could he have ended up doing this? He never meant to.

“So you read it I assume?”

Yoongi looked up at the figure in the doorway. Slow Rabbit PD-nim was looking at him, his stare none too kind. “I found it right after Namjoon-ah had the heart attack… It wasn’t pretty to look at let me tell you that. I went through his old lyrics to see if there were any hints of it we had missed. I found that one called always, and another one called Reflection. This is all our fault, but it’s your specifically.”

He closed the door behind him. “I don’t need to be soft like Bang, I don’t need to be politically correct. I care about you guys! You know I do, but we have all let you run free for to long. We have ignored what was infront of him because we didn’t want to be like SM and interfere with packs. We have let it happen because you are an amazing talented musician, but it’s too much now! You almost killed him! You understand this right? Had he actually been a dud he would have been dead! Do you understand this Yoongi?! You almost killed your own leader!”

“I DIDN’T MEAN TO!” Yoongi yelled almost desperately, pictures of a dead Namjoon flashing in front of his eyes, as he shook his head desperately to free himself.

“I don’t care what you meant to do, you almost killed. You almost killed a guy who has done nothing but support you all the time! Look at those lyrics! Look at every line! Remember that you did this!” There was none of the normal friendliness in Slow Rabbit’s face. Seeing Namjoon almost die in front of him had left nightmares in his mind he would probably never be free of. As an alpha he knew what alpha duties were, and Yoongi was so out of line!

Tears were now streaming down Yoongi’s face. “Please stop… I… please stop…” He whispered.

“Like you stopped your torture on an innocent guy just because he didn’t do what you wanted? A guy who saw you as his pack alpha, imagine telling Jimin and Taehyung that you killed their leader? Imagine looking them in the eyes and telling them you are murderer? Because you almost were.”

And that… That broke Yoongi. Uncontrolled crying as he curled in on himself… Slow rabbit had done what nobody else could… not any of the pressure from his family pack, not his own toxic mind… He had broken Min Yoongi’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need a hug... or like... A lot of hugs... That end was really really hard to write.


	20. Just a loser. A loner, a jackass covered in scars Dirty trash. In the mirror, I’m a Loser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually proud of myself... This is what happens when you are to sick to fight and dance... you write a lot...

 

Seokjin woke up early that morning, the smell of chocolate chips cookies still in the air from last night. He was… He was happy, even though all of the dorm was silent for the first time in forever and he was pretty sure that everybody else was out he was actually happy. His talk with Junsu had actually really helped, the older man being surprisingly helpful, and now he had a promise to fulfill! **  
**

It had started at Seokjin getting a little distracted by Junsu’s scent of chocolate chip cookies, it had made him want to go home and bake them. Which he had admitted to the older omega who had somehow made him promise that he would come back with some the next day before he went back to the hospital.

It first he had thought that the JYJ member was just kidding, but after Junsu had pushed his phone towards Seokjin for him to put in his number he had realized that the man was very much not kidding. When the oldest BTS had returned home he had gotten a text with an address and the added message   
  
‘Don’t forget my cookies!!! >-<’

It had left Seokjin giggling in the empty kitchen, which lead to the morning where Seokin was gathering the now cooled down cookies in a container to talk them to the TVXQ/JYJ shared housing thing… Actually…. Seokjin still didn’t understand that one, and he hadn’t dared question it when Junsu had mentioned it.

He hadn’t even thought of looking through the dorm as he left it. He just smiled and happily hummed along on the song currently playing on his phone. It took him a few tries to find the right building but when he finally managed to, he was a little shy to knock suddenly worried that Junsu hadn’t actually meant it.

He took a deep breath and was about to knock when the door was opened. “Please tell me you’re not a sasaeng fan, because that would be really awkward also… Did you plan on just looking at the door, I promise it doesn’t bite.”

The man that stood in the door entrance wasn’t actually Junsu instead the JYJ alpha Jaejoong and a strong blushed took over his face. “No I’m… Uhm… Junsu invited me… I have something for him.” Yeah… he wasn’t good at this.

That caused the blond alpha to to smile widely “Oh! You are Seokjin right? From BTS! Junsu said you would be coming and that I should be nice, he will be back soon! Since we didn’t know when you would come and when ‘morning’ was for you he went to the gym! Please come in it’s cold outside!”

Seokjin hesitantly followed the man inside, hugging the cookies to his chest as a support line, not really sure how he felt about all of this. “Nice… uhm… place.” He tried.

Jaejoong just smiled “I make you nervous don’t I… hmmm… When Junsu said he invited somebody you aren’t what I expected, you can’t be more than 19… What is Junsu doing with kids.” He took Seokjin’s jacket and hung it up.

Seokjin felt almost offended. “I’m 24!”

“What really?” Now it was Jaejoong’s turn to look slightly awkward. “Fuck I’m sorry! How about we try this again, please don’t let me scare you away Junsu will kill me. Im Jaejoong formerly for TVXQ now of JYJ and I’m from 1986.”

“I’m Seokjin, I’m from 92, nice to meet you Jaejoong-sunbaenim.” Seokjin bowed still holding the cookies.

“So I don’t want to be rude, but I was told you had cookies? Can I have one?”

“Yes of course!” Seokjin hurried, handing the older idol the entire box, which the man opened pulling one out while showing Seokjin even farther into the room.

The livingroom was peacefully decorated and clean in a way Seokjin could only wish theirs back home was. He took a spot on the couch Jaejoong pointed him towards. The alpha seemed very focused on the cookie he was currently chewing.

Seokjin felt nervous, for some reason this felt like he was at a cooking exam that he couldn’t remember signing up for. He was starting to almost sweat when the verdict finally came. “Wow these are good, you managed to somehow match Junsu’s scent completely! I tried for years and haven’t managed! You got to give me the recipe!”

Jaejoong was kinda looking at him like Seokjin had told him that he could make water into wine not just because he made Chocolate chip cookies.

That somehow managed to launch them into the conversation about cooking. It turned out that Jaejoong was the one that cooks in the household, which meant they spent over an hour talking about different recipes until Jaejoong looked at him and said “BTS most be really happy to have you?”

Seokjin looked confused for a second, yeah he was proud of his looks, but he never thought much other than that. “I’m just a beta.”

“Just a beta?” Jaejoong looked actually offended. “Yeah I understand that betas aren’t as flashy as omegas and alphas but they are important. Yes some packs like the Big Bang pack can work without one, but most of us can’t. Even those of us who don’t have an beta are missing one. There is a reason there are three sub-genders, we are all meant to work in harmony. As I said, your pack is lucky, even though Junsu did explain to us all the trouble that is currently going on in your pack, you should never feel you aren’t something special just because you are a beta.”

The worst part was that Seokjin knew this, but with all the troubles going on in his own pack he rarely felt appreciated. He was just the oldest and a beta, all he did was take care of people without getting any thing in return.

Back in the BTS dorm Hoseok woke up to Seokjin already gone, and the normally warm and loud dorm was now abandoned and cold. As Hoseok slouched his way through a morning routine, he noticed that the cookies from the night before was gone, he could hope that Seokjin had gone to either feed their missing pack alpha or maybe say hello to Namjoon, but somehow he knew that it wasn’t the case. In a way he couldn’t explain he knew that Seokjin wasn’t with either members of BTS.

As he dressed himself in front of the mirror he rested a hand on one of the many thin silvery scars still on his hipbone normally covered by jeans. _‘I won’t be like her… Yoongi will be back to lead soon, I just need to hold on a little bit more. Alphas are not to be trusted, that includes me… especially me, I got abuse in my blood.’_

His breakfast was light, he felt like he wouldn’t be able to keep the food down even if he tried to, especially since he had to face Namjoon today. The walk to the hospital wasn’t long, but it was grueling. Every time his foot hit the ground and the impact traveled up his spin he was more and more aware of the fact that he was slowly moving towards what he always feared being.

He went to see Jungkook first, but the baby alpha was missing from his room. The lingering scent was still in the sheets so it was indeed his room, but Hoseok had no idea where he was now and the maknae didn’t pick up his phone. Instead Hoseok started the slow walk towards Namjoon’s hospital room, really he just wanted to run away.

He saw Jiho leaving Namjoon’s with a smile on his lips, both idols freezing in the hallway looking each other up and down. Jiho noted the normally smiling dancers face was now stuck in a sad grimace that didn’t fit him. Jiho wanted to hate BTS he really did for what they did to Namjoon, but he also knew that it was childish. He didn’t really believe that majority of them were bad people, the problem with being from a small company is that they didn’t have older idols to guide them through those years in their life.

“You look like you might want to swap positions with Namjoon. Sure you aren’t the person who should be in the hospital?” He lightly tried to ask. He was a little worried about his fellow rapper.

Hoseok just sighed. “We… have some issues we have to deal with, I’m sorry for what happened to Joonie. I know that you guys are really close friends.” He ran a hand through his now oily caramel orange locks, he needed a shower, but he found himself not caring that much about personal hygiene at that moment.

“Hoseok-ah, we are mad about the fact that you guys let Namjoon get this bad, and yes we are mad that you guys were blind to the abuse going on, but you can’t take all the blame on yourself. You clearly aren’t okay.” The beta tried to reason. He was actually a little terrified about the alpha’s state.

“I’m fine.” Hoseok half snapped out, but the second aggression found its way into his voice he regretted it. It was like he could almost feel a physical pain on his scars. No he wasn’t that kind of alpha! “I’m just here to see Namjoon, none of us have seen him since they incident and… we owe him an apology.”

“Some of you do, but I’m not sure you are one of them. As far as I understand from Namjoon, you actually tried to stand up for him. Don’t be to hard on yourself.” Jiho wasn’t sure what to say to make it better. He wasn’t even sure what was wrong with Hoseok, but it was in his beta nature to try and fix issues like this.

Hoseok just shook his head “Don’t worry, we are going to fix things, we are a pack after all.”

Jiho went from worried to shocked, did Hoseok actually believe this. Had nobody filled BTS in on what was happening. “Hoseok-ah… Namjoonie is not part of the BTS pack, he is an unbound omega, and… he has agreed to be courted. You are welcome to ask for the right to court him like the rest of us, but he doesn’t belong to you guys. He belongs to himself and it’s time for him to make a decision for himself as Namjoon instead of making them as Rap Monster.”

He… He should have expected that shouldn’t he? He had just assumed that Namjoon would join BTS. Even after all the issues they had. Namjoon was their leader, he always did what was best for BTS. Hoseok hadn’t even thought about the fact that Namjoon was an omega, an unbound one, he hadn’t thought about the fact that of course other packs would want him.

“But he is our leader, he is part of BTS.” Hoseok weakly protested, he knew that it was to no avail.

Jiho kinda felt sorry for Hoseok as much as he didn’t want to he couldn’t stop himself. “Yeah he is part of the kpop group BTS, not the pack BTS.”

Hoseok sighed. “I understand, I’m going to talk to him now… Thanks for not being a jerk,” The last part was mumbled as he walked past the older beta, who just looked after the younger not sure what to do.

Namjoon had an intense facial expression when Hoseok entered the room. The omega was writing something down on a piece of paper, Hoseok could easily recognize it as songwriting mode. His tongue stuck out slightly to the side while biting it and eyebrows frowned. “I thought you were meant to relax Joonie?”

Hoseok tried for a casual tone, still staying away from the omega in the bed. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be here alone since he was banned from seeing alphas alone. Namjoon looked a little surprised to see Hoseok right after Jiho left. “Hobi? You are here alone? Where is everybody else?”

He knew that something was wrong, something was very wrong. The thing was that he also knew that pressing Hoseok for what was wrong early in a conversation would never lead to anything good. He would feel caged and start to panic, Namjoon knew his members well.

“People are a little bit busy, you know with our comeback coming up.” Hoseok opted for a little white lie, not wanting to worry Namjoon, but his leader knew better than that. He knew that Hoseok was lying. How he was rubbing his hipbone was a sure tell that the alpha was lying, but he choose to play along.

“I understand, shouldn’t you be helping with the dance? Just because I am useless doesn't mean we have to stop all preparation.” Namjoon was still a little wary around BTS, he wasn’t sure how to treat them.

Just because Bang PD-nim said that he was still going to be the leader he wasn’t sure that the rest of BTS saw it like that. “Is there a special reason you are here Seokie, or did you just miss me that much?”

It was clear that both of the 94-liner’s were uncomfortable and not sure how to treat each other. Namjoon still wasn’t sure what his place in BTS was anymore, and Hoseok hated the fact that everybody was forcing him to be act like a pack alpha. And he wasn't sure how you apologize to somebody for not noticing that the rest of your group and pack was forcing you to starve and almost kill yourself.

“I talked with Jiho when he was leaving, and I realized that I have something to ask you.” Hoseok’s entire mouth was dry, this wasn’t his job… It was Yoongi’s where was Yoongi.

“Just because I’m no longer a dud doesn’t change anything Hobi. I’m still your leader and friend if you have any problems you can talk to me.”

And that was what really broke the dam for Hoseok, they had treated Namjoon like shit! No they had treated him worse than shit, they had treated him like he was worthless! And even after the now omega had presented he still just sat there flashed his dimpled smile at Hoseok and told him that they were still friends and he would still help him “No! Stop it! Be angry!” Hoseok said between gritted teeth.

“Angry?” Namjoon wasn’t sure what Hoseok was on about, he had no reason to be angry.

“Yes! We treated you like shit! I swore I would never let anybody be abused again! But I let myself and Yoongi be the worst kind of alphas there are! WE TURNED JUNGKOOK INTO IT AS WELL!” The last part was yelled, “This is everything I’m against! I swore to myself I would never be an abuser like her! But not only did I turn into that, I also let other people I care about turn into it!” He was against scratching the scars through the fabric of his jeans.

“Hoseok please calm down, we can talk about this. I am not mad at any of you, none of you did anything wrong! This was my own fault, please calm down!” Namjoon desperately pleaded, it was the first time since he presented that he felt anger coming from an alpha like that, and it was to be honest a little bit overwhelming.

“This is the entire problem! You don’t see it! This is stockholm syndrome! Look at me and tell me that Yoongi did nothing wrong! Tell me that there is nothing to forgive! That nothing has changed!”

Namjoon took a deep breath and spoke truthfully to his heart. “Yoongi did nothing wrong, there is nothing to forgive and nothing between us has changed.”

Hoseok just kinda stared at him with a sad look, Namjoon really believed that didn’t he? He believed that nothing that they had done to him had been wrong! And then he couldn’t hold it all in anymore as he let out of loud scream in frustration. “WE ARE NOTHING BETTER THAN MY OLD PACK!” And then he fell to his knees and for the first time since he got away from the family pack, for the first time since dancing and Bang-PD had saved him, he let tears fall down his face.

Namjoon took one last look at the IV drip in his arm that kept him to the bed. Fuck it he had to help Hoseok. He couldn’t just sit here doing nothing, he ripped it out ignored the pain a few blood drops that came from the wound and on unsteady legs managed to get his way over to Hoseok where the older alpha was sitting crying on the floor. Namjoon closed his arms around him in a hug, it was the first time outside of music shows and award show he saw Hoseok cry and he knew that this was somehow different.

“Just let it all out.” He pushed Hoseok’s head into his neck on instinct without even thinking over it. His omega instinct taking over mixed with his already duty as a leader. “It’s okay Seokie, just let it all out”

Namjoon could feel Hoseok’s hands tighten a grip on the back of his shirt, and years of kept in emotions was released from the alpha. They sat there for almost ten minutes, before the door to his hospital room was slammed open. “Mr. Kim what have you done?” Dr. Choi looked at Namjoon’s bed worried that the omega was having another setback and she would actually have to lock him up.

Instead she saw the two males on the floor, and she knew that something was wrong. Knowing very little about the BTS pack, but just going by the abuse the younger rapper had gone through, her first thought was to look him over making sure that there was no visible damage done to him. There seemed to be nothing he just looked lost at her, like he wasn’t sure what to do. “Dr. Choi you said that you had found me a psychiatrist to help me accept who I am, is there a chance that the same shrink, might be able to help Hoseok?”

She looked at the alpha. “I’m not sure he can help unless I am told what the problem is.” She tried to be as soft as she could, even though she felt like she was choking in the room with how much thick honey scent the alpha had pumped into the room.

Hoseok lifted his head from Namjoon’s neck, he knew this was it. He had to make a choice. He had always refused to get help with his mental state, he had always been afraid of admitting what had happened to him, to how much he hated it. So he always smiled, and he became sunshine behind a fake smile. He let Yoongi and Seokjin run what he did and just followed. He looked at her, he couldn’t go on like this. “I hate being an alpha… I… I hate myself for being an alpha. Because alphas are monsters”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Story of the day, Namjoon is a bae and everybody is broken... Taehyung and Namjoon x Monsta x up next!
> 
> ALSO ALSO ALSO! THIS STORY IS NOW LONGER THAN THE FIRST HARRY POTTER BOOK!!!! ARRRRGGH, on the next chapter I have decided in the notes to release a little teaser for the people who care about Lu Han!


	21. For today that will never come again, Cheers to the sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg... Is this chapter... happu!?!?! And yes I promised Taehyung, but I couldn't fit it...

Hoseok got escorted out by Doctor Choi, who wanted to talk a little bit more with him. Even though she wasn’t a shrink, she still wanted to make sure that she sent him to the right spot. Which again left Namjoon alone in his room, scribbling down whatever lyrics came to mind. Who knew that traumatically presenting would be good for your muse?

He hadn’t expected to get any more visits. To be honest he was a little surprised that anybody at all wanted to visit him, even more that they wanted to court him. He pouted a little when he looked at the IV back in his arm. He was lucky that Doctor Choi understood why he pulled out. He wasn’t really sure that he would do well in a closed part of the hospital.

And then Namjoon heard a knock on the door. Well that was the first time since he got here that anybody actually knocked, mostly people just snuck into his room to look at him while he slept, which he didn’t really understand why people did. He had just… decided to not question why people found it necessary to look at his sleep slack face. “Come in?” Could he tell people to come in in a hospital? What if it was a crazy fan!?

It turned out it wasn’t. Instead it was Minhyuk, Kihyun and Hyungwon standing in the doorway a little hesitant. “Are you okay for us to come in?”

“Yeah of course, at this point you're the only group of people who hasn’t just walked in here while I was sleeping and proceeded to take pictures of me.”

Monsta x was one of the groups that Namjoon in the last year had gotten closer with. With BTS pushing him out he had found himself spending more time with them. Especially Wonho who even though he was an omega acted and seemed to be an alpha. And Hyungwon and he had spent hours before talking about clothes. Overall he would call them friends. Even though he was a little confused about the mixed group before him.

“Zelo?” Hyungwon asked knowingly, the beta taking the chair closest to Namjoon’s bed. “He was very happy sharing those pictures around. I would be surprised if he didn’t send them to every person on his phone. Which saying it outloud does sound a little weird.”

Namjoon didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. He really didn’t need pictures of him sleeping in the hospital bed to reach fans. It really wasn’t how he wanted people to see him. “I swear to god, I’m going to get a lock for the door.”

Minhyuk took the chair on the other side of Namjoon’s bed. Choosing to pull his knees up to his chest, making him look even softer than the blond hair and soft features already said. Minhyuk to this day was still an enigma to Namjoon. He was an alpha he knew, everybody knew that, but his mannerisms and his sweet scent of nutella screamed omega and to protect more than anything. “You think a lock will hold Zelo out? He got in here while you were guarded by two packs and a doctor. I don’t think a lock is going to do the work.”

Namjoon knew he had a point, but it didn’t stop him from pouting. “Why am I the only one who is mildly disturbed about him taking pictures of me while sleeping?”

Kihyun instead decided to take a seat on the foot of Namjoon’s bed. “It is a little weird I will admit that, but more importantly how are you feeling? We heard little pieces from everybody else, but I would prefer hearing what really happened just from you, if you are up to it?”

Namjoon looked away, not being able to look at his fellow idols. “It’s… complicated… Apparently I wasn’t actually a dud, but I had suppressed my own sub-gender. And not having the needs of an omega filled made me unstable.”

Kihyun kinda wanted to point out that the unstabilty  might also come from his extreme light weight, paired with a tall body. “Are you feeling better? You know about this whole omega thing now? I understand that it’s a hard change for you.”

“I never saw myself as an omega.” Namjoon thought about lying for a moment, giving them the answer that he knew that they wanted. But then he just sighed, he couldn’t go on just lying to people. “I’m a rapper… and a leader. Since when are either of those things an omega?”

“This is why I told you that we should have brought Hoseok instead of me.” Minhyuk protested.

Kihyun looked at him unimpressed. “Do you really want Hoseok to hit Namjoon? Because you know he will if he hears him talking shit about omegas.”

“I would prefer not to get hit, if that is okay with you guys?” The newly presented omega hesitantly stated.

Hyungwon decided to maybe save Namjoon a little from the awkward moment. “Don’t think about. You know Hoseok’s omega protection spree. I’m around him all the time, and bound to him, and I still don’t understand the whole ‘I’m an omega, who acts and talks like an alpha, but I’m proud of being an omega thing.’”

“Hard omega.” Minhyuk protested, it was a term that Namjoon had heard from the Monsta x pack many times before. Hard omegas were omegas who liked who they were, and were comfortable with acting more like alpha, but still liked being omegas. Soft alphas… people like Minhyuk, were alphas who were happy being an alpha, but were soft like an omega and acted more like it. Known soft alphas would be Seungri from Big Bang or Jondae from Exo.

“I love both of you and respect you, but I can’t say I understand.” Kihyun smiled at the blond alpha, who just gave him back a smile.

“I apologize Joonie, you get used to being on the brink of getting diabetes from those two. I promise that after while you get used to it.” Hyungwon insisted, while he was playing with the sleeve of Namjoon’s hospital gown. “So I’m going to be real with you for a second, you are not rocking this dress at all.”

And for the first time since he got admitted he realized, that yes he was wearing a dress. Heat flamed up in his cheek as he blushed. “I’m not allowed to wear my own clothing until I leave. The doctor doesn’t trust me to not rip out my IV.”

Minhyuk nodded slowly, the alpha looking at Kihyun for the omega to start the conversation. Kihyun took a deep breath. “While yes we wanted to see if you are okay, I think we both know there is another reason we are here. I know that we are the last group to be here, but I think we are different and could be good for you. You know that we are more diverse in our sub genders, and even if you don’t end up choosing us it might be good for you to learn that being omega isn’t just what the media shows us as. While yes some people like me are happy being a classical kind of omega, there are more kinds.”

While Namjoon had kinda of expected this, he somehow was still surprised that they asked. He was still surprised every time somebody wanted to court him. He kinda wanted to ask if they were sure. He wanted to make sure that they didn’t actually regret it later, but Hyungwon took him out of his thought process. “You forgot to ask the most important part of the question, can we at least do this right?”

It was then Kihyun turn to blush, an honor which seemed to fall all of them at some point. “Yeah… ups… Namjoon will you please let us court you? We all think you could be happy with us.”

Namjoon slowly nodded. “Yeah I would like that, but I’m getting courted by other packs as well.” He didn’t want to lead anybody on. “And I’m still struggling with understanding that it’s okay for me to not join BTS, that it’s okay for me to try if I work in other packs.” It was hard to admit, much harder than Namjoon thought it would.

He wished that he could just be okay, that fixing his issues was just giving him some medicine or waving a wand over his head. Sadly it wasn’t that easy, and he had to constantly fight himself in remembering that he didn’t belong to BTS. That it was okay to try other things. He belonged to himself and he needed to remember that.

“We know, and it’s okay. What you went through is very traumatic and we get it, it’s completely understandable, we are all here to try and…” He never got any further when the door to Namjoon’s hospital got slammed open and Jungkook got dragged in, by his ear, by what looked to be Hakyeon with a thundercloud above his head. “You know what to do.”

And then something happened that Namjoon had never in his life thought would happen, Jungkook got down on his knees and… bowed? Namjoon wasn’t even sure that he could trust his own eyes anymore?

“I’m sorry Namjoon-hyung!” Wow, Namjoon couldn’t remember the last time that Jungkook called him hyung when they were in private. To be honest having Jungkook bowing on his knees for him made him a little uncomfortable, and he wasn’t even sure what Jungkook was apologising for. “I’m sorry for being a terrible alpha to you, I’m sorry for ordering you, I’m sorry for everything!”

Jungkook tried to lookup but Wonshik was there to press his head down. “We have been over this, you look up when you have been forgiven. Not before then do you deserve to look up.”

Okay Namjoon was a little concerned now. They were being very rough with Jungkook he was just a baby alpha who didn’t know better. “Wonshik, please this is too far, you are being very rough with him.”

The Vixx omega just looked at him with a brow raised. “I’m sure that prison for alpha ordering an omega would be more rough on him, and apparently violence is the language he speaks best. And he asked for this.”

Tears were now hitting the floor from where Jungkook was kneeling, but it wasn’t from Wonshik tight grip on his hair. If anything it helped him focus on what he had to do. Helped him focus on the fact that omegas… omegas like Namjoon weren’t like less, that he needed to be better. Not just for BTS, but for himself, he needed to cleanse Yoongi’s teaching from his mind. “It’s okay I asked for it! Just… I need you to understand that I’m sorry! That I know what I did weren’t okay, I’m not in a right place right now! But I’m going to do better, not just for you and Jimin, but for myself and BTS as well. Please! I’m sorry, nobody deserves to be alpha ordered around, please forgive me.”

Namjoon was shocked to say the least, he never thought he would see this day. He hadn’t even really thought about it, he hadn’t seen the order as anything important. He had been in the wrong he had done something he shouldn’t have done, Jungkook had just put him in his place. “Do you forgive him Namjoon?” Taekwoon asked, the pack alpha still standing outside the room, seeming to respect the limit that Doctor Choi had sat.

Namjoon quickly nodded. “Yes of course! There is nothing to forgive!” This caused everybody other than Jungkook and Namjoon to stiffen. They all knew what an order meant, also knew how illegal it was, but Namjoon continued. “I forgive him, now please just let him up this is making me very uncomfortable.”

Wonshik almost pulled him up by his hair, but decided that that was probably not the correct choice. He was already freaking Namjoon out and the point had more been that Jungkook should understand how bad what he had done was compared to Namjoon understanding how bad it was. Taekwoon locked eyes with Hyungwon from across the room. The alpha did a nod towards Namjoon as a signal of ‘You guys take care of that.’ As much as he wanted to make sure that the taller rapper understood how bad what had happened to him was, he had to trust that all of the packs that were currently looking to win Namjoon’s heart would be there to help him heal as well.

He pointed towards his phone, clearly signalling that he wanted to be added to whatever group chat was currently going on about Namjoon’s condition. He had been an idol long enough to know that there was a groupchat, there were group chats for everything! Actually it was getting slightly out of hand. Hyungwon just nodded. He understood with Taekwoon wanted, and while he personally didn’t know the members of Vixx very well, he knew that they cared about Namjoon.

“Thanks Namjoon-hyung.” Jungkook got up from the ground, still not looking Namjoon in the eyes.

“Kookie are you okay?” Well clearly he wasn’t, his eyes were red from crying, and his ear red from getting pulled. So it was safe to say that Jungkook probably had days that he was more okay on.

Jungkook dried his eyes with an angry movement. “I’m ok… Me and Jimin had a fight, and it made me realize… I’m not okay, I’m not treating people… omegas like they are supposed to be treated. I keep treating you guys like you are below me and that isn’t okay. What Yoongi taught me isn’t okay… I’m… I’m getting help, and I’m going to go back to being myself again. So both you and Jimin don’t avoid looking me in the eyes or flinch when I move suddenly, yeah I noticed that as well… I just thought it was respect, but it wasn’t was it? It was fear, I made my own group scared of me, because I took Yoongi’s word as gospel.”

“Yoongi never wanted to hurt you, he just tried to do the best he could.” Jungkook didn’t answer he just looked away and stepped back from Namjoon.

“I’m going to leave now, see you as training Namjoon-hyung and please be careful and enjoy this break.” and then he kinda just walked out of there.

“I thought we agreed to teach a grown adult, not babysit a kid.” It came from Wonshik who just looked after where Jungkook left. “Fuck it I’m going after him I’m draggin him with me see you guys at home. Oh and Namjoon? Think about the note I left you, if you ever feel overwhelmed you know where we are, and we promise to keep the dog in the bedroom while you are there, and the dog for people who didn’t get it is Jungkook.” And then he went after after Jungkook. “Coming back here you baby!”

Hakyeon messaged his temples. “Why does he have to be so extra? Don’t you laugh you are part of the problem you encourage him.”

Taekwoon just laughed a light laugh, it was rare to hear him laugh out loud with other people there but Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling as well. It always looked on the outside like Hakyeon wasn’t just the leader of Vixx, but that he also was their mother, Kihyun just looked at the omega with pity. “Oh god I get this, I get this way too much.”

The two omegas had a moment of solidarity before Hakyeon looked back at Namjoon. “Wonshik in all his madness does have a point, if you feel it’s all too much you know where to find us. Now let's go and find our insane omega before he decided to check if Jungkook is house trained.”

Taekwoon just gave a smile to Namjoon and waved before following his leader. They were out of sight for a while before Minhyuk spoke up. “I don’t know why but Taekwoon terrifies me.”

“What?” That confused Namjoon more than anything.

“Let’s be honest, if it turned out that he killed babies would you be surprised?”

Kihyun facepalmed himself. “Yes, yes we would all be surprised. There are something wrong with you.”

“I actually think Minhyuk is onto something here, think about it for a second. He is stoic, doesn’t speak a lot and tries to avoid laughing with other people near him. Classic serial killer material!” Hyungwon injected.

“Does that mean that we should all worry that Shownu is storing dead babies in your guy’s freezer?” Namjoon tried to logic, trying to hold back a laughter. Silly arguments like this made him feel a lot better.

“Oh believe me I check there every night!” It came from Minhyuk.

A strangled noise came from Kihyun. And for a movement Namjoon was worried that he was dying until he looked at the omega, who just looked constipated as he kept facepalming himself. “Uhm I don’t think that is good for your health?”

“These two aren’t good for my health!”

“Oi! Remember that next time you need somebody to fuck you through your heat!” Minhyuk proudly said with a smirk on his normally soft features.

Another strangled noise from Kihyun. “Don’t say it like that!!!” His voice was now much higher than what Namjoon ever heard it before, and his entire face was red with embarrassment.

“Oh you prefer I say, next time you need somebody to gently place their knot inside you?”

“DON’T SAY THAT INFRONT OF PEOPLE!”

“Namjoon is an adult, I’m pretty sure he understands where knots go. Right Namjoon?”

Now it was Namjoon’s time to blush, his most sexual encounter ever was still having two different omegas grinding on his lap. While he was to awkward to do anything, he just nodded to embarrassed to say anything.

“Oh my god you are virgin aren’t you?” Hyungwon questioned, the beta having almost sparkles in his eyes at the thought.

Namjoon couldn’t get himself to answer he just looked away, refusing to meet anybodies eyes. “This is amazing! I can’t wait to tell the rest of the group!”

“No you can’t tell anybody!” But it was too late Minhyuk was already gone, leaving Namjoon whining in the bed.

“Uhm… I’m pretty sure he meant the group chat… not just Monsta X.”  

Well fuck Namjoon’s life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a celebration for a hitting a huge milestone, which is this story is now longer than the first Harry Potter book!  
> IMPORTANT THIS HAPPENS AFTER HIDDEN OMEGA! So... enjoy Lu Han's little story!
> 
> Lu Han caressed the scar no longer visible on his stomach, he wished that it was still visible, a clear visible marker of the child SM would never let him see, a child that had no real chance in life, ripped from Lu Han before he was ready to let it go. He never thought he would miss having a child inside him, but now as he stood in front of his Korean manager, stomach empty and neck mark free, he wanted nothing more than to feel a bump under his hand.  
> He failed as an omega he knew it, he was nothing more than a failure, a pill bottle was set in front of him. It was his kind of birth control "I assume we don't need to new kind?"
> 
> Lu Han just shook his head "no, I will behave."
> 
> "Good boy" the omega wanted to throw up, that was Minseok's name for him, it felt wrong out of the female managers mouth "You will rejoin exo for their 2017 releases, we have already prepared a statement that you have recovered from the sickness."
> 
> The beta was calling his child a sickness, he wanted to cry, but he had no tears. This was all his own fault "Can I rejoin the pack?"
> 
> She looked at him with sharp eyes "You can, remember you contract you are not allowed to tell him anything about the parasite." He hated that they called his baby that, they hadn't even told him the gender of his own baby!
> 
> "I understand" he had to keep it together, he could join the pack soon, he knew Minseok and Sehun were waiting for him no matter much of a failure he was as an omega, no matter how dirty he were they would wait for him!
> 
> "Don't assume they will you back tho, they have replaced you, even made an upgrade if you as me." He smile was ugly and sharp as she handed him a picture.
> 
> What he saw made him want to throw up, it was his Minnie and Hunnie half fighting over who could get the new omega to sit in the lap with a wide smile on their lips. That wasn't the worst, the worst was what was sitting high on the omega's throat... A bite that he recognized... This was exo's new omega, then he understood, Lu Han wasn't worth it.


	22. Because I have no regrets from loving you, so only take the good memories I can bear it in some way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think you so much for all the insane support! 25k hits! That's insane!!!!
> 
> Also, nobody guessed the mystery omega from LuHan's preview!

“Taehyung!” Wonwoo’s voice seemed far away fro Taehyung, the whole world seemed to be floating for some reason. **  
**

“What happened?!” Jihoon’s voice was high and sounded… scared? What happened? Why did his head feel so heavy?

“I don’t know, he saw the cloth and then he just zoned out and when I touched him he just collapsed! I only just managed to catch him before he hit the ground.” now Wonwoo’s voice was full of panic as well “I don’t know what I did! I never meant to hurt him! He just normally like cute things, so I thought he would like the shirt! He was fine when we went and fed the ducks two weeks ago! I’m sorry!”

Then Taehyung felt a sudden pain his right cheek as something smacked him accross the face, and it was like he get jerked back into his own body as he opened his eyes and gasped for air suddenly aware of the fact that all member of the older Seventeen pack was standing around him. Seokmin was the one leaning over him with his hand raised “I’m sorry, but I were worried when you didn’t react.”

Taehyung nodded still a little confused about it all and he rubbed his cheek, then noticing he was more or less lying on Wonwoo “It’s okay Seokie, I… I don’t know what happened, I saw the duck and I…”

Then he remembered what he had seen and he looked away from them “I just remembered thing’s I didn’t want to remember.” he mumbled a little ashamed of his episode.

“Ey don’t do that.” Wonwoo mumbled, still holding the beta close to his chest “You don’t have to hide from us, we know the whole story, it’s okay around us.” he was half hiding his face in the olders hair, he had been worried that he had somehow broken Taehyung.

Before Taehyung could speak up Seungcheol did it instead “What about we all get some food, and some of us have vocal practice to attend to.” With that he looked at the vocal unit members one after another.

Wonwoo helped Taehyung up on his legs showing him the kitchen shutting the door behind him leaving Seungcheol with the vocal members, Joshua being the first to speak up “I thought we were in this together! All of us! You can’t just ship half of us to practice, we all care for Tae!” his normal soft and wellmanered person gone.

Seungcheol sighed “That is not what this is about, I’m not trying to push anybody out or doing so only we spend time with Tae… But I don’t want to overwhelm him right now, and you guys do actually have practice. So we spend the time now, get him to calm down and talk, and when we go to practice later you guys will be here and we don’t overwhelm him.” he looked at Jihoon for assistance, the pack alpha just nodded.

“He is right and we all know it, we still have no idea what happened with BTS to push him to this point, but it is the worst point he has been in in a long time, and I don’t want to overwhelm him with to many people, neither do I want to leave him alone when we go to train.”

Surprisingly it was Seungkwan that acted first, grabbing Seokmin and Joshua under the arm “The faster we get there and finish the faster we get back here, now stop complaining.”

And then the youngest omega of the vocal group somehow managed the drag both an alpha and a beta out of the room, leaving Jeonghan, Jihoon and Seungcheol behind. The omega looked after his leaving members “So I understand that Taehyung needs space, but is there an option where I just go back and sleeps? I promise I won’t overwhelm him.”

“You lazy bastard, we are going to practice,” by that Jihoon grabbed the long haired omega by the wrist to start dragging him “And please be careful with Tae, I have this feeling that something bad have happened, much worse than we think.”

The Seventeen leader just nodded looking after them, he had the feeling that it was much worse than they expected as well. He wasn’t really sure what he expected when he went back into the kitchen, maybe a hostile and none welcoming environment. What he definitely didn’t expect was Taehyung sitting on Wonwoo lap while Vernon was busy trying to shove way too much rice into his mouth, Mingyu looking like he was about to die from laughter as Taehyung’s cheeks swelled up like chipmunk.

“Do I even want to know what is going on?” Seungcheol asked laughing a little under his breath.

“I’m feeding our baby!” Vernon exclaimed, trying to hold back the laughter.

Taehyung didn’t seem to agree with this point “I’m older than you!” he exclaimed with rice going everywhere, just coursing everybody to laugh more “And I can feed myself.”  

“Shhhh babies don’t speak” Wonwoo teased, holding him in his position when he struggled to get down.

Taehyung looked at Seungcheol with a begging look to free him, while yes it was fun the oldest beta ended up taking mercy on him, “Let Taehyung down, it looks like he is about the be killed by rice down the wrong pipe.”

“You are so boring,” Vernon teased but he removed the food away from Taehyung’s mouth as the BTS member got let down, quickly taking hiding behind Seungcheol.

“They are evil!” he theater whispered into Seungcheol’s ear, which made a light laughter settle over the entire kitchen, before everybody sat down to actually eat.

The table was in comfortable silence until Wonwoo broke it “Are you sure you are okay? You cheek is very red.”

Taehyung had completely forgotten that he had gotten slapped and as he lightly touched the skin it was sensitive and hot, but it didn’t really annoy him “It’s fine, I needed it I couldn’t focus for some reason it was very weird.”

“I can’t wait for your fans to see you with a handprint on your cheek,” Vernon teased mouth full while he spoke making Seungcheol look at him disgusted, “I can’t wait to see who they blame!”

“Maybe they blame your rude ass?” Mingyu teased.

Taehyung felt so happy sitting here between them as they teased each other, it had been a long time since his own pack was this carefree with each other. With all the issues going on, and their seeming inability to talk to each other moment’s like this had been sparse and long between. This was what he missed, the light teasing each other without anybody feeling threatened. Moments while an omega like Vernon could tease the older alpha Mingyu without feeling threatened.

Taehyung could remember before him and the rest of the maknae line had presented, Jimin could tease Jungkook without flinching every time he moved. He missed those days, he missed just huddling up and nobody thinking about their sub gender, “Tae? You are spacing out again, and you dropped your rice onto your towel, had you noticed you are still only wearing a towel?” Vernon questioned while casually eating, like he had just asked Taehyung if he had noticed that it was raining outside.

Taehyung looked down, and… yes he was indeed still only wearing a towel! How had he not noticed this?! “The cloths is still in the hallway if you are okay wearing the shirt?” Wonwoo was hesitant with this, which he should be cause he got slapped in the back of the head by Mingyu.

“Of course he isn’t okay with wearing it! Do you even try to use our brain?” even tho the younger was scolding him, there was still no heat in his voice, and really it just coursed Wonwoo to whine out loud

“Stop hitting me, asshole!” this just coursed Vernon laugh, cause apparently he was a kid that still found the word asshole funny, which coursed Taehyung to giggle as well trying to cover his mouth.

“Please stop, I’m fine wearing the shirt it was very cute. I just hadn’t expected it.” he giggled, eyes sparkling and box smile showing, which stopped the two alpha’s bickering.

“If all we need for them to stop fighting like small kids is for you to smile at them, we are keeping you and that was not a request.” Seungcheol teased.

Vernon had gone back to eating, and again spoke with his mouthful “I’m pretty sure that it’s foreplay for them!”

Instead of denying it both alpha’s just blushed and looked away from each other, which made Taehyung look for person to person with a wide grin on his face “oh my god! You are right! It’s totally their pre fucking ritual!”     

“Go find you cloth Taehyung! See if I ever get you something again just because it’s cute!” Wonwoo pouted now, looking much more like a sad puppy with his long black bangs falling into his eyes than the oldest alpha of the pack.

“Don’t worry TaeTae! I will get you cute thing’s instead! I am the leader of cute things!” he jumped up the grab Taehyung’s arm to once again drag the beta around, this time to his cloth.

Taehyung blushed as he looked at the cloth and then to Vernon who didn’t look away, “uhm are you going to turn around?”

At that Vernon just looked confused “Why? I have seen you naked before? You rode me during my heat! You have nothing to be shy about?”

Again Taehyung blushed, this time a full body blush “We agreed on not talking about that!”

“Why it was hot! Jeonghan agreed!” the omega couldn’t stop himself from teasing Taehyung was just too adorable to not.

Taehyung threw his towel at Vernon’s head quickly grabbing for the underwear to get on, which he didn’t manage to finish before a light slap was delivered to his ass coursing him to whine “Vernon!”

“Sorry! I couldn’t stop myself, you can get dressed now I promise!”

Taehyung quickly pulled on the rest of the cloth, a pair of loose shorts smelling faintly of pomegranate telling him that they were probably from Wonwoo’s closet, the sweater tho smell completely clean and seemed to be knew, the fabric soft. As he pulled it on the sweater was big enough to glide down one of his shoulders the giant yellow duck proudly sitting on the front of it “This is new isn’t it?”

“Yeah we got it for you, so you don’t have to borrow cloth from everybody else!” Vernon said again dragging him towards the room he shared with Seungkwon.

“Why do I feel like I have been kidnapped?” Taehyung asked a little hesitantly when he got pushed down onto the bed and then arranged however he wanted before Vernon koaled up behind him hugging him close with both legs and arms.

“Don’t call it that” Vernon laughed, teasing Taehyung by blowing into his ear, Taehyung’s scent of peanuts mixing with Vernon’s own twix scent.

“We smell like the world's best Chocolate bar!” which coursed both of them to giggle and Taehyung relaxed into Vernon’s sweet omega scent, with only having Jimin as an omega in BTS and Jimin prefering to cuddle with the alpha’s it was so rare that he actually got to enjoy this until he noticed something.

“Are you trying to inhale my hair?”

Vernon just giggled and went back to burying his head in Taehyng’s hair “Laugh all you want, we only have 2 beta’s and Seungcheol is busy doing leading stuff whatever that means! And Joshua is rewatching one piece, which you are not going to make me do unless you have a gun at my head!” he whined.

Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from giggling at that, “I understand that way too much,”

“So is this a cute chocolate-bar party thing only or can the rest of us join since you rudely left us?” seemed that the rest of Seventeen’s HipHop unit had finally noticed that they were missing for to long to just be getting Taehyung some cloth.

“You sure you aren’t busy with leader stuff?” Vernon pouted sticking his tongue out at Seungcheol who just shook his head.

“You are still pouty that I weren’t home for your heat aren’t you? We are 9 people and you still get pouty when we aren’t all here.” The leader teased, and from Vernon’s spot behind Taehyung he could feel how the omega was blushing, “Taehyung? Are you ready to talk about what happened, you know it feels better after you talked about it.”

Seungcheol took a spot on the floor resting against the wall, not overwhelming the BTS beta with two many people being too close to him at once, not that Mingyu seemed to care as he sat infront of Taehyung leaning his back against the bed so Taehyung could lightly scratch his hair and play with the undercut his hair was currently in. Wonwoo ended up pushing Seungcheol around until the olderman was sitting between his legs and he himself was leaning against the wall.

Taehyung took a deep breath, he knew that they were right he always felt better after talking, and they were the only people that he could actually talk to about this, “Namjoon presented as an omega.”

“Aren’t he dud? And 21? That’s a little late to present.” Vernon questioned gently petting Taehyung’s stomach under the oversized sweater.

“Yeah, turned out he wasn’t a dud. He was suppressing his sub-gender without knowing, he was starving himself to be a better idol… We didn’t notice, so he ended up having a heart attack that forced his presentation on him. He was in the hospital, and I were already feeling bad cause I hadn’t noticed how our leader was suffering. We… We had kicked him out of the nest, Jungkook was having trouble sleepings, and kicking out an omega is… it’s bad, and Jungkook had alpha ordered him when we found out that Namjoon had been taking Jungkook’s shirts, probably for the scent. Then Jungkook flipped out, I didn’t really understand what happened, I were in my own head. Suddenly T.O.P-sunbaenim was holding him while the doctor was knocking him out with a needle. Then Jinnie left, running away, so me and Jimin agreed to follow Jungkook to where he was going to wake up, cause it turned out that he had problems with his hormones.” Taehyung took a short break to center himself again, Vernon’s strong present behind him and Mingyu’s hair under his fingertips, he could do this, “We had to walk past the cancer ward… one of the doors were open and I saw a child crying next to what look like her mother’s bed. I all got to much… I needed to get out of there.” He hadn’t noticed he had started crying until Vernon was whispering sweet nothing into his ear to calm him down.

“Tae it’s understandable that you got upset, Mingyu had turned around so he were now looking at Taehyung, taking his hands between his “You shouldn’t feel bad, I understand that the issues with Namjoon are bad, and it’s something you guys have to work on as a pack, but you shouldn’t feel bad for getting out of there. I know that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with them the reason, or sharing it with anybody really, but you can’t help anybody if you don’t help yourself first, you understand that right baby?” Mingyu’s voice was mild and calming and Taehyung just nodded, he knew that Mingyu was right it was just hard to deal with. Had he not been in shock over what had happened to Namjoon and he hadn’t really noticed that they were in a hospital he would probably have freaked out.

Most of the time he freaked out just with the mention of a hospital and specially with the idea of going there, they held too many bad memories. That made Taehyung think of the first time he really met Seventeen, it had been after a some kind of award show they had still been at, Taehyung had long since forgot which one it was he could just remember that Jimin had hurt his leg quite badly. They would have to go to the hospital, and Yoongi was freaking out a little bit, it was the first time Jimin had gotten hurt since he and Taehyung had presented, Yoongi was trying to get them all to the hospital with Jimin but Taehyung had freaked out. He couldn’t go to the hospital! He knew he couldn’t go to the hospital!

He had refused, hit Yoongi when he had reached for him, he couldn’t explain why he could go he simply wasn’t ready! Yoongi hadn’t understood, all he knew was that their only omega was hurt, that he was the pack alpha and his beta was acting like a child! In the end he had just given up yelled at an already scared Taehyung that if he was going to be a child about it he could just stay here and found his way home alone!

He had left Taehyung standing in the room alone, the moment Yoongi was out of side Taehyung had tears running down his eyes, and he couldn’t breath as he felt an panic attack coming up, as he reached a point where he thought he was going to die, where the breathing problems just got too bad somebody was there to guide him out of it. Telling him to take deep breaths, and yes that was good, he was being good boy, just to keep breathing like that.

When the worst of the panic attack was finally over and Taehyung opened his eyes, he found Jihoon the pink haired alpha was… a lot shorter than him, but he was smiling softly at Taehyung “That’s better?”

Taehyung nodded slowly a little ashamed that he had been caught having a panic attack “Yeah… Thank you, uhm… how much did you hear?”

Jihoon just shrugged his shoulder’s “All of it , but we doesn’t have to talk about it. I understand, I also understand that you are all alone here now? We are going home to get food we got a spot for one more if you want?”

“Really?” Taehyung had been surprised that they would allow that, but then he hesitantly nodded. He wasn’t sure how to get home really, and he knew he didn’t want to return to their empty dorm.

“Of course! We are so many people already that one more doesn’t hurt!” Jihoon had said, taking his hand in his much much smaller one, wow he had smaller hands than Jimin! And showed him over to the rest of Seventeen that happily welcomed him, a good few of the members hadn’t presented yet, and some of them was even older than Taehyung.

He ended up actually enjoying his time with Seventeen, and he became close friends with them, but that wasn’t the day he told them the full story, that was months later. Jungkook had presented and BTS had had a fight, this time about how Seokjin would just in the middle of conversation get up and leave, Taehyung had needed a space to feel safe and that was the Seventeen dorm. When he arrived there only a few members had been there, and Taehyung had broken down and confessed everything, his past, how he felt that he was a failure to his mother because he wasn’t an omega. The sad memory of that day had turned happy, and he no longer remembered it as the time his pack fought but the time he finally told the truth.

At the present Taehyung had fallen asleep crying, exhausted himself. Mingyu leaning over to kiss him on the forehead, pulling back when Wonwoo spoke up “Don’t get too attached Min… You know he isn’t ours…”

“But he could be… He could be happy with us.”

“No Min… He is happy with BTS… We are not going to ruin that for him.”

“You love him to!” Mingyu insisted.

Wonwoo just smiled sadly “Sadly… Mine or anybody else in this packs feelings doesn’t matter… So yes… I love him just as much as you do… Enough to let him go, you and Jeonghan need’s to do that… You know I’m right.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was bitter sweet, unrequited love... cause nothing is ever easy in this story now is it?
> 
> I hope you all have a good day!


	23. A prisoner of many But I’m running away I’m sick of it, I’m grizzled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has been a week I know, but I'm not abandoning the story! Little more info in the bottom notes!

Jungkook couldn’t explain as he followed Taekwoon, Hakyeon and Wonshik back to their dorms, his instinct was telling him to go back and demand that Namjoon forgot all he said and how he acted pathetic. He knew that it was the right thing to do, but he also couldn’t stop himself from thinking it was wrong.

His head was one big mess, and he had a hard time keeping track of all that had happened. First he had been in the hospital, Hakyeon had managed to convince the doctor that since there were technically nothing wrong with him as long as he took his medicine, that they… They meaning the rest of Vixx… were a much better place for him to heal his mental state than the hospital, somehow he had made her agree.

Then came the point where he had to sit down and explain to all three of them what had gone on, and every time they thought he lied they would push him for the truth. God he was sure that Taekwoon was actually a fucking lie detector at this point.

When he got to the point with the alpha order, that was when things kinda turned sour. It was like he could physically sense the room temperature drop. “You alpha ordered your group leader? As the maknae in your group and newly presented alpha you alpha ordered your leader?” Wonshik sounded like he couldn’t actually believe what he heard.

“He was a dud! I couldn’t know that he was actually an omega, he just really annoyed me!” Jungkook hung his head, not wanting to look at the two very angry omegas and Taekwoon who just looked disappointed in him.

Hakyeon snorted in an unattractive way. “Well if annoying is the classification for getting alpha ordered you are fucked Wonshik, you are going to be under forever.”

Wonshik for once didn’t take to the joke just staring down Jungkook. “Not now Hakyeon, to important for jokes. You are going to apologize to Namjoon. You want to stop being an asshole and learn how to be more than the alpha Yoongi taught you to be, this is how you start. I want you to apologize to Namjoon, not just apologize I want you to get down on your knees and beg him for forgiveness.”

That got Jungkook to actually look up from his hands. “You what? I can’t do that!”

“Well okay then you are on your own then, let’s go home I think the rest are waiting for us. If they have actually woken up yet.” Taekwoon got up from his chair, as if to leave the two omegas following.

Jungkook bit his bottom lip as he reached out to grab the other alpha’s wrist. “Okay, I will do it… I want to change, but you have to understand this is hard for me. It’s against everything I have learned.”

He got the first smile since all of this had stopped when Hakyeon patted him on his head. “It’s okay, admitting you want to change is the first step. We are going to be patient with you.”

“We are?”

“Don’t listen to him, Wonshik is special. He likes to seem all hard on the outside, but he's a softy on the inside.”

“He is?”

“I am?” Taekwoon and Wonshik questioned at the same time.

“Ignore them. Let’s go and see Namjoon now, it has been a few hours he might be awake now.”

The meeting with Namjoon could technically have gone worse, he managed to do what was asked of him even if he had to fight his own instinct to make sure he didn’t do something stupid. The worst part of it was how frail Namjoon looked in the bed, and the fact that he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen the BTS leader smile.

When Taekwoon found him he was standing in a corner taking deep breath and cradling his hand from where he had hit the wall. Which turned out to be much stronger than his hand. “I understand that it was hard, but you did really well Jungkook you should be proud of himself.”

“It’s the first time I have seen him since Yoongi hit him. I didn’t think much about it when it happened, I didn’t even do anything to stop him. I might be the youngest, but seeing Namjoon like that makes me sick to my stomach. You know what the worst part was? Some part of me still wants to put him in his place. I know that it’s okay and he should be courted by other than just us, but a part of me wants to lock him up and demand he stays with us, since he is ours. How fucked is that? He is Namjoon! The same person who sat me down when I just arrived here to explain to me that he understood that I missed my family pack, but it was all going to be okay because they were going to look after me. Now I just want to treat him like some thing.” Jungkook hit the wall again in a frustrated movement. “And he would let me! That’s the fucking problem! He sees no issue with what me and Yoongi did! If Yoongi arrived right now, and told him that they were going home and removed him from his friends, I’m not sure Namjoon would say no!”

Taekwoon laid a gentle hand on the younger alpha’s shoulder. “You see it now. That’s good we can work with that, but you need to let it go and trust that everybody else will be here to protect Namjoon from himself. You need to focus on getting better Jungkook first then can you help everybody else.”

Jungkook sighed and looked up at Leo, first then did he notice… Oh god he was going to be shorter than all of Vixx wasn’t he?

Jungkook was quiet on the entire way back to the Vixx dorm. They stopped shortly at his own to get some of Jungkook’s clothes. The BTS dorm was weirdly empty and cold something he wasn’t used to.

Wonshik was the person nosey as ever that noticed Namjoon’s room. “Who sleeps in here? I thought you had 1 nest not 2?”

Oh yeah, he had forgot to tell them about that. “That’s Namjoon’s room he slept there since I presented, his scent was off as you guys know. I had a struggle sleeping.” The words were like mud in his mouth, he knew that sending Namjoon to the room to sleep by himself was wrong. But he also couldn’t help but feel it had been the right choice. He was a young alpha he needed sleep, no that was wrong! Alphas weren’t worth more than any other sub gender! ‘Get out of my head Yoongi!’ he thought.

“You guys sent him to sleep in a room alone, because you had trouble sleeping. This is a joke right? Please Jungkook tell me this is a bad joke, tell me you and Yoongi aren’t actually that heartless and the rest of BTS spineless.” The disappointed look had made a return to his face with an added harsh grimace.

Oh how Jungkook just seemed to be amazing at disappointing people lately. “I… I’m out of excuses… I just wanted to sleep, you know we hardly get enough sleep as idols.”

“Yeah… Maybe you wanna talk with Namjoon about not getting enough sleep. I bet he loved sleeping by himself for months as an omega.” Wonshik didn’t even look at him when he turned around. “I’m going to wait outside, I need to make a call so the rest of the guys know you are coming.”

Jungkook felt like he wanted to cry, he hated disappointing people and for some reason it felt even worse that it was Wonshik. “Don’t take it so hard, he is going to come around,” Hakyeon was leaning against the doorframe, “He knows that he isn’t always amazing at controlling himself so he removed himself before he said or did something he would regret. Jungkook you have to understand that as an omega to be removed from the people we see as pack and forced to be around with no scent, it would slowly drive omegas insane. We need other people around us and if we can’t have that we substitute it for scent. This room smells like nothing it’s like it’s dead. Namjoon probably didn’t get more than a few hours as max here.” He patted Jungkook lightly on the head. “You're a good kid, just a little missguided.”

“I’m 18 I’m not a kid!” Jungkook protested, “You’re just an old man!”

Hakyeon just laughed lightly. “Let’s help Taekwoon get the rest of your stuff, and then go and find Wonshik. God knows it’s a bad idea to leave either of those two alone for an extended amount of time. A good rule of thumb while you are at our place, if both of them are trying to get you to do something, run away. They get up to weird shit.”

“I thought he was pack alpha? Doesn’t he have to be serious?”

“God, this is why you need to finish high school, Hyuk can tell you the history of pack alphas and their importance, he actually likes that stuff. And Taekwoon likes to pretend he is serious and stoic in interviews, but really he is just… Taekwoon, I don’t know how to explain it any better. We had a week where Wonshik decided he was the pack alpha, idiot forgot his heat was coming up… That was a weird week. Those two are a push pull thing, it’s complicated.” Hakyeon held the door open for Jungkook, lightly pushing him towards the exit.

When they got to the dorms Jaehwan was waiting for them outside, sitting up against the door under the half roof drawing something, until he looked up noticing them. “Oh, I thought you had died at the hospital or Wonshik had been captured and put in a closed ward.”

“Haha you are so funny,” the other omega mumbled, “has everybody else woken up yet?”

“Define woken up? They haven’t left the nest, but they are very much awake.” He mumbled around the pen his was chewing on.

Hakyeon sighed. “Of course we get stuck with the two betas who fuck more than omegas in heat, I’m gonna go and see if I can drag them away from each other enough for them to meet our guest.”

Jaehwan looked over him for a second and then sent him a grin. “You are short for an alpha.”

This made everybody laugh and removed the awkwardness. Even if Jungkook was pouting mumbling that Jellyfish must of fed them something weird, because it wasn’t normal everybody was this tall.

Wonshik offered to show him where he could put his stuff down. He expected to be shown to the nest of the pack, it was pretty much normal between idols that you slept in the nest with group when you were at their place. Jungkook himself had slept in more nests than he would probably admit to so when he got showed to a guest room that had nothing more than a bed and a closet he was a little surprised. “I won't be staying in the nest with you guys?”

Wonshik just smirked at him, and Jungkook never saw what he needed to call home about this was about how he had made Namjoon sleep in the guest room. “At some point maybe you will, but for now you will stay here. I don’t trust you around our omegas so until I think you are trustworthy and treat them right you will stay here, and if you think it’s bad think about the bright side, atleast we treat you like a human with worth.”

“You are aware that you are an omega as well? You speak like you aren’t”

Wonshik just grinned. “I know what I am, but I could break your arm and enjoy it, so we both know that you aren’t a threat to me. Now grab your gym clothes we are getting something to eat then heading to the gym, you need an healthy release for your anger. Cya in the kitchen baby knot-head.”

As Jungkook looked surprised after Wonshik, a little bit afraid of what he had gotten himself into and maybe a little bit amazed because he's never had an omega talk to him like that, Jimin had been guided to the spare nest in the Exo dorms.

Baekhyun gliding his hands through his own hair in a half panic. “Jimin your heat is way too close for you to be able to leave here without issues! Why aren’t you back home?!”

Jimin let out a hollow laugh that wasn’t him. He just stared at his hands that were lightly shaking. His entire body was overheated from what Jimin now recognized as preheat. “Yoongi is gone nobody knows where he is, other than Bang PD-nim texted us not to worry he is okay, Hoseok is having a mental breakdown and Jungkook thinks what omegas does are humiliating, and I don’t trust him,” he looked up at Baek with tears in his eyes, “I didn’t know where to go, you are the omega I knew the best. I was scared.”

“Aw Jimin,” Baekhyun gathered Jimin up in his arms slowly rocking him back and forth in his arms, “I told you that you needed friends that weren’t just the people in your pack. Please everything is going to be okay you are safe here now.”

“Please don’t throw me out, I don’t know where to go.” Jimin’s skin was hot and slightly sweaty against the exo member’s skin and Baekhyun knew the signs. Jimin wasn’t just in preheat he was very close to a full blown heat. He had to make a decision now, and he knew what the right one was.

He might not know the full story of what had gone on with BTS, but he knew that he couldn’t call them to take care of Jimin. There was only one right thing to do. “Jimin look at me baby, I need you to listen to me and for you to give me a clear answer.” He leaned his forehead against Jimin’s  looking in the tear filled eyes. “Are you still in your right mind to give me real answers?”

Jimin nodded slowly, he could feel the heat creeping up on him, but he was still clear minded, “Good, Minnie we have choice now. You can’t go home and I don’t think getting your pack here is a real option. Do you trust me enough to help you through your preheat? We have spent time together before, I know it isn’t like a heat, but I want to keep you safe and don’t want you in heat.”

Baekhyun could see how Jimin was thinking as he lightly bit his bottom lip. “Yoongi is going to be so mad at me.” He whispered. “He only accepts it since we have no other omega.”

The older omega had some very strong thoughts about Yoongi, he didn’t specifically like the BTS pack alpha, he always thought he was to possessive and he didn’t like the way that the younger alpha treated omegas. “Minnie this isn’t about Yoongi, this is about you and your body. There is nothing wrong with spending you heat with somebody else we both know this, think back on school. Remember how nurses and Biology teachers always told everybody how omegas bodies are their own and alphas don’t own them. Your body your choice.”

Baekhyun knew that something was wrong in the BTS pack. Since Lu Han had left their pack he had gotten to spend a lot more time around Jimin. omegas needed each other for balance. While yes they have been courting Mark, he never felt right to him. He had instead prefered to spend the time with Jimin, he liked Mark no doubt about it, and he would have made a good addition to their pack, but Baekhyun couldn’t really pretend that he was to upset that Mark had chosen Got7 instead of him.

“Won’t Minseok-hyung be mad at you?” Jimin mumbled, he didn’t want to go through a heat alone, but he really didn’t want to get Baekhyun in trouble with his pack alpha. He knew that Yoongi would not accept him helping somebody through their heat, especially after Jimin saw him slap Namjoon for sleeping with Got7. Which Jimin wasn’t even sure that he had done!

Baekhyun giggled a bit, grabbing Jimin’s hand to hold it gently. “No of course not, Minseok and everybody else understands, he might be a little huffy puffy over not getting invited, but that is what happens when you have 4-5 alphas and only one omega. Is that a yes, you would accept me helping your through it?”

Jimin slowly nodded giving Baekhyun’s hand a squish. “Yeah… I… I don’t want the pain, the pain scares me, and I don’t want to be alone. Heat makes me feel like I’m drowning when people leave me alone too long.”

The older bit his own lip a little, Jimin had complained before that his heats were so strong, and Baekhyun wanted to make sure that he had the best experience he could give him, but he knew he couldn’t do that alone. He raked his brain. He knew that another alpha would be a bad idea, that would made Jimin feel guilty about Yoongi, fucking possessive asshole, his first choice would have been Jongdae a soft alpha who would have worked wonders with Jimin. Baekhyun had an idea that Jimin would really enjoy that, but soft or not… Jongdae was still an alpha. That left Kyungsoo, Yixing and Junmyeon.

“Jimin, I want to make this the best for you as I can, but I need help. Especially since I want to make sure I don’t go into a sympathy heat.”

“Sympathy heat?” Jimin looked confused, and his eyes were starting to be a little unfocused in front of Baekhyun.

“Oh god I keep forgetting you guys never had another omega, sympathy heats is something that two omegas who are close can go into if one helps the other through a heat. Tao and Lu Han always went into sympathy heats with each other, it was actually pretty funny, but I know you don’t want an alpha here, so I want to go and get Yixing if that is okay with you. He is home and he is a beta which can really help us.”

Jimin didn’t have to think long he just nodded. “I trust you, but please don’t be gone long.” His grip on the others wrist was hard and he was a little scared of the other omega leaving him alone.

“I promise, I will get us some food and water as well you will need it.” Baekhyun went to place a kiss on his forehead before thinking, ‘fuck it I’m helping him through his heat’ and placing it on his lips instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I know it has been a while, but it has simply been because to make sure that I don't go dry in this story, to make sure I don't end up hating writing this I need to take breaks to write other stuff!
> 
> Currently I'm doing a 30 day writing challenge, to do smaller stories! That doesn't mean I'm stopping this just slowing down a little, and hopefully in the end of this month I will be back with full speed! There will be times under this story I will do this, cause I want to finish this, but I also don't want to rush it!
> 
> Also I had to write this chapter twice since my laptop decided to go crazy and fail updating making me do a full clean so I lost:  
> This chapter,  
> Almost finished Vixx Hidden omega side story,  
> Jongin's part in the SHINee side story to this story,  
> Taehyung x Jungkook Hybrid story  
> Jimin x Namjoon Stereotypes chapter.
> 
> Yes I'm crying


	24. And with that... The story starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING SMUT! And a long chapter!

Baekhyun managed to calm Jimin down enough so the younger omega let go of him. He was pretty sure that the main reason he managed was the promised of water and a protein bar. Jimin had been at the hospital for 2 days, he hadn’t been eating or drinking enough for a normal person, but especially not for an omega going into heat.

The exo omega ran right into Jongin on his way out of the room. Jongin could smell the scent of heat lingering on him and he wrapped the shorter male up in a hug. “Are you okay? It’s way too early for you to go back into heat, you could get really sick! What happened?”

While Jongin wasn’t part of the Exo pack, he did spend A LOT of time with them and he was a little protective of Baekhyun since they had already lost two omegas and a heat right now could make him really sick. Baek just bopped him on the nose. “It’s not mine you silly alpha. It’s Jimin’s.”

“Do you need me to call the rest of BTS while you keep him calm?” Hearing that it wasn’t Baekhyun’s didn’t really calm him down that much. Jimin was far from home and having his heat. So okay he was protective by nature, he blamed it on Taemin and his need to never say when things are wrong until they blow up in his head.

Baekhyun just lightly shook his head. “Things are bad with them, I will be spending his heat with him instead.” The older of the two lightly bit his lip. “Could I get you to grab a few heat supplies for me? He has been in the hospital the last few days with the rest of BTS so he hasn’t eaten a lot and it worries me a bit, and then after warn the rest of the group? Especially the alphas, Jimin will panic if he smells another alpha. He think’s Yoongi will get angry with him if he spends it with another alpha.”

Jongin just nodded, he wasn’t emotionally linked to Baekhyun which was probably why it was so easy for him to keep calm. “Of course, but can you atleast ask a beta to help you or call an omega, I’m not  comfortable with you doing this alone.”

“I’m asking Yixing, he is probably the best bet on being somebody that Jimin can feel comfortable with. Then you go and see your own pack, don’t worry about me. You are having black circles because you have been to busy with us! Go you silly alpha, I’m an adult and your hyung.” Baekhyun lightly scolded Jongin who just looked sheepishly at Baekhyun.

“I will get the stuff, text people and the manager then leave. Be careful Baek, I know you are just being a friend, but we also know that you get attached way too quickly. I’m seeing through you, you might act like you are okay. But I know that you miss Lu Han and Tao the most out of everybody.”

“Don’t speak about them.” Baekhyun’s voice was cold now, but also soft and fragile. “We don’t talk about them you know that.”

“I’m sorry.” He placed a light kiss on the other male's forehead. “Yixing is in the shower.” Baekhyun just nodded and left in a half run towards the bathroom as Jongin sighed looking after him.

He wished that Baekhyun would accept that it was okay for him to have emotions. Just because Sehun and Minseok were a mess from LuHan and their child getting taken away from him that didn’t mean that it wasn’t okay for Baekhyun not to be the strong one. ‘Don’t get too attached Baek, please. You are just going to get hurt.’

Baekhyun didn’t knock before opening the bathroom door, he was in a hurry and manners weren’t really something that he used anymore. He did stop for a second to admire the water running down Yixing’s long body. “Baek?”

The beta looked actually surprised. “I thought you hated showering with other people?”

“I do, you are all terrible people that bath in cold water.” Baekhyun mumbled, still a little distracted by the naked body infront of him, to his defense it was a very good looking body.

Yixing just laughed washing the last shampoo out of his hair. “That or you shower in boiling water. Something wrong or did you just want to inappropriately stare at me while I shower?”

Baekhyun stuck out his tongue at the chinese beta. “You’re my packmate, which means that this is the appropriate way to look at you, so… how are you? Got your energy back after my last heat?” He asked in the most innocent voice he could muster.

“Is that your way of asking me to bed?” He turned off the water and grabbed the shower, and then he noticed the low scent of heat mixed with Baekhyun’s normal cotton candy scent. “No, that is way too early Baek you need to see a doctor now, your body is not ready to carry another heat this early!”

Baekhyun just sighed annoyed. “Both you and Jongin are so over protective, and stupid. Have I showed any sign of preheat at all? No! Good so it isn’t my heat! It’s Jimin, he got here not even noticing that he was in heat! BTS has issues, and I’m not letting him go through the pain of doing it alone! So I’m helping him, and I want you to join me.”

Yixing looked confused for a second. “I understand why you wouldn’t get Kyung since Jimin is still a little scared of him and I understand why you wouldn’t get Minnie or Sehun they still aren’t ready. But why not Yeol? If it’s because Jimin prefers alphas more soft then get Jongdae, an alpha would be better with him.”

“Jimin is scared of having an alpha with him, it’s complicated. Tldr, fuck Yoongi, just trust me on this one. And I know you, you’re good a fit for this, please? I know it’s a lot to ask, and I know you haven’t been with an omega that isn’t me since… that time, but I could really need your help! You don’t understand how bad heats can hurt, and he is in a bad shape.” Baekhyun was actually worried that Yixing would say no now, he had first now thought about how the beta had avoided any kind of physical contact with Mark that wasn’t platonic.

Yixing kissed Baekhyun softly. “Of course I will help, we are a pack and you need me to do this. And I might not know Jimin as well as you do, but I don’t want to see him in pain either.”

“Thank you so much,” he threw his arms around Yixing's neck to hug him tightly, “this means so much to me. Jongin is getting some supplies since Jimin hasn’t really eaten anything, you dry off and do whatever you need to before. I’m going back to Jimin I’m uncomfortable with him being alone this long time.”

Yixing just nodded looking after Baekhyun who left and he sighed lightly. ‘Don’t get too attached Baek, it’s just going to break your heart again.’

When Baekhyun came back to the room he saw that Jimin had discarded his shirt, burying his head in the pillow he knew were carrying Yixing’s light scent of Chamomile. He was a little jealous of Jimin’s body if he had to be honest, Baekhyun himself was the classical slender omega build, but Jimin while short like most omegas seemed to suffer from was also strong.

Strong thighs were showing through his jeans and his back muscles were showing as he tried to bury himself more into the pillow, hips lightly grinding into the mattress to ease ome of the pressure. It was clear that the heat had really hit now, making Jimin desperate for any kind of release. Baekhyun petted Jimin’s hair lightly. “Smells good doesn’t it? It’s very calming.”

“Baek!” Jimin’s head came up with a start, and then Baekhyun was almost tackled in a hug as Jimin buried his head into his scent gland nuzzling it. “I thought you left, that you weren’t coming back!”

Yeah Jimin’s heat had definitely set in, the desperation in his voice was enough. Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from letting a very light moan out. The pleasure he got from getting his scent gland nuzzled was strong and Jimin’s scent of caramel was mixed with the sweet undertone of heat. It had been so long since he had smelled heat that wasn’t his own. “I’m sorry I just needed to fix some stuff. I promise you that I’m here now!” He nuzzled Jimin’s scent gland back trying to calm the other omega down. He knew what Jimin wanted, but it was to early they needed to slow it down and get some water and sugar in him first before the full strength of the first wave of heat hit him.

He could feel Jimin’s small hand at the bottom of his shirt trying to get it off. “Please Baek, I need skin please please please.”

Baekhyun bit his lip thinking it over for a second before pulling his shirt off joining Jimin in shirtlessness hoping that the feeling of skin against skin was enough to calm the need that had grabbed Jimin at least a bit. “We need to slow down Jimin, some water and food are going to be here soon and you need that before it really hits.” He held Jimin’s head between his hands gently leaning their foreheads together. “Look at me please, in the eyes.”

Jimin’s pupils were big almost filling his entire iris, and they were blurry and unfocused when they looked at Baekhyun, but he could still see that the heat hadn’t taken complete control yet. “Good boy,” the oldest omega praised, rubbing their noses together, “keep looking at me and focus.”

“Well isn’t that adorable,” it came from Yixing in the doorframe, holding a basket of different stuff, “but I think we should get some water in him, don’t you agree Baekie?”

Baekhyun nodded, breaking the eye contact with Jimin, but pulling him closer to him so their bodies were flushed against each other sitting on their knees facing each other. “Did Jongin get all the stuff he needed?”

“Yup, water, gatorade, chocolate protein bars, towels, heating pads and what looks to be a knotting toy if he needs it.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, he had dressed in a loose white tee and shorts. “Hey Jimin, how are you holding up?” He placed his cold hand on the lower back of Jimin’s overheated body slowly getting Jimin used to him being there, not wanting to overwhelm the omega.

Jimin blinked a few times trying to clear his brain. “I’m… okay, I’m really hot.”

“Well that I won’t disagree with,” Yixing lightly teased, opening a bottle of gatorade, “I need you to drink this, can you do that?” He held the bottle up to Jimin’s lips, having an idea that the younger might not want to let go of Baekhyun just yet. Probably finding comfort in his hold on the older omega.

Jimin tipped his head back lightly letting the gatorade run down into his mouth, drinking dutifully until the bottle was empty and getting a light kiss on his throat by Baekhyun as a praise. “That’s good, now you just need to eat this for me.”

Jimin first shook his head. “No, I’m not hungry.”

“I know you aren’t,” Baekhyun commented, holding Jimin’s hips tightly in a iron grip so he didn’t move it against Baek’s thigh as he had started doing, “but you have to. You haven’t gotten to get ready like omegas normally do. So you need to eat this or else you are going to be really sick, we don’t want you to be sick do we?”

The youngest slowly shook his head in a confused movement, he knew that the exo members had a point but it was so hard to focus and he really just wanted somebody to touch him already. But he dutifully opened his mouth and eat every little piece of chocolate Yixing fed him. Each little piece rewarding him with a peck somewhere on his neck or shoulder by Baekhyun and pet on his lower back by Yixing.

“That’s good Jimin.” Baekhyun praised. “Are you a little more clear in the head now? And feel better?”

Jimin just nodded leaning his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder taking in the omega scent of cotton candy, it was so rare that he got to do this with another omega. Baekhyun was enjoying the scent of another omega as well. Yixing was just looking over the two omegas both having their eyes closed with a little smile as he let them have their little moment. He knew that the peace would soon be over as Jimin got hit by the first wave of heat.

He might not know Jimin as well as he knew Baekhyun, but he knew omegas well. After all he had been the one that spent LuHan’s first heat with him back when they were still trainees even though he hadn’t even presented at that point himself and it technically wasn’t allowed. But he just couldn’t deal with the sounds of pain LuHan made. He had been the one that together with Kris helped Tao through his, he knew omegas very well.

“I think we should all lie down and relax for a second before Jimin’s heat really hit.” He suggested, knowing that the longer they could keep Jimin relaxed and have him deal with the pre waves the better it was for all of them. Without being able to really knot Jimin it was better for them to take it slow and ride the heat slowly.

Jimin slowly nodded, after getting something to drink and eat he did feel the heat slowly coming down a little so he could breath. “I would like that.” He couldn’t stop himself from giggling as Baekhyun tipped them both to the side so they fell down lying on the bed. Jimin laid down so his head was buried in Baekhyun’s scent gland, and Yixing spooned up behind him after pulling his own shirt off, lightly stroking his bare side as Baekhyun did the same to his jean clad thigh.

They managed to cuddle for almost 15 minutes before Baekhyun let out a loud moan as Jimin had started nibbling on his scent gland, grinding his ass up against Yixing’s crotch. The two exo members looked into each other's eyes over Jimin’s head and nodded once, clearly showing that now was the time.

Yixing gave Jimin what he wanted, working with the younger omega in grinding against him while Baekhyun zipped open his jeans, swearing mentally at the tight fabric that they should have gotten of him earlier.

Jimin moaned low as he felt slick form and started to create a wet spot on the inside of his boxers. The combined scent of Chamomile and cotton candy matched and mixed way better than Jimin ever thought it would and he felt calmed and cared for. Even if he did feel a little overheated and very turned on.

He started placing marks around Baekhyun’s scent gland, but he had still enough brain power to avoid the bite, as much as he wanted to place hickies all over it he also knew that it wasn’t his to touch. “Jesus christ Jimin you are damn vampire.” Baekhyun moaned out, his scent gland getting this much attention was turning him on as well, and he gave up on being gentle with Jimin’s stupid jeans just ripping them down.

Jimin didn’t answer him, instead started to work on the soft skin of Baekhyun’s shoulder, determined to cover the other omega in as many hickies as humanly possible! Who knew that being with another omega during heat made him this possessive? Was it like that for every omega? He couldn’t stop a whine for releasing from his mouth, the boxers still on him was itchy like clothes always were when he was in heat.

“We know Minnie, we are just trying to be slow so we don’t take it to fast. We are going to get the clothes off you in a second.” Yixing mumbled, Jimin was very good at grinding to say it mildly, it was clear that the male was indeed a dancer who knew how to move.

Baekhyun kinda had to agree with Jimin though, they were going so slow! But that might be Jimin’s heat going to his brain, while he knew he wasn’t going into a sympathy heat, he also knew that heat’s always affected him. It was the same for most omegas and alphas. That was why betas were so important during heats, they knew how to keep their head and not overwhelm the person in heat.

Baekhyun pulled down Jimin’s boxers as well, even if Yixing had said they needed to take it slow he also knew how itchy clothes felt when the heat hit! Also he kinda wanted to look at Jimin naked, which turned out to be a view that he very much liked. Jimin’s thighs were thick and strong as his jeans had shown, stomach flat and abs faintly showing, which was stupid! No omega should have abs during heat! They were suppose to eat up to heats! He kinda wanted to get a look of Jimin’s ass, because the way that his jeans had hugged it suggested that it was very much worth looking at, but sadly Yixing seemed to be covering that very well, which instead lead him to look at Jimin dick which was… “Awww baby you are so small even for an omega.” Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from teasing the younger omega.

That got him a hard glance from Yixing over Jimin’s head. So okay making fun of somebody's dick when they were in heat might not be the nicest move, but it was so cute and tiny, Jimin stopped biting at Baekhyun’s shoulder for a moment to whisper shyly. “I think it’s cute.”

Awww the BTS omega was so cute, Yixing seemed to agree as he lightly kissed the back side of Jimin’s shoulder. “It is very cute, fits you very well.” He praised and with that the awkward mood was gone, and this was why Baekhyun had gotten Yixing. He was always good at making everybody comfortable. His teasing was always light, and never as hurtful as Baekhyun’s sometimes could become without him wanting to.

Baekhyun wrapped his hand around Jimin’s tiny dick, giggling lightly as he saw his hand completely cover it, adjusting his grip so he was only touching it with two fingers to jerk it off a little, causing Jimin to groan out with a whiny moan and he instead of going to mark Baekhyun up some more went to take Baekhyun’s lips in a soft kiss full of experimental tongue.

So Yixing had to admit seeing the two omegas makeout turned him on even more than he already was, there was always something special about seeing two omegas with each other, if it was soft and cute like this, or the way Tao and Lu Han used to make out, aggressively with teeth and nails.

He lightly let his hand glide from Jimin’s hip to his ass, checking if he was starting to become wet. He knew that it could take some time for omegas to become wet with new people, it took a lot of trust by their bodies, which was why he was surprised to find that Jimin wasn’t just wet he was fucking drenched.

“Somebody is excited.” Yixing teased as he ran his finger lightly over Jimin’s rim before abandoning it to grab Baekhyun’s hand instead,  leading the omega’s smaller hand to Jimin’s entrance showing just what he meant.

Baekhyun broke the soft kiss, nibbling lightly at Jimin’s bottom lip pressing the tip of his pointy finger inside. “He is right, you are so wet baby it’s insane. I can feel your hole trying to suck in my finger, you are so desperate for more aren’t you baby? Your ass just want to be filled badly doesn't it?”

“Be nice Baekie, or I might tell him about just how much of a desperate slut you can be during heat.” He let his own finger in next to Baekhyun’s forcing the omega’s finger farther in. Now he could see why Baekhyun wanted him here, Baekhyun was pushing Jimin too far without knowing what he was into. He sent him a hard glare that clearly meant ‘be nice’.

Baekhyun pouted a little before licking his way back into Jimin mouth, refusing to give Yixing an answer while he knew Yixing was right. He didn’t have to tell the chinese man that. He let the beta control their fingers, focusing on softly exploring Jimin’s mouth, running his tongue along the roof of his mouth before engaging Jimin’s tongue in a dance they only the two of them knew the rhythm for.

Yixing was just happy that he had decided to avoid underwear just wearing the loose shorts. They were loose enough that he could just enjoy the view of the two omegas making out while working Jimin open, sometimes giving Jimin small kisses on the back of his neck all their scents had mixed the room now and Yixing had to admit that the cotton candy and caramel of the two omegas made a mouth watering scent together.

He lightly pulled out Baekhyun’s finger as the omega turned out to be more in the way than anything else seeming much more focused on trying to suck out Jimin’s tongue from his mouth. He couldn’t stop himself from grimacing when the slick covered fingers found its way to Jimin’s hair pulling the omega’s head closer. God they would all need a shower after this because that was disgusting.

He now focused his full attention on opening up Jimin, finally looking away from the breathtaking picture of the two omegas making out instead looking at the undoubtedly equally breathtaking view of Jimin’s ass taking 3 of Yixing finger’s like it was nothing. More slick was running down his cleft and wetting both the bedding and the omega’s thigh’s. Oh they had forgotten the heat bedding, well Junmyeon was going to kill them, great.

Yixing knew that he didn’t need to stretch Jimin this well, omegas in heat were designed to be able to take an alpha knot without prep, but Yixing could never get himself to not prep and omega. Not only did he love watching people chase the feeling of his fingers inside him (even though Jongdae was his favorite, the alpha was beautiful begging for more,) but he was also way to afraid of accidentally hurting anybody.

Jimin didn’t seem to have the same patience as Yixing though, as his hips had started fucking himself on the beta’s fingers without Yixing doing anything. It was an amazing view, until Jimin freed himself from Baekhyun’s mouth who had very effectively been swallowing Jimin’s moans directly from his mouth. “Yixing please, I’m ready!”

“I know you are baby, but your ass looks so good filled with my fingers that I couldn’t stop myself from watching it.” Jimin whined high in his throat as Baekhyun nipped at his adam apple.

Yixing just smiled kissing the back of Jimin’s shoulders again, slowly spreading his fingers inside the omega coursing a very loud whine to be let out. “How do you want it Minnie? I can use the toy on you if you prefer, or Baekhyun could fuck you or whatever you want.”

He himself didn’t know Jimin enough to assume that Jimin would want to be fucked by him. Not sure that the trust was there, but he got proven wrong as Jimin moaned out. “You! I want you please, not some stupid toy.”

“Are you sure Jimin?” Yixing was serious for a second, he didn’t want Jimin to feel like he had to just because he was here. “I’m not an alpha, I can’t knot you if that’s what you are looking for.”

He pulled out his hand from inside of Jimin and was a little bit of a struggle as Jimin’s hips tried to chase the feeling not ready to give up on Yixing’s fingers just yet. “Yes I’m sure! This is not the heat speaking, I just want you inside me, I don’t need a knot! I need you to fucking fuck me already!”

“Such a potty mouth,” Baekhyun teased, “you better do what said Yixie, or the baby might start crying.”

Yixing thought of refusing for a second, but a strong look from Baekhyun told him it wasn’t an option. This was Jimin’s body, it was his choice. “Can you get on your hands and knees for me baby, it’s better the first time of the heat.”

Jimin hesitated for a second, not really ready to let go of the comfort the other omega gave him, but Baekhyun just nodded once before kissing the tip of his nose. “I’m not going anywhere little bean, but you know Yixing is right. The heat is long, we can do whatever you want after, but for now we need to get rid of the first wave so we can clear that little head of yours.”

The BTS omega nodded and let go of Baekhyun, he trusted Baekhyun. Even with his head clouded he trusted him, said omega helped Jimin up on his elbows and knees presenting his ass to Yixing who very much appreciated the view. Jimin couldn’t stop himself from wriggling his butt a to try and get the beta to hurry up a little. Instead Yixing just ran a light hand up Jimin’s ass.  “You are on the pill right? The 100% one right?”

Jimin nodded and whined, he wanted Yixing to hurry up, Baekhyun laid down on his side next to Jimin holding his hand. “You need to use your words so we know the truth baby.”

“Yes! I promise I am on the pill, Yixing please it hurts!” Jimin was speaking the truth about that, it had started hurting the heat over him in full control and he struggled with focusing on what was going on other than the fact that he was so empty!

That was all Yixing needed, having discarded his shorts while Jimin got on his knees. He spread Jimin’s cheeks taking one last look at his entrance, not being able to resist running a teasing thumb over it, seeing it greedily opened under it, causing Jimin to whine again and Baekhyun shushing him gently.

Yixing guided the head of his cock to Jimin’s entrance resting it there for a second, giving Jimin one last chance to decide that he wanted to backout. But when he got nothing he slowly pushed in, holding a tight grip on Jimin’s hips to prevent him from forcing Yixing inside him faster than the beta wanted it.

It was slow as Yixing finally managed to bottom out, resting his head between Jimin’s shoulder blades panting a little himself, trying to catch his own breath as Jimin squeezed him tight.

“God why are omegas always so tight, I don’t understand it. You guys take cock like a champ, but you are always so fucking tight!” He panted, as he felt Baekhyun’s hand in his hair, the omega clearly trying to help him, which was appreciated, but really didn’t help, the feeling of one of his mates touching him really didn’t help!

“Yixing, please… move.” Jimin sounded like he was actually sobbing now, and for a second Yixing was worried that he was hurting him. Looking nervously at Baekhyun who just smiled calmly, clearly showing that everything was fine. That Jimin was just a little overwhelmed with the new sensation.

Yixing slowly started to thrust in and out of Jimin in a steady pace. While he wanted to be soft with the young omega he also knew that he needed to satisfy the heat burning in said omega’s stomach. He also knew that the first wave was going to be fast and he wouldn’t have to work that hard to wring Jimin’s orgasm from him. Which was good because Yixing himself felt like he was closer to the edge than he liked to admit.

For a few minutes all the sounds in the room was Jimin’s low moaning and unintelligent words and Yixing very low moans. Baekhyun had focused on Jimin’s facial expression and making sure that he was always okay, until he suddenly spoke up. “You are close aren’t you baby?”

Yixing and Jimin spoke a soft yes at the same time, causing a laugh to go through all of them. Not really sure who Baekhyun had actually spoken to. “Yixing go a little faster with your hips, Jimin start moving against him meet his thrust.” Baekhyun lightly commanded as he ran his hand through Jimin’s hair centering the younger omega.

Both males did as directed, they were both so close that all they needed were a soft. “Cum for me,” said by the oldest omegas for them both to fall over the edge. Yixing emptying himself inside of Jimin and Jimin to release untouched onto the bedspread under him.

Yixing physically manipulated Jimin back into the position they started in. While he couldn’t  knot him he knew that omegas prefer that their partner stayed inside them after release.

It took the both Yixing and Jimin a moment to get their breath back, in that time Baekhyun had gathered a towel to lightly dry both of them of the worst of the spare slick and sweat. Then Jimin spoke up with a yawn. “I have never laughed during sex before.”

Baekhyun kissed him lightly between his brows.  “Sleep baby, your second wave of heat hits soon and you need some sleep first.”

While BTS’s omega fell asleep between them, their pack alpha was sitting in Bang PD’s office looking down on the papers in his hand that needed his signature. “I never meant to hurt anybody,” he said his voice empty and void of emotion, “I just wanted everybody to be safe.

The oldest beta was sitting with his mouth open Jaejoong guiding the food they had cooked together  into his mouth with the chopstick and a light laugh at how eager the younger man was to taste the food. It was nice to finally have somebody who loved cooking as much as him they both thought.

Their baby alpha was lying in his bed at the Vixx dorm he could hear Hakyeon laugh lightly through the wall, but the room was completely empty and void of any scent other than his own and he had no idea how to sleep like this. Somehow he knew that he wouldn’t get a minute of sleep here. ‘I’m so sorry Joonie’

Taehyung was sitting in the bath with Seungkwan throwing bubbles as the omega, while Jeonghan looked at them like they were insane from the counter he was sitting on, but also with a light smile. To see Taehyung’s box smile finally showing and laughter filling the room.

Hoseok sat in front of Doctor Choi in the hospital. “You really think this man can help me?” She nodded slowly. “This man is my son, and I wouldn’t recommend him unless I believed he could help you. I promise you this.”

On the other side of the hospital Namjoon was sleeping, for the first time in a long time he slept easily with a smile on his lips. The scent of blueberries filling his noose as he hugged the doll Daesung gave him close. Everything was going to be okay was he last thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everybody who got this far! GRATZ! You made it through the first arc of the story! Two arcs to go!
> 
> Now I have a question for you, I can write this story two ways. The way I have been writing it now, of course with a little more focus on Namjoon since the setup is done, or I can make the side stories of BTS only be mentioned but never written like they have been for now.
> 
> The story will swap back to be more Namjoon focused no matter which way I do it, but I know that some of you aren't a big fan of seeing the other sides of the story, mostly just being here for Namjoon!


	25. No I don’t wanna go too fast, Cuz nothing really lasts, I think I need some time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let's have a little chat here!
> 
> I got tons of responses from you guys with were amazing so I will clear a few things up:
> 
> The side stories will stay!!! But there will be alot more focus on Namjoon which means over 60% of the story will be Namjoon focused, the reason it weren't before were that it really isn't entertaining reading about a person in a hospital bed, cause that makes Namjoon into a character who get acted upon of acting himself!
> 
> Also I will be answering a few of the most asked questions in the end in notes for the people who don't read comment's! Also...
> 
> THIS STORY IS LONGER THEN HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS! Which means that I will release the Vixx side story this week... Hopefully.
> 
> Also time for excuses, so I am not as fast to update and I know it, while I still plan to update atleast two times a week I know it isn't as much as when I started this story and here is the reason.
> 
> I'm currently doing a bachelors degree on software engineering, I do MMA and I dance, most importantly we have a dance showcase coming up that I really need to train to. Which means I spend 5-8 hours at uni everyday, 2 hours at the gym and 4 or more at dance training. So please understand that I'm not being slow cause I don't want to write, but I simply don't have as much time as I used to!

Namjoon smiled as he reached to press Doctor Choi’s hand. “I can’t thank you enough for what you have done to help me.”

“You don’t need to thank me for doing my job Namjoon.” The mention of his name made him smile, it had taken forever for him to convince her to actually use it instead of Mr. Kim.

His smile was soft and while it still had an undertone of sadness and he was still too thin for comfort. He still looked a lot more healthy than when he arrived. “You know you didn’t have to do as much for me as you did, thank you for what you have done not only for me, but also for Hoseok you are sure this shrink is good for him?”

“He is my son, and if I may say one of the best in the business, plus he helps run group therapy for people like Hoseok whose identity should be kept underwraps away from the public.” She smiled a soft motherly smile at Namjoon “Remember what I said, there will be days where it’s bad. You have an eating disorder, there will be days where you don’t want to eat, there will be days when you feel terrible, those days it’s important you aren’t alone. And from what I have seen you are very loved, so it shouldn’t be an issue.”

Namjoon sighed a little rubbing the point where the IV had been in his arm earlier. While there wasn’t any pain anymore other than phantom pain it was still a reminder. “I know, I want to get better, for everybody just not myself.”

“That’s good.” She felt a little hesitant, she wasn’t ready to let him go yet. She was worried what being back in the real world would do to him. He hadn’t been allowed on social media while there, and she knew that while BTS had many fans they also had an almost army of anti’s who would give him shit. “You have my number, if anything feels wrong both mentally or physically please call me. Your health is important and we don’t know how your body will react to presenting 4 years late. And remember what I told you about your heat?”

“That you don’t know when I would go into it, I need to gain more weight for it to be able to support it with my body, but when I do it could be very bad since I am so much late on it.” Namjoon recited bouncing a little on ball of his foot, eager to get out of there.

“I know you are acting like it’s nothing, but this is important. Also your omega traits are running insane in your body, you can’t ignore them anymore! You need to be near people, this is important, if you ignore them once more your depression could get much much worse.” She lectured, but she was sure that Namjoon more or less was ignoring her having been told this so many times before.

“I know, can I leave now? I promise I will come to the appointments you have set up for me, and that I will look out for myself. I promise! But a driver is waiting for me, and I feel like I need to shower 30 times to wash of the smell and feel of hospital. I can feel it crawling under my skin.”

Doctor Choi could have told him that he was probably more clean than he had ever been in his life, but she was pretty sure that Namjoon already knew this. And she also knew the feeling of hospital was a very real thing, so she just waved him goodbye smiling after him as she hoped that she wouldn’t be seeming him again for a very long time. So okay maybe she had set herself as his doctor and she hoped that the next time she would see him would be in a good amount of years with a stomach rounded with his own kids… he deserved happiness for the hand the world had dealt him.

As Namjoon sat in the car, going through his pack of his stuff to find his phone he was a little hesitant. Bang PD-nim had showed him pictures of his new home and explained that it was important and he understood, but it also felt weird. As he stared at his phone he also knew that he would have to make a decision. It was time for him to live his life, and that meant that he needed to start spending time with the different packs that were courting him.

Namjoon wasn’t sure how he would organize it, he had his own schedule and he assumed that most idols ran on the same ‘We don’t sleep enough’ schedule, so he could probably make it work. Plus his schedule was light since he was still recovering, so he could make this work! That brought another issue as he looked at his phone. He had promised to call Daesung which he now didn’t feel very comfortable about.

He couldn’t just call the older omega could he? Daesung probably just meant to to be nice, not because he actually cared or meant it, Daesung didn’t actually know him that well! And while yes he had slept with the dolls that the Big Bang members had given him, they were just trying to be nice.

When he finally got to his new place, he couldn’t help but smile a little. All his stuff was there, and yeah it was small, but it was warm and actually felt homely instead of empty. He could smell the traces of Jackson’s herbal scent and Seokjin’s rose traces around the place. The two idols had clearly worked together to make sure that the room felt as homely to him as possible.

He could even spot a hoodie in the corner that smelled strongly of Jiho and Kyung’s combined scents of Fig’s and vanilla bourbon and when he lifted it up he could recognize it as one of the old ones from their time in the underground. Actually now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure that over 5 years ago this was actually his hoodie, of course Jiho still had it, sentimental hoodie thief! It didn’t stop him from smiling and burying his head in the soft material. It reminded him of the old days before his own presentation, even if Jiho had presented as an beta there and he hadn’t known the rest of Block B yet. Jiho was right, he was really the person who knew Namjoon the best, the one with the most history, and especially the one with the most history that wasn’t tainted.

As he went to the kitchen he saw his fridge was full of what looked to be home cooked meals with a little sticky note from Seokjin. ‘Remember to eat Joonie-ah <3 Gotta stay healthy, we miss you - Seokjin’

God Jin was such a fucking softy, he had only gotten to see Seokjin very shortly when he went to visit him alone. Actually he hadn’t seen any of BTS together since forever. He had tried to ask Seojin, but he had just avoided it. Instead lecturing him in eating right and that food was his friend. As he went to explore more following his nose he found something he didn’t expect.

It was a little puzzle box, it was meant so that you could only open it if you solved the puzzle. The little box didn’t have a strong scent but the weak smell of white cherries on it made it very clear that it were from Yongguk meant to help him if he got bored. Speaking of B.A.P members there was a strong scent of Sakura flowers leading to his bathroom. As he followed it he couldn’t stop himself from laughing, there was a set of Sakura flower shampoo conditioner and bodywash. But the scent around them wasn’t artificial which made him think that Zelo had spent more time than just placing the things in here. More sticky notes was placed on the mirror in a form of a smiley, each containing one word ending up with. ‘Don’t miss me too much <3 actually please do!’

Namjoon had smelled the scent of herbal tea when he got in, but he hadn’t found it where it was from so he decided to track it down until he found the little doggy basket… Omg Rap Mon!? A little sticky note was on it ‘I have kidnapped your dog, he is mine now - Jackson’ it made Namjoon sigh a little more comfortable. Actually wasn’t Rap Mon with his parents? Of course Jackson knew that having Rap Mon around him would make him feel better, that or the alpha had actually kidnapped his dog, that wasn’t out of the question. As he turned the note around he saw almost unreadable scribbles from BamBam ‘Jackson might be kidding, but he is so cute! How did you hide him from me?! This is betrayal!’

He couldn’t stop himself from giggling, that also meant he knew where he had to go first. Actually that might have been the JYP idols plan all along, they were evil geniuses, or they really loved dogs… or both. There were two last scents in his little place that he needed to track down the first was the scent of lemons which lead him until a little note on top of what looked to be a new lyrics book’s. He knew from the scent it were from Wonho the last of Monsta X’s omegas.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you at the hospital, but we didn’t want to overwhelm you and I’m not amazing with my spoken words, so I decided to write this to you instead.

I know that being an omega is confusing as first, I was confused as well as you probably know. I just saw what the world seemed to tell me an omega are, and it didn’t fit me. I know I’m not a rapper like you and that is a whole other form of pressure on you, but I understood not feeling you fit in. I didn’t. I was worried I would have to give up my body that I worked so hard to get. I were worried that I would have to give everything up.  
You don’t have to give up, I learned that being an omega doesn’t change who you are, I turned out to be a hard omega, who acts more like an alpha than an omega, but I also learned to love being an omega. This is what I wanted to tell you, there is nothing wrong with being an omega, even if you don’t act like one it is important that we learn to love our subgenders. That’s all I wanted to tell you. Oh and the lyrics book! I thought maybe a new start would be nice for you, start a clean project. While you don’t have to forget the past, see this as an opportunity to be the best version of you, you can be. So yeah, that’s what I wanted you to know, and even if you don’t end up joining us, even if you decided after only spending 10 minutes with us that we aren’t for you. I hope you know that you can talk to me, out of everybody I probably understand what you are going through the most… shit I’m rambling in fucking writing… Sorry… eat well!

Wonho’

Namjoon sat still for a second just looking over the paper, reading it and then rereading it so much. This… he needed this, he had never thought about the fact that Wonho probably understood the best of anybody what he were going through. So yeah the male wasn’t a rapper like Namjoon, but still. That made Namjoon realize how important it was for you to find somebody that you felt you could understand.

He needed to be that for their fans, knew that most of their fans wouldn’t understand. But if there was at least one of their fans that needed help understanding that you were okay whatever sub gender you were he needed to help. He grabbed for his phone. Taking a deep breath before opening twitter, he had talked with Bang PD-nim that he kept underwraps why Namjoon was really in the hospital. While they couldn’t keep it under wraps that Namjoon was an omega they kept the eating disorder out of it.

While Namjoon wasn’t ready to read what their fans were saying he wanted to do something. He checked how he looked a in mirror, not half bad and snapped a quick selfie, slapped a filter on it and uploaded it to twitter with the caption. “Real first day as an omega, missed all of you!” Then he closed the app before he could see the response.

It was a start, he didn’t manage to set down his phone before it rang when he saw the number he were surprised. ‘Daesung-sunbaenim’ was calling him, he almost dropped his phone in his hurry to pick it up.

“Daesung-sunbaenim?!”

“Hey Namjoon-ah, I thought you promised me to call when you got home.” Namjoon blushed heavily, feeling shy.

“I thought you didn’t actually mean it, actually how did you know that I got home?”

Daesung’s laughter was nice and short. “RiRi is stalking your guys social media, and of course I meant it. I wouldn’t lie to you. I actually want you to see me as a friend.”

A weird rustling came from Daesung’s side as the older omega made a weird sound and then a complete other voice were speaking into the phone. “Did you see what I left at your place?!”

“Seungri-sunbaenim?!”

“Oh god, you are still making him call you sunbaenim? You are so weird Dae, yup it’s me! Now did you see what I left at your place? Also call me hyung!” Seungri sounded way too eager, and again a rustle came from the Big Bang members side as another fighting over phone started which Daesung seemed to win as Namjoon could hear Seungri very quietly protest. ‘Don’t hit on me! This is unfair’ ‘shut it brat’ ‘your face is a brat’

“I’m sorry Namjoon-ah, Seungri is a little… brat.” “HEY I’M NOT!”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling at the silly fighting between the two older idols. “It’s okay, I’m just a little surprised, I thought you were just trying to be nice, not that you actually meant it.”

“You aren’t used to people wanting to do stuff for you are you?” Daesung said softly and Namjoon could almost feel the olders smile through the phone.

“No, this is very new for me.” Namjoon felt a little awkward as he sat on the couch pulling his long legs up to his chest wrapping his free arms around his knees.

“I want to be your friend Namjoon, we all do, but me especially. I understand what you are going through, and I’m not connected to this like so many of your friends are. I can be more objective about it, and since I don’t know your group mates I can be more helpful towards you and only you. Now for the point I called, how are you feeling?”

Namjoon thought about if for a second “Better… “ he decided that if Daesung really wanted to help him he shouldn’t lie. “I still have strong moments where I hate myself or hate being an omega, but I feel better. I’m a little overwhelmed, I didn’t think anybody would want to court me, but five different pack’s want to and I just don’t know where to start. I still feel like I owe BTS my own group to stay with them, and they are blaming Yoongi for things that wasn’t his fault which I don’t know what to do about.”

On the other side of the line Seungri and Daesung exchanged a glance, since Daesung and Seunghyun had returned from the hospital and told the rest about what had happened they had started digging around in the BTS members past and present. Turned out, it is a lot easier to get information when you are very famous idol, what they had found out… About all of the members made them a little worried, especially since the west alpha pack that Yoongi was from were very well known for manipulation, and the fact that Namjoon blamed himself… made them worry. Seungri signalled to get the phone from him he had an idea how to avoid Namjoon going straight back to BTS without giving everybody else a chance, the omega hesitantly gave Seungri the phone.

“Namjoon-ah I have the perfect idea! While I was there I saw the little things, and there is clearly only one thing to do! Whoever has your dog is clearly the group you should go to first, while you are there bring the hoody and the puzzle box when you manage to open the puzzle box see what’s inside it and then go and see that group! When everything feels to much and you need comfort go to the hoody group. Then the group with the lyrics sheet, I decided not read the letter even I felt that might be a little too much.” Seungri of course knew who all of the groups were, and he didn’t want to lie to Namjoon and he technically wasn’t, but he really wanted to give the other groups a chance and this were the only way of doing it. “And if you feel pressured and need a break from everybody courting you, come and see us! Ji wants to meet you, something about omega rapper and liking your technic, which is sadly not as dirty as I thought it was.”

“G Dragon-sunbaenim wants to meet me!?” That was most of what Namjoon got from Seungri’s long rant. “Are you sure?” His idol wanted to meet him.

“Yeah well technically we all want to meet you, you seem a lot more interesting than most people and you seem to need a hand. Plus Daesung has taken a liking to you, but did you get what I said?” Seungri prodded again.

Namjoon slowly nodded before realizing that Seungri couldn’t see him, what the alpha said made sense. “Yeah… Thank you, it makes it a lot easier, it’s a lot of decisions and I’m scared of making the wrong one.”

Daesung had gotten the phone back now. “Luckily you have of time, and we are all here to help you! Now get going, you aren’t supposed to be alone for a long time!”

“Thank you… Both of you, this means so much to me.”

Daesung smiled as the younger hang up then patting Seungri on the head from where he was still under Daesung. “Good job RiRi also you were suppose to deliver it not snoop around in his house!”

“Sorry.” Seungri weren’t sorry, “I know this means a lot to you, I know you feel this is making up for previous mistakes that you think you made, and we will all help you do the right thing, also he is cute.”

“He is isn’t he?” Daesung just laughed, kissing Seungri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So lets answer a few questions, people had questions about leaving your pack, can you do it how can you do it and stuff like that, here is the way's to leave:
> 
> 1) Pack member and pack alpha agrees on removing the mark this is not painful in anyway, and is very much like removing a wedding ring, no mental damage done to anybody.  
> 2) Pack member starting to reject the mark, this is mentally and can happen without them even noticing, and it was mentally harmful to the pack, but not physically. The Pack member wont feel anything.7  
> 3) The pack member can on purpose reject the mark, this is deciding they don't want to be part of the pack, but the pack wants them to stay. This is very harmful to the pack, even more than rejecting it without knowing it. This happens instantly  
> 4) Pack alpha forcefully removing a mark, this is painful to the member, back in old time this was a punishment before people were banished, this is very harmful to the pack member mental state (this happened to LuHan) you can get the mark again tho.  
> 5) Another pack alpha bites the member over the bite, you never see this really and it was seen as worse than rape. Extremely painfully mentally and physically for the member.  
> 6) The pack breaking up, this is a very extreme measure where the pack alpha, oldest omega and oldest beta decided to abolish the pack. This can be painful physically and mentally, this is very much different from case to case... This is super rare
> 
> Other questions:
> 
> Will there be a happy end?  
> Yes... Everybody will be happy in the end! I promise!
> 
> Will there be more drama?  
> Yes sadly we aren't done, I'm not done hurting your feelings yet! Everything is good until it isn't.
> 
> Is the omega with Exo Namjoon?  
> Wouldn't you like to know :P
> 
> Did Exo let LuHan go without a fight?  
> NO! They tried very very hard to keep him! Exo really really tried their best!
> 
> Will (Insert group appear)?  
> Maybe, if they aren't here by now they probably wont, there is only a few groups left to introduce those are Beast, part of Suju and 2ne1+Jessica. SM idols will mainly be in the spinoff with Exo as a focus!


	26. I can bear it in some way, I can stand it in some way, You should be happy if you are like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so behind in all my writing it's insane... I'M SORRY!

Namjoon had decided to actually take Seungri’s advice and do what he had been told. Not before he had searched every place he could think of for what Seungri had said he had left, Namjoon hadn’t found anything though, nor had he found any of Seungri’s candy apple scent. He was sure for a few seconds that he could smell the light scent of Daesung’s blueberries, but just as quickly as he smelled it it was gone again.

It had only taken one text asking if he could come over to Got7 to set up a short stay over there. He packed enough clothes, the puzzle box, letter and what ever else he needed. If he was going to do this, he was going to do this right, he needed to give everybody a chance.

And to be honest he actually looked forward to seeing the members of Got7. Even if he could feel the lingering tentacles of doubt trying to pull him under. He knew what Yoongi said was a misunderstanding, that they didn’t mean it, but those words had affected him so much, it had shaped his view on reality for months. He knew that he could trust them, he knew that they wanted what was best for him, his subconscious just needed to catch up with what his mind really knew.

He was shy as he hesitated outside of the Got7 dorm. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other his hand hanging awkwardly midair hesitant to really knock. He almost wanted to run away, but he knew he couldn’t, luckily he didn’t have to actually knock as something jumped onto his back, with a light scream. “JOONIE!”

Two things happened at the same time then. Namjoon’s lanky limbs that had no self control lost the balance on the step he was on and his still malnourished body gave up in carrying both his own weight and now BamBam on his back. He collapsed at the same time as he fell forward knocking his head into the door before landing on the ground with BamBam still attached to him.

“BAMBAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Jinyoung’s voice was loud and worried as he ran up to the two males on the ground having dropped the shopping bags on the way. “Fuck BamBam please get off him, Namjoon are you okay? What were you thinking BamBam! You are an adult not a tiny cat, you can’t expect people to carry your weight.”

Namjoon tried for nothing is wrong, but his head was spinning to put it mildly and he couldn’t really breathe until BamBam got of him, apologizing worried and fast in a language Namjoon couldn’t understand.

The door the newly presented omega was resting his head against opened removing the support his head was using. “What is going on out here? Why is Namjoon on the ground?” Jackson’s voice was even more panicked than the other two members, as he reached down to help Namjoon up. That was when something happened Namjoon couldn’t control.

As Jackson’s bare skin touched Namjoon’s he flinched as warning signal popped up in his brain just screaming ‘alpha’ at him. Both Jackson and Namjoon stared at each other Jackson’s arm hanging awkwardly in the air. Jinyoung looked between them before understand what happened, quickly stepping in to help Namjoon up.

Namjoon himself didn’t even know why he reacted like that, it was like a panic button in his mind. He stared at Jackson. He had never felt unsafe around Jackson before, but now it was like his body was against him.

The rapper didn’t get long to think it over before BamBam was in front of Namjoon grabbing his face between his hands. “I’m so sorry! I just got eager, please tell me if you are okay! Did I hurt you?”

Namjoon tried to shake his head, but BamBam had a tight grip as his other hand was checking  Namjoon features check for injuries. “I’m fine I promise… I’m just a lot weaker than I’m used to. Doctor Choi says eating healthy and starting to move around again should make me return to normal.”

Even as his world was lightly spinning and his knee did hurt a lot, he smiled at BamBam and it wasn’t a faked smile. The warmth from the palm of the younger omega’s on his cold skin felt nice and he leaned into one of them with a smile. “See I’m fine, you just surprised me.”

“While I’m not against hug parties and definitely think we should make that a thing, but it is january and really cold outside so maybe you guys should come in. And if you don’t want to, then please close the door because I’m freezing my ass off here.” Mark’s voice were sarcastic from where he was standing behind Jackson looking over the blonde's shoulder.

Jackson was still standing stiff and awkward, not sure what to do about himself. He just nodded and moved away letting the 3 men standing outside in. BamBam had grabbed Namjoon’s bag from where he had accidentally dropped it and happily skipped away heading for the nest to drop it off, clearly not giving the Namjoon an option to get out of it, not that he wanted to.

Mark had decided to help Jinyoung with the groceries mostly because he was actually really hungry and somebody… BamBam… had eaten all the cookies leaving him in snack hunger pains. This left Jackson and Namjoon in the entrance, staring awkwardly at each other, Jackson not knowing what to do. He had little self control when it came to touching people, and the idea that Namjoon didn’t want him to made him concerned.

For Namjoon the worst part was that he didn’t want Jackson to not touch him, he didn’t know why his body had reacted like that. It was like his subconscious had more or less told him not to touch alphas. This was the first time an alpha touched him since Yoongi hit him, only two other alphas had been close to him. Minhyuk - who was a soft alpha so that didn’t really count. And Hoseok, who had been crying and it was Namjoon that had initiated the contact. Actually maybe that was the answer.

It was the first time ever he was the one initiating contact. Jackson had always been the one coming to him, maybe it was time for Namjoon himself to do something. So he stepped closer to the shorter alpha and wrapping him up in a hug. “I missed you.”

The confused expression on Jackson’s face was amazing until he relaxed and then return the hug tightly. “You made me so fucking scared, don’t ever do that again.”

Namjoon could still feel the warning bells in his head, but they weren’t loud enough that he couldn’t ignore them. Instead he rested his head against Jackson taking in the calming scent of the herbal tea. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to.”

“I know.” Jackson mumbled, his hug on Namjoon was bordering on a little bit too rough, but Namjoon knew that it was just because Jackson had been so worried about him. The Got7 member buried his head in Namjoon’s shoulder. While he couldn’t smell Namjoon’s scent and be calmed by that like the rest of people, it was enough to know that Namjoon were safe here in his arms. Even if he was still way to skinny. He couldn’t explain how relieved he was, it was like a breath he had been holding since that phone call was finally released and he could relax. “Now let’s get some food in you.” As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t keep Namjoon for himself all this time. Namjoon time was to be cherish and shared.

That didn’t stop him from grabbing Namjoon softly by the chin, and angling him down for a kiss, since they were now courting he could actually do that! The kiss was kept very soft with closed mouths, but it left both idols smiling before Jackson ruffled his hair. “Let’s go. Everybody wants to say hello to you.”

Namjoon grabbed his wrist before he could leave, he felt he needed to explain himself as he softly caressed Jackson’s wrist with his thumb. “I’m sorry for the flinching and pulling away. It’s not you, it’s… my mind, this is the first alpha contact I have had since…” He almost said since Yoongi hit him, but he knew that Jackson would make it worse than it was and Namjoon was sure that Yoongi actually regretted what he had done. Plus it had been Namjoon’s own fault a little bit. “It’s the first time in a long time. I promise it’s not because I don’t want to be near you or any other alpha I really do. Your scent is actually really calming for me.”

Even though Jackson’s smile did have a little bit of an edge it was mostly just soft and understanding. “It’s okay, you went through a lot of shit both at the hospital and before. I will try and control myself.”

“You don’t need to, it’s not that I don’t want it. It’s that my body hasn’t caught up with my brain,” Namjoon sighed, of course when he thinks one thing is fixed, his stupid mind makes up more issues, “I promise I’m fine.

Jackson just nodded as he gave Namjoon’s hand a light kiss. “I trust you.” Before leading him into the room with the rest of them.

The next two hours were filled with laughter and smiles. Jackson was right when he said that the rest of Got7 really wanted to make sure that Namjoon was actually okay. While both Jaebum and Yugyeom sensed Namjoon being a little uncomfortable around them, they had both gotten pulled aside by Jackson and then explain what was really going on. They both understood.

Yugyeom seemed to be the alpha that Namjoon relaxed the easiest around, which was probably since he was the alpha who showed the least ‘alpha’-ness’. BamBam had more or less been glued to Namjoon’s side since the male had entered the living room. At least it was until Mark pulled Namjoon away, under the guise of wanting to show him something.

Mark had pulled him to the nest, where both omegas sat down and talked lightly. “I know it can be a little suffocating at the start, you looked like you needed to breathe a little.”

Of course Mark understood, Namjoon should have expected that. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy it. I like that you guys are touching me more. It is like… It calms to voices.” Namjoon pointed at his head in an effort to explain what he meant.

Mark lightly drew figures in Namjoon’s palm he had in his lap. “It’s your inner omega, it needs other people around you. Especially since you have been so deprived of it. And I understand, I like the touching as well, I really do. But I also know that it can become a little too much with so many people.” The older omega leaned over to finger kick him on the forehead. “And you don’t know how to say stop or no. You will learn of course, but for now I will help.”

Namjoon sighed, but it wasn’t sad or angry more a little happy. “Thank you, I don’t really know how to be an omega yet.”

“There is no right way of being an omega, look at me and BamBam we are very different kind of omegas. Look at Wonshik or Kibum, very different kinds as well, or… Lu Han… “ Mark hesitated a little as he absentmindedly rubbed the bite on his neck without thinking about it.

“You told me about Lu Han,” Namjoon confessed, “you were drunk. I know it’s a secret… But if you need to talk about it I am here for that.”

Mark seemed to hesitate for a second and he had a guilty look on his face. “I know that I made the right choice, I know that being with us…. That being here was the right choice for me. I don’t regret it, but I can’t help myself but feel I lead them on.”

“They knew that courting doesn’t mean that you would pick them.” Namjoon turned their hands around so he were now the one petting Mark’s hand. “Is this about what you found out about Lu Han?”

Mark nodded sadly “How much more shit like this is SM keeping from us? From the public? I saw Jongin they are actively trying to keep him away from SHINee, and they have been pack since before he was 18!” Mark just looked sad and Namjoon didn’t know what to do other than wrap him up in a hug.

“I know it’s terrible but this isn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t feel bad just because you didn’t pick them. The best we can all do is try and support them as friends.” He gave Mark a slight squish, he probably hadn't told the rest of Got7, not wanting to give Lu Han and Exo’s secret away, he also knew there was more that Mark wasn’t telling him. But what happened between him and Exo was not something Namjoon would snoop in.

They sat there for a decent amount of time before Mark sniffed once clearly having kept in the tears. “Ready to go and join the others?”

Namjoon just nodded extending his hand out to Mark wanting to hold hands causing Mark  to laugh lightly. “Aren’t you cute?” He kissed Namjoon’s cheek and took his hand leading Namjoon out of the well smelling nest into the living room.

The scene they entered to was a mess. Youngjae was sitting on Jaebum’s legs holding them down while Yugyeom was holding down his arms. BamBam was straddling his hips and tickling the Got7 pack alpha. The alpha’s laugh was loud and sounded almost painful, as Jackson just laughed in a corner while Jinyoung looked slightly confused at what is going on.

“You are having tickling battles without me!? Traitors.” Mark let go of Namjoon’s hand but instead of approaching Jaebum to either help or make it worse he decided to jump over the couch and attack a very surprised looking Jinyoung who really should have seen it coming.

Jackson decided to actually help Jinyoung, mostly because getting on Jinyoung’s bad side meant that he would be put on the couch again. The alpha and beta managed to overwhelm Mark together pinning the omega to the ground tickling him.

Namjoon stood in the door watching with a smile on his face. He didn’t feel excluded, he was just happy seeing the other males obvious happiness. Even though he wasn’t physically part of the moment, he still felt like he was part of it. He didn’t feel like they had let go of him, he just smiled as warm pit of happiness form in his stomach. The only person who didn’t seem to enjoy this was Rap Mon who managed to half walk onto Jaebum sitting himself on his face, clearly not happy that he wasn’t part of this weird game these humans were playing.

It was like the whole room froze, Jaebum still being held down now with a dog on his face, before BamBam started laughing so much that he actually fell down from his spot straddling his leader. And that was the way that RapMon managed to get all the attention he needed.

The rest of the evening with Got7 was spent like that. The members were still tired after the practice they had today, but they were in general high spirits. The only awkward moment they had was at dinner. Namjoon wasn’t hungry, but then again he wasn’t ever hungry. He tried to excuse himself, but the hard stares he got from all of the members meant that he knew he wouldn’t get away with it.

Namjoon felt like he was physically forcing food in, but the smiles he got in return were worth it. They all decided for an early night in, Namjoon didn’t want to admit how much he was actually looking forward to the big mess that was sleeping with Got7. While the dolls he had gotten from Big Bang had been a very big help, it couldn’t replace actually sleeping with another person.

Namjoon went to brush his teeth, he lightly hummed around the toothbrush before he heard the door locking behind him. He saw Youngjae in the mirror, he raised an eyebrow confused. He didn’t even know that the locks in the dorm even worked. “Somebody has  to tell you the truth, and sadly I don’t think anybody else seems to want to do it.”

“The truth?” Namjoon asked, pulling out the toothbrush now facing Youngjae who was awkwardly wringing his hands. “Are you okay?”

“It’s not about me… It’s about Jackson. We didn’t tell you since we weren’t courting you, and it isn’t fair to put our issues on you, but we can’t court you without being open to you.” Namjoon got worried now, he didn’t know that anything was wrong with Jackson, how had he not noticed? “Jackson is fine Joonie, it’s not like that… I want to tell you how he lost his ability to smell scents.”

Namjoon just nodded. “I thought he was born like that?”

“A pretty lie he prefers to tell people. Jackson presented early… Like really early, 15. You know how we all had weird ideas what subgenders were at that time? Jackson had just watched a movie about how alphas were killers and rapist. He was alone in the house that night when he presented. Almost all alphas go into rut when they present, Jackson was no different. Problem was that he was 15 and hadn’t even been told yet what to expect from presenting! He had no idea! All the scents were overwhelming, but most overwhelming were the scent of an omega in the house next to his. He could smell her and she smelled so good, he just wanted to go over there. He was just a child, it wasn’t like he was going to do something to her, he didn’t even know what he was supposed to do in a rut, but he knew that the movie had said that alphas were bad people.” Youngjae sighed as he sat down leaning against the door, it was clearly hard for him to tell.

Namjoon could understand why, presenting that early could have some dire consequences, and he knew that Youngjae was sensitive towards other people’s pain. Explaining how much pain Jackson had been in must be terrible for him. But Youngjae didn’t stop, he just took a deep breath before preparing the next part of his tale. “He thought that he wanted to hurt her, and nobody was home to tell him that wasn’t what he was trying to! If anything alphas are just protective during ruts, not dangerous. He knew that the scent gland was important to alphas, he thought that he could fix this himself! That he just had to work hard, he… he…” Youngjae were now crying, as he whispered the rest of the part,“he tried to dig his scent gland out with his fingers. He wanted all the good smelling scents to stop, so he violently tried to get it out. He didn’t stop until he fainted, and if the pack alpha of his family pack  hadn't gotten home in time to smell Jackson in rut and quickly rushed him to the hospital he would have died. He almost did.”

Namjoon just sat and stared at Youngjae in disbelief. Scent glands were sensitive to the touch, how could Jackson have even attempted to dig it out, it must have hurt so much. “Joonie, he almost died because he didn’t want to become an alpha, because of the stupid media! They managed to save his life, but his ability to smell scents is gone. That is why Jackson’s bite is right over his scent gland. It’s a mess of scars that we wanted to help him cover. That is why Jackson always wants to touch, he can’t smell himself on us. So he tries to overcompensate, his inner alpha can’t get sated because it thinks it can’t mark his mates. Even though we keep telling him that we love him and he knows he is a good alpha and that we love him… His body keeps telling him that he is a failure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy expensive chocolate day yesterday! which... I forgot, which my boyfriend were very amused by... And it was my Great-grandmothers one year death date, so that was fun...
> 
> Also next chapter is going to be super long! since It is keeping up with BTS, which is all of BTS's side stories squished into one chapter so people who don't want to read it can skip it. IT contains:
> 
> Jungkook learns stuff, and Taekwoon learns to never give Jungkook a hairbrush.  
> Jimin talks to the rest of Exo and gets a few things explained after very very long heat.  
> Hoseok's group therapy + meeting somebody special there.  
> Yoongi's solo threaphy plus background story  
> Taehyung coming home and noticing that nobody even noticed he was gone.  
> Seokjin trying to keep everything and everybody together, while dealing with the fact that Namjoon almost died from anorexia even tho, HE is the feeding him.
> 
> So maybe wear waterproof eyeliner for that chapter cause it contains:  
> Sexual assault on a minor (Yoongi)  
> Physically assault on a minor (Hoseok)  
> Graphic selfblame (Seokjin)  
> Graphic selfhatred (Taehyung)
> 
> And the rest are actually pretty scot free.... Oh and Lay's heartbreak cause he so far have lost 3 omega's that he really loved... And no it's not Jimin
> 
> Oh and Beast's sob story... Hope nobody are a Hyunseung stan...


	27. Keeping up with BTS, EVERYTHING IS FUCKED edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter has NO Namjoon, its a sublemntary chapter focusing on the rest of BTS; you can skip it! Sadly I just really like to write these, and it's my story!

Jimin knew the second he woke up that his heat had lifted. It was the first time he felt like he could actually access his higher brain function. He was warm and sated with Baekhyun’s body pressed tightly against his. Both of their naked bodies felt a lot less gross than he knew they should be, meaning that somebody had cleaned them while Jimin was sleeping or passed out.

As he became more aware of his surroundings he noticed that Yixing was missing. How long had his heat even been, after the second day his mind had more or less been gone? It had was the first time he didn’t get knotted during a heat, and the intense pain that normally followed his heat, it was actually pretty refreshing.

Jimin almost thought of going back to sleep, the soft and warm body of Baekhyun enough to pull him back under until he heard the door open. He expected Yixing to enter, but instead of the chinese beta it was Junmyeon, who came in with what looked to be a thermometer? “Oh you are awake! That’s good, we were starting to get really worried, Yixing said that your heat seemed to be over. Could you please open your mouth for me, I like to take your temperature.”

At that was when everything hit Jimin, oh god he was naked, he grabbed for the nearest blanket that was half shoved off the big bed to cover himself with an almost girly scream. Which didn’t really come out as a scream since it sounded like his vocal cords had been abused, which knowing himself they probably had.

The exo beta were quick to turn around. “I’m sorry! I overstepped my boundary, I will find some clothes to bring you and then we can check your health!”

Jimin just nodded blushing, having pulled the blanket up to under his chin hiding. It didn’t take the exo member long to find a fresh set of clothes. “Those are Baekhyun's clothes, they might be a little tight on you, but I think the scent might be the least invasive of us.” The younger just nodded awkwardly, too shy to let go of his blanket. Which was kinda silly wasn’t it? He had been fucking two of Junmyeon pack mates! “Oh would you like for me to turn around?”

Baekhyun seemed to have decided that it was time to wake up as well. “Nah, he likes for you to creepily stare at his post heat body, because you know we omegas feel really not sexy after a heat.”

“I’m not being creepy!”

“So you are staring?”

Junmyeon just puffed annoyed at Baekhyun. “See if I ever cook you food again! You are such a brat.”

Baekhyun seemed to take that as a challenge more than anything as he sat up, clearly not ashamed of his naked body. “But I’m hungry, Oppa please?”

That was enough to make Junmyeon flush completely red, as he fumbled and threw both the clothes and the thermometer at Jimin before leaving the room in a hurry without saying anything. Leaving a laughing Baekhyun while spread starfish on the bed not shy one bit. “He gets so shy it’s amazing!”

“He actually likes it?” Jimin was still a little shy, but he let the blanket fall from his chin now leaving his upper body bared now.

“What being called oppa? Yeah he probably left to spank it, or find somebody else to help him.” Baekhyun rolled over on his stomach looking at Jimin. “How are you? 6 days is a lot for a heat, was it early as well?”

Jimin slowly started getting dressed, his body was a little sore and spent, but he felt okay, a little hungry, but finem “Yeah it was early, over a week early and the preheat was very short.” He was a little shy about it. “I’m sorry for how I acted when I got here, I didn’t know I was that far along.”

Baekhyun just smiled at him, leaning up to lightly boop their nooses against each other. “It’s okay, now let’s get you dressed and some food in you before we let people fawn over making sure that you are healthy.” He sighed a little. “I should warn you… we are little over protective over omegas given our history… It’s better just to go with it, and if Sehun is being a brat and aggressive against you, he doesn’t mean it. He still hasn’t gotten over what happened and it’s affecting him a little more than the rest of us, he is more sensitive than he likes to show off.”

Jimin wanted to ask what was wrong with him, what had happened to leave such mental scars on the rapper, but he also knew it wasn’t his place to question it. He was a little hesitant to pull the blanket off his lower body to get dressed. Now that his heat was over he was a little shy to be naked around Baekhyun. “Aww are you shy?”

The worst part was that Baekhyun knew he really shouldn’t push Jimin, but he couldn’t stop himself from running a hand under the blanket and up Jimin’s heated thigh. “You weren’t this shy earlier when you slobbered all over my cock like a good boy.” It had taken Baekhyun and Yixing until round two to find out that Jimin very much got off on being called good, cute and beautiful and stuff like that.

“You can do that!” Jimin blushed moving away from Baekhyun’s hand. “I’m not in heat anymore!”

“Well technically we are omegas so it’s okay for us to play around.” But he pulled his hand to himself again. As much as he loved pushing and teasing Jimin, he didn’t actually want to push him too far.

Jimin was from that quick to pull on the rest of his clothes. “Don’t you want to get dressed as well?”

“Why would I want to cover up this body? I’m good looking.” With that Baekhyun stretched his body like a cat ready and happy to show of.

Jimin managed to convince Baekhyun to atleast put on a pair of boxers, before letting the older omega drag him towards the kitchen. Something that Jimin couldn’t disagree with he was so hungry, a down side to heat. What he hadn’t thought about was the idea that every single current member of exo was sitting the living room lightly chatting when they got in there.

Baekhyun found Junmyeon instantly plopping down his lap. “Feed me, and the other guy.”

The exo leader flushed a deep color as Baekhyun leaned up to whisper something in his ear that the rest couldn’t hear. Even though Jimin was pretty sure he knew what was being whispered into the beta’s ear. Especially since he grabbed Baekhyun’s hand and kinda manhandled him into the kitchen, but with the giant grin on Baekhyun’s face it seemed that it had always been his plan.

Jimin was kinda impressed by Baekhyun’s stamina to be completely honest. Jimin felt a hand on his shoulder and a soft voice. “Come and sit down, Yixing was just catching us up. You are probably tired.” Jongdae's voice were soft and the scent of almonds that followed him was very calming to him. He had never spent a lot of time around a soft alpha, but he could now see why they were so treasured. While he still had the alpha effect around him it was much more calming.

Jimin just nodded, quickly taking a spot to Yixing the person in this room that he was the most connected to. Yixing just smiled softly at him wrapping an arm around. “Sore?”

Jimin just nodded, feeling shy and very much aware that everybody was looking at him. “A little, but it’s better than it normally is. I feel a little weird though.”

From the corner of the room currently having his hair stroked by Kyungsoo, Jongin spoke up. “It’s spending your heat outside of your pack, I have been forced to do it a few times. Your body should return to normal soon.”

“I called your dorm and talked to Seokjin. I have a few notes I promised to tell you. Namjoon left the hospital earlier today, he has gotten his own place to stay, you guys are supposed to take it easy on him in dance practice. Jungkook is staying with Vixx for a reason Seokjin would not disclose. Yoongi will be gone for a little while and not attending practice either.” Minseok rambled it all of like it was a list.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.”

Minseok just looked confused at Jimin. “Of course I had to, I’m the pack alpha here. Somebody had to tell your pack where you were. They would have been super worried for you.”

At the mention of pack alphas Jimin just looked away, but surprisingly enough it was Kyungsoo who spoke up next. “You know it sounds like shit is going on in your own pack, you are welcome to stay here if you need to. Pack drama is never funny.”

That was when Jimin remembered, Kyungsoo had been in a pack before exo. It wasn’t known by the fans, but most idol’s knew. “It’s a little complicated,” Jimin mumbled, “with Namjoon presenting and everything, we are going to be fine!”

Kyungsoo just nodded slowly. “I never said you guys weren’t going to be fine, but you need friends Jimin, we all do. Jungkook is staying with friends you are allowed to take a breather as well. God knows I need time away from these fuck faces sometimes.”

“OI!” Chanyeol yelped out.

“Case in point.” Kyungsoo continued. “What I’m trying to say is, that yeah we might not be the closest of friends, but you managed to stand Baekhyun for 6 days so you are basically family now. We have adopted you… You are now our kid… or dog, depending on what you feel less insulted by.”

Still having Yixing’s arm around him he could stop himself from smiling. Having friends sounds like somebody he desperately needed, Jimin liked people after all.

On the other end of town, a member of BTS who normally loved talking to humans was now hiding in a corner of the room for group therapy. He knew that he had nothing to be ashamed or afraid of, a lot of the people in the room he actually recognized from other places, younger and older idols, model, singers, rich kids. People who couldn’t attend a normal group therapy in fear of their secrets being let out.

When he had talked with his shrink he was the one who told Hoseok that the most help he could get would actually come from group therapy, what he needed was somebody to sit down and listen to his story. He had agreed first, but now that he was here it all just felt like it was too much. He wanted to turn around and run until he felt a light hand on his shoulder and the scent of red ginseng ran over him. “You looked like you are about to run?”

Hoseok turned around surprised to see no other than Yoseob from Beast standing there. The older omega smiled at him. “You are J Hope right? From BTS?”

“Uhm... “ Hoseok kinda blanked out for a second, he was terrible at meeting people he actually looked up to. “Yes! I’m J Hope… Hoseok… Yes I’m Hoseok, from BTS.”

Yoseob just laughed at his fumble, but not in a mean way. “I remember how it was meeting my elders as well. I promise you it doesn’t get better! Want to go and take a seat, you’re early we first start in another hour.”

“I was afraid that I wouldn’t go if I didn’t get here in good time.” Hoseok admitted, something about the omega made him want to be truthful.

Yoseob nodded, floppy brown hair going over to cover his eyes a little. “First time can be scary, are you here alone?” Hoseok nodded. “Do they know you are here? Your pack?” That earned him a head shake from Hoseok as he was guided over to a very comfortable chair. “It’s okay you know, not telling them. Rest of my pack doesn’t know I’m here either. The fact that you are here shows that you are working on your problems.”

Hoseok couldn’t stop himself from smiling a little, he was glad that somebody understood why he didn’t tell his pack. He was afraid that he would be judged by it, but Yoseob just smiled at him. “You wanna talk about why you are here? I know we are supposed to share it in circle, but it might be easier with just one person here instead of many.”

The young alpha bit his lip hesitantly, he wanted to share his story, he wanted to share all of the shit that had happened in his life. He could feel how the words were trying to force their way up his throat, but he didn’t know Yoseob! Yeah he knew he was a member of Beast, he knew tons about him as an idol, but he knew nothing of the man Yoseob. He had just met him, Yoseob seemed to understand. “Would it be easier to tell if I told you the reason that I’m here?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, this is a lot harder than I expected.”

“Don’t apologize, we all come to terms with things in our own pace. I’m here because Hyunseung fucked me up mentally and even after all of it… I still love him, and I would take him back even if he would just look at me.” Yoseob swung his legs a little sadly while sitting. “We tried to make it seem like it was something we all came to a decision about, but really we were blindsided both by him leaving Beast and leaving our pack. He said some really fucked up stuff to us before he left. He didn’t even make Doojoon remove the bite, he managed to reject it by himself and we have no idea how long of time he has had it rejected. He said he never wanted to be part of our pack, it was just easier. And that is the same man that we have shared our nest and love with for 7 years.”

Hoseok knew that Hyunseung had left Beast and the pack, but he didn’t know thought it would be this bad, they had all seemed so happy! He had seen the rest of Beast not that long time ago! They were all smiling, but then again that was the point wasn’t it, you never really knew the struggles that people had behind doors. “Are you okay?”

Yoseob shrugged. “Some days are bad, some days are good. It’s better the days I don’t have to look at Big Bang.” He admitted.

“I’m sorry I don’t understand?”

“Hyunseung never got over not getting into BigBang, he blames us for not being good enough to reach their level. He is a good guy no matter what his actions say, he is just blinded by his hatred for them and especifically Seungri.” Yoseob’s facial expression was sad and even though he tried to smile, Hoseok could see the sadness in his eyes.

Hoseok wanted to make him feel better, but he wasn’t sure how to do it. Normally he never struggled with making people happy, he was supposed to be sunshine. He was people’s hope, why was it that he couldn’t do that now. Yoseob seemed to understand anyway. “It’s okay, it really is. While yes I struggle with accepting what happened sometimes, I am much better now. This is actually the last time I’m going to be here.”

“I’m happy for you,” which he actually was, he didn’t know Yoseob that well, but the older omega seemed like an amazing person, “does this actually help, the group therapy?”

“Oh yeah! It works really well, especially since nothing you say here will ever spread, nobody will judge you here.”

Hoseok wanted to disagree, people would judge him if they knew what really happened, they would call him weak and make fun of him like she had. “My issues are different, yours aren’t your fault, mine are.”

“That guy over there, kicked the youngest omega in his packs stomach because he was jealous that she got pregnant first, whatever you have done we won't judge you.”

“I let my pack alpha beat me, whip me and abuse me because I was to weak to stand up for myself.”

Yoseob looked disturbed to say it mildly. “You need to tell your management, you can’t let your alpha get away with that!”

Oh, yeah that was not what he meant. “Not my current alpha! My family pack.” Yoongi did some questionable things yeah, but he would never beat somebody.

“I’m sorry, I made the wrong conclusion. Is this the first time since then you are getting help? Or talking about it at all?”

Hoseok nodded, now he looked away feeling a little ashamed to admit the truth. “Yeah, I first got out of there when I joined BigHit. I didn’t want to worry the rest of my pack, they just know that I don’t like acting like an alpha. They don’t know how much I actually hate it, how much I wish I was never an alpha. I don’t want to be a monster, I don’t want to be like her! But every time I feel like I become more and more like her!” He couldn’t stop the word vomit that he had kept in for so many years. “I can’t even take off my shirt, because I’m so ashamed of everybody seeing my scars! And with all the shit going on right now I have to step up and be the leader, but I can’t because every time I do it I want to throw up! Everytime I close my eyes I see her, every time I sleep I have to relive those moments! When my shirt rubs against the scars I feel like they are being branded on me again! And I don’t know how to make it better! I don’t know how to unfuck my mind!”

When he finally finished his word vomit he was breathing heavily. Yoseob looking at him his normally friendly face forced into an ugly grimace that didn’t fit his soft and friendly features, and then the short omega almost tackled Hoseok in a hug. A hug containing way more force than his small body should have been able to give out. “It’s okay! Everything is going to be okay, you are safe now.”

The way that even though he was a lot shorter than Hoseok he hugged him close like he wanted to protect him, pushing his face softly into Yoseob’s scent gland the scent of red ginseng surrounding him and forcing him to breathe more calmly. Yoseob patted his head one more time. “It’s okay just let it all out.”

That was it, somebody finally knew the whole story, and they said it was okay and Hoseok just couldn’t hold it in anymore and he cried, he finally let it all out. He finally let out all the tears that he had been holding in, while Yoseob just guided him through it.

In a gym near the Vixx dorm Jungkook was sent flying to the ground again by a well placed punch from Wonshik. Jungkook had learned a lot of things while living with the Vixx pack, one of the most important ones was that Wonshik was a sociopath and seemed to enjoy kicking the shit out of him.

The omega’s fighting style was not amazing, and Jungkook was probably a good match for him, but he couldn’t get himself to punch back. Wonshik was an omega, omega’s weren’t fighters, it would be unfair if he fought back! But as he ended on the ground yet again, staring up at the ceiling he was rethinking a few life choices.

“Are you going to keep just being my living punching bag? I am not complaining, but most people get it at this point.” Wonshik stretched his sweat covered body. He had long since dropped his shirt wearing now only shorts, gloves and a shit eating grin.

“You are abusive.” Jungkook mumbled as he couldn’t even be fucked to get up from his spot on the ground.

“You agreed to it, it’s not my fault you are a pussy.” What felt like the content of an entire water bottle was emptied out over Jungkook. “You looked like you were overheated.”

Jungkook just sighed, he had been living with Vixx for 6 days now and to say that it was different from living with BTS were putting it mildly. In the day yeah he would go to training. Which right now was pretty empty with Taehyung being at vocal practice and both Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon being gone, leaving only him Hoseok and Seokjin to train.

When he got home from training Wonshik would drag him to the gym, helping him work some of the anger and aggression he had inside him out, which really worked! He felt a lot less aggravated after it. Problem was that after that Wonshik would drag him to what looked like a makeshift boxing ring, throwing him a pair of gloves and tell him not hold back. Jungkook at first had first laughed thinking that Wonshik was kidding, but the first hit went right to his stomach sending him to the ground.

When he got up to ask Wonshik what the fuck he was doing he was put on the ground again by another punch. They were all in soft areas and clearly not meant to actually harm him more to prove a point, the worst part was that Jungkook could see them coming as the omega wasn’t doing anything to actually hide it. Jungkook could have stopped them and done pay back, but he couldn’t get himself to do it! Wonshik was an omega!

On the sixth day Jungkook was tired of being a punching bag. “How I’m I suppose to learn to respect omega if you want me to hit one! That is not respect!” He sat up, still sitting in the puddle of water Wonshik had emptied over him.

The omega in question didn’t seem to give five shits about the youngers outburst. “Because refusing to fight back is not respect, you see me - an omega, as a weaker and frail being that can’t protect myself. That isn’t respect, that is disrespect. I’m not asking you to go around beating up omegas I am asking you to see me as an equal, because what you are doing right now is just as bad.”

Jungkook just huffed. “So if I yell and hit I’m abusive, but if I don’t I’m disrespectful!? I don’t understand anything anymore!” He just plopped down to a lying position again, feeling like just giving up on the world.

Wonshik sat down next to his head finger flicking his forehead. “You are putting too much thought into it. Your problem is that you have everybody sorted into a little box of what they are. The point I’m trying to make isn’t that you should treat omegas better than you are treating anybody else. I’m trying to prove that we are just like everybody else and you should treat us as people instead of as subgenders.”

“This is all way to complicated.” Jungkook complained, this was basically against everything Yoongi had taught him. He had learned that there is a clear line between alphas, omegas, and betas they aren’t the same! You treated them different. “You wouldn’t treat a baby like you treat an adult, this is the same!”

Wonshik just looked insulted down at the younger. “Are you trying to say that I need somebody to change my diaper, that I can’t feed myself, that I can’t do anything by myself?”

“No! That is not what I’m saying!” Jungkook wasn’t actually trying to insult Wonshik!

“But that is what you are saying, the reason we don’t treat babies like adults is because they are stupid. They can’t do anything by themselves, omegas aren’t like that, we can do just as much as alphas can, your mindset is so oldschool. Did you know back in the day female alphas weren’t allowed to be pack alphas? They were treated like second grade humans because they weren’t seen as as strong as male alphas”

Jungkook looked weirded out at him, he had never been an amazing history study and gender studies were such a boring topic. Plus his family pack alpha was a female and nobody had ever thought that she was weaker than any of the male alphas. “That is stupid, females are just as good alphas as males! We shouldn't treat them differently!” He defended, he felt like Wonshik’s words were an insult targeted as his family pack alpha.

Wonshik just laughed. “I finally find a way to get through that thick skull of yours! That is my point, it is the same with alphas and omegas There is a reason there are laws against discriminating based on subgenders and genders! It doesn’t make any logical sense!”

The worst part was that Jungkook could see Wonshik’s point, he took a deep breath. “Okay let’s try this one last time before we go back.” The Vixx omega just grinned at him.

“If you think you can take it.” He emptied the bottle of water before putting his gloves back on. “I won’t go easy on you just because you are a kid.”

Jungkook got up and put his own gloves up slightly pouting. “I’m not a kid!”

“Yes you are! A short and young kid.” Yes it turned out that every single member of Vixx was taller than Jungkook, and they liked to point it out to him! All the bloody time!

This time when the first punch came Jungkook cleared his mind, stopped thinking of Wonshik as an omega as somebody that needed to be protected and instead just as his hyung that seemed to enjoy beating him up. And let his body react as it wanted to. His punch was blocked leaving them standing in an awkward position. “Not the face though, I need my face, but it’s a start. Now we just need to house train you.”

“I’m not a dog!”

Jungkook got a sweat soaked towel thrown in his head as Wonshik left for the shower. “Whatever you say!”

The trip back to the Vixx dorms was actually pretty chill, Wonshik seemed to actually be pretty proud of Jungkook’s progression. When they got back the first thing they heard was Taekwoon’s voice much louder than Jungkook had ever heard it before. “NO GET AWAY FROM ME!”

Taekwon was standing in a corner protecting himself with his arms stretched against Jaehwan who were armed with a… brush. “Come on Woonie! I just want to try! I promise I won’t hurt you!”

“Wonshik said the same! And I still have a headache from that!” Taekwoon sounded actually scared of the prospect of letting the younger anywhere near his hair.

“It isn’t fair! You let Hakyeon do it! Why can’t I?” The omega was now full on pouting towards the alpha. “You are being stupid.”

Jungkook could feel a pull in his body again, it was that pull he felt every time anybody in Vixx, especially the omegas, said anything that could be mildly disrespectful towards their pack alpha. It would never happen in BTS, Yoongi would never let any of them disrespect him like that. Yeah Taehyung and himself could get away with being playful sometimes, especially if there was cameras on, but never in the same way that Vixx seemed to like testing Taekwoon’s patience.

He tried not to react, but he was helped along by Wonshik he were still standing behind him placing a heavy hand on Jungkook’s shoulder giving it a light squeeze. “One step at a time, you are doing good.” He mumbled to the younger before speaking up. “What about we let our adopted baby try?”

Taekwoon looked a little hesitant. “Well he can’t be as violent as the two of you.” He then surrendered.

Turned out that Taekwoon was wrong in that assumption, Jungkook was sitting behind Taekwoon brush in hand tongue sticking out surrounded by the pack alphas scent of mocha. Jungkook was slightly jealous of the amazing mocha scent. It was rough like coffee, but it had sweet chocolate undertone that was just so much Taekwoon. As Jungkook ran the brush through Taekwoon’s  shoulder length black hair he focused. The hair was another thing he was slightly jealous of. Not because he wanted it, but because he loved playing with hair like that, sadly it didn’t fit any member of BTS. Well let’s just say that it turned out Jungkook wasn’t any better than Wonshik or Jaehwan at brushing hair, the more he tried to free it from knots the more there seemed to become.

Taekwoon was trying his best not to wail out in pain, it was the first time they had gotten Jungkook to really relax around them and he didn’t want to break that, but it really really fucking hurt! Hakyeon ended up taking pity on their pack alpha as he as gently as possible sat himself down behind the BTS baby alpha trying not to make him uncomfortable with his back pressed against Hakyeon’s front.

Jungkook was way to focused on getting this right to actually be annoyed or startled by Hakyeon as the older placed his hand gently over Jungkook’s holding the brush. “Here let me show you.”

Jungkook let his movements be guided by Hakyeon watching in almost amazement as the knots disappeared leaving the hair smooth and soft under Jungkook’s fingertips.  
  
As Jungkook makes progress with his mental state Yoongi himself is at a crossroad, at least figuratively. Physically he is standing in front of the door to a psychologist office, he knows that he has a choice to make right now. He can open the door, by that admitting that there is something wrong with him, that he is the reason his pack seems to be falling apart. Or he can turn around and deny that this is his fault, he can live on with what he learned, what he always believed in.

He touched Namjoon’s lyrics sheet in his pocket, a piece of paper that he now always carried around to make sure that he remembered why he was doing this, and then he opened the door it was time to stop being in denial, it was time to do something.

The man sitting at the table was around Yoongi’s age he realized surprised. He couldn’t be more than 28 at max, writing on a piece of paper with glasses resting on a straight noose. His skin pale enough to rival Yoongi’s, but he also looked to be taller than even Namjoon. “Mr Min, good to see that you decided to come here tonight, it’s actually much farther than I thought we would get in today’s appointment. I’m Dr. Choi Minjun, and I am as you have already learned been assigned by my mother as your psychologist. I also want to mention that nothing we speak of will leave this room and I will not be telling you anything from my appointment’s with your pack member Jung Hoseok or your group leader Kim Namjoon.”

Minjun’s voice were low like Taehyung’s, but it was pleasant in a relaxing way but not fake like many psychologist. Overall the older man was both handsome and nice sounding. If it weren’t for the outdated haircut, and the bag’s under his eyes from too much work Yoongi could easily have believed that the psychologist was actually an idol. Yoongi was uncomfortable where he was standing swapping between leaning his weight on each foot and his mind instantly went on defensive with him even trying to make up for him being uncomfortable. “Did you get your doctorate degree through your mother?”

The comment was rude and Yoongi knew it, but he couldn’t stop the words from leaving him. Wanting to make the older man as uncomfortable as he was by instinct. Minjun just smiled a friendly smile at him. “I have heard much worse insults on a first meeting, but no. Sadly medical license aren’t genetic no matter how much I wish they were, would you like to take a seat.”

“Am I not suppose to lie down and spill all my secrets to you?” Yoongi’s tone was hard, and his cinnamon scent was being pumped into the room by buckets almost.

“I do have a couch you can go and lie on if you are more comfortable, but most people prefer sitting. That leaves the power balance more open between us.” Yoongi just nodded before taking a spot.

That was when he noticed, Minjun didn’t have any scent at all. It wasn’t that his scent was just really weak, he didn’t have one at all. “You are a dud.” Well Yoongi wasn’t good at being polite right now it seemed.

“And you are an alpha, good we know each other now. I looked over your physical that you turned in, and you know there is a few things we have to talk about.”

Yoongi cringed he had hoped that the injuries were healed enough that they couldn’t be tracked anymore. “There really isn’t a need to, it is taken care of.”

“Mr. Min your ribs have been broken over 8 times and there is no medical records of you getting any help for it, and most of them seem to be from your teenage years.” Minjun showed him an xray. “Most of them don’t seem to have healed correctly.”

“It is really nothing I promise.” Yoongi tried to avoid, he didn’t like to talk about it. He had learned his lesson, he was a strong alpha, he had learned to be strong, he wasn’t a disappointment like they had thought back then.

Minjun took off his glasses resting his head on his folded hand looking at Yoongi with a sad smile. “What about I tell you what I think happened? I think you got beaten as a teenager, with your short stature and thin build your pack thought you would be an omega or and beta. Since you grew up in one of the last alpha packs still working, it wasn’t acceptable for you to not be an alpha.”

Yoongi looked at him with widely open and scared eyes, “How…”

“You don’t think you are the only person we get from alpha packs? Most of them are betas and omegas who were thrown away seen as worthless, but sometimes we see cases like yours. I’m going to be honest with you Mr. Min, me being able to help you is all about how much you let me help. I understand that you are here because there have been some incidents in your pack.”

Yoongi wanted to deny it, he opened his mouth to do it, but then the words took hold in his mind. He couldn’t get the help he needed if he didn’t try, he needed to try, this time he almost killed Namjoon. What would happen next time, when somebody's presentation wasn’t enough to save them from him? “Is calling it the incident your kind way of saying ‘I heard you almost killed somebody’”

Minjun looked over Yoongi, what he saw was a broken man not much younger than him. Who while yes had made some really bad choices who had done some really fucked up shit, he was also very much the victim of his past. But he also knew that sugar coating it for him wouldn’t work. “While what happened with Mr. Kim is partially to blame on you and the rest of your pack, the world is also to blame. From what I understood from Mr. Kim he felt pressured by the hip hop world in general.”

“The hiphop world didn’t make him hate himself.”

“No you and a lot of other people made him hate himself, but you are never going to be able to make it better if you don’t let it go and move forward. Forgive, but don’t forget. Use the memory to move forward, remember that next time it might be your omega, or maybe even one of your betas. I know that your mind is filled with ideas placed there by other people, but you can’t keep blaming them, you need to take responsibility and move forward.”

It was the first time anybody had actually said that this was Yoongi’s own fault, everybody had been so busy making excuse for him. When he was a little too rough with Taehyung, Jimin was quick in excusing that it was just a reflex that Yoongi hadn’t meant it even if he had. When he had told Jungkook to stop acting like such an omega and grow up to be an alpha instead, Hoseok had excused him. When he had insisted on only ever taking Jimin on his hands and knees with his face turned away from him Seokjin had been the one to kiss Jimin and tell him that some people just had things they liked. Even if the real reason he did it was because that was how Yoongi had learned you bred people under you. They had all made it so easy for him to pretend that nothing was wrong. When he had forced Namjoon to delete people off his phone the only person he had told was Jungkook because he knew that Jungkook would agree, that the baby alpha would agree that nobody should touch what is theirs.

He had forced Jimin to stretch the times between he saw and spend times with other omegas so far that the short omega was barely hanging on. He had done it because Jimin had been his and he didn’t want other people to touch him. He had been happy when Tao had left for China, since Tao had prefered Jimin as another omega and liked spending time with him, and Yoongi hated that. But Jungkook had excused him saying that he just really loved Jimin. How was this poison love. “I… I understand, it was so easy for me to act like nothing was wrong, everybody just made excuses for me, everybody was ready to defend me.”

“I understand, admitting this is the first step and you are doing good Mr. Min, I do have a few questions I want to ask you. I want to remind you that this is a safe space, and nothing you say will ever leave this room.”

Yoongi just nodded, and let MinJun go on. “Have you ever been physically assaulted by your family pack before you presented?” Another nod from Yoongi.  “Would this happen often?”

“Yes… They… They thought I was going to present as a beta, not soft enough for an omega, nowhere near hard enough for an alpha. I was small for my age, and skinny. Betas… They are useless…” Yoongi cringed at his own words, he couldn’t believe that he himself said that. “No they aren’t useless, but we were thought they were useless, they couldn’t carry as well as omegas.”

Minjun wrote a few notes on the journal in front of him. “I understand that only hard omegas are allowed to carry children in an alpha pack?”

The older man knew the answer, but getting Yoongi to say it would help the idol accept what had happened to him. “Yes, there was a belief that if only alphas and hard omegas bred you would be able to only create alphas and hard omegas. They weren’t treated like hard omegas though, they were mostly treated like breeding cattle. They learn that they aren’t worth anything other than made for breeding. Other omegas and betas are allowed to leave when they present, oh god… We are inbreeding aren’t we?!”

Yoongi never thought about that, while yes new hard omegas did join the pack, but any hard alpha presented in the pack got forced to stay. That was inbreeding! He was lucky that the omega who carried him had been new to the pack, and with alphas mostly staying in the pack. Packs were meant to only be one generation, Minjun nodded. “That is the sad point of alpha packs and why they are dying out. Most rely on inbreeding especially now days since it is so hard to recruit new members into it. They are like cults we all know they are there, we know they do crazy shit… But we don’t know how to stop them. I have another question… Were you sexually assaulted during the time with you family pack?”

Yoongi swallowed dryly, he wanted to say no, this was his biggest secret. Something he kept denying something he refused to believe had happened to him. But this was the time for the truth, and nothing left this room he wetted his dry lips and nodded. “Yes, more times than I can count.”

“Was this assault ever done by the alpha who is you father, or the pack alpha.”

Again a nodded from Yoongi. “They are the same person, and yes, I were just his disappointing son, all I was good for was some bodily pleasure.”

Back at the BTS dorm’s Seokjin were having a minor breakdown, as Namjoon was being released no matter how much he turned it in his head this was his fault. Namjoon had a heart attack cause of anorexia, anorexia is not eating enough. Who makes food in BTS? He did! This was his fault!

It almost felt like he couldn’t breath, he knew he was having an anxiety attack, he knew that he needed to calm his breathing, he needed to deal with his emotions but it was so much harder than people said.

As he breathed in and out trying to force his breath to become actually workable his phone rang, and even tho one of the last things Seokjin wanted was to talk, but that was the tone he had set for Jaejoong. He couldn’t just ignore him so with a shaking voice he picked up the phone “Hello?”

“Ey! It’s Jaejoong! I found a weird old cookbook, I wanted to hear if you wanted to come over and try it with me? Everybody else are just looking weirdly at me for being excited.” The older alpha’s voice were happy and cheery.

The worst part was that Seokjin really wanted to go, he had found that he enjoyed spending time with the older members of JYJ they were nice, respectful and funny it made a good break from the shitstorm that was BTS right now, but at that moment the idea of going outside and seeing people were overwhelming for him “I… I’m sorry, it’s not a good idea right now Jaejoong-sunbaenim”

Something in his voice must have given it away cause the next question was just a soft “I told you to call me hyung, and is your anxiety is being bad?”

It was the first time that somebody had actually put a word on it, Seokjin had tried to hard to make sure that nobody knew that it was how he felt. He didn’t want that word over him… Anxiety… giving it name somehow made it worse more real “How… How did you know? I haven’t told anybody?” Seokjin were to startled to be polite like he normally were.

“Yunho had the same issues when we were younger, I understand that it’s hard, but being alone is not going to help you right now. Take a deep breath” Seokjin did as asked “You don’t have to come over here for you, then do it for me. Everybody else is at practice and I’m to injured to practice. We don’t have to look at the cookbook, there is a new Jonathan Sparks movie out and Yoochun refuses to watch it with me.” Seokjin actually really wanted to see the movie no member of BTS seemed to like romcoms the same way he did.

“Are you sure?” he didn’t want to push he presents onto the older idol.

“Yes I’m sure,” Jaejoong’s voice were soft in a way he weren’t used to alpha’s being, then again Jaejoon were different for an alpha “I have candy we won’t tell our managers about?”

Romcoms and cheating on his diet sounded like the best idea he had heard in awhile “I’m leaving now.”

“Good I look forward to seeing you.” Seokjin could still feel the anxiety in all of his body, but it was manageable now…. Yeah this could work.   

It wasn’t even 10 minutes after Seokjin left that Taehyung opened the door to the dorm and finally arrived home. He had spent the last 6 days with Seventeen and doing vocal practice for their upcoming album. Which his voice being so unique, it was often that he got vocal lessons alone. While yes it had been amazing being in the main nest with almost to many arms and legs to count and enough hugs and cuddles going around that everybody was happy, Taehyung had missed his own pack.

The thing was when he got home, it was empty cold and empty. “Hello?” The air in the dorm was mostly stale like there hadn’t been enough people to fill it with new and fresh scent. Seokjin’s rose scent was still lingering in the room, but anything else was gone. No Jungkook peppermint, not strong cinnamon from Yoongi, no soft caramel from Jimin to even it all out, it just seemed to abandon.

As he made it’s way through the dorm he found that two of the solo rooms seemed to have been slept in one filled with the sweet but strong honey of Hoseok, the other by soft Seokjin roses.

When he got to the nest it seemed even more abandoned, everything just seemed dead. Even though he had told them he would come home today, his legs gave out from under him as he ended on the ground on his knees. “I missed you… Why didn’t you miss me?” And like that all the good work Seventeen had done, become undone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... This is late... I know... but at least is much longer than normal?
> 
> Here are my excuses:
> 
> Friday, I had my showcase and we placed third! Which is actually not that bad out of 64.  
> Saturday, We had practice and I fucked up a front flip and damaged my neck badly... Which means I now have a constant head ache... which is fun!  
> Sunday, no normal writing day, but for the first time in forever I decided to say FUCK IT! Cause the 4CC was going on and I wanted to watch it! Which was nice, my baby placed third and my future husband proved once again that the one tournament he can't win is the 4CC... And for the people wondering what I'm talking about... Men's single skate.  
> Monday, I went to get my bloodwork back and found out that I needed 90 Mikrogram of D vitamin which to put in perspective... my 80 year old grandfather only need 10 mikrograms. 
> 
> So yeah life is kicking my ass.


	28. This is the orientation to welcome your unbelievable fandom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE:  
> We are back with Namjoon you can read this!

As Namjoon dressed in his sleep wear, just loose shorts and a tank top he thought of Youngjae’s words. It did make sense in the way Jackson was acting. He had always been the person to start any kind of physical contact, he always seemed to need the contact to feel calm and collected.

He made choice as he shuffled into the nest which was just one big mess of blanket, pillows, comforters and 7 guys. Yugyeom was sandwiched between the two omegas, which with his height looked really funny. Jaebum had managed to half wrestle Youngjae into a position that suited him, which was with Yongjae lying half on top of the pack alpha, with his face lightly buried in his scent gland.

Namjoon sat down next to Jackson who looked a little hesitant, still remembering how the newly presented omega had flinched away from his touch. Namjoon kinda cringed since he remembered how bad it most have been for Jackson with his already known issues. “Can we cuddle?” Namjoon was a little hesitant to ask, but he wanted what he wanted.

Jackson just looked surprised. “Are you sure?”

“When have I ever said no to a cuddle?” Jackson’s grin was big and he seemed like an overexcited puppy.

At first he tried to do like they normally would, on their side spooning with Namjoon on his right side so his scent gland pushed into the mattress. But Namjoon placed them both on their side this time, but with his scent gland free. Jackson was a little hesitant at first, so Namjoon took the reins guiding Jackson’s hand under his tank top and backing himself up so they were body to body. Jackson’s body was stiff in an uncomfortable way. “Are you sure this is okay? I don’t want to push you.”

“Jackson, I trust you… “ That was all that needed to be said before Jackson seemed to lose control of the hard reins he was using to hold himself back With as he buried his head in the spot where Namjoon’s neck and shoulder meet nuzzling the scent gland there.

Namjoon couldn’t keep himself from letting out a little hiss in surprise over how intense the feeling was. This was the first time he got scented since he presented and it turned out to be very intense. He felt almost drowned in Jackson’s herbal scent. Jackson from his point was in almost heaven, he had wanted to scent Namjoon since they had become friends. Back then it was of course just as friends, with Namjoon flinching and seeming uncomfortable around alphas. He was worried that he would never get to do it, so he was in heaven right now. He kept at it, focused on his task until he felt a hand grasp strongly at his hair and pull him up.

Jinyoung’s face was close to his and his hand almost painful in Jackson’s hair that he used to control Jackson. “Remember what we talked about getting offered a hand and taking an arm? That is what you are doing right now.”

“He said I could scent him!”

“Yes he did, but you are overdoing it and you know it. And Joonie doesn't know how to say stop yet.”

Jackson pouted, but he knew that Jinyoung had a point. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that to me, say that to Namjoon.” He let go of Jackson’s hair, letting the alpha look down at Namjoon who he still had his arms around who looked a little overwhelmed about what had happened. “Shit I’m sorry Joonie! I get a little overeager sometimes!”

Namjoon took a deep breath centering himself. “It’s okay, it was just a little overwhelming. I am okay.”

Jackson looked a little scorned, but Jinyoung just laughed before lying down in front of Namjoon tangling their legs together. “Just hit him if he is going to far, it works for the rest of us.”

“Or maybe don’t hit the innocent alpha.” Even if Namjoon couldn’t see Jackson he knew that the older were very much pouting, and he intertwined their fingers still under Namjoon’s tank top giving the older man’s hand a slight squish.

“I will remember that.”

“No! See what you did! You turned him against me.” He buried his face in Namjoon’s soft galaxy blue-purple hair.

Namjoon yawned he still very easily got tired and it was late. “Never, always on your side.” He mumbled closing his eyes, happily falling asleep between the beta and alpha. Jinyoung couldn’t stop himself from lightly aweing at how cute that rapper was.

The night went without issues every member of Got7 and Namjoon slept well, and Namjoon couldn’t argue that it was a long time since he had slept that well. While yes the dolls from BigBang had done amazingly it couldn’t substitute actual cuddling.

Namjoon was ripped from the soft holds of sleep by BamBam licking him on his cheek. “What!? BamBam what are you doing!?”

“Yeah! They said I couldn’t wake you like that!” BamBam looked way to happy with himself.

Youngjae barged into the room. “I am so sorry, I didn’t actually think he would do it!”

That was when Namjoon noticed that nobody else was in the nest and while it was still warm and full of scent it were clear that the rest of Got7 had woken up. “It’s okay, I was just a little surprised, why didn’t you guys wake me? I need to walk Rap Mon.” Namjoon rubbed his eyes trying to get the sleep out of them with a yawn.

“Jaebum took him with him out for a run this morning, it’s fine. He should sleep the rest of the day, because sadly he doesn’t have the option like the rest of us to say NO when Jaebum wants to go and run.” BamBam said happily, and that was when Namjoon notice that he was throwing clothes at him that very much weren’t his own.

“I brought my own clothes with me! Also are you sure it’s okay? It’s my dog, I should take care of him.”

Youngjae kinda hung over Namjoon’s back kissing his cheek. “Well we went to pick him up from your family pack, so it is kinda our responsibility as well. Also you might have your own clothes, but they doesn’t smell like us!”

BamBam finished dumping a pile of clothes on Namjoon’s lap. “This should all fit! Now go get changed, there is food in the kitchen.”

Namjoon just nodded, but as he stood up he ended up down on the bed again with the whole world spinning around him and being severely confused about what had just happened. He blinked confused. “Namjoon? What is wrong?! Are you okay?! Should we call the hospital?! Are you dying?! Oh my god, you can’t die now!” BamBam sounded like he was closer than Namjoon to dying, heavily hyperventilating.

“I’m fine, I am just dizzy. Please breathe or it might be you we have to call a doctor for.” Namjoon himself took a deep breath. “Doctor Choi warned me this might happen, since I am still not completely fine and my body has spent most time lying down. Even small physical activities make me really tired and dizzy, it might have been all the walking I did yesterday. I promise I’m fine.” BamBam didn’t look like he completely believed Namjoon and neither did Youngjae who was now lightly rubbing up and down Namjoon’s spine.

Youngjae cringed behind Namjoon’s back with how he could clearly feel the older man's spine through his thin tank top. “Are you fine fine? Not fine as in just trying to make us feel better?” He asked hesitantly, Namjoon had said he was fine before as well, but the fact that he had a heart attack from anorexia told them that it probably wasn’t true back then.

“I promise it’s fine.” Namjoon tried to insist as the stars cleared from his vision. “I just need to drink something.” He made another try to stand up, this time actually succeeding in getting to stand up without being to dizzy.

BamBam slowly nodded biting on his lower lip hesitantly. “Don’t take to long to get dressed or I will personally break down the door to check on you.”

That seemed to break the tension in the room as Youngjae laughed out loud and Namjoon raised an eyebrow looking over his fellow omega’s then build. “When you say that you are going to break it down, you really mean that you are getting Jackson to do it right?”

“Well, everybody belongs to me anyway, so technically it would be me personally doing it.”

Youngjae seemed to disagree with BamBam as he grabbed him from the back wrestling him down onto the bed. “Now who belongs to who you little shit.”

Namjoon left the room with a soft smile on his face happy to see that both of the younger members seemed more calm now. He got dressed and brushed his teeth fast in the bathroom, before deciding to track the rest of Got7 down. The kitchen was filled with laughter and warmth. Mark was sitting at the countertop too busy stuffing food in his mouth to even give anybody else a second glance.

Jaebum and Jinyoung seemed to be going over schedules while trying to eat at the same time, while Jackson seemed to be asleep with his head on the table. Jinyoung looked up from his papers at Namjoon. “Morning Joonie, did you sleep well?”

He nodded yawning again. “Where is Yugyeom?” he asked confused as he hadn’t heard the baby alpha at all which was slightly confusing.

“He isn’t human, he left for dance practice already. You would think that he actually enjoys practice.” it came from Mark who still had his mouth full.

Jinyoung just sighed. “Mark don’t speak with food in your mouth, I am not your mother please don’t make me act like it.”

“Eommaaaaaa.” Jackson piped in without raising his head from the table.

“God I’m leaving this group.”

Jaebum looked almost scared at Jinyoung. “Please don’t leave me alone with this shitshow, atleast take me with you!”

“Who is leaving?” BamBam asked as he entered the kitchen which was on the back of Youngjae who was giving him a piggyback ride clearly having lost the debate of who owns who.

“Appa and Eomma are getting a divorce since Eomma is leaving.” Mark explained.

“Does that mean there are no rules anymore?”

“NO!” Jinyoung yelled out a little louder than what it seemed he planned for. “Rules stays, nobody is leaving. God you guys are making me age way too fast.”

BamBam just grinned, but his facial expression got more serious as he looked over at Namjoon. “Are you feeling better now?”

Which was actually what Namjoon had hoped he wouldn’t ask because just as he expected he suddenly had the attention of every Got7 member. Jaebum stood up from his chair walking closer to Namjoon, still hesitant to get to close as he put the back of his hand over Namjoon’s forehead. “You do feel a little warm, are you sick?”

Namjoon just shook his head. “No I’m fine I promise, I just get dizzy quickly and still feel a little weak. My doctor warned me that it might happen. It might be better if I don’t go in for training today. She warned me about not overworking myself, or I can kiss any chance of being part of our comeback goodbye. Bang PD-nim has already been informed of it, so it’s okay if I don’t turn up.”

Jaebum looked over at Namjoon then at Jinyoung. “Jinyoung you have the best grasp of both the choreo and the vocals could you stay home with him.”

“That is really not needed!” Namjoon tried to intercede. He didn’t want Got7 to get behind because they felt they needed to stay home with him and wait. “I’m going to be fine on my own, I can even go back to my own place if that is better!” He tried to offer, he hated being an issue.

Jinyoung just smiled from his spot on the table. “Namjoon it isn’t just for your fault, but for our own benefit as well. Do you think we could really focus if we knew that you were back home maybe dying? I think I talk for all of us when we say that the rest of them are going to be able to focus much better knowing that somebody is here to watch over you and make sure that you are actually okay.”

BamBam were surprisingly the one who spoke up. “They are right, nobody is going to be able to focus if we think you aren’t okay. Please just agree to this.”

BamBam’s big puppydog eyes were enough to make Namjoon agree. If nothing to stop making BamBam look at him like that, it made him feel like a horrible person. “Okay, if it makes you feel better.”

It took the rest of Got7 a little over 40 minutes to get out of the dorm waving and kissing both Jinyoung and Namjoon goodbye. All promising to take care of themselves and make sure Yugyeom didn’t work to much or to hard.

He helped Jinyoung clean the kitchen, or well that was a lie he didn’t as much help as he sat and did what Jinyoung told him which was to eat and look pretty. Having heard enough stories about Hurricane Namjoon to trust him around anything. “I promise it isn’t that bad!”

“I don’t trust that, also eat!”

“I am older than you.” Namjoon whined but one strong look from Jinyoung was enough for him to actually take another bite.

Jinyoung didn’t look impressed at all. “Yeah by 10 days, it’s sad you don’t use your wisdom of being older to do anything other than lead your group. How is that somebody who is as smart as you seem to be unable to take care of himself at all?”

“I try!” Namjoon insisted “I just kinda forget sometimes!” He looked away sadly, he didn’t want to admit that he had starved himself on purpose to reach some kind of fucked up version of pretty.

Jinyoung seemed to notice that this was clearly not something Namjoon wanted to talk about so he just kissed him on the cheek and smiled. “It’s okay, you are perfect the way you are?” He put the last dish in it’s place. “You wanna watch a movie? And by that I mean, do you want to pretend to watch a movie while you scribble down lyrics because I can see you are itching to work.”

This was why Namjoon liked Jinyoung, he always seemed to understand. Even if they were two very different people he never made Namjoon feel like he was weird. “Yeah that sounds nice, anything you want to watch?” He grabbed the lyrics book Wonho had given up, thinking that this was a good a time as any for a new start.

“What about the new star wars? We just got it on dvd and it’s supposed to be a lot better than the prequels.“

“Lea should have hugged Chewie,” Namjoon mumbled before giving Jinyoung a smile “yeah, I watched it it’s really good!” He wanted to spoil it, but he also wanted Jinyoung to live through it.

The next few hours were spent with Namjoon’s head in Jinyoung lap while he mostly just scribbled down few words while Jinyoung’s soft hand movement in his hair and his commentary. When it finally got to the moment he were waiting for he almost got pushed of the beta’s lap “NO! That’s not okay! I know their pack broke up! But they are still former pack mates! That bond stronger than most! Why didn’t she hug Chewie!?”

Namjoon couldn’t stop laughing. “I know! It is so stupid!”

Jinyoung looked downright insulted by the movie as he more or less tackled Namjoon that was already in a hug. “Even if you don’t pick us, will you still hug me before a stranger if somebody dies?”

The omega couldn’t stop himself from laughing louder than he had in awhile, even if he were dizzy and a feeling a little sick he hugged Jinyoung closed. “I promise you! I will always hug you before a stranger even if you just need a hug,”

“Awww you are such a turtle, hard on the outside but sweet on the inside! I told you before you are always our omega, even if you don’t pick us, you will still be!” Jinyoung placed a raspberry on his cheek which made Namjoon make a weird noise between a laugh and insulted groan.

“Did you just call me a turtle!” Jinyoung just laughed at him. “Then you are a… house cat! Prefers to lie in the sun all day, and is secretly controlling everything!”

Jinyoung smiled. “The house cat and the turtle, sounds like a children's book from the discount shelf.”

“You are a discount shelf.” Namjoon mumbled childish, but not moving from the cuddle spot on the floor, even if it wasn’t super comfortable. Jinyoung was warm and his scent of toffee almost made Namjoon think that it was time for nap, actually that might just be his exhausted body.

“I have something I want to talk about.” Jinyoung said in a much more serious voice. He was currently lying with his head on Namjoon’s shoulder and a leg thrown over his thigh hugging his side.

“Mmmh?” Namjoon mumbled, he was so close to closing his eyes and give in to sleep, but he knew that the tone in Jinyoung’s voice meant that it was serious.

“I wanted to thank you for trusting me.”

“What do you mean? I have always trusted you, why wouldn’t I do that?”

Jinyoung sighed cuddling almost impossibly closer. “I meant for letting me be your emergency contact, it means a lot to me.”

Namjoon was more awake now but a lot more confused about what the hell Jinyoung was talking about. “We talked about it before, did I not tell you? I’m confused.”

“Most people would have said that you should go with an alpha, because you know… Alpha. Or an omega because they are more in touch with their emotions.” Jinyoung mumbled this into the fabric of Namjoon hoodie that he were pretty sure belonged to Yugyeom. The only person with long enough arms that the hoodie somehow actually made sweater paws.

“No… I didn’t pick a beta.”

“Yes you did?” Now it was Jinyoung’s turn to look at Namjoon like he were an idiot. “You picked me remember? I am the one that got the call that you were in the hospital.”

“I picked a friend that I knew would always do the right thing for me, I picked a person that I trusted would be there for me. Sub gender doesn’t matter, you of all people should know that sub gender isn’t everything… Aren’t you the one who tried to teach me that earlier?”

Jinyoung looked at him with comically large eyes, but he didn’t answer instead he more or less just attacked Namjoon with a kiss… Because yeah, sometimes a person preaching self worth, needs a little bit of reminder, that betas are just as special as the two other genders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah the chapter are shorter, the reason for this is that I am feeling extremely fatigued and it will be a month or two before my vitamin D pills starts working, I wont update less. Just expect the chapter to be around 3.2k to 3.5k!
> 
> Also army's stop fighting once's! It clearly wasn't them who did the hack, now leave it alone fan wars are stupid <3
> 
> Have a nice Wednesday!
> 
> OH! And the next scene has the start of threesome, anybody who can't guess with who? It's still a Namjoon chapter, but Namjoon is not part of it (He walks in on it!)


	29. I wanna get down! Fuck it, I Love y’all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... I accidentally sent last chapter to my lecturer instead of my project... That was awkward... she corrected my grammar which was even weirder.
> 
> Also! Nobody guessed the threesome, everybody thought it was Yugyeom x BamBam x Jackson, shame on you guys!

When the rest of Got7 got home Jinyoung and Namjoon had swapped position. Instead of laying on the floor Namjoon was now napping with his body covering the betas and his head resting on his shoulder while the other idol was watching a starwars marathon focused on finding out why she didn’t hug Chewy!

At first Namjoon had been hesitant to cuddle like that, he kept worrying that he was too heavy for Jinyoung which was a laughing matter. Even before his eating disorder he was still skinny like most idols were and it wasn’t like Jinyoung was built like a stick… He wasn’t BamBam.

As he watched Princess Leia in a slave costume he let his mind wander as he gently petted Namjoon’s hair looking over his relaxed face as he slept. His scent still weren’t very clear, but lying this close to each other Jinyoung felt like he was almost surrounded by the smell of peaches and cream. He had never thought about it, but the scent fit Namjoon so well, the scent of peaches were fresh and with a strong undertone, but the cream had a sweet and soft undertone it showed Namjoon personality so well, both fresh and strong, also sweet and soft.

He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the first time he meet the now omega. It was two years ago just after they had debuted and they went to a music show, while yes they hadn’t won that time it had been worth it to meet the other idols. 2014 was also the time were Namjoon had the bleach blond hair, it had been what Jinyoung liked to call ‘trying way to hard to be badass’-era.

Jinyoung giggled a little at the thought. It wasn’t that they had been bad performers or that their songs were bad. It was more than every single member had tried so hard to seem like the most hardcore badasses, even though half of them were actually softies… cough cough… Jin and Jimin. But that wasn’t important, it was to nobody's surprise that it was Jackson who ended up finding Namjoon and started talking to him.

The truth was that Namjoon was a little scary to approach by most new idols. Since the BTS leader was clearly a dud something that most people didn’t even know about until they googled it most people didn’t know how to treat him. But poor Jackson who had no sense of scent had no idea why some people walked in a circle around the tall cute blond rapper. Namjoon had been leaning against the wall doing that thing where he chews at his thumb watching over what his group had gotten up to. Jackson had tried with his best suave act which turned out the be horrible as he leaned on the wall next to Namjoon. “You are from BTS right? The leader? Namjoon-hyung?”

Namjoon turned towards him looking more than a little surprised that somebody was actually talking to him. Especially somebody he didn’t know but he giggled a little. “You are older than me Jackson-hyung, I saw your guys performence you are really good.”

Jinyoung had been watching from the chair that he had captured for himself. Mostly because Jackson seemed to have this ability to get himself in trouble without even trying so Jinyoung worried about him. Especially since they were rookies, he stood up to stop Jackson from making himself a joke until he saw Namjoon giggle at something Jackson said.

“Jackson-hyung? I thought you were going to help Mark-hyung get ready?” At that point they hadn’t been pack yet, but they were working towards it. It was just that nobody had wanted to hurry it up, wanting to make sure that everybody had thought it through.

Jackson almost stuck his foot in his mouth when he said. “Namjoon looked lonely! I wanted to see why people tried to avoid him it looks rude!” Oh god Jackson didn’t know Namjoon was a dud, none of them had told them just assumed that everybody had known.

The beta looked at Namjoon apologetic as the BTS leader just looked awkward. “I’m so sorry, he has no sense of scent so he doesn’t know he never meant to offend you.”

Namjoon just smiled a smile that was hiding way to much pain than a man his age should have. “It’s okay, I’m not offended I was a little surprised why he did come up and talk to me. I kinda thought I was about to get shived.” His laughter sounded almost fake like he was trying to make light of a sad time. “It was really nice to meet both of you, but we need to get on the stage in a second. Good luck on your promotions, you guys are great.”

Jackson and Jinyoung exchanged a stare as the rapper got ready to leave them, and Jinyoung felt like his heart was almost hurting, like he knew that something were wrong, and he wanted to do something. “Can I have your number?” Jackson word vomited out before Jinyoung did.

Somehow that made Namjoon look even more confused. “Are you sure? You got the answer to your question?”

The alpha quickly nodded. “I don’t care about your sub gender as long as you don’t care that I can’t smell scent. But you sound cool and god knows I need friends, mine are back in Hong Kong and looking at them all the time might stress me out.” Jackson sent Namjoon what Jinyoung had learned to recognize as his wide slightly up to no good smile.

But it worked, it made Namjoon’s smile reach his eyes for the first time in a while. “Yeah… That would be nice.”

That was how Namjoon had gotten to know all of Got7, from there they had all agreed that something wasn’t well with Namjoon. But nobody had wanted to say anything to him at first, and then they had all just become friends. It had taken almost 1 year before Namjoon opened up to the issues he had with BTS. It had taken alcohol and a special bad day for Mark to be the one to get the truth out of Namjoon. How he felt that BTS didn’t care about him, like he wasn’t really there.. How he felt lonely… and never good enough.

He had said so many negative things about himself that Mark… Mark who rarely cried… Started crying telling the all back, Namjoon hadn’t remembered what he had said the next day. But it didn’t matter, while Got7 hadn’t told the BTS rapper what had happened, they made sure that he always felt welcome in their dorm. Because if BTS couldn’t keep him happy, they were going to damn well try.  

Over the time they had all gotten a little too attached to the suppressed omega. You know that person you are in a love with, but he or she is an a relationship, but you love her so much that you want the best for them and would do everything to make sure that everything were okay. You would be the person to mediate the relationship and try to fix everything, that was how Got7 felt for Namjoon.

As a dud he felt that he needed to be with BTS and they knew that it would never be an option to court him or try to get him away from BTS. So they had tried their best to make Namjoon’s pack work, tried to support him, but sometimes it was hard. The hardest point had been when BamBam had found Namjoon throwing up the food he had just eaten. That had led to the admission that Namjoon wanted to be skinnier and better looking.

Yeah… There had been moments where everything seem to be impossible, but this moment with Namjoon sleeping against Jinyoung with said beta’s hand buried in his hair while petting his sharp hipbone had been worth every struggle, Namjoon was worth every struggle.

When the door to the dorm banged open it was none to gently and Jinyoung was quick to cover up Namjoon ears as the omega left out an almost adorable little whine as sign that he really didn’t want to wake up and Jinyoung didn’t want him to wake up either. Yugyeom was the first one to enter the living room, but it was his back pushed by the much shorter BamBam who had a predatory grin on his face, and the very clear uncovered bite sitting on the maknae’s collarbone showed what Jinyoung was pretty sure was a pretty heated makeout session.

“Go to the nest if you want to fuck around, please. Namjoon is sleeping and I don’t want him to wake up.” Jinyoung’s voice was low as his hands still covered Namjoon’s ears, but his eyes were piercing. It had taken so much convincing to get Namjoon to lay like this to sleep and a pair of maknae’s were not going to ruin that.

BamBam looked pasted Yugyeom’s stupidly tall body to notice the two on the couch. “Awww I lost, I thought for sure that you two would be messing around.”

Jinyoung looked almost offended. “You really want one of his first sexual moments to be while he is sick with only one of us here? Don’t you think he deserves better?”

BamBam just pouted “You suck.“ He then strutted over to give the sleeping Namjoon a kiss on the cheek, before dragging the blushing Yugyeom to the nest.

“I swear to god, those two are bunnies, how does any of them even have the energy.” Jinyoung mumbled as he uncovered Namjoon’s ears and petted his hair a little before turning his attention back to the movie.

“Who are bunnies?” It came from the doorway as Mark entered, the newest member of the Got7 pack smiled at the sight he saw. Those two were so cute!

Jinyoung just sighed. “BamBam and Yugyeom, they are in the nest fucking…”

“Without me!? Fuckers… The promised to wait I just needed to shower first.” And that was all Mark said before he also disappeared down to the nest. Jinyoung should have expected that somehow. The two omegas had taken to tag teaming who ever they felt like, and god know that one of them were a lot to handle, both were almost impossible to keep up with.

Jaebum stuck his head inside. “Is it safe?”

“Double trouble have already found their victim you are safe.” Jinyoung just laughed, keeping his voice low to not wake up Namjoon.

The alpha just sighed, stepping over to first kiss Namjoon on the cheek and then give Jinyoung a real welcome home kiss. “I couldn’t even get it up if I wanted. I am so dead on my feet it’s insane, I’m thinking of running away to become a farmer?”

“That bad?”

“Since you weren’t there I seemed to get both your and mine normal feedback. Fun fact he isn’t a fan of either one of us.” Jaebum complained as he collapsed on the other couch face first into the cushion.

Jinyoung just laughed. “That is because he is the only choreographer who values how much shit you can get up to, we are simply not brats enough.”

“I could be.” Jaebum mumbled, but his words were slurred as he sounded like he was ready to join Namjoon in dream land. Jinyoung didn’t feel like answering, knowing that Jaebum didn’t expect him to just letting the alpha sleep.

When Youngjae and Jackson came home it was with an equal amount of worry. Both members not seeming to appreciate hurricane MarkBam today. “You are all safe, their thirst has been sated they will not find another sacrifice until tomorrow, and I have already voted for Jackson.” Jinyoung teased.

Jackson just whined high in his throat. “Please don’t do this to me, how can they even fuck around after this much training and Yugyeom was there hours before us. I swear to god this isn’t human! They are vampires feasting on sex!” He collapsed half on top of Jaebum who didn’t even wake up just lightly wriggled around until he found a better spot to sleep with his fellow alpha half on top of him.

Youngjae didn’t seem to appreciate it though as he looked at the two cuddling couples with a pout as he whined. “I want to cuddle to.”

Namjoon finally seemed to have woken up as he rubbed his eyes with the sweater sleeve that reached past his hand. “You can have my spot, I need to get up and move around my legs are sleeping.”

“You would leave me alone?” Jinyoung asked playing offended, for a second Najoon seem to actually think that Jinyoung was offended, but as he lifted his head and saw the soft smile on Jinyoung’s face he understood it was just a joke.

The omega still had to get used to people being so open and teasing about affection, a thing that he himself sometimes felt starving for. “Yup you are too skinny, not comfortable.” As he stretched his body like a cat he could almost hear his bones pop while getting up.

Jinyoung were the one to now pout. “That is like the pot calling the kettle black,”

And then for the first time Namjoon reached down to initiate a kiss, it was nothing hot or heavy, but it was meaningful because it was the first time Namjoon started the kiss which made it even more important. “Your kettle is pink with little cupids.” He giggled, before walking towards the bathroom leaving a slightly blushing Jinyoung behind.

Youngjae laughed looking after Namjoon, his laugh was loud and refreshing as he plopped himself down on his fellow beta going straight for the scent gland to scent him… Youngjae liked to scent people, a lot… It was his life kink, somebody had pinky holding, or noose bopping Youngjae had scenting.

Which yes was weird for an beta to like to scent, it was mainly an alpha or omega thing, but fuck gender stereotypes! “They grow up so fast.” He couldn’t stop himself from teasing the older beta.

Jackson was the one answering. “You are making it sound like he is our pup, and that means I want to fuck around with our pup… and that’s to weird even for me.”

Youngjae laughed and as the rest of the living room joined him in the laughing Namjoon finished his stuff in the bathroom when he noticed that he hadn’t checked out the puzzle box still in his pack. He did remember what Seungri told him to do, oh god his phone was still in his bag and he hadn’t checked it at all!

The problem was that he had been sleeping under all the conversation about the fucking in the nest. So he just assumed that they were still at training, so he just opened to door and didn’t even knock, what he saw when he opened the door was not what he expected at all.

Yugyeom was on the middle of the bed on his knees with his arms restrained behind his back by what looked to be his own shirt being pulled half there. Behind him was BamBam who was naked from hip and up and the youngest omega had his face buried between the alpha’s ass cheeks and looked to be very very eagerly eating out the younger Got7 member. In front of Yugyeom was Mark who had only really been fucked to open his pants and pull them down a little.

The oldest of them looked to be most in control as he leaned against the headrest of the bed. One hand was buried in Yugyeom’s hair and the other was caressing his throat. His throat which Mark’s cock was currently down as the older omega controlled how deep and fast Yugyeom took him.

The two omegas had full control of everything that happened, and from where Namjoon could see that Yugyeom’s heavy alpha cock was wearing a cockring and SINCE WHEN DID YUGYEOM HAVE A NIPPLE PIERCING?!

A nipple piercing that must have been there for a while with the way BamBam with one hand was lightly pulling it while the other hand was massaging Yugyeom’s balls. At the same time as he made sure to run his hand over his cock a few times as well really teasing the younger man. Namjoon could see tears running down Yugyeom’s cheeks, he wasn’t sure if it was from all the teasing BamBam was giving him or how Mark seemed to be abusing his mouth. Namjoon knew that he should leave he knew that he should turn around and give them the privacy they wanted in their own dorm… in their own nest… a space he wasn’t part of, but some part of him didn’t want to leave.

The thing was that everybody had hid this sexual world from him thinking that he was disgusted by it since he was a dud, but he wasn’t a dud he was an omega… an omega who’s only view into the sexual world was twice letting another omega grind on top of him. Fuck he hadn’t even seen another real human naked before in a sexual setting! The next thing he noticed was that Mark was almost completely silent as he fucked Yugyeom down on his cock, the only sounds that left his mouth were a few grunts.

He thought omegas were suppose to be loud and needy during sex, but then again Mark had always liked to break stereotypes. The most sounds didn’t come from him our Yugyeom for that point, but that might be because it was hard to make sounds with a cock deep in his throat. Instead it came from BamBam who was actually the one getting the least personal pleasure, but he also seemed to be the one enjoying himself the most with how eagerly he were eating Yugyeom’s ass out. Namjoon almost felt sorry for Yugyeom for how eager BamBam was and how neither of the omegas seem to give him the time to breath, but then again Namjoon knew that they would never do something to him that he hadn’t consented to.

Then Mark ripped Yugyeom off his cock by his hair, and the maknae seemed to understand at the same time what to do as he stuck his tongue out and Mark came over his face with the loudest sound Namjoon had heard him do in all this time. At the same time Mark came Namjoon couldn’t keep in his own little gasp of surprise, which alerted the Got7 members to his presence, and while BamBam didn’t let up forcing a moan out of Yugyeom both of the two others looked at Namjoon who was now blushing.

While Mark just grinned at him Yugyeom looked just as terrified as Namjoon felt. Namjoon did the only logical thing he could do when getting caught looking at his friends have sex, his stammered out. “I’m sorry!” And then ran out of the bedroom without getting what he came for.

Namjoon didn’t feel like actually going to the living room after that, one of the reasons was that he was a little turned on by what he had seen, and the fact that he was very embarrassed about being caught. So he hid in the spare bathroom that Got7 tried to avoid using since the water there was never really warm enough.

The rapper wasn’t sure how of long time he had sat there when he heard a knock on the door and a low voice. “I know you are in there Namjoon-hyung, can I come in?”

“Yeah of course.” Namjoon was confused Yugyeom had dropped the hyung in private many months ago, and now they were courting him… Why would he start on the hyung again, they were closer than that?

Yugyeom looked a lot more put together now, wearing a high collared shirt to cover all of the marks on his throat and he shuffled into the room he looked so… sad? Why did he look sad? Yugyeom should never look sad!

Namjoon was almost ready to ask when Yugyeom came in front of him. “Please don’t reject us because of this! Please! I promise I can be normal! I can be a good alpha! Please just forget what you saw… I can be a real alpha… Please… I promise!”

Oh… That was not what Namjoon expected.       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the update schedule I am going for is:
> 
> Monday - Hidden Omega  
> Wednday - Hidden Omega  
> Friday - Request Friday (This is where I take a break to just write different request I have gotten)  
> Rest of the week - What ever I manage to finish of short stories.
> 
> Now a update to how did Prussia manage to hurt herself this week:  
> My chain fell of while riding down a hill on my bicycle and I smashed my knee... No more dancing for me for three weeks... On the upside, I don't have breast cancer like my doctor thought I had... So that's nice...
> 
> Have a nice Monday! And I hope you liked this chapter!


	30. The ground is shaking and 3 minutes is not enough for this race, wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the people who thought the last scene were a little to vanilla, here is a little bit more!

Namjoon just looked with big eyes at Yugyeom, and then he understood what Yugyeom meant. “No… Please don’t say that. I like you the way you are.”

Yugyeom looked straight up confused. “But… You are from BTS, you guys only like real gender roles. I’m just a weirdo.” The way the tall alpha said it was like he was repeating something told to him before and that was when it hit Namjoon.

As he looked at Yugyeom he didn’t really see Yugyeom anymore. He saw Jungkook or what Jungkook could have been if he had been allowed to flourish instead of gotten other beliefs pushed on him.

Namjoon could remember the earlier days before both Jungkook and Yugyeom had presented. Oh god they had been inseparable back then. Every time Namjoon went to visit Got7 Jungkook had almost begged for him to go as well and almost attacked Yugyeom in hugs when he got there which the other idol had very much reciprocated. They had been so much like over excited puppies, that Jaebum had even teased that both BTS and Got7 should be worried that they would run away to live on a farm as one of those rare 1 on 1 couples the world had.

How had Namjoon not noticed that something was wrong with the two maknaes shortly after they had both presented. They had just stopped talking to each other and they went from being so similar to being like earth and wind. Namjoon had never really thought what pressure Yoongi’s mindset had put on the rest of BTS, but the proof was right here in front of him.

Yugyeom had been under Jaebum and Jackson, both would accept him no matter how he was, and if he came out tomorrow and said he was actually an omega inside, they would support him. Jungkook was on the other side had had it very differently, he had had Yoongi and Hoseok. One alpha that was strict and only accepted being the most ‘alpha’ as possible and Hoseok who hated being an alpha. Of course Jungkook had ended up like that.

It made so much more sense why Yugyeom was worried that Namjoon wouldn’t accept him for who he was, if he had already had Jungkook push him away. Namjoon did the first thing he could think of doing, the thing he wished that he could go back in time and do to Jungkook. He wrapped his arms around Yugyeom in a tight hug as much as his malnourished body could handle and mumbled. “Don’t ever say stuff like, I like you for who you are and whatever you like during sex would never change that.”

Yugyeom sniffed a little before hugging Namjoon tight as well after a few hesitant moments. Namjoon faintly noticed that his instinct wasn’t screaming at him to get away and to be careful of the alpha, but it was probably because his inner omega knew that Yugyeom was a not threat to anything other than maybe his tear ducts. The younger had still yet to say anything as he just hugged Namjoon, so the rapper continued. “Do you… have issues with your sub-gender?”

Yugyeom giggled a little before pulling away from Namjoon, rubbing his eyes a little and while no tears had been released he still looked like he was close but his smile was genuine. “No, I love being an alpha, I like me as I am. It’s just… You saw what you saw and then you ran away, I was worried that you were disgusted by what you saw. I know that it means so much for everybody that you are here,” he then seemed to catch what he had said as he quickly interrupted himself “it means to me as well! I promise!”

Namjoon just giggled. “It is okay, I knew that this is more knew between you and me than the rest, since you always had Jungkook. It is okay, it just means we haven’t had as much time as the rest.”

Yugyeom sat down on the floor on the bathroom. “What about we change that, the floor has heat in it and it is nice.” He patted to floor next to him.

The omega was a little hesitant, but then he sat down next to Yugyeom and he leaned his head on Yugyeom’s shoulder. That was when he noticed one big difference between how he normally sat with people, Yugyeom’s shoulder were higher up than his. It was really comfortable, now it made so much sense why people always did it with him!

Namjoon knew he had to ask a question. “What happened between you and Kookie, I first noticed now, but before you presented you were both impossible to separate, now I never even see you guys together. What happened?”

The alpha kinda giggled awkwardly. “Uhm… We might have been a little closer than you guys knew.”

Somehow Namjoon knew he wouldn’t be a fan of what he was about to be told. “What did you guys do?”

“You know how we would often lock ourselves in the spare room in either dorm? We might uhm… have been fooling around?”

Namjoon sighed in relief. “You know that is normal right? A lot of people mess around, but they are just playing to help with pheromones and feeling close to people. Sex isn’t love Yugyeom, you and Jungkook were very very close, it makes sense that you guys fooled around.”

“Before we presented.”

“YUGYEOM!” Namjoon yelled out as he started at the younger, “You know that is wrong! You weren’t ready for it! This isn’t an age thing, before presentation you simply aren’t ready for it!”

“You don’t understand how it is being the youngest! You know everybody is messing around, but they are hiding it from you and you aren’t allowed to join, not even look!” Yugyeom pouted “People won't even answer your questions about it, we got curious and started fooling around! It was very mild stuff, like touching and rubbing! No full penetration!”

While Namjoon wanted to yell at Yugyeom, he wanted to tell him what he did was wrong, but he also understood. Everybody keeping something away from you, decided thing wasn’t for you. “I understand I really do. Everybody has done the same for me, but you need to understand that what you guys did could really hurt both of you, you simply weren’t ready for such a big decision.”

Yugyeom just nodded sadly. “I know now, but that is not what messed up our relationship. It was after we had presented, we were fooling around and I told him how Jackson had almost accidentally knotted me. He thought Jackson had raped me, he couldn’t understand why an alpha would let another alpha fuck them, he got… he got really nasty with his words, he called me a freak, he got mad when I touched him. He didn’t want a freak to touch him, said it was too nasty. That was the last time I talked to him, I was pretty fucked in the head a few weeks after that, but I learned that nothing is wrong with me. I’m not any less of an alpha just because I like different things!” He sighed “I feel sorry for Kookie though, he wasn’t like that normally. I think under those hormone issues and those ideas he has in his head he is just like me. I think it would be good for him to put away that dominant persona for a second and stop pretending that he is something he isn’t.”

Namjoon hated to admit but Yugyeom was right. He knew that Yoongi had never wanted to hurt a soul, but his methods weren’t always the best and they hadn’t been good for Jungkook. “He is staying with Vixx for a few weeks and he is having his hormones fixed, so there might still be hope for him, we might still have Jungkook back.”

Namjoon leaned his head back on Yugyeom’s shoulder who kissed his hair. “That would be nice, if anybody can teach him that being an alpha is many different thing it’s those guys… I’m worried that Wonshik is going to kill him though.”

“He isn’t that bad.” Namjoon argued, he was pretty good friends with Wonshik especially after the Bobby accident and he really liked Wonshik.

Yugyeom laughed a light laughter. “You say that. One of the rookies accidentally called Ken a stupid omega, I was so sure that Wonshik was about to actually rip his head off.”

“Okay he is a little defensive.”

“A little?”

“Okay a lot! But he only wants what is best for people.”

Yugyeom just giggled. “It’s okay, you don’t need to explain yourself I like him as well. He is something special, but hopefully Hakyeon will stop him from murdering Jungkook if he calls Taekwoon weak or a freak.”

“I’m more worried that Hakyeon might hold him while Wonshik guts him, sometimes I question how sane Hakyeon really is.”

“Can you blame him?” Both just laughed and a comfortable silence fell over them.

Yugyeom played with his hand, and Namjoon found it pretty funny how the alpha actually had a bigger hand than him. That never happened, the thing was that Namjoon actually really had a question that he wanted to ask. But he was a little shy so he kinda stuttered a little when he asks. “Are you always - uhm… “ he pointed towards the bedroom trying to make Yugyeom understand what he meant.

“Submissive?” Yugyeom tried to help.

Namjoon just nodded linking his and Yugyeom’s hands together, closing his eyes enjoying the youngers thumb caressing his hand. “Not always,” the alpha tried to explain, “I like being submissive though.”

“Why?” Namjoon questioned, but his voice was soft and nice so it was clear that he wasn’t judging the other, he was actually just curious.

“I never really thought about why I like what I like. I like it with Jackson and Jaebum because I know I could never out dominant them, and it is always almost overwhelming to be the sole focus of those two, they are very intense. Especially Jaebum, he has this way of making you feel like everything other than you stops existing. Where he is the one who is actually most careful with me, he is also the most dominant. It was from him where I learned that dominant doesn’t mean harsh. Jackson is a whole other story though. Where Jaebum makes you feel like you are the only person that exists, Jackson make you feel like both of you are in the eye of the storm, and all you can do is hold on and trust that he will get both of you out whole.”

Namjoon didn’t need to open his eyes to hear the smile in Yugyeom’s lips and the way he explained it sounded so much like both of the alpha. It also sounded different than he had ever thought about sex. He always thought that sex was just insert A into B, and empty into B and done. But Yugyeom made it sound so different.

“BamBam is very different, he can go from being very submissive to very dominant. I mainly only sub to him when Mark is with us. It’s something special being between those two. I can’t explain how intense it is with both of their attention fully on you.” Yugyeom laughed lightly. “Youngjae is… different, he isn’t as much into full on sex on a 1 on 1 base, he prefer just rolling around and scent each other for hours getting off on just rubbing against his partner. And then there is Jinyoung, the only person that he completely dominate, because he is such a bloody pillow queen!”

“Pillow queen?” Another thing Namjoon wasn’t familiar with.

“It’s hard to explain, he doesn't like doing the work, but not in a bad way! You know how betas have a hard time taking a knot?” A nod from Namjoon, “Jinyoung really likes being knotted, but I am the only one who can actually really do it.”

That just confused Namjoon, he was pretty sure that neither Jackson nor Jaebum had sexual issues and Yugyeom seemed to notice that he had a hard time understanding what the issue was. “Not all knots are the same, both Jaebum and Jackson are wider than me, where I’m longer. That means that Jinyoung has a lot harder time taking a knot from somebody who is already wide, when it’s me he can take it without it hurting.”

“Does it actually feel good for a beta to take a knot?”

“I think so, he moans loudly and comes hard so I hope he likes it. It’s always really hot when you see and feel somebodies body just eat up your knot.” Yugyeom sounded actually dreaming about, and Namjoon had to cross his legs since this talk about knots was getting to him.

“Uhm… can we talk about something else?”

And in that moment it was very clear that Yugyeom was indeed part of the maknae line as he looked at Namjoon with a grin and then down to his crossed legs. “What does it turn you on.”

Namjoon didn’t know what to answer at first, while yes it turned him on he was also so used to being excluded from anything sexual that he almost denied it. But he didn’t have to do that anymore! He was an omega, he didn’t have to be ashamed of his sexual needs so he nodded a little hesitant. “I’m sorry.”

The grin from Yugyeom’s face hadn’t disappeared. “Don’t apologize, I… Can help you if you want?”

“You would do that?”

Yugyeom looked surprised that he would actually ask that. “Of course! If you would let me, we can do it in a way where you feel like you are in a little bit more control, I know you are still having a few issues with alphas.”

“It’s not on purpose I trust you guys!” Namjoon tried to explain, he didn’t want Yugyeom to think any different, “And… you seem to be easier on my mind for some reason.”

“It is because I pump out much less alpha scent than the rest of them. Have you done anything like this before?”

Namjoon nodded a little now blushing “Mark and Junhong have both uhm - rubbed against me, until we came.”

A weird noise came out from the younger alpha. “Now I really want to see that, omegas are so hot together you should make Mark and BamBam give you a show at some point, they are so hot together… What about you sit between my legs, that way you can always get up and away if your mind feels it like that? If you are still up for it.”

Namjoon had to admit that the thought of Mark and BamBam together was hot, but the thought of actually relieving the ache between his legs, not by himself sounded great as well. “Are you sure you want to do that, I can’t touch you like that.”

Now it was Yugyeom that blushed. “Uhm… That is probably for the better… I… uhm… BamBam he… uhm…” Aww Yugyeom looked so cute struggle to say his sentence, “he told me to keep on the ring until tonight.”

Okay yeah, that was also kinda hot. The fact that Yugyeom in his most private place was still wearing a mark showing him where he belonged. “Please stop if it gets too much”

“Of course! Consent is important! It’s the first thing they taught me!” Yugyeom’s smile was wide and happy like it was him getting off and not Namjoon. He let go of Namjoon’s hand to spread his own legs and pat on the warm bathroom floor between them for Namjoon to sit, which he did.

This was another position he rarely sat in, for many reasons, this meant that the person behind his head was right at Namjoon’s scent gland. Something that most people avoided, also the fact that Namjoon was so tall, which allowed Yugyeom to just fit right though.

For a moment they just sat there as it was like Yugyeom hesitated not sure that he could actually touch him until Namjoon leaned his head backwards on the younger's shoulder. “It’s okay, I promise I can still remember how to say no.”

That seemed to give Yugyeom the confidence he needed as he sneaked his hand under Namjoon’s shirt, which surprised the omega. He had kinda expected Yugyeom to go straight for his privates. But he let him do as he pleased, since Yugyeom probably knew more about this as Namjoon did.

Yugyeom’s hands were rough from the hours of dancing, how you roughed your hands up while dancing Namjoon never understood, but when those rough fingertips started circling Namjoon’s nipples under his shirt he relaxed more into Yugyeom’s grasp. He hadn’t even really started touching him yet, but it still felt so good especially when Yugyeom mumbled. “You look really good in my hoodie, you have these cute little sweater paws. We should start buying hoodies way too big for you as a standard so you could always be this cute. We could take turns wearing it before you so you smelled like us.” Yugyeom was right, he did smell like the undertone of Yugyeom’s butterscotch.

He started rolling the little knobs between his forefinger and thumb with gentle movement’s. “But then again, when your scent starts to come back to natural, I would be careful of your own clothes. Because some people are clothes stealing hoes. I don’t even think Youngjae has his own stuff anymore he just steals ours, I think he would look really cute in your stuff as well. Don’t you think so as well?” Namjoon just nodded, having his lower lip between his teeth worried that he would moan already, how could something so little as having his nipples touched feel so good?

“Don’t hold in your noises, we have nothing to hide. The rest is going to give us the space we want don’t worry, you can let them out.” Yugyeom’s voice was so hypnotising that Namjoon just did as he was told and let out a quiet slightly whiny moan. Which was rewarded with a kiss to the side of his head and a little bit more of the sweet scent of butterscotch coming from the alpha.

While one of Yugyeom’s hands swapped sides over to Namjoon’s other nipple he slowly ran down his chest, Yugyeom tried to focus on the warm and cute omega in his arms other than the fact that he could feel the olders ribs in a way that very much weren’t right. Slowly, oh so slowly worried about scaring Namjoon away from him he ran his hand down to Namjoon bulge, until he felt… Namjoon didn’t seem hard at all, which started warning flags in Yugyeom’s mind.

And he dropped the low tone he had been speaking to Namjoon in for a much more serious one. “Joonie if you aren’t into this it’s okay! You don’t have to force yourself.”

Namjoon just seemed confused, he had very much been enjoying what Yugyeom was doing. “I don’t understand, it feels good?”

“Namjoon you aren’t hard.”

And that was when Namjoon realized what had happened and he blushed even more than Yugyeom thought possible as he crossed his legs embarrassed. “I’m hard! I’m just… very small okay!”

That made Yugyeom embarrassed, he hadn’t meant to make Namjoon feel self conscious. He had just been so worried that even if he had gotten verbal consent it hadn’t been enough and he had crossed a line Namjoon wasn’t ready for. “Shit… Namjoon I’m sorry!”

Namjoon looked away blushing, he was on one hand a thinking adult and knew that Yugyeom had done the mature thing, and stopped what was going on when he thought something were up. On the other hand he was also just questioned on his dick size, “Can we uhm… not stop?”

That idea Yugyeom was more than up for it as he went back to where he was. Starting slowly with rubbing Namjoon’s nipples until he had the omega completely relaxed again him again, and then running has hand down to his bulge. This time he didn’t stop when he couldn’t feel him hard at first, but just rubbed him a little harder until he could feel it, yeah there it was. He slowly unzipped Namjoon’s pants when the omega had pushed his hips up to meet Yugyeom’s hand giving a clear sign of consent.

With a little bit of help from Namjoon he had managed to get both Namjoon jeans and boxers down to his thighs, and when it was done Yugyeom went back to his slow approach. Keeping everything he had ever been told about omega’s and people's first time. He remember how slow and careful Jinyoung had been with him, it had been his first rut and while it hadn’t spiked yet the older beta had helped him take the edge off. Letting him bite into Jinyoung arm to mute the sounds so the stagehands wouldn’t hear him. Jinyoung had talked him gently through it and when he had accidentally knotted his hands being too young to control it, Jinyoung had just kissed and cooed at him until it had fallen down and he could let go.

This was the kind of time he wanted to give Namjoon. Okay with less chance of getting caught by a stagehand yelling at them that they needed to get on the stage soon, but still like that soft and happy. With one hand still under Namjoon shoulder, he started rubbing up and down Namjoon’s tanned thighs. They were unnaturally thin for Namjoon who normally always had such full and good thighs, but Yugyeom ignored it just and reminded himself to sneak Namjoon more candy because this wasn’t okay! Namjoon’s thighs were his best features, other than his dimples… and smile… and that way he scrunched his face up when he was trying to be cute. That was beside the point!

Slowly Yugyeom ran his hand down to give his balls a light squeeze. They were small like Namjoon’s dick, but that was normal for omegas. They didn’t need to be able to release the same amount of sperm as an alpha, so it was natural that they had small balls. Namjoon’s cock was cute, almost angrily red begging to be touched, with the tip of the head sticking out his foreskin.

Yugyeom kinda wanted to suck him off, the good thing about sucking of omegas was that they in general had small dicks, making it easier to take all of them down his throat. Alphas and even sometimes betas had so stupidly large cocks for no reason at all!

The moan Namjoon let out was so cute and so not a sound Yugyeom had expected out of him. It was a whiny breathless moan coming from high in his throat the second Yugyeom touched his the tip of his cock spreading the precome over his tip at the same second that he pulled the foreskin down a little.

So okay yeah Yugyeom did find it really hot that he could close his hand and completely cover Namjoon’s erection. He let his fingers run down it in a teasing movement as more precome came to the tip and he kissed Namjoon softly right over his scent gland. “Can I scent you while I do it? It makes it feel better.”

Had it been anybody else he would just have done it, but this was Namjoon and he couldn’t just assume that he had consent. Luckily Namjoon nodded making Yugyeom burying his head in the place where his neck and shoulder met and his scent gland laid. He licked, nipped, and caressed the gland with his nose, and at this point Namjoon had given up trying to keep in his sounds.

Yugyeom could hear a movement right outside the door and he had a really good idea what was going on. But Namjoon seemed to gone to realize it, letting Yugyeom do another light bite sucking a mark over it, where he knew BTS would see it at practice. He made sure to not break skin but still leave his mark and scent of Namjoon as he speed up the jerking movement of of his hands. The hand that had been playing with Namjoon’s nipples had now instead went down to massage the now tight balls under his erection.

As Namjoon’s body tightened up, and Yugyeom could see that he was ready to cum. But it was like something was holding him back so hesitantly he licked over Namjoon’s scent gland one last time and mumbled into the tank skin. “Cum for me.”

And Namjoon did, right on cue did he cum. His hand tightened into the meat of Yugyeom’s hand as he whined the alpha’s name on his tongue. Namjoon was breathing heavily, his cum covering Yugyeom’s hand and his pretty little cock lying limp against his thigh. Yugyeom couldn’t stop himself from calling out. “Jackson you are being creepy.” and with that the door opened with Jackson standing a little ashamed outside the door, and a his hand down his pants with a dirty spot on it.

At first Namjoon was a little embarrassed, but as Yugyeom trying to shoo Jackson away to clean up the omega, Namjoon just giggled. “It’s okay.”

The two alphas helped him clean up, a job Namjoon could have done himself, but he liked the two alphas attention on him, and their small touches and soft words.

When they got into the kitchen Namjoon could see something was wrong as Jinyoung looked at him with worried eyes and his phone in hand. “I’m sorry it kept ringing so I went to turn it off, but it was your choreographer so I thought I would take it worried that they really needed you… Jungkook has hit Taehyung, and Jimin scratched up Jungkook’s neck and arm pretty bad. With both Hoseok and Yoongi still gone he had no idea who to call other than you… They have no idea where Taehyung is, and Seokjin went into a panic attack. They had to take him to the hospital since they couldn’t get him to breathe right.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kookie... what have you done now, keeping up with BTS next chapter!
> 
> Also, I kinda want you guys help if you have a little bit of time, for people who doesn't know it I work on around 10 writing projects at the same time, and while I don't publish all of them I am starting a new side project. KPOP HUNGERS GAMES!
> 
> So tl:dr there is a site that allows you to put in name and pictures and then it will simulate a hunger games version for you, I want to do that with kpop... So the idea is that I take 2 members of different kpop groups, and then I write the story from the simulation! That will make sure that there is no bias in the story at all, and my favorite wont win.  
> Here is what I need from you guys, which groups, which members and what district should it be so I need this filled
> 
> ALL DISTRICT HAVE NOW BEEN FILLED! GET READY TO SEE IF YOUR FAV SURVIVES!


	31. Baby, I can’t, I’m so bad that I want to be good to you but it’s hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is about as late as possible while still doing in monday? THIS GIRL! I had a guest lecture all day which means no laptop... yeaaah so happy :(
> 
> A few notes about last chapter:
> 
> It was Vanilla:  
> Yes, it was cause it was the first time somebody touched Namjoon without his cloth's on even if it was just pants... It will stay Vanilla for a while

“And why do you want to leave again?” Hakyeon asked looking over the baby alpha in front of him. Jungkook was sitting on the couch looking at the ground. He wasn’t in a good shape. Nail formed marks were sitting over his cheek and over the scent gland free side of his neck. Tear marks had dried over his cheeks, and his hands were shaking where they were lying in his lap.

“I already told you, I am happy for how much you have tried to help me, but it turns out that there is no helping me.”

Hongbin was watching with a sad look at Jungkook. “Why don’t you tell us the full story before we judge anybody. I’m sure it isn’t as bad as you are saying it is.”

Jaehwan and Taekwoon exchanged a glance behind everybody's back. A nod was exchanged as the omega got up and left to fetch something because both of them had a bad suspicion that they knew what really was going on. Jungkook started explaining what had happened at training.

It had been a hard training. Without Hoseok there the choreographer had more or less decided to make it hell for them, since apparently Hoseok was his favorite. For Jungkook it had been a pretty shitty day. He had a headache since he started taking his medicine and it refused to go away. Drenched in sweat he emptied the rest of his water bottle into his mouth, looking at it sadly when he noticed it was empty.

The thing was for some reason they didn’t drink tap water. It was a weird thing that Bang PD-nim had told them, Jungkook had never understood it, but he had followed the rule. The thing was that at that point to fill up his water bottle was across the building, and he couldn’t really imagine having to wonder all the way over there when there was a tap right outside the dance room.

He made sure that the choreographer was busy trying to make Seokjin’s body do the right moves, and then he sneaked out to fill up his bottle. Just because he was nice he grabbed both Jimin’s and Taehyung’s bottles as well since the rest of the maknae line looked just as thirsty as him. But none could really be fucked to walk all the way over to fill it up. Jungkook had almost felt like a jewel thief as he filled up the bottles and quickly went back into the room, throwing the bottles both to Jimin and Taehyung.

Jimin who was currently leaning against the mirror looked at Jungkook with a big smile. “You are a hero, did you run all the way to fill them? You were fast.”

Jungkook just shook his head unscrewing the lid on the bottle “Nah, I just filled them up from the tap, it’s a stupid rule as well.” Jimin just laughed patting him on the shoulder as the youngest brought the water bottle up to his mouth ready to take a big gulp and he was suddenly pushed by… Taehyung? This caused him to spill some of the precious water on his already sweat stained shirt.

“Taehyung what the fuck?” Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from half yelling out annoyed.

Taehyung’s eyes were almost wild and his words so hurried that they almost fell over each other. “We can’t drink water from there! You know we can’t drink from the tap!”

That confused Jungkook since Taehyung had never been the person to follow to rules that closely and Jungkook could feel his headache get worse and red to start squirming its way into his vision as he felt anger rise up inside him… No! That were supposed to be gone, the baby alpha shook his head focusing on the beta in front of him. “Other people drink from it! Just back off it’s fine! I’m dying here.”

Jungkook could feel the familiar tendrils of anger as he thought Taehyung would backoff now. He was wrong as he again brought up the bottle to his lips just to get pushed again by Taehyung, this time much harder causing Jungkook to spill more of the water on himself and almost fall on his ass. This time he couldn’t control the yelling. “TAEHYUNG WHAT THE FUCK?”

Normally Taehyung would back down when he felt Jungkook get angry, everyone other than Yoongi would back down from Jungkook’s anger. But this time he didn’t, his wild eyes weren’t focusing on Jungkook, but instead at the water bottle. With one precise strike he managed to knock Jungkook’s bottle out of his hand into the floor letting the tap water flow onto the floor. Jimin, Seokjin and their choreographer all held their breath looking at the two youngest members of BTS waiting for all hell to break out.

Which it did when Jungkook could no longer hold back the anger that was building inside him. The red of the alpha anger he thought he would never see again floated over his vision and took over his logic, and then he did something he never thought he would do. He took one step towards Taehyung and then hit him square in the jaw. Taehyung who hadn’t seem to have expected the hit at all, as he stumbled multiple steps back looking scared at Jungkook whose eyes had now gotten taken over completely by the alpha red.

Jungkook didn’t really know what was happening. He just knew that he was angry and Taehyung was the reason. Seokjin stood at the other end of the practice room and just froze. He couldn’t move or access his higher brain function, he was scared… No he were terrified of Jungkook, the snarl Jungkook’s face was put in didn’t fit his pretty features instead it looked like a distorted mask.

Luckily Jimin’s instincts kicked in when Jungkook took another step towards Taehyung who was now sitting on the ground looking up at Jungkook. The wild in his eyes gone and now just replaced with a look of true horror. Jimin just felt that Taehyung was in danger, and he needed to do something. While he normally would never stand up to an alpha like Jungkook and Yoongi when they were like this, but he had no choice. He half launched himself at Jungkook and did the first thing that came to mind, he scratched Jungkook right across the face, all thought of having to make sure not to hurt his face out.

Through the haze of alpha anger Jungkook felt the pain of the nail’s biting into his soft facial skin, but it wasn’t enough to rip him out of it. Then he felt another set of nails bite into the side of his neck and the pain was intense forcing him out of his alpha haze. He could feel how the nails had actually managed to draw blood and he let out a confused noise. Jimin had now stepped multiple steps away from him, blood still on his nails and Jungkook could feel how it was slowly gliding down his neck.

Then he focused on Taehyung who was still on the floor, looking at Jungkook like… like he was a monster. Jungkook reached out for Taehyung wanting to make it all better, wanting to explain that he hadn’t meant to hurt him! That he was just tired and exhausted, that he had to deal with a near constant headache and for some reason his alpha anger problems weren’t fixed by the medicine! He wanted to make it all up to Taehyung, but he didn’t succeed as the younger almost crap walked multiple steps backwards trying to get away from Jungkook with big confused and scared eyes.

And then suddenly he was up on his feet and he ran away?! He straight up ran away, out of the training room not even looking back on the members that he left behind. The glint in his eyes when he looked at Jungkook one last time showed that he was clearly still terrified of what had just happened.

Jungkook kinda just stood awkwardly in the middle of the room with his hand still reaching out for Taehyung who was no longer there, and then a lot of things happened at once. Seokjin fell to his knees and the choreographer was over him in the same second. Seokjin gasped out that he couldn’t breath and Jungkook had no idea what were happening. He took a step towards the beta on the ground, but then… Jimin hissed at him?

The omega looked just as surprised as Jungkook over what he had done. Like at first he didn’t really understand that the sound was actually really coming from him, but it did make Jungkook stop in his tracks ending in a staredown between the two dancers. Jimin’s eyes were hard and the normal friendly look in them were gone, and Jungkook knew what was happening. Jimin thought that he was going to hurt Seokjin! His instinct told him to protect, people always said that alphas were the protectors. But it was also very known to not cross an omega who were in protect mode. Jungkook was just confused and sad, he never wanted to hurt anybody! He just wanted to help!

They were ripped out of their staring contest when they heard a yell. “Call an ambulance now!”

That made Jimin move as he hissed out at Jungkook, “Go, now!” then quickly went for his phone to call the ambulance, while trying to calm Seokjin down the older man on the ground clutching at his throat and having panicked sporadic breaths and Jungkook did the only thing he could think of, he listened to Jimin and left the room.

“And that was what happened.” Jungkook explained back at the Vixx dorm, he had decided to walk home hood up ignoring the rain that was falling heavily at that point. When he had arrived at what he was currently calling home he was a mess. He had managed to keep his face mostly out the rain with the hood, but not dry as a mess of tears had decided to take over his features and the blood on his cheek and neck had stiffened. The rest of him was drenched in rain and when Hongbin had opened the door to let Jungkook in he had been scared out of his mind and it hadn’t been helped by Jungkook just saying. “I’m leaving… Turns out I can’t be helped.”

That was what led to where they were at that moment, Jungkook sitting on the couch retelling his tale refusing to look at any of them, currently flanked by the two betas both holding one of his hands helping him get over the periods of his tale where new tears took over him.

“You understand now, I can’t be helped, I was stupid for thinking it.”

That was when Jaehwan came back into the room with Jungkook’s pill bottle. “This is the ones you are taking right?” Jungkook just nodded as Jaehwan through the bottle to Taekwoon who looked it over. “We were right.” he mumbled not seeming to happy with it.

Jungkook just looked confused and sniffed on more, looking more like a little kid than an alpha capable of hitting anybody right at that moment. Hongbin gave his hand a soft squeeze feeling nothing but pure and almost violent sorrow for the alpha in that moment and Taekwoon started to explain. “At first we thought the medicine was just working really slowly, but you started getting mad at smaller and smaller things. While yes you were quick at trying to force the anger down again. It was a sign that the medicine wasn’t working and if anything it was making it worse. So we started googling around, and now that we look at the bottle… Jungkook they have given you the wrong bottle, this is for omegas… not alphas, that is why it has become worse.”

Jungkook for some reason didn’t feel relieved about this, he felt like he had gotten told that he had murdered a kindergarten class, but there were a logical reason to why he had done it. “I still hit Taehyung!”

Jaehwan tried to be the logical person. “I know you did, but it wasn’t really you. You are having issues, you just need to explain to him what happened. Get some new pills and then you are going to be okay. Jungkook it’s going to be okay, I promise you that when he know’s the truth he is going to forgive you, he could never be angry with you when he knows the truth.”

It still didn’t calm down Jungkook. “That doesn’t matter! I still hit him! I’m still a monster! I hit my own pack member!”

Sanghyuk tried to calm him down by lightly caressing his hand. “Nobody thinks of you like that.” But new tears streamed to the young alphas eyes as he couldn’t keep them in.

“I still hit him! We can never be square after that! I’m abusive.” Suddenly Jungkook felt himself getting hit right in jaw like he described how he hit Taehyung, and he looked confused at a very angry Wonshik who was now standing instead of sitting on the ground as he had when Jungkook got in.

“You want to be square! There! Now stop being a bitch and man up! What happened to being an ‘alpha’ as you told me about?” He clearly had enough of Jungkook’s pity party for himself and opened his mouth for another word vomit to exit it when Hakyeon took control.

“Take a walk Wonshik.” The younger omega looked like he wanted to argue, but the older just cut him off. “Now unless you want to sleep on the couch for an entire week.”

That didn’t seem to stop Wonshik to much, as the omega seemed to have more things he wanted to say, but now it was Taekwoon’s turn to speak up supporting their leader. “Go take a walk.” It was the closest Jungkook had ever heard to Taekwoon using an alpha voice, while it technically had no alpha order behind it and therefore had no effect on him it still made Wonshik stare at him almost insulted, before he seemed to decide that arguing with both his pack alpha and Vixx’s leader was a bad idea. So he just grabbed his running shoes and left.

Jungkook looked worried after him, since from his point of view Wonshik hadn’t really done something wrong. “It’s raining outside.” He mumbled sadly.

“Well that might help him calm down,” Hakyeon mumbled. “We apologize, but you have to understand that we like you, and it’s hard for us to hear a friend talk about himself like that.”

“I’m sorry but it’s the truth.” Jungkook understood what they were saying, but he also felt that they didn’t understand him.

Jaehwan bowed down in front of him, having gone to pick up a cold cloth in the kitchen lightly dabbing where Wonshik hit him. “But he has a point, if you wanted to be square that is it, you are square now. You need to focus on apologising and explaining what happened. You have made progress, I know you don’t see the progress because your own body is fighting against you, but you have to see it. This anger isn’t you and you have made good progress in seeing us as equals.”

Taekwoon and Hakyeon exchanged a conversation with only their eyes before Taekwoon spoke up. “I think you have learned your lesson, at this point we are doing more damage to you than good, by forcing you to stay alone. You can join us in the nest now, you understand what you did to Namjoon. Now it’s time for you to heal.”

Jungkook looked confused, and probably pretty pathetic as well. “But Wonshik said he didn’t trust me around omegas.”

Sanghyuk laughed lightly at that. “Wonshik likes to pretend that he is big and tough, he is really just a big sweetheart on the inside. Wonshik only has one sixth of the say in this pack, and the rest of us trust you. We just wanted you to see what it felt like being alone.”

The pack alpha still sat on the floor in the same position as he had when Jungkook had gotten here crying and bleeding his glance was soft as he looked at Jungkook. “Do you still want to leave? We won't force you to stay if you really don’t want to, but we would like to keep you around until you feel you have reached what you want to learn from us.”

At that moment Jungkook felt like was he was, an 18 year old kid that had been an alpha for less than 6 months and had been forced to grow up way too fast. “I would like to stay please” and with that he was almost violently attacked by a hug from both of the betas next to him.

“Of course you can! You are our new puppy!”

On the other side of the city at the Got7 dorms Namjoon was staring at the phone Jinyoung gave to him and sighed. He should have expected this to happen, somehow the BTS pack alway had a way of collapsing on itself when he was relaxing the most. “Thank you Jinyoung, I am going to go and uhm… deal with this.”

Mark was the one to grab his arm before he could leave. “You don’t have to hide away to do it, we know you are still the leader of BTS, just because they are also courting you doesn’t mean you have to hide the fact that they exist. You can be BTS leader while still being here with us, Kim Namjoon and Rap Monster doesn’t have to lead different lives.”

Namjoon looked actually relieved at Mark, he was worried that he would have to separate the two from each other feeling that it was weird dealing with it in front of them, worried that he would hurt their feelings. So he ended up sitting on the floor leaning his head back against Jackson’s thigh as he laid on the couch more or less half dead to the world while running his hand absently through Namjoon’s hair with a soft touch, in Namjoon’s lap was BamBam head.

The younger Got7 member in his lap had playfully bit his thigh through his sweats, before Namjoon had lightly slapped him on the shoulder for him to behave while he made his calls, his first call was for Seventeen. The thing was as BTS leader, he knew a lot more about where his members and everybody around them were at all times. While Yoongi might not have cared that much where his betas spend their nights. Namjoon cared where his vocalist were. He knew that Taehyung spent a lot of time with Seventeen, feeling very at home with the members near his age plus Taehyung liked that there were so many members… Taehyung always loved being surrounded by people.

Doing a quick thought experiment, he tried to decide who were least likely to sit with Taehyung so he didn’t interrupt something. Seungkwan was the person he ended up calling and instead of answer with hello and a respectful ‘Namjoon-hyung’ as he normally got from the younger omega he got. “This has to stop, my heart is not meant for seeing him cry.”

Namjoon just sighed. “I wasn’t there when it happened,” then he thought over it and sighed of course… he was in the hospital and Taehyung were there… Of course how could he have been so forgetful. “How bad is it?”

“He won’t let any of the alphas near him, Namjoon-hyung he is terrified and at this point I think Jihoon is going to start crying himself he can’t help him. We can’t get out of him what happened? Did an alpha fan touch him or something? He had what looked to be a hit mark on his face.”

Of course the face Jungkook really classy. “It’s a long story and I don’t know all of it, but it was Jungkook who hit him, they had some kind of argument and fight.”

Seungkwan sighed. “We got him, and we are going to make sure that he is okay, do you want to text your manager or?”

Namjoon sighed just as heavily as Seungkwan. “I will do it, you think he will be okay for practice tomorrow?”

“If you keep him away from Jungkook yeah probably, his main issues seem to be alphas right now… You know about the omega issue right?”

“I don’t know the full story, but yes I know the issues. It’s Taehyung’s story to tell me, but I will move stuff around so he is mostly be in vocal where he can be alone with Minnie.”

Seungkwan made a weird noise not seeming to happy having Taehyung with another omega, but it was clear that his want for Taehyung to be safe and happy won over. “Okay, we will find a way to escort him there and pick him up again. He is staying with us, and with all the respect in the world… I don’t care what you think of it.”

Namjoon didn’t argue with him just agreed before hanging up. He knew that Seventeen was attached to Taehyung, but something told him it was a lot deeper than just friendship which made him sigh sadly. Nothing good would ever come out of this. The only way Taehyung would leave the BTS pack for them were if the pack dissolved, and that would never happen. Even if Taehyung was sad and no longer loved them anymore he would stay, because that was the kind of guy he was, he was faithful like a puppy.

Jaebum sat down next to him as Namjoon stared at his phone gently kissing his cheek. “Everything is going to be okay Joonie I promise, and if you need somebody to talk to… we are here for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of doing a shorter chapter to fill out what is happening in the group chat between all the pack's courting Namjoon...
> 
> In the on going saga of what is wrong with Prussia this week:  
> I have started to suffer from sleep paralysis and have now scared my body so much that it's afraid of going to sleep... DON'T OPEN YOUR EYES UNDER SLEEP PARALYSIS! IT'S NOT A JOKE WHEN THEY SAY THAT!!!
> 
> Also if you want to talk to me or just seeing what I'm doing
> 
>  
> 
> [My personal Tumblr!](http://prussiankpop.tumblr.com/)  
> [My writing Tumblr!](http://rofics.tumblr.com/)


	32. After you left, it ain't the same I'm not what I used to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is late... I know... I were at my cousins birthday all day... So yeah... Yeah... this is late... And short!
> 
> Few notes from last chapter:
> 
> The medicine,  
> I realize that I did a horrible job in explaining what Jungkook actually got from medicine. So here it is:  
> It is basically vitamins, where most people who take it really doesn't need that much some people need so much that it changes their entire life to get it! But it is still not required to get at recept for it. That is what it is for Jungkook, and he has accidentally gotten the one for omegas.
> 
> The 'I thought Jungkook were getting better':  
> His mind were, if you go back and read you can specifically see that yes his mindset is getting better, but not the anger. Think specifically how he went for Wonshik's face,
> 
> The 'Aren't you soon done torturing them':  
> No... Just no, there is a lot of side story lines soon to be reveal as well... Lesson of the day... fuck SM.

The next call that Namjoon made were for Wonshik, he knew that Jungkook would be there now and Wonshik were the member that he was closest with personally. When the other omega picked up the phone Namjoon could hear the rain falling “Wonshik-hyung what are you doing outside?”

“I got told to take a walk, also known as I got on Hakyeon’s bad side and Taekwoon is whipped.” he grumbled as it sounded like he seeked shelter for the hard rain.

Namjoon sighed as he leaned his head back into Jackson’s thigh and BamBam kissed in his thigh through his jeans, clearly able to feel have Namjoon’s whole body language tightened up, Namjoon rewarded him with a light pet on his hair which he leaned into like a cat “That means you don’t know where Jungkook is?”

“He is fine he is with us, jesus christ Namjoon, do you guys run a brain watching cult behind closed doors? Or did nobody think of sitting Yoongi down and telling him he is fucked in the head?” well Wonshik always did seem to get to the point, but he also seemed to regret his hard words “Shit I’m sorry, it isn’t right to take out my frustrations on you, you suffered just as much as Jungkook did. But I think we have all gotten attached to the brat,” he sighed “I thought we had made progress, but it turned out the the pharmacy gave him the wrong medicine, he got the one for omega’s as well. I failed to notice that while his mindset was getting better his anger was just as bad as before.”

That made Namjoon relax a little, that meant there were reason behind what happened and it wasn’t just Jungkook that were fucked in the head behind measure “I think we were all just happy pretending that everything were okay, our pack.. No that is wrong, their pack. It was fragile, it had always been so, it like… If we removed one stone we knew that everything would crumble, and sadly my hospital trip were that stone, i think everybody were and still is afraid of what comes out on the other side. Did you guys get out of Jungkook what happened?”

Wonshik quickly caught him up on everything Jungkook had said before he sighed again “the marks on his neck might scar, Jimin really put his strength to it.”

Namjoon closed his eyes leaning against Jackson’s thigh while the older alpha combed lightly through his hair in a calming movement, the thing was that while Namjoon were technically not part of the pack he were still the leader of BTS, and he still had duty to perform and these people were his close friend’s that meant everything to him “Taehyung is terrified of alpha’s right now, but he is safe I already made sure of that. I’m going to call our manager and get him to move stuff around so him and Jungkook don’t have to see each other at first, I should hopefully be okay to go in tomorrow and then I will talk with everybody and see if I can fix this. I know that you are demonizing Yoongi, but he really isn’t that bad, he is a little misunderstood, but he never wanted anything but the best for us.”

That was when Wonshik’s voice got even more serious “how are you tho, I promise you Jungkook and Taehyung are going to be okay, but you are jumping into leading again very fast how are you.”

Namjoon looked around the room, he wanted to tell how he had a hard time with alpha’s in general, but it didn’t feel like the right thing to say with 3 alpha’s in the room, but Jackson’s lazy hand in his hair patted gently once more “You can tell him,” he mumbled, clearly having been listening with half an ear.

Namjoon looked relieved at the older alpha, before returning back to his call with Wonshik “It’s complicated, I… I don’t hate myself anymore, there are moments where I want to crush a mirror” It was clear now that everybody in the room paused what they were doing to listen to Namjoon’s phonecalll, which now that Namjoon thought of it actually made sense, he had never really told them how he felt, normally tried to avoid it. He prefered to look strong and like he could take everything on himself “Alpha’s are an issue for me, even tho I know they would never hurt me, my body and subconscious raises all defense around them. It is worse around the alpha’s who are more traditionally alpha, but it’s still bad.”

“Is it something you can fight past and still be normal around them, or is to bad.” Wonshik asked softly.

“I can fight past it, I need to remind my mind that it’s being stupid and nobody would ever hurt me.”

“Fuck Yoongi,” Wonshik mumbled to himself, but quickly picked up before Namjoon could defend the small BTS rapper “I think distance is good for everybody in the BTS pack, many of your members were very young when they joined the pack, just give everybody a few months to find themselves and remember who they are without the pack, there is a reason that most older members refuse to give the maknae lines the bite early, you can quickly end up with refusing them exploration of themselves.”

“Are you saying that the pack should breakup,” Namjoon asked almost disturbed, that had never crossed his mind.

Wonshik just sighed again, this time more playful “You do always go to the most extreme don’t you? That is not what I’m saying, the pack should stay and be just as strong as always. What I’m saying is that everybody should have the chance to find who they are as people without the pack, most of them doesn’t have friends outside of the pack Namjoon. Everything we could get out of Jungkook was that he used to hang out with Yugyeom, but that broke for reasons. Everybody needs friends and a support system outside of their pack. It took me 4 months to convince Taekwoon that I were actually ready for the bite, you are meant to get it the day you present!”

The oldest omega left out the part where he meant that it was all Yoongi’s fault and that the alpha lived in the past where yes you got the bite on your birthday, but Namjoon… no everybody seemed blind to Yoongi’s fault, silly BTS.

Namjoon didn’t really want to admit that Wonshik had a point instead he just sighed “you might have gotten your way anyway, Jimin spent his heat with Exo and Taehyung is with Seventeen right now.”

“It’s going to be good for them Joonie, just trust me they will comeback as stronger people and know who they are. It’s good for them and they need friends.”

“Just… be gentle with Kookie please? He is a good kid.”

Wonshik just laughed lightly “You know that they are courting you right? Calling him a kid isn’t really the was to express that you see him as a possible mate,” that coursed Namjoon to blush a deep red color on his already tanned skin.

“That was not what I meant!”

“I know, I’m just teasing. I’m going to go now, see if I will actually be let back in at home, or I’m still in the dog house, and I promise we are going to be good to him.” and with that Wonshik hung up and left Namjoon to just look at his phone a little pouting, it was not what he had meant!

A text came in that second:

 **From unknown number to Kim Namjoon, 21:38  
** I kinda want to see pictures of the dog! I sent you to a place with a dog and you didn’t send me pictures! This is treason!

Namjoon looked disturbed at the phone, this was his private number and he couldn’t remember giving it to anybody, and not for that person to ‘send’ him somewhere, he was a little hesitant to answer, but in the end he did with BamBam looking up at him with a grin, while he clearly wanted to see what Namjoon was doing he also knew that looking at other peoples text’s were rude.

 **From Kim Namjoon to unknown number 21:39**  
Excuse me who is this?

The answer was almost instant like the person on the other end had been sitting and waiting for the answer.

 **From unknown number to Kim Namjoon 21:39**  
Oh! I forgot didn’t I? Seungri!  
  
**From unknown number to Kim Namjoon 21:39  
** From BigBang!

 **From unknown number to Kim Namjoon 21:39**  
Daesung’s group!

At each text came in Namjoon felt more and more awkward, did Seungri really not think that Namjoon knew who he were without having to specific which group it were and then even more having to say that it was Daesung’s group! Who didn’t know BigBang?! IT WAS BIGBANG!

 **From Kim Namjoon to BigBang Seungri-Sunbaenim 21:40  
** I am so sorry Seungri-sunbaenim, but where have you gotten my number from?

Namjoon felt really weird about the fact that Seungri were texting him! IT WAS SEUNGRI! From Big Bang! A group Namjoon looked up to! So yeah, he had had conversations with Daesung, and he had said that he wanted to help Namjoon, but this was so weird.

 **From BigBang Seungri-Sunbaenim to Kim Namjoon 21:40  
** Hyung! Sunbaenim makes me feel old! And that is not my job in this group! And Daesung gave me your number!

 **From BigBang Seungri-Sunbaenim to Kim Namjoon 21:41  
** Technically I took it from his phone, but he didn’t tell me not to and it weren’t locked.

 **From BigBang Seungri-Sunbaenim to Kim Namjoon 21:41**  
Okay so it were locked and I used his finger to unlock it while he slept, but he didn’t tell me I shouldn’t do it.

 **From BigBang Seungri to Kim Namjoon 21:42  
** Okay so Youngbae told me not to, but that technically weren’t about Dae’s phone.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling at every message, and it was clearly harder and harder for BamBam to not look at what was going on, so Namjoon showed him the message which coursed a cascade of things.

First BamBam started laughing at the message’s and then he could just gaped like a fish “Seungri? FROM BIGBANG!?”

And that made every member of Got7 focus on him, and they all looked like Namjoon felt… like a giddy school girl that senpai had finally noticed, it was first another text from Seungri that brought him back to the world

 **From BigBang Seungri-Sunbaenim to Kim Namjoon 21:50**  
Are you ignoring me?  >-< >-<

Followed of by multiple stickers of dogs in teacups, cause of course! BamBam just looked at Namjoon like he had grown horns “Since when do you have contact with BigBang? And why didn’t you tell me?!”

Namjoon just awkwardly looked down on the ground “Daesung-hyung came to see me in the hospital, he wanted to talk to me about making sure that I let myself be courted by other packs.” He decided not to tell them about how Daesung had told what had happened to himself, that was the older omega’s own story to tell the world “and then I talked on the phone with him and Seungri, it was actually Seungri who came up with the order of who I should stay with first.”

“So he just text’s you sometimes… and Daesung-sunbaenim wants to more or less mentor you, I need to go and lie down! How could you not how told us this?!”

Before Namjoon managed to answer another text beeped in on his phone.  
  
**From BigBang Seungri-Sunbaenim to Kim Namjoon 21:57**  
I can see you are reading these!!  >-<!! Did you find the thing I left behind?

“He left something in your house?” BamBam were now sitting in Namjoon’s lap instead reading along on his phone “this is amazing! How can you even text him, I would be to scared to even try! I swear at an award ceremony I walked past G Dragon and almost fainted, how can you talk to them!”

Jackson who had now half woken up from his nap not really a nap looking at what happened “You should answer him, he doesn’t seem like to type to just accept that you are ignoring him.” he lied his head back down and started playing with Namjoon’s hair again, clearly Jackson was more or less dead after dance training today.

Namjoon quickly went on to type a message to Seungri attaching a photo of Rap Mon sleeping on Mark across the room.

 **From Kim Namjoon to BigBang Seungri-Hyung 22:04  
** I’m sorry, I’m sitting in the living room and a lot is going on atm, did you need anything?

 **From BigBang Seungri-Hyung to Kim Namjoon 22:07**  
Nope we are just rerecording the same song for the 12th time and will probably do it 500 times mores before we get this album out because Ji is a devil from hell.

 **From BigBang Seungri-Hyung to Kim Namjoon 22:08**  
AND DOGGIE!  
  
**From BigBang Seungri-Hyung to Kim Namjoon 22:09  
** We can’t have a dog.  
  
**From BigBang Seungri-Hyung to Kim Namjoon 22:09**  
Cause I accidentally killed our fish… and then that means we can’t have a dog.  
  
It turned out that Seungri were the type of texter that refused to put what he wanted to say into one message instead spreading it over as many as possible, and it made Namjoon giggle a little, he could clearly see why Seungri were the moodmaker of BigBang, he were genuinely funny even when he weren’t trying to,

 **From Kim Namjoon to BigBang Seungri-Hyung 22:11  
** I haven’t seen what you left or me, I left right after I talked with the two of you, I am currently at Got7’s place.

 **From BigBang Seungri-Hyung to Kim Namjoon 22:12  
** Oh… I should leave you to it then… Text me when you find it! Oh and when you see what is inside the puzzle box, I’m curious! Or if you are bored!

 **From Kim Namjoon to BigBang Seungri-Hyung 22:13  
** I will I promise! Thank you for looking after me Seungri-hyung!

All he got back was a few more stickers if tiny panda’s in teacups and then silence, leaving both him and BamBam to giggling.

After that Namjoon had one more uncomfortable phone call to make… To Jimin.

He picked up at the first ring and Namjoon awkwardly moved a little from side to side where he was sitting, now with BamBam hanging on him like a panda. It should be uncomfortable, but BamBam’s lips resting against his pulse were calming more than anything, it made him feel grounded as Jimin asked in the other end “Joonie?”

You didn’t even need to know Jimin very well to be able to hear just how shaken he were by his voice only “Hey Minnie,” he almost whispered into the phone, he had missed Jimin, “How are you holding on?”

Jimin took a deep breath from the other end, he knew that he couldn’t tell Namjoon about how he felt like he was falling apart, how he had scrubbed his hands almost to blood trying to get Jungkook’s blood gone from under his fingernails, he needed to be strong right now even if he felt as far away from strong as possible “It’s okay” he whispered back, he held Seokjin’s hand and gently caressed it  while talking on the phone “Jinnie is going to be okay, it was nothing major just a panic attack, they are just keeping him overnight for observation, I called Hoseok already. He is going to be staying a couple of night’s with some friends he meet at support group that is why he weren’t there, he said that it helped him accept stuff.”

Jimin wanted to question why a stranger was easier for Hoseok to trust than his own pack, but he didn’t cause somehow he could understand it, he thought back to the conversation he had with Junmyeon right before he left the Exo dorm, it really wasn’t that hard to believe, he still hadn’t told BTS about how he felt, Namjoon on the other end of the line didn’t know how to feel ,but he then thought about what Wonshik had said

“I think space could be good for you guys, for everybody. You will still see each other everyday while we are working, but Jimin who is your closest friend outside of BTS.” the way that Jimin hesitated before answering in a small voice ‘Baek…’ but the tone he said it clearly showed that he weren’t really that sure in it.

“That’s the issue Minnie, your mate’s are also your only close friend’s, we all need friends. So Jungkook is staying with Vixx for a while, but you knew that, they are helping him feel better. Tae is with some friends, and Hoseok is with some friends. It’s okay for you to go and spend time with friends, find out who you are as a person outside of BTS.”

As Namjoon’s soft voice filled him Jimin almost wanted to cry, Namjoon cared so fucking much about them and they had treated him badly. Why was it that they had treated him so badly? Jimin just kinda wanted to hug Namjoon, but since he couldn’t he instead just mumbled “You are right, but you deserve to be happy to, I look forward to seeing you at training, and tell whoever you are with to treat you right or I will kick their ass!”

Namjoon just giggled, even tho he knew that the happiness in Jimin’s voice weren’t real it was nice to feel Jimin have some of his spirit back “I will, and you get some sleep as well.” and then he hung up.

He weren’t really sure if he felt better or worse after the call, he just felt confused, he weren’t sure what the right answer were, but as BamBam presses a light kiss to his pulse and Jackson twirled a tot in his now arguably a little bit to long purple hair he thought that maybe the right answer could wait, Jimin was right… He deserved to be happy for a little bit as well, as he lightly pulled BamBam’s face a little bit up to kiss the younger omega.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact, I am going to Germany tomorrow with my housemates, cause in Denmark it is cheaper to go to another country and buy candy, alcohol and softdrink than it is to buy it at home... cause logic.
> 
> And as always, if you want to talk to me or just see what I am up to:
> 
>  
> 
> [This is my personal Tumblr!](http://prussiankpop.tumblr.com/)  
> [And this is my writing Tumblr!](http://rofics.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> And we will see each other again on Monday! Until then! Request Friday is coming up, and I have some Seokjin x Namjoon x Jackson smut to write!


	33. I may be obviously falling till the end but I'm alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAH!!!! 40k hits! THIS IS INSANE!
> 
> I know I don't thank you guys enough! BUT Thank you so much! We have hit some really big milestones lately! Longer than prisoner of Azkaban! Over 600 people have subscribed to it! And jesus christ over 2000 kudos!
> 
> I can't explain how much you guys support mean to me, and it has been insane to see this story grow from something I thought nobody would ever read to this! Every single one of you mean the world to me, even ghost readers who haven't subscribed or left a comment/kudos! I'm still happy that people enjoy this!

The rest of the evening went pretty relaxed for Got7 and Namjoon. It was how Namjoon expected that most nights with Got7 was. The banter was light and at least 2 members were half sleeping exhausted of the long day of training. Tonight those two members were Jackson who had decided that the world was out to get him and passed out on the couch ignoring the rest of the world.

The other were surprisingly enough Jinyoung, but Namjoon had an idea that might be caused by the gentle hand movement of Jaebum who he was sleeping on. The Got7 pack alpha had taken to reviewing their schedule for the next day while gently petting the beta who was lying on his chest watching the movie, and by then the gentle petting became too much for him leading to the disturbingly cute image of the two vocalists on the couch.

Almost 30 minutes after Namjoon’s phone call with Jimin, BamBam was pulled away from his current pastime of playing a koala on Namjoon to instead being pulled away by a very insistent Yugyeom. Which made Namjoon realize the reason for it the blush and looked over at Mark who was very intensely playing a game of candy crush. “Shouldn’t you?” He awkwardly pointed towards the door where the two youngest Got7 members had hid behind.

Mark just laughed. “That game of teasing and denial is BamBam’s job not mine. I will play along, but it’s not my kink.” Again Namjoon blushed, so yes it was a joke that he was a perv, and yes he had watched porn before, but it was mostly a joke between all of the members of BTS from before they had become a pack.

Since Namjoon had always been a dud, the world had hid all sexual activities from him. He was treated like somebody who hadn’t presented yet. So it was completely new to him that people actually talked so openly about it around him. He looked confused at Mark. It wasn’t that he didn’t knows what those things were, he weren’t an idiot. But he always expected Mark to be the kind of guy who was fan of slow and teasing. “I don’t believe you.”

Mark looked actually impressed at Namjoon for speaking up and it got Youngjae’s attention as well who seemed to instantly understand what was going on. “That is because he is full of shit!” Youngjae laughed. “He loves teasing! He just gives in to Yugyeom way to fast.”

The oldest member of Got7 didn’t look to happy about getting called out. “It’s not my fault! You are all just as soft for him as I am!”

Jaebum laughed lightly disturbing the other sleeping vocalist, but quickly falling back asleep by the still gentle hand movement. When the alpha spoke he kept his voice soft as to not disturb the sleeping male. “Everybody is weak for Yugyeom that is just how it works, it’s magical maknae power.” Namjoon giggled a little, Jaebum had a point it seemed that in every group people were in general weak for the Maknae. That was the reason why Zelo got away with as much shit as he did, and a reason why the rest of of BTS would probably forgive Jungkook. Even if he went berserk and murdered a baby cow with a spoon and they would still love him.

It was decided that it was ready for bedtime when Mark accidentally dropped his phone on his face from being tired and Jaebum got worried that they would have to deal with more phone injuries.

When they went to the nest Yugyeom and BamBam were already sleeping and surprisingly enough cleaned and dressed. Which Namjoon hadn’t actually expected, but pleasingly surprised.

As they all got ready for bed and laid down Jaebum and Jinyoung were back to cuddling. Mark just kinda collapsed on the edge of the bed away from most people. Which as Jackson took his spot behind Namjoon to spoon him made him feel a little (a lot) uncomfortable. Had he been hogging Jackson’s attention. He had always been so used to having Jackson almost glued to his back when they were cuddling, but if he had to try and be in the Got7 pack he was no longer the guest and he couldn’t just take all the attention for himself. He needed to share.

He turned a little in Jackson’s arms and said in a low voice so not to wake the rest of the pack. “You should go and sleep over there.” He pointed vaguely towards Mark, not wanting to specify that he wanted the older to go and cuddle with the other omega. Mark hated when other people asked stuff for him, but he looked so lonely lying alone.

Jackson just looked weirdly at Namjoon. He felt like he was getting told to fuck off in the kindest of ways. He wanted to argue but he also knew that he needed to give Namjoon space, he might not like cuddling all the time. The older alpha just nodded before crawling over to lie closer to Mark where Namjoon had pointed.

Youngjae flopped himself down in front of Namjoon cuddling his face into the chest of the omega. Namjoon smelled nice, a little weak… but nice. “Something wrong?” He mumbled looking up at the older.

Said omega just looked weird at Youngjae. “No should something be wrong?” The words were a little slurred as Namjoon was somehow tired.

“You sent Jackson away,” Youngjae looked a little worried at the older male, “are you two fighting?”

Namjoon woke up a little at that. “Of course not, I just… I have been hogging his attention and felt like it was unfair that I should give him a chance to actually be with the rest of you instead of being selfish, and Mark looked lonely.”

That was when Youngjae realized that they had forgotten something very important when they brought Namjoon into their pack. They had forgotten to tell him of how dynamics and other casual things like that worked. Namjoon was no longer a guest. “Joonie shit, I am so sorry, we never really told you did we? Mark sometimes needs space, when he chooses to sleep away from us, we know that he need the space. Also we have more or less have our own sleeping spots and Mark just joins whoever he feels like. BamBam and Yugyeom are sleeping together mostly, because Yugyeom has no problem with BamBam just sprawling over him and half lying on top of him all night, he finds it kinda cute. How getting crushed is cute, don’t ask me it. Jaebum and Jinyoung sleep together. Since they are the one who get up the earliest and they are actually married at this point, plus the scent of a beta is more calming than the scent of omegas. And then there is me and Jackson, I am the person who likes scenting the most and have no issues with it when he half does it asleep, and he lets me scent him without question.”

Now Namjoon felt like shit and he looked away from Youngjae sadly. “I’m sorry… I just… I didn’t want to take all the attention, and… I just wanted to share.”

Youngjae kissed him easily under the jaw before stretching to kick Jackson who was curled up a little away from them. At first he didn’t get any reaction, the second time he did it Jackson looked at them offended, but that got removed to that of a happy puppy when Youngjae made a head movement for him to join them. The alpha happily flopped down behind Namjoon and gathered the bigger omega up in his arms. “You aren’t mad at me?”

The eager and happy voice of Jackson made Namjoon feel even worse. “I just thought I was hogging all your attention for myself and by then taking you away from the rest of the pack, I’m sorry.” Namjoon intertwined his fingers with Jackson’s under his shirt shortly until Youngjae whined quietly.

“I want cuddles as well!” Which caused Namjoon to laugh a little, and with a light pat on his tummy him and Jackson managed to change how everybody was lying. Youngjae ended up in the middle cuddled by both the alpha and the omega, and as they fell asleep the last thought on Namjoon’s mind were… he could get used to this. Sleeping surrounded by all the scents warm and happy, yeah he could get used to this.

Namjoon had no idea how long he actually slept, but when he slowly got pulled out of the haze of sleep the pleasure around his scent gland was intense. Namjoon couldn’t keep a moan in when somebody sucked a hickey into his skin right next to it, before letting a very eager tongue run over it to sooth it. Namjoon didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was, the soft scent of white chocolate was enough to make it clear that it was Youngjae.

“Youngjae?” He mumbled, not able to give enough of a fuck to open his eyes. It was only the second time since he became an adult that he was scented, and it was so nice. Even though he knew that his own scent was still to weak meaning that he couldn’t smell his own scent of peaches and cream getting mixed with Youngjae’s white chocolate, it was still nice. There was one problem though, he was getting turned on more than he would like to admit.

“Morning Joonie.” Youngjae was now rubbing his face into Namjoon’s scent gland seeming more determined to actually spread his scent on Namjoon instead of the licking and sucking he had been doing before.

Namjoon could feel himself waking up more and more. “What are you doing?” His voice was a little more breathy and whiny than it normally was. He knew that scenting was something deeply sexual most of the time and after you presented your scent gland got extremely sensitive, but he never knew it was like this. When Jackson had scented him earlier it was a lot more innocent, it had no sexual undertones. This… does.

Youngjae just laughed a little. “You don’t like it? It is one of my favorite ways to wake up people.” Namjoon remembered what Yugyeom had told him, that Youngjae loved scenting. And as he slowly woke up more and more he started becoming aware and that was when something hit him.

“Can I try and scent you to?” He let out a low moan when Youngjae nipped right under the scent gland.

The two were still lying on their sides with Youngjae happily making a mess out of him, but when Namjoon asked he pulled himself away a little. “Yes! How would you prefer to do this, me on top or you?”

“You.” He instantly said, as he didn’t want to crush the younger beta with his weight. Youngjae just nodded rolling Namjoon over onto his back even if the omega really didn’t need the help. He pulled off his shirt to give Namjoon even better access and he grabbed Namjoon’s hand lightly making him lightly run his fingers over Youngjae’s scent gland while he straddled him. “So this is where the scent gland is, each person has a different style of doing it. Some people just rub their face against it. I like to tease around the area first, either with my tongue, teeth or lips. Don’t ever put your teeth on the scent gland, it is not meant for that and unless you have perfect control and know the other person’s body perfectly you can easily hurt somebody.”

Youngjae bowed down a little presenting his neck to Namjoon, and for the first time in his life he felt this deep need run through him. It wasn’t the same as sexual need, god knows he had felt that more than a few times, but this was the need to mark and rub his scent on Youngjae to make the younger carry his scent instead.

At first he was careful as he placed a light kiss high on Youngjae’s throat wanting to go slowly. But the beta didn’t seem to agree with him as he ran his hair through Namjoon’s hair getting a soft grasp on the dyed locks before leading Namjoon’s head to his scent gland. “Don’t worry I promise I won’t break.”

He remembered what Jaebum had told him about making sure he was still being slow and not overwhelming Namjoon. But yesterday had also proved to him that they couldn’t hide from Namjoon who they were. Courting was yes about showing the best part of yourself, but it was also about showing what being part of the pack was, they all needed to show Namjoon who they really were, the good and the bad parts.

Namjoon went with Youngjae’s movements easily taking directions from the younger beta. Youngjae had to admit that those lips were not disappointing as they at first tried to suck a mark low on his throat not able to get the act right at first, but making up for it with eagerly trying again. When Namjoon finally placed a soft kiss right above Youngjae’s scent gland he was completely scent drunk. He felt like he was floating and it was amazing! How did people not do this all the time? The feeling of being completely surrounded by the beta’s scent was so amazing. Youngjae was a little on the sweeter side for a beta scent, but it was so him, it was unique and completely him!

At this point Youngjae had completely given up on trying to hold back the noises and focused on giving Namjoon just a good of a scenting that he was getting. It was kinda adorable to see how easily the older get scent drunk. He was like a pup scenting for the first time, but then again… Namjoon kinda was a little pup scenting the first time, an adorable not very little pup.

Namjoon tried to focus on the scenting and not the growing problem in his sleep shorts. When Youngjae gave in to a very insistent hickey right under his jaw he couldn’t keep himself from pushing his hips up to Youngjae’s getting rewarded with a breathy moan from the beta.

No matter how much scent he managed to put on Youngjae some part of him still didn’t feel that it was enough and his hands had found a place to Youngjae’s hips ripping his inner wrists against the hipbone rubbing his scent on the private area.

Youngjae knew that in some part of his mind he should stop this, make sure that Namjoon was completely okay with this. He should stop it, he should be the adult, but it had been such a long time since anybody who wasn’t Jackson had been this into a good round of scenting. Youngjae forced their body to roll in the big nest so suddenly Namjoon was on top of him instead giving Youngjae the option to now grab at the olders hips.

It was a little disturbing how easy it was for him to turn around the much taller. But he knew that his concern about Namjoon’s weight had to wait a little. Namjoon himself didn’t actually seem to notice that much changed as he went back to marking up the most of Youngjae’s neck. He knew he was overdoing it, but he had 3 years of instinct that had been held down that just wanted to mark and rub his scent on the beta under him.

Youngjae had moved his hands to now be on Namjoon hips instead lightly guiding the grinding they were doing against each other, while eagerly giving as good as he was getting. Even though Namjoon’s scent was still weak and not as strong at it should be, he had still managed to get Namjoon to release buckets of the sweet scent that hung around him. It matched so well with his own scent. Namjoon’s scent was like BamBam’s who were both fruits fit so well with his own chocolate that it were insane. Youngjae just wanted to bathe in it! It was simply amazing, even more when one specific thrust upwards made Namjoon release a loud moan that he was sure could be heard outside of the nest.

He had never guessed that Namjoon would be vocal in bed. With his rapper persona and sometimes hard as hell he would almost assume he was like Jackson who rarely did more than grunt unless he let his mouth run with the most filthy words able to leave them.

Instead he was like Yugyeom, he seemed to surrender control of his body just focusing on scenting while trusting Youngjae to guide him in the right way, way to scent drunk to even think of the whiny breathy moans that left his mouth.

Youngjae almost wished that it could last forever. That this would never have to end, but he could also feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. As Namjoon did one bite over where Youngjae’s pack bite was located was enough to push him over the edge while memories of that night played behind his eyes. That seemed to be enough for Namjoon as well who only a few seconds later followed Youngjae over the edge before collapsing half on top of him.

Had Youngjae not been so gone in his high he would probably have thought about the fact that he couldn’t really feel Namjoon’s weight at all, but he let it slide both males breathing heavily trying to catch their breath with heads spinning and Namjoon being more than a little scent drunk.

When he finally got to himself he couldn’t stop himself from whining out loud. “Why does all of my sexual encounters end with me coming in my pants? This is not normal!”

On the other end of the house BamBam was looking at the scent locking bag. Many times it was meant if a pack member had to leave their pack for a while and prefered to keep the packs scent with them, but BamBam could recognize the hoodie through the clear plastic bag. He had seen multiple members of Block B wear it before, but that wasn’t what actually made him stop and look at it, it was normal for Namjoon to want to keep people’s scent around and BamBam was okay about. It was the fact that he could see that the inside of the hoodie had a little mark that said ‘Kim Namjoon’ in almost faint sharpie.

He didn’t really know how he knew, but he knew that this was a very old hoodie that used to belong to Namjoon, and that was when it kinda hit him. That while it felt like they had an advantage since leading up to it, they had spent the most time with Namjoon, but that truth was that… Every pack had a very good reason why Namjoon should pick them.

Block B was the only pack that Namjoon had known longer than he had known BTS. Namjoon had still been a kid hanging around Zico when he got put into Block B, even if they had been busy lately, there were no way to deny that they were simply the pack Namjoon knew the best. And they had mostly betas which seemed to work much better with Namjoon.

Then there were B.A.P. Even the fans knew how close he was with Yongguk, and through all the struggles that they had nobody could relate to Namjoon better than they could. Zico the person everybody thought would be an alpha turning out to be an omega could support Namjoon in ways that nobody else could.

Monsta X… they were different than most rogue element of the packs, but they also made sense. While they had always been friends with Namjoon especially Shownu and him, they also had both a hard omega and soft alpha which would make Namjoon fit in more. They were a little bit more removed from all of the shit that gone down, and sometimes you need a fresh start he could get that with Monsta X. He could get a fresh new start removed from everything with a pack that had tried a little of everything and could support him in that way.

And then BTS who should probably fix themselves before they could fix their relationship with Namjoon. BamBam sighed, suddenly he felt a lot less secure in this whole thing. Suddenly he felt like maybe this wasn’t going to be a simple slam dunk.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has been a while since I decided to tease you guys in an author note... So I decided to do it here!
> 
> 'Somebody who is very supportive that you guys actually like, should not be trusted and has their own agenda that goes against what most of you want!' 10 panda points to who guesses it!
> 
> And a formal congratulation to the person who managed to predict a bit of the ending! I know you aren't happy, but you brought this on yourself! XD
> 
> See all of you Wednsday! THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT! Namjoon talking with BTS COMING UP!
> 
> [My Personal Tumblr!](http://prussiankpop.tumblr.com/)   
>  [My Writing Tumblr!](http://rofics.tumblr.com/)


	34. If you're struggling like I am, can't we make things a little easier? I should've treated you better when I had you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got something to say to all if you people who want to say that my marshmellow baby Daesung has an agenda!  
> 

The rest of the day went without to much stuff going on. It was Sunday and all of them had the day off, which was spent lying around after both Namjoon and Youngjae had gotten themselves cleaned up a bit. Namjoon did have to endure a little bit of teasing which ended up with him hiding his face in Jackson’s chest who did not seem to disagree with that at all.

There were one thing off though, BamBam… Namjoon couldn’t explain what it was, but it was clear that something were wrong. It was clear that everybody else knew what was wrong other than Namjoon and he didn’t know how to deal with being held outside the loop. He ended up not being able to take it anymore later that day and when Jinyoung asked him if he wanted any snacks he just shook his head deciding to track down the youngest omega who was napping in the nest.

Namjoon couldn’t deny that BamBam was adorable sprawled starfish in the giant bed that looked way too big for him when he was there all alone. He wore an almost threadbare tank top that was way too big for him hanging of one shoulder and pulled up slightly to expose the flat stomach underneath. He looked way to cute, in sleep he didn’t have the worried facial expression that he had been wearing all day, instead just a relaxed smiling look as he slept.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from crawling into the bed and curl up next to him gently petted the tummy skin showing. It was almost amazing knowing that he could touch like this now and how he could feel BamBam relaxing under his petting even more. Namjoon wasn’t sure how long they just laid there until the younger slowly started waking up.

“Joonie?” The voice was confused and still heavy with sleep. “You okay?”

It was kinda sad that BamBam just assumed that something was wrong with him just because he was here with him alone so he shook his head. “I was worried about you, so I went to check on you. But you were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

BamBam rubbed his eyes before rolling over on his side so he were looking Namjoon in the eyes. “It’s nothing… Just my stupid head.”

The other omega reached out to gently brush some of his hair out of his eyes. “Nothing is stupid when it comes to how you feel you know that. You can tell me if I did something to hurt you, or if anything else is hurting you. I’m suppose to try be a part of the pack, and that means you need to treat me as an equal not a kid that needs protection.”

BamBam sighed, he knew that Namjoon had a point. “I saw the hoodie you have from Block B, it is just… While I know that you are getting courted by other packs, it was so easy to forget when you were here with us, and I felt… I don’t know how I felt, but it wasn’t nice.”

Namjoon sighed resting his forehead against BamBam’s. “I can’t promise that I am going to choose to stay with this pack, at this point my mind is one big melting pot of thoughts, but I can promise you something else. That no matter what happens, no matter who I choose or anything you will always mean something special to me, you all will.”

BamBam looked a little hesitant, but Namjoon could also feel how his shoulders had relaxed a little as he smiled at Namjoon. “I’m sorry to put that on you. I don’t want you to feel pressured to pick us, or to pick anybody. It’s just that sometimes I can’t control how I feel.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from pulling BamBam into his arms. “I don’t need you to control how you feel, I just want us to be honest with each other. I’m a big boy I can handle it. Your mental health is just as important as mine.” He kissed BamBam on the top of his hair as BamBam smiled into his chest. This was why Namjoon was so good for them, he had such a big heart it was fucking stupid.

When they went to bed that night Namjoon got pulled from his normal cuddle position between Youngjae and Jackson to instead to join Yugyeom and BamBam. It was kinda cute with Namjoon’s head on one of the alpha’s shoulders and BamBam’s on the other, both omegas had a thigh swung over the maknaes more or less pinning him to the bed. Not that Yugyeom minded this was his prefered way to sleep and he just hummed happily with an arm around each of the cuddly omegas quickly surrounding the the realm of sleep.

The morning was a mess, everybody being all over and messy trying to get ready. “Namjoon breakfast!” Jinyoung called while Namjoon tried to pull on his jeans which were awkwardly baggy on him after he lost the weight.

“I will eat after dance training! I have dance first coming up and I feel really bad when dancing after eating, and nobody needs me to throw up on the floor.” Namjoon yelled back from the nest as he started packing his bag, a change of dance clothing, his old lyric notebook, the new one he had gotten, his keys, studio keys, calendar plans, a pair of indoor shoes for dancing.

He went over the list in his head as his phone rang, his lift to the studio was there god he had forgotten how stressful being an idol was as he threw the rest of his stuff down into the bag without to much thought about it safety quickly pulling on his shoes. “I have to go! My life is here!” he yelled almost leaving as his wrist got pulled and he got turned around to look at Jaebum, which kissed him on the cheek.

“Have a good day Joonie, and take this with you try and see if you can solve it if you need to take a break.” He gave Namjoon the puzzlebox from B.A.P. the“You aren’t the only person who is curious what it is, it could either be really really cute and sentimental… or it’s a box snakes about to jump in your face and there is no inbetween.”

That made Namjoon giggle as he leaned down a little to kiss Jaebum on the lips. “I feel like I should be scared.”

“You probably should,” Jaebum laughed before lightly pushing Namjoon out the door, “you are going to be late, try not to get yourself hurt! And if you are feel sick, there is nothing wrong with stopping and taking a break!”

Namjoon just smiled over his shoulder as he ran to the car, somehow managing to not fall over his own way to long limbs which was actually a miracle.

Looking over his schedule while being in the car, made him feel slightly dizzy already. God they were going to start promotions soon, Namjoon loved their fans and being an idol. But nobody was made to greet people for 10 hours, his ass hurt from sitting down that long after a session! And his hand cramped!

Thinking of the fans Namjoon took the time to log back into their twitter, it had been pretty dead by other than Jimin who seemed to atleast try and keep up the pretense that they were all just fine. Namjoon decided that he should probably help his fellow omega. He didn’t look his best maybe, but his skin was clear and he had actually managed to get enough sleep for once. It took him a good 30 pictures until he took one that he was actually happy with, and captured it ‘back to training! Looking forward to seeing all of you soon!’

He didn’t stay on to see what the fans wrote back. He still wasn’t ready to deal with the fans reaction to being an omega. While he had hoped that it was positive he also wasn’t ready to deal with antis. Finally arriving was kinda a surreal experience for Namjoon. He hadn’t known that he would some day actually look forward to dance training, but he was right at that moment actually looking forward to it, forward to going back to having a normal life.

He wasn’t sure how he would react when he saw the rest of his group, but he didn’t get much time to think about cause as soon as he entered the building he meet Jungkook. Both of them froze. “Namjoon-hyung.” The words were just hanging in the air.

It had been forever since Jungkook had ever called him hyung in a private setting, Jungkook looked like… Shit, if Namjoon had to be honest. The nail marks on his cheek didn’t seem to be deep, but the one over his neck and clavicle did seem like they would scar, and Namjoon’s fingers itched to check it out. “Kookie.” He responded, on purpose going with the nickname to hopefully getting the maknae to feel more.. Safe? Around him.

Jungkook for his part didn’t know how he was supposed to react around Namjoon. He no longer had the scent of death or rotten fruit around him, instead there were just a weak scent of peaches and what smelled like cream? Without thinking about it he reached out for Namjoon to hug him, somehow his body needed to know that this was actually real, but the second his hand touched Namjoon’s shoulder he flinched.

It wasn’t a small almost controllable flinch that he had done around Jackson and Jaebum, it was a full body flinch and pulling away from Jungkook as his body reminded him of the feeling of the alpha order being placed on him, and it was to much for his mind as he blanked for a few seconds.

Jungkook looked like a lost puppy with his hand still hanging in the air. “Joonie-hyung?” His voice was so sad, and there for a second he wasn’t an 18 year old alpha, but the same kid that started out with BTS. Now felt like he had been rejected by the one person he thought he could always trust.

Namjoon wanted to make Jungkook feel better, but he had no idea how to do it right now. He wanted to forget about what had happened between them, but he simply couldn’t. His brain refused to let him forget that this was the alpha that ordered him, that had violated him in one of the most private ways there was. But he was still the leader of BTS and he needed to make this right. “I’m sorry, I still don’t have complete control of what my body says.”

Jungkook almost wanted to cry, everything that had happened the last couple of days and now he was such a monster that he couldn’t even touch Namjoon it was all simply to much as he sniffed a little trying to hold back the tears that wanted to make a return to his life. “I never wanted to hurt you…”

Namjoon had to force his hand to pat Jungkook on the head, he looked so sad and lost. “I know, we are going to be okay I promise, it might take a little while, but we are going to be okay. Are Vixx treating you okay, are you getting enough sleep and remembering to eat?”

It was first after he had said it and Jungkook was smiling widely that he listened to how much he said like a nagging mum saying that and he wanted to facepalm himself, but it made Jungkook feel better. “They keep calling me a puppy.” Jungkook pouted, trying his best to look cute.

Namjoon laughed a little as well. “Well try not to pee on their carpet, they are going to give us so much shit when they find out that we didn’t house train you.”

“JOONIE!”

“And I am not taking shit for that,” then suddenly he got serious because he had things that needed to be said, “I have moved Taehyung so he is vocal training today, I know you are sorry, but I need you to not seek him out.”

Jungkook shook his head in almost desperate movement. “I need to tell him the truth! That I didn’t mean it, that my meds were fucking up! That I am going to do my best to make it up to him.”

Namjoon just sighed, he knew this wouldn’t be easy. “He is scared of alphas he wouldn’t even let Jihoon close to him, and he is the least threatening alpha in the world. I know that you didn’t mean to do it, but please just for now stay away from him until then.”

This time Jungkook was more somber in his body language as he nodded sadly. He knew that Namjoon was right that he needed to do this, but it didn’t make it any easier. Taehyung was one of the members he were closest with, especially before the device of Taehyung being a lower rank that Jungkook had split them up. It was Jungkook’s job to protect him and he had fucked that up.

“I promise, I will make this right and if Taehyung needs some time then it’s going to be okay.” He were hesitant to ask his next question, his mind was still a mess and he wasn’t sure if it was how the world worked or another thing he had gotten wrong. “Are you… going to step down as leader?”

It was like a punch to Namjoon stomach and he pulled away from Jungkook as he shook his head. “No, I have already talked with Bang PD-nim about it. I will stay as leader of BTS.” He knew that he could do it as an omega, but hearing somebody voice the doubts he had in his head wasn’t doing amazing things for his mind.

Jungkook instead just felt awkward it seemed that it was one of those things that he had gotten wrong. That wasn’t actually real. Fuck. “Joonie that wasn’t what I meant… I uhm… I.” It had been such a long time since he had felt awkward around Namjoon and now he felt like he was back at square one as he hung his shoulders sadly.

“We both have a lot of growing to do, in the end we will be a better version of ourself,” he tried to smile what he hoped was a calming smile, “Bangtan fighting?”

“Bangtan fighting.” Jungkook answered with a little hesitation. “I’m gonna… go, since we don’t have dance training all together I am going to go and hit the gym first, okay with you?” It was clear for Jungkook that Namjoon wasn’t comfortable around him and Namjoon really didn’t need more of a challenge when it came to dancing.

Namjoon nodded. “I’m gonna go and find Seokjin, don’t overwork yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I have Wonshik-hyung for that,”

Namjoon ended up finding Seokjin stretching alone in the dance practice room they normally used. He didn’t seem to have noticed Namjoon as he tried to push himself into a stretch he clearly would never be able to do. “You are just going to hurt yourself.”

The newly presented omega had never seen Seokjin move that fast as he got up from his spot on the floor and almost attacked Namjoon in the most aggressive hug he had gotten to date. Which if Seokjin hadn’t expected it had landed them both on the ground, instead they managed to stay upright which was actually impressive.

“Namjoon!” After Seokjin had hugged him he held Namjoon out with two hands to inspect him like a mother would do. When he took off his rose tinted goggles of ‘everything’ is okay he could really see it. Namjoon was so skinny, and he felt the still resting part of him that blamed himself. “I’m sorry.” he couldn’t hold it in anymore, this was his fault.

Namjoon was mostly confused about what Seokjin was going on about. “I don’t understand? You are the person who has the least to apologize for. It’s me that needs to apologise for not being there for you when you clearly needed me.”

“Oh you heard about it.” The beta had really hoped that he hadn’t heard about it, he really didn’t need to add more stress to Namjoon’s plate.

“Jinnie hyung, please you know you can talk to me.” Namjoon said sadly and now it was his turn to take Seokjin into a bear hug. There was a reason why the fans always joked about how him and Namjoon were married. Because they were very close. Seokjin seemed to be the one in BTS who cared the least about the fact that he was a dud. He had been able to smell him from the start which means he didn’t have the awkward transition as Namjoon had with the Maknae line of the first moment they would smell Namjoon after presenting.

Seokjin remembered what Jaejoong had said to him. It was okay to talk about how you felt, you weren’t a burden for your feelings. “I… I have high functioning anxiety.”

The thing was that Namjoon already knew this. He had never tried to confront Seokjin about it, he had always assumed that it was pack business that he had no part in. He thought that they were dealing with it, but now the more he got involved he learned that nobody dealt with anything. They had just all ignored all the warning signs and just played pretend that everything were okay. Namjoon hugged him as close as his body could. “I know, and it’s okay. It doesn’t change the fact that you are Kim Seokjin. You are perfect the way you are I promise and we could never want anything better than that.”

The hug the two men shared was almost crushing, but both had missed each other more than they would like to admit. Pack or no pack they were close friends. “I’m sorry for not noticing, I’m the one in control of food and I didn’t notice you weren’t eating. This is my fault.” He needed it out.

Namjoon just shook his head. “No, it is my fault for not eating. There was food and I avoided it, this is on me and my mind. I know that you guys are taking the majority of the blame, but the truth is that I were the one who didn’t eat. This is only on me, all of it.”

“But… Yoongi.”

“No this is not Yoongi’s fault, Yoongi just did what he thought was the best for the pack. Yes sometimes his methods weren’t the best, but that isn’t Yoongi’s fault. Both you and I knew that he is a victim of his past, this isn’t his fault.” Namjoon shrugged as he let go of Seokjin. “I don’t blame Yoongi and you guys shouldn’t either.”

Seokjin was looking at Namjoon hesitantly. He didn’t really agree with what Namjoon were saying but he didn’t get a chance to disagree as the choreographer entered the room he looked over the two subpar dancers. “So this is what I have to work with right now.” It was clearly a jab at their dancing ability, but his smile was kind. Over all they all had a good relationship with their staff, one of the perks of a small company and… not being a dick.

Namjoon smiled an apologetic smile. “Please take care of us?”

Five hours after, both idols were lying on the ground out of breath wanting to swear away their choreographer who was stretching easily like he hadn’t just done the same amount of dancing as them since they needed to be showed the moves all the time. “You know, for the fact that both of you just came out of the hospital that was actually halfway decent, we might still make dancers out of both of you.”

Namjoon laughed a little, even though every part of his body hurt it felt so good to be back at work. This was where he belonged. Okay in the studio creating music not in the dance studio hurting himself, but the point were still there. “Don’t worry Seokjin and I are going to debut as a two man dance troupe, we are going to call it grandpa swag.”

Seokjin looked almost insulted at Namjoon. “I am an amazing dancer thank you very much.”

It caused the two other men to just laughed as the choreographer got his stuff together to leave. “I am meeting Jungkook and Hoseok at the gym for a lesson over there. Make sure you don’t die here while I’m gone.”

The two idols just laughed a little, but not bothering getting up from the floor as they just laid there both half dead until they heard Seokjin’s phone go off with multiple texts with the mario coin sound. “Somebody really want to get a hold of you.” Namjoon teased.

What he didn’t expect was for Seokjin to blush. “It’s Jaejoong-hyung I said I would be done by now with dance training.” He managed to peel himself off the ground. But instead of standing he crawled to the bag, grabbed his phone before collapsing on the ground again.

“Hyung? You move fast, what does he want?” Namjoon eyeballed his water bottle, thinking for a second about getting up to get it before he just sighed and decided it wasn’t worth it he could die happily here on the floor.

Seokjin giggled a little awkwardly. “He wanted to know if I wanted to stay the night again, apparently he is alone for the night and he has a recipe he wants to try.” Namjoon found it kinda adorable that Seokjin had found friends, and then he remembered what Wonshik had told him. This was what he had talked about, how they all needed friends.

“You should do it.”

Seokjin looked confused at Namjoon. “Are you sure?”

“Taehyung is with Seventeen, Hoseok hyung is with some friends, Yoongi hyung is who even knows anymore. Jungkook is with Vixx and Jimin needs some friends, don’t even argue with me on this one. And you deserve some time to yourself as well. Wonshik made me open my eyes, we aren’t healthy, we need friends that aren’t already our pack or group.”

Seokjin said teasingly. “I feel like we should be worried that Wonshik is about to steal our baby-alpha.”

Namjoon himself laughed at the idea. “If Kookie was an omega, yeah you should probably worry. But if anything he is going to give up halfway through and just mail him back to you.”

“You do have a point, if it wasn’t because they needed an alpha and Taekwoon is… Taekwoon they wouldn’t have an alpha at all.”

The two idols laughed, it felt good. It was the first time in forever Namjoon laughed and had real fun with a BTS member without feeling he wasn’t good enough. Maybe there was still hope for this all to workout, with or without him joining the pack.

Namjoon got up from his spot on the floor finally and sighed. “You go, I have to go and talk with Minnie and Tae,”

“You sure you don’t wanna go and catch dinner first? It can’t be a fun conversation that you need to have.” Seokjin started gathering his things, while texting Jaejoong.

Namjoon just shook his head. “I’m gonna grab something later, I can’t wait with this sadly. Have fun and make friends… Old friends, but friends!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And to end it with, I really like this chapter, for reason's that you guys don't know yet. A plus to the person who catches onto a very important thing that is only like half a line! Details are important!
> 
> Also remember, working against what most readers want doesn't mean somebody is evil! Or out to hurt anybody, they just might prefer... a different outcome than the rest of you guys ^^ A very different one, will anybody stop him that's a good question, cause he is so good at hiding that only one person so far have guessed it and they didn't mean to XD


	35. Authors note, NOT Chapter

So I'm not abandoning the story you can all calm down!

 

I am just posting this to inform you all that there will be no new chapter of Hidden omega this week!

 

The reason for this is that I have an important exam coming up Tuesday, and after that I need to take sometime off to spend some me time. The truth is I really haven't taken a break to spend on myself since I started written Hidden Omega back in November. All my free time is spend writing, and while I love writing and I know what is going to happen in the next many chapters and can't wait to reveal all the new plot twist and turns, I do need some time to relax!

I am coming back the week after stronger than ever! Alsoooo! Good news!

 

I just got the art I commissioned for the final pairing, and it is amazing and I can't wait to show all of you, also! I finished planning for the epilogue chapter and Namjoon's heat! The epilogue might involve babies, I'm lying... It definitely have babies in it! Babies with Namjoon's dimples and an adorable nose! Yes that is a hint cause even in an authors note I'm a teasing bitch!

 

Have a good week!

 

PRUSSIA OUT! And back to her code... fuck code, in the butt 


	36. A love gone bad is a crazy thing, but how did it catch up to us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEE WHO IS BACK! A few notes as always.
> 
> If you have left comments or messages me the last week, I answered them and I won't go over them cause it makes me feel overwhelmed to do bunks of answer at once, I read them but that it is. If you have a question, please do as again!
> 
> Secondly!  
> Namjoon's heat, very long time until it will come, Namjoon is not healthy enough in his body to support a heat and pregnancy which is the point of heat even if it rarely happens.  
> Now... Please enjoy!

Namjoon took one deep breath standing outside of the vocal practice room. He didn’t get to open the door as it opened by it self and their vocal coach stepped out. “Oh you are back, that is good! I hope you feel better!”

Their vocal coach was a nice older lady, around 50 she was an omega and had always treated all of them with respect even the rapper who she never really had anything to do with. “Yes thank you.” He did a slight bow before hurrying into the room.

“JOOOOONIE!” Was all Namjoon managed to hear before a whirlwind of limbs came over him and a heavy weight crashed into him and he lost balance as the scent of peanuts came over him.

Normally he would have no problem carrying Taehyung’s weight, but his body was against him and he was already a little unsafe on his feet. Taehyung was luckily fast as he felt them going down managing to wrap an arm around Namjoon head saving his IQ from losing a few points from the impact. The fall still punched the air out of him, but he felt okay and even if it hurt he couldn’t stop himself from giggling thinking about how BamBam had done the same thing when they had met him again.

“Taehyung! I told you you can’t do that!” Jimin’s voice was worried and half panicked as Namjoon heard steps coming towards them. “Namjoon are you okay?!”

Taehyung still had the arm around Namjoon’s head meaning Namjoon couldn’t really see shit as his face was pressed into the beta’s shoulder. “I’m fine Jimin don’t worry.” He tried to say but the words got muffled by the younger shoulder.

Namjoon felt Taehyung squish him lightly before finally letting him go. “I’m sorry Joonie.” He did look sorry as he awkwardly ran a hand through his hair that to be honest looked like he needed to wash it. But other than that and the visual mark on his face from the punch Taehyung looked okay. Namjoon knew him better than that he could see the sadness behind his eyes and could see how fake that box smile was today.

He couldn’t stop himself from sitting up with Taehyung still on his lap and hug him close as to keep him safe. “It’s going to be okay, you don’t have to pretend. There is no stage here for you pretend to be happy for, it is okay to be sad even as the moodmaker.”

Taehyung stiffened in his arms as Jimin sat down on his knees next to them and joined the two in a hug, almost drowning Taehyung in their combined scent of caramel added with peach and cream. And he once again started crying, unable to hold it back.

He had promised himself that he would be able to get through the day, that he would be brave and strong today and that he wouldn’t pull everybody else down with him. But the truth was that he wasn’t okay. He had smelt Jungkook’s scent in the hallway and almost had a breakdown, and he knew it wasn’t right he knew that Jungkook didn’t actually mean to hurt him. “I’m sorry, I can’t control it! I just... I just didn’t want him to die! I told him to stop doing it, I told him not to, but he didn’t listen!”

Jimin felt so confused, like there were some story that nobody had told him and tried to look at Namjoon for some help but their group leader just smiled a sad smile at Taehyung. That was when Jimin noticed how deep Namjoon’s dimples had become with his rapid weight loss, it wasn’t really cute or charming anymore if anything it made Jimin worried about him.

He knew that Namjoon had lost weight, and he knew from the hospital again, but right there in this moment it was like somebody had pulled away his rose tinted glasses and he saw Namjoon for what he was. Which was somebody who looked like they would fall about very soon. Oh god what had they done, and why was Namjoon still so focused on fixing them!? He should be fixing himself, the worst part that Jimin knew that they should have helped Namjoon so much earlier.

He knew that they all ignored issues, it was so much easier to pretend that nothing was wrong with any of them. That was really what had landed them in this problem wasn’t it? Namjoon didn’t focus on Jimin at all though instead he looked at Taehyung petting his hair. “Don’t worry about it, nobody blames you. And nobody is going to force you to tell us your story until you are ready for it, we don’t own you.”

That was when it really hit Jimin. Namjoon had no idea how to be an omega did he? He still thought that he was in control of everything, Jimin would have to actually explain all of this to him before he got himself hurt messing with something he had no reason being a part of.

For Taehyung’s part it was what he needed to hear as he sniffed. “I almost made Jihoon cry,” he looked really shy over that, “I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t deal with alphas they all made me think of… What he did, his eyes were almost red I thought he was supposed to get better.”

Of course nobody had actually talked to each other after. It was stupid of Namjoon to actually think that communication was something that this pack would do. “Jungkook got the wrong kind of medicine, it had pumped his system even more full of alpha hormones. I am not apologizing for him and saying it is okay what he did, but he is really sorry, and you need to take the time you need to and then talk to him, he is your pack.”

Jimin added. “He is your alpha, he just wants what is best for you.”

Taehyung dried his eyes. “I’m sorry, I can’t seem to stop crying lately, and there is more important things to talk about. Like how you smell so cute Joonie, and you need to redye your hair. Your roots are showing”

That made Namjoon laugh leaning back on his arms still with Taehyung in his lap but no longer hugging him. “Maybe I am trying to save my hair, god knows that it actually really need it.”

Jimin who was now sitting next to Namjoon leaned his head on his shoulder taking in the still very weak smell of Namjoon’s scent. It was still sweet but also with a fresh edge over all it fit Namjoon perfectly. “I’m sorry it is way too late to save your hair, let’s be honest the only person who will have hair when they are thirty is Kookie.”

He caught to late that he mentioned the baby alpha, but while Taehyung did stiffen he seemed to not be to bothered as he just smiled at Jimin. “You are right in that, he thinks dark colours make him mysterious.”

Then Namjoon thought about what Wonshik had told him and he could no longer hold back his giggle leaving the two younger BTS members to look at him weirdly. “Puppy,” Namjoon managed to giggle out like it explained everything, “he is a puppy. That is what they call him Wonshik says.”

That made the rest of them laugh as well. The thought of their baby alpha just taking being called a puppy by the older pack was kinda funny. But Taehyung was one who stopped laughing the fastest. “Is he staying with them for a while?” That made Namjoon stop laughing as well, it was time to do his job actually lead this quickly sinking ship.

“Yeah,” he sighed a little not sure how to explain it, “he is not happy with how he is treating other people, and if anybody can make him respect omegas it is them. He is going to stay there until our next comeback, he will still train with us. I talked with Wonshik and we decided that it was a good idea that we all spend some time apart. We don’t really talk with anybody other than each other and that isn’t healthy. That is why you are being cleared to stay with Seventeen for a while as well. We talked with their manager as well so he knows you are there.”

Taehyung looked actually happy being told that he could stay there. “Thank you Joonie, I know it couldn’t have been easy to actually plan all of that. It means a lot to me that you actually did it.”

The older just shrugged. “Not really, it was actually fairly easy. Bang PD-nim agrees with me that we need it.”

Jimin looked a little confused. “Is it only the two of them or...?”

Namjoon shook his head. “Yoongi is spending some time alone while he is going through therapy. I am with Got7 right now and some other people later, “ he said that fast hoping that nobody would question it, “Seokjin is going to spend some time with some friends he met and Hobi met a few people at support group.”

That was when something happened that Namjoon should have seen coming. Jimin half stuck out his bottom lip in a stubborn move. “I will wait at home for people to come home then.” Taehyung and Namjoon exchanged a glance, god they should have seen this coming.

Both of them knew that while Jimin had stood up against Jungkook, it was only because of his choice of words. He was almost half as brainwashed as Jungkook. Had Yoongi said that to him instead of Jimin, there were a real chance that Jimin would actually have agreed to Yoongi’s saying. The thing was that while Jimin really hadn’t had any problems with his family pack, he wasn’t really close to them either. He had moved away very early, and most of his influence about omega’s he had gotten from dance school or Yoongi neither being very positive.

Namjoon almost wanted to hug Jimin close and never let him go. It was crazy how one person having a fucked up childhood could influence so many people. Bang PD-nim had really seemed to put the most fucked up people into one group. He knew he had to do something. He knew that Yoongi would never hurt Jimin like he would never hurt Namjoon, and while he kept defending Yoongi and he believed that Yoongi really just wanted the best for all of them. There were some part of his mind screaming at him that he needed to get Jimin out of there. So he made a decision he lightly pushed Taehyung of his lap. “I really need the toilet, wait for me? We still have more to talk about.”

Taehyung who other than Namjoon himself was the person most in sync with people's emotions nodded, and he had an idea about what Namjoon was about to do. The older omega didn’t even manage to make it all the way to the bathroom before pulling out his phone and dialing a number he hadn’t used in a long while. It only took 3 rings until it was picked up. “Namjoon?”

“You still owe me a favour.” He was quick to say, as he was typing on his phone while he spoke through his headset.

“I see you left your manners in the hospital, I am still your hyung.” His fellow omega whined out. “Welcome to the team by the way.”

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon mumbled “but I am a little bit in a hurry. I need you to get Jimin to spend the next bit of time with you guys. I don’t care how you do it.”

“Does this have something to do with Yoongi?” Baekhyun questioned, but Namjoon could hear that he had started typing on his phone as well.

It was kinda sad that everybody seemed to know what was going on with BTS and how they were collapsing from the inside. Namjoon sighed a thing he seemed to do a lot around BTS. “Yeah… yeah…”

“He seemed terrified of the idea of another alpha helping him through his heat, which is something completely normal! What do you guys brainwash your omegas with.” Baekhyun seemed half distracted, but also half offended.

Namjoon had to actually stop himself from sighing again. “Long story, but short version alpha packs. Does that mean you can do it?”

“Can I live with an adorable omega who smells really cute, saving me from the struggle of having to actually go outside to find another omega to stabilize myself with? Yes I can do it.”

“And the rest of your pack.”

“Both Suho and Yixing has a soft spot for him, and he isn’t the same kind of omega as Tao and LuLu. So the rest should be fine as well, don’t worry Namjoon we got your back on this one. We don’t want to see him hurt any more than you do.”

“Thank you, it means the world to me.” God he did sigh to much didn’t he?

“Now go and actually enjoy being courted!”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling along with Baekhyun before hanging up. He might not be specifically close with the older omega, but he had helped him when he really needed it around the time that that LuHan left them. He hadn’t asked any questions about what had happened, he had known that it was much worse than SM had let out, but he had also known that it was to early for Baekhyun to talk about it.

Now that he knew the truth he kinda wanted to say it, but he didn’t want to break Mark’s drunk trust. Also he didn’t want to bring up the pain that Baekhyun most have felt, he didn't deserve it so he just says his goodbyes and hung up.

After that he waited a while until he made his walk back to the practice room. When he was back there Jimin was being uncomfortable as he was rocking awkwardly on the sole of his feets and he looked at Namjoon when he came back in with big eyes. “Is there a chance that you can work out with Bang PD-nim that I also spend some time away from the pack, as long as I come and practice every day?”

Namjoon played dumb the best he could. “Of course I can do that, but I thought you wanted to stay home? Did something happen? Are you okay?”

“Yixing called me, apparently Baekhyun is going through a tough time since it is so close to the time LuHan left. He thinks that it might be better if Baek has another omega around him to you know… make him feel more calm or something. I really owe him alot and he has gone through so much already that I just want him to feel better.”

Namjoon smiled at him the biggest smile he could. “That is nice of you, but you have been cleared to do it all the time like the rest of people, so you don’t have nothing to worry about as long as you remember to show up for training and practice. Can you promise me that?”

Jimin nodded like an eager puppy, it is was nice to see a real smile on his face again. Jimin’s face had been stuck in a grimace to sad to be part of him. Taehyung looked up from his phone and bit his lip. While he wanted to spend more time with Namjoon he was also hungry and just got a text that dinner was almost ready. “Joonie? Can you call me later? I wanna talk, but I’m starving, and they are making my favorite!”

The older just gave him a quick hug. “You go, you have been here since early!”

Jimin smiled after the beta as well. It was nice seeing Taehyung being this happy even if it wasn’t about BTS since lately everybody had been a little to sad. Then it was Jimin’s turn to sigh, he knew what he had to do now even if he didn’t like it. “We have to talk about something.”

That left Namjoon a little confused. While yes he did want to talk to Jimin the serious mask was back over his face and he had a feeling he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear. “Is something wrong?”

“I know you aren’t used to being an omega and you are still getting used to it. But you have to give some of the responsibilities over to the alphas, you aren’t an dud anymore. You don’t have to worry about stuff like that anymore, they will take care of it for you.” Namjoon just looked confused and worried at Jimin as the younger omega ran a hand through his hair. “And you can’t speak like that about Yoongi, while you aren’t in our pack yet he is still a pack alpha. I know it is hard since you are our leader outwards, but it will come as natural to you to let the alphas handle some of the stuff, and you will enjoy it.”

Jimin actually thought that didn’t he? Namjoon wanted nothing more than to wrap Jimin up in a blanket and protect him, this was actually worse than Kookie wasn’t it? Because Jungkook knew what he did was wrong, he wanted to change. Jimin had no idea that what he was doing was actually wrong. Namjoon also knew he couldn’t argue with Jimin. While he disagreed with other people that it was Yoongi’s fault, but it was clear that something was wrong with Jimin’s mindset.

Namjoon just bowed down and kissed him on the chin. “I will think about it, but I think you need to go home and pack if I’m not wrong. And I promised that I would be back for dinner, see you tomorrow?”

“Oh I am with Hobi in another dance studio practicing for something else.” Then he grabbed his stuff looking a little worried. It felt like Namjoon didn’t actually understand what he said was actually really important, he would have to talk about it again later. Maybe get Baekhyun to help him explain it.

Namjoon did stand a good 5 minutes looking after Jimin as he left him with a light hug, this wasn’t going to be easy was it.

When Namjoon did come home the dorm smelt like food. But there was a lack of screaming and yelling that made him worried, and when he stepped into the kitchen it was only Jaebum standing there. Which in itself was weird, but the fact that nobody from the Maknae line was standing there trying to eat the food with their eyes were even weirder. “Where is everybody.”

“ARGH!” Jaebum half yelled out as he dropped the spoon that he had been…. Eating with? Turned out that Jaebum was kinda eating while he was cooking. “Uhm they are still at practice, I got home early because our big baby was getting sick.”

“Fuck you!” Came a pained yell from the living room which was no other person than Jackson.

Jaebum looked at Namjoon with the best puppy eyes he could. “Don’t tell Jinyoung? I promised not to eat while cooking,”

Namjoon could feel his own stomach growling since he hadn’t eaten anything all day. While he knew that he shouldn’t really eat it smelt so good and a little taste couldn’t hurt right? “Only if I can have a taste as well.”

The truth was that any mention of Namjoon and actually wanting to eat something made Jaebum happy. Which meant that he easily let Namjoon taste and the younger omega just happily chewed. “It is really good! I didn’t know you could cook?”

“You burn enough food and in the end you end up actually learning how to cook, unless you are Mark… Then you never learn and you should be banned from the kitchen forever.” Jaebum teased even tho the other omega wasn’t here as he himself sneaked some more food. “Could you go and check that he isn’t dead? He threatened to go and die when I wouldn’t let him hang on me like a koala. Because normal Jackson is extra, sick Jackson is even more extra.”

Namjoon quickly agreed, he had experienced sick Jackson before and Jaebum was right he was very very extra. Jackson was lying spread eagle as much as he could on the couch in… only his underwear.

The younger couldn’t stop himself from blushing a little. While he had seen Jackson like this before he simply couldn’t stop it as he looked over how they were hugging Jackson close. “Did you breakup with your clothes”

“I’m hoooooooot,” Jackson complained while making grabby hands at Namjoon like the toddler he mentally was, “come heeeeere”

God Jackson really was extra and a child. “Didn’t you say that you were actually hot?” Namjoon questioned, while he did want to cuddle with the older he also didn’t want to make him better.

That seemed to be enough for Jackson who generally felt that nobody understand him right now. While yes he was hot and he felt like he was dying, he was also lonely and needed hugs and cuddles from everybody. Was it so hard to understand? He just needed to know everybody was safe and here, but they weren’t were they?!

He got up and pouted at Namjoon as he noticed the height difference between you. “I want to kiss you!” He demanded, because he could actually do that now. Especially since Namjoon hadn’t even flinched when he got close.

“What is stopping you?” Namjoon had started to feel more of himself and less like he was scared for being judged from being an omega. Which means his personality shined through and he could actually tease Jackson like how he used to.

“Well I can’t reach asshole.”

Namjoon wanted to do many things, like teasing Jackson for being a short little thing, or just generally teasing Jackson’s facial expression. But instead he just smiled and leaned down to kiss Jackson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the end here I only have one thing to say this time...
> 
> All of you are yelling at Namjoon for not eating, but not a single one of you are worried about his grade a victim blaming on himself? XD


	37. Everyone come in, who's turn is it next? It's an unpredictible, crazy guerilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is late I know, also sorry for the spelling mistakes in the notes. It is 2:20 am and I kinda already took out my contacts... and I have minus 8 on both eyes XD

The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. Jackson was very much a puppy who needed attention from all of them, but they all just went with it. Even Namjoon just bared his neck for Jackson to lightly scent him. It wasn’t the same sexual scenting that Youngjae and he had done, instead it was much more of Jackson just wanting his scent on… everybody!

Mark assured him that it was normal, that alphas when they got sick always wanted to mark people, it was in their biology. Since they would be too weak to actually defend anybody, they needed something to prove that they still belonged. Even Jaebum bared his scent gland for Jackson to rub his herbal scent over. Something that made Jackson almost purr as he settled into half cuddling on Jaebum’s lap napping while the pack alpha used his phone behind his pack. Apparently Jaebum weren’t completely forgiven for not letting Jackson be a koala if the light bite over Jaebum’s own pack bite which made him yelp out was anything to show. But Jaebum just lightly smacked the other alpha over the head.

Namjoon had to admit, sick Jackson was just kinda adorable. He was like a cat that needed attention on him, and as soon as somebody left the room his eyes were focused on the door the left, only calming down and relaxing when they returned. His attention seemed even more focused on Namjoon as the second Namjoon went to go to the toilet, Jackson almost followed him before he was half tackled by Yugyeom and BamBam. “Time to nap old man.”

While Jackson’s eyes were still focused on Namjoon nobody said no to the maknae line. They were adorable. At dinner Namjoon even managed to eat something, mostly to satisfy Jinyoung who was watching over him like a hawk.

This time with Got7 had actually started to feel normal, like a routine. It didn’t feel like he was a guest anymore which was a nice feeling. It was nice feeling like you belonged somewhere, it was nice sitting in the living room writing on his laptop and fixing schedules with Mark playing with his hair while watching TV. This was what it used to be in BTS before Jimin presented and they became a pack. Back when everything was so easy, and they could easily be BTS and friends without all of this.

“Purple and roots aren’t as hot as your blond and roots were. Still pretty cute though.” Mark commented while attempting what felt like little braids in his hair for that.

Namjoon smiled easily. “So I’m hot when it’s blond and cute when it’s purple? Who knew all I had to do was change hair color for you to view me differently.”

“Ignore him, he is just sad the only two haircolors he can pull off is red and blond.”

Mark let out an insulted almost bird like squawk. “Are you saying you don’t like my hair now?”

BamBam raised an eyebrow from his position flopped over Yugyeom watching tv. “It’s just a lighter version of your normal hair color.”

Namjoon kinda zoned out from the rest of the argument, but he couldn’t explain how good it felt to just sit in the middle of all of it. Feeling that he could be part of this if he wanted to instead of feeling he didn’t have a choice. He felt like himself again, a self he had only really been allowed to be at fan meetings and stuff like that, where his group had to accept him if they wanted to or not.

When they went to get ready for sleep Jaebum pulled him aside to the kitchen. Namjoon could feel his old insecurities come up. The fear that he wasn’t good enough that he would be told to leave. He knew Jaebum wouldn’t do that to him and he thought he was loose for those demons, but it seemed that they had more control over him than he thought.

“Tea?” Jaebum asked with a smile while he was preparing a cup for himself.

Namjoon just nodded slowly still not sure what this is about. “Did I do something wrong?”

The group leader just looked at him in surprise. “No of course not. Oh is that why you think I called you here? I just noticed that it had been awhile since we had talked just the two of us, since before the hospital.”

Jaebum was right in that Namjoon noticed. The only time he had been alone with him had been that morning, the pack alpha had been very understanding of his still hesitance towards alphas. While he hadn’t pulled himself away from the younger he had still had a respectful distance from him.

Namjoon felt like he had to tell the truth. “This was what Yoongi did when he had bad news. He would pull me aside so not to upset me and tell me it. I understand why he did it, but it seems to still be stuck in my head.”

Jaebum wanted to argue that what Yoongi had done hadn’t been okay. He wanted Namjoon to stop defending the other alpha, but that conversation would have to wait. “I’m sorry for that, I just wanted to chat with you. Is it okay if I touch you?”

The new omega hesitated for a second before nodding biting his lip. As long as he knew it was coming and he could prepare for it it was okay. He could still feel his body fighting against an alpha being there but he could logic with it and make it all okay. Jaebum abandoned his tea making to wrap Namjoon up in a hug. Namjoon was proud of himself when he didn’t even flinch when Jaebum leaned his head on the side where Namjoon’s scent gland was.

“You know what the best thing about you presenting an omega is? It has nothing to do with you actually being an omega. It is the fact that you finally seem to be okay in your own skin. You used to always apologise for even being in a room. I think your scent annoyed nobody as much as it annoyed yourself,” Jaebum placed a kiss right under his ear, “that is the best change. That you are actually happy with yourself now. I know there are still some issues to work on, and everything isn’t all sunshine and puppies yet, but the fact that you are letting me do this without feeling the need to tell me you are sorry… that is the best change that could ever happen.”

Namjoon had never really thought about it before, but yeah Jaebum had a point. He was no longer scared of leaving his scent on anybody or anything, he never felt like pushing people away when they accidentally touched him. He could accept Got7’s hugs and touches without problems now. When any of them hugged him he could pull them closer and enjoy it instead of being worried if he left his horrible scent on them. It was more freeing than he could ever explain. He also couldn’t explain just how good it felt for people to finally touch him again.

Doctor Choi had told him that he was touch starved, and it was very normal for him to be craving to be touched a lot. He had basically been ignoring it for 4 years, and even though he hadn’t presented he was still an omega with omega needs that hadn’t been filled.

Namjoon tightened the hug and leaned his head on Jaebum’s shoulder. “Yeah.. I feel better over all, thank you for understanding how hard this is for me.”

Jaebum tried to break the hug, but when he sensed how strongly Namjoon was still holding on to him he just relaxed into the hug kissing the taller on his cheek. “You are important to me… to us,”

“You guys have always been willing to help me without getting anything in return and I never understood why.” Namjoon mumbled, he was a little sleepy.

“Do you really think we got nothing in return? You were the one who finally made BamBam talk about what was wrong when we couldn’t make him talk. It is you Mark goes to when he is homesick. You are many things to us Namjoon. You aren’t just another idol we help, you are a close friend to us even if you don’t pick us we are always going to be close friends. Even though I will kick your new packs ass if they don’t treat you right.”

That made Namjoon giggle. “You are a fucking softie and you know it. You might look like you are a big scary alpha sometimes, but we all know you aren't.”

“I could be!”

“Bounce.”

Jaebum looked actually insulted. “You have spent too much time with Bammie and Jackson, time to go to bed! I can’t believe you would insult me like that.”

Namjoon just nodded, his eyes and body feeling heavy after the day of dancing. “Sleep now.” He rubbed his eyes a little trying to stay away even if he knew it was a fight that he would lose.

Cooing lightly over how cute the omega looked Jaebum lightly dragged him along to the nest leaving the now cooling cup of half made tea behind. He dragged Namjoon over to Jinyoung where the older beta was quick in gathering up the half sleeping omega until he was lying between them. Easily manipulated in his sleep heavy state, when Jaebum closed his eyes spooned up behind Namjoon with his hand on Jinyoung’s hip his last thought before he fell asleep was ‘this is all going to be just fine.’

The morning when Namjoon woke up was… chaos. It was the first time he woke up completely alone, but the bed around him was still hot clearly showing that it hadn’t been that long since the rest of them had left. The first thing that caught his attention as he sat up rubbing his eyes was this smell close to him. It smelled amazing! He crawled around in the nest to find it until he finally found the pillow it was on. Namjoon couldn’t explain just how good it smelled as he kinda curled in on himself and buried his head in it.

It smelled like Jackson, but it also had something weird as an undertone. Weird as in the best fucking thing Namjoon had ever smelled. He couldn’t explain what it was. He took deep breaths trying to get more of the scent in, what was it even? And how had it been hidden from him?! This should be bottled, god he felt so happy and… safe? It was hard to explain, all he knew was that this pillow was now his and he would fight anybody who tried to take it from him.

He didn’t even notice that the loud voices had stopped from the other end of the dorm as the door to the nest were opened. “Joonie?” It was Mark’s voice as he checked if the younger omega was awake.

He had expected to find Namjoon sleeping, not curled around what looked to be Jackson’s pillow… oh… OH! Of course Jackson’s scent was still in the main nest. They had all woken up in such a flurry of prep that they hadn’t even thought about it! Namjoon had never smelled rut before, while Mark did think it was kinda adorable watching Namjoon clearly enjoying his first nose full of rut scent. But he also knew that it couldn’t be fresh anymore he hesitantly asked again. “Joonie?” since he got no reaction from the first.

Namjoon looked up from the pillow that he had decided that he would marry. Only looking up with his eyes still having nose and mouth buried in it, he was probably drooling a little on it but the pillow would accept him for who he was even with his flaws. “What?”

Mark did struggle a little hearing what Namjoon was mumbling into the pillow, but he understood the meaning. “Aww, you like the smell.”

Namjoon just nodded, it wasn’t like being scent drunk he still had control of his body and mind and he still knew what he was doing. When he had been scent drunk, he wasn’t that sure if Youngjae had done something he didn’t want, if he would have been able to stop him.

“As much as it pains me to pull you away from your first real scent of rut, we need to talk about something.” Namjoon coocked his head to the side in question. “Jackson isn’t sick, he is in rut.”

That made Namjoon actually let go of the pillow and look up at Mark in surprise. “He can’t be, his rut is in the first of a month.”

Mark just shrugged. “Well he is very definitely in rut, we think it’s because you are here and while the rest of us can smell ourselves on you and feel like that way you are part of us, Jackson can’t. And this seem to be the way that his body reacts to it.”

“What do we do? Is Jackson going to be okay?” Namjoon had let go of the pillow completely now, much more focused on making sure that the older alpha was actually okay.

Mark hesitated a little. “That is why I am here. Jackson is going to be fine no matter what, don’t worry about that. What I wanted to know is what you want to do.”

Namjoon himself hesitated. What did he want to do? Months no… weeks ago he would have run and hid, felt like he had nothing to do near somebodies rut, but now… He wanted to join, he… he wanted to help. He knew that Mark had helped with ruts even when they were courting him, he knew that it was a normal thing. He took a deep breath and looked at Mark. “I want to stay, and help… if you guys will let me.”

That made Mark smile, that was what he expected. “Good, now you need to help me convince everybody else that it is the right choice.”

“I would never hurt Jackson!”

Mark just winked at him. “For that I am sure, just… follow my lead, trust me.”

Namjoon was hesitant, but Mark had never given him a reason to not trust him. So he did what he was told and he took Mark’s hand and let the older omega lead him to were the most of the loud noises were coming from the kitchen. That seemed to be where people argued over things.

The first thing Namjoon noticed was that Jackson wasn’t there, which Namjoon was both sad and happy about. Sad because he really wanted to see Jackson. Happy because arguing and yelling could not be good for him when he was in rut. Everything stopped when Namjoon came into the kitchen, and Jinyoung run a hard through his hair with a big sigh. “Oh I was worried that Mark had ate you at this point. He caught you up to what is going on? Like we are so sorry, we had no idea that it was going to happen. We thought everybody was far away from ruts, heats and whatever else shit Youngjae goes through.”

Namjoon bit his lower lip and nodded. “Don’t apologize it’s biology. It isn’t like he sat down and thought ‘I’m gonna go into rut now’”

That made Yugyeom laugh a little from his spot sitting on the floor eating cereal. He clearly thought that this argument was stupid. “See I wouldn’t put that past him now let’s be honest.”

Jinyoung looked stressed as he ran his hand through his bird nest of hair. But Mark didn’t let him speak up, instead interrupting him. “Namjoon wants to stay and take part.”

That made both Jaebum and Jinyoung stiffen awkwardly in their postures. They both look at Namjoon like they weren’t sure what to say. Instead Jaebum turned towards Mark. “You suggest we let Jackson wild on him. He is not ready for that!”

Mark puffed out his cheeks. “First of all, he is an adult and he can decide what he wants. I know your overactive caveman alpha brain doesn’t see that right now. Secondly, no I’m not! Since when is anybody ever alone with anybody during ruts or heats? You guys are all the human version of teddybears that can’t be left alone. One of us will always be there, and let’s be honest it’s better that he stays with us and Jackson. This is triggered because he is here. Don’t you think that it is better for him and Jackson that he stays here and joins, and if it makes your caveman brain feel better than he will only stay here when it you or Jinyoung here.”

Jaebum sighed at that, he knew he was taking it too far again. “I’m sorry Mark.” He knew the older omega was right, but he just wanted to protect Namjoon even if he didn’t need it.

Then it was Namjoon’s time to actually speak up. “If it goes too far and I’m not okay I can say no. I know that I haven’t done the best with it. But give me a chance to prove it, I know this is a sexual thing and you have a hard time seeing me with this, but it isn’t like I’m untouched and… I would feel better if I were there, this is might fault as well. I just want to make sure Jackson is okay as much as you want to.”

Jaebum still look hesitant until Jinyoung lightly touched his shoulder. “He is right and you know it, I will take care of him and make sure he is all ready. You go to your meeting. I promise you the dorm will still stand when you are back.”

Oh so there were the real issue. “Okay… Just call me if there is any issues we can all comeback!”

Jinyoung laughed a soft laughter. “I can handle it, now go! The quicker you go the faster you come back.”

Jaebum sighed, it seemed that it was a thing sighing was thing, and he called out for Youngjae and Yugyeom who quickly gathered their things. Namjoon knew that while companies made sure not everybody were busy doing a heat or rut they couldn’t deal with everybody taking days off. So the fact that they had places to be wasn’t to hard to believe.

He had kinda zoned out until he felt Jinyoung grab his cheeks. “I need you to understand that you can say stop anytime. No matter how far Jackson is gone in his rut he will and so will the rest of us. We want you to enjoy this time, also I am not letting anybody fuck you, other things maybe, but not that. Not while the rut can go to your head, do you understand that?”

Jinyoung’s tone left no room for argument so Namjoon just nodded agreeing with him. After all he did found it acceptable, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it yet. “Is BamBam with him now?” The youngest omega was the only person missing, and Namjoon was damn sure that they hadn’t left him alone.

Ruts were different from heats, while heats could be taken care of by just one person or even by yourself as Mark had proven. Ruts need people, and they first start after an alpha has joined a pack. While yes they were sexual they weren’t about reproduction like heats were. Namjoon knew from biology that some alphas didn’t even knot during a heat, it was about having their pack around them.

Namjoon always found them to be a stupid idea. He still to this day thought they were stupid, but stupid things that smelled good. “Yes Bammie is…”

“Whore,” it came helpfully from Mark who was gathering water bottles, “pack bicycle, thirsty ass bitch, knot slut, any combination of those words.”

Jinyoung looked like he wanted to give up on the world. “You can't… I… Whatever “

“Hey he calls himself that, but should we go and save Jackson from him or just...?”

Namjoon looked confused now. “Wouldn’t it be the other way around? Saving BamBam from Jackson.”

“I keep forgetting you have never slept with BamBam. If you are under the impression that anybody has control over BamBam sexually you are going to be disappointed. Even if you tie him up and gag him… he is still in control,” Mark laughed, “now come on slowpokes.”

With what looked like tons of water bottles and protein bars he wandered towards the second nest leaving Jinyoung and Namjoon to kinda waddle after him. The sight that greeted Namjoon the second he looked into the nest could not be described any other way than amazing. BamBam and Jackson were completely naked both standing on the knees with Jackson arm holding BamBam to his chest, and because Namjoon had amazing timing the second he entered the door a high moan was heard as BamBam came over himself and the bedsheets. Holy fuck.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of next chapter is going to be smut!
> 
> Other than that, get ready Saturday for a very 'special' part of the story!
> 
> Oh and did I tell you? That guy who is against the general agenda? yeah he is going to get it his way XD Also Friday I am uploading 'The day Ravi decided he was going to be pack alpha' as a side story to this story!


	38. APRILS FOOLS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS AN APRIL FOOLS!!!!!

***** MASSIVE TIMESKIP ******

 

Namjoon sighed heavily as he stretched in the chair, finally he was finally done with the track. Everybody else had left many hours ago, but he had refused to move until he was done with this. Even Yoongi had left, and that man didn’t know how to take breaks or stop working.

The BTS omega could almost feel his spine popping as he stretched, he reached for his phone to message that he was on his way home, but as the idiot he were he had forgotten to charge it, leaving it to die on him the second he looked at it.

He just shrugged, his pack knew that he would be home at some point they trusted him, even if they did worry about him sometimes.

It didn’t take Namjoon very long to pack the rest of his stuff up, and lock the studio. He enjoyed the cold winter chill as he decided to walk home instead. Nobody was out at this time, which meant he could go around without worrying about everybody noticing who he was, which was nice.

The dorm was dark when he got to it, but the air was nice telling him that people were actually home. He tiredly made his way to the nest rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand trying to stay awake.

As he managed to find his way into the nest his pack was one big mess of people in the bed, crawling to his normal spot between the packs only other omega and pack alpha. He felt an arm around his waist as he got pulled closer to his pack alpha and a sleepy voice asked confused from behind him. “Joonie? It’s 3 am.

“Sorry.” Namjoon yawned as he felt the older omega cuddle up behind him entwining their fingers giving them a light squeeze. “I finished the song.”

The young baby pack alpha mumbled out. “Can both of you just sleep. I am so tired.”

“Sorry Hwasa.” Both Solar and Namjoon mumbled out both omegas clearly tired as Namjoon kissed Hwasa’s collarbone before falling asleep. For the first time in so long… He was happy and safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... everything good have to end at some point! Thanks for reading!


	39. Your stealing glances, Make my lips dry up, Haven't felt this nervous in a while, I can't do anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter was An April Fools for people who haven't guessed it yet ^^  
> Also can we have a moment of silence for the over 100 people who unsubscribed to his story XD  
> Last but not least, I have a few things to say in the end of the chapter so please read ^^

The scent of Jackson’s rut hit Namjoon in the face like a knockout punch. He had of course smelled ruts before, but the only time he had been in the same room as somebody in rut was when Kookie presented. At that time he hadn’t even presented and he had wanted to almost jump the younger. But now even though he had presented he felt like he control over it, he still wanted to touch Jackson he still wanted to submit, but he could control it.

He couldn’t explain it, but knowing that BamBam was already with him that he was already making sure that Jackson was getting what he needed somehow calmed him. Was this what really being an omega was about? He looked confused at Mark who still had a soft grip on Namjoon’s hand, luckily Mark seemed to have taken a class in ‘how to understand your Namjoon 101’ and he just smiled softly and nodded as to telling him that it was all normal.

It seemed that even being fucked couldn’t keep BamBam quite for long. “Namjoon?! Mark you deserve a nobel peace prize!”

Namjoon kinda wanted to argue that that wasn’t what the nobel peace prize was about, but Mark was there before him. “It was his own idea, he wanted to help.”

Jackson’s eyes were still a little hazed out, but he didn’t seem gone like Jungkook had done under his rut when Namjoon had seen him. But that might be because he already had stated his claim on one person, his voice was hoarse and a little worried as it zoned in on Namjoon. “Are you sure that is a good idea? I don’t want to hurt him by accident.”

Namjoon was ready to argue that he trusted Jackson, but he never got to as everybody started laughing out loud. Jinyoung just looked at Jackson like he was an idiot. “I know you like to believe that you are big and scary since you are an alpha, but you are about as a scary as hamster. Do I need you to remind you that you almost cried over a rollercoaster? Also he is going to join us yes, but you are going to be fucking him. Secondly, even if you had it in you to hurt anybody you think we would let you do it? Mark had a point this is triggered because of Mark’s joining the pack and Namjoon being around you all the time. It is better to sooth your alpha.”

Jackson still didn’t look convinced, but his confused look turned whiny as BamBan crawled away from him and towards the edge of the bed that way removing Jackson from still inside of him. For a second the alpha looked like he wanted to make grabby hands towards the omega leaving his side, but him seem to just settle for low whine. BamBam though didn’t seem to be over grabby hands as he clearly signalled for Namjoon that he wanted him to join him on the bed.

Namjoon only took a second to think about it, while he was still feeling shy and embarrassed he also really did want this. He needed to trust that BamBam and the rest of them knew what the best thing for him and his body was. They had promised him that Jackson wouldn’t be doing… that… to him, since he wasn’t sure he was ready for that, and he wasn’t sure that the first time he wanted it to be while Jackson was in rut.

Namjoon didn’t even manage to get that close until BamBam grabbed the bottom of this shirt he was wearing pulling him down onto the bed so he could kiss him. BamBam kissed like he did everything else eagerly and putting everything he had into it. BamBam smelled really good there was no way to get around it. Not only had his strawberry scent reach max strawberry freshness it was also mixed with Jackson’s rut filled scent of herbal tea.

Namjoon lost the ability to really notice much else around him as he just let BamBam pull and arrange him as he wanted to. He trusted BamBam, they ended up on their knees BamBam’s naked chest against Namjoon’s still clothed chest. Luckily BamBam had grown past his tiny state meaning Namjoon’s neck didn’t hurt too much as he had to lean down a little to kiss the omega. While he had found it interesting and exciting with Yugyeom where he was smaller he had found that he really did enjoy being the tallest. It didn’t even have anything to do with dominance he just liked it.

He tried to meet BamBam’s eager kissing technique mirroring what the younger was doing to him, how he was seeking out Namjoon’s tongue and almost trying to wrap around it even though that was not how tongues works! Namjoon had lost himself so much in the kiss and focusing on breathing through his nose. Why was kissing so much more complicated than in the movies?!

He didn’t know what to do with his hands. They were just awkwardly hanging down his side not really knowing what to do until he felt another warm and clearly shirtless body behind him that he could identify as Mark by his sweet vanilla scent that mixed so well with his pack mates.

Mark helped guide Namjoon’s hands, one into BamBam’s soft hair cradling his head and another onto his hip pulling the younger closer. When BamBam finally broke the kiss and allowed him to once again to return to the mortal plain it took him more than a few seconds at orienting himself about what was going on. Jinyoung and Jackson were standing almost mirrored at him and the other omega with Jinyoung behind Jackson both on their knees with the beta holding Jackson’s hands behind his back while he was petting is thighs and whispering something Namjoon couldn’t hear into his ear.

Jackson’s eyes were both hungry but also content. He was clearly happy for now with just watching and having Jinyoung take care of his body. Namjoon blushed a little since Jackson was still completely naked with his entire body on show for Namjoon. So yeah okay Jackson’s body was great, his muscles were defined and stomach flat, thighs lean and strong and his erection somehow already present again even though it wasn’t that long since he came.

Was that a rut thing? Being able to get hard that quickly after? Namjoon didn’t get long to think about it before both omegas had decided that his neck was the perfect canvas for them to show off their artistic skills in hickey making. Namjoon couldn’t stop the moan from being let out as he had to close his eyes to focus on actually not falling and letting the other support his weight.

It was almost too much with everybody’s attention on him. He didn’t know what to do with himself and he felt how his body went rigid instead of relaxed as his thought took over how he wasn’t good enough to have all this attention. The thing with having people this physically close to you is that they can feel when your body language changes. Both Mark and BamBam stopped their painting of his neck and BamBam this time was the quickest at figuring out what was wrong. Turned out he had also taken classes in ‘how to understand your Namjoon 101’. “Joonie focus on me for a second.” Namjoon blinked a few time quickly after each other to focus himself looking down on BamBam a little confused.

Both of the other omegas knew that just because Namjoon for the most time looked like he was mostly okay stuff like what happened to him doesn’t just go away. It isn’t just a given, it was the same reason that he wouldn’t really be doing anything with Jackson. It was important that they took it slow. “Do you want us to slow down?” Mark questioned so the other two members on the side couldn’t hear it. It wasn’t in anybodies best interest to worry Jackson, an alpha in rut was meant to protect and stuff like that. Knowing that one of the omegas was struggling wouldn’t be good for him. Especially when he really couldn’t make it better only worse.

Namjoon still looked confused, he really didn’t want them to stop. He just felt overwhelmed he couldn’t even really understand what he wanted this was all so confusing. “I don’t know.” He kept his voice a low whisper as well. “I… I feel… weird… overwhelmed, but I don’t want to stop, it is hard to explain.”

BamBam decided to try something else. “What about we undress Markie-pooh? He is a little overdressed don’t you think?”

That was something Namjoon could get behind. Something that moved the focus from him but still let him be part of it. It seemed he wasn’t that ready for everybody to be looking at him. He had kinda expected it for it to be slow and sensual for them to slowly undress Mark. But he shouldn’t have expected that after all he did know BamBam, as the youngest omega removed himself a little from Namjoon after a very short kiss and then tackled Mark to the bed. Something that made Namjoon fall half back in bed with a laugh. BamBam always had the ability to make him feel better and less self conscious. That was one of the reasons why BamBam was BamBam, why he was amazing.

Mark laughed a little as Namjoon ghosted his hand over his ribs while helping BamBam undress him. “That tickles.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t wear so many layers.” Namjoon teased, he felt a lot more comfortable like this and did kinda enjoy more and more of Mark’s pale skin that was getting revealed.

BamBam giggled a little at  this. “It is much worse when he wears weird as fuck belt. It is impossible to get off, and nothing kills a boner more than having him struggle to get it off while you can clearly see him wet his pants because I swear to god he produces enough slick for an army of omegas!” That made Mark blush and suddenly the normally cocky omega tried to cover his face.

“I told you I can’t stop it! It is not my fault!” That made Namjoon think of that morning that felt like it was years ago. When Mark had been in preheat how his slick had run down his thighs even without Namjoon touching his ass. He remembered how good it had tasted and his thought at that moment. He knew what he wanted to try, but he wasn’t sure how to ask for it.

BamBam who while teasing Mark and pulling down his pants had still kept a focus on Namjoon noticed his change in demeanour. “Namjoon?”

Namjoon felt frustrated with himself, he didn’t know why he was constantly so shy and awkward he just couldn’t stop it. “I… there is this thing I want to try.”

That got both of the omegas attention. It was the first time Namjoon had actually said there was something sexually he wanted. All other times he had just went with the flow. Mark reached out to touch Namjoon’s still clothed thigh from his position on his back on the bed. “You know we won’t judge you for stuff like this right? Like there is nothing to weird.”

Namjoon swallowed heavily, maybe it was the scent of Jackson’s rut that still made his head spring that gave him the confidence. “I want to eat Mark out… Please?” He added the last thing because he was a very polite guy… sometimes.

“Yes! Yes! Good idea, best idea you have ever had!” Mark seemed very eager for it as he started kicking of his jeans almost hitting BamBam who laughed a little.

He looked up at Namjoon with a grin. “Should I be insulted that it is Mark’s ass you want to eat?”

It was meant as a joke and Namjoon knew it, but he felt like he had to apologise. “I am sorry! I didn’t mean it like that, it is just he was on my lap and slick! My hands, and it was so good! And the smell” Namjoon was rambling at this point trying to explain that it wasn’t that he prefered Mark over BamBam. They were both equal in his mind, that neither were better than the other.

Mark smacked BamBam’s naked thigh. “See now you made him shy with your shitty joke! Namjoon he was just trying to be funny, plus Jackson’s cum is still inside him and nobody needs that.” He got a return whine from BamBam who was rubbing the red spot on his thigh.

“Mark is mean.”

“Mark wants to get his ass eaten, so now please remove yourself from between his legs so he can get on his hands and knees you are in the way.”

Namjoon giggled at that, it was kinda cute and a little weird hearing Mark talk about himself like that. Which had clearly been Mark’s goal as he winked at Namjoon. “Can you do me a favour if you are comfortable with it?” He got a nod from Namjoon who were eager to please. “Undress please.”

At that Namjoon did hesitate a second. He was still a little (a lot) uncomfortable with his body. But he knew they wouldn’t judge him for being a little pudgy. They would never do that to him so he started undressing himself slowly and a little hesitant.

As Namjoon kicked off the loose sleep shorts he had been wearing he heard a loud moan this time from Jackson who’s eyes were still focused on the omegas playing around. Not that Jinyoung seemed to mind that the attention wasn’t on him as he was resting his head on Jackson’s shoulder stare also resting on the omega’s while he was lazily jerking off Jackson. The way his grip was and the way that Jackson was trying to fuck the fist while half growls and moans were forced from him made Namjoon realize that Jinyoung’s grip was nowhere near tight enough to get Jackson off. Jinyoung was really just teasing him.

When Namjoon turned back to the omegas he himself couldn’t stop a moan from being released from his mouth. The sight that greeted him was a Mark on his hands and knees and BamBam holding his cheeks apart presenting the wet hole to Namjoon, and oh god Mark were so wet. So wet it was almost insane clear slick was sliding from the hole running down to his thighs leaving behind little marks. Fuck.

“I told you! He is as wet as a whore, it is insane!” Mark seemed to have enough of all this talking.

He shook his head a little as he fell down on elbows instead presenting his ass so prettily. “Can one of you just do something now, or I will leave and find a toy that doesn’t feel like having a conversation first.”

BamBam exchange a grin with Namjoon. “Princess get’s what princess wants.” He just grinned before giving Namjoon a kiss. “One last thing though, can I you know… Touch your ass while you do it. I promise if you are uncomfortable I will stop.”

Namjoon was quick to nod at that, he knew how sensitive and good an omega’s ass is supposed to feel and he hadn’t gotten to try it yet. If anybody knew how to make him feel good it would be BamBam right? “I trust you.” And that was the last thing Namjoon said before he got down on his own hands and knees mind set on at least trying to blow Mark’s mind.

While he had never eaten anybody out, or had it done on himself, he had watched enough porn to knew at least the basics about it. Okay and maybe he had fantasized about it after he had gotten a taste of Mark’s slick last time.

He started with letting the flat of tongue run right over Mark’s entrance trying to get as much as the sweet amazing slick he could. There was no way he could really explain the taste that exploded onto his tongue. It was better than anything he had ever imagined, better than the taste he had gotten last time and he moaned out, done with trying to hide his sounds anymore.

He decided to rest his weight on one arm instead as he used the other to grab at Mark’s hip to drag him closer to his mouth as he eagerly licked up all the slick that had already escaped Mark. He didn’t even stop to focus on BamBam’s hands sliding up his inner thighs, he was to focused on now driving the tip of his tongue into the place where that wonderful slick came from.

Namjoon’s point from weeks ago was still standing. He had no idea how the rest of Got7 weren’t living in Mark’s ass, it was so good and it tasted so good! The taste of Mark on his tongue and the scent of Jackson’s rut in the air, god this was heaven wasn’t it? He hadn’t even noticed how he had eagerly started to lick directly at the hole, it was so fucking mindblowing it was insane.

It was first then he felt his own cheeks getting spread and cold air hitting his entrance. Normally he would have felt shy and embarrassed, but at this point he were so busy with the wonders that there were Mark’s ass that he didn’t even have the time to focus on it. He could trust BamBam! He knew he could, BamBam would never hurt him. Something small and wet was touching Namjoon’s entrance, he knew that he couldn’t produce slick himself yet. While yes it was a hit to his confidence for some reason he couldn’t explain, he also knew that it was going to be fine… at least he hoped.

He had never before had anything inside him, and the feeling was what felt like BamBam’s pinky breached him was… good… it felt good. A soft kiss was placed right on his upper thigh. “Good just relax for me.”

Namjoon didn’t really focus on BamBam’s words, he focused on fucking his tongue in out of Mark a thing that he had found gave the most noise from Mark and made even more of that amazing slick run out of him. Namjoon at this point was well aware that his entire lower face was probably covered in slick, but he couldn’t get himself to care even one bit about it.

As BamBam slid two fingers into him and Namjoon was forced to stop his eager rimming of Mark to try and calm himself down for a second. He couldn’t stop himself from moving himself back on BamBam’s fingers, eagerly chasing something he himself didn’t know what was.

He took a second to look over at Jinyoung and Jackson, but they were no longer standing chest to back instead Jackson was on his back on the bed as Jinyoung was slowly oh so slowly fucking himself on Jackson’s cock. The tight grip he had on Jinyoung’s hip was starting to mark red finger prints on the soft skin of the beta’s hips. But it was clear that Jinyoung was still in control and Namjoon managed to hear a few of the sentence exchanged between them. “They look so pretty doesn’t they? Our omegas?”

Something in Namjoon preened with the thought of belonging to somebody. He of course knew that Jinyoung didn’t mean it in a degrading or mean way, and that he himself was his own and even the pack he joined wouldn’t own him… but it was still a nice thought. He kissed the spot where Mark’s ass and thigh meet getting another whiny moan from Mark and Namjoon noticed how Mark was jerking himself off at the same time.

“Look at BamBam opening him up with his own slick, some of your own cum is probably there. You like that don’t you, silly alpha.” Jackson didn’t say anything just a low growl as his eyes met Namjoon’s. Jackson’s eyes were dark and clearly gone in rut, but he wasn’t like alphas were always made out to be soulless beings with no trace of themselves. He could still see Jackson in those pretty eyes as they smiled even if Jackson’s mouth wasn’t able to as it was busy releasing deep groans and growls.

Namjoon wanted to return it, but at that moment BamBam hit something inside him. He of course knew what the prostate was and he knew what it did, but he had never thought that it would feel this good as he couldn’t stop the full body shiver that was released. He gave a few kitty licks to Mark’s entrance gathering the slick that had gathered there. While he could feel Mark was full on shaking now, clearly close to coming. God Namjoon hoped he was close, because he himself was so close already.

He eagerly went back to work, determined to make Mark come before him. That turned out to be impossible as the world was against him. BamBam who apparently seemed to have some amazing skill at fingering people was now hitting his prostate with every push into Namjoon. Mark’s noises were so pretty, but that wasn’t what really sealed it all, instead it was the warm overheated hand he felt on his thigh. A hand that very clearly didn’t belong to BamBam but a certain alpha.

Namjoon had to bite his lip not to moan out Jackson’s name as he came the hardest he ever had before, his mouth on Mark’s ass, BamBam’s fingers inside and Jackson’s hand on his thigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay let's go over a few things:  
> 1) I wrote my first side story to this story and if anybody want to read it I would make me very happy, it is here:  
> [Hidden Omega Side story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10509969)
> 
> 2) Secondly so Namjoon is only going to have 1 time which each pack before he makes his choice and I know a lot of people want him to move to the next pack already so I am giving you a choice... One more smut solo RapSon scene (Jackson x Namjoon) or should Namjoon just move on?  
> [HERE IS THE POLL!](http://www.strawpoll.me/12669485)
> 
> 3) I am now taking request for stories about all other packs than BTS and Exo after Lu Han, Tao, Kris have left ^^


	40. Any Time I Can’t Get Enough Of Your Kindness, Sweetness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like always some notes for you lovely people:
> 
> Since a few people have asked here is the order of packs which Namjoon is going to:
> 
> Hot7  
> B.a.p  
> Block B  
> Monsta X
> 
> In that order, in between he will have moments with both Big Bang and BTS, we will also go to 'catching up with BTS' but I am slowing that down since Namjoon's story line is very slow and I need everybody to end up at the same place at the same time.

The rest of Jackson’s rut was memorable if not at times a little weird. Namjoon himself came more times without an alpha even really touching him. Once was when Mark decided that he would pay Namjoon back from his apparently above average rimming skill. He had tried to turn Mark down since he didn’t produce slick, but the older omega refused to take no as an answer, which was how he ended up on his back with his legs over Mark’s shoulders while the other eagerly ate him out.

The pleasure was intense, and the only thing really keeping him grounded was Jinyoung’s soft petting of his hair, while Jackson and BamBam were going at it again. He could still feel Jackson’s eyes burning on him, but BamBam was nice enough to do his best to distract the alpha knowing that he was making Namjoon uncomfortable.

When Namjoon came he felt like he could sleep for the next century. In his defense it wasn’t like he had really ever tried to build up his sexual stamina. When Jaebum and the rest returned they swapped out leaving the alphas alone.

Namjoon was almost out of the room when he heard a rough voice behind him. “I know I can’t really touch him or anything, but can I atleast get a kiss before you guys go… This doesn’t feel right.”

The question was clearly asked to Jinyoung who had found himself being Namjoon’s kind of guardian. But Namjoon didn’t need the permission from the beta as he took a few steps to the bed bowing down to give Jackson a chaste a kiss. When he was the one who started it, it was a lot easier dealing with the fact that it was an alpha, and he did want a kiss himself.

When it was clear that both of them wanted to make more of the kiss, they both also knew why they couldn’t and both pulled away. Which was good for multiple reasons one of them being that Namjoon wasn’t sure he could even go again if he wanted.

When they were all pulled into the kitchen apparently Jinyoung wouldn’t let them sleep until they had replaced all the calories they had lost. Namjoon was surprised seeing Youngjae sitting there shoveling in cereal like it was nobody's business. “Shouldn’t you be with Jackson?” Namjoon couldn’t stop the words from escaping him, since the younger hadn’t been with them when they had their turn with the in rut alpha.

They wouldn’t leave out Youngjae right? He was still respected as a beta right? Namjoon was worried for a second until Youngjae just smiled at him. “I choose not to. I will help the next team that goes in there instead. I don’t feel it right now, plus I really don’t want to be caught up in the all alpha smexxy time going on in there. Rough sex is not a turn on for me, but that necklace of hickeys you are wearing looks good on you. Did our vampires get to you?”

Namjoon flushed a deep red colour. He had completely forgotten about the marks that the other omegas had placed on him. He didn’t get a chance to answer before he was being captured in a back hug. “He is so pretty like this right!?”

How did BamBam even have the energy to be like this after all they had just been part of. Namjoon could feel his smile into the naked of Namjoon’s back, while he had put on his shorts again he had decided to leave off his shirt like the rest. “BamBam you are making him embarrassed.”

It was Jinyoung who seemed to have taken pity on him as he placed a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder and sent him a kind smile. “You are okay right? It wasn’t to much for you?”

Namjoon shook his head. “I’m fine… I just… uhm.. “ he pointed to his neck, what happened to him being a smart person? Why couldn’t he seem to be able to say what he wanted recently? It was all stupid!

Jinyoung understood him though, since apparently everybody had taken ‘How to understand your Namjoon 101’. “It is a little overwhelming carrying somebody's mark on your body. Even if it isn’t permanent like the bite. I thought they would have a little self control, that was my mistake I clearly expected to much out of them.”

“No it is okay! I promise. I… I kinda like it, it is like something inside me is happy about it.” It was hard for Namjoon to explain, but Mark was there to pick up his slack.

“It is your inner omega. I had it the same way, it is since you are over 21 and still not bound by a pack. It will get worse the older you get, but temporary marking like this will help you. It lets your body and inner omega feel that you are willing to bond with people just waiting for the right pack.” It was so easy for not only Namjoon but the rest of Got7 to forget that Mark had only just joined them. He had been unbound for 4 years before he finally took the bite, that was a long time.

The rest of Got7 got a little silent after that. So much had happened since Mark took the bite that they had almost forgotten it was less than 2 weeks ago since he took it. “You feeling okay Markie-pooh?” The tone was teasing, but it was clear that BamBam actually meant it, and was worried about Mark.

Mark just rolled his eyes. “This is why I haven’t brought it up. I swear to god you guys are way to overprotective! I am fine, if something was wrong or my body was rejecting the bite I would pull somebody aside to talk about it. You trust me to do that right?”

Namjoon wanted to point out the time Mark had come drunk to him, but he also knew the reason Mark was so out of it was because it hadn’t been his secret to keep. It hadn’t been him who had suffered. Thinking of that night made Namjoon rub his cheek where Yoongi had hit him. He kinda missed the fiery alpha, he knew that Yoongi really cared for him, right? He had just been doing tough love.

Youngjae was the first to speak up, while many people called him oblivious he really wasn’t he just tried to keep out of arguments and stuff like that most of the time. “Of course we do Mark, but we are also your pack now it is natural for us to be worried about you, it means we care.”

Mark puffed out his cheeks like a chipmunk and pouted. “You are all so protective that you should think that you were all alphas.” With that the weird tension in the room was cleared, but it made Namjoon think.

It was clear that Mark was still getting used to being in the pack. His problem was that he was very much an individual, sometimes he felt that them caring and being overprotective meant that they didn’t trust him. It was the same issues that they had when they courted him. They had problems accepting how Mark sometimes needed time for himself that he wasn’t like BamBam or even Youngjae, who took attention and sucked it up and turned it into their life fuel. But Namjoon had hoped that the longer they were a pack the more it would work out.

He knew with Jackson’s issues with scent they had some long battles ahead of them, but Mark had picked them. That meant that he believed in it as well. Which gave Namjoon hope, that they could do this, and maybe with him as well some day. He still remembered what Daesung had said to him, he needed to give everybody and himself a fair chance. That he would know when it was right to join somebody and that he couldn’t push himself to feel ready.

He smiled a little sleepily when he sat down at the table to eat. It was easier to eat when he was tired like this and he didn’t need to think about how much he had to exercise to burn it all off. He could just tiredly eat, even taken a few bites that Jinyoung were feeding him to tired to really think about. It was nice to not think about it.

He could faintly remember a few coos as he was pulled into the rut free nest where he was cuddled up between the two betas falling asleep with the two calming scents around him. Namjoon wasn’t sure how long he was napping, but he was aware there was only one person in the nest when he woke up. It wasn’t any of the people that he had fallen asleep with instead the scent of soft butterscotch told him that it was instead Yugyeom cuddling him from behind.

It was hard to explain why it was so much easier for him to accept Yugyeom close to him compared to Jaebum and Jackson. First Namjoon thought it was the age, but after he had meet Jungkook it was clear that age was not a factor. So the only logical reason was that while Yugyeom wasn’t a full on soft alpha, he wasn’t a full on aggressive and normal alpha, he was kinda soft and sweet around the edges, and his scent much less aggressive than normal alphas.

Namjoon turned around in his arms cuddled into the crook of his neck. Even with his still sleep heavy eyes he could see the aggressive marks spanning most of his neck and shoulder around his bite. He still smelled faintly of both Jackson’s rut and Jaebum himself it was actually really nice as he cuddled closer, happy that Yugyeom had at least put on his shorts.

Yugyeom seemed to wake a little as he tightened his grip on Namjoon, but not tight enough that it actually would hurt Namjoon or that he couldn’t get out if he wanted. “You awake?” The baby alpha’s voice was soft enough that he wouldn’t actually wake up Namjoon if the older was sleeping.

“Nah, how long was I out?” Namjoon yawned a little, he was warm and safe. “Is it over?”

Yugyeom clearly caught Namjoon’s yawning as he couldn’t stop himself from yawning as well. “A few hours, and no. Normally it would be around the end now but with Mark’s bite and you being here means that it had adjusted for three omegas so it is going to take time before it is over.”

“Who is with him now?”

“Jaebum and Jinyoung, Youngjae and BamBam were there earlier, but they had to go and train. Mark decided to join them because and I quote ‘This place stinks’, which I think is Mark talk for ‘This is turning me on to much, and I’m not feeling it.’”

Namjoon giggled a little and not for the first time since he got here he was struck with how much the younger reminded him of Jungkook. It just made him feel a little worse about how much they had failed Jungkook and now the baby alpha thought that he had failed them. “You don’t want to join them as well?”

“Maybe, but I needed a nap as well and you looked warm and smelled nicely! Your scent is slowly getting stronger. I’m not sure if it that is the medicine is finally working or if  Jackson’s rut is pulling it out of you, but I like it alot. It fits you very well.”

That actually made Namjoon happy to hear, since he couldn’t really smell his own scent he had to trust everybody else to tell him when his scent was getting stronger. Also maybe he kinda liked the fact that people seemed to like it. Having a scent that was hated by everybody including himself, it was nice to finally feel accepted.

“They did a job on you though.” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from teasing pressing a little on one of the marks on his shoulder. What he didn’t expect was for Yugyeom to blush and look a way. “I’m sorry to far?” Namjoon was quick in excusing himself, he never meant to make Yugyeom uncomfortable.

Yugyeom just laughed a little higher than his normal voice. “It’s not that, they do it because I like it?”

Namjoon nodded a little hesitant, he could kinda understand it. It had felt good when they had been placed him and he told Yugyeom that, but the younger corrected him. “That is not what I meant. I like when they are on me. I don’t take scent marks as well as omegas or even betas do. But these,” he motioned towards the many red marks on him, “they stay on me. That make me feel like I belong. It is hard to explain, I know that I am not actually a soft alpha, but sometimes I feel like I am.”

Yugyeom was clearly struggling in explaining himself, and Namjoon could feel the leader inside himself coming to the surface as he lightly petted Yugyeom’s hair. “It doesn’t matter you know that right? Everybody loves you like you are, you don’t need to be a soft alpha for that. And even if you aren’t you are still soft around the edges, a giant softie is what you are. Why else do you think that you are the only alpha that never seems to make me uncomfortable?”

It was good to see that he hadn’t lost his touch with knowing exactly what to say as Yugyeom sent him a huge smile like a puppy. Namjoon could almost imagine a little tail flopping around. “Thank you, it is hard to explain it to people. People just think I’m weird.”

“The only thing weird about you is the fact that I think they have fed you growth hormones and maybe that haircut as well.” Namjoon was feeling like he could finally joke with people again, like before everybody had presented.

Yugyeom whined again like a puppy. “It is not my fault everybody else is short!” He hid his head in Namjoon’s shoulder this time.

Yeah Namjoon was happy like that. Yugyeom and he talked a little bit more before they both made it to the kitchen. The second nest was mainly scent proof and soundproof so while they could still smell a little of Jackson’s rut it was mostly like they were alone. Turned out that neither of them should really be trusted in a kitchen so they ate some ramen instead. Light conversation flowing between them until Namjoon almost dropped his bowl on the floor since he was still the most destructive human in existence.

Yugyeom took the bowl from him setting it down and then asking him. “Do you want to go and see what they are up to and if they need 2 more people?”

Namjoon was hesitant, he wasn’t sure if he could be touched by this many alphas. “Yugyeom… I still struggle with alphas”

The maknae looked a little hesitant before asking instead. “What if only Jinyoung touches you? I promise we can keep Jackson in control.”

Namjoon trusted them, he really did so he nodded a little hesitant. “Okay,” so maybe he really wanted to see Jackson again in that wonderful smell of rut. He looked really good with that glaze over his eyes and maybe it was nice to feel wanted when he couldn’t even look in the mirror without feeling disgusted. “Are you sure that you guys don’t just want some time alone? I know it is weird having to babysit me like that.”

“Namjoon we all have moment like this. I have helped Jinyoung more than once running interference when Mark needs to be left alone. Sometimes Jaebum and Jackson need to be kept from each other during a tough heat. I promise you, this is really nothing.”

Ah so Yugyeom was the one helping Jinyoung. He should have expected that shouldn’t he. No disrespect to BamBam or Youngjae, but they were both as depending on physical contact on the two alphas and they didn’t always understand that Mark wasn’t like that.

That was what lead to the third time Namjoon came during the rut. It was very different from the first time. Yugyeom and Jaebum were a lot harsher with the alpha than both Jinyoung and BamBam. While Jinyoung had been in control over Jackson it wasn’t like this. Namjoon was almost scared when Jaebum forced Jackson to present his scent gland to him and show who was really the pack alpha.

Namjoon almost wanted to stop them, afraid that somebody was getting hurt. But Jinyoung stopped him softly petting Namjoon’s hip. “It’s okay, look at them. What Jaebum is doing is grounding him, forcing himself to not lose himself to much to the rut it keeps his mind clear. See it is like the haze is a little gone from his eyes. Jaebum would never do anything that could hurt him, problem is since Jackson can’t smell his own scent or any scent at all his rut really fucks with his body. Every rut is different of course, Jaebum’s nearly non sexual at all. Yugyeom’s is much more about him needing to feel that he still belongs to us instead of us belong to him like it is with Jackson. No rut is the same, it shows their position in a pack.”

The younger nodded a little looking at the three alphas half rolling around until it ended up with Jackson between Yugyeom’s legs and rutting against his ass again making Namjoon a little worried. “He is going to fuck Yugyeom while in rut right?”

Jinyoung shook his head rubbing his hand infront of Namjoon’s shirtless chest the sight in front of him had started turning him on. “He can’t really fuck Yugyeom at all without hurting him, and even in his rut he knows that, he just going to rub off against him. Yugyeom can really only take Mark and BamBam without issues and me and Youngjae if we are careful and prepare him well. Since he isn’t a soft alpha, his body can’t really take it, but it is okay.”

Namjoon bit his lip to hold back a moan, not wanting to pull attention on himself instead keeping his focus on the three alphas on the bed close to them. As Jinyoung had predicted Jackson was rutting against Yugyeom’s ass with Jaebum softly petting Yugyeom’s hair and at the same time keeping a grip on Jackson’s. Namjoon wasn’t sure if it was to control him or what, but Jinyoung was ready to explain to him. “He likes it, he likes having his hair pulled no matter if it is like this or somebody doing it while he is fucking them.” He gave Namjoon a soft kiss over one of the many hickies the two omegas had placed on him. “I want to try something if you trust me?”

Namjoon was quick to nod, he knew that he could trust Jinyoung. It wasn’t like he would ever do something to hurt him. Jinyoung just smiled “On your back. I want to open you up like BamBam did, but this time you focus on me instead of eating somebody out. I want to see your face when you come and showing me the pleasure of what I do to you.”

That made Namjoon quickly get on his back, still careful to not interrupt the alphas. God the scent was starting to get to Namjoon’s head again and he could clearly see that it was affecting Jinyoung as well, as he a grabbed a bottle of… lube? Oh yeah of course how else would he do it. Namjoon was slow today. He easily opened his legs for Jinyoung to place himself between as the beta guided one of his legs over his shoulder that way exposing his entrance. Namjoon felt a little shy about being bared like that but a soft kiss was placed on his inner thigh which calmed him down a little and only a few second after did he feel the first finger of Jinyoung slowly and oh so softly pressing into him, his body easily accepting it into him.

Even if he wasn’t able to create slick yet, he was still an omega and his body was made for this. God if he had known this would feel so good he would have changed his maturbation habits long ago!

It didn’t take long before Jinyoung let a second finger join him slowly scissoring him open. He had to close his eyes and focus on not being too loud, instead just small mewls coming from his mouth. Again he didn’t know what to do with his hands other than the one pressing on his mouth, that was until he felt another hand find his and intertwine their fingers. It made him open his eyes to look to his side.

It was Yugyeom, he hadn’t even noticed how close they had ended up to the alphas. His position was mirrored to Namjoon’s. Jackson was still rocking almost desperately against him, his face now buried in Yugyeom’s scent gland mouthing and biting at it placing more marks. That was when he noticed Jaebum’s heated eyes on him watching what him and Jinyoung was doing. But his smile was calming when he smiled at Namjoon clearly showing that he was still in control of himself and he was respecting Namjoon as he petted the baby alpha’s hair again. “You both look so cute like this.”

Yeah that made the two youngests cheeks flare up and Namjoon wanted to say something, but at that time it seemed that Jinyoung had finally found what he was searching for as he jabbed his fingertips into Namjoon prostate. This time not even Namjoon’s hand in front of his mouth could keep him quiet. He had always known it was natural to him to be loud and this turned out to be the same.

He knew he wasn’t going to last as Jinyoung started massaging his balls in his other hand. “Don’t hide your sounds Joonie, you sound so pretty.” Yugyeom gave his hand a little squeeze and both turned their head to the side their noses were touching making them both smile at each other, until a moan was forced from both of them.

Jinyoung seemed very eager to make Namjoon come and he now had 3 fingers inside of Namjoon pressing on the little nerve inside of Namjoon that made him see stars. He wanted to warn Jinyoung that he was going to come, but he never got to as in that second soft lips were pressed to him and the soft scent of butterscotch took over his senses. When he came it was with a whine of Yugyeom’s name into said alpha’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus christ! I got 400 votes on my poll, and with 78% there will be another smut scene! The thing I want to say to the No people, it isn't going to be with no plot, and it is going to showcase how Namjoon is with alpha's and about half heats!
> 
> Secondly today! I am going to start doing 'Idea Sunday's'  
> This is going to be something where I in detail will write down my idea for an AU and story in the KPOP fandom! Many of these are going to be chaptered stories, that I simply don't have the time to write for you guys... Those will be on my writing tumblr. I am thinking of putting them on Ao3 as well, but I'm not sure if that would be something you guys would want?
> 
> Well over all here is a hint about the first story! It is a urban fantasy, it might drawn some inspiration from Eragon... And let's just say... There might be both RapSon and KookieMonster XD


	41. You're a natural beauty, so unique, so unique, My perfect dear, Be my muse, We're so comfortable together,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I should have uploaded yesterday, but I were at the hospital all day and I forgotten that!
> 
> All this week plus Monday my update schedule is going to be all over the place! Reasons for that being that it is easter, and it is the first time since Summer I don't have to worry about uni work, work or anything. So I am going to get drunk a lot, and help around at the uni bar, there will be updates... Just don't expect a lot out of me.

Namjoon’s life after Jackson’s rut slowed down a lot, and it almost became normal and a routine. He didn’t feel like a guest anymore, he would wake up later than the rest of Got7 his body still craving more sleep with at least one warm body cuddled up to his, most of the time Youngjae who were basically always sleepy.

He would try his best to get out of eating, it wasn’t like he was starving himself he was just trying to keep an idol body! Then he would leave and head to the BigHit building. Many times he would get kisses and hugs from different members of Got7, but it no longer felt like it was because they felt they needed to, but because they wanted to. It was nice to feel like he belonged.

Two days after Jackson’s rut he got called to Bang PD-nim’s office, to be honest he was terrified. Namjoon thought over all the different things that could happen. Was he getting kicked out? Was he going to be removed as the leader of BTS? Was everybody okay!?

He was calmed instantly by the soft smile on the older man's lip. “You worry too much Namjoon.” Was the first thing out of him when Namjoon closed the door behind him.

Namjoon had deep respect for Bang PD-nim. He personally choose Namjoon and he believed in Namjoon when nobody else did. “I’m sorry,”

Bang PD-nim just smiled at him still. “Everything is fine I promise, I just wanted to catch you up on a few things.”

“Yoongi?” Namjoon was eager to hear more news about his BTS pack alpha. He knew that Yoongi had to still be working since he still found traces of him in the studio. Leading him to believe he was working at different times than Namjoon who were still struggling with his stamina to work that long hours.

Bang PD-nim just shook his head. “Yoongi is fine don’t worry, he is working with the same psychiatrist as you. But that is not the point I am pushing back BTS’s comeback.”

“No!” Namjoon quickly realized how rude he seemed and looked away slightly blushing. “I mean, please don’t they all worked very hard on it. Don’t let me be the reason for that. I promise I can keep up.”

The older male signaled for Namjoon to sit down. “This isn’t just about you. I am worried that if we push a comeback now we might break all of you and that is going to be the end of BTS. Plus if we push the Young Forever comeback later it will fit a lot better. Plus it gives you guys more time to write for the next album. You are still all committed to have a solo song each right?”

Namjoon nodded quickly, he knew that it was a big chance they were all getting to have a solo on their next comeback. He knew not every group was lucky enough to have that. “Shouldn’t we be worried about the public forgetting about us?”

Bang PD-nim should have expected this. He knew that Namjoon wouldn’t just accept a break luckily he had a backup plan. “I am thinking of having you do another Japanese comeback? It would be easier for all of you and less stressful. Plus it will give everybody a chance to return to a normal state of mind.”

Namjoon thought it over for a second. It made sense he knew that plus a Japanese comeback would be a good break for everybody. “When did you plan for us to do it?”

“Mid march?”

Another quick think over and Namjoon found that it actually fit perfect. That gave everybody two months of connection with new friends and falling into a more healthy version of their relationship. It was almost perfect it was almost like somebody had planned for this happen who knew what everybody was thinking. “Yes that fits very well.” He couldn’t stop himself from smiling he knew that they were lucky. While it was against the law to work against a pack and deny them basic rights, he also knew that a lot of companies didn’t care about the idols or the packs that worked for them. “Thank you Bang PD-nim.” And he meant it from the bottom of his heart. He knew that it would all be much harder if they had been signed under another company.

Bang PD-nim just smiled at him again looking over his paper. “We have two more things to go over before a let you go home. First of all I want to praise you for how well you dealt with the pack. Splitting them up like this is very healthy for them,” he sighed a little, “One of my concerns with only having one group and everybody else working here being so far away from you guys in ages. I am always worried that you guys are isolated from everybody who isn’t part of the pack. That is one of the reason I have always told all of you that it is okay for all of you to spend time with other packs, that we are going to find a way to make it work.”

Namjoon was actually a little surprised. He knew that they weren’t just a group and company that it was much more like a family here, but it was always surprising for him to hear how much people actually cared. “Thank you, I… I hope it is enough.” He thought for a second about if he should keep one of his concerns to himself, but he decided against it. He could trust the older man. “I am worried about Jimin, everybody has issues, but he is so good at hiding his issues even from himself. I don’t think he actually understands that his mindset is toxic.”

That was what the beta had feared, he wouldn’t break the secrets he held for Yoongi, but he also wanted to offer the young leader som help. “It is partly my fault, while I can’t tell you anything since it isn’t my secret, but Yoongi he turned out a lot more troubled than I first had thought. It seems like he thought he was out of his past, but it slowly sneaked up on him. I am not saying that he should be forgiven for what he has done, but I think the only way to fix this if for them to sit down right before you guys go to Japan and talk about it… And sadly I think it is something they have to do without you.”

Namjoon nodded in agreeance. “I never blamed Yoongi, looking back at it with a more clear mind it is clear that he was getting worse with time. We are all victims of our past. Yoongi is no different.”

While the older man didn’t completely agree with Namjoon he went to the next topic he wanted to discuss with the young leader. “As far as I understand you are going to be courted by Block B as well?”

At that Namjoon blushed a little, he still had a hard time understanding that so many different people seemed to want him. “Yeah, I am spending time with Got7 right now.”

That made the beta laugh. “Oh I know, you hadn’t noticed that dispatch has been following you?”

To be honest Namjoon really hadn’t. He had been way to focused to finally getting inside the warm dorm and to get the hugs that he found himself craving during the day. “I’m sorry! I am going to do better!”

“You really need to stop blaming yourself, there really isn’t an issue. Most of the fans seem surprisingly supportive. It helps a lot that you guys and Got7 have always seemed close. That and now that you are an omega people support your right to pick your own pack. Most seem happy that you’re compared to the maknae line and actually seem to think about which pack you are joining. But that is a whole other conversation for another day.” He pushed a couple of photographs over to Namjoon so he could look at them.

The photos were from before he signed with Big Hit back in his underground days. He was smiling up at Jiho who had an arm around his shoulders, Kyung was leaning against Jiho from the underside. The beta looked so small even back then compared to him and Jiho. Thinking back Namjoon could actually remember when this was, it was around the time the two older betas had signed up as idols.

He could remember how he was actually happy for them. He knew that a lot of their friends were mad at them for becoming ‘idols’, but Namjoon saw it as a chance for them to spread their music. Yeah… It had been a good day, before all this weird omega shit.

The soft smile on Namjoon’s lips told Bang PD-nim all he needed to know. “When you go and see them. I want you to talk with them about the past. I think it could be good for you to talk with somebody who lived with it. Maybe in the end you will learn something about yourself and learn to accept yourself as an omega more. Plus it will be good for you in general, but I have a favour to ask of you.” Namjoon quickly nodded, he would do almost anything for Bang PD-nim. “Don’t focus on just Kyung and Jiho. I know that it is the the two you know the best, but you can’t join a pack based on only two members.”

It made a lot of sense. While he knew all of Block B and they were decently close as friends he could easily fall into just spending time with the two he already knew instead of getting to know everybody more. “Thank you not just for this, for everything. You didn’t have to care like this and we both know it. We are very lucky all of us.”

Bang PD-nim thanked him before waving him off. “It is late and I think people are waiting for you! Also… you can tell them that it is okay to post on social media while you are there. We aren’t hiding you from the fans… We aren’t SM.”

Oh the shade, but Namjoon saw the sad look on the older man’s face and it was clear at the same time that they both thought of Lu Han. Namjoon quickly left trying to free his mind from the sad memories of the older omega in whatever situation he was in. Nobody deserved to be treated like that, fuck SM… just fuck them.

As Namjoon sat in the car another big change in his life happened as a text pinged in on his phone. Seungri and Daesung… it kinda felt like they were trying to adopt Namjoon to be honest. There didn’t even go 12 hours where he hadn’t gotten a text from Seungri even if it was just something silly like another picture of fanart of him as a panda. He always knew how to make Namjoon smile.

He never thought that he would ever be in a point of his life where he felt comfortable just calling up a member of Big Bang. But as he saw the text he instantly called up the older alpha. “Seungri-hyung? Are you okay?”

Seungri sounded confused and a little sleepy as answered. “Joonie? Yeah? Why should I not be okay? Am I dying? Are you dying? Oh my god are we dying?”

That made Namjoon giggle a little he found Seungri’s silly nature funny and a nice change from how serious his work life was. “You said you had to shut down one of your dance schools?”

“Oh shit yeah, you first saw that message now? Namjoon! That is like 3 hour old news! You are like Jiyong he also just ignores me!”

Even if Namjoon knew he was just kidding he felt the need to explain himself. “I was working!”

Seungri just whined as Namjoon could hear him stretch. “I’m sorry did I wake you?” Another whine from Seungri, who really did embody everything about a soft alpha.

“Nah I’m on the couch in the studio. I am supposed to record vocals when the slave driver decides that he is done torturing Youngbae.” Namjoon heard somebody speak up in the background, but it was to far away for him to be able to hear the words. “Jiyong says he isn’t slavedriver and I’m being a whiny brat.”

It was all said with a way to happy tone that it was clear that neither alpha really meant it. The more Namjoon had talked to Big Bang’s maknae line the more he had found how he wanted his pack to be when he finally found who he belonged with. Even if they shouldn’t work 4 alpha’s and one omega with no beta’s they worked without any issues. It was almost like a movie pack. He hadn’t talked to either of the rappers. But he had talked shortly with Youngbae when the older alpha had stolen the phone from Seungri after the soft alpha had complained that Youngbae was being evil.

Youngbae was like his scent, calming to talk to. Namjoon could clearly see why has was when Daesung told him he was reason why they hadn’t all killed each other yet. “Hyung, you still haven’t told me why you closing your dance school?” If there were two things Namjoon had learned about Seungri while texting and talking to him it was that A) there was no such thing as Seungri getting enough attention and B) he was really passionate about his projects. It simply didn’t make sense that he would close them.

“A professor started a pack with a just presented omega! How am I supposed to be able to keep a school open after that? I can’t tell parents to trust me with their kids when there is a chance they get bound the same day they presented with a 35 year old teacher who breaks from his own pack to start a new one!” Seungri was high key whiny as Namjoon heard a slap getting placed on his head and another whine as somebody threw himself on top of Seungri.

“We told you that you should have written it into the teacher's contract.” The voice came from Daesung Namjoon could quickly decipher and he was close to the phone probably resting his head on Seungri’s shoulder.

“Oh I’m sorry that I didn’t expect my teacher to fuck a student! I thought it was logical!”

“Maknae you are up!” The voice this time was closer by and clearly belonged to no other than Kwon Jiyong better known as G Dragon. So while Namjoon had gotten more comfortable with Daesung and Seungri it was hard for him to even think about the Big Bang leader. While he looked up to every member of the group… G Dragon was something special.

Even though today he clearly sounded tired and from what he had heard from Daesung and Seungri the older alpha had worked for days in the studio rewriting and reproducing the last three songs for their new album.

Namjoon knew the stress of feeling like you just couldn’t nail that song that you were trying for. That feeling nothing you did seemed to make it better. It couldn’t be easier for G Dragon who had much more pressure on him than most people had. A shuffle was heard from the other end as Seungri got up leaving his phone with Daesung, who asked softly. “Namjoon?”

“Evening Hyung.” It always made Daesung giggle a little when he called him hyung, in the start it had made Namjoon worried that he was making fun of him, but Daesung had explained he had just found it cute.

“How are you doing Namjoon?” He would always ask Namjoon this, and if he tried to just answer with ‘fine’ he would ask again. It was always amazing how Daesung just seemed to understand him even if they hadn’t known each other that long.

“Our comeback is being pushed back.” He admitted a little bitterly, he still felt that it was kinda his fault even if it had been explained to him that it wasn’t he still couldn’t stop blaming himself.

Daesung hummed a little. “Seems like a good idea. There is such a thing as too many comeback.” Something was yelled again from the other side and the older omega sighed. “Seems like I have to go, sorry I promised to be the one to pull Seunghyun back into humanity.”

Namjoon wanted to ask what he meant about it, but he also didn’t want to overstep his boundaries so he just let it go, as they softly said a goodbye to the other. It was nice Namjoon decided, it was nice to have people that seemed to care about him as Namjoon and who had no connection to majority of the things happening in his life.

The rest of the way back to the dorm he was fiddling with the puzzle box, he felt like he was so close to getting it open! He wanted to see what was in it! He also knew that he needed to soon see another pack, he wanted to be fair and split his time fairly between all of them.

Everything was a lot different when he got back to the Got7 dorm. The first thing that happened was that he got pulled to the side by BamBam and Mark who both looked like gleeful kids. “We need your help.”

Somehow Namjoon knew this wasn’t going to end well. He knew that this was an overall bad idea, but he still had no idea how to say no. “What is wrong?”

“We need you to help us annoy the alphas!” BamBam looked like what had just said made completely sense, which in Namjoon’s head it didn’t.

“Excuse me what?”

“Annoy the alphas.” BamBam then went into a long rant about how it all made sense, but Namjoon had to be honest that he didn’t really understand what the younger was saying for multiple reasons. One of them being that he was speaking way way too fast. The second being that he was slipping between Korean and Thai.

Logically he should say no right? Because he had no idea what was even going on, but all it took was one set of doe eyes from BamBam and Mark combined and he knew he couldn’t say no. So he just sighed. “Okay I will help.” God what had he gotten himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes,
> 
> The Seungri dance school close down really happened!
> 
> Secondly, if you want to read more that I have made, please check out this   
> [My urban fantasy BTS/GOT7 AU](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10581210)  
> [My head canon for warlock BTS!](http://rofics.tumblr.com/post/159355439582/bts-as-warlockswitches)  
> [My head canon for BTS as supernatural creatures](https://gotbangvixx.tumblr.com/post/159424942640/bts-as-supernaturals)
> 
> Thirdly... Have a nice fucking Easter!


	42. Cuz I can’t see you no more, Oh I hate this love song! I think, I’m sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA! I'm back...
> 
> I thought I had explained that I took a break for easter... Turned out I didn't... I'm terrible I know...
> 
> So here is what I did on Easter instead of writing:
> 
> 1) got very drunk, this was the first break I got since I started uni again in September.  
> 2) spend a lot of time with my boyfriend, who I plan to spend more time with until we are breaking up.  
> 3) Easter is that one time of the year I go back to my family try and break bread, until the first thing they ask me is if I'm still poisning my blood line, and I think 'oh you are still garbage people' XD

To say that Namjoon was confused about what was going on was to put it mildly. He had no idea what he had actually signed up for. He had somehow gotten caught up in hiding Jaebum’s planner with BamBam without even knowing how he got here.

The most realistic answer would probably be that he was just in general weak for BamBam and he never really had much control over what he was doing when it came to the younger omega. The real question was why the two Got7 omegas were acting like this, it made no sense to Namjoon. It was like there was something going on that he didn’t know about.

Luckily Jinyoung ended up pulling him to the side only a few hours into the ‘game’. Namjoon was worried that he had failed his fellow omegas and had given them away. But mostly Jinyoung just looked like he wanted to sigh. “Do you know what a half is?”

Namjoon felt Jinyoung was being a little insulting of his intelligence and put on his best posh voice. “A half is an equal dividend something, 50 percent, what you have after you cut something over in the middle.”

Jinyoung ended up actually sighing at that point. “I know that, I know you aren’t in first grade, I mean a half heat?”

The taller of the two frowned a little trying to search through his memories to find any mention of half heats, but he came up blank. “No I don’t think so.”

“Don’t feel to bad about it, very few omegas still get them, and especially in kpop groups where there is in general more beta and alphas than omegas. A long long time ago half heats were a biological trait that helped omegas get the attention of alphas and betas even when they weren’t in heat. It was to help them stay more competitive to who would be bred during a heat.” Jinyoung explained with a light smile and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing when he saw Namjoon’s features scowl up at the word ‘bred’. “I know, bad word choice, but that is what BamBam is having at the moment.”

That lead Namjoon to be even more confused. “But you said that it was about attention from both alphas and betas why are they leaving you guys out then?” He started to feel bad, betas were important to!

Jinyoung again just laughed under his breath leaning up to pat Namjoon softly on the hair. “You are really just a softie aren’t you? They aren’t leaving us out. Youngjae joined them many times in the game and I have straight up made it known that I want no part in this. Since I can’t stand when my things go missing and I am not whipped enough that I will let them get away with it. I do love them all I really do, but I am not so weak and I will not let them get away with anything with cute puppy eyes like certain alphas.”

Namjoon just stood there for a second thinking over all the information he had just been told trying to digest it. “Mark can’t be having his half heat as well, it is way too early, he just had his heat.”

“Mark doesn’t get half heats, but since it is no longer about competing to get bred it has more or less turned into a game of getting all the attention. Mark joins in sometimes, neither him nor Youngjae joins in every time. Both of them need time for themselves sometimes. BamBam is probably happy that you are here now so you can hopefully join him since Mark seems to feel it as well.” Jinyoung had gone back to chopping vegetables, and while Namjoon wanted to help he knew that he would probably just do more damage than he would help so he just looked at the beta while he did it.

“Is it really okay that I join them?” He kinda… liked the idea a little. He had no idea why, he never before saw himself as somebody who craved people’s attention on him.

Then he thought over what Doctor Choi had said to him, he was making up for 4 years of his needs not being met. Maybe it was normal for him to like the idea of having people attention on him! Maybe he didn’t have to feel bad about it, maybe he could accept it and be happy about it. Jinyoung seemed to agree with him as he put the knife down to stand in front of Namjoon.

While Namjoon didn’t tower over him like he did people, such as Jackson, there was clearly still a decent height difference between them. It didn’t stop Jinyoung from reaching up and squishing Namjoon’s cheeks together the best he could.

So okay with Namjoon still being under weight it wasn’t extremely successful, but it still kinda had an effect making Namjoon look cutely confused. “Of course it is okay for you to join them Namjoon, you are an omega and at this point of this time you are spending here is to see if you fit into the pack here, and this is one of the things you will have to live with. So I am actually happy that you are going to join them, it lets you test if it is actually something you really want.”

“Aren’t you supposed to try to and only show me the brightest points to convince me to join?” Namjoon’s voice was a little slurred since Jinyoung was still pressing his cheeks together. It was meant as a joke, but Jinyoung’s facial expression turned very serious.

“Please don’t ever think that, we all have… Every pack that is courting you, agreed that we are going to show you the reality of being in our pack and not sugar coat it. While we all want you to join us, we also want you to be happy. If we only showed you what we found to be the best point of our pack and then 2 years in you saw what it really was and wanted to leave… that would hurt all of us including you and we could have avoided that hurt if we had all told you the truth.”

Namjoon had never thought about the fact that they had all talked about this without him, it made sense of course. He just never thought himself as an interesting enough topic for them to talk about. He also… He was thankful for how much they all seemed to care for him, it was so hard to explain. They all seemed to care more about him than he cared about himself, which that was a new feeling for Namjoon. He did the only thing he could he pulled Jinyoung close in a hug letting the betas calming scent fall over him. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Jinyoung mumbled into the taller boy’s shoulder, not really sure what was going on.

“For caring even when I myself struggle to do it.” It was the first time Namjoon had admitted out loud that his mind wasn’t always fighting for him. While Jinyoung of course knew of Namjoon’s struggles, he hoped that admitting it like this out would be a turning point for them, that it meant that he was ready to get better.

Both males lost track of how long they were actually spending there hugging until, Jinyoung had to go back to making dinner with Namjoon sitting on the counter getting fed different pieces of vegetables. Vegetables didn’t matter right? Those were healthy? So it didn’t count! At least that was what Namjoon told himself.

After that he was more onboard with BamBam”s and Mark’s game. Their first target seemed to be Jaebum, which involved leaving pictures of the ‘bounce’ all over his personal stuff, hiding his snack bag (Don’t get between Jaebum and food! This was something Namjoon learned. The alpha almost looked like he was starved when he got home from practice that day.) Bounce was also played all over the house at weird times, even if that one seemed to make Jinyoung feel like the target more than anything.

Then after that it was time to swap to Yugyeom, which made Namjoon feel a little mean as the baby alpha pouted when he found out that his dance practice was moved from his favorite practice room to his least favorite.

That was how he ended up with a not so smol alpha in his lap poking his dimple he couldn’t keep from deepening as he laughed. “You still love me right hyung?”

Yugyeom was way too cute pouting and sticking his tongue half out. “Always, is something wrong?”

That lead Yugyeom to hide his face in the place where Namjoon’s shoulder and neck met and his scent gland was and whined out like a 5 year old. “They are teasing me! They bound my laces together while I sitting down so I fell on my face! Right in front of Suzy-noona!”

The young alpha sounded so embarrassed. Namjoon petted his hair and stared down Mark who looked a little embarrassed in the doorframe. Namjoon had actually talked them out of that prank that morning. As another way to tall person he knew falling over your own legs was really not funny and he had been afraid that they would actually hurt the younger.

“Is anywhere hurting?” He was feeling up Yugyeom’s arms to make sure that the younger didn't have any injuries.

Yugyeom whined again. “Only my pride! What if this is what she is going to think of me? I am just going to be that guy who fell over his own legs when he met her! Namjoon I need to swap my name and move I can’t live with this!”

Good to see that Jackson and BamBam weren’t the only over dramatic members of this pack. “It is going to be fine I promise, at least she is going to be able to remember you which is something isn’t it?”

Yugyeom seemed to keep with his idea of being a giant baby as he just whined again hugging Namjoon closer. The older omega was at that point actually starting to lose the feeling in his thighs as if Yugyeom was a giant dog who still thought they was a tiny puppy and didn’t always think about just how big he was.

“What about we go out? I have to turn in some lyrics at the studio and I promise to go out and eat ice cream with Daesung-hyung?” Yugyeom perked up at that.

“Are you sure that is okay? I don’t want to interrupt something.”

Namjoon sent a quick text to Daesung.

**To Daesung-hyung:  
Is it okay I bring Yugyeom? BamBam is in half heat and is a terrorizing him.**

The response came almost instant.  
  
 **From Daesung-hyung:  
Ofc!!!! (✿◠‿◠)  I am finishing up at the gym now! ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔ I need Ice cream so badly >-<**

One thing he had learned from all this time spent texting Daesung is that the older seemed to have a never ending supply of smilies, which was kinda adorable. Another good thing with bringing Yugyeom with him was that this being the first first time that he had to meet Daesung by himself after the hospital. Hopefully Yugyeom would be just as shy as him which would either make it much more awkward or not… hopefully the later.

“He is okay with it. I am leaving soon you might want to change first, before we leave?” Yugyeom was still in his training clothes, which made the younger instantly jump of running towards where he kept his clothes in an almost panic.

Namjoon felt soft hands in his hair and instantly recognized the scent as Jaebum and he let himself close his eyes and enjoy the soft movement for a movement. “Even if you don’t pick us, we might need to hire you as a babysitter.”

Leaning his head back over the back of the couch so he could look Jaebum in the eyes no more words were exchanged just a light laughter and soft smiles. BamBam whom they met in the hallway did pout a little as Yugyeom stuck his tongue out at him and Namjoon bowed down a little to kiss his hair at the same time whispering so only the younger omega could hear it. “I told you not to go too far, you really made him sad.”

That made BamBam look embarrassed, it was clear that he had never meant to actually hurt anybody. But as Namjoon had figured out BamBam wasn’t capable of thinking completely clear during this half heat and his instincts just took over.

“Yugyeom?” BamBam called after them when they left, causing the baby alpha to look back at the omega who was shyly looking down on the ground. “I love you.”

That seemed to be everything Yugyeom needed to send a giant smile back at the omega in the doorframe. “I love you too Bammie! See you later!”

The trip out actually went surprisingly well, both Namjoon and Yugyeom were wearing big hoodies and snapbacks so nobody hopefully could recognize them or at least that was what they were going for as they hand in hand walked through the town towards the BigHit building.

It was nice. It had been a long while since either had enjoyed some real air spending most of their time in stuffy practice room or recording booths. They made soft small talk while walking through a park a shortcut towards the BigHit buildings, keeping their voice down so nobody would catch on to who they actually were.

That was what lead to something awkward, Yugyeom chose to stay in the lobby while Namjoon went to turn in some lyrics to Slow Rabbit PD-nim. Namjoon should never have done that, because when he came back to the lobby two tall alphas were staring each other down.

The heavy scent of aggression in alphas was thick in the air and Namjoon didn’t know what to do. He knew what had happened between them from Yugyeom, but he also knew that Yugyeom was ware of what Jungkook had done to him. Even if what Jungkook had done hadn’t been on purpose or to try and hurt Namjoon, Namjoon also knew that nobody seemed to believe him in that.

It was the first time he had smelled two alphas almost going at it on each other. Namjoon had expected Yugyeom to be the one to back down, but Yugyeom didn’t. Namjoon remembered that even though Yugyeom had traits of a soft alpha he wasn’t actually a soft alpha and he just stared down Jungkook.

Namjoon could see how Jungkook was struggling, he had read that it could take weeks if not months for the excess hormones to slowly bleed out of Jungkook, and he clearly wanted to put Yugyeom in his place, but he was also holding himself back his hand tightly fisted and his nails trying to draw blood.

Namjoon almost felt he was grounded to the floor. Like he wanted to either run away or present his neck, but he couldn’t! He wasn’t going to! He was Jungkook’s leader, he was not going to let the younger get into drama he didn’t need. He breathed out heavily focused on finding his higher brain function instead of  giving into the scent and giving into his instinct of letting the alphas fight it out.

He knew Jungkook had spent time with his trainer, the younger wanting to look his best for their new tour in Japan. Each step towards Jungkook was harder, but as he finally reached him raising his arm to guide Jungkook out of the lobby to the gym. Jungkook snarled at him. “Don’t touch me!”

The way he ripped his arm from Namjoon’s grip was harsh enough to make it unstable and caused underweight Namjoon to tumble to the ground. Which… That was what really started the shit storm as Yugyeom growled a sound that Namjoon had never heard before. That was sweet and soft cinnamon roll Yugyeom who just growled loud enough to make Jungkook step backwards a few steps.

“Why do you always hurt people Jungkook? Go! You have done enough damage already! To everybody!” Yugyeom couldn’t really control the words coming out of his mouth, all the feelings of disdain he had for Jungkook after that night so long ago were all building up in him, and Jungkook had just hurt Namjoon… AGAIN! While he respected Namjoon, and he knew that the older could protect himself, but he was blind when it came to BTS and especially Jungkook and Yoongi. He just wanted Jungkook to hurt like he had hurt both Yugyeom and Namjoon.

“This is what your kind of alphas do! You just destroy people around you, this is why omegas are scared of you! The only way you can keep omegas is by brainwashing them into believing that you aren’t a monster! You are one, and you know it!” The thing was that Yugyeom and Jungkook had been friends almost since they debuted. Yugyeom knew Jungkook better than most people, he knew how to hurt him, and he was now using that power for evil.

Jungkook stumbled a few more steps back his eyes almost comically large. Namjoon reached out for Jungkook his instinct both as an omega and just as Namjoon was to make Jungkook feel better. He needed to do it, but without Namjoon even managing to reach him he flinched like he had been burned, and then he seemed to do the most BTS thing to do, since nobody in that pack liked to ever actually talk about things, he turned around and ran.

Yugyeom was breathing heavily and looked a little scared. Namjoon had to admit he was a little shaken as well, but he also was worried about Yugyeom he had never seen the younger act like that before.

He did the first thing that came to his mind, he wrapped the younger up in tight hug. “Are you okay?”

Yugyeom just shook his head. “I didn’t mean to do that… But he hurt you… and he hurt me… I just wanted him to hurt like I did?” He looked down at Namjoon with teary eyes. “Does that make me bad?”

Namjoon rested his forehead against Yugyeom trying to guide his breathing. “No you could never be bad, you know that Yeom. I promise you it is going to be okay.”

“Kookie looked really sad, I really hurt him.” Yugyeom mumbled, and that was such a Yugyeom thing, even though he had thought Jungkook deserved it, he still felt sorry for Jungkook and didn’t actually want to hurt him. This was why Yugyeom was too good for this world.

Namjoon smiled a little. “I will text some people who will make him feel better, now let's go and get some ice cream in you to make you feel better.” Yugyeom smiled a little at that before nodding.

As the walked the rest of the way to the ice cream parlor Namjoon sent a quick text to Hakyeon about what happened. Deciding that Hakyeon was probably the person who could deal with it the best. Since Wonshik did seem to have adopted Jungkook more or less and might be a little over protective over him. Also he might not be the best person in the world to manage the sea of ‘other people’s emotions’

Daesung was already sitting in the corner snapback abandoned on the table as he was very eagerly devouring the ice cream. The older omega had clearly rushed here after the gym, his hair still wet from the shower and his skin still a little red from where the warm water had hit him. His face was completely bare of makeup where both of the younger idols were wearing BB cream wanting to look their best, since they were meeting a bloody Big Bang member.

The spoon was still in his mouth as he looked up at the two younger idols just staring at him with big eyes. “Is something wrong?” His words were kinda weird with the spoon yet to be removed from his mouth.

He then seemed to realize what was the problem was he pointed towards his ice cream. “Sorry… Preheat… four alphas and no other omega means 3 weeks of preheat and me just constantly being hungry.” He grinned a little. “Thanks for joining me though. I am supposed to eat healthy so nobody wants to go out and get ice cream with me other than Seungri, and he can’t keep his mouth shut.”

Yugyeom stood there like a fish opening and closing his mouth a little. Even though he knew that they were meeting Daesung here, it was still a little overwhelming. Namjoon however was happy. He didn’t know what he had expected, but he had been worried that it had been different meeting Daesung in real life than constant texting with him and talking, but Daesung was the same person anyway.

Daesung then looked at Yugyeom. “You are the maknae right? From Got7?” Yugyeom nodded like a obedient puppy. Then again Daesung could probably believe that he was the lead singer of Twice and Yugyeom wouldn’t have it in him to say that he was wrong. But then the older just laughed. “You can’t tell that to Seungri, he is having some mental issues with every maknae being way way to tall.”

That was when Namjoon realized something, Daesung was short! At least a lot shorter than he was supposed to be, but that could probably be explained by the fact that he was wearing converse that had no option for insoles in. “Are you guys just going to watch me eat, because I am starting to feel like you are judging me.”

The rest of the stay was actually really good. Namjoon managed to get out of eating icecream saying he was lactose sensitive, instead digging into some fruit instead while Yugyeom just as eagerly as Daesung dug into the ice cream.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Little did he know that this was the most peace he was going to get for a while… After all they hadn’t even started messing with Jackson yet, and he only had one lock left on his puzzle box to open, and did he ever find Seungri’s gift? For now… He would just relax, he deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have two more chapters with Got7 left until they get put on a shelf for a while, but for next chapter it is time to...
> 
> KEEPING UP WITH BTS!
> 
> And this is where I need your help, I have decided that I am going to spread their storyline over time instead of one big smack at the same time... So... Here is poll and you vote which BTS member gets their solo chapter first!
> 
> [POLL!](https://strawpoll.com/e1zez3s) (and yes Yoongi is not an option... sorry)
> 
> A few pieces of information if you want to read more about this story!  
> [Jackson and a possible saving of his scentgland](http://rofics.tumblr.com/post/159638559607/hello-prusia-i-just-wanted-to-ask-actually)  
> [Namjoon's mental state + storyline](http://rofics.tumblr.com/post/159600755147/hi-prussia-when-reading-hidden-omega-i-feel-like)  
> [How I decide who is an alpha/omega/Beta](http://rofics.tumblr.com/post/159541624687/hi-i-have-a-question-about-your-process-writing) (this one is my favorite)
> 
> And that should be about it for this time! As always... thanks for reading!


	43. Keeping up with BTS - The one where I think I might have gone to far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS HAS NO NAMJOON IN IT! IF YOU ARE ONLY HERE FOR NAMJOON YOU CAN SKIP THIS ONE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So following you guys votes, here is Jungkook's chapter!
> 
> Also, Hoseok was so close multiple times he were number 1, but when I started writing Jungkook was leading!
> 
> Also, my beta reader want to kill all of you for not voting for Seokjin XD

Jungkook felt like he was almost in a trance after his meeting with Yugyeom and Namjoon. He had no idea how it went wrong so fast. He knew that Yugyeom and Namjoon had every right to be angry with him, but neither normally hold a grudge and he never thought that Yugyeom would ever say stuff like that to him.

But then again, could he blame him? After all he had a point, he was right he only spoke the truth. Jungkook was a monster, he had thought that he could hide it that he could get better, but Yugyeom knew him too well. He knew the rot inside.

He got sent home from his training session after he managed to almost drop the weight upon himself. The only thing that really saved him was the fact that his trainer was spotting for him. He got sent home with the order of first coming back when he had fixed whatever was going on in his head!

He knew that most of Vixx wouldn’t be there when he got ‘home’. He had actually enjoyed the last two weeks with Vixx, it was so different from what he was used to. Even though he still felt uncomfortable when the rest of the group was teasing Taekwoon, teasing the pack alpha something that would never happen in BTS. It left Jungkook to wonder if this was what a real pack was suppose to be like?

Of course since Vixx only had one alpha Taekwoon never had to show somebody that he was the leader like Yoongi was forced to with Jungkook and Hoseok. But in general the oldest alpha never looked like he wanted or needed to show anybody in control, and more often than not he had seen the pack alpha get ordered around by Hakyeon, which he didn’t seem to mind. Was that how it could be for BTS with Namjoon as their leader, just doing his job, did none of them had to think about the fact that Namjoon was an omega, that would be nice… yeah.

When Jungkook got back home he had kinda hoped the dorm was empty which was a wish he didn’t get to see filled as the 10th one piece opening was being blasted on full volume from the living room showing that at least Sanghyuk was home. Sanghyuk was the person that Jungkook had never really thought about being somebody that he would end up being close to, but it turned out that he was wrong.

Sanghyuk was easy to be around both of them being maknaes which was something they could bond over, while Jungkook stuck to stories before he presented since without thinking about it. His life had changed a lot since he had presented.

“Jungkook?!” Came the yell from the livingroom. This voice belonging to Vixx’s second beta and visual Hongbin who was another person that Jungkook had taken a liking to without really thinking about it. It did help that both of them seemed to be slightly emotionally constipated, but he was always more than happy to play overwatch with Jungkook. Which just made him an amazing person, because video games are amazing.

Yeah overall Jungkook liked the two betas they were easy to be around. They reminded him kind of Seokjin and Taehyung which were the people that Jungkook had found it easiest to be around. Nothing in his body was telling him that he needed to treat them a certain way, because they were ‘just’ betas.

Jungkook hadn’t noticed that he had more or less spaced out in the hallway until Hongbin stuck his head out there. “You are home early?”

Jungkook didn’t know what he was suppose to answer, so he just did what he seemed to doing best recently. He was a terrible person by lying. “Yeah I got done early.”

He voice was empty and devoid of emotions, just like it had been that first day he had gotten to the Vixx house which was something that slightly scared Hongbin. Jungkook had started being a happier version of what had arrived there, and Hongbin had learned to really like the version of Jungkook with his walls down. Not just because he was the only person who could really challenge Hongbin in overwatch, but also because he could be funny and slightly bratty.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to do to make Jungkook feel better, or how to make him tell what were wrong. So he just did what he did best he took a grab of Jungkook’s hand as soon as the younger had taken of his shoes and more or less dragged Jungkook to the living room where Sanghyuk was sprawling his way to long body over one of the couches. “Come and watch with us, I could use some support, this show is getting weirder and weirder.”

That made Sanghyuk unglue himself from the screen when he saw the two idols enter the room. “Jungkook!” He made grabby hands towards him.

Yeah that was another thing that Jungkook had learned about Sanghyuk he was a cuddle snog. It was insane, the youngest beta was at his best when he had as much of another person as possible pressed against him.

Jungkook had yet to come to a point where he could let himself be the little spoon. Luckily Sanghyuk didn’t really seem to care about that, even if he was taller than Jungkook he was more than happy about playing little spoon.

It took some maneuvering until they all got comfortable. Hongbin who had decided that the octopus cuddling on the way to small couch was not something he wanted to be part of and had instead taken a spot on the other couch. Jungkook had a strong arm around Sanghyuk’s waist keeping him from falling off the couch while the beta were busy laughing at what was going on the screen.

Jungkook couldn’t get himself to focus on the anime which he normally found funny enough to follow. Instead burying his head in the back of Sanghyuk’s neck thinking over what happened between him and Yugyeom not just today, but what had ruined their friendship.

His friendship with Hongbin and Sanghyuk reminded him very much of him and Yugyeom before they presented. Other than of course that him and Yugyeom got frisky and of course he wasn’t like that with Vixx.

Even though he had walked in on the two youngest, since apparently those two were mildly nymphomaniacs, who seemed to be all over each other all the time. In general everybody in this house seemed to have a lot more sex than he was used to. Jungkook wasn’t allowed to wallow in self pity for too long before Hongbin spoke up.

“How were your day?”

To be honest, Jungkook had no idea how to even answer that question. How had his day been? He had done really well in practice today and Taehyung had smiled at him when they had crossed each other in the hall! Which that was a first since the incident, even if Jimin had told him that Taehyung was not angry with him.

“Nothing happened.” Jungkook mumbled into the undyed soft locks of Sanghyuk’s hair the soft scent of coconut filling his nostrils, he smelled really nice okay.

Sanghyuk decided to speak up then. “Jungkook you don’t have to lie, if something is bothering you we are ready to listen. We will even promise not to tell the rest if you don’t want them to know. You know that keeping it all inside is not going to help you it is just going to make you explode when you can’t keep it in anymore.”

The other maknae’s voice was soft and nice as he was petting Jungkook’s hand where it had grabbed his loose shirt to keep ahold of him. Jungkook thought about it for a second. They were right, he was bad at keeping it all inside and he didn’t want to hurt anybody if he accidentally lost control again. “I hurt Namjoon I didn’t mean to! Yugyeom and he were at the BigHit building I was just done with dance practice and I went to my gym session. But I saw Yugyeom in the room,” he sighed a little not sure how to explain it, “we used to be friends. But something happened I did something stupid and we stopped being friends. Namjoon is currently being courted by them. I know he is angry with me and he growled at me. So we more or less started a stare competition. I started to feel the anger inside me again. I did what Wonshik-hyung told me to do! I tried to stay calm, count inside my head and focus on good things! I just needed a moment to calm myself, but Namjoon reached out to touch me before I was ready. I was so scared of hurting him or anybody again! But I pulled my hand to myself a little too hard, it wasn’t my fault! He is so underweight still that he fell to the ground I didn’t want to hurt him!”

Jungkook could feel how the tears were starting to form in his eyes. He hadn’t meant to do any of this! He had really not meant for anybody to get hurt, he had on purpose done it so people wouldn’t get hurt! “Yugyeom got mad at me and he told me that hurting people was just my nature. That I was just a monster.”

That was all Sanghyuk had to hear to turn around in Jungkook’s arm to hug him close instead. Sanghyuk was trying to take his new responsibility as hyung serious plus Jungkook was really just a puppy. A puppy that was raised badly that needed to get corrected. Sometimes it was like he didn’t understand how big he actually was and how easily he could hurt people. Sanghyuk didn’t say anything just hugged him close and while Jungkook was silent the beta could feel the wetness from his tears wetting the hollow of his neck gathering there.

Hongbin had gotten up as well sitting on the armrest of the couch petting Jungkook’s hair as well. “He didn’t mean that, he was just worried about Namjoon-hyung. I’m sure he didn’t mean to say stuff like that.”

Both of the betas were a little scared of how Jungkook was just breaking down. Hakyeon had told them what had happened and had made sure that they both knew that Jungkook needed positivity around him positivity to feel more calm. They thought it had worked, they hadn’t heard him speaking down about himself in a while and he had managed to get back to himself after the Taehyung accident.

He still needed some practice against his toxic mindset that all of them had an idea was running a lot deeper than they were aware of right now, but other than that he was getting better. He still seemed almost scared at the moment around Taekwoon. But that might have something to do with Taekwoon not being the best at showing his emotions and his past with Yoongi. As Jungkook seemed to have calmed down a little Hongbin finally dared to ask. “What happened between you and Yugyeom.”

For a second Jungkook thought about refusing to tell them the truth. He had never told anybody it, it was right after he had presented and he needed to be a strong alpha, but maybe… maybe it was okay for him to tell what was actually going on and how he was feeling. With that Jungkook started his story. “We were best friends before we both presented, we are the same age, both maknaes so it was easy to become friends. We were frustrated with the period where everybody else had presented and we hadn’t. We felt like we were being left out of our packs. We knew it was because it was the right thing to do, but it felt a little lonely as well, so we spend a lot of time together.”

Sanghyuk could understand that, it had a been a terrible time where he felt like he wasn’t as important as everybody else. He felt left out when Jaehwan had gone into heat and he was trapped with just Wonshik where everybody else was helping the omega. Wonshik was not paying him any attention since he could smell Jaehwan’s heat. As a hard omega he wanted to be there, he felt he needed to be there.

It was a horrible time, and he was glad that Yugyeom and Jungkook had each other during that time too. “Sounds like you guys were dealing well with it. Where is the issue?”

Jungkook sighed, this was the part he knew they both fucked up and did something they weren’t suppose to do. “We played around… sexually.”

Hongbin hesitated a second. “I know that it is something that it recommended that you don’t do, and it was a little irresponsible to do, by both of you! Your body wasn’t ready for it yet, but I don’t see how that would ruin your friendship.”

The laughter Jungkook produced was empty and weirdly hollow. “That is not what ruined it, it was me. Right after we had both presented and while I had of course joined the BTS pack and Yugyeom was for some reason holding out, we met up again. It went a like it would normally, other than we could now smell each other and it smelled amazing he uhm… he tried to touch my ass, even though I am alpha! He overstepped!” Jungkook didn’t know how to explain it. “Alphas don’t get touched there, that is not right! It is below us! I… I called him some not so nice things, when I found out that he… that he let people touch him there.”

There were so many things with what Jungkook said that both Sanghyuk and Hongbin were silent not sure where to start. This was much worse than they had expected. They had known that BTS were up to no good shit and that Yoongi wasn’t a good pack alpha. But this was just too much, and they had no idea how to deal with it. Sanghyuk decided to start with what he hoped he had misunderstood. “You said you just right after you presented? How long was your wait time?”

“Wait time?” Jungkook now actually looked at him frown on his face like he couldn’t really understand what Sanghyuk was saying.

“The time between you presented and joined BTS?”

“None? I got the bite right after I presented.” Jungkook sounded like he couldn’t understand why they were worried about him, what they were making such a big deal about.

Hongbin and Sanghyuk shared a look that clearly said how worried they were. The thing was that you needed a time between presenting and actually joining the pack, at least a month. Thinking that you want to spend the rest of your life with a pack, before you have presented and then actually wanting to is very different things. You could end up not being sexually attracted to people of your pack. Which of course isn’t bad if you were asexual, but large majority weren’t and sexual attraction in a pack was important. Then came the thing if your inner either alpha, omega or beta were happy with the pack, your inner subgender were often much better at deciding it than you were.

The problem was that it had just woken up, it had just presented and it needed time to actually wake up and work the right way, you needed a period before you joined! If yes you were right for the pack then yes it felt stupid that you needed to wait, but some people ended up not feelings that way. They ended up finding out that after a month that they weren’t right for the pack! That was how both Junhui and Soonyoung of Seventeen had found out they didn’t fit into the pack, but fit with each other creating their own pack that Minghao ended up joining after he had presented. Had they just went with what they thought were their perfect pack they wouldn’t have ended up happy!

Changkyun from Monsta x was also a good example. He had always thought he would join his friends from his past packs and he was ready to do it. The rest of Monsta x had accepted it, but it had turned out that it wasn’t meant to be. That it simply hadn’t worked out. His inner beta had chosen Monsta x, so that was how it ended up being, it was the group he found himself fitting with instead of the pack he thought.

There were so many stories of people thinking they were suppose to join one pack to find out after presenting that it didn’t work out. Had Jungkook not been given that? That chance? Had any of them not been given that? “Jungkook this is important, did everybody get the bite right after presentation?”

Jungkook just nodded, not really sure what they were talking about. Of course they all had they were meant to be after all! Both betas made the decision not to bring it up more, it was probably better that this talk was with somebody else… preferably anybody that wasn’t them. Because neither were really sure of how to explain it. This was like talking to a brainwashed person, they both knew that Jungkook had a happy childhood. How did he end up going to wrong?

Exactly, that was easy to explain Yoongi and how his childhood trauma was transferred to how he treated his own pack. Next subject then. “What do you mean it is below you as an alpha to be touched on your ass?”

That just was so confused to both of the betas since just this morning Hongbin had caught Wonshik eating out Taekwoon. So it simply didn’t make any sense. “It is submissive, letting somebody touch your entrance is you submitting. Alpha’s only submit to their pack alpha.”

“So you let Yoongi fuck you?” Hongbin said unabashed like it was nothing. He was not one to bullshit around the argument.

Jungkook blushed as he went back to hiding in Sanghyuk’s collarbone taking in the soft coconut scent. He knew that as an alpha he shouldn’t act like this, but Sanghyuk was an beta so it was kinda okay, he hoped. “Once.” Jungkook mumbled, it wasn’t a good memory for him.

Sanghyuk went back to just petting their little puppy, and letting Hongbin hold the conversation because he had an idea that he wouldn’t like where this was going. “You don’t sound happy about it,”

“Of course I’m not, it was during my rut and it was humiliating.”

Hongbin could feel a sour taste start up in the back of his mouth. As he had an idea where this was going, but god he hoped that he was wrong. For once he hoped that he wasn’t thinking the right things. “Why was it humiliating?” He wanted to ask something else, but he couldn’t get himself to say it.

“I started crying cause it hurt.” Jungkook mumbled sadly half drooling on Sanghyuk’s shirt now. “I needed to submit to my alpha.”

Oh god this was what Hongbin thought and he felt and acid taste in the back of his throat like he was about to throw up. But this wasn’t enough he needed to ask the question, that one important question. “Jungkook this is important, can you look at me?” Hongbin tried for his best calming voice.

Jungkook refused though. He just shook his head it was clear that this talk was making him think of things that he would much much rather forget. But Hongbin wasn’t ready to give up yet he needed to know the truth. “Kookie, please this is important.”

It took a little bit of time and more talking for Jungkook to look up and meet Hongbin’s eyes. It was clear that this was a much more traumatic experience than the baby alpha wanted to talk about. “Did you want it? Did you want what happened between you and Yoongi?”

Jungkook blinked away a few tears, and his voice was a little unsteady when he answered. “No”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup... Yup... That happened... I hope all of you who thought Jungkook was a soulless monster the last chapter feels horrible now!
> 
> What else do we have to say today, hmmm the next two chapters are Got7 and then we are done with Got7 for a very long while!
> 
> I think that is about it for today
> 
> Oh yeah, it has been a while since I have been a tease right?
> 
> Somebody in Exo... had a pack before Exo ^^


	44. Was so on a natural high, felt like you always been my best friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys were being super supportive and nice on the last chapter which made me so happy, and I loved chatting with all of your guys!
> 
> A few notes I want to tell everybody since not all reads the comments:
> 
> First of all... Jungkook doesn't see this as rape, it is... but he doesn't see it that way currently  
> Secondly, after Namjoon goes back to his own place we will get a chapter of Keeping up with BTS Jungkook edition, this chapter is going to last cover the time up to leaving for Japan. Which means that his timeline will be caught up to the point where I will reunite BTS.  
> Thirdly, thank you all so much for your support, it means the world to me, and if you have a question please don't be afraid to ask.

As Yugyeom went to pay for him and Namjoon, something he refused to back down from no matter how much Namjoon tried to say that he was okay with paying, Daesung and Namjoon was left alone at the table to say their goodbyes.

Namjoon had still not really gotten over how easy it was to talk with the older idol. As the other omega looked sadly at his empty bowl that had held icecream before Namjoon finally managed to ask the question he had wanted to ask all evening. “Does it hurt?”

Daesung just looked confused at Namjoon like he didn’t really understand what the rapper was asking. “What hurts?”

“Pre-heat.” Namjoon mumbled blushing a little, it still felt weird asking question like that. But he really wanted and needed to know what he could expect.

Daesung licked his spoon one last time, pouting a little when he found no taste of the ice cream left, he was craving sweets! And the rest of his pack was always so overprotective since they knew that if he ate too many sweets during preheat he would hate himself after it when he forced himself to the gym at all weird times of the day.

For a second he thought of lying to Namjoon. He knew why the younger was asking, but he also knew that lying wasn’t right. He had promised himself and Namjoon that he would never lie to him. Namjoon deserved and needed somebody to be upfront with him, somebody who he could always come to who would never lie, but also would be there for him.

“Both yes and no, my preheat is bad. I have 4 alphas, no betas and no omegas. My preheat is long and annoying. Since I don’t really have the body of an omega my body is trying to force me to store up more fat for me to survive when I start actually going into heat. I have the tendency to be very hard to force to eat.” Daesung played a little with the spoon, not sure how much he should explain to Namjoon. But it was best he explained everything since he had an idea that nobody else was going to.

“I am overheating all the time, but I am also freezing which is annoying!” That did explain why Daesung was slightly red on his face from overheating, but also wrapped up in a hoodie that seemed too big for him. Not for the first time Namjoon thought about how short Daesung actually was. Even with his broad shoulders and muscle mass, plus the fact he could without a doubt take down Namjoon if he wanted to, he still looked kinda cute.

His blue hair had dried while they were eating, and was just a mess on his head from how many times Daesung had ran his hair through it during the visit. “I get needy for affection, but that is very normal even if you aren’t in a pack. Since I have 4 alphas my mind is even more, and it is so annoying. I have no omega or beta to even out the mess of my mind I can easily lose myself to it if I don’t focus. I try to spend as much time as I can with other omegas or betas.“ Daesung pouted again, clearly not happy with what his body made him do. “I spend a lot of time with either Jessica, from the 2NE1 pack,” like Namjoon needed an explanation for the biggest kpop scandal to happen at that time he knew everything possible he could, “she is very calming. That is the problem with YG in general seeming to suck at being able to recruit omegas.” Daesung laughed a little at that, and Namjoon thought it over for a second he had a point.

He could remember when he was younger and he first saw 2NE1 they were so different from everything else around. They had no omega in their group at all, but still somehow seemed to work. When Jessica joined the 2NE1 pack and only 2 weeks later dropped her contract with SM the entire fanbase was in shock. That had never happened before. Now that Namjoon thought about it, that in the JYJ/TVXQ case might be the reason that SM wrote so harsh contracts now a days.

“Is that why you wanted to meet me today? Because I am an omega?” While Namjoon was kinda flattered that Daesung picked him as an omega, but he thought Daesung wanted to spend time with him just as a human.

Daesung quickly corrected himself. “Of course that is not the reason Namjoon. Please don’t think that while yes I did pick you because you might actually keep my ice cream secret, but also because I wanted to just talk with you. I would like use to be friends, and I thought we had made a good step towards it.”

Now it was Namjoon’s turn to blush again. “I’m sorry… I just get really defensive easily about my sub gender.” He awkwardly looked down at the table, seeing where the paint were chipped of in place. The parlor clearly being old and in need of a need coat of paint.

Daesung smiled understanding putting his smaller hand on top Namjoon’s on the table. “I have to admit I talked with Jiyong about it, rap and the rap ‘world’ isn’t really something I understand that well as your probably know. I think I understand much better now why you are so defensive about it. I want you to understand that while yes some assholes will judge you for your sub gender, your friends will never do that. And that includes me and Seungri.”

Daesung’s hands were rough, probably from both drumming and time at the gym as his thumb softly stroked the top of Namjoon’s hand. His words in general made Namjoon smile softly. It was weird to think about the fact that he somehow had managed to become friends with not one, but two different members of Big Bang people he looked up to. It was even harder to believe that he actually liked them even more as people than as he did as idols. “Thank you.”

They sat in silence before they both looked over at Yugyeom who saw them looking and wave happily almost hitting the old lady next to him. Daesung laughed a little. “What is wrong with him? Since you brought him here?”

Namjoon sighed a little. “BamBam is in half heat, and he took it a little too far and made Yugyeom sad. He is still sensitive even if he is an alpha.”

The older omega nodded. “I am so glad that I don’t suffer from half heats,” he then seemed to think for a second, “I think I know why it is strong this time for him you said they just had Mark joining them in the pack. Plus you are a being courted by them. Maybe his inner omega is worried that he is going to be seen as ‘old news’ and not important anymore.”

“None of us would ever think that! BamBam is special to all of us plus Mark himself would move the world for him.” Namjoon felt a need to stand up for his friends, for his potential mates.

Daesung gave Namjoon’s hand a light squish from where his own was resting on top of it. “I am not saying they would ever do that. I don’t know Got7 very well, but at this point I know you pretty well and I don’t think you would be friends with them if they were like that. But we don’t always control how our bodies react and think. I know that better than most, when another article is posted about how Seungri is going to leave us I feel it in myself as well. I know it is false, but I can’t control my body’s need to have him close and scent mark him to show the world he is ours.”

It made sense when Namjoon thought about it, for idols the world around them was changing all the time and the only thing they really had constant was their pack. When even that was changing it made sense that BamBam’s inner omega was worried. “Thank you, it is still hard for me to understand not just what other people do but how I feel as well. I have somehow managed to get caught up in this half heat as well helping them… and… it kinda makes me happy. I like it.”

Daesung smiled widely at him as well, his eyes and scrunched up like crescent moons in what he knew as he famous ‘eye-smile’. “I think it is good for you, with your past there is a real chance that you yourself is going to have half heats when you gets a pack. So look forward to that.”

Namjoon whined out. “I don’t even want a real heat, let alone a half heat, this sucks.”

The thing was that Daesung couldn’t hear the self hating tone in his voice. It showed that it wasn’t actually because he hated himself as an omega, which was a big step forward for Namjoon, so he decided to just joke about. “You are going to hate it before and after, but love it during heat.”

Namjoon just whined a little more before they were interrupted by what sounded like the chorus of zutter leaving both of them to fumble after their phone. Just for it to turn out it was Daesung who pouted again when he saw the number as he picked up. “Hey Tabi, no hey calm down I am not dead in a ditch. I told you that I was meeting up with Namjoon, I didn’t? Well I told RiRi, who was supposed to tell you which of course he didn’t

I promise I am okay I have not been omega napped. Jesus christ what is wrong with you? I am not about to be kidnapped you overprotective oak, we are about to leave now.”

Namjoon had to keep a hand in front of his mouth to not laugh as he saw Daesung grimace as what his pack alpha said. “Just relax I swear to god sometimes you and Youngbae are terrible. I am an adult. Oh I got lost once and suddenly you all think I am going to get lost and die here. Goodbye, I will be home soon.” He sighed when he hung up.

“This is another downside to preheat. It is in their biology that they have to protect me during this, even if I am probably better at defending myself than any of them is.” He stared at his phone, before looking up at Namjoon. “It seem like your giraffe has finished paying, that signals it’s time for all of us to leave before people get worried about all of us. I don’t need everybody to think I kidnapped two members of younger groups, Seungri maknaes enough scandals for all of us.” Daesung sounded slightly done with the soft alpha, which made Namjoon giggle.

“Yeah, me and Yugyeom should get bad and make sure that BamBam hasn’t actually accidentally killed somebody.” As Namjoon stood up to say his goodbye he didn’t expect the next thing to happen was Daesung hugging him close. It took a short while for Namjoon to hug back the much shorter idol with a smile. The soft scent of blueberries washing over him, with just a little hint of what Namjoon guessed to be heat. Oh that smelled so much better after he presented. “Be careful.” Namoon couldn’t stop himself from saying it outloud.

Daesung just smiled at him “I always am, or I would be killed by my own over protective pack. You guys be carefull as well,”

Namjoon just nodded. “I better go and get him before he kidnaps that dog.” Yugyeom had found a little dog he was now happily chatting with outside, not even noticing that his hood was down and he was ending up with a minor crowd around him. People probably wondering what a Got7 was doing in the evening outside an old ice parlor trying to befriend a dog.

“Yeah you should do that.” Daesung giggled a little “Also getting dogs is a slippery slope take that as a warning, you think it is only one, but then suddenly everybody has one and you all live together.”

One last hug was shared between the two omegas before Namjoon sighed pulling up his hood grabbing Yugyeom who was sending hearts to the tiny dog who looked just as ready as Yugyeom to run away together and create a future together.

Yugyeom did whiny a little as he intertwined his fingers. Both idols knowing that people were taking pictures of them, but choosing to ignoring it. Namjoon’s focus being on getting both himself and Yugyeom out of this chaos in one healthy piece. Which was not as easy as it sounded.

When Yugyeom and Namjoon managed to get to the front of the Got7 dorm Namjoon got half attacked in a hug by the baby alpha. Something he didn’t understand. “Thank you Joonie!” It was mumbled into his hair by the younger.

Namjoon half awkwardly patted Yugyeom on the back not really sure what to do. “You have nothing to thank me for.”

“Yes I do, you had plans, but because you saw that I wasn’t feeling good you dropped your plans and took me with you ignoring your own plan. Thank you for that, I needed it.”

That made Namjoon smile a little. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“Always.”

The rest of the evening went surprisingly well. BamBam did seem to be very sorry as he spent the rest of the evening in physical contact with Yugyeom, and even if he couldn’t get himself to say outloud how sorry he was, he was showing it instead.

Namjoon spent the rest of the evening petting Jackson’s hair with one hand, while he fiddled with the puzzle box in the other. He was so damn close to getting it open! He could feel how close he was, goddamn it! Why did it have to be so hard! Namjoon knew that he was going to another group very soon, he was going to miss living with Got7. But somehow he was also looking forward to something different. He needed to be open minded, and it had been a while since he had talked to Bang.

When they went to bed that night both Mark and BamBam were cuddled up against Yugyeom. Both showing that they knew that they had gone to far and that they were sorry. Yugyeom smiled one last time at Namjoon before he closed his eyes to finally get some rest. Namjoon felt happy that everything had worked out and he cuddled closer to Youngjae he had already passed out drooling against his collarbones like slobbering little dog.

Peace was over when Namjoon woke up the next morning as he got woken up extra early by BamBam and Mark who signalled for him to be quiet and follow them. Even in his still half sleeping state.

Namjoon wasn’t even sure he knew what happened as he sat in the kitchen rubbing his hairs looking confused at BamBam. “What is wrong?”

“We are going to scare Jackson!” Oh… oh that was cruel, Jackson was already easily scared. But he had to admit it was an easy way to get Jackson’s attention.

He felt slightly guilty as he could feel himself getting more and more interested in it, but he couldn’t really stop himself there was something about this idea that just spoke to him. “Okay where are we starting?”

Both Mark and BamBam seemed happy with how easily he agreed as BamBam pulled out a little stack of way way to life like spiders. “We are going to hide these in his bathroom stuff.” That was when Namjoon noticed.

“BamBam why are those moving, please tell me those aren’t actually real spiders.”

The younger just laughed. “Don’t worry they aren’t real, but they are suppose to be as lifelike as possible. Now come help! We have to hide them in different places. If I know Jackson right, which I do, we can easily get him multiple times with the same spiders in different places.”

Namjoon just did as ordered, helping hiding them in Jackson bathroom stuff and other places as he they then went back to bed. Namjoon was woken again by a loud scream that very clearly belonged to Jackson. So yes it had clearly started.

The rest of the day Jackson clearly got more and more paranoid. Just because the universe seemed to be out to spite Jackson. That one time that he relaxed and refused to believe in a fake spider, it was a real one that they had no part in placing.

They all had the Saturday off and they were slowly exposed to be part of the harass Jackson train. The big change in everything was when it was found that Namjoon was part of it all. Jackson just looked like everything was suddenly wrong as he pulled Namjoon into the nest alone.

Namjoon had thought that he would be in trouble that Jackson was angry with him or anything like that. But it wasn’t really what happened instead Jackson just looked at him sadly. “Am I not paying enough attention to you?” Namjoon wanted to interrupt, to say that Jackson had gotten it all wrong, that it was nothing like that. But Jackson didn’t let him speak instead just sitting down on the bed confused. “I know that BamBam and Mark do this for attention. It is in their genes, but you aren’t having a half heat, you don’t have a pack you can’t get a half heat. Is it because I don’t pay enough attention to you? Am I not good enough?”

Oh Namjoon had fucked up.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT NEXT CHAPTER!
> 
> How to end it... 
> 
> Well, I have an idea, I teased this to one person in the comment why not tease all of you, especially since it is SO long until we are going to see TVXQ and Seokjin.
> 
> The reason TVXQ broke up... was cause SM tried to force them to change sub-genders, by surgery and pills.
> 
> Oh and Heechul is pregnant, not important for the story at all... I just wanted to mention it


	45. You're like a single ray of light, This surpasses fluttering feelings, Like I'm going through puberty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes I am aware that I didn't publish Monday, but my life have been against me. hear me out
> 
> All last week I have been really sick, which is why if I have seemed rude responding to comments I really didn't mean to, just my body have been trying to kill me.  
> Sunday I got the call that one of my group mates had accidentally scrubbed a lot of the data I needed which meant that I worked both Monday and Tuesday until midnight and then got home having to get up at 7.
> 
> Tuesday when I came home I thought I would do some writing, but I managed to corrupt something on my mouse and every time I connected it to a pc it fucked up the pc, which meant I spend 3 hours trying to fix it. And yeah that is why there was no chapter Monday or Tuesday... I'm sorry

The problem for Namjoon was that he had no idea how to actually explaining what he was doing. He had no idea why he had even joined BamBam and Mark in this weird game they were playing, it was normally not something he would have done. It simply wasn’t him. He just… It just felt right, but now with Jackson sitting on the edge of the bed looking sad and lost and he regrets everything leading up to this moment.

“Jackson, please it’s nothing like that.” Namjoon tried, but it didn’t seem to calm the older alpha.

“Then what is it? I… I can’t change if nobody tells me what is wrong, Mark does the same just clams up and leave me to figure stuff out myself!” Jackson just looked… pathetic there was no other way to put it, and Namjoon felt so guilty.

He should have seen it coming. He knew that no matter what Jackson tried to show to the outside world, he was easily insecure something he tried to hide from the world, but Namjoon should really have known better.

Namjoon sat down next to Jackson and took his hand as softly as he could and intertwined their fingers. “This is going to be a weird conversation so try to understand me, because I don’t really understand it myself.” Namjoon took a deep breath to explain to probably the alpha he trusted the most. What the fuck was going on in his mess of a brain? “You know that BamBam is in half heat, and when he came to me to join him, I was a little confused at first. I never even heard of a half heat so it was new to me.”

Jackson in true Jackson fashion was ready to break his promise of silence to speak up, probably explaining something about how it wasn’t Namjoon’s fault he didn’t know. Luckily Namjoon knew him and before he even had a chance to speak he had placed his free hand over Jackson’s mouth interrupting his speech. “No first when I’m done,” he took a deep breath before starting to speak again, “Jinyoung explained it to me, and for some reason I agreed with it. I can’t explain why I thought it was a good idea, it just made sense to me, it was like some part of me wanted to do it.”

Namjoon sighed removing his hand from Jackson’s mouth and instead resting his head on Jackson’s shoulder. They hadn’t really had any time just for the two of them since Namjoon had gotten there and now he was about to leave. It was kinda sad. While yes Namjoon was happy that he had gotten to spend so much time with all other members of Got7, and he was happy that he had gotten so close with everybody, he felt happy with them.

“I tried to keep everybody from doing things too extreme, that was also the reason I took Yugyeom with me. I’m sorry if I hurt you I never meant to do that. I just sometimes struggle with controlling my instincts. I never had them so harsh as they are right now, plus Daesung-hyung warned me that I might end up suffering from half heats as well.” He gave Jackson’s hand a slight squeeze. “I’m sorry, it really had nothing to do with anything. I am happy with how you treat me, how any of you treat me. Really I promise.”

Jackson leaned his head on top of Namjoon’s. “Can I speak now?”

“Yeah I am done explaining.”

“I’m sorry I might have overreacted. After what happened with Mark I just easily get insecure and I’m always worried that I’m doing something wrong or that I’m not good enough. I took it out on you, I’m sorry Joonie,”

Namjoon felt Jackson’s soft lips in his hair and he closed his eyes for just a second to enjoy the moment. “When I go, promise me you will talk to Mark about it. This isn’t healthy that you constantly worry about not being good enough, please tell me you will talk to him.”

  
Jackson sighed, but Namjoon knew he had won when Jackson nodded and said in a low voice. “I promise, it is just hard to start conversations like that. How do I start it without making it all about me? Hey Mark, you know how I almost made you not want us by being clingy? Yeah that made me insecure?”

Of course, this was Jackson after all, the person who had this weird idea that him expressing his concerns and feelings was somehow negative and not okay. “What about, ‘Hey Mark, since we are a pack I want to talk about somethings. I really love you and sometimes I am worried that you don’t love me back, or love me as much as I love you’”

“I know he loves me” Jackson mumbled, but Namjoon knew him enough to know that he had gotten the point. “But I will talk to him, thanks Joonie.”

Namjoon just smiled and sat there for a second both just enjoying the time they had together and the silence, until Jackson didn’t seem to be able to keep the silence anymore. “I didn’t actually think about it, but this is the most time we have spent alone since you got here.”

The omega just smiled finally moving his head away from Jackson’s shoulder, mainly because Jackson was so much shorter than him it was actually starting to hurt. “Yeah, it has been really nice though. I have enjoyed my time here, you all made me so happy. I feel safe here.”

Namjoon was suddenly half tackled into the bed and cuddling with Jackson. It was in a callback to right before Namjoon had his heart attack as Jackson’s hands managed to find their way up under Namjoon’s shirt resting over Namjoon’s heart.

“When Jinyoung got the call… I was so fucking scared.” Oh yeah… they hadn’t talked about that at all, the had all been so focused on just being happy. Namjoon should have known he wouldn’t get away with it.

He put his hand under Jackson’s shirt and lightly petted the older man’s smaller hand. “I never meant for it to happen. I wasn’t trying to kill myself, you know that right?”

“I know… Kinda… Maybe? I thought that maybe you just had enough of it all, that you were just finally done with everything. Jiho and I had plans, we wanted to help you. We were both terrified that we were too late, that it was our fault.” Namjoon knew he had to stop Jackson, that if continued this rant it would end them both in a place they didn’t want. He knew that Jackson blamed the rest of BTS even if it wasn’t their fault.

So he decided to use his new privilege of being courted, as he turned around in Jackson arms and softly kissed the alpha. It was such a weird thing, but still happy feeling to feel Jackson just relax against him and kiss Namjoon back.

Namjoon couldn’t explain how happy it made him to feel Jackson’s hands settle on his hips and for his own hand to find a home in Jackson’s bleached locks. Before he went to Got7 he never had kisses before, he knew that Bts loves him, they just didn’t see him like that, right?

Namjoon could easily become addicted to kisses he felt. He had no idea how people weren’t just doing it all the time. Feeling somebody else's body so close to yours and their lips moving softly against your own. It was amazing, something Namjoon had learned to love every day.

For a moment they were both just happy laying there slowly exploring each others mouth. Namjoon who was still learning the art of kissing trying his best to match what Jackson was doing, and Jackson for his part was pulling out all the stops to blow Namjoon away.

Neither had no idea how long time they were laying there. Or how it came to be Namjoon on top of Jackson, with the alpha having both of his hands on Namjoon’s now way too skinny thighs. The rest of Got7 seemed to have left them for themselves, clearly thinking that they needed some time for just them. When Jackson pulled away both of them slightly out of breath Namjoon was worried that he had done something wrong when Jackson on a breathy voice said. “Yeah we need to stop.”

Namjoon sat up straight, or as straight as he could still straddling Jackson. “I’m sorry, I know I’m not a very good kisser.”

Jackson just laughed a little. “Joonie that is not the problem, but if we keep going I am going to get turned on by having your body like this above me. So we should really stop.”

The younger bit down on his full lower lip, the only part of him that was still full, something that made Jackson a little sad as he petted Namjoon’s thighs where his shorts stopped, until Namjoon spoke up “What if I’m okay with that?” Jackson tried to speak up, but Namjoon put a hand over his mouth once again. “I trust you… I want my first time to be with you.”

That seemed to make Jackson speechless an action that Namjoon at this point of their friendship thought was not possible, and when he finally let Jackson speak the older seemed more worried than happy. Which in turn made Namjoon worry. “Are you sure? Joonie you don’t have to do this, it is still very early and I understand if you aren’t ready.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “I’m not made of glass. I don’t have a negative connection to sex, and I’m 21. I might have presented late, but that doesn’t change that I am not 18. I can make these decisions and not feel pressured.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you Joonie.” Jackson petted Namjoon’s thigh again as an apology, so he really liked Namjoon’s thighs okay! Even though he did prefer them less skinny. “I just want to make sure. This is something you can’t take back, and I’m not sure that I am the right person for it.” Jackson sighed a little. “I want your first time to be special.”

That was what made Namjoon giggle. “Silly alpha, you are special to me, having my first time with you isn’t only special, but also feels right. You are the alpha I trust the most, you have always been there for me.”

Jackson at this point wasn’t really sure what he was arguing for anymore. Namjoon was right and Jackson had to trust that Namjoon knew what was best for him, that Namjoon knew what he wanted and what he didn’t, and… he wanted Namjoon. “If we do this I need you to know that you can back out at any moment. I am not a baby alpha anymore I have control over myself and if you want to stop you can call for us to stop and we will stop no matter what is happening.” Namjoon nodded to that, finding it kinda sweet how careful Jackson was with him, but then again… Jackson had always been like that, from that first moment where they meet always making sure that Namjoon was okay. That was just the kind of person Jackson was.

The alpha kept on his rant when he was sure that Namjoon got the first part. “And I won't knot you.” Namjoon was ready to disagree, he had seen how good it had felt when Jackson had knotted BamBam, but it was Jackson’s time to cover the younger's mouth with a soft hand movement. “This isn’t up for debate, you are not ready for it. It has nothing to do with me not respecting you as an adult or anything like that. But your first time getting knotted is something that deserves a lot more thought than just this, when you get knotted for the first time… That is something that stays with you, and it is okay to wait. Mark hasn’t tried it yet, he wants it to be the first time he has a heat with us, your first knot is not a rush you need to reach, it is not something you need to do soon. And I don’t feel comfortable doing it.”

Namjoon nodded slowly, he understood what Jackson was saying and maybe Jackson was right. After all it wasn’t something he needed to do yet. He was happy as it was right now, this wasn’t a spring for him to catch up to every other omega his age, this was about being close to Jackson.

His problem was that no matter how much brain he had and how good he normally was with words, he always struggled with telling people what he wanted. Which was what lead him to sitting as he was in that moment straddling Jackson while chewing on his lower lip. What he didn’t know was that he made at the same time an adorable display, but also looked hot as fuck and it didn’t make it better when he without thinking about leaned back and pressed his yes flat but still very comfortable ass against Jackson’s crotch. “Jooonie, please I am trying to have a conversation.”

Namjoon’s tanned cheeks flared up in a red color as he felt Jackson’s erection through the loose fabric of his shorts. “I… I still want you.”

That was all Jackson needed to know before he rolled them over leaving Namjoon on his back with Jackson in between his thighs. “I want our first time to be about you, and I am going to make sure that you never forget about it.” Jackson’s smile was cheeky and Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling, or at least trying before Jackson stopped all sound from leaving him by kissing him deeply.

It was no longer the soft and free teasing as Jackson’s tongue without hesitation found its way into Namjoon mouth and started a teasing, but still hot dance of wrapping itself around Namjoon’s leaving the younger with no other option than just trying his best to keep up and mimic what Jackson was doing.

Namjoon buried his hand in Jackson’s bleach damaged hair, trying his best to center himself as Jackson moved. Softly nipping at Namjoon’s lower lip holding it between his teeth in a teasing movement. At the same time grinding both of their still clothed hips together, forcing a whiny moan from the younger mouth.

When Jackson finally let Namjoon’s lips go they were kiss swollen and so irresistible that Jackson couldn’t stop himself from running his thumb over the lower one. It was Jackson’s time to try and control his moans as the tip of his thumb slipped into Namjoon mouth and the omega’s soft tongue ran over the pad of his finger.

Jackson couldn’t stop himself from moaning low. “Here I am trying to focus on making you feel good and now you force me to think about how good you would look with something in your mouth. How good you looked with your lips swollen and wet from Mark’s slick and that isn’t fair when I am trying to focus on you.”

Namjoon had no idea what it was, but he felt playful as he sucked a little on Jackson’s thumb trying for his best innocent look. Which seemed to work as Jackson pulled his hand out of Namjoon’s mouth with a moan. “Yeah you need to stop looking at me like that or we might never get to the point of this.”

The younger just giggled a little. “I’m sorry.” He was sure that he heard Jackson mumble ‘no you aren’t’ before he first pulled his own shirt off and then Namjoon following. Normally Namjoon would feel really self conscious about his body, but this time he was more focused on looking and taking in Jackson’s body.

While yes he had seen Jackson naked before, just like the other male had seen him naked during his rut, but this was different. Both of them were clear in their mind and while yes Jackson’s herbal scent was flowing around Namjoon mixing with his still weak scent, but it wasn’t overwhelming anymore he could still think. Both males were just looking at each other for a few moments, before either moved and surprising to everybody it was actually Namjoon that moved first not being able to stop himself from running his hands over Jackson’s chest. At first the older flinched, but he quickly explained himself. “Your hands are cold.”

Namjoon was slow and keeping his hands on Jackson’s side not sure where to go from there. He wanted to touch, but he wasn’t sure how. Luckily Jackson seemed to get it as he guided Namjoon’s hands up his chest running the younger soft hands over his abs up to his pecks. Jackson let out a soft hum clearly enjoying Namjoon’s hands on him, the omega couldn’t stop himself from lightly pinching the nipple he found there making the older let out a moan again. Namjoon found that he actually liked being able to force the noises out of Jackson he felt weirdly in control.

The alpha seemed to have enough of Namjoon’s control and decided it was time to take it back as he captured both of his hands in his own. It wasn’t harsh and Namjoon would without question get out of the hold if he wanted. But he wasn’t sure that was actually what he would want as Jackson leaned down to place a love bite right under Namjoon’s jawline. “Since you are going to be leaving us soon, I thought maybe it is good to give you something so you won't forget about us.”

Namjoon moaned out as he felt Jackson’s free hand slowly pet his exposed hipbone. “No matter what happens I would never forget about you guys, we are friends. No matter which pack I end up with, nothing will change what we all have.” The words were mumbled as Namjoon had closed his eyes to focus on the pleasure Jackson was pulling from his body.

“How do you want to do this?” Jackson questioned while busying himself with marking up Namjoon as much as possible. Okay maybe the thought that he knew that they only had a few more days together at max had taken over his mind and he really wanted to put his mark on Namjoon, it was just who he was.

The omega blushed a little thinking about it. “Like this, if it is okay… I want to see you.”

Jackson kinda wanted to coo over how soft and cute and Namjoon was. But he decided that it probably wouldn’t make Namjoon feel more comfortable with him so he just nodded a little. “Good choice.” He regretted it the second he separated himself from Namjoon’s cold body to quickly pull off the rest of his own clothes and Namjoon’s. He was happy that he was quick thinking enough to grab the lube while he was up since he knew that Namjoon couldn’t self lubricate and he wasn’t about to risk anything.

As soon as they were in physical contact again, both of the idols let out a little sigh. Namjoon because Jackson was covering his cold body and warming him up to the bone and maybe also because Jackson’s scent was much stronger as he nuzzled the oldest scent gland happily. The herbal scent that smelt so much like the tea that Jackson favoured was so clearly and unapologetically Jackson it was amazing.

Namjoon relaxed his body the best he could as he saw Jackson drizzle lube on his fingers. He could trust Jackson he knew that he could, one deep breath was enough to relax him. He had tried this, Jinyoung had fingered him before, so it was nothing new. While he was half lost in his own mind Jackson had warmed up the lube and pressed a kiss to Namjoon soft lips. “Spread your legs a little more for me baby, and remember no matter how far we are you can always say stop.”

“I know,” Namjoon mumbled leaning up to get another kiss from the older man, “now before I get as old as you.”

Jackson nipped at Namjoon’s lower lip as payback. “You can be such a brat, we need to restrict how much time you spend with BamBam this is clearly having a negative effect on you!” Namjoon giggled a little trying to keep himself relaxed as he felt Jackson trace his rim with a lube slick fingers.

There was still that little annoying voice in his mind that said he wasn’t a really omega. That he was wrong for not being able to produce slick himself, but he did his best to push the thought away. Doctor Choi had said that he would be able to do it at some point, that this wasn’t him being broken that it was just his body being slow at catching up.

After all Namjoon was still an omega and his body opened itself easily for the first of Jackson’s fingers. It wasn’t even that uncomfortable after all this was what his body was meant for. If anything it just didn’t feel like it was enough. While of course it was so sweet that Jackson was trying to be safe and soft with him, but Namjoon wasn’t actually going to break under him. “Jackson please… More.”

Jackson seemed split for a second, but he needed to trust Namjoon also he knew that BamBam and Mark needed almost no prep and that omegas didn’t really in general it, was how their bodies were built. He was still going to open up Namjoon slowly, if nothing else then for the fact that he wasn’t wet himself and Jackson needed to be sure that he was slick everywhere and he wouldn’t accidentally rip something. It was very very unlikely because he was not going to be rough with Namjoon, but the point was still there.

“I know baby, but we are doing this my way and I want to make sure that you feel no pain at all, just hold out a little bit more.” As he slid his second finger in he kissed Namjoon swallowing up the light moan leaving the omega’s mouth. He slowly started fucking Namjoon with the two fingers, he knew it was nothing compared to the three fingers that Jinyoung had fucked Namjoon with during his rut, because yes he could remember a little bit of it, a little… fuck triggered ruts they sucked balls.

“At this speed I should have asked Yugyeom instead.” Namjoon teased a little while running his hand through Jackson’s bleached locks, both of their hair had to look like bird nests.

Jackson knew Namjoon was not teasing, but he could still feel the hit to his pride and feeling himself feel insecure about it. “Please understand Joonie, I can’t smell you scent… I can’t use that to decide how you are and how ready you are. I need to go slow to make sure that I don’t hurt you or do something wrong.” He nuzzled Namjoon’s scent gland and not for the first time he hated his own sense of scent… How much he would give for having it back.

So yeah… That made Namjoon feel terrible, he had no idea that alphas or anybody could really use people’s scent to feel how ready they were. While yes he knew that you could smell, especially an omega, when they were in pain or distraught since those were scents he had smelled while living with BTS. But he never knew it worked with pleasure as well, that did explain how Zelo’s sakura flower scent had gotten so overwhelming just around the time he came. Namjoon had never really thought about that since he also came at that time. “I was just teasing, I never meant it like that.” Namjoon’s voice was still weak from the pleasure flowing through him.

Jackson nuzzled a little more into Namjoon’s scent gland, now scissoring his fingers. “I know, but I wanted to explain myself. I am not mad at you or sad, but communication is important isn’t that what you tried to teach me?” He nipped the gland a little before going back to Namjoon’s lips. “Ready for one more?”

Namjoon wanted to swear at him, wanted to tell him that of course he was ready for one more! He felt like he had been ready for hours, but instead he just nodded and let out a little whine he had never heard from his own body before. He finally felt full as Jackson inserted the third finger, it wasn’t as full as when Jinyoung had done it since the beta had both longer and wider fingers, but this still felt really good.

He bit down on his lip trying to hold back the low moans, trying to be considerate for the other Got7 members in the mouse. But Jackson freed the lip softly from Namjoon’s teeth with a kiss. “I want to hear you, I want to hear that you like what I am doing to you. Don’t think about everybody else, we don’t have anything to hide here. This is okay and not something to be embarrassed about.”

Namjoon blushed, but he nodded being unable to keep back his moans anymore just trusting Jackson with his body. Neither were really sure how long Jackson spent on preparing him, but Jackson on purpose avoided his prostate and his erection. He didn’t want to push Namjoon close to the edge, he wanted them to reach the finish together.

When he finally decided Namjoon was finished and pulled his fingers out of the taller man, Namjoon let out a little whine clearly not happy with losing the feeling of finally feeling full. Jackson chuckled a little kissing Namjoon on the cheek. “Just wait a little baby.” He grabbed the bottle of lube one last time to spread it over his neglected erection. He looked down at Namjoon under him, heavy eyes and spread naked all for Jackson’s eyes to feast upon, it was great. It was amazing.

He guided Namjoon’s legs further up his hips, not really wanting to test if Namjoon was flexible enough to put his legs over his shoulders, because he was pretty sure that the answer was no. He made the decision to let himself slide into Namjoon in one thrust instead of doing it slowly, deciding that it was probably better for both of them.

When Jackson was finally buried to the hilt inside the new omega, it was like time stopped for both of them taking the time to just focus on the feeling of being connected like that, until Namjoon spoke up. “You can move, I am okay.”

It took a few seconds for Jackson to nod and actually move as he was told to do. He was still so careful with Namjoon. “You look so pretty like this, spread out, so pretty.”

“Shut up.” The younger mumbled with a moan blushing. The pleasure Jackson was giving him was intense, and he couldn’t stop himself from sneaking his own hand down to wrap around his hard erection as he felt over and over again Jackson’s hips hitting his ass as he bottomed out.

Sweet nothings were still being released from Jackson’s mouth over and over again, telling Namjoon how good he was taking him, how pretty he was and how tight he felt. Namjoon somehow knew that neither of them were going to last that long. Especially when Jackson grabbed his free hand and intertwined their fingers together over Namjoon’s head and took his still kiss swollen lips in a harsh kiss that had more tongue and teeth than real actual technique.

“Jackson, I’m…” Namjoon moaned against the other's lips, feeling to shy to actually say it. He didn’t know why he was so shy. Maybe it was because this was the first time it was happening. Maybe it was Jackson or maybe it was something else.

“You can come Joonie, it is okay you don’t have to hold back it is okay.” Jackson was actually glad that Namjoon was close as well, he knew that he himself wouldn’t last much longer. Normally he could last, but something about this was pushing him towards the edge and then it was all over.

Namjoon came with Jackson’s name on his lips, just like last time eyes clenched shut as the waves of pleasure rolled over him. The pleasure somehow intensified when he felt Jackson come inside of him. It felt wet… full and nice.

Namjoon was actually impressed that Jackson managed to hold himself up. His entire body shaking from his orgasm as Namjoon finally managed to open his eyes and softly pet Jackson’s hair.

It had felt good… It had felt so good to finally be with the alpha, and he couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling Jackson’s scent gland forcing a weak smile from the older’s lips as he whispered. “Thank you, thanks for being my first and caring so much.”

It finally seemed enough for Jackson as he kinda collapsed after having pulled out of Namjoon and moved a little to the side. The smaller alpha somehow managed to gather up Namjoon in his arms and cuddle him. “No thank you for trusting me.”

They laid there for a many minutes until Namjoon finally spoke up. “Jackson we have to get up.”

“Noooo nap now.” Jackson mumbled sleepily.

“I am sticky!”

“We will fix that later, nap now even if you can’t nap… Please just lie here with me, it’s better for both of us. Our bodies doesn’t deal well with separation after sex, it feels abandoned, solve your puzzle, write lyrics anything… Please just don’t leave me here.” Jackson’s voice was a little sad, and Namjoon to be honest had never thought of leaving Jackson behind he wanted both of them to get up and take a shower. The thought of moving away from Jackson just seemed wrong.

Namjoon ended up surrendering to Jackson’s cuddling even though he knew both would regret it later. He was kinda sleepy himself, but somehow he knew that he wouldn’t be able to find sleep so yawning he worked on his little puzzle box, and without even thinking about it he pushed the last slide into place… and it opened.

What he found inside was nothing like what he had expected. The puzzle box was split into two rooms one full the other empty, both covered by a letter, which Namjoon picked up to read. And as he read it… he started to cry… Fucking Himchan. Namjoon swore as the beta’s soft scent of honeysuckle filled his nostrils and tears fell on the letter. And with that… his time with Got7 was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are officially done with Got7's arc, 
> 
> Anybody who can guess what is in the letter!?
> 
> Also since you guys liked the little information about other packs that aren't important to the story so here is another one.
> 
> Winner and iKon is one big pack, Taehyun left both Winner as a group and the pack after having mental issues, which even if nobody really knows it is created by not getting treated right by his pack alpha who doesn't really respect omega's... 10 points to who ever can guess the pack alpha. That story line might get picked up since certain pack alpha aren't good at respecting omega's from older packs *Cough cough* he might be mean to Daesung who doesn't want to bother his pack with it *cough cough*
> 
> For who made Hechuul pregnant, it is a beta from Super Junior M!
> 
> Next chapter we get the what is in the letter and finally get Seungri's gift plus some actual fallout from Namjoon neglet shows it ugly head


	46. And I'm so sick of love songs, Yeah I hate dem love songs

Namjoon’s goodbye with Got7 had ended up being a lot more emotional than he had expected. After having showed the other idols what had been in the puzzlebox they agreed that it was time for him to go there. Jackson had pulled Namjoon into a tight hug and Namjoon had to admit that Jackson had been right. It was hard to get away from Jackson after their time together, and both could feel it as Jackson mumbled into his ear. “I’m going to miss you.”

Namjoon just nodded hugging the shorter alpha as tight as he could, knowing that he would indeed miss Jackson. No matter what happened Jackson was still one of his closest friends. Next had been BamBam who looked like he just wanted to jump Namjoon and never let him go again, but after the failure that was when Namjoon arrived he seemed to control himself. Instead hugging the older omega close  “You have gotten so far already Joonie, no matter what happens who you pick… Don’t forget us, or I am going to come and kidnap you.”

The next one was Yugyeom and this time it was Namjoon’s turn to speak up. “You need to make okay with Jungkook. This is hurting you to keep it inside, wait until we are back from Japan and then talk to him. He might not say it, but he misses you as well.” He decides not to tell the baby alpha about his call with Hongbin. Mainly because the beta had sworn him to secrecy, which was probably good unless BTS in general should suffer the fate of getting killed by two of Vixx’s omegas.

Yugyeom didn’t say anything, but it was okay Namjoon knew that he understood him and he knew that Yugyeom really did miss Jungkook alot. Next up was Mark, Namjoon pulling him into a tight hug. After Jackson, Mark was probably the person he had a closest connection to, and he knew Mark cared for him as well.

“Markie, you need to talk to Jackson, you two still have things that aren’t worked out. He is worried you don’t love him. While he knows it on the surface his heart is not in it.” He mumbled it low enough that nobody else could hear it.

Mark placed a soft kiss to Namjoon’s collarbone. “I… I knew that I think, I promise I will talk to him. This is for life and we need to make sure everything works out.”

“Good boy.” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from teasing, earning him a light slap on the ass from the older omega. But the well meaning smile he got when he pulled away from him showed that everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay in the end.

Youngjae was the one who almost threw himself in Namjoon’s arms, even though he was still careful clearly not wanting to knock out Namjoon due to his low weight. “Thank you.” Was all Namjoon said and Youngjae didn’t answer, both of them knew what he was talking about… the nightmares.

Second to last was Jinyoung, his hug was lot softer than everybody else’s, not feeling the need to almost crush Namjoon between them and Jaebum joined hugging Namjoon from behind, as Jaebum mumbled out. “I am…”

Namjoon got ripped from his memory of leaving when his phone blared it’s loud ringtone, causing Namjoon to fumble after it not even noticing who was calling. “Namjoon speaking?”

“Namjoon-ah it’s Chanyeol?”

“Chanyeol-hyung? Is something wrong, is Jimin okay?”

“He is okay I promise. I just have a few questions, or Baekhyun and Yixing does, but both doesn’t want to be awkward. I on the other hand don’t care.”

Namjoon laughed a little. “It’s okay, what are the questions, I guess they have something to do with Jimin.”

“It’s about sex.” Namjoon could feel himself flare up blushing.

“Uhm… I hadn’t presented so I don’t know much about what was going on in the pack, but I will try my best to answer.” God he hadn’t expected it to be this awkward.

“No no no! It isn’t like that, damn it, this was what I were trying to avoid.” This was very different from what he was used to from Chanyeol. The older alpha in general sounded really confused and maybe a little worried, which in return made Namjoon worried.

“Chanyeol what is wrong, tell me straight up.”

“Does Jimin have a negative past around sex?”

That… was not what Namjoon had expected, he wasn’t sure what he had expected, but this wasn’t it that was for sure. He racked his brain to try and think about it, he wanted to be honest with the older alpha since they were taking care of Jimin and Jimin deserved the best and if the truth could help then he wanted that. “No… I… I don’t think so, nothing I can think of comes up.”

Chanyeol sighed a little. “He seems… ashamed of having a sex drive, I don’t know how to explain it, but in general he just seems ashamed of it, especially around the alphas. We have a hard time getting him away from either Baek, Yixing or Kyungsoo. Baekhyun has been keeping what the conversation between you and him was about… Namjoon this isn’t about me being nosy or wanting to know everything, I promise…,” there was silence for a second, before he continued sounding sad, “Jimin is here with us now, and we all really care about him. He is so easy to care about, and we want to help him, but it is like there is something we don’t now and we can’t reach it. To be honest… I think he think’s omegas are worth less than alphas. Baekhyun had a loud argument with Minseok yesterday, nothing important, but Jimin seemed… scared… scared that something was going to happen to Baek. Please Namjoon anything you can tell me will help. I just want to help him, we all want. Even Minseok and Sehun, they just… struggle showing it.”

Namjoon felt a little guilty having showed what was his problem as group leader on somebody else. Especially when that somebody else was Exo who already had their issues. “I’m sorry dragging you guys into it, but I had nowhere else to turn that I trusted with Jimin who he would feel safe with as well. I thought of Monsta X, but it would be to obvious what I was doing and he would catch on. If he notices anybody is trying to help him he is going to clam up and block himself out. That is why I wanted Baekhyun to act like he needed Jimin.”

Chanyeol’s voice was both soft and stable at the same time, clearly feeling omega in distress and the older alpha followed his instinct. “This is not problem for us Namjoon, if anything… This is actually helping us as well, having another omega around is good for all of us. Baekhyun alone has gotten a lot more relaxed about it. It is kinda like we have gotten our own Baekhyun back, he can laugh with Jimin. I know you just presented, but it isn’t a joke omegas really do not other omegas and Baekhyun struggle at really letting other people in after Tao and LuLu. But we are also a pack full of alphas who can all clearly feel that something is wrong with Jimin. He seems ashamed of not only his very natural sexual desires as an omega, but also seems slightly… afraid… no that isn’t the right word to afraid, uneasy? Yes that is better, uneasy around alphas like he is worried that we are going to yell at him.”

Namjoon sighed a little, he had hoped that sending Jimin to a pack with the most softball alphas around would have helped. But clearly it hadn’t so Namjoon let himself fall back into his couch and explained everything to Chanyeol… and by everything he meant everything. Even if he knew that Yoongi wasn’t a bad person, and he never meant to hurt Jimin, and he knew that Jungkook was good person as well, he also knew that those two had done a job on Jimin’s mental state. A job that even though Seokjin had tried his best to stop it had worked, mentally Namjoon sighed.

He felt sorry for Seokjin, he himself had not really noticed what had gone on in the pack until now that his mind was more clear. Back then he had struggled just keeping himself above water, struggled to just get through the day breathing. Those were pack issues, he couldn’t solve them as a group leader, he had noticed small things like Seokjin’s anxiety and he had helped Jimin to actually stop starving himself (takes one to know one after all), he had really tried his best, but some things even he himself had been blind to… the blatant indoctrinating of the maknae line was one of them.

Seokjin had tried to stay sane between them. Hoseok… Hoseok had his own struggles, but Seokjin had known that this was not how a pack was meant to run. But he had been so desperate to fit in, and struggled so much to speak up due to his anxiety, leaving the oldest member of BTS to just sit there and not being able to do anything about it.

After he was done explaining both Chanyeol and Namjoon just sat in silence for a moment, and Namjoon wasn’t sure he even wanted to know what the older alpha was thinking about them. God he had to think how fucked up the other pack was, instead his voice was weirdly soft as he spoke to Namjoon. “This isn’t your fault.”

“What?”

“I can hear in your voice that you are blaming yourself for not doing anything before this. But you can’t blame yourself for this, for what I understand you tried your best to hold together a group who tried their best not to be together.”

“But! Jimin he…”

Namjoon never got to finish before Chanyeol interrupted him. “Namjoon, this isn’t your fault. It is everybody else's fault if anything. Bang PD-nim’s fault for believing Yoongi when he said he didn’t need help. Hoseok’s fault for not stepping up for his own pack. Jungkook’s fault for falling for it so easily, Taehyung’s fault for running away from his problems. Seokjin’s fault for not getting help with his issues, and Yoongi’s fault for starting all this shit!”

“No! They did their best! They couldn’t know better!” Namjoon desperately tried to explain, “this isn’t their fault they were just the victims.”

Chanyeol laughed a little. “That is my point, majority of people were just a victim. Everything that has happened Namjoon, is just a symptom of the real problem. It is that they don’t speak to each other. Had Yoongi talked about his past and explained it would never have started. Had Hoseok spoken about his issues that caused him to hate his own sub gender he would have been able to speak up. If Seokjin had talked about his anxiety and gotten help it would have been okay and he would have stopped them. If Jungkook had talked about his anger and gotten help he would have seen what was really going on. If Taehyung had talked about his past he could have gotten help before he got to this, if Jimin…” on that one Chanyeol hesitated a little, it was clear that he had a soft spot for the omega. Then again with having lost as many omegas as Exo had it was obvious that Chanyeol in general had a soft spot for omegas. “If Jimin had spoken about his issues he could have gotten help.”

Namjoon hesitated a little bit, he wasn’t sure how to say what he wanted. “This is something you have experience with isn’t it?”

Chanyeol sighed a little… and then he explained what had really happened with Tao and Yifan and explained why they had lost both their pack alpha and their youngest omega. Namjoon just sat there in shock, he should have known that believing the public excuse that it had been a split over not getting enough work in China, over money… he should have known that was a lie.

“Is Baekhyun safe?” Was the only thing Namjoon could think of saying.

The alpha sighed. “Yeah… They made other contracts with the Exo K members than the Exo M members, xeno-phobia I assume, but don’t worry Baekhyun is safe as well. And our dorm is a safe area, they can’t touch Jimin here either.”

“I’m sorry… I understand why this matters so much to you now.”

“To all of us. Minseok and Sehun are trying to act like they don’t care, but they do… They know that Baek get’s easily attached even if it isn’t to an omega in his pack. There was a whole really weird situation with Taemin back after Lu Han… left” At that Chanyeol threw himself into a story about how Baekhyun had almost kidnapped the SHINee omega after the baby omega had spent a few weeks at their dorm since while SM could block Jongin from coming to SHINee they couldn’t stop Taemin to coming to him.

In the end of the story both of rappers were laughing, that was why Namjoon loved Chanyeol. While he could be serious and had a way to big heart, he could also make people laugh easily. He kinda reminded him of Hoseok like that sometimes, well Hoseok from a year ago. “Is the rest of SHINee alright with Baekhyun being the adopted baby?”

“Well there was a long conversation about how Baekhyun was actually older than Taemin, which kinda ended with Taemin just saying age was a social construct. I swear it was way too much fun especially since it was at a SM town concert and Amber and Krystal were dying in the background, and we might have gotten the question if we were all up for adoption.”

“Oh, were you guys then?”

“Yup! Both me and Jongdae are happily adopted by Red Velvet!”

“Aren’t they all younger than you guys?”

“Age is a social construct! Do you not listen at all!?”

Namjoon laughed a little again, but then got a serious. “Thank you for caring so much for Jimin, I sometimes question if splitting them all up was the right choice, but I talked with both Jihoon and Taekwoon… Both Taehyung and Jungkook are doing really good and Jungkook seems to have understood what he did wrong and both are actually happy again. I saw both of them hug at the dance studio.”

“It was the right thing to do,” Chanyeol said confident, “now that we know what is wrong with Jimin, we can softly and slowly start helping him feel better. And without tooting our own horn, I think we might be the best to help Jimin with his problems. You don’t find a pack who are more protective over omegas than us… Maybe Big Bang or Block B, but even they don't know how it feels to loose an omega, and we lost two. Don’t worry Namjoon, when you guys leave for Japan you are going to get a new a confident Jimin back, and if we are lucky… He might even help us as well. If anybody can get Minseok and Sehun to open up it is Jimin. Plus another member of another pack, might make Jongin feel a little less lonely.”

Namjoon smiled a little, and he could feel in himself how he relax. “Thank you so much Chanyeol, I can’t explain how much this means to me.”

“No thank you for trusting us.” Namjoon could hear a loud yell from Chanyeol’s side of the line. “Oh shit… I think Baekhyun might have stolen something from the kitchen, which means I am about to get blamed. I am going to run before Kyungsoo actually kills me, see you Namjoon!”

Namjoon felt a lot more calm than he did before the call as he stared down at his phone with a soft smile. This might actually all work out in the end. Everybody was getting the help they needed, and their trip to Japan would end up working out perfectly with BTS finally being able to workout their issues with each other. After having worked out their issues with themselves, this was going to work! What could go wrong!? Namjoon should really have known better than to jinx it shouldn’t he? Silly Namjoon.

Namjoon got up from the couch to his bah where with slightly shaking hands carefully took out the folded letter from his new lyrics book. It felt right to keep it together with Wonho’s letter, both letters meant more to him than he could ever explain, and as Namjoon made his way back to the couch opening the letter to read it again.

_‘Hey Sweetcheeks,’_

At that Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a bit. Since he couldn’t stop himself from blushing a little by the fact that Himchan still remembered that name, it had been a joke before he presented. He had been over that B.a.p dorm working with Yongguk on some lyrics. Even if none of them ever got used or anything he liked working with the pack alpha. B.a.p hadn’t been active at that point due to the lawsuit with their company, but that hadn’t stopped the pack from being some of Namjoon’s closest friends.

He had been friendly arguing with Yongguk over something, and in the end it had ended with Yongguk laughingly saying. “Whatever you want sweetcheeks.”

Yongguk and Himchan, who had been lying across the room just reading laughed a little, but Namjoon had blushed without being able to control it, he had actually liked that.

As soon as the older idols had noticed the mood in the room changing they had quickly stopped laughing, and without even needed to say anything they had understood what was going on. From now on when it was just the three of them they had always used the nickname, and Namjoon had liked it like that. It was just a thing between them, and only them.

' _It’s good to see you managed to open the box, it took me months the first time. But then again you have that way too big brain of_ yours it _probably only needed a few weeks._

 _As you have probably noticed from the scratches inside this box, this isn’t new… It’s mine, but the truth is that you need it more than I do, but before I explain what it is, let me tell you are_ story _. A story I think you can understand at this moment._

_My story starts around the same time as we debuted. We both know that antis and sometimes even fans can be ruthless, which they were. I always liked reading comments, I always liked communicating with people._

_That was until all comments and posts I could find about me, were about how I needed to lose weight, how I was fat. The thing was that in the start I could logic in my head that they were just being mean to be mean, I knew I wasn’t fat. I knew that I needed to be the size I was which was the normal size for a human, maybe even on the smaller side since I did so much physical work._

_The thing is that was how it started, but with every comment and every read of the_ comments _they started to make more and more sense. I started to believe the comments. I started in the small ones, adding a few extra miles to my run, or staying an extra half hour at dance practice, and of course weighing myself all the time._

_When that didn’t give me the results I wanted and not fast enough I went to the more extreme, but that point it made sense in my head. When I looked in the mirror I just saw fat, I couldn’t stand mirrors, they become my worst nightmare. Which is not good when the entire dance practice room is made of mirrors, but I forced myself to look at myself in them, forced myself to compare myself to my groupmates… my packmates._

_I forced myself to write down why I was never as good as them, write down everything I need to change to deserve my spot in B.a.p. I would skip meals, when I had to eat I would only eat half and give the rest to Junhong with a light laugh saying he needed it since he was growing._ Actually _if he could stop growing now would be nice._

_I would write down everything I eat, and if I crossed a certain number I would need to punish myself. It was like I had a devil inside my head, always telling me how I wasn’t good enough, how I needed to eat less. Every Time I would eat, it would tell me that it was the reason I was useless._

_I found myself going on something called ‘pro-ana’ it is websites that glorify eating disorders, you learn how to hide and live with anorexia. Because that was what it was at that point. I would chew ice cubes or_ sugar free _gum to kill the hunger pains, when I was forced to eat with people I would chew and then spit out in a cup making it look like I_ were _eating._

 _I got so sick in my quest to become thinner, but I thought I was worth it_ because _people… fans… were calling me skinny now, and I just ignored every time I saw a comment about me being too skinny. It was like my brain didn’t even notice it._

_It was like I was in a haze. My brain functions were slowly shutting down not being able to feed it anymore. Looking over this I realize that this story could easily have ended with my funeral, anorexia is the most deadly mental disorder, as you noticed._

_I went to the hospital for it. It took a few weeks and I was ‘cured’ the problem is that we both know… there is no cure for anorexia, there is only dealing with the symptoms one day at a time. Anorexia is_ the a _constant life partner, and there is only to learn to live each day and surviving it._

 _This is where the box comes in. As you can see one side of the box is full. That side is full of compliments… of the truth that we all need to hear sometimes, for people who care. The other side is empty, there is where you are going_ to to _put the negative thoughts and let it go. I have learned now to live every day with my disorder and I have gotten a support system that loves me, but you aren’t that yet. So this is now yours._

 _Every time you feel sad or that voice in the back of your head says something negative you write it down on a piece of paper and then you put it in the box and then draw a piece of paper from the other side. That way you remove the lies and the_ false, _and replace it with the truth. You see that little piece with a star on it, that is the first one you need to read. I want you to write on a piece of paper ‘I am too fat’ place it in the box, and then read the truth._

 _I don’t know where you are right now, or how you are feeling, but I hope that after you read this you feel a little better. That you know that we are all here to help_ you, _and that we all care so much._

_I hope that this can become something you can rely on until you found a support system as well and until you don’t need it anymore. We don’t have to be ashamed of disorders Joonie, they don’t control us… we can learn to control them._

_Himchan <3’_

In his other hand Namjoon was holding the compliment the box and he smiled a little when he saw it, it was the same line written 6 times over by six different people

‘Kim Namjoon is perfect just the way he is.’

And for the first time in a very long time, Namjoon didn’t throw up the full breakfast he had had at Got7’s dorm… maybe it really was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was meant to be one chapter, but I am making it into two since I still have more Big Bang I want to tell!  
> So next chapter will contain Seungri's gift and how to sub gender 101, by Taeyang.
> 
> Other than that, like most of you have guessed it was indeed Bobby who were the alpha from Winkon!  
> Also I like the fact that I said beta from Suju M and you all guessed Henry! Like... It isn't wrong... but you could at least think I were more creative!
> 
> Secondly, I published the second side story of Hidden omega, it's a SHINee x Jongin! You can read that [HERE!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10753230/chapters/23842872)
> 
> Now to more sad parts of today, it might take me longer now to update, some issue at my university have arrived where I no longer have enough classes to get my student aid anymore, which means that I have to figure out what I am going to do until September where my new semester starts, so please have patience with me while this is happening I am trying my best, but I am also human on the side


	47. Ma baby your red lips look like cherry red, My eyes are fixed and steady, But just looking would be impolite

The phonecall Namjoon had with Himchan asking for permission to stay with B.a.p cause even if they were courting him he didn’t want to just assume that he could go there, was sobby and soft. Namjoon’s voice was still rough after crying which the B.a.p beta had instantly figured out, which had to lead up to almost an hour talking on the phone until Himchan got pulled away cause it was dinner time.

Namjoon sad back with a soft smile and just looked at his phone for a moment, it had been a very long time since he had gotten to spend time with B.a.p while he couldn’t yet tell if they were the right pack for him, they were a good guess… and… in general he just really missed them, he had been so focused on what was going on in BTS and in his own fucked up mental state that he hadn’t really spent any time with his friends.

As the night pulled close he managed to force himself to other food, it was mainly salad still not feeling ready for real takeout or more unhealthy food, but it was a start and he eats all of it, even the small crumpets made out of white bread. It had been such a long time since he had eaten anything having anything to do with white bread.

He thought he had been okay, he hadn’t actually thought he had fallen back into eating disorder territory, but Himchan’s letter had opened his mind to it. Himchan was right, knowing and being aware of the problem weren’t going to fix it alone, and he would have hard and tough days, but he could do this, he wouldn’t let people down who believed in him.

He found that it really helped him to think about it being Himchan instead of him, or Jimin starving themselves. Thinking about how sad he would be if he saw them do what he was doing, it helped him to keep forcing the fork up to his mouth and take bite after bite until everything was gone.

The next part was to not throw the food up after he had finally managed to get it down, that part turned out to actually be harder than he first thought, but a lot of deep breaths and focusing on other people instead of him helped him through it.

The rest of the evening he focused on just his writing, the letter from Himchan had given him a lot of inspiration to finish one of his songs, and when the sun had finally come down he had finished a verse.

‘If I ever meet God, I would tell him this

That life is coffee that I never ordered

I would grab him by the collar and tell him

Death is an americano you can’t refill

Are you sure that you’re alive

Then, let’s prove it somehow

When I exhale, I see my breath  
On the window, there’s condensation’

He took a deep breath and looked over the lyrics. Writing had always helped him when he were feeling things that he couldn’t put into verbal words and again it had helped him. When he had written the rest of the song he had wanted to die, but as he now put on the last hand on the song he… he didn’t want to.

Namjoon now knew that things were going to be okay, he knew that he had people who supported him. Even if he didn’t always feel that he deserved them he had support and everything was going to be okay in the end.

As he stretched trying to unknot his back from where he had unhealthily been leaning over the table, he wasn’t sure that the song was good for his solo on the new album or to be released at all, but he needed to produce it that was sure.

He yawned a little, it wasn’t really that late already, but it had been a long day full of things he hadn’t been ready for. Getting ready to bed took way to longer than he wanted, but he couldn’t stop himself from giggling in the shower as he put his eyes on the sakura flower conditioner, shampoo, and body wash, he had completely forgotten that Junhong had been there as well to give them to him.

He wasn’t even sure if he was meant to use them, or if they were just meant as a joke but as the sweet Sakura flower scent almost matching the baby omega’s scent filled the little bathroom he couldn’t stop himself from feeling happy. It was almost like the younger was there with him, the lead to the thought of what had happened last time he had seen the younger.

Namjoon could feel himself blush, a little worried that that was now going to happen every time he thought of sex of anything sexy. Another reaction was that of his body, he started getting hard when the thoughts of Junhong grinding down on him in the hospital bed filled his mind. At first, he felt guilty, a habit he had picked up before he presented.

Back then he had always felt guilty whenever he got turned on, no matter if it was just from his own thoughts or the smell of Jimin’s heat filling the dorm and the soft mewls of the other omega tightening up Namjoon’s pants.

But now… he didn’t have to be ashamed anymore right? It was okay for him to find Junhong attractive, it was okay for liking the young maknaes tall and fit body, it was okay for him to think back of Junhong’s strong thighs caging in his hips showing him how pleasure was meant to be felt as he guided his body and hands.

Namjoon couldn’t stop the whine from leaving his mouth as he bit down on his lower lip to keep in the sounds, actually, why was he doing that? Nobody else lived here with him, it was okay to make sounds. He let one of his hands glide down his chest teasing his nipple a little on the way down the way he imagined Junhong would do, the younger idol was such a tease and Namjoon imagined him to enjoy taking his time teasing whoever he was with.

He imagined that while Junhong might like to get babied, he also always had some form of control over his partner even if that person was going down on him or anything like that Namjoon was also sure that Junhong would be in control even if he let other people believe they were in control.

He could imagine Junhong towering over him, god the other omega was so stupidly tall that even Namjoon looked short compared to him. He could remember Junhong’s sweet and soft omega smell filling his nostrils and his slick… Namjoon could remember the smell from back in the hospital, it smelled so nice! He really wanted to know if it tasted as good as Mark’s.

Namjoon was no longer focusing on holding his moans back as he was jerking himself of his imagination working on full speed, and then it was all over suddenly as he came over his own hand the warm water washing the evidence down the drain.

Somehow he didn’t feel guilty after at all, he just smiled loopily as he washed the last of the conditioner out of his hair stepping out of the shower to dry himself off. Which was when he found something he hadn’t expected as he went to dry his ass like any normal person, he found something wet that very much weren’t water.

As he touched lightly to feel what is was and pulled his hand back, there were no doubt that it was as he thought… Slick… he had slicked up, it had been very little compared to the normal amount an omega would produce, but it was actual slick! He wasn’t broken! He could slick up himself.

He did pout a little when he thought back on the fact that he hadn’t been able to yet when he had been with Jackson, but the older alpha had been really nice about and not even mentioned it, but Namjoon couldn’t keep himself from being a little sad that he was too late for it.

He dressed in his Ryan pajamas, yawning as he made his way to the bedroom ready to finally catch some zz’s. There were something wrong tho when he went to living room to quickly gather up some stuff he needed for tomorrow, everything suddenly felt way too big and empty.

At first, he hadn’t thought about the fact that he was all alone, but now it all fell over him. He was alone and nothing really smelled of anybody other than him, he couldn’t understand what was wrong, but he kinda just stood frozen in the living room unable to move. He hadn’t felt like this for a very long time, since before he presented he felt lonely and sad.

He had gotten used to having other people around him and now suddenly there weren’t anybody around him and the air was stale his own scent not yet able to fill it up and give it a fresh scent.

Namjoon didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to call anybody and he didn’t know if that would even make it better, he kinda sniffled a little as he made his way to his bedroom. Maybe he just needed to sleep and it would be better tomorrow when the darkness wasn't pressing on him from all sides.

Namjoon never did find out how it was to sleep in a bed with no scent at all, cause as Namjoon moved his yet to be slept in sheets he noticed something under them… A Ryan plushie?

It wasn’t one of his that was sure! Namjoon would have known if it was one of his and he knew for sure that they were all sitting on his shelf looking down on him with soft plushie eyes. This was one of the bigger once, one of them that he knew that he could hug and feel like he was hugging something.

“How have you ended up here?” Namjoon mumbled as he pulled the plushie close to his body with a little frown, where had it even come from? When the plushie was hugged closed to him Namjoon almost got attacked by the scent of candy apples invading his being. Namjoon knew that scent! He had slept right next to it in the hospital! Seungri! That had to be Seungri!

As he stuck his nose into the bear he was sure, that was Seungri the sweet smell of candy countered by the scent of apples perfectly showing off the soft alpha. As Namjoon crawled into his bed with the plushie he could feel how the scent of the plushie had been spread to almost his entire bed for the time that it had spent in Namjoon’s bed.

He fumbled for his phone on his bedstand not removing the plushie from under his nose, it had helped to push away the crushing feeling of loneliness, he sent a quick text to Seungri.

To: Seungri-hyung

Thanks for the plushie Hyung, it was really helpful.

Namjoon didn’t even expect Seungri to answer, while yes Seungri had answered every text he ever sent him, that didn’t change that he couldn’t actually expect the older idol to always him! He was a member of Big Bang for the love of it!

Seungri didn’t answer him, instead, he got a call from the older which Namjoon quickly answered, he wasn’t that tired after all.

“Namjoon! You are back home then? What was in the puzzlebox, please! I am dying! I guessed it was one of those pop-up snakes when you open them they pop up in your face!”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little, Seungri always had the ability to make him feel better, and he told Seungri everything that was in it, deciding not to keep it a secret, which kinda just left Seungri awwing and then swearing “Kim Namjoon! Food is your friend!”

The omega could feel his cheeks flare up embarrassed “I know, I am going to do better know, I hadn’t even noticed I was falling back into the pattern! I promise!” talking about eating left Namjoon to ask a question he had been holding in since he last saw Daesung “Is Daesung-hyung okay?”

“Of course, his heat will start in a few days, but he is doing really well. He hates all of us right now, but later he will understand he always does!” Seungri’s tone were happy, but also fond. Namjoon couldn’t stop smiling a little, it was always sweet how much Big Bang loved each other. He might only have talked with Seungri and Daesung, but it was clear that both males loved their mates so much.

“I don’t understand why his preheat is so long? Jimin’s wasn’t this long!”

Seungri sounded confused “Didn’t they teach you this in basic sub gender classes when you reached 18?”

Oh… Namjoon had forgotten that people had to take classes, it was a government forced classes and he sounded a little sad when he answered “I was classified as a dud… Didn’t have to take them since I am not meant for packs.”

“So… You have had no formal education on sub-gender dynamics?”

“No… I’m sorry,” Namjoon didn’t really know what he was apologizing for, it just felt right to apologize like he had let Seungri down by his lack of knowledge.

Seungri seemed to consider things for a second “Hold on for a second,” Namjoon had to cringe as Seungri yelled out “YOUNGBAE!”

The older vocalists voice was low clearly showing that he was farther away from the phone, “RiRi? What is wrong? You okay?”

“God you panic too much, Namjoon never had sub-gender classes and you banned me from explaining stuff like this because you are unfair!”

“You terrified Jennie!”

Namjoon might never have meet Seungri in real life, but he could hear the pout in his voice “I just told her about hearts! She asked”

“No, you told her about Daesung’s heat, not a pack that has two beta’s and one alpha! You know how bad it is to scare newly presented omega’s! Do not roll your eyes at me, it is important!”

“Yes yes… That is why I called you to explain it to Namjoon, cause… me and Daesung might have done it again.”

Youngbae just sighed, and Namjoon couldn’t keep himself from giggeling a little over just how done he sounded with Seungri’s shit “Give me the phone before you terrify another omega into crying.” the phone got passed from one member to the other, and Youngbae’s voice were a lot softer when he spoke to Namjoon “Namjoon-ah I assume?”

“Taeyang-sunbaenim?”

“Oh god, please don’t call me that Youngbae and call me hyung like you call the rest” Youngbae’s voice were as friendly as his scent, it was weird to think about the fact that he might never have meet Youngbae, but he had slept with his scent at the hospital, and it had helped him when he had felt panicked cause Youngbae had the most calming scent he had ever smelt.

“Youngbae hyung then,”

A lot of half muffled screaming was heard on the other side of the phonecall, and if Namjoon had to take a guess Youngbae just placed himself on top of Seungri and covered his mouth “So what has this one been telling you?”

“I wanted to know if Daesung-hyung was okay?”

“Oh yeah you meet him a few days ago right, this is really about him complaining that we won't let him eat sugar right?” Youngbae laughed a little “It is a biological need and craving for an omega to eat extra while in a preheat, the reason Daesung’s is so long is because his heat is long. Heats can be calculated by how many alpha’s there are which does count soft alpha’s as well, omega’s and beta’s. Beta’s and omega’s make it shorter. Alpha’s makes them longer, Dae has the issue of having 4 alpha’s and the fact that the pack alpha is almost 30 and the pack has yet to produce biological offsprings, his heat is very long. Then there is the thing with snacking.   
This has more to do with Daesung himself, in the start when we were first a pack we let him eat whatever he wanted to during preheat cause we are way to soft and overprotective for him, problem is that he preheat and heat lasts so long that he doesn’t burn it off instantly, and the weight he gained made him borderline depressed since he is still an idol, and he is very sensitive about his looks, or he used to be, it was another time omega’s weren’t given a lot of love back then.  
Then we changed it to we controlled how much sugar he took in, but he couldn’t control his urge to snack, it is very common in omega’s your heat is meant for you to get pregnant, so your body is focused on making sure you get enough food. That is how we ended up just having the rule about no sugar at all, we all know that he is sneaking out to get it, but that way we can keep it down and Daesung is happy after his heat as well.” The way Youngbae explained it, made a lot more sense to Namjoon than all his googling.

“You are really good at explaining it, thank you.”

Youngbae sounded happy with the compliment “Thank you, after we ended up having 4 alpha’s I took a lot of extra classes in sub gender roles and stuff like that, to make sure that we never accidentally hurt a member of our pack. It is kinda sweet that you cared enough about Daesung to ask, I can see why they like you.”

Namjoon felt a little embarrassed about the compliment “I really just did what anybody else would have done,”

Youngbae’s laughter was light and soft, but still had a strength that reminded Namjoon that Youngbae was actually an alpha, much like his scent “If you say so, is there anything else you wanted to know? It can be bad for an omega getting courted to know very little of sub gender dynamics, and please don’t ask Seungri for them. He seems to get a kick out scaring newly presented people, one of our trainees, Jennie she presented as an omega and Seungri then told her all about week long heats and almost dying, idiot.” “HEY!” “Shut up maknae adults are speaking.”

“I’m older than him!”

“Yeah, but he is a leader which gives him 5 years more, which makes him older than you.”

“You are mean! Don’t listen to him Namjoon! I give great advice!”

Namjoon giggled a little but also felt the need to defend his… friend? “Seungri-hyung has been very good to me, he has helped me a lot. Both him and Daesung-hyung.”

“I have one question, is there other things than half heats that I should know about for any sub gender?” Namjoon had tried to google a list of things that he should know about, but he had found nothing and it was in general hard to search terms like that without finding porn.

“Hmmm” Youngbae was silent for a second “There is a few, triggered heats are heats out of your normal scheduled heats. These often come if an omega is stressed or is not getting the attention that they biologically need, these can often be a lot stronger than your normal heats, but they will only happen if you are in a pack.  
Then there are a sympathy heats, mostly those are genetic with a higher or low chance of them triggering. They come from an omega spending time with another omega in heat. Those are not from packs.  
Hmmm, of course, there are the same for ruts as well, but those have a lot lower chance.  
Heat ruts for soft alpha’s and omega’s, those are basically where a soft alpha will show more signs of heats than ruts, and the same for hard omegas.  
You have been told about nonsexual ruts right?”

“Yeah” Namjoon yawned he hadn’t even noticed, but in his sleepy state that Youngbae’s voice and the mountain of information presented to him that he was actually slowly falling asleep, it wasn’t his fault tho! Youngbae’s voice was super calming.

“I think it’s time you go to bed Namjoon-ah, it was nice talking to you, I hope to do it again.”

Namjoon were slowly giving into sleep and he just tired mumbled “you too,” not even hanging up as he fell asleep with his nose buried in his new plushie and Youngbae’s soft laughter in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is keeping up with BTS (Jungkook) Edition  
> And here is a list of planned stuff:
> 
> Hongbin and Doctor Choi discuss Jungkook's  
> Some actually smexxy time with Jungkook, Wonshik, Taekwoon and Hongbin  
> Wonshik and Taekwoon's fight  
> Wonshik and Jungkook gym bonding and Jungkook learning actual sexual desire that are healthy  
> Some behind the scene on the lack of sex BTS is having
> 
> Atleast that is the plan!
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter and todays random bit of knowledge is that it took 4 times for Super Junior to get pregnant, and the person meant to carry was not Heechul but it was an accident


	48. Keeping up with BTS, Jungkook part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this is getting a part 3... GODDANM ME AND MY INABILT TO WRITE SHORT STUFF!

Hongbin was rocking a little uncomfortable in his chair as he waited for Doctor Choi to arrive. Even at this point, he wasn’t sure this was the right choice to make. Sanghyuk had disagreed with him, told him that he shouldn’t do it. That he wasn’t just going behind Jungkook’s back with information that he had trusted only them with, but also behind his own packs since they hadn’t told them.

Sanghyuk understood and agreed with not telling the rest of Vixx about Jungkook’s rape. They knew that even though Jungkook acted up sometimes and fell back into his old behavior. Even if he still got worried whenever one of the omegas would talk shit to Taekwoon, even if he was still having issues. He was a good kid, and all of them had taken a much stronger liking to him than they had expected.

Hongbin himself had known Jungkook of course, but he had never expected to like him as much as he did when he started living with them. He just fit so surprisingly well them, even if he had been shy and worried about what they would all think about him at first. But after a little work and a lot of overwatch Jungkook could sit next to Hongbin and the rest and play around while they played video games.

They had started an ongoing joke where they would spray Jungkook with water every time he acted up. A trick that had actually worked surprisingly well, because one thing they had learned was that… Jungkook was really just an oversized puppy who nobody had taught how to actually be an alpha. Yeah, he knew the basics, but it was like he was living 100 years ago and had outdated views.

Jungkook actually looked like a sad puppy every time they did it to him. Overall they had more or less all gotten a soft spot for the baby alpha. That also meant if any of the hyung lines found out what had actually happened to Jungkook… if they found out what Yoongi did it wouldn’t end well, and there was a good chance that they might never let Jungkook go back there, which was a plan Hongbin was still a fan of.

“You are not Mr. Jeon?” Doctor Choi was standing in the door looking a little confused at Hongbin.

“I apologize for the deception. I am Lee Hongbin I have some questions about Jungkook.”

Doctor Choi’s features softened as she sat down at her table. “I can’t tell you anything that is confidential I hope you understand that, but I am willing to listen.”

Hongbin released a sigh of release, he had been worried that he would have been turned away, but Doctor Choi really was as nice people had said she was. “Jungkook said that his hormone balance was something he was born with, but when I looked it up it said that it could also be triggered by a traumatic incident where your inner alpha feels threatened. Would that be able to be tracked in his blood work?”

Doctor Choi’s brows furrowed for a second. “No we would not be able to track that, but Mr. Jeon said no traumatic incident had happened to trigger it.”

“What about rape? Even if the person doesn’t see it as rape. Nonconsensual forced sex by a pack alpha during a rut?” Hongbin wrung his hand in his lap, still at this moment not sure if he was during the right thing, but he needed to do! This was for Jungkook’s own health.

He had expected more questions, skepticism anything to question his story, but instead, the omega just sighed. “Of course. Yes, that would trigger the heightened hormone levels that we are finding in him. It wouldn’t be able to be traced since it is identical blood work ” She was looking through paperwork that Hongbin was sure was Jungkook’s medical file.

“What can we do to help him? Can we do anything?”

Doctor Choi’s voice was soft, but compassionate same time. “In my professional opinion, I would remove him from the root of the issue, and then slowly get his inner alpha to relax and trust while making him realize the truth.”

Hongbin wasn’t sure if he was happy or worried about the answer. “You want him to leave his pack?”

The doctor’s laughter was light and soft. “Nothing that drastic is a really necessary young man, just remove him for as long as he needs and then let him return and deal with it in a healthy mind.” She looked over Hongbin with calculating eyes.“You are not from his pack, so I assume that it has already happened at least in some form. The most you can do is to slowly teach his inner alpha to relax, that what happened was not normal. Teach him to relax and trust alphas, that he doesn’t need to be over aggressive all the time.”

That made Hongbin a little worried. “We only have on alpha, and he is the closest you get to a soft alpha without actually being one. We might not be able to help him.”

“Actually you might have a much easier time helping him. One alpha means that he can start somewhere easy and he doesn’t have to worry about multiple ones. Just have patience and faith in him, but don’t treat him like a kid, he is an adult who can take  responsibility for himself.”

Hongbin nodded slowly filling everything away in his mind. “Thank you, I know I kinda tricked you to meeting with me, but Jungkook means a lot to us. He doesn’t see it as rape even if he admitted he didn’t want it.”

“No thank you for caring, but next time you need medical help the truth is a lot better idea to get what you want.”

Hongbin just smiled at her. He had a plan now an idea of what to do and how to help Jungkook. He just… might have to not really tell Taekwoon the truth. Time for Jungkook to finally talk with their human cat pack alpha.

Taekwoon had been surprisingly easy to talk into having the chat with Jungkook. Having looked a little sad at his hands like they were ready to betray him at any point, but then nodded at Sanghyuk and Hongbin. “I will do it don’t worry. I understand that it’s important for him to realize that struggling is okay.”

It had been almost 5 days after Jungkook’s breakdown and cry session with the two betas when Taekwoon meet up with Jungkook outside of the BigHit building in disguise of course because the alpha was fairly easy to recognize especially with the half long raven locks. “Taekwoon-hyung? Has something happened, is everybody okay?” Jungkook’s voice was fairly panicked as he stared at Taekwoon. It was the first time that anybody had went to pick him up and with all the shit going down in BTS he was worried that his safe place was now getting pulled into it as well.

“Nono don’t worry nothing is wrong. I just wanted to talk with you before you get home. And no I am not kicking you out.” He looked over Jungkook with a thoughtful look. “Do you have a beanie and facial mask?”

Jungkook nodded showing him the items that he normally used to not get recognized with. “Good, put them on we are going out to my favorite place, my treat.”

That made the younger smile widely. Food sounded like a good choice currently and after both dance practice and the hours he had spent recording for the Japanese release had made him hungry. When they arrived at the place it was not what Jungkook expected. At first, he wanted to complain, but seeing Taekwoon’s soft smile as they sat down at a private booth with cats all around them made Jungkook hold in his comment. Taekwoon was a pack alpha Jungkook had no right to judge him.

At first, wJungkook wanted to at least pretend to be tough, but as a cat rubbed its face into his calf he couldn’t stop himself from picking it up, it was so cute! “You would think that a puppy like you wouldn’t take so easily to cats.”

Jungkook pouted at the older alpha and if he had any it was sure that his puppy ears would be hanging sadly. “I’m not a puppy! I’m an adult!”

“Whatever you say baby alpha,” Taekwoon ordered for both of them from a cute girl with fake cat ears, not even needing to look at the menu clearly showing how many times he had actually been there.

“Old man,” Jungkook mumbled as he petted the cat, its fur was completely white and and it’s face grumpy, “see! It kinda looks like Yoongi!”

Taekwoon wanted to say that the innocent cat was nothing like the BTS pack alpha. He might have slowly started to have a grudge against the short pack alpha, but he also knew better than to voice his opinion. While yes he thought Yoongi was a terrible pack alpha he also knew that his opinion was biased towards Jungkook. He didn’t know the full story only bits of it. “How are you dealing with the anger?”

He meant to ask softly and be polite, but he worried that he might have miss judged his own abilities when Jungkook’s expression tightened up. “I am trying.”

Turned out that Hongbin was right, he should really have put more faith in their oldest beta, of course, he was right. “It is nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody has struggles.” He took a look at the cake placed in front of him trying to calculate the calories before thinking… fuck it I’ll just add on the extra gym session.

Jungkook didn’t even start eating his cake he just stared at his hands holding on to the kitten tightly half hugging it to his chest. “I try so hard, and I take my medicine. It no longer controls me, but I still feel the urge. Why do I still feel the urge?” Jungkook’s voice was unstable and it was clear that it was something that he had been fighting with for a while.

Taekwoon wasn’t always the best at dealing with other people’s feelings and he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t always know what to do with his own pack, and that was something that he had trained and tried with for years. So instead he just followed his instinct putting his hand on top of Jungkook’s that the younger had placed on the table. “It is okay to struggle, a lot of us do. It is about how you act with it.”

Jungkook just scoffed a little. “That’s easy for you to say! You never get angry.” The thing was that it was clearly meant to be bratty, but instead, Jungkook just sounded sad.

The older alpha gave what he hoped was a calming squeeze of Jungkook’s hand. He still remembered how angry and distraught Jungkook had sounded when he first came to them. “I have bad anger issues. It is a joke at this point even between the fans that I am a tsundere. I always had the issues, I even got my hormones checked but there was nothing wrong with them. I just have a short temper.”

The younger looked like he didn’t really believe Taekwoon. “You always seem very calm , like nothing can ever get to you. You put up with everything.”

Taekwoon just laughed a light and sweet laugh. “We all have different triggers. For you since your past it is people not acting like you want them to, for me it’s different. But my point is that it is okay to have the anger, it’s how you act about it. You are too hard on yourself. You need to be able to forgive yourself.”

“No!” Jungkook had at that point let go of Taekwoon’s hand. “I scared Taehyung and hit him! I made my best friend hate me, and alpha ordered my leader. I can’t forgive myself for that!” Jungkook just… he looked his age at that moment, he looked like a 19 year old kid.

“Please sit down, and do eat your cake it is really good and they might get sad if you don’t finish it.” He took another bite of his own cake while an oversized gray cat found a home in his lap. “You want to be better than what you were and make up for what you have done. You need to be able to forgive yourself and move forward. If you still struggle with the anger that is okay, the instinct that forces you to act has now been taken from you. Now you have to prove that without the hormones you can control it. It is okay to feel the anger if you can control it.”

Jungkook’s bunny teeth were digging into his lower lip. “I feel like a monster every time I feel it in me. I remember Taehyung’s terrified look and Jimin’s judgement. Namjoon’s blank look after an order. I’m scared that is all I’m going to be, that I am so fucked up. Why did I listen to Yoongi, it all made sense at the time! He is my alpha!”

Taekwoon kinda wanted to just wrap the young alpha up in a hug and never let him go again. Yeah Jungkook had done some terrible things, but he clearly wasn’t a bad person. “Then repent, get better forgive yourself and then get other people to forgive you. You can’t expect other people to forgive you unless you forgive yourself.”

For the first time since the Taehyung incident… Taekwoon could actually believe in the smile Jungkook sent him, this might still have the chance of a happy ending.

Everything actually went okay for another week until the next crisis arrived in the Vixx+Jungkook household. This time it wasn’t actually to be blamed on the baby alpha who had just arrived tired home from practice and for once let Hakyeon baby him. He was getting his head petted by the oldest omega while he watched Hongbin miss yet another headshot in his quest to get the Window cute spray.

It started as just a mumbled yelling from the other room that Jungkook could easily ignore. He knew that Taekwoon had pulled Wonshik into the spare nest for a talk. At first he hadn’t thought much about it, thought that either they were fucking or had an important conversation, or maybe both.

That was another thing in general he never understood how they were having so much sex, it was not normal! Especifically the betas! Rabbits! Jungkook pushed his head up onto Hakyeon’s hand to try and get him to apply more pressure. “Don’t be greedy.” The older omega teased him, but he also increased the pressure making Jungkook sigh happily as he pushed his face into Hakyeon’s stomach taking in the soft hazelnut scent.

Jungkook in general still struggled with letting the omegas take care of him. It was easier with Hakyeon he kinda reminded him of Seokjin before he presented and it was really nice having somebody take care of him when days were way too long. But he was using the Sanghyuk strategy of denying how much he liked it, while still hoping for more.

Jungkook got ripped out of his hazy mind of soft petting when the voices from the spare nest were raised, and they were very much not having sex. It sounded like… arguing instead? Taekwoon’s voice was raised higher than Jungkook had ever heard it before. “You can’t do it! This is wrong and you know it! You are risking hurting people!”

There were silent for a while, Jungkook almost managed to relax again thinking that somehow Wonshik actually turned out to be adult about it, but of course not when the omega’s voice was raised. “At least I fucking care! Maybe you should try it at some point instead of being an emotionless asshole! I’m sorry that I am willing to take a risk! But I do it because I fucking care, something you wouldn’t even understand!”

Jungkook was uncomfortable and kinda wanted to hide from the arguing. He had formed a strong bond with Wonshik over gym time and with Taekwoon after the kitten cafe, and he was worried about what was going to happen. It was the first time he had ever heard them argue, and he knew what would happen in BTS if anybody spoke to Yoongi like that. Taekwoon was still Wonshik’s alpha and hyung.

He could also feel how Hakyeon’s hand in his hair had stopped and when he turned around in the olders lap to look at the door it got almost violently ripped open as Wonshik stormed out of it. His normally clearing scent actually lived up to it’s scent… Storm… and not in a good way. Hakyeon was looking at Wonshik with a disappointed and judging scowl on his face, and Wonshik just half growled at his fellow omega before he left the room and then the dorm violently closing doors behind him.

Jungkook could feel the fear in him, was this his fault? Had he ruined a perfectly good pack. “Was that my fault?” The baby alpha’s voice was unstable as he sat up no longer feeling he deserved the soft petting of his hair.

“No it wasn’t.” Taekwoon entered the living room now, his normally melanin rich skin was a greyish pale. “It sometimes happen when we crash heads.”

“Shikkie didn’t mean it.” Hongbin commented from the floor he is sitting on. “It isn’t often he really gets angry, but when he does he knows exactly what to say to hurt people. He knows how to go for the throat.”

Hakyeon seemed to understand Jungkook’s reservation as he pulled Jungkook back into his lap. “Don’t worry about it, it has nothing to do with you and they will make up soon anyway. It is normal for packs to fight. We are six people who are always together fights will happen. What is important is that nobody goes to bed angry.”

Hakyeon turned out to be right of course. Even if Jungkook was worried that it would be broken forever he had seen what infighting could do to a pack. But close to midnight Wonshik came home and while the others were already half sleeping it seemed that Taekwoon had waited for the younger as he opened his arms to greet the hard omega. Jungkook could hear their whispered conversation from his spot sandwiched between the two Vixx betas

“I’m sorry.” Wonshik’s voice had an edge to it that Jungkook had never heard before, it was… regret.

Taekwoon’s voice was soft and Jungkook could see him push Wonshik’s face into his scent gland. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it either. I know you would never on purpose try to hurt any of us.”

“You were right though, I was being blind to reality. I will be more careful.” No more words were exchanged between the two older idols and Jungkook managed to fall into a peaceful sleep. He should have trusted Hakyeon… everything would be okay, but it did leave Jungkook to wonder how they could get to that point that arguments wouldn’t break them. Could they as BTS reach that point?

Two weeks after that Jungkook came back to the Vixx dorm with big shocked eyes. Jaehwan was the only person home as he looked weirdly at Jungkook. “Are you okay? Did something happen”

“G Dragon hates me…” He kinda just threw himself down next to the omega.

“I’m sure he doesn’t. What happened? Did you think he sub tweeted about you or something?”

Jungkook just stared into the air. “I met him! He showed up in our lobby wanting to know where Namjoon was! And of course I showed him since you know… G Dragon, and he just looked at me over the edge of sunglasses and said ‘I expected a person who caused so much chaos to be more impressive, hmm’ and then he left! My life is over! I have to leave the country! How can I ever show my face here again?”

Jaehwan couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He knew that it wasn’t the right response but he simply didn’t know what else to do. “Aren’t you being a little dramatic? You said that two of the members were with Namjoon in the hospital? It makes sense that G Dragon know’s Namjoon through them, and has developed a bias of him due to that. Plus he is an alpha, Namjoon is an omega and you are another alpha. Of course he is defensive over Namjoon!”

That was when it suddenly hit Jungkook. “Oh my god all of the packs courting Namjoon they are going to know I ordered him! And Big Bang as well! Kill me!” He flopped himself onto Jaehwan’s lap. That was one thing Jungkook had learned to really like about Vixx. They were all taller than him which means he could flop into them and get pets when he wanted to.

At first his inner alpha had disagreed with his higher brain functions. But lately the inner alpha in him seemed to preen under the attention and maybe he was becoming a little bit of an attention whore, but it wasn’t his fault!

“You are being overly dramatic.” Jaehwan teased him, but he had also started petting Jungkook’s hair which was a lot less dye damaged than his own. Danm himself and how good he looked as a blond. “You know that Namjoon forgave you already. I’m sure everybody else will come around as well.” Jungkook pushed his head up into the hand clearly wanting the older to be a little harder. “You and Sanghyuk are way to similar it is kinda scary… Other than he isn’t short like you,”

“Shut up old man.” Jungkook mumbled, relaxing under the omega’s shoulder taking in his soft fruity scent mixed with sugar. “Thanks for calming me down and not taking me to serious.”

“Don’t worry Jungkook we got your back.” For that moment everything was serene and relaxed. What Jungkook didn’t know was that he was about to have a long in depth conversation with Vixx’s resident sex bunnies about his own sex life… or you know why BTS didn’t actually have a sex life outside of heats and ruts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see Kookies next part is going to be alot about sex and Jungkook’s attitude towards it, and him learning about it. Since… nobody gave him the talk really and as you can see his idea of sex is very… bad
> 
> IMPORTANT!!!!  
> So I am going to let you guys vote if you want Jungkook or Namjoon’s part next, poll is [HERE](https://strawpoll.com/dr5dz7w)
> 
> 10 panda points for whoever can guess what Wonshik and Taekwoon was fighting about
> 
> Also for this week in random knowledge:
> 
> Super Junior used to be one big pack, but after an omega more or less became an alcohol and was abusive while drinking some of them wanted out and they formed their own pack. Another 10 panda points for the person who can guess that omega who did it.


	49. Keeping up with BTS, Jungkook part final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know... I know I'm super late! But I have a reason for it.
> 
> My boyfriend is a exchnage student... who is moving back home in a week and three days, and then I will first see him to December so I have been spending time with him, plus exams...
> 
> Oh yeah and my grandmother is having back surgery, which means I have been forced to move in with them to help her.
> 
> For the rest of the summer my updates are going to be weird I am so sorry, but I promise that I am not abandoning it! It will be written! Please don't hate me... here have a 10k chapter to make up for it!

Everything kinda went normal from there. Jungkook forget about the fight between Wonshik and Taekwoon since everything just seemed fine after it. Nobody mentioned it, the only thing that really changed was for a few days that Wonshik did seem a little bit more affectionate towards Taekwoon, other than that everything went on like normal.

 

It was a pretty normal day, it was a Sunday and all of them for once had a day off. Jungkook, Hongbin, and Sanghyuk were lazing around in the nest all of them more or less had refused to wake up finding 11am a really stupid early moment. Sanghyuk had his arms around Jungkook’s waist cuddling him from behind while Jungkook was slowly nodding off with his head on Hongbin’s shoulder.

 

Unimportant chatter was exchanged between the three youngest idols. Jungkook had to be honest that he wasn’t really listening that much mainly just focusing on how Sanghyuk’s long fingers were playing with his hair. It all kinda reminded him of his time with Taehyung and Jimin before he presented. Moments where it was okay for him to let his hyungs pet him.

 

It was hard to explain really, but he felt so much more free now. While yeah he still had moments where he felt to need to be the ‘alpha’ but most of the time it could be like this, when he was okay with letting his hyungs baby him and pet him, it felt nice.

 

“Kookie?”

 

“Mmmh?” Jungkook didn’t feel the need to really answer more, he was very comfortable and Hongbin’s naked soldier were extremely comfortable. The beta was always a little cooler than Jungkook who was a walking furnace, something that was always welcome.

 

“What was sex like with BTS?”

 

That made Jungkook actually sit up in shock. “What?! You can’t ask that!”

 

Jungkook got instantly pulled down into the maknae cuddle puddle again by Sanghyuk’s strong arm around his waist. “Why not? It is a normal question. You know everything about our sex life, so I thought it was a fair question.”

 

“I don’t actually listen to you guys! I have headphones!” Both Hongbin and Sanghyuk stared almost amazed at Jungkook.

 

That was until Hongbin lost it and just laughed. “What is the point of having the loudest sex possible if you are just going to ignore it!”

 

Jungkook felt ashamed, to be honest he didn’t really know how to react. He didn’t in general know how to react to all the sex there was being had in the house. It wasn’t normal for him, they never really had sex outside of heats and ruts, that was just what Jungkook had gotten used to.

 

“You mean you were trying to get me to notice!?” Jungkook’s cheeks had flared up at this point, feeling uncomfortable in the conversation as he in general felt against anything that was sexual in any kind.

 

The youngest beta just laughed. “Of course! We wanted to see if you wanted to join, it is normal when you are with another pack! We aren’t duds. We have strong sexual urges that is simply how we work. “

 

That was when Hongbin realized that something was wrong. He had sat up in the bed slightly pouty that Jungkook had moved away from him, the baby alpha was always extremely warm a trait that seemed to be alpha specific. “Fuck, Jungkook are you asexual?” He knew that both Taekwoon and Hakyeon had told them not to overwhelm him with sex stuff, to keep it behind close doors and not all over the living room couch or showers… or kitchen or… okay maybe they him and Sanghyuk fucked a little all over the place.

 

Fuck the world and their stereotypes! Betas could have strong sexual urges as well, if anything him and Sanghyuk were the biggest fuck bunnies in the pack, maybe only rivaled by Jaehwan when he felt like it.

 

“Am I… what? No I am healthy Doctor Choi said that! There is nothing wrong with me.”

 

To be honest they should have expected that shouldn’t they? Jungkook didn’t see rape as rape, of course he didn’t know the details of sexual orientation. Even if it was the normal to be sexual attracted to all gender and sub genders, there were a few outliers that found themselves only attracted to only one sub gender or gender. It was extremely rare, but it did happen.

 

Asexuality was a lot more rare, and science had yet to explain it. “Asexual means you have little to no sexual interest at all.”

 

Jungkook just looked confused, like he wasn’t sure what the right answer was. So instead he just looked lost at Hongbin who ended up taking pity on Jungkook as he pulled him down into a cuddle puddle again. “Let’s make it easier. Jaehwan is in preheat right now, when he hugged you this morning how did it make you feel? Did you want to hug him and cuddle him to make sure everything was okay? Or did you for a lack of better words want to breed the shit out of him.”

 

The young alpha could feel his cheeks flare up in embarrassment. He knew what he wanted to answer what the truth was, but he didn’t want to admit it. He kept remembering what Wonshik had told him. Omegas weren’t just omegas they were to be respected. Plus only the pack alpha had the right to be with an omega during their heat.

 

Sanghyuk who had cuddled up behind Jungkook again could feel the younger stiffen in his arms and the way his ears were red telling him that he was actually blushing. “There is no wrong answer to this. It is okay.”

 

The beta’s voice was soft and calming and Jungkook knew he could trust them. He wanted to trust them. They had been so good to him, everybody in Vixx had been so fucking good to him, he could trust them with the truth right? “I… he smelt so good. I tried not to think it about him, because I can’t reduce people to their sub gender! I want to be better I promise!”

 

Hognbin kinda wanted to facepalm. Of course. Of fucking course. Jungkook went from one extreme to another he had been so focused on becoming better that natural things such as to enjoy the smell of pre heat omegas and wanting to sex them up had turned toxic for him. “Kookie, it is normal and healthy. It isn’t reducing people to just their sub genders.” Sanghyuk seemed to have caught up to what Hongbin was trying to do. After all the two more or less had a magic connection when it came to sex stuff.

 

Sanghyuk had sneaked his hands under Jungkook’s shirt feeling up the youngers hard stomach and tracing his muscles with a soft hand. He had expected Jungkook to react or do something about it. Jungkook in general seemed to react very negatively towards anything that would put him in anything that resembled submissive position, but at that moment he seemed to accept it and just relax under Sanghyuk’s hands. “Like you don’t even wanna know what I wanna do to him.” The beta made sure to keep his voice teasing and the open ended for Jungkook to pick it up if he wanted to go down that rabbit hole.

 

Jungkook’s voice was weaker than he would like to admit when he answered. “What do you want to do?” He was hesitant, he knew he shouldn’t ask and that it was wrong. But he wanted to know, he knew that since Sanghyuk wasn’t the pack alpha it wasn’t like he would ever be able to touch.

 

Sanghyuk let his voice drop a little and did his best try at being ‘sexy and seducing’. “Since it’s Jaehwan I would want to put him face down ass up and bury my face in his ass and eat him out until he is screaming. He is the loudest of us all, sometimes I feel like he has a secret life as a camboy or pornstar it’s amazing.”

 

After that it was Hongbin’s turn to pick up the half seducing of the young alpha having taken to pet his upper thigh, because… Jungkook’s thighs were amazing. Normally he would have gone for petting his free bite mark to make the other feel the feelings he had when he got the bite. But the more he got to know about BTS the less he wanted to know about how Jungkook had gotten the bite. Something told him that it was a lot less romantic than his own. “Wonshik in heat is my favorite though. It is the only time he lets us spread him out and take care of him, it’s the time he lets us tell him how beautiful he is. He hates that word normally prefers to be called handsome, but during a heat he is so beautiful and so pretty all spread out leaking like a faucet.” Hongbin was getting a little lost in his own words, he was very weak for Wonshik in heat.

 

Jungkook could feel the heat gathering in his stomach, warmth spreading down between his legs as he thought about the pictures the two betas were painting for him. He almost missed the start of Sanghyuk’s sentence. “Hakyeon’s heat is something completely different. There is nothing more hot than just lying on your back and see him use you like a toy for his pleasure.”

 

Hongbin seemed to have gotten a little too into the talk as well as his moaned out low in throat “I know right? Fuck omega’s and heat are so hot. And their smell, smells are so good.” He decided it was time for the next step, either Jungkook rejected it and they should probably talk more about it. Or they got to show him how nice it felt. He ran his hand down the front of Jungkook’s lose sleep shorts pressing not being able to stop a grin from appearing on his face when he felt how hard Jungkook was.

 

The youngest couldn’t stop a moan from releasing from his mouth. It felt so good, last time he had touched anybody sexually hadn’t been since his last rut, but he could also feel the panic coming up in him. “No you can’t do that!”

 

He remembered the last time he were with a beta, it had been Taehyung and he had hurt him even if he hadn’t meant to. “Why not Kookie? You must do this all the time with your own pack.”

 

“No we don’t.” Hongbin had now started to very softly massage him through it. He was looking at Jungkook’s face intensely even one small sign of it going too far and he would pull away. He wanted to push Jungkook, but not push him too far. He wanted to find out why Jungkook seemed to repress all his sexual energy. BTS was a young pack! That had to be fucking around all the time right?

 

Sanghyuk who didn’t specifically liked being left out had started sucking weak marks into Jungkook’s shoulder. “What do you mean you don’t, this is natural. Unless you don’t want us of course.”

 

Jungkook felt a little overwhelmed… a lot overwhelmed. Hongbin’s soft hands were massaging his erection like there were no tomorrow while Sanghyuk was marking him up. His inner alpha was purring at that last one. He had always liked when Jimin had burrowed his nails into his back during his ruts. “I…” He wanted this. He really did he could feel the desire in him, but since he presented he only had sex outside of ruts once, and that had ended terrible.

 

He simply didn’t see it as natural, nobody else in BTS really fooled around outside of those. “It’s okay tell us what you want.”

 

He wanted it so badly, but he needed to tell them what happened with Taehyung. While he didn’t assume they would go that far, they needed to know what he had accidentally done to a beta. “I hurt Taehyung last time we were together.”

 

“Did he not want it?” Sanghyuk’s voice were crystal clear. While he didn’t want to believe that Jungkook could do anything like that, he also had learned that BTS was a very different pack and what they saw as ‘normal’ was very different than what he was used to.

 

Jungkook shook his head, how could they ever think that. “I would never do that to him!” While Jungkook did regret how he treated Taehyung in general, to caught up in the fact that he was ‘just’ a beta, he would never hurt Taehyung on purpose. Jungkook’s mind kinda blanked after  back with either beta lying with their hand on his shoulders.

 

“If you tell us to stop we will stop, now tell us what happened with Taehyung.” Sanghyuk had taken to sneaking his hand under Jungkook shirt to stroke and appreciate the younger alpha’s abs because they were great. Hongbin on the other hand was still massaging Jungkook’s erection with one hand while petting his inner thighs with the other.

 

Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from spreading his legs a little giving Hongbin better access to his thighs. It felt so good, the last person who had really paid his body this much attention had been Yugyeom before they had presented. Back when sex was good and nice, not something his rut filled mind craved. Not those few times he got with Jimin and the betas while he wasn’t really there completely. He felt a little overwhelmed as well over the fact that… it felt nice having people do things to him instead of the other way around even though he was an alpha.

 

He tried to focus on telling what had happened between him and Taehyung. “It was right after I presented, I am not much younger than Taehyung so we presented close to each other. We… it was after my rut, it was the first time I was with somebody when not in rut that wasn’t Yugyeom, and I hurt him… With my knot.”

 

Hongbin kinda wanted to laugh a little. Of course that was what happened, since nobody seemed to have taught Jungkook anything other than the basic classes everybody took when they presented, and they did not cover sex! Of course while you tried to figure out who could take who’s knot there was going to be a few awkward moments. Taekwoon had once knotted Jaehwan’s mouth something nobody had let him forget after it to this day. “Was there any bleeding?” He instead softly asked, thinking that laughing at Jungkook might not be the easiest way for him to go with their little plan. He was doing so well at the moment.

 

Jungkook just shook his head and moaned out as Sanghyuk flicked one of his nipples. “No, but I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

 

“Were he angry after?” Hongbin had now started to run the had on Jungkook’s thigh slowly up under the edge of his sleep shorts.

 

The alpha shook his head, and he couldn’t stop his hips from jerking up to seek the hand on his crotch. He couldn’t even deny it anymore he really wanted them to touch him, it had been such a long time since he had felt this strong desire in him, but fuck he needed it

 

“No, but I know he tries to never get angry with any of the alphas.” He raised his hips to trace Hongbin’s hand, but every time he lifted them to get more pressure the beta lifted his hand as well.

 

Jungkook would have whined if it wasn’t because it was unalpha of him. Luckily Sanghyuk seemed to understand his fellow maknae as he pulled Jungkook’s shirt up and exposod his torso, sucking a mark into his skin. “You want us right?”

 

“Yes!” God wasn’t it already clear at this point?

 

Hongbin pulled his shorts down a little to show his v-line, but not yet freeing Jungkook’s arching erection. “You know you can say stop if we are going to far, this is important.”

 

“I know!” He refused to beg, he was an alpha he was not going to embarrass himself in front of them! He wasn’t going to do it! Luckily he didn’t have to as Hongbin finally pulled down his short and taking his underwear with it, at the same time as Sanghyuk finally closed his mouth around Jungkook’s nipple sucking on it.

 

The moan Jungkook released were a lot louder than he had planned on and if he hadn’t been so gone in his pleasure given to him from the two betas he would probably be worried about how loud he was being. But at that moment he couldn't even think about it if he wanted to. He was to focused on Hongbin’s cold hand that had now wrapped itself around his erection softly pumping him and his whispering words into his ear. “You gonna show us that knot of yours, gotta be big if you are making betas cry.”

 

“I…” Jungkook was at loss for words, he couldn’t do anything other than just lie there and let them do whatever to his body that they wanted. He was at a loss what to do feeling more or less useless. He was so used to the rut controlling his brain during sex that he wasn’t sure how to go without.

 

Sanghyuk ended up being the one who gave him something to do, as he took the alpha’s mouth in a harsh kiss guiding Jungkook’s free hand to his hair giving the alpha some sense of control back as he pulled Sanghyuk closer having the olders soft lips drown out his moans that he no longer even tried to control.

 

When the blond pulled away from Jungkook looking over at Hongbin who was now sucking a large hickey into Jungkook’s hipbone while jerking him off, his stare was almost a little wild. When he looked back at Jungkook he wanted to take a picture and keep it forever. Jungkook looked good like this, his eyes closed as he was biting into his own lower lip probably trying to keep the sounds in. Sanghyuk couldn’t stop himself from returning his attention to Jungkook’s mouth and stealing the youngers lower lip into his own mouth instead. “You’re close aren’t you? Look at you body taught like a bow, you are going to knot Binnie’s hand aren’t you.”

 

Jungkook didn’t say anything, but he opened his big chocolate brown eyes looking into Sanghyuk’s. Hongbin who was finally happy with the giant hickey he had sucked into Jungkook’s hipbone, he instead taken to watching the picture so prettily put in front of him. Watching Sanghyuk devour Jungkook’s mouth, and the prideful alpha just being there taking it.

 

He could feel the start of Jungkook’s knot forming under his hand as he lightly gave it squeeze while speeding up his jerking movement trying to force Jungkook over the edge. He could see the way Jungkook’s thighs and abs tensed up in a weird way. Something he had learned over time meant that an alpha was focusing on not knotting. Well that wouldn’t do. He guided Sanghyuk’s free hand to Jungkook’s abs not needing to tell him what was going on.

 

Sanghyuk finally released Jungkook’s kiss bruised mouth, even though he knew for sure that he would come back to that later. “You don’t need to hold it in, it’s okay you can let go. Think about how good it’s going to feel. Don’t you want to show us your knot? It’s gotta be big if you are making betas cry with it. Come on show is, be a good puppy and show your hyungs.”

 

Apparently that was enough to push Jungkook over the edge as he came with a loud groan all over his own abs, and he felt how Hongbin tightened his hand over his knot forcing another moan out of Jungkook.

 

Jungkook wasn’t really sure how long time they just laid there. Hongbin kept a soft, but firm pressure on Jungkook’s knot while it slowly went down, knowing that complete removal of the pressure would be painful for Jungkook. Sanghyuk had taken to lying down on his shoulder again taking in his post sex scent, which yes was the same, but that was not the point.

 

It was after a while that Jungkook spoke up. “You guys are never going to stop calling me puppy are you?”

 

Both beta’s smiled “Nope!”

 

Jungkook wasn’t really sure what he expected. Maybe he expected something extreme, maybe he expected to be kicked out for touching the betas even though they had said it was okay. But nothing like that really happened. Nothing extreme happened in general, while it was clear that they all knew what had happened, nobody commented on it. They were a lot more free with their affection the day after he was leaving to attend dance practice when he got pushed up against the wall by a very near heat Jaehwan who then kissed the living shit out of him.

 

The alpha’s eyes were opened wide when he stared at Jaehwan after the omega finally decided to let his mouth go. “Uhm.” God Jaehwan smelled so nice.

 

“Well I heard it was open season on alpha kisses now. So I decided I wanted my share before my heat hits. Sanghyuk is right you are adorably small, it is so few people I can box up against the wall like this.” He looked down at Jungkook’s kiss bruised lips almost like a predator. “After my heat, you and me are going to have some fun.”

 

The thing was that Jungkook had nothing against the idea of having some fun with Jaehwan, but he was an omega, it wasn’t right. “What about Taekwoon?” God he smelled so good, he had to be so close to heat. Fucking hell, his scent of just sugared grapefruit was amazing. Jungkook wanted to bathe in it.

 

“Oh you want a threesome, kinky!”

 

That made Jungkook full on blush. “That wasn’t what I meant! I can’t touch you, you are an omega… Taekwoon is going to be mad!” Jungkook remembered when Yoongi had caught him and Jimin right after his presentation, that wasn’t how you treated omegas! Jungkook wasn’t even part of the pack! He didn’t deserve Jaehwan.

 

Jaehwan… laughed. He straight up laughed at Jungkook resting their foreheads together. “I don’t belong to anybody, but myself. It is my body and I decide what to do with it. Also Taekwoon doesn’t tell me what to do ever! He is our pack alpha yes, but he isn’t our supreme leader that we all listen to. Mainly he is just the only person with a knot that we can sit on, which is nice.”

 

Jungkook didn’t know what to say. He knew that none of them would ever lie to him. Was this how it normally was, was this natural? Easy affection between people “After your heat then.” Not like he ever knew how to say no to Jaehwan.

 

One side effect was that he had started to notice people, and he couldn’t deny it anymore. Before it had been easy to file it under the ‘not okay to look at people like that’ box in his brain, but now he couldn’t do that anymore. He noticed how Taekwoon’s facial structure was amazing and how soft his black hair looked that Jungkook really wanted to touch again. He noticed how Hakyeon’s dark skin was so pretty and how amazingly it contrasted some of the paler members.

 

And then there was Wonshik. The thing was that Wonshik and he still went to the gym together they still did boxing together, which meant he got often and long glimpses of sweaty bare chested Wonshik. Now that everything was much better with them and Vixx seemed to have accepted him more. Wonshik was also chiller with him and more often than not the hard alpha was fun to be around.

 

Fun and really really hot. Jungkook understands now that it was okay for him to look at the omegas finding people attractive was not degrading them. He couldn’t stop himself from noticing how the ink of his tattoos were wrapping around different parts of his body. Which was what distracted Jungkook while the older omega was spotting for him.

 

Luckily it seemed that Wonshik was less distracted by Jungkook than Jungkook was by him since he did manage to grip the weight before Jungkook crushed his chest. “Silly puppy.” That goddamn nickname!

 

After his…. Moment… with Hongbin and Sanghyuk he had gone to apologise to Taehyung. Something which had turned out a lot easier than he expected. Taehyung had explained that he had never been mad at Jungkook and he knew that sometimes it hurts the first time. Jungkook felt like he could finally sigh a breath of relief and he for the first time in forever had leaned down to kiss Taehyung who had looked surprised at him but still smiled at him.

 

Maybe Vixx were right, this could work.

 

The first time Jungkook felt uncomfortable with Vixx was during Jaehwan heat. He had banished himself to the spare nest without anybody needing to say anything. The scent of sugared grapefruit paired with heat turned out to be as amazing as he had imagined. It had taken a lot of explanations for them to make Jungkook understand that heats and ruts were something to be shared and enjoyed between all members of a pack and no heat belonged to just the pack alpha.

 

In the end he had understood and accepted it. Another thing that he wanted to bring back to BTS with him. He understood Yoongi’s past, but something would have to change. That was the reason that when Wonshik with a giant pout on his mouth entered the spare nest Jungkook was confused. “Is something wrong is Jaehwan okay?”

 

Wonshik looked a little confused and then he face palmed himself. “We didn’t tell you. I am an idiot.” He pulled Jungkook close into a hug, the hard omega was normally not the most touchy person. But he was clearly pouty at the moment. “Jaehwan is fine, it is me there is something wrong with. I get really really strong sympathy heats.”

 

The older omega’s voice was kinda whiney, and hugged Jungkook a little closer before he had met Vixx he would have avoided it, but now he just hugged back. “Sympathy heats aren’t bad are they?” He tried to remember what he had learned when he had first presented and taken the classes.

 

“Not normally, but we only have one alpha so it is extremely stressful for Taekwoon. We tried it first when it was just me, Hakyeon and Taekwoon in the pack, it was… it wasn’t good. It’s better that I just stay away. We don’t know if having betas there will make it better, but most people seem to say that it will only make it a little better and I am never putting Taekwoon through that again. It was way way to hard on him.”

 

Jungkook let his head rest against the crook of Wonshik neck. “You miss them already don’t you?” Wonshik smelled nicely.

 

The omega released a high throat whine. “It isn’t my fault! It is in my body the need to take care of omegas I’m a hard omega, it… it’s hard. It is my basic instinct to want to take care of omegas in heat. It is hard knowing that Jaehwan is in heat right now and I can’t even go near it.”

 

Wonshik’s arms tightened around Jungkook still pouting. “Well atleast I am not alone this time, which is a step up from normally.”

 

“Are you normally alone?” Jungkook’s brows furrowed, it didn’t seem like something Vixx in general would do, leave him alone.

 

“By my own choice. I want them to have this time together. I won’t ruin it for them, later after the first wave is over they will start being more on shifts with it.”

 

“Don’t you get lonely?” Wonshik didn’t answer that just shrugged a little, and Jungkook didn’t push him on it he was happy with just lying there. He couldn’t stop himself from rubbing his head a little on Wonshik’s neck. He kinda liked how his own peppermint scent mixed with Wonshik’s unique scent.

 

Wonshik looked down at Jungkook. “You can scent me if you want to.” He could already see the tendencies in Jungkook and it was clear that the younger wanted to.

 

Jungkook looked at Wonshik with almost comically big eyes. “You sure? I don’t want to make Taekwoon mad.” This had to be a pack alpha only thing right? It made sense for pack members to wear their pack alpha’s scent.

 

The redhead couldn’t stop himself from laughing a little. It was a little adorable how Jungkook seemed to think that everything was something only to be done by the pack alpha. It was also a little sad how he seemed to have lacked so much of what everybody else took for granted. He just bared the side of his neck with the scent gland. “Go ahead, but I am marking you after.”

 

Jungkook wanted to question it, but at this point in his stay with Vixx he had learned to not question good things. He trusted them all and Wonshik wouldn’t on purpose try to get him in trouble with Taekwoon.

 

He leaned over Wonshik or he tried until he was suddenly pulled all the way into the omega’s lap so he was straddling him. He was a little confused at first. “Shouldn’t you be the one who is on my lap?” He could feel a blush start at his ears, nobody normally put him on their lap he was way too big for that!

 

“I’m taller than you, now did you want to scent or not?” He sent Jungkook a cheeky smile and Jungkook quickly bowed down to rub his face against Wonshik’s neck. He was not risking the older omega taking back his offer!

 

Wonshik just leaned his head back and let Jungkook do whatever he wanted. Which he did. He started simply just rubbing his scent into Wonshik’s skin leaving the normally stormy scent covered by peppermint next he rubbed their cheeks together. He knew that this was a very innocent form of scenting, normally done by your family pack. The thing was that he didn’t want to press his luck to far and risk accidentally doing something Wonshik wouldn’t want him to. He was respecting omegas!

 

Wonshik seemed to disagree with Jungkook on that part tho as he just sighed. “Are you my family pack trying to make sure I won’t get sad on my first day of school? Jesus christ Jungkook.”

 

Normally it wouldn’t have been so easy, but since Jungkook had relaxed on Wonshik’s lap in favour of rubbing his scent all over him Wonshik easily managed to flip them around in the big bed in the nest. “Do I really have to show you how to actually scent, silly puppy.”

 

And before Jungkook could really actually notice that Wonshik was behind his legs the older had already bowed down licked up the entire side of Jungkook’s neck. “I am going to scent you so good.” and the older lived up to that promise.

 

When Jungkook was scented enough both of the idols were a little scent drunk on each others scent.i

It was first when they were both breathing heavily trying to catch their breath and that was when Jungkook got uncomfortable it wasn’t with the heavy scenting or anything like that. Instead it was with how Jungkook was in a submissive position, with Wonshik between his legs more or less pinning him down. “Uhm can you move, I’m… uncomfortable.”

 

Now it was Wonshik’s turn to have comically large eyes. “Oh shit, did I push it too far? I figured out after with Hongbin and Sanghyuk it was okay. Shit of course I shouldn’t have expected for it to be okay with me. I’m sorry.” He quickly moved off Jungkook, and the younger felt a lot more comfortable.

 

He also felt like he really owed Wonshik an explanation. “That wasn’t it… I just don’t like being put in a submissive position. I am an alpha it isn’t right.” He awkwardly looked away from Wonshik, he couldn’t explain it.

 

Wonshik for his part did seem to understand him as he is slowly always making sure that Jungkook could pull away cuddled up next to him. He didn’t say anything he just let Jungkook speak as he told about first the incident with Taehyung and his knot after that he told about how the next time they tried anything Taehyung had reached for his ass and Jungkook had freaked out. Because if you took it in the ass you were submissive and he couldn’t be that as an alpha.

 

That was the statement that lead Wonshik to have a plan! He just needed some help… and maybe some rope, hmmm… was rope maybe to much? He would have to wait until after Jaehwan’s heat, but Jungkook would learn that whose ass whose dick goes into doesn’t really matter when talking about submission and dominance.

 

While Jungkook had no idea about Wonshik’s plan it was quickly put into action and Hongbin was the person in charge of getting Jungkook to be ‘part’ of it. It all started three days after Jaehwan’s heat had let up. The omega was very… cuddly after the heat. Something that Jungkook had learned to appreciate, he smelt good with everybody other than Wonshik and himself’s scent all over him, it was good.

 

It was a Saturday Hakyeon, Sanghyuk and Jaehwan were all out doing whatever they did when they didn’t work Wonshik and Taekwoon were… somehow in the dorm. Hongbin and Jungkook were taking turns playing overwatch and being terrible backseat gamers. “Hongbin hell! Behind you, all you have to do is get the in airhead shot how hard it is it?”

 

Hongbin pouted as he once again failed at getting the achievement just for Pharah to hit him in the face with a rocket. Both of them had been trying to get the Widowmaker cute spray, but they had both failed leading to Hongbin half throwing the controller across the room. “Nooo! That’s an elite controller! It doesn’t deserve that! Just because you are shit!”

 

That was the last thing Jungkook managed to say before Hongbin jumped him and started to tickle him. Jungkook started laughing crazily trying to stop Hongbin’s hands from tickling his ribs. “Hongbiiiiin noooo.”

 

“Tell me I’m good. I will stop if you tell me I’m good.” Hongbin had now managed to pin both of Jungkook’s hands above his head with one of them, and kept tickling Jungkook with the other.

 

Jungkook couldn’t control his laughing wriggling like a fish trying to get away from Hongbin’s insistent fingers. “I will not lie for you!”

 

“Saaaaay it!” Hongbin was laughing as well now. “Come on puppy tell me I’m good, tell me I’m the best Widow player you know!”

 

“Never! Hongbin you are going to make me pee myself!”

 

“Tell me I’m that best and I stop!”

 

“Goddamn it! You are the best!” He couldn’t stop himself anymore he needed Hongbin to stop before he actually peed himself.

 

Hongbin smiled, but still had Jungkook’s hands pinned above his head. “Good puppy.” Jungkook expected them to go back to playing, but then again he should've known better now and then he took Jungkook’s mouth in a soft kiss.

 

Jungkook returned the kiss as he felt the tip of Hongbin’s tongue swiping over his lips as to try and get them to part but Jungkook didn’t give him that instead he put his own tongue out to engage Hongbin in a weird battle of domination. Jungkook let himself enjoy the kiss for awhile, before he broke it. “Hongbin… I… please let my arms go.” Even if Hongbin was a beta it still wasn’t right for him to be in a position like that.

 

Hongbin was quick to release Jungkook as he sat up still straddling Jungkook. He tried to do a little grind with their hips to see if Jungkook was interested, because if he wasn’t that would put a real stop to their plan for the evening.

 

Luckily Jungkook was a hormonal teen who eagerly grabbed on to Hongbin’s hips. He had started to learn why Hongbin and Sanghyuk were such sex bunnies, it was great! And both were really really hot.

 

Hongbin’s smile was cheeky as he rocked their hips a little more into each other. “You want it?” He teased, he needed a verbal agreement from Jungkook.

 

Jungkook was quick at nodding, raising his upper body to chase another kiss from the beta on his lap. But Hongbin pulled away so Jungkook couldn’t reach him. “You trust me? You trust us?”

 

“Yes.” Jungkook answered without hesitation. He trusted them he knew he did, they knew his limits.

 

Hongbin kissed him again, openmouthed and dirty. “We want to show you something about submission and domination.” Jungkook opened his mouth, he couldn’t let Hongbin dominante him, but Jungkook didn’t get to say anything before Hongbin had put a finger to his lips. “I know, we aren’t going to touch you like that. You are just going to watch Shikkie and Taekwoon, if you want to. If you aren’t ready for it that is okay and you can of course leave.” Originally Hongbin wanted to say it mumbled into Jungkook’s neck while marking up the younger, but he had gotten told by Hakyeon that they needed to do this making sure that Jungkook 100% consented and was sane during the consenting.

 

For a second Jungkook thought about rejecting the offer. He wasn’t even sure what it was they had planned to show him, but he kinda also felt a little hot under the skin from the thought of watching Taekwoon and Wonshik together. Something he had kinda wondered what looked like no matter how inappropriate it seemed and Hongbin had said he could back out if he wanted to.

 

“Okay, I… I trust you guys.” Jungkook almost didn’t manage to finish the sentence before the beta on his lap once again took his mouth in an aggressive kiss.

 

“Thank fuck I was worried that it was too much already. I promise you. You are going to like it, they look hot as fuck.” He had at this point started sucking another hickey into Jungkook neck. “Just give me a second first.”

 

He placed another hickey a little higher than Jungkook’s bite before letting his vampire tendencies go for a second. “Come on then,” he more or less dragged Jungkook by his hand, not even bothering to knock on the door before pulling Jungkook into the nest.

 

What Jungkook saw when he entered the room was much better than he could have dreamed about. Wonshik was sitting on Taekwoon’s lap with the older being spread out on the bed the omega pinning his hands above his head. Both of the older idols were shirtless and Taekwoon’s sleep pants had found their way to the floor as well. Wonshik broke the kiss, sitting up a little still holding down Takewoon’s hands looking over his own shoulder. “Looks like we have company Woonie.” He let Taekwoon’s hands go, but as the pack alpha moved to grab onto the omega’s hips Wonshik just laughed. “You know the rules, no touching.”

 

Jungkook was almost standing like a statue in front of the entrance to the room with big eyes staring at the two older idols, bunny teeth digging into his bottom lip not sure what to say or do. Hongbin ended up placing himself behind Jungkook resting his head on Jungkook should hugging him from behind. “Just watch them, you don’t have to do anything else.”

 

Jungkook was quick to just nod quickly looking at Hongbin who gave him a soft kiss before directing his gaze back on the two men on the bed. Wonshik had somehow managed to get himself naked in the time it took Jungkook to kiss Hongbin and was now straddling Taekwoon in a way that the alpha’s cock was rubbing against his ass.

 

The whine that left Taekwoon mouth was kinda… cute, as he raised his hips seeking the heat of the omega’s ass. “Stop teasing!”

 

Jungkook might not be able to see Wonshik’s facial expression, but he was 90% sure that the omega was smirking as he ran a teasing hand down Taekwoon’s neck petting his pack mark. “Now be nice, you are going to be good aren’t you? Or do I actually need to tie you up?”

 

He wasn’t really sure what he expected when Hongbin said he had something to show him, but this wasn’t it. This was 10 times better than he expected, in the position he could see how a little bit of Wonshik slick was running down the man's thighs leaving a wet trail behind. He could see how Taekwoon’s erection was rubbing the tip against the omega’s wet entrace. How his thighs shook as he tried to control his want to chase the tight heat.

 

Jungkook was getting turned on. There was no way around it. How could he not? Wonshik’s thunder scent was mixing with Taekwoon’s mocha scent perfectly as it filled the room. Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from leaning back into Hongbin having the beta’s slightly colder body ground him was nice. Well it was until Hongbin ran his hand from Jungkook's hips to cup him through his jeans with a light hand easily feeling the younger’s erection.

 

The alpha couldn’t stop himself from leaning his head back and closing his eyes as a soundless moan left his open lips. Well Hongbin couldn’t really have that. “Keep looking at them, look at how desperate Woonie is. Look at how his thighs are clenching trying to stop himself from thrusting up into him. Look at how the tip, no the tip of the tip is resting just at Wonshik’s entrance. All he has to do is thrust up and he would finally feel him tight and warm around him, but he is not going to do that. Because he knows Wonshik is going to punish him, he is going to be a good little alpha.”

 

He followed Hongbin’s orders as he kept his eyes open. Biting down into his bottom lip as Hongbin easily popped open the button of his jeans, which Jungkook were grateful for since the pressure was starting to get a little bit much. Jungkook felt like his senses was getting overwhelmed as Hongbin soft hands finally found their way into Jungkook’s pants and touched his overheated skin. Wonshik finally sank all the way down on Taekwoon’s erection taking him all in one go like a champ.

 

Taekwoon’s moan was a loud and slightly whiney version of Wonshik’s names. Jungkook could see how his knuckles were turning white as he was holding onto the pillow above his head trying to control his want and need to grab onto the omega in his lap. Hongbin’s voice was so low that the two idols on the bed had no way to hear it, but it was whispered right into Jungkook’s ear making sure he did. “Shikkie is the one who is taking it, and look how well he is taking it, but does that mean that Taekwoon is the one in control?”

 

Jungkook couldn’t do anything else than just shake his head. He hadn’t even thought about that, and now that he did that changed most things he thought about as dominant and submissive. He always just saw the person who was getting fucked as submissive as somebody who just laid there and took it. It wasn’t like that.

 

Wonshik had now started riding Taekwoon in a brutally slow pace that was clearly stressing out Taekwoon who seemed like he just wanted Wonshik to fucking get on with it. To match it Hongbin had started jerking Jungkook off in an equally slow pace.

 

He kinda felt like he was in Taekwoon’s place now. He felt like he was the one getting teased and controlled and for once his inner alpha wasn’t fighting against the light submission he was giving out. He just stood there leaning against Hongbin and tried to keep the noises trying to leave him at the lowest volume he could all consumed by the picture the two older idols were giving him.

 

Jungkook couldn’t hear what Wonshik was whispering to Taekwoon which kinda only made it hotter. Especially when he heard what Taekwoon said in return. His voice was raised in a clear way telling that this was for them and not for Wonshik “Please.”

 

“Please what?” Wonshik’s voice was teasing and he had now stopped completely with only the tip of the alpha’s erection inside him.

 

“Please let me knot. Please fucking hell Wonshik! Please! I need to cum!” Jungkook felt the same need as Taekwoon that was sure. Especially since Hongbin seemed eager to match everything Wonshik did as he had stopped as well instead just softly nipping at Jungkook’s bite free side of his neck.

 

Jungkook couldn’t explain why he found it hot that Taekwoon was asking permission to knot Wonshik. How his arm muscles were strained from trying to not grab onto Wonshik and force the younger to just take his cock. It was so hot hearing the begging from a man that was often not filled with so many words beg, to something.

 

He didn’t think less of Taekwoon though. He didn’t respect him less as an alpha or as anything. He just found it really really hot. He had slowly learned over time that sex isn’t day to day life. What happens during sex doesn’t translate into reality. Like when he saw Sanghyuk spank the living shit out of Hongbin’s ass that didn’t mean that Sanghyuk actually thought he was a dirty boy. Or that he actually needed to apologise for being pretty.

 

“Good boy.” Jungkook heard Wonshik voice say through the haze in his mind, before he finally started to ride Taekwoon hard and fast. Hongbin of course following suit with speeding up his hands movements.

 

From his position behind them he could see how Taekwoon’s knot was starting to expand, but still small enough that it would leave Wonshik’s body with every upwards thrust. Jungkook couldn’t hold back a moan as he saw the knot slowly expanding until it was enough to no longer be able to leave the hold that was Wonshik’s ass. Then three words seem to undo both Jungkook and Taekwoon at the same time. “Cum for me,” and that both alphas did very obediently.

 

Jungkook came so hard that he kinda lost focus for a while. He wasn’t even sure how he ended up in the bed being spooned from behind. He opened his eyes and looked right into the grin of Wonshik on his face, and how Taekwoon was hiding his face in the omega’s neck. “Ignore Woonie, he gets shy after knotting since it is still inside me.”

 

“Shut up.” Taekwoon’s voice was low and mumbly, and Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from smiling when he felt Hongbin kiss his neck with a soft whisper. “Good puppy”

 

After that Jungkook could feel the change in himself, he slowly got more accepting of everything. He learned the difference between dominance and submission, he learned that he still weren’t into people playing with his ass, but he was very much into having his hands bound above his head while somebody used his body as their play toy. He learned that he liked when they called him puppy right when he was about to come, he liked that he learned when they took time to appreciate his body that he worked so hard on.

 

It didn’t mean that he didn’t still have times where he could feel the alpha inside him act up, where he could feel the years of subtle training into become something he wasn’t. But Vixx were good at accepting him no matter what, nobody was ever angry with him or anything when he mid smexxy time backed out, when he wasn’t okay, when he needed it to stop. Everybody were in general so good at him.

 

And Jungkook flourished, he did better at dance and at vocal. He started easily nailing the lines recorded for the Japanese comeback, and he was getting better at treating his members right, and he found that he wasn’t actually jaloux as what any of them were doing, he was just happy that they were taking care of.

 

He could see changes in people in his pack, that made him so happy and proud. The first was Jimin, he saw the omega with a hickey on his neck and instead of being shy and embarrassed about it, he told proudly that the one he placed on Baekhyun was better! Jungkook thought that he would be angry or anything like that, but he knew now that it was just natural and he was so happy that Jimin had realized this as well… And Jungkook might have put a hickey next to Baekhyun’s. The other change he saw in Jimin made him almost squal in happiness.

 

It had been a habit for Jungkook to see Jimin weigh himself after a dance practice, it was his always present body image issues, but after training one day in mid Febuary the BTS omega didn’t step on the weight, instead just getting dressed rushing to pack up his stuff. When Jungkook questioned where the fire was Jimin just smiled a big smile and said that Kyungsoo was making cookies and he promised Jimin he could lick the spoon if he got to it first. Yeah… Jungkook felt like they might owe Exo a fruit basket, or probably more, cause that happy glow Jimin was sporting was something Jungkook had missed so much.

 

The next person to change was Taehyung, he just… he was just so happy and so himself, it was amazing. He was the person who took to Jungkook’s new softer and more touchy side easier, but then again Taehyung was the only one of them with a healthy sexual thought process. While yes BTS in general hadn’t touched him much, but he had always had Seventeen, and they seem to do him really well. Taehyung no longer looked sadly and slightly jaloux on Jimin wanting to be his sub gender, instead he seemed to flourish in his own sub gender.

 

He even told all of them what had actually happened to his family and why he had freaked out about the water, he explained why he wanted to be an omega so much. Jungkook had just always thought it was about wanting to be an omega cause they needed another one. Now it all made sense and he made sure to always pay more attention to the beta’s in general after that.

 

Then it was the second beta of BTS who changed, and Seokjin without a doubt had the biggest change, he was back to being the happy dad joke telling smiling beta that they hadn’t seen outside of the times they were on camera’s. Jungkook had no idea what TVXQ had done for Seokjin, but his hyung seemed to do well with finally being the youngest in a group.

 

It was so nice seeing Seokjin finally look comfortable in his own skin, Jungkook actually smiled when he saw Seokjin lightly blushing as they found Yunho waiting for him after a practice. Seokjin just seemed so much happier and like Taehyung he looked like he finally found peace in his sub gender.

 

They had treated their beta’s terrible hadn’t they? And they hadn’t even thought about it. Jungkook had after that done his best to treat everybody better, to take what he learned from Vixx and transfering to his own pack.

 

But there were nobody with as big a change in themselves as Hoseok, Jungkook didn’t know who Hoseok was actually with he was still going to group theraphy, but when they saw him the changes weren’t big at first. It was first after Hoseok’s rut that the changes were clear. Jungkook had gotten so used to seeing the self inflicted wounds after a rut, but that time there were none, instead Hoseok had a dopey smile when he came in after the rut and a wound free body.

 

The other change was that he no longer seemed… ashamed of the scars he already had, during a specially warm practice he even shed his shirts leaving the scars on his hipbone and back open for show, and not once did he try to cover up. Jungkook had already heard the rumour of Beast splitting up, but he decided not to ask Hoseok about it, the older alpha just looked so happy finally accepting himself… It was nice.

 

Namjoon of course had big changes as well, Jungkook had to get used to how many people suddenly wanted a piece of their leader. His time with Got7 was the easiest to deal with, B.a.p was okay as well… Block B was where Jungkook started to be worried, he hadn’t really thought about it, but there was a real chance that Namjoon wouldn’t pick them.

 

The thing was that Block B knew Namjoon, they knew him better than everybody else, they knew him better than BTS knew them. Monsta x somehow just made it worse. Other packs had an already strong connection to Namjoon and his past, Monsta x offered him a fresh start, they offered him somebody who weren’t connected to all of this mess. Somebody who had more nuanced sub genders and could understand if he didn’t feel completely like an omega.

 

It took a lot of conversation with Vixx for him to be okay and more calm about it, Jungkook had always known that Namjoon was being courted by other packs. It just never really hit him that hard before, it took for Hakyeon to sit him down and talk about how it was okay for people not to be in the same pack as they were in group with.

 

It took for them to explain that Namjoon hadn’t given up on them yet, that he was still giving them a chance by letting them court him when they went to Japan. Also explaining to him that even if Namjoon didn’t pick them it didn’t stop him from being their leader, that he stopped being their Namjoon, it was going to be okay.

 

Other than that Jungkook’s time with Vixx went very well and he was happy, there were only one time that he thought every thing was about to go to shit. It had been one of the few times that he ended up coming home first, he was practicing his Japenese when the front door got slammed open “Shut up Jaehwan I don’t care! You always speak before thinking and never think about our feelings!”

 

“Please! I didn’t mean it I promise! Hakyeon you have to believe me, I never meant to hurt you I were just trying to be funny!” Jaehwan sounded close to tears as he followed after the Vixx leader, not that Hakyeon looked much better it was clear that the oldest omega had been crying as well.

 

Jungkook had seen fights between Vixx members before, it was normally petty fights that was instantly solved, but this already seemed different “Oh so making fun of my skin color is a joke now?” Hakyeon’s voice was cold and just ended up forcing more tears onto Jaehwan’s cheeks.

 

It didn’t take long time for Jungkook to understand what was actually going on, he had learned that Jaehwan often spoke without thinking about the consequences and Hakyeon was very sensitive to comments about his skin color, which Jungkook was never going to understand mainly because he thought that olders skin color were gorgeous and he loved having his paler hand on the older's abdomen just see the color difference, it was so different and hot.

 

Hakyeon almost violently smacked the door behind him close behind him forcing Jaehwan to look cryingly at the door before sinking down to his knees infront of it “Please listen to me, just open the door. I didn’t mean it! You know I didn’t mean it!”

 

“Oh so it just comes from nowhere, it was something you had never thought about before! Things like that don’t come from nowhere!” it was now clear that Hakyeon was crying as well, and he seemed less angry now… just more sad.

 

Jungkook normally never got involved in fights like this, but nobody else was home and his inner omega was struggling because it was two crying omega, he needed to do something, he saw down next to Jaehwan on the floor pulling the older into a hug, “hyung?” he called it outloud for Hakyeon to hear it as well.

 

Hakyeon sniffed a little from the other side of the door “It isn’t important Kookie, you really don’t need to worry.” it was so typical Hakyeon, but he wasn’t getting Jungkook of the case.

 

“Tell me what happened, you were the one that told me that caring about other people is important. And I care about you guys.” Jungkook tried to reason, he wasn’t the best at dealing with stuff like this, but they had all helped and given him so much it was about time that he gave a little bit back.

 

It wasn’t Hakyeon that answered but Jaehwan instead who was still hugging Jungkook close “We were doing some recording for some stuff and I accidentally made a joke about his skin color, I didn’t mean it! I were just trying to make a joke! Everybody expect me to be funny all the time, and I didn’t want to disappoint starlights.”

 

“So you made me the butt of a cruel joke instead!” Hakyeon’s voice were shaky now “Things like that doesn’t come out of nowhere!”

 

That was when Jungkook understood what was actually the problem here, it wasn’t that Jaehwan had made the joke it was that Hakyeon actually thought he meant it, that he didn’t love Hakyeon’s amazing tan, Jungkook was a little hesitant before he spoke up “Don’t you still have Jaehwan’s hickey on your shoulder. Why would he want to mark up your skin if he didn’t love it?”

 

Hakyeon didn’t answer so Jungkook just continued hoping he was on the right path “You know Jaehwan doesn’t always think before he speaks, you know that everybody including both me and Jaehwan loves your skin color, it is so fucking beautiful and it makes you unique and special. Special to all of us, please don’t be mad at Jaehwan because he said something stupid… You know we all love you,”

 

Again no answer from the nest that Hakyeon was hiding in, but they could hear the lock click as it got unlocked and the door opened with Hakyeon standing in the doorframe with teary eyes opening up his arms only to be quickly embraced by both of the other idols.

 

“I’m sorry,” it was mumbled by both omega’s and Jungkook smiled softly, everything was going to be okay, and Jungkook felt happy, he had finally found a time that his inner alpha were usefull, maybe he shouldn’t hate it… maybe it was going to be okay.

 

What Jungkook didn’t know was that this and his long talks with Hongbin about his rape had lead to him finally accepting himself, he knew what happened to him was wrong, he knew that he deserved better, and that he could be better, and it was the last time for a very long time that his inner alpha would act up, but what Jungkook didn’t know was that it was going to come back with vengeance, cause Jungkook would need to be strong and need to stand up for somebody who couldn’t stand up for themselves.

 

As March 10th hit and it was time for Jungkook to leave Vixx, to be honest he didn’t feel ready or happy about. Of course he was happy about going back to his pack, but he also felt like he was leaving his safety. Cause yeah that was what Jungkook had started to see Vixx as, it was safety away from his normal life. It was safety that had thaught him what being an alpha really was, it was a family away from his family.

 

Jungkook knew that in the start he had started living there because he was desperate, now he was almost desperate not to leave, the entire dorm was weirdly silent as Jungkook gathered his stuff. In the over two months he lived there he hadn’t really noticed how much of his stuff had gotten mixed up with everybody else's stuff, to be honest he was at least 60% sure that the scarf he was wearing wasn’t his, but the in his defense… It smelled really nice.

 

As Jungkook and Vixx stood in the hallway Jungkook’s stuff packed and his manager ready to take him to the airport where he would meet the rest of BTS and for the first time since Namjoon’s presentation… meet Yoongi again. Jungkook knew that he would meet his pack as a new alpha, a better alpha, but he wasn’t ready to leave behind his new… home.

 

And to be honest Vixx weren’t much better, none of them were really ready to say goodbye to Jungkook Wonshik specifically who had gotten a very strong bond with the baby alpha was hanging around in the background pouting like something was not going his way.

 

It was Taekwoon who surprisingly spoke up “He is not dying, he is going to Japan not to prison, he can come and visit us and we can visit him, just like other friends are doing. You guys are so dramatic.”

 

Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from laughing, and he did something he had never expected himself to do when he first joined Vixx he jumped attack the taller alpha in a hug “Don’t you worry, I am coming right back to annoy you guys again, you are stuck with me! Just you know… with less of me sleeping on top of you guys, which you might all be happy about!” Jungkook could feel himself tearing up in the goodbye, but he forced himself to smile big at them. This might be a goodbye for now, but it was a start of something new of something great… Bts better be ready for Jungkook, cause he was ready to fight for them he thought with a grin as he rubbed his neck, he got this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I said... I'm sorry, but I decided I wanted to give you guys something else!
> 
> A teaser for the climax of the story! HERE IT IS:
> 
> "Please don't hurt me! Please stop!"  
> "Fuck, lie still!"  
> "Don't hurt me!"  
> "Fuck! I order you to lie still!"
> 
> ________________________________
> 
> For a little details about the the last hint, it is indeed Kangin who was the alcoholic omega, and yes Suju M is part of it and so is Kibum and other people who left.
> 
> I hope you don't hate me for being late :(


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few important notes:
> 
> I am not ending the story... A shocking amount of you thought that... The climax is many story arcs away this is currently the story arcs:
> 
> Namjoon's time with b.a.p --> Hoseok's time with Beast --> Namjoon's heat --> Taehyung's time with Seventeen --> Namjoon's time with Block B --> Jimin's Time with Exo --> Namjoon with Monsta x --> Seokjin with DBSK --> Namjoon with Bts -- > Climax -- > Namjoon chooses a pack --> Epilogue --> Lu Han returns.
> 
> That is what is going to happen in which order currently in the story!

Namjoon wasn’t really sure what he expected as he arrived at B.a.p’s dorm, he was just happy to be there to be honest. He hadn’t actually thought about how much he had actually missed his friends. With him slowly losing his mind to his suppressed gender it had been hard enough to go on just functioning as a human being let alone actually keep his friendship’s up.

 

Also… He had kinda always been a little bit jaloux of how well B.a.p had worked, nobody would ever question that they had gone through hell and back as an idol group, but even when it was worst they had stuck it out and waited for Junhong to reach 18 and present before they did anything. He always found it kinda romantic.

 

He felt a little awkward as he knocked on the door only hesitating for a second, he still had a hard time accepting that they wanted him. That he was wanted by people, he always worried that he was asserting himself into places he had no place being in in the first place.

 

That thought was quickly dispelled as the door was slammed open and Himchan stared at him, he was worried for a second that it was going to repeat his first meeting with Got7 as an omega and he would end up on the ground with an overly happy idol ontop of him, but of course it didn’t there was a certain difference between Himchan and BamBam instead the beta ended up with hands on each side of Namjoon’s face pulling him closer inspecting it.

 

Namjoon realized in that moment that Himchan hadn’t seen him since… well he wasn’t in sure. Since forever was what it felt like, but specially since his presentation. This was the first time he was seeing him as an omega, he wasn’t really sure what he expected, but it wasn’t getting pulled into a delicate and gentle hug.

 

It was like Himchan could feel how weak he still was caused by everything that had gone on, cause he handled Namjoon like he could break any second “I were so worried about you, Junhong said that you seemed right in the hospital, but I know how quickly stuff like that can change, and you are still so skinny.”

 

Namjoon thought back on the letter that Himchan had left him, on the puzzle box now hidden in the bag that he took with him everywhere, and he hugged the older beta close “Thank you, thank you so much. I can’t even explain, it just… it was what I needed, I didn’t even notice I were getting bad again.”

 

Himchan’s arms around him tightened a little, but not enough to hurt, just enough to show that he was still there “It’s okay, we are here to help you. It’s okay to have bad times.”

 

Namjoon felt a second set of arms joining Himchan’s around him “Hey sweetcheeks, long time no see.” Yongguk’s voice was deep as he spoke from behind Namjoon right into his ear “I were expecting the pizza guy, but this is better. Also not that I am complaining, hugs is great, but it January and both of you are slowly turning into ice cubes.”

 

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from laughing a little, to be honest he wasn’t really cold wrapped up with the beta in front of him and the furnace like alpha behind him “long time no see Bang,” yeah Namjoon was happy to see them again.

 

The warm welcomes didn’t stop as he managed to enter the dorm, the oversized maknae almost did a BamBam before Jongup managed to grap him around the middle “No we don’t jump people,” the young alpha sent Namjoon a soft smile. 

 

Jongup were without a doubt the person that Namjoon knew the least, it wasn’t cause they didn’t see eye to eye or anything like that, it was more the fact that both of them could be fairly shy and Namjoon even back then had a hard time with alpha’s he didn’t know, but he looked forward to getting to know Jongup.

 

As Yongguk put an arm around Namjoon like he had done so many times before he instantly felt the familiar fear of the alpha’s deep scent of white cherry’s, Yongguk for his case instantly noticed something was wrong as he removed his hand “Joonie?” he questioned confused.

 

Namjoon looked at the ground with an almost angry facial expression, the thing was that he wasn’t angry with them more with himself, the thought that he was over this after his and Jackson’s night together, but it seemed that his issues with alpha’s was deeper than he wanted to admit “I’m sorry,” he stared annoyed at his hands not wanting to look up at the B.a.p members “I struggle with alpha’s for some reason, it isn’t you… It’s me, my inner omega seem to have some trust issues.”

 

Everything was silent for a moment until Youngjae spoke up “It’s okay, we can’t all control how we feel at points,” he gave a pointed look to Junhong and the two younger seemed to have a conversation without the need of words.

 

Namjoon knew that something was up, but he also knew that he shouldn’t question it for now. Everybody was allowed to have their secrets, Yongguk slowly nodded, “it’s okay, we can make it work. Was it still like that with Jackson and Jaebum after a while?”

 

Namjoon shook his head “It gets better after a while, it is just…” he didn’t want to tell what had happened to him, but he had this weird feeling in his stomach that they already knew. Over all he was pretty sure that everybody who wanted to court him knew all of what had happened and he wasn’t sure if it was something positive or negative.

 

Himchan smiled to him and he intertwined their fingers “we can work with that,” his smile were soft and nice to Namjoon “Let’s be honest a little distrust of alpha’s is natural after what you have been through,”

 

“Can I have omega hugs as well if I promise not to jump him?” Junhong whined still with Jongup’s arm around his waist which did look a little weird since he was so much taller than the alpha.

 

Daehyun’s laugh was nice and sweet as he joined them in the hallway “I heard something about omega hugs?”

 

And as Junhong was released and Namjoon was hugged closed by the two omega’s he couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little as well, he felt nice and warm between the two omega’s, even if it was super weird how much taller than him Junhong was.

 

Namjoons stuff was left in the hallway when food finally arrived, it was the first time Namjoon had anything like pizza and it was a lot harder to get down than he expected, but he managed to with a little help from Himchan.

 

The mood in the group were nice and warm, chatter was mainly just small talk with good nature, it was still weird for Namjoon how easily he fit into B.a.p just like he had done with Got7, and how he had fit before his presentation, no that was a lie, he fit even better now, there wasn’t the uncertainty of what his spot in any conversation was based on his lack of sub gender.

 

Namjoon was sitting in the living room talking with Yongguk about the new comeback they were preparing for with ‘carnival’ the songs weren’t completely done, but after picking up a win on Music Bank the year before with ‘young, wild & free’ they actually believed that they would be able to salvage their carer after hitting bottom during their lawsuit.

 

He had expected to sleep in the main nest with everybody else like he had done, but that plan turned out to be wrong as Junhong grapped Namjoon by the arm as he went to grap his stuff “Maknae-line sleep over in the sparenest!” oh yeah, Namjoon easily forgot that he was actually younger than everybody other than Jongup and Junhong.

 

Namjoon expected somebody to speak up about the idea or for it to turn out to be a joke, but both Himchan and Yongguk had an awkward facial expression, before they nodded and Namjoon felt like there was something he didn’t know, but he choose to go along with it he trusted that there was a reason for the craziness going on currently.

 

He got help from the two youngest with settling his stuff in the main nest, before he got his sleep stuff and moved to the spare nest, as he went to brush his teeth it was almost like he had gotten a weird growth on his back as Junhong settled against him like a leech “You used my shampoo!” the omega happily chatted as he buried his nose in Namjoon’s hair “Your scent is much stronger than in the hospital, you smell really nice specially with my scent mixed with it.” he nuzzled the older omega’s scent gland a little.

 

It didn’t last long before Junhong was once again pulled away by Jongup “God, we can’t leave you with omega’s alone before you try to jump them.”

 

Junhong whined being hold back by the much shorter alpha “I weren’t doing anything! I just wanted to smell him!” the omega were trying his best puppydog eyes to be let go, but Jongup seemed more or less immune to it as he hold back Junhong with one arm and awkwardly ran a hand through his blond hair with the other as he send Namjoon a shy smile.

 

“I am sorry about him, not just now, but about the hospital as well, we baby him to much and let him get away with being extra all the time so he acts like this sometimes.” Jongup smiles were contagious and Namjoon couldn’t stop from giggling a little.

 

“It’s okay,” he smiled as he opened his arms for Junhong to hug him instead, and only a few seconds later he had an oversized maknae in his arms proving Namjoon’s theory that Jongup really only had the youngest caught as long time as he wanted to be caught.

 

Jongup laughed as well “you say that now, but that one seem to want to kidnap omega’s I think he might have a thing for omega’s,”

 

“Says the guy who gets off to me and Daehyun making out,” Jongup’s face flared up hot red, probably having expected Junhong to actually speak bad,

 

The giant maknae just laughed into Namjoon’s neck as Jongup stammered out “You said we shouldn’t talk about that!”

 

The chatter kept going on between the two youngest while Namjoon just stood there letting himself be hugged and petted by Junhong, Namjoon wasn’t sure how long time they stood there while he were just focusing on the youngest soft sakura scent, it was Youngjae who ended up interrupting them “Are we sleeping in the bathroom now?”

 

Jongup quickly saw it as he chance to escape from the biggering he was losing “Nope nope, nest now.”

 

Junhong tho didn’t let it go that easily as he easily slapped Jongup’s ass he he walked past “whatever you say alpha,”

 

That left just Jongup and Namjoon in the bathroom, Jongup standing blushingly with a pout “He is so extra,” Namjoon looked at Jongup with soft eyes.

 

“He is isn’t he?” he stepped a little closer to Jongup, he found that his inner omega trusted him a lot easier than older and more dominant, but Jongup who were a lot more shy and soft was much easier to trust even if he wasn’t a soft alpha, “I know we don’t know each other as well as I know everybody else, but I hope you are okay with this and I am looking forward to getting to know you more.”

 

Jongup smiled at him “If I weren’t okay with it you wouldn’t be here, this wasn’t just a decision we took out of nowhere, we sat down and talked about it, and I might not know you as well as everybody else knows you, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get there does it?” Namjoon just shook his head, and alpha asked a little hesitant with half open arms “hug okay?”

 

Namjoon didn’t even answer he just hugged the short alpha close taking in the youngers soft scent of bergamot, yeah that kinda fit him didn’t it? When Namjoon let himself be lead away from the bathroom to join the rest of the youngest B.a.p members in the spare nest, and when he got there what he had feared was turned to be true as Youngjae and Junhong was sitting cross legged on the bed clearly waiting for a conversation.

 

“Why do I have a feeling about why we are here to start with,” it was like the room cooled multiple deegree’s and nobody said anything while Namjoon and Jongup got on the bed and it seemed like everybody was gathering themselves and Namjoon started worrying about what he was about to be told.

 

Youngjae ended up being the one who spoke up “we all, all being everybody who is courting you, agreed that we would be honest with you. Honest meaning that we would never hide stuff from you. The thing is that it is no longer you just visiting a pack, you are testing out if you want to join us and we need to show you everything, which is even the bad parts, everybody has struggles.”

 

“I don’t understand?” Namjoon knew about their lawsuit, he knew about everything like that, what more was there to tell him?

 

Junhong’s head hung and it was the first time in a long long time Namjoon had see him be that sad looking “I am the struggle, I am the problem.”

 

Jongup was now petting the younger omega’s thigh as he pulled him into a hug, he clearly didn’t want to talk about it and his voice was filled with shame, something in Namjoon gave him an uncontrollable need to sooth his fellow omega, okay maybe that was just him being a leader “You don’t have to tell me, you can wait it is okay, you know I won’t judge you.” 

 

Junhong just laughed a hollow laugh “the reason why nobody questioned your inner omega not trusting alpha’s is cause mine doesn’t trust Himchan and Yongguk,”

 

That… That was not what he expected, he just sat there and stared at Junhong for a while. Jongup was holding the younger omega in a protective hug, which would have looked funny because of their size if it hadn’t been for the mood in the room, Namjoonb wasn’t sure what to say, he wasn’t sure how to make this better “what happened?” He couldn’t believe that Himchan or Yongguk would ever do something to hurt Junhong, they all cared way to much about him.

 

The giant omega sniffed a little “you know how after I presented we filed the lawsuit, but I didn’t get the bite for another 3 months?”

 

Namjoon nodded not sure where this was going “yeah, but isn’t it normal to wait with the bite? To make sure that you are actually ready for it,” he knew that Junhong wanted the bite early, but he also understood why Yongguk had refused to give it to him, that waiting period was so important.

 

Another sniff from the omega “turns out that my body and inner omega didn’t need that period, my inner omega saw it as being rejected, that I weren’t wanted. I still struggle with keeping the bite on as my body keeps slowly rejecting it,” tears were now flowing down Junhong’s face and Namjoon wasn’t sure what to do anymore “just to make it worse I can’t be alone with either of them and have physical contact at the same time! It is so stupid! I love them I really do! But my body wont let me! My inner omega is against me, I know why they did it, I know they love me!”

 

Jongup were the one who decided to do his best to stop it as he pulled Junhong’s head down to push it into his scent gland trying to calm down the younger “shh shh, it’s okay nobody blames you, you know we aren’t mad at you, we all know that you love us and we love you.”

 

That just made the tears fall quicker, and whatever he said was lost in tears, Namjoon didn’t know what to do he needed to do something. He had to do something, he crawled closer to Junhong softly petting the youngers bleached locks “Jongup is right, I might not be part of the pack, but I know that nobody would ever blame it on you.”

 

“How are you so sure?” the words were slightly slurred by both the tears and with his head being hidden in Jongup’s neck. Youngjae had joined now, sitting next to Jongup not saying anything as he lightly petted the crying omega’s side.

 

“Cause they love you, if I know them right they are probably blaming themselves, but I also know that you guys have talked it over by now if you are telling me. I know that sometimes it is easy to get caught up in your own mind and you forget reality, you know that they love you.”

 

Junhong’s smile was sad as he raised his head from Jongup’s shoulder “I’m sorry for crying, it just gets a little much sometimes. I had to get the bite again right before you arrived, I always pray that this is going to be the one that sticks, but it never is.”

 

All Namjoon could do was fiercely hug both Junhong and Jongup, none of them deserved this shit. As all 4 young idols sad and fiercly hugged each other Namjoon thought that this was it, really this was nothing he could work with this. The thing he didn’t know and most of B.a.p didn’t know was that something was about to blow up in their face… God Yongguk did nobody ever tell you not to bottle everything up on the inside? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a little end notes, I published a side story called '13 reason why SM is the devil' and it is just a shit ton of teasers for what SM has done to people, it involves all groups from SM... yes girlgroups as well, please read it if you want to <3
> 
> Should we have us self a little teaser?
> 
> In the climax... somebody you don't expect it... is going to try and commit suicide and be saved by something you expect even less


	51. you know I'm totally for you, when there's haters in the way, they can't stop this love, we got soo much baby

Namjoon had logically thought that he would just sleep through the night, but as the clock hit 2am he woke up unable to go back to sleep. He didn’t know what it was, it was like something was missing.

He couldn’t explain why, but he wanted to go and join the rest of B.a.p in the other nest. But as he felt Junhong’s arm around his waist as he was spooned by the younger omega he couldn’t get himself to do it. He didn’t want Junhong to feel like he didn’t want him, like he wasn’t wanted.

But it seemed like Namjoon wasn’t the only person haunted by sleeplessness. “You want to go and join the other ones?” Junhong’s voice was soft and low as to not wake up the rest as he lightly petted Namjoon’s stomach from where his hands were hiding under Namjoon’s shirt.

Namjoon could already feel the guilt. “It isn’t like that I swear it’s just...” Again he was at a loss for words not sure how to explain what he was feeling.

Luckily it seemed that Junhong understood him better. “Since you got out of the hospital you have either slept with Jackson, or one of the scented plushies by an alpha. You have gotten used to alpha’s scent around you while sleeping. It is normal that you get used to something and then struggle when you aren’t provided that.” He softly nuzzled his face into the back of Namjoon’s neck.

He wasn’t really completely comfortable with the conversation, still feeling very awkward about the whole Big Bang thing. Even if both Daesung and Seungri had texted him a goodnight, yeah it was better if he didn’t think to much about it. It might slowly hurt his brain. “Why are you awake?”

Junhong sighed a little hugging Namjoon closer. “Same as you.”

“You don’t feel uncomfortable around them?” Namjoon still wasn’t completely sure how Junhong worked and he didn’t want to accidentally offend the maknae.

The younger shook his head. “No, it’s only if I am alone with them especially during sex, and my heat is a no go for both of them. Other than that, trying to get my inner omega used to them and accepting them. Trying to get it to understand that they are not rejecting me.” That made Namjoon understood a lot more. He knew how it was with your inner omega thinking something different that your mind. “I have been sleeping with Himchan majority of the time, because he lets me be the big spoon… Gukkie not so much.” Namjoon could hear a light laugh in the younger voice and Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little with the thought of a pouting Yongguk being the small spoon.

“I was the little spoon to Jackson’s big, with Got7.” Namjoon had said it without thinking, not really thinking about the fact that B.a.p might not want to hear anything about Got7.

Luckily there seemed to be no bad feelings between the two groups, or hopefully any group courting Namjoon as Junhong giggled as well. “But he is so tiny!”

Namjoon covered his mouth trying to keep the giggling down. “I know right. He got annoyed when he couldn’t reach my mouth for a kiss.”

“Awww so adorable. If it wasn’t because he was built like a rock he would make such a cute omega.” Both of them tried to control their giggling over the thought of omega Jackson. Something that seemed foreign to both of them.

When they finally stifled their giggling Namjoon intertwined his fingers with Junhong’s resting on his stomach. “How are you? It must be hard with the mark.”

He knew that a lot of people saw their pack bite as one of the most important things. He knew that rejecting a mark was not something uncommon. Even Jungkook’s body had done it at first and Seungri had told him that his body had rejected it as well. But normally it was fixed by just one more bite, it was normally a sign that the inner omega/alpha/beta wasn’t sure if they really wanted it. Or if they were ready maybe they just wanted to make sure that the pack really wanted them.

“I… I could be doing better.” He gave Namjoon’s hand a light squeeze and Namjoon wasn’t really sure which one of them he was trying to calm down. Maybe both of them. “The hardest part is having the pack bond in my mind and slowly feel it glide away from me. Before I take the bite again it is like reaching for something just out of your reach. I want to feel them in my mind, but I slowly lose their present. That is the worst part without a doubt.”

Namjoon wanted to turn around and hug to younger omega close to him, pet him and coo over him tell him he was beautiful and amazing. But he also knew that Junhong wasn’t done yet and he might lose his momentum if Namjoon turned to look at him. As expected with just a soft pet by Namjoon’s thumb he keeps going. “We thought at first that it would be better if I was with them during my first heat that would make my inner omega accept them and make it see that I wasn’t being rejected. But it ended up so badly… I hurt both of them.” Namjoon could feel the silent tears touching his neck. He wanted so badly to make him feel better, but he knew that Junhong needed to get this out. “It was all good in the start. Omega’s while we can go on without a knot it is painful, there is a reason why knotting toys are so popular.”

Another pause before he started again with his story still in a whispering tone as they both stared at the alpha and beta curled up together. The two other idols were wrapped in a complicated cuddle ball that made it hard to see which limb belonged to which person. “It started fine, I was soothed by their presence and they helped me stay focused. I was a little scared and it was my first heat. It is always hard the first time as you feel  the heat take over your mind. You don’t know how to fight it or to find peace in it. Gukkie and Himchan were really good with it. Daehyun was there as well to make sure I had an omega to lean on, to help me through it, they were all so nice and we thought it was going well. And then when he knotted me, I couldn’t control it I panicked the knot was already inside me and I started thrashing around I was hurting both me and Gukkie, but I couldn’t understand it.” Namjoon had a sick feeling where this was going, and the tears dripping down the back of his neck was back. “He had to order me to calm down, which was after then I rejected the bite in the first place.”

Namjoon kinda wanted to say that Junhong’s strong hold on him was squeezing the life out of him, but he didn’t want to stop him. “In the start my omega only seemed to struggle being near them like with you, but after that my body just rejected the bite. It’s so stupid! If it hadn’t panicked in the first place Yongguk would never have had to order me! He didn’t do it to be mean or to try and control me, he just wanted me to not hurt him and me. He was taking care of me!”

Yeah Namjoon couldn’t stop himself anymore as he turned around in Junhong’s arms and hugged the crying omega close. “It’s not your fault, it’s okay. This is not your fault and nobody blames you,”

“But they should! They were happy before I had to join the pack, all I had to do was have a little patience. But no apparently all the time I spent with them before I was an omega meant that I had already picked them and not getting the bite meant that they were rejecting me. Which it didn’t mean that! They just wanted me to be sure.” The crying intensified, but somehow he still managed to stay silent while doing it to not wake up everybody else.

“Were they really? Was Daehyun happy with no other omega? Do you think Jongup would be happy without the person he says he the closest with not being here? You think any one of them would be happy without you here, they love you so much and you love them. You just have to keep fighting for it, I know it is hard. I know better than anybody how it feels when your inner omega doesn’t agree with your brain. But if I have to accept that it isn’t my fault… so do you.” Namjoon at this point was pretty sure that he was just rambling. It was a bad habit he had when he wasn’t sure what the correct answer was. “I know it’s hard for all of you, but what if you stop trying? Stop trying to force your inner omega to do what you want. I know you aren’t physically doing it, but you are doing it mentally.”

Junhong sniffed a little. “Can we go and join the others? I want Daehyun.” Junhong could have said that he wanted a giant horse made out of marshmallows and Namjoon would probably have done everything in his power to give it to the omega. Luckily his request was a lot easier than that, especially since that was what Namjoon wanted as well. So he climbed out of the bed trying to make as quietly as he can and move the bed as little as possible. He reaches out his hand out for Junhong to take leading him to the nest.

While he had never slept with B.a.p like he had Got7. Mainly because most of his stays ended up with both him and Yongguk crashing in the studio before Himchan came and gathered them in the morning. He still knew where it was without any issues that he even in the dark was able to lead the still sniffing Junhong to the main nest.

He would feel bad about leaving the youngest beta and alpha alone, but he had seen them wrapped up in each other like this many times before that he was sure none of them really minded. What was surprising was that when he opened the door to the main nest prepared to sneak in, the light was still on and the three oldest members of B.a.p were lightly chatting still.

Everybody froze when the door opened looking confused at the two omegas. “Everything okay? What happened?” Yongguk instantly asked, the pack alpha worried about his omega and his hopefully soon to be omega.

Namjoon wasn’t sure what to say. He hadn’t prepared himself for them to be awake so he kinda just awkwardly froze. Junhong took over instead as he let go of Namjoon’s hand and pushed him a little to the side before giving his best pouty soft look at Daehyun. “Hugs please?”

The oldest omega didn’t seem to surprised as he just opened his arms for Junhong. “Come here baby.” Something he didn’t need to say twice before he was suddenly jumped by the tall and tired maknae.

That left only Namjoon to be standing awkwardly in the the door not sure what to do. He wasn’t like Junhong he couldn’t just ask for hugs. That would be weird luckily Junhong other than being the original golden maknae was also part timing as an actual angel as he spoke up for Namjoon. “Joonie has gotten used to alphas while sleeping, even when he has been alone he slept with the scented dolls and since majority of Big Bang are alphas… yeah you get my point.”

Himchan was a little bit more hesitant. “What about Jongup?”

The youngest omega just yawned a little as Daehyun pulled him close in his arm. “They are doing that octopus thing. You didn’t want me to leave Joonie alone right?” He was nuzzling his face into Daehyun’s neck soaking in all of the sweet omega scent.

Yongguk’s face relaxed as he reached for Namjoon. “Of course.” Guiding Namjoon into his arms, it took a few minutes for the pack alpha to arrange their limbs as he wanted. In the end it was the normal way of Namjoon being spooned behind which he found to be a favorite of his. Before the maknae line had presented and hated his rotten scent, he had cuddled with them but due to his size and age he was always the big spoon something he found that he did not enjoy very much.

Himchan ended up lying in front of them like Namjoon used to with Got7. “Can I join in the puddle as well?” Namjoon surrounded by Yongguk’s soft scent of white cherries and he made grabby hands towards the beta while blinking to keep his eyes open. He hadn’t even noticed he tired he actually were.

The older beta just giggled a little before cuddling up to Namjoon. Yeah Namjoon liked this it was just how he gotten used to sleeping, being the middle of two warm bodies with calming and nice scents were amazing. “Sleep Joonie.” Namjoon was sure more was said after that as he just yawned and managed to fall asleep easily not having noticed just how tired he were, yeah sleep was nice.

When Namjoon woke up the next morning at the alarm he couldn’t stop himself from giggling. Himchan was drooling over his scent gland in his sleep and it was feeling very weird, but also kinda cute and sweet. Yongguk was no longer present, but that was to be expected the pack alpha worked himself way to hard and had probably already left for the studio. As if on cue when Namjoon woke up so did Himchan who cutely sat up running a hand through his messed up bleached locks. “I hate alarms, can we just give up being idols and sleep all day?” His voice was groggy with sleep and slightly whiny. He clearly wasn’t a morning person.

Namjoon had gotten used to being ripped out of bed none to gently after being moved out of the BTS nest that he had learned to just wake up. Even if this was much nicer. “Sadly that isn’t an option. When do you guys have schedule today?”

The beta yawned before he threw himself down face first into the pillow. “We have different schedules today. I have vocal practice later with the other vocalists, and then I have another meeting with a dietist and then to workout.”

Namjoon remembered the later Himchan left him when he said dietist and he got a worried look on his face. “You don’t need to lose more weight.”

Luckily Himchan was quick at correcting himself. “Nonono that is not what it is about. It’s about me wanting to build up a little more muscle mass, but doing it healthily. After the lawsuit the company has been a lot better at actually listening to us and what we want to do. Mainly because I think they are shit scared of losing us, but it works out.”

Namjoon’s entire body relaxed as he flopped down next to him nuzzling his face into Himchan’s scent gland unable to stop himself from the need to rub his still weak scent into Himchan. The beta for this seemed to preen under Namjoon’s attention as he giggled. “When do you have schedule today?”

The younger yawned a little. He had been up so late and it was still so early. “Dance practice in 3 hours and then I am working on Jungkook’s single for the new album.”

“Oh solo’s? Just for the baby’s or for everybody?” That made Namjoon have a slightly dopey smile on his face.

“All of us.” He was so proud of BTS in general, they might have so many issues, but Namjoon had faith that they would end up fixing them. When they came back from Japan and November they all got to show all armies their own personal songs.

Himchan smiled softly as Namjoon rolled them around a little so he was now the one nuzzling and scenting Namjoon mixing the scent of peach and cream with his own scent of honeysuckle .“Why are you writing the baby’s song then?” He tried to stay neutral, he knew that he didn’t know the full story. But what Got7 and other people had told him left him with a bad taste in his mouth. After all Jungkook was just a pup no older than Junhong.

Namjoon giggled a little. “He wants to thank all of his hyungs and he doesn’t know how to put it into words.”

Himchan knew that he should stop it now or he might end up hurting Namjoon’s feelings. Just because he had forgiven everybody who wronged him didn’t mean that Himchan had. “Have you finished your own track? Can I hear it?” He loved seeing the songwriters and producers in their element it was always amazing.

The omega shook his head reflection was such a personal and sad song and he wasn’t ready to show anybody yet. Well at least other than Slowrabbit, and without his knowledge, Yoongi.

It took the two idols another 20 minutes in bed just softly talking and scenting each other, before Daehyun came to drag them out of their bed clearly not impressed by how the two’s food was getting cold.

Being with B.a.p was different than being with Got7. Not better or worse just different. Got7 most of the time was always in one big group doing stuff. B.a.p could much easier get away with doing stuff by themselves. Having Yongguk and Junhong in the studio and everybody else at various practices, it was different.

As he got ready to leave, eager to start his own day in the studio since he finally had some inspiration, Himchan leaned up to place a kiss on his forehead sending the younger a smile. “Remember to eat. I know it is hard when you are working, but try to.”

Namjoon smiled, he knew he would struggle without having people there to eat with him. It seemed much harder to force down the food, but he nodded softly he wanted to try at least. He wanted Himchan to be proud of him.

As he hiked up the backpack on his shoulder, opened the door to exit Himchan called after him the last second. “Joonie?” Causing the younger to turn around with a confused look on his face.

“Yes?” Had he forgotten something?

Instead Himchan just smiled. “You look beautiful sweetcheeks.” Namjoon blinked like a confused child before the compliment really sank in, causing his tanned cheeks to flare up in a blush, unsure of how to answer the compliment.

“Not as beautiful as you.” As he noticed how cheesy he sounded he quickly ran away from the door, almost falling over his own feet on the way to the driver there to pick him up.

When he finally arrived at his studio his blush had managed to fade a little, but he could still feel where Himchan had kissed his forehead. God when had he become such a softie, oh who was he kidding he had always been a softie.

At that he sat down to work, losing himself to the rhythm of work until he reach that frustrated point of working where something wasn’t clicking. Where something was wrong. No matter how much he replayed the track he couldn’t find out what it was that weren’t right.

That was until the sharp scent of chili mixed with strong alpha overwhelmed his nostrils from behind as a cheeky voice said from the doorframe. “You need him to rerecord the vocals. They are to breathy, his vocal cords aren’t connected completely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter! 
> 
> The random information for today is that 2PM and 2AM are one big giant happy pack, cause we need that!
> 
> Also any guesses on the alpha? Friendly or unfriendly?


	52. I hope you’ll be happy, I couldn’t even say those common lies, I’m only praying that you’ll come back, I’m sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry about the late chapter, the reason I delayed it is that I didn’t feel right publishing it with what has gone down with TOP,

Namjoon stared with open mouth at the alpha in the room. God he was dreaming wasn’t he? Or maybe it was an hallucination, this couldn’t be real right? “G Dragon-sunbaenim?”

Yup in front him wearing a ripped pair of skinny jeans, a flashy top and backwards cap over his softly dyed pink hair was G Dragon. The G Dragon, leader of Big Bang. Oh fucking God it was G Dragon.

Jiyong was dressed like… like he was G Dragon. It was clear that the older idol was not trying to hide that he was here, this wasn’’t Kwon Jiyong he was talking to. This was G Dragon. Namjoon had talked to Daesung and Seungri every day without any break since he had gotten out of the hospital, he had talked with and liked Youngbae. Tis just felt so much different. Also Jiyong’s facial expression wasn’t nice friendly and open like when he had met Daesung.

Jyong pointed toward the laptop. “Get him to rerecord the vocals. You can’t make a good track without good vocals.”

Although it was G Dragon, Namjoon still felt that he needed to defend Jungkook even if Jiyong was right and now that he thought about it the vocal were a little breathy. “He is trying his best,”

The older just raised an eyebrow. “Feisty and protective over his group. I’m surprised if anybody had fucked me over as hard as they had, they might be six feet under and nobody would ever find their body. Then again you know, wouldn’t happen.”

Jiyong moved further into the room moving closer to the omega. “So here is my question. What is your deal? What do you want with my pack members?” The older alpha moved like a panther moving even closer to Namjoon, who was up off his chair stumbling back from the alpha. Jiyong’s heavy chili scent was waving over him overwhelming his own still weak scent.

“Nothing, I uhm…” Namjoon could feel the fear building up inside him. This was the first time an alpha had been aggressive towards him. “I promise nothing!”

And just like magic the older rapper’s eyes peeled almost comically large as he seemed to understand what was happening and he stepped multiple steps behind. “To far, that was too far?” His facial expression was awkward.

Namjoon could still feel the fear taking over him as the alpha’s scent was still heavy in the air. Jiyong awkwardly looked at Namjoon. “I’m just gonna air out for a second and then you know, stand over here if you don’t mind.” Pointing towards the farthest away from Namjoon, quickly opening up the window.

“I should have expected that. Dae did warn me that you had issues with alphas I promise I never wanted to hurt you! I even get Youngbae to take the spiders outside, where I think he might kill them, but it is the thought that count. Please stop looking scared at me, “

As the room slowly aired out, being cleared of Jiyongs scent as more of the cold January wind moved throughout the room he could slowly feel the fear move it self from his room. “I’m sorry I can’t control it.”

Jiyong stood awkwardly as far away from Namjoon as physically possible. “That was my fault, people say I get over protective over my pack. Which that is probably correct, and you have been spending a lot of time with Daesung and Seungri. Add to that that Youngbae now says as well that you are a nice person. So I wanted to find out what was up with you. I didn’t want to actually scare you just find out if you had evil plans about my pack, now I’m pretty sure you don’t. I just terrified a newly presented omega something tells me that I might be sleeping on the couch… Please don’t tell Daesung.” The older alpha suddenly looked more like a kicked puppy than big scary G Dragon.

Namjoon wasn’t sure what to say, he had never thought about the fact that he could ever do something bad to the two youngest members of Big Bang. He had just mostly been surprised that they would even look at him and he hesitantly answered. “I don’t want to do anything to them… They…” For somebody who normally had it easy with words, Namjoon did struggle with it when it came to G Dragon… The G Dragon. “They have been nice to me even when they didn’t need to be. I am very thankful”

“Please stop looking at me like a kicked puppy. I already feel bad enough for making you panic.” it was weird how different Jiyong was from the picture Namjoon had of him in his head. Both Daesung and Seungri had said that their group leader was a lot less… G Dragon… most of the times, a lot more spoiled alpha used to getting it his way unable to take advice unless it is physically knocked into him. “They really like you.” He seemed to catch on to how what he had said could be understood. “Like a friend of course. I don’t think Daesung planned on getting so attached to you as he did. He just wanted to make sure that you were okay, but then he took to you. At first we thought it was just him making another omega friend, even if a little younger. But both him and Seungri seem to genuinely like you as a person, and it made me worried. I simply wanted to make sure that you weren’t… deceiving.”

Namjoon nodded slowly he understood the older alpha’s concern. If it had been his group and pack it happened to with an even more rookie group he would also hesitate, and they weren’t bloody BigBang. “It is okay G Dragon-sunbaenim.”

Jiyong laughed a soft laugh that Namjoon found very pleasant. It fit the shorter skinny alpha a lot more than the aggression he saw in him earlier. “Please don’t call me that. You text with both Daesung and RiRi every day, the least you can do is call my Jiyong-hyung. Jiyong-sunbaenim can work as well if you think it is too much.”

In Namjoon’s defense it was… insane, G Dragon had just told him to call him Jiyong hyung! “Thank you!”

“Oh god you are adorable, please stop. I am trying to be cool.” The alpha at that point sat down on the couch. “Oh this is important I think. I met your baby alpha and I might have scared him a little. I will for your fault pretend to be sorry about that.”

Jiyong was something else that was for sure Namjoon thought. He now understood what Seungri had meant with Jiyong being special. “What happened to Jungkook.” No matter what had happened between him and Jungkook he was still Jungkook’s leader and it was still his job to protect Jungkook.

“Well Dae and Seunghyun told us what happened and Seungri told us that you have forgave him for it. We all come from a time where there were very very few male omegas in the entertainment industry. So we might be a little bit overprotective when it comes to omegas. And google told me that Jungkook seems to really look up to me, and you know what they say… Never meet your heroes, so I just politely pointed out that he was really not very impressive and he caused a lot of shit.”

Namjoon sighed heavily while yes he was very flattered that the older alpha seemed to care any way about him and he understood why people wanted him to not forgive BTS. But it simply wasn’t who he was. It wasn’t like they ever really meant to hurt him, they just didn’t know better. Jiyong might as well has buried Jungkook alive. “He really looks up to you hyung. You are one of his biggest idols.”

The older alpha just grinned. “Well now he got a lesson from one of his biggest idols, don’t fuck with omegas. Still to this day they can be rare in certain groups. Don’t confuse being the leader of BTS with babying them. Sometimes letting them stand on their own legs and realize the shit they have done is a better option.” Jiyong got up and looked at the laptop Namjoon was working on. “I would get him to record the vocals again, don’t let him get away with not reaching his full potential just because he is the maknae. He might hate you while doing it but in the end he will thank you for it.”

Namjoon understood Jiyong’s point he had talked multiple times with the two youngest members of Big Bang about how the older groups saw omegas especially male omegas and what Jiyong said made sense. But he did wish that the older had been a little bit more careful with Jungkook. He wished that everybody would be a lot nicer to Jungkook about it. He wished that people saw it like he did. That Jungkook really wasn’t that bad.

“He is a good kid. I just want him to be happy.” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from pouting a little as he looked at Jiyong who was still looking at the laptop.

It took awhile before the older spoke up and when he did there was a weird tone in his voice. “I know better than anybody how easy it is the baby the maknae or just the youngest in general. We feel as leaders that we should protect them and make sure that they are okay. But that is not our job, that is their pack leaders job. While I do know that some pack leaders are also group leader, but for us it isn’t like that. We are just group leaders, it is not our job to make sure that they are happy and secure. It is our job to make sure that they reach their full potential. It is our job to push them, even if it means recording the same lines for hours upon hours to get that perfect take. If it means we have to be the evil person for a while we do it because we are leaders and we want what is best for our group.” He looked at Namjoon the look in his eyes soft. “Believe me I wanted to baby the living hell out of both Daesung and Seungri in the start but it wouldn’t have done any of us any good. Instead during recording I am the evil boogeyman, because if I go easy on them I’m I really doing them a favor? Two things can happen, if it manages to get approved the fans get to hear a subpar product, and we both knows fans or anti’s aren’t going to silently accept that. The other option is that it get pulled by somebody in the company. Is it really better for them to hear it from somebody other than you that what they did wasn’t good enough?”

Jiyong, of course, had a point, he never thought about it that way. He had always kinda acted like he was the pack alpha half time. “You are right, thank you Jiyong-sunbaenim. I never thought about it that way. I might have been a little too easy on people since I presented as an omega, I… I still struggle with what it is okay for me to do.”

To that the alpha laughed. “Everything is okay for you to do. Dae once knocked me in the ground during a gym session plus him and Youngbae wrestle all the time. His sub gender doesn’t matter, you think they would dare disagree with me in my studio if I was an omega?” Namjoon quickly shook his head, Jiyong could have been an omega and nobody would have dared fuck with him.

Jiyong smiled at him now. Namjoon wasn’t sure what he expected, Jiyong on the stage was always impressive aggressive and… G Dragon. But the Jiyong in front of him now, was more complicated than that. This was one of the problems looking up to people you never really knew how they were in reality. You only really knew the image they showed to in public this was different, and somehow more impressive.

But Jiyong wasn’t finished with his little speech. “I have a question. How are you?” Namjoon opened his mouth to do his normal ‘okay’ speech, but Jiyong was quick to correct him before he even started speaking. “I mean with the omega rapper thing. I know it can’t be easy.”

It was the first time Namjoon had actually gotten asked that. Majority of his friends were idols first rappers later or they were not omegas nobody since the hospital had even questioned it. Namjoon thought back on the messages left on his phone from old friends, or people he thought were friends. He wanted to lie, but as he looked into Jiyong’s eyes the dark brown orbs were kind. The same kind of kind that he got when he meet with Daesung like he wouldn’t judge him and like it would be wrong to lie to him because he didn’t need to. So in the end he didn’t. “It is… hard, not as hard as I expected for Jiho, uhm Zico, we were friends back in the underground and he has been supportive and helping getting the others to accept me. There are still a few people who are being closed minded, but it is going better.” Namjoon looked away from Jiyong feeling way to awkward looking into the older man's eyes. “But it’s going much better than I expected.”

“We are a close minded group sometimes aren’t we? Rappers? We judge everybody who started rapping as an idol. Can you imagine if it was the same for singers that no singers were respected unless they started singing before they became an idol?” The alpha shrugged and Namjoon did kinda have to agree with him. “But it’s good that you are getting through it. A good piece of advice I can give you is to say ‘fuck you’ to friends who decides to give you shit. There are some people who are never going to accept you as an idol. People who think they are to good to the mainstream. Fuck them, they aren’t worth your time. I know it feels like you have something to prove to them, but you owe them nothing.

The passion between Jiyong’s words left Namjoon to believe that the older probably had his fair number of people who turned their back on him. Something he wouldn’t have believed if people just told him he were freaking G Dragon! But then again, Jiyong was just a person wasn’t he?

Namjoon hadn’t even known that it was something he needed to hear, and hearing it from Jiyong somebody he respected more than he could even explain was a lot better than anything he had ever expected. “Thank you Jiyong-sunbaenim,”

Jiyong’s face turned into a mildly childish pout at his sentence. “I feel like I might not deserve it after scaring you. I also owe you a thank you as well.” Jiyong’s posture was a lot easier now, and it casual. “For Daesung, he always craves omega’s presence during his preheat. Normally he will spend time with Jessica or Heechul, but Jessica is busy with her fashion stuff and Heechul is being busy doing whatever the hell pregnant people do. He was a lot more calm after spending some time with you. It means a lot to all of us.”

To be honest Namjoon hadn’t actually thought about it. He hadn’t even thought about the fact that Daesung had sought physical contact with him. He couldn’t stop the light blush in his cheeks he never before had an omega seek contact with him like that. Jimin would never do it since he hated Namjoon’s scent before his presentation. He kinda liked the idea of another person being calmed by his presence. “It was the least I could do.”

Jiyong just smiled at the omega. ”You have a good heart, which reminds me of something,” is eyes were soft, “if you ever need a place to just be free of everything, we always have a place for you at our place. It can’t be easy when all of your friends are trying to court you at the same time.”

That was not what Namjoon had expected at all. He knew that both Daesung and Seungri seemed to like him. But this was big, bigger than he deserved. “I can’t do that! You don’t have to worry, Bang pd-nim got me my own place, and it isn’t that bad. People are being very accepting and not pressuring me to make a choice.”

“Oh I know you got your own place. I stood guard while Seungri sneaked in. Please don’t keep your key under your doormat you are just going to get stabbed in the middle of the night, but that is not the point right now. Sometimes you need a break from everything around you, but you don’t want to be alone. That is what we are offering you, Seungri said that majority of your friends are either courting you or housing your group mates. We are people completely removed from the situation with no agenda or no expectation of you. ”Namjoon couldn’t stop his face from wearing a skeptical look, which Jiyong smiled softly at. “I know it seems weird, we are an older group, but what started as interest for your sub-gender and your health, turned into interest for you personally and taking a liking for you.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing and stammering a sentence. “I can’t possibly take that offer! You guys are very busy!”

“If redoing the same 3 songs over and over again until we are happy and solo activities are busy then yeah of course we are busy!” He shrugged easily. “We all talked about and agreed on it, you are not being a burden or anything like that. We want you there. If anything see it as a favor to either Daesung or Seungri, both soft alphas and omegas need other omegas around them, and as said… our normal omegas are a little busy either with growing a child inside them or being successful no matter how much SM is trying not to make them.” Jiyong looked at Namjoon expectantly and the younger suddenly felt like he couldn’t let this man down. This man that really shouldn’t even look at Namjoon let alone actually talking to him and offering stuff like that.

Namjoon nodded slowly. “Thank you.” He couldn’t explain how thankful he was, and he could feel his eyes burn with tears he refused to shed. It was still hard to believe that anybody let alone this alpha in front of him cared about him. “Thank you so much.”

Jiyong just smiled and then did something Namjoon didn’t expect. He patted him on the head. “You are a good guy. I hope to see more of you.” and with that… he left.

Leaving behind Namjoon staring at the space where the pink haired alpha had been almost wondering if it really had happened on Jiyong was really just something he imagined, but a text pinging in on his phone proving that it had really did. The text was short and from Daesung without the normal overly complex happy smilies.

_‘He is something else isn’t he?’_

Oh how right Daesung was in that. Well at least Namjoon’s meeting with Jiyong went well. What Namjoon didn’t know yet was that his first meeting with the Big Bang alpha, would be Namjoon insulting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn’t going to be fun, but I am taking a two weeks break from this story, I know... but please listen to me.
> 
> A lot of stuff have been going on in my life and my boyfriend just left to go home to his own country and I won't see him until December!
> 
> The truth is this story requires a lot not just writing but making sure that every plot point ends up solved at the same time. Making sure that the ending is logical but not something you saw coming.
> 
> Then there is a shit ton of research I need to do, many of these groups is the first time I ever write so I want to get it right, that plus since it is mostly canon world there is a lot of double and triple checking schedules to make sure who would be in Japan at the same time as BTS and stuff like that.
> 
> I just need a little break and then I will be back, I am afraid if I keep going I might make mistakes that won’t be correctable! 
> 
> I will keep on writing other stuffs both my normal requests and my Hidden Omega side story requests and I hope you guys would like to read that!


	53. They say love is good, friendship is good, But be warned, the back of your head might be in pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT BETAED!
> 
> I am sorry for it not being beta'ed my beta is very overworked right now, but I didn't want delay this more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have decided since a lot of you don't know that much about B.a.p I would do a quick recap of important things.
> 
> B.a.p also known as Best Absolute Perfect or as I call them, the group with the standing record of how many members they can kill in MV's
> 
> Debuted in 2012 same year as Exo and were originally actually seen as the real competition to Exo going against each other for Rookie of the year (Which they both lost fun fact)  
> In late 2013 they filed a lawsuit against their company after getting treated like shit, like... SM are almost angels compared to how B.a.p were treated, the reason they waited so long was that they wanted Zelo to reach 18 so they could all join in the lawsuit and not leave Zelo to still be under company control.
> 
> Lawsuit lasted for 9-10 months in which they lost almost all of their popularity (Before the lawsuit they were just if not more popular than Exo) and are to this day still fighting to regain that momentum.
> 
> They are well known for often switching up their musicstyle, and their mv's can be very grim and deep sometimes.
> 
> Things important to know about some of the members referenced to in the story.
> 
> Last year Yongguk went on a haitus due to mental health issues  
> Netizens has always treated Himchan (The visual) like shit and there has been partiations to remove him from b.a.p due to his weight(Being to high), and at some point his weight was so low many actual fans got worried  
> Daehyun get's shit for being darkskinned  
> Junhong were known as the original golden maknae also nicknamed '15 year old genius' orignally training with YG, he is a very skilled dancer, rapper and helps with the producing/writing... oh and he is a giant.
> 
> Music I would recommend:  
> [Warrior!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Pwejfz0rI) Their debut song, and to this day my favorite B.a.p song... In this story they are all blonde in tribute to this all blonde debut.  
> [One shot!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zRzl1d5vNU) The original kpop video where members kill's members, to this day I'm still not sure of the storyline... if you get it please explain it to me.  
> [Skydive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VEZuvy0-cc) 10 minute mv / short film, everybody looks good and B.a.p serving up some more angst and dark concept.  
> [Wake me up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku_FYERiHC8) A social commentary on the current state of the world, extremely diverse mv.
> 
> And if you have spotify, Dystopia from the Rose mini album it's b track, but it's amazing

When Namjoon came back to the B.a.p dorm he didn’t expect anybody to be there. He had left his studio after sending a text to Hakyeon to reschedule with Jungkook and quickly catch him up on what happened with Jiyong so he knew what was wrong if Jungkook was acting weirdly. At first he wanted to write to Jungkook himself, but he was worried that he might just make Jungkook’s guilt worse and that it was better for him to be told by the Vixx leader face to face.

The dorm was dark and dormant when he arrived, but that was okay as Namjoon yawned lightly. Doctor Choi had warned him that he in general would feel tired a lot more after starting practice and gym again, and that it was better for him to listen to his body and actually sleep.

That was how Namjoon ended up napping on the couch, untold hours later when he woke up to a strong thigh under his face. A soft hand is petting his hair while the scent of bergamot filled his nose in soft waves of calmness. “Jongup?” Namjoon mumbled sleepily.

“Yongguk said it was best to let you sleep. He went back to the studio and the rest is still busy for today.” Namjoon opened his eyes tiredly looking up at the blonde alpha who was smiling shyly down at him. “I just meant to put a pillow under your head so you wouldn’t hurt your neck, but you seemed to sleep more calmly with people around you.”

Not for the first time Namjoon thought that the universe had been very random when it assigned B.a.p with sub genders. The shy, sweet and tiny dancer Jongup was an alpha while way way to tall and teasing Junhong an omega. Peaceful and nice Himchan who would have done much better as an omega was an beta, but then in the end did it really matter? Everybody seemed happy in their sub gender.

“Thank you. I struggle with sleeping alone… abandonment issues… I have gotten used to sleeping near alphas. That is why I left last night… I’m sorry.”

Jongup just bopped his nose with a thing finger. “It’s okay, it wasn’t like you left me alone I had Youngjae.” Both smiled at each other, Jongup shyly and Namjoon sleepily until Jongup spoke up. “Since we are alone, do you wanna spend some time together?” His voice was a little hesitant like he wasn’t sure that it was something Namjoon wanted to.

Namjoon smiled at him eyes closed, content with how Jongup was petting him softly. Namjoon had ever really seen himself as somebody who needed physical contact, but the more he settled into his omeganess and embraced how everybody seemed to be happy to give it to him, the more content he became. And Jongup was really good at petting his touch was hard enough to scratch his scalp, but still soft enough to not hurt him. “I would like to.”

Jongup pulled up a strand of his galaxy dyed hair. “I need to go and got my roots bleached, and you desperately either need the color pulled out or a new dye job… Wanna go?”

That made Namjoon wake up. He hadn’t been feeling lately his roots were showing and the color had paled badly. Already before he went to the hospital he had needed a dye job badly and this seemed to be the cue to do it. Forcing himself to sit up and let the alpha’s hand leave his hair. “Good idea.” He smiled widely, he loved the feeling of new dyed hair.

Also… he kinda needed a new start like that. For him dye jobs were a new start, it was something that he always felt better after a while. Yes this was not approved by his stylist so this was even better. “Can we go now?” He was eager.

Jongup laughed a little. “Yes, I have already booked a time for me, and if we ask nicely they will have time for you as well! Do you want the same color again, it was pretty on you.”

Namjoon just shook his head. “I liked the galaxy, but I want a new start… if that’s okay?”

The younger just laughed. “As long as it isn’t your debut hair style I will support you in anything. Because that was tragic and not the good kind of tragic.” Jongup was already up gathering his things. He hated going and getting his hair dyed alone, but the rest had went when he had been a baby and stayed to sleep instead because he was tired.

Both idols were eager to reach the salon, hoods up as the walked the cold winter streets huddled together to fight the cold. Jongup looked over at his companion who was lightly humming along to last years Big Bang song they both listened to in their shared headphones.

He had been the one most hesitant to agree with the courting of Namjoon. It wasn’t because he had any negative thoughts about the newly presented omega, but it was in his nature to be hesitant and a little shy. He had met and talked with Namjoon before, but he wasn’t a close personal friend with him like Junhong, Yongguk, and Himchan were.

They hadn’t pressure him or anything like that, they had brought it up and asked his opinion about it. Had he said no, nobody would have even questioned it they would have accepted his opinion and choice.

But he hadn’t said no, he had agreed to trying it out. There were multiple reasons for that. While yes they were balanced in subgenders he also wanted to give it a chance that Namjoon would fit with them. He knew that he as a person would be a good fit and while they might not ‘need’ him, he could do well with them. And then he wanted to do right by Namjoon, the older idol had always been kind to him and around him. He deserved a lot better than the hand he had been dealt and that better could be them.

The thing was that Jongup hadn’t expected to ever be like this, with Namjoon next to him softly humming along to loser. The alpha was pretty sure that was why they all wanted Namjoon to at least consider them. After he went to Got7 first they almost expected him to stay. Not because he was mean or anything like that, but because Namjoon was now an omega who had gone through way too much shit.

It wasn’t wrong or unthinkable that he very likely could have stayed with Got7, they were the ones that he had spent the most time with. There was a very real chance that Namjoon even if it wasn’t the right pack for him would stay since his omega would be desperate to belong.

A small smile formed on Jongup’s lips as he looked at Namjoon almost falling over his own long legs and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to grab Namjoon’s much bigger hand intertwining his fingers with the omegas.

All that didn’t matter and maybe they shouldn’t have doubted that Namjoon would give chances to everybody. He was committed to his words, and while Jongup hoped that Namjoon would choose them, He had a feeling that even if he didn’t he would still help them in ways he couldn’t describe, but hopefully he picked them he would be good with them.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little at the  mid thought facial expression Jongup was wearing flashing his dimples to the young a light blush spreading on his cheeks as Namjoon just thought ‘he is cute like this’.

He had expected Jongup to lead him to a stylist at his company or something like that. But instead he had lead Namjoon to a smaller salon not far from the dorm. The salon was almost empty other than an older lady sitting in a corner with dye in her hair and an alpha in his late twenties standing at the desk texting.

At the sight at the green haired alpha Jongup let go of Namjoon’s hand to instantly yell out. “Hyuuuuung!” The older male only just managed to step out from behind his desk before Jongup had jumped him arms and legs wrapped around him. “Jongup-ah? You are early!”

The male was not somebody Namjoon had ever seen before clearly not an idol or anything like that. He was tall reaching Namjoon in height if not more and a cat like build with a soft mouth in an easy smile. The scent of what he was almost sure was cherry coke, his arms were wrapped right under Jongup’s bum to make sure the younger alpha didn’t tumble to the ground.

Namjoon didn’t need to be able to see Jongup’s face to know that the younger was grinning like a hyena. “Namjoon woke up earlier than I expected!” He jumped down and pointed towards Namjoon eagerly, “Joonie this is Minsoo! He is my brother!”

Namjoon didn’t actually know that Jongup had siblings, but then again he should have expected it. It was very unlikely to not have any siblings, packs needed to have a lot of kids just to replace themselves. The South Korean government was pushing for more to insure that the population wouldn’t stop growing like it had in countries like Japan. Namjoon personally wasn’t close to any of his pack siblings, it wasn’t that he didn’t like them or there were bad blood between them, it was simply normal to grow apart.

When he thought about it made sense from a biological part, as you tested new packs and joined your own it would be way too much social overload if you had to be close to your siblings and their packs as well. Then starting to know you packmates family packs. So many people!

But saying that, there were still people like Jongup who stayed close to a few of their siblings, and seeing Minsoo’s fond look at the younger alpha it was clear that he also adored his younger brother. “Oh, from BTS right? I like your guys music a lot, one of my mates is a massive fan. I heard you presented as an omega you are looking healthier than the pictures she showed us.”

Namjoon couldn’t help but blush a little at the comment, sometimes when he meet people it was still hard for him to understand that they ‘knew’ him that they were invested in his health and wellbeing. Also they didn’t have that many alpha fans so it was nice, he smiled as wide as he could to the male dimples popping, “Thank you, it’s nice to meet some of Jongup’s family.”

Jongup smiled at Namjoon, he liked how Namjoon was always nice to people and he was also very likeable especially by people older than him. It had to be a leader thing Yongguk was the same. “We are courting him now!” He on purpose hadn’t told his brother about it before, he didn’t want to talk about just for it to never happen.

Minsoo cocked his head slightly to the side. “I think you guys have a thing for tall omegas. I’m for you guys, but Namjoon if this one tells you that playing World of Warcraft for 12 hours straight is normal he is lying, and the rest of the pack is way too soft on him.”

Minsoo was not allowed to speak  any more as Jongup, having to go to the tip of his toes to reach, covered Minsoo’s mouth. “No they love me and respect my life choices. Don’t listen to him Namjoon! He is a dirty liar! EEEEW! YOU LICKED ME!”

Namjoon had to cover his mouth to try and hold in his giggle. He was right Jongup was cute cute little alpha. “I will keep that in mind.” Jongup pouted and it made both Namjoon and his brother laugh just causing him to pout more.

“See if I ever introduce you to my friends again!”

“So you are going to leave your hair and your friends hair to stylists who care more for the look than the health of it?” Minsoo raised a green eyebrow, and that was when Namjoon noticed that his green hair is kept in a loose braid on his back looked very… healthy. Something you rarely saw in the idol industry. Now that he thought about it, all of B.a.p were blonde, but their hair was actually healthy. Namjoon now started to understand why Jongup had taken him here.

“Do you do all of the guys hair?”

Minsoo nodded already pushing an eager Jongup into a chair. “Yeah, started with just doing this ones, but as the pack formed I couldn’t let my brothers mates destroy their hair and go bald now could I? It would make him very sad.”

“Ery sad.” Jongup mumbled, having stolen a lollipop from the desk before sitting in his chair, cheek now puffed out like a squirrel. “We even got management to offer him a stylist job but he doesn’t want it!”

The older brother just laughed lightly while checking the ends of Jongup’s hair. “I like my place here, and you guys coming to me gives you a little bit of free space as well. Plus I want nothing to do with idol life. I seen how they treated you guys. I don’t need that.”

Jongup clearly tried to pout, but the lollipop in his mouth made it impossible for him so he just bloated up his cheeks more in his best squirrel way. “Do you have time to dye Namjoon’s hair as well?”

“Of course, I expected you to bring somebody. You have the same inability to go anywhere alone like a small puppy,” Minsoo had moved over to mix up some bleach, “let me put this in the baby’s hair and then we can look at yours.”

“I’m not a baby! It’s not my fault everybody is stupidly tall!” But his voice was still light, showing that he wasn’t actually mad.

As Minsoo spread the bleach over the roots of Jongup’s hair making light comments about it’s condition and small talk while doing it. Namjoon was happy just sitting in his own chair watching the two brothers. It was kinda cute how Minsoo babied his younger brother.

When the green haired hairdresser finished covering Jongup’s roots, he went over to Namjoon. “What do you want to do? A complete change or a redye?”

Namjoon perched his lips thinking. “I… I kinda want a new start, but I also really like this color I think it fits me.”

Minsoo was rubbing Namjoon’s ends between his fingers. “What about grape? It would look good with your skintone. I have been trying to convince Daehyun to get that color forever. It would be close to what you have now, but still different enough that it would be a new change.”

He didn’t have to think much about it as he nodded. “Yeah… I would like that.” He trusted this guy if he said it would look good on him, plus Jongup was nodding eagerly along clearly having faith in his brother.

When the dye was in their hair and both were set to wait while Minsoo went to the older lady fixing up her hair. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from reaching over to hold Jongup’s hand it always surprised him when people did nice things like this for him.

Jongup smiled at him lollipop long gone as he instead of taking Namjoon’s hand instead played with his fingers as Namjoon smiled at him. “Thank you for taking me here, it means a lot to me. I know we don’t know each other that well.”

Jongup cocked his head a little to the side. “That is one of the reasons I asked you to join me here. I wanted us to spend some time together. I don’t spend days in a studio hiding from the world like you guys do, and I doubt you want to join me in the dance studio. So I wanted to find something we both either had to do or wanted to do. So I came up with this,” he shrugged a little, “I hoped you would like it.”

“If you had asked me to join you in the dance studio I would have agreed, I might not love dance and am not amazingly good at it, but it is something that matters a lot to you so I would do it for you, but yeah I needed this. I kinda hated how my hair looked.” Namjoon giggled a little as Jongup followed the lines on his palm… it tickled.

“To be nice I want to say that it looked pretty, but we both know that would be a lie.” Jongup joined Namjoon in giggling. While Namjoon normally struggled with alphas, especially the first few times, but there seemed to be no problems with Jongup he hadn’t even flinched once as he was now exploring the visible bones in his wrist. Instead his inner omega keened under the younger alpha’s touch.

Their serene silence was broken as Namjoon’s phone went off. He had forgotten to mute it after messaging Hakyeon earlier, the tone also known as the first few tones from death march indicated that it was Seungri. Three quick texts after each other made Namjoon grip for the phone with his free hand only to be greeted with 2 different pictures of Seungri’s face and the question was which one was better.

While Jongup clearly hadn’t tried to look at his phone, it was almost impossible to miss when he maximized the pictures, and it was clear that he wanted to ask a question, but wasn’t sure how to so instead he just looked at Namjoon.

The older omega gave Jongup a soft smile. “You can ask questions it’s okay.” He knew that it was normal to be curious! It was Big Bang, a group most idol groups looked up to not only for their success, but the fact that next year they would be celebrating 10 years together without anybody leaving. Something that almost no groups ever reached. He knew that Jongup would have to be curious after he texted B.a.p that Jiyong had been by his studio.

Jongup looked relieved like he could finally say all the thought he had thought about. “What are the like? As people?”

For people who weren’t idols it might seem like a weird question, but for Namjoon it made sense without a question. Many idols put on a character or a mask when showing to the public. It wasn’t to lie about who you were, but to hope that you might survive with your mental state intact. He thought over the question, it was valid and it made him think, how were the really?  His first instinct was to say… nice, but that might not cover it.

“Seungri-hyung is nothing like I expected. He still has the variety personality energetic and stuff like that. He is the type to split everything up to 10 different texts instead of one big one, but he is also weirdly serious in ways that he hides. He runs so many different things that isn’t just being an idol. It is clear that it is really hurting him that he isn’t allowed or given the chance to do music like the rest are. So he bottles it all up and does his best to succeed in other areas as to prove that he is worth something. He is disturbingly good at noticing if something is wrong, not just in voice, but if I am feeling bad but try to hide it he still guesses it. His scent is candy apples. A weird combination of his soft side as a soft alpha and the sourness of apples that is his alpha and personality.” Namjoon bit his lip a little absentmindedly, it was the best way he could describe Seungri.

“Daesung-hyung is actually just like his screen personality for the main point. Other than he has an addiction to those big homemade emojis and seems to be able to have conversations only in those. I didn’t expect him to be so… omega. I don’t mean that in a bad way! He is just so… soft and nice, when I talk with him on the phone he seems to be able to diffuse a mood with just a word. He is kind and tiny! He is so short in person, so is Jiyong-hyung! I know that there were a lot of talk about the fact that their official height was a lie and even with big insoles they were still really short, but I never expected it to be like this!” Jongup was just looking at Namjoon with eager eyes taking everything in.

“I haven’t talked to TOP-sunbaenim, but I talked to Jiyong-hyung today, he is… scary. No scary isn’t the right word intimidating. He seems to be able to swap on and off the G Dragon persona. He is a lot nicer when he is just being himself, very insightful as well, and he seems to even after all the success still feels like he has to prove something. But he is clearly also very protective of his pack. It is clear that they mean more than everything to him and he would burn down to world for them. Oh and his scent is this sweet chili soup. It his the creaminess of delicious jigae that make your tastebuds drool and want to be near it, but then there is the sharpness of chili to keep you aware that he could and would fuck you up.” Namjoon perched his lips again thinking of the last Big Bang member not sure how he would describe Youngbae.

“Youngbae-hyung is different. I can’t explain it but he has this calming effect on me. Not just him as a person but his scent. Out of the scent dolls I have,  his calms me the most. When he speaks and explains stuff it is like it puts a calming filter over the chaos of a mind.” He got frustrated a little, because Namjoon was good with words. It was one of the few things he was actually good at! But why was it that on this topic, explaining people he seemed to fail? He couldn’t explain his inner omega’s reaction to Youngbae.

Luckily Jongup who had presented more than two weeks ago was there to help. “That is not abnormal. There are people who are able to calm people by either their scent or speech pattern, it is an ability to feel if people are unstable. Jaehyo from Block B is an omega like that. Yixing is an beta like that.”

That made Namjoon look at him with gaping mouth. “Yixing?”

Jongup laughed softly. “You never noticed before? I have even see him doing it with you. I can’t even remember the award show, but you had to do a speech in English and you were slowly looking like you were falling apart. We were actually talking about who should help you since no one from BTS looked to be doing anything, he put a hand on your shoulder and you relaxed instantly without even talking with each other.”

Now that Jongup was saying it Namjoon could remember it. Back then he had really just set it as oh my god physical contact from somebody oh my god, please tell me Got7 is coming home soon because I am actually on my way to a mental break down. But then he remembered Yixing’s scent of Chamomile in the air. Oh god Jongup was right. “Are there other idols like that?” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from asking, he had never even thought about it before.

Jongup looked to be thinking for a moment before he spoke up. “There are a lot. Krystal from F(x), Kikwang from Beast, uhm… either Kibum or Henry from Super Junior don’t quote me on that one, Chanwoo from iKon, the tiny one with the abs from Astro. Not the tiny young one but the tiny older one. There are probably more, but that is the one I can remember from the top of my head. I never knew Taeyang was one, but then again it isn’t often you see them interact with non YG groups.”

Namjoon thought about it for a second, he didn’t really know any of the mentioned people very well. The closets he knew was Chanwoo but after his… issues… with Bobby he had stayed away from the rest of iKon and winner. “Well the more you know it seems!”

The rest of their hair dye trip went fairly well. They had light chats about everything from Jongup’s excitement of the new World of Warcraft expansion and something about escaping from the ‘garrison hell’ whatever that meant to talk about Namjoon’s failure at learning dance routines.

They left the salon, where Namjoon did get a hug from a very happy Minsoo who seemed very happy with how Namjoon’s hair had turned out. Namjoon had to agree after a blow dry his hair fell in soft purple grape strands around his face, complementing his skin tone while making him look a lot softer than normal… something that he really liked. He also received a strict order on what hair products to used after being told that their should be enough at the B.a.p dorm for him so not to worry about.

Jongup looked nice as well with his roots dyed and hair fluffy after a blow dry, even though Namjoon had to admit he was weak for the blonde hair dark roots that he sported before. The full blond made him look a lot softer.

As they went back to the dorm again with their hands locked in each other, Namjoon was absentmindedly texting as Himchan trying to figure out if everybody was home, and if they needed to pick food up or anything like that. A text came back to Namjoon that if they could pick up Yongguk in the studio instead, since the silly goose had his phone muted AGAIN, it would be nice, problem was that the studio was in the other end and Jongup was already yawning even if he was trying to hide it from Namjoon trying is best to be alphaish.

Namjoon just giggled and stopped them leaning over and kissing Jongup on the forehead. “Go home you had dance all of today. I just need to quickly grab Yongguk.”

“You don’t want me to go with you?” Jongup couldn’t hide the second yawn as he pouted

Namjoon shook his head. “I don’t think I can carry you home when you fall asleep. Go home nap or help the rest with the food there isn’t that long to the studio and somebody has to pick up your dear leader,”

For a second it looked like Jongup wanted protest, but he just sighed before perching his lips weirdly. “I want a real kiss first then.”

Alpha’s had no right to be that cute and Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing a little as he bowed down to press a swift kiss to the youngers chapped lips. Jongup didn’t seem happy at how fast the kiss was. “I want an actual real kiss when you guys get back.”

“If you are still awake when I get back then okay.” Namjoon teased, but it seemed to settle Jongup as he just stuck his tongue out before turning to walk the last 150 meters home calling behind him.

“Be careful! Don’t get kitty-napped!”

Namjoon didn’t answer him, just giggled a little making his way to the studio. The air was cold and he had to hide his hands in his hoodie missing Jongup’s warm hand in his own. But his pace was quick so it didn’t take him long to get to the building and finding the studio he had hid in with Yongguk and other people many times before.

As he opened the door he dropped his phone that he had been clutching as he looked into the room.“YONGGUK!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... I hope you guys liked that... 
> 
> So I have a few little things I want to say here. If you want more Hidden Omega verse, I have released a few stories in my break.
> 
> You want more Vixx and Jungkook including finally a smut scene between Wonshik and Jungkook, I wrote an 8k story for that [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11256783) I hope you guys like it... I liked it.
> 
> I wrote the third chapter of my SHINee story in the Hidden Omega verse, this time with Minho focus, which can be found [HERE!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10753230/chapters/24988020)
> 
> I wrote the third chapter of my why sm is the devil story, which is basically a compilation of all the ways SM Fucked over their groups, this time with focus on Kris and Tao can be found [HERE!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10914738/chapters/24956097)
> 
> _________________________________
> 
> Okay I am done pimping my own stories out now, I hope you guys are still willing to read after this break and I hope you liked this chapter <3


	54. At first, it was half excitement, Half worries, But in the end, it became an obligation, trial and error

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not beta'ed my beta reader is very busy :O

Yongguk didn’t react, he didn’t even look up at Namjoon his natural scent of white cherries were filling the room. But it didn’t smell nice and soft like it normally did, instead it had an undertone of rot to it that worried Namjoon.

The thing was that he had smelled an undertone like this before, with Seokjin the few times Namjoon had caught him after an anxiety attack. Seokjin had always been really good at hiding it, it was probably one of the reason it hadn’t blown up in everybody's face before. But Namjoon had caught him a few times after he had an attack. Even if Seokjin mostly rejected his help.

Yongguk was sitting in the corner of the studio arms wrapped around his legs slowly rocking back and forward eyes hidden in his knees and it was clear that he wasn’t really aware of Namjoon in the room.

Namjoon wasn’t really sure what to do. He had never before had to deal with an actual anxiety attack, a part of him wanted to call for help to find somebody who actually knew what they were doing, but he also knew he shouldn’t and couldn’t leave Yongguk alone. Looking at the alpha hunched in the corner he knew that he would never have it in him to walk away now.

Okay, he had read about this to make sure that he could help Seokjin if it ever came to it. He just had to remember his reading. First identify which symptoms he was showing.

Scent changed with an underlying to tone of fear and remorse. Okay.

Trembling, yes.

  
Paler than his normally healthy glowing skin? Yes, actually much worse than he expected. Perspiration on his skin, was that a symptom as well? Namjoon wasn’t sure, but as he slowly sat down next to Yongguk the scent of sweat also filled the air, yeah that was a symptom.

Shortness of breath, clutching his chest. Okay this was an anxiety attack, what had he read what did he need to do first. First fix the breathing do this by making sure that he realized where he is and what his brain is showing him isn’t right. Every person is different some people will panic more with physical contact some people need it to calm down, to be grounded he never seen Yongguk having an attack before. Nobody in B.a.p had told him about it.

But there wasn’t time for him to call them now, so Namjoon had to go by his instincts. Yongguk never shied away from physical contact. Normally he seeked it out and was always open for it, he put his hand hesitantly on Yongguk’s knee lightly petting the skin that was shown through the ripped material.

At first Namjoon didn’t think that the alpha would react to it, but Yongguk lifted his head just a little eyes unfocused as he looked at Namjoon, not really recognizing him. “Gukkie you hear me?” Again no reaction. The older male was still shaking his breathing to quick and Namjoon knew he had to slow it down.

But the reaction to his physical contact seemed good. It got Yongguk’s attention and seemed to center him a little staring at Namjoon with open eyes even if there were little understanding of the real world in them.

Namjoon took the chance to instead sit in front of Yongguk moving forward a little so he was sitting in his knees between Yongguk’s lightly spread legs. Taking his face between his hands keeping his grip soft focusing on meeting Yongguk’s eyes. He remember reading that he needed to establish a connection, he needed to make sure that Yongguk knew he was there.

Yongguk’s eyes focused a little now, but his breathing were still off to fast not good. “I need you to breath with me. I know right now it’s hard, but you are okay. You are safe, but I need you to breath with me.”

At first he was worried that the alpha wouldn’t listen to him, that it wouldn’t work. But slowly his breathing slowed down from the unhealthy one he still didn’t speak but his body relaxed if only then just a little.

Namjoon let go of Yongguk’s face with one hand to instead grab into Yongguk’s shaking one guiding it to over his heart where he hopefully could feel Namjoon breathing and heartbeat, he was forcing himself to relax to have a calming heartbeat and breathing that Yongguk could mimic.

It was common knowledge that humans tried to copy the breathing and heart patterns of those around them. So Namjoon hoped that it could help Yongguk. He needed to stay calm… He couldn’t show how terrified he was for Yongguk and just desperately wanting to hold him close and not let go again.

They sat like that for a while with Namjoon just holding Yongguk’s face and hand until the alpha seemed to finally calm his breathing a little and his eyes cleared up a little. His voice was hoarse as he croaked out. “Namjoon?” Even if they had spent the last however many minutes it was staring at each other it was like he first now noticed his fellow rapper.

“Yeah, hey Gukkie.” Namjoon did his best keeping his voice soft and light at the same time. Trustworthy and stable was what he was going for.

Another full body shiver racked Yongguk’s frame and for a second Namjoon thought that the older alpha was going to break the hand he was resting over his chest. He was holding it so hard, but then he loosened his grip and he seemed more aware. “I…” the b.a.p leader seemed lost for words, and he tried to look away from Namjoon, but Namjoon wasn’t having it.

Still on his knees in front of Yongguk he moved a little closer to the alpha just to hug him close letting Yongguk finally break the intense eye contact. “You are okay, you don’t need to say anything.”

He hadn’t expected to feel the tears in the crook of his neck, but he was actually happy that he was that meant that Yongguk was finally letting go of all the feelings that was holding him down. Namjoon made himself more comfortable and did his best to let Yongguk rest his weight on Namjoon’s still fragile body. From behind Yongguk’s back almost blindly he managed to text Himchan that they would be late and to not wait for them with, something came up in the studio.

He felt bad for lying, he hated doing it. But he also didn’t know if it was something Yongguk had shared with the rest of b.a.p and he knew from personal experience it sucked having a secret forced from you before you were ready to share it with the world.

Namjoon let Yongguk just cry himself out, petting his hair and back making soft calming noises and just telling him to let it out that it was okay. His knees hurt being so bony that sitting on them was uncomfortable, but he didn’t want to say anything yet. Just letting Yongguk cry out.

In the end the alpha seemed to either be done crying, or just in general being out of tear as he sniffed a little moving his head away from Namjoon’s neck. “Did Jongup rub himself up against you like a puppy because you smell like him, which is extreme since that is Junhong’s shirt.

Oh he hadn’t even noticed that he was wearing Junhong’s shirt. He was more happy that the shirt he was given let him hide his hands and felt loose, he loved loose shirts like this which did make sense that it was since the maknae was a giant tree. “We went out to get our hair dyed.”

Yongguk sniffed again and wiped his runny nose with the sleeve of his hoodie, which yes was disgusting, but Namjoon decided that he wasn’t going to comment on it giving Yongguk a break for now. But he was going to throw the hoodie in the wash as soon as they got back home, because that shit was disgusting.

“Look’s pretty.” Yongguk’s voice was broken from his crying fit, but he was clearly trying to have a little bit of pride.

“How are you feeling? Calm now?” Yongguk nodded sniffing again hanging his head as he separated from Namjoon.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,”

Namjoon wasn’t having any of that, he was not going to let Yongguk act like nothing was wrong

“Does this happen a lot?”

The older alpha looked ashamed for a second, Namjoon was worried that he was about to lie to Namjoon instead he just nodded. “Recently it has been more frequent. I have been working a lot.”

“Does everybody else know?” Namjoon didn’t believe that any of B.a.p had it in them to leave Yongguk on his own if they knew what was going on.

His assumption was proven right when the other leaned against the wall hanging his head avoiding Namjoon’s searching eyes. “You can’t tell them, they already have a lot of thing to worry about. I’m the pack alpha and leader they shouldn’t have to worry about me as well.”

Namjoon put on his best leader face and slapped the back of Yongguk’s head, before putting his hands on his side puffing out his lower lip trying to look stern. Which was hard when he could feel his own scent filling the room chasing away Yongguk’s distorted scent which was slowly returning to normal. “You do not get to say stuff like that!” He wasn’t really sure if he managed to sound stern as he was trying. Atleast he got Yongguk up to raise his head and look surprised at Namjoon holding his hand to the back of his head where Namjoon had hit him.

“Don’t look at me like that. I am a leader as well and look what happened when I ignored my trouble. I almost died!” Namjoon gulped a little at that thought remembered the pain for a second, the clenching of his chest where his heart was. No it wasn’t the time to think about that now! “You can’t help anybody if you don’t help yourself first! Don’t you trust your pack?  They are pack… not some babies you look after, you have to trust that they are there for you as well. The way you are acting makes it seem like you don’t trust them.”

“But… we have so much to do already we…” Yongguk didn’t get to finish his argument when Namjoon’s hand came to rest over his mouth as he was shaking his head.

“No… together, you deal with your issues together.  BTS…” Another gulp from Namjoon, he tried his best to not think to much about BTS’s issues, believing that his plans that he had started would be enough for BTS to solve their issues. A long talk with Bang PD-nim had made him realize that some of their issues Namjoon couldn’t solve for them. “BTS became bad because they didn’t talk, you need to communicate… Yongguk please, I can’t watch another group of people I love fall apart because they no longer talked. I don’t want you guys to end up hurting each other like they did. They are still trying to fix what they had and there is no guarantee that they will get back the magic they had together before.”

That seemed to get to Yongguk as he looked away from Namjoon again with what looked to be an ashamed facial expression. “I… you are right Joonie. I just don’t want to worry them. I am worried that they will stop focusing on their own issues if I tell them about mine. They are all so important to me. I love them.”

Namjoon gathered up Yongguk’s face in his hands again before leaning forward and pressing a light kiss between his brows. He wanted to kiss him normally, but he didn’t have it in him to do it… not yet. Someday he would, but not yet. “Together you guys can get through it. I promise you together you can. I’m not going to force you to tell them today, soon yes, but not today. I think you had enough excitement as well.”

“You as well?” Namjoon cocked his head to the side in a confused facial expression like he wasn’t sure what Yongguk was implying. “You are part of us right now, you get through everything. Even your own issues with us.”

Namjoon should have expected Yongguk to be a sap. Of course he should have, he felt himself almost let out a sigh of relief as he smelled the older’s scent coming back to normal. Hiis normal fresh scent of white cherries relaxed Namjoon and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Yeah… together.”

Yongguk’s hooded eyes cringed up in a eye smile as he leaned forward to place a kiss on Namjoon’s lips. It hadn’t been their first kiss since Namjoon got there, but this almost felt like it meant more than the other ones. This was almost like a promise between them that they would both get through this.

As the kiss got broken Namjoon wanted to ask more questions. He wanted to know everything he could about what had triggered the attack. What it felt like and anything like that, but he knew that it was enough for now so he just settled with asking. “You okay now?”

The older’s nod was slow, but steady. “Thank you. I never… I never had helped before. I relied on myself to get out of it.”

“We are all going to do our best to be there for you, so you never have to do it alone again.” Namjoon knew that he was making a promise for not just himself, but for the rest of B.a.p as well. Something told him that the other idols wouldn’t have an issues with his promise. They were probably happy about it.

Yongguk just kissed him softly again, Namjoon smiled into the kiss. Kissing was still something new for him in general and every time he managed to get a kiss it made him happy and butterflies in his stomach and he giggled against the other’s lips.

The other broke the kiss trying his best to look insulted at Namjoon. “Are you laughing at my kisses?”

“I just like kisses. I never thought I would, but I really do, but you need to use chapstick though.” He teased only to get almost attacked and pushed down in a hug so they both landed on the ground laying on the floor, which wasn’t short by any means.

“You are such a brat.” Yongguk mumbled, but he nuzzled his head into Namjoon’s scent gland that was now bared for him, something Namjoon just let him doing as he let his head fall backwards exposing more of it.

“Mmh.” He agreed with a light hum, enjoying the sensation running through him. He knew that Yongguk wasn’t okay, but for now he let him pretend. Let him feel okay and free, he knew what it was like being stuck in his own mind with no freedom to get out, plus… it was comfortable.

Namjoon had no idea how long time they more or less cuddled on the ground. Yongguk seemed to be happy with their skin contact as his hand had sneaked under Namjoon’s sweater to rest on his stomach, until said stomach rumbled.

That seemed to bring both back to reality as Yongguk sat up with a set. “Oh no! I promised to come home. They are going to be so worried about us, and you need to eat it is important.”

Namjoon could feel the panic in Yongguk start to take over as thousand thought took over his mind. All of them worse than the other, he did the only thing he could think of he leaned forward to kiss him. “Calm down, they know where you are. There is no reason to worry, I wrote to them already,” he smiled still holding Yongguk’s face between his hands, “but I am hungry.” He wasn’t but he knew he had to eat. “How about we go an get food. I promised Himchan I would feed both you and me so?”

Yongguk was easily nodding. “Yeah let’s do that.” He seemed eager to feed Namjoon.

The younger wanted to laugh a little, but then he thought about it for a second. It wasn’t really funny was it? That everybody was so worried about him that they felt that they needed to be eager with Namjoon even mentioning food or anything to do with it.

That moment was kinda an eye opener for Namjoon without it wanting to be. While yes he had known that everybody was worried about his health, but he had never really thought about how much of an issues it really was and how much everybody seemed to worry about him.

For the second time that day an alpha took his hand and intertwined their fingers leading him out of the studio. While Namjoon knew that the problems weren’t fixed it was a start.

The ended up going out to getting chicken. Something Namjoon regretted the second he saw what was set in front of him, the chicken was fried in oil. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from trying to count how many calories, and he could feel himself turning it into how many sit up and push ups he had to do, until his vision was blocked by Yongguk’s face. He smiled at Namjoon. “I know it’s overwhelming, and you don’t have to eat everything just try a little bit, plus I ordered salad on the side for you just to make sure, but try to eat a little.”

Namjoon was slow at nodding. He could almost feel the cold fear in his body with the thought of the food entering. He had managed to get by by only eating a little and mostly healthy foods in groups of big people, but Yongguk didn’t let him panic. Instead leaning his head on Namjoon’s shoulder from his position next to him opening his mouth with an “aaaah” sound clearly showing that he wanted Namjoon to feed him.

Namjoon stared at him for second, but then he felt his muscles relax as he with slightly shaking hand lead a piece of chicken to Yongguk’s mouth with the older's lips closing around the tips. That was how they ended up eating, it was easier for Namjoon when he wasn’t in control of what went into his mouth, and it was easier for him to deal with the fact that what he was eating wasn’t poison when he was feeding it to other people.

He might not have managed to eat a lot for his weight and height, but he did his best and Yongguk seemed proud of him as he messed up his hair like Namjoon was a child. “See that wasn’t so bad, and you did really well you should be proud of yourself!”

Namjoon did end up blushing a little from that. He had more or less been feed like a child, but he had enjoyed it. The compliment made butterflies fly flutter around in his stomach instead of the normal feel of accid that he had after a meal. “Thank you.”

Yongguk just smiled at him. “We find this worked with Himchan, and I thought maybe it worked on you as well.” He then stiffened awkwardly looking out the window.

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon felt worried.

The other relaxed after a second putting a light hand on Namjoon’s face forcing him to look into Yongguk’s smiling eyes. “Seems like dispatch found us.”

Namjoon stiffened in his seat as well, he felt the need to rip himself away from Yongguk but then he remembered he wasn’t anything bad. What he was doing was okay. He was an omega being courted, this was healthy and good so he smiled at Yongguk and for the first time completely calmly said. “Let's give them a show.”

Which they did, with hoods down completely in the light of their table with the moon’s light from the side BTS leader Kim Namjoon and B.a.p’s leader Bang Yongguk shared a deep kiss documented by a very eager dispatch employee who couldn’t believe his luck, and Namjoon… well… he was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww this was such a nice ending, aren't you guys happy there is no cliffhanger!
> 
> Also... anybody know any bottom Ravi/Wonshik stories? I will give an arm and a leg for some...
> 
> Oh let's tell some facts... we haven't had facts in a while... Jay Park was originally kicked out of his pack over the misunderstand that in the real world got him kicked out of 2pm


	55. This is the orientation to welcome your unbelievable fandom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the chapter being late, there is an explanation to why in the bottom of the chapter if you want to read

When Namjoon and Yongguk got home both were tired. Yongguk’s anxiety attack had taken it out of him and Namjoon in general was still weak. Both but of them were like giggling schoolgirls as they sneaked into the B.a.p dorm, something not really fitting of two 20+ year old rappers both measuring over 180 cm, but it worked for them.

It was empty and quiet when they got there signalling that everybody was very much sleeping. Which was probably a good idea and something that both Yongguk and Namjoon should listen to and do as well.

They took a look into the spare nest checking to see if people were still split up, but the nest was empty showing that it was time for everybody to be a pack again. The two leaders tried their best to be silent as they helped each other dressing for bed and brushing their teeth.

Namjoon could still feel the butterflies in his stomach from the idea of being caught by dispatch. Even if it wasn’t really being caught at all, the public knew what was going on. He had been part of Got7’s instagram enough that the public without a doubt knew Namjoon was there.

At some points he had actually been thinking that Got7 was doing a double career as instagram models. Because yeah he spent a lot of time on his phone and social media, but nobody needed to see his stupid face that much.

Namjoon almost cooed when he entered the nest with Yongguk. In the middle of the bed was Junhong lying comfortably spread eagle filling up as much space as his giant body would allow, with Daehyun lying one of shoulders and Youngjae the other. Jongup had a possessive arm around Youngjae’s waist as a tiny octopus, face completely hidden in the beta’s bleached locks.

To be honest Namjoon was a little impressed that Jongup wasn’t getting suffocated, but if hugging people like he tried to turn into the the kraken made him happy then bless him. On the other side of Daehyun was Himchan. His hold on the omega a lot less possessive and more soft as he held onto Youngjae’s hand over the two omega’s stomach. They were adorable, which probably wasn’t a fitting word for B.a.p, but Namjoon found them adorable.

He felt Yongguk wrap his arms around him and resting his head on Namjoon’s shoulder. To this day Namjoon still found it weird when people were taller than him, he was so used to always being the tallest with BTS. “They look kinda cute don’t they?”

“Yeah, they are kinda adorable.”

“This does mean that you are mine for the night, unless you are daring the kraken?” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling into his hand at that.

He knew what had happened today was serious, and more important talk were coming up later. But for now he let himself and Yongguk enjoy the downtime. “I think I will stick with you for now.”

“I feel really loved here.” Yongguk’s voice wad dry, but it was clear that there were no malice behind it or hurt feelings especially when a soft kiss was placed on Namjoon’s neck next to where he was resting his head. “It is still weird that I can do that, and not fear that a tiny alpha is going to stake me in my sleep with a silver tipped stake.”

Namjoon could feel how with this words his entire body got tense he still struggled with the idea of BTS. While yes he talked with most of them everyday at training and they were back at being like there before the pack had started, Namjoon didn’t know how it was going to go when it was their turn to court him.

Did they even want to court him? He had verbal agreements with all of the other packs, but he hadn’t heard anything specific from BTS. Both Jungkook and Seokjin had expressed that they wanted to court him, but he hadn’t heard from Yoongi… none of them had.

Yongguk seemed to feel the change in Namjoon as he quickly excused himself. “Forget what I said, it’s late I’m tired.”

Namjoon just nodded, he wanted to say that it was okay and he could take the mention of Yoongi, but he wasn’t ready for it. He still hadn’t dealt with his feelings for Yoongi, he wasn’t even sure what they was even more. He just wished that people would stop blaming Yoongi for everything. Yoongi was a good pack alpha he cared for Namjoon in his own way, they just needed to talk it over.

Yongguk seemed to sense that it wasn’t the time to talk with Namjoon about it or having a deep discussion. Instead he softly pulled Namjoon towards a free space in the bed. “Still wanna cuddle?”

At that the mood was broken as Namjoon giggled a little as he cuddled up next to Yongguk. “You could stab me in my sleep and I would probably still be up for a cuddle.”

At first it seemed like Yongguk were going to laugh, but instead he yawned making Namjoon as well. It showed that it was clearly time for their talking to stop and one short kiss was shared between them before Namjoon cuddled into the crook of Yongguk’s neck. Taking in the soft alpha scent of white cherries, and it was the last thing filling up Namjoon as he fell asleep.

The next day it wasn’t the alarm clock that woke up Namjoon as he expected even if he was sure he had set it. It was instead a natural up waking. As Namjoon yawned into somebodies shoulder he took in the sweet scent of honeysuckle, showing that his cuddle partner seemed to have swapped.

Namjoon couldn’t stop a whine from escaping him as he buried closer into the shoulder he was hiding on not yet ready to wake up, and his brain having yet to take over and tell him that oh my god he had overslept.

Himchan’s voice was soft as he called out Namjoon’s name. “You awake now sweetcheeks?”

In reality he wanted to act like a toddler, whine and then go back to sleep after having gone to bed so late last night. But instead he just mumbled something, only to notice that he had very charmingly drooled on Himchan’s pretty collarbone… Well Namjoon was going full 10 year old it seemed like.

As he pulled away from Himchan, the other’s loose grip on him easily letting go as Namjoon rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

His voice was still rough with sleep making him actually sound pretty close to Yongguk at that moment. Which would have made him giggle if he wasn’t so sleepy still.

When Namjoon started to take in the nest, how the sun was fighting to get past the blinds, how nobody else were in it and how Himchan seemed to be fully dressed. “What time is it?” Namjoon was still rubbing his eyes, he needed either his glasses or his contacts cause things were kinda blurry.

“2 pm.” Himchan hummed still busy with his phone that he had been using behind Namjoons back while he cuddled him.

That got Namjoon to wake up as he grabbed for his glasses. “2 pm!? But my alarm clock?!” He managed to fall over his own legs as he tried to get up from the bed to pull on his clothes. Oh god he was going to be so late.

A soft, but firm hand grabbed Namjoon’s upper arm pulling the still malnourished rapper back into the bed. “Relax, we talked to Jinyoung who had talked to your doctor. You are supposed to take it slow and wake up naturally. I know it is hard to accept, but you are going to make yourself more sick. Plus one of your producers texted you to say that he was going to record with Jungkook and not to worry about it.”

Namjoon knew it was a nice thing to do, but he couldn’t stop feeling like he was getting treated like a baby who couldn’t do anything by himself. “You don’t need to treat me like this. I know everybody is worried, but you need to respect me still. I am not a child you are all trying to adopt.”

At first Himchan looked confused as he sat up from his half lying position, but then his features relaxed. “Ah, I understand that it is how it looks, and I know you aren’t used to getting treated like this. But this is how caring works Joonie. It isn’t because we don’t respect you as an artist or a leader. It is because we respect you, and we know you have a habit of putting everybody ahead of yourself. I know it takes some getting use to, but we respect you Namjoon we really do.”

It was one of the few times that the beta actually used his full name instead of either sweetcheeks or just Joonie. Namjoon understood what he was saying, but he also couldn’t stop himself from being worried about how it felt. He looked down now having grabbed his phone from his bedside table. “I am not comfortable with people trying to control my life.”

Now Himchan’s look at him was just sad and he reached out resting a hand on Namjoon’s thigh. “We are not trying to control you. I know it might seem like it. And maybe we were going too strong on this, but I promise we were just worried about you.” His touch on Namjoon’s thigh was soft as he petted his thigh. “You are trying to be the best leader you can be, and sometimes you forget about yourself.”

The beta looked sad at the talk and Namjoon felt sad as well. He knew that they weren’t trying to baby him, but lately it felt like he was losing control of his own life and life choices. It felt like he was getting treated like an old school omega. But he also knew that he shouldn’t take out his frustrations on Himchan and that he had a point. He was bad at taking care of his own health most of the time and yeah sometimes he put everybody else above himself, he hung his head a little. “I’m just frustrated. Nobody seems to believe what I say, drawing their own conclusions instead of understanding.”

This wasn’t just about Namjoon himself and his health, but it was stuff like how people refused to believe what he told them about Yoongi and stuff like that. “It is like since I became an omega people don’t trust me to have a clear view of things. It is the things that everybody tells me that wouldn’t do. Treat me differently.”

Namjoon wasn’t sure when he had been gathering up all of this frustration inside of him. It could be because he hadn’t felt that he could let out his frustrations since people were treating him so well. And it was easy to let out his feelings when it was Himchan who was sweet soft and wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Himchan ended up taking Namjoon in a soft hug. “Whoever told you that lied to you. We are going to treat you differently, but not how you think. It is not that we are trying to baby you, but we are all more open with you about affection and stuff like that. And you don’t have a clear view of some things, just like I don’t have a clear view when it comes to my pack. It isn’t that we don’t respect your opinion or trust it, but you are biased. That is how the world works Namjoon.” He was talking into Namjoon’s neck and the younger could feel how he was forming his beautiful features into an unfitting grimace like he wasn’t sure how to word what he was saying. “Are we disrespecting Junhong when we baby him? We just want to show you that we care.”

Finally Namjoon returned the hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to take out my frustrations on you. I just feel helpless sometimes, and you just seemed to be the drop that made the barrel spill over.” Himchan’s scent was soft and calming around him taking over Namjoon’s still weak scent. “I’m glad you care, I just get frustrated. I am still too weak to do a full dance practice and I hate leaving others in control of the recording. Yoongi normally helps with that, but he is still awol and I’m worried about him. He is all alone and what if he is blaming himself for everything.”

This was why Himchan felt as frustrated as Namjoon. Namjoon said he could see clear, but he clearly couldn’t. He had rose tinted goggles if it came to Yoongi. Himchan had respect for Yoongi as an artist, and while he didn’t know the specifics he knew that Yoongi didn’t have a very good childhood and that something had happened to him, but Namjoon… Namjoon couldn’t see anything negative about Yoongi. It was like Namjoon couldn’t really understand that things done to him weren’t okay. But he also knew that it was to early for him to get Namjoon to understand it, he was going to focus on hopefully help Namjoon with something else. He had a plan for the day and surprisingly it wasn’t just a plan about aggressively cuddling the shit out of Namjoon.

Even if that did sound like a good idea.

“Do you trust me Joonie?” he asked hesitantly after Namjoon’s frustration he needed to assure himself that he still had the rappers trust because none of this was going to work without it.

Without hesitation Namjoon nodded. “Of course, always… Always.”

Himchan finally released him looking into Namjoon still sleep soft eyes. “I want to show you something today, it is going to be hard, but I think it could be good for you. I don’t want to tell you where we are going yet, but I want you to know that when we get there you can back out at any point and nobody is going to think less of you or anything like that.”

Again there was no hesitation with Namjoon as he nodded to show his trust. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me Channie.”

Himchan couldn’t stop the soft blush from spreading over his cheekbones at the nickname. It was really cute from Namjoon’s deeper than average voice. “Before we go I want you to know that we all love you and we aren’t doing this to hurt you. None of us are.”

That made Namjoon furrow his brows. “No you don’t, you don’t love me… you can’t yet. I have only been here a few days.”

It didn’t take Himchan long to realize his mistake. “No not like that sweetcheeks,” this was Namjoon’s problem since he had been a ‘dud’ there was so much things like feelings and affection that Namjoon had still to get used to, “yes, we don’t love you romantically… yet, but there are other kinds of love. There isn’t just romantic love. Let’s say you end up after spending time with all of us that you don’t actually fit with any of us and then end up with… uhm… Mamamoo? Big Bang? Who even knows at this point. That doesn’t mean that we will all stop caring about you or that we will stop loving you like a friend.”

“I would not do that!” Namjoon was now blushing again, trying to hide his face with his hands.

Himchan couldn’t stop himself from laughing softly. “I was just using an example, it is not like I expect you to do that. Mamamoo don’t really need more omegas and I’m pretty sure with Big Bang that would be qualified as pedophilic!”

“I’m an adult! And Seungri-hyung is younger than you!”

Both were laughing now it made Himchan happy that the air around them seemed better now. Also Namjoon was fun to tease. “You just presented! You are baby! And they are from Big Bang they all count as 30+ that is just how logic works.”

Then Namjoon did something none of them expected he half jumped Himchan pushing him down on the bed so he managed to hold down the older. “Who is the baby now!” he teased victoriously from his spot perched above Himchan.

The thing was while yeah both of them had suffered from eating disorders. Himchan was much further in recovering so he had no problem swapping their positions around so it was now Namjoon who looked up at him surprised. Strands of his grape colored product free hair covering up his eyes given him a somehow more innocent young look making Himchan groan. “Now you make ME feel like I’m the pedophile. Oh god I’m getting old.”

The sound of Namjoon giggling at his words was worth it especially as Namjoon reached up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “You are old, but it’s okay you are still cute.”

Himchan wanted to protest, but Namjoon’s phone buzzed a few times bringing both idols to look at it. “Seems like your friends has seen today’s front page of dispatch. You and Gukkie looked so cute, even if I have to see you and Jongup holding hands innocently like cute little kids were just as cute I feel like we need you Jongup and Youngjae to sit in a circle with cute sweater paws.”

Namjoon had known that his and Yongguk’s kiss would end up in dispatch, but he had forgotten that it would be seen by all of his friends, but it was okay. Everybody said that it would be okay. So he choose to believe that. “No Junhong? Or Daehyun?”

“I don’t think you can find sweaters with long enough sleeves to give Junhong sweater paws, and Daehyun would not find it amusing.” Himchan explained letting Namjoon up, deciding that it was probably a good idea for him to feed their newest ‘member’ throwing Namjoon’s phone at him, he stretched back and neck popping.

“You aren’t short either.” Namjoon teased unlocking his phone to be met with a fair few messages.

Himchan shrugged. “Well I’m not a giant either, anything exciting?”

There were a few messages. The normal good morning from Daesung as the singer was heading to the gym with an added on sticker of a dancing muffin, because he was actually just a weirdo. Five exclamation marks from Jimin with a smily after to show he wasn’t mad. Jackson pretending to be offended since he never got to kiss Namjoon on a picture and BamBam being straight up offended.

A few people commented on his new hair color and Seungri decided to write a half novel of how Namjoon needed to tilt his head more to the side in his kissing technique. Namjoon shared both the novel and BamBam’s insulted snapchat with Himchan who laughed. “You can tell him that your kissing technique is just fine.”

“Should I tell him that you say he is over 30 as well?”

Himchan just stuck his tongue out leaving the nest to grab some food for both of them not even giving Namjoon an answer because he was being a brat.

The younger looked a lot more put together as he exited the bathroom, swapped his glasses for contacts and actually wearing his own clothes something nobody had let him do for a while, normally enjoying their scent on Namjoon or each other in general.

“Food?” he questioned only to be showed a smoothie in his hand.

“We are going to be late if we don’t go now, and I promise I haven’t stuffed it with sugar I wouldn’t do that against your will.” Himchan understood how it felt like everybody was trying to shove calories and sugar in his face, and he wouldn’t betray Namjoon’s trust in him.

Namjoon just nodded he had wanted to ask that question, but of course Himchan was ahead of him. Namjoon was curious about where they were going, but he was assumed that Himchan would tell him as he lead Namjoon out to the car that was waiting for them, well that meant it wasn’t close enough to walk. Actually that might just not be safe, since it was midday.

The more they drove Namjoon got a little more uncomfortable. He was trying to finish his smoothie even if his mind were telling him not to and Himchan was being almost completely silent as he looked out of the window, even if he was holding Namjoon’s in his lap softly stroking his thumb over Namjoon’s knuckles.

As the car came to a stop Himchan took the cup from his hand. “It’s okay you don’t have to finish it, you did very well already you don’t have to force yourself. Change doesn’t come overnight.”

Namjoon couldn’t get himself to do anything other than just nod as he followed Himchan out of the car, and the sight that greeted him surprised him because it wasn’t actually their surrounding but Youngjae who was waiting for them.

It seemed that Himchan hadn’t expected the other B.a.p member as he looked confused at him. “Youngjae?”

The other beta looked up from his phone. “You are late,” he pouted “very late and it’s cold out here.”

“What are you doing here?” Himchan looked worried.

That made Youngjae walk up to him poking him in the chest. “You are stupid if you think I am letting you do this alone.You should very well know that this could end badly for you. We are pack, we don’t do shit like this alone.”

“Youngjae,” Himchan’s voice was hesitant, and Namjoon was even more confused. He had never heard Youngjae speak to anybody like that, “there is no reason to worry. I am okay. I just want to show Namjoon it is good for him.”

“We don’t know all your triggers yet. I understand that it is important to show Namjoon this and we will… together.”

That was when Namjoon looked around and swallowed heavily… he knew where they were now. Samsung medical center… and especially the ward they were standing outside, psychiatric ward with speciality in eating disorders… They were showing him an anorexia ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the explanation is really really lame...
> 
> Long story short, I almost quit the Kpop fandom...  
> Explanation is in order: on Tumblr there is something called 'the bias tag' it is basically a tag where you post a selfie of your bias and then one similar of yourself, I got tagged in it and decided to do one of both Ravi/Wonshik and Namjoon, since you can't make me choose between them I refuse.  
> I didn't expect anything special out of it, a few likes like I normally get from my tags and that would be it.  
> Instead, a shitstorm started, since the post contained the words 'Ravi' and 'Namjoon' the post was found by people who didn't follow me or knew me, which was where I got two anon messages that really hit home hard for me...   
> One was the classic 'Bts hates white people' and then the second one was 'We don't need more white cracker Starlights' (Starlights are Vixx's fandom)  
> As you can probably guess, I am indeed white, my skin almost can't produce melanin so I am the kind of white that even white people make fun of, and if I don't wear factor 50 sunscreen even in Scandinavia I am going to get burned badly.
> 
> The thing is, I never expected it... I know that there is racial tension around the world, but I live in a liberal country actively taking in refugees and I never had issues with people unless they are actively being a cunt to me, I never expected the hate to be turned towards me.
> 
> For me, since I was very young back when the Potterhead fandom started, fandoms have for me always been a safe place to me, a place that even during the worst of my eating disorder I were safe in fandoms and nobody would make fun of me. I didn't expect compliments on my appearence, but I didn't expect to be told that I weren't welcome in a fandom simply cause of my skin color...
> 
> It made me feel that like I should just leave and it was better for everybody.
> 
> I know this is nothing compared to what some people face, but it still wasn't nice... I ended up coming back cause I love this story and people that read it. I really want to finish it.
> 
> So yeah... That has been why I was slow...
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy the chapter


	56. Actually, I'm a little scared, I'm sorry. Let's not make promises, you never know when tomorrow comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> This chapter deals with in depth discussion of anorexia and eating disorders, if this is not something you can deal with please don't read it. Just skip to the end of the chapter where I will put a quick recap of the chapter so you can know what has happened!
> 
> Also researching this chapter I found out that South Korea only have 3 centers that treat eating disorders and none of them are specialist centers like you find other places. So I made up a center.

Himchan had taken Namjoon’s hand and intertwined their fingers as they walked up to the door leading into the clinic. Youngjae walked a few steps behind them, he wanted to give them their space, but also wanted to make sure that he was there for them if they needed him.

Namjoon knew how it looked before they stepped inside. While at the hospital he had researched where they might send him to get treated. It had been a threat Doctor Choi had used when he ripped out his IV.

It looked a lot more lived in that the pictures showed, which Namjoon choose to see as a good thing. It was bright but not in a childish way, more as a way to show happiness. A male doctor was waiting in the entrance way for them, he was a beta from what Namjoon could smell. He was a short man with a normal build probably in his early 30ths his facial features making it seem like he wasn’t completely korean.

“Mr. Kim and Mr. Kim, it good to see that you could get here.” He looked relieved as he looked down on the papers he was walking with.

Namjoon turned to look confused at Himchan. He had this feeling that there was something he wasn’t getting. Luckily Himchan was quick at filling him in. “I told Doctor Myung that we would meet some of the patients here, they aren’t allowed to leave from here and could use some positive in their life. Plus they agreed to tell us about why they are here, if that is okay with you of course?”

Namjoon was quick to nod at that. He knew that eating disorders could ruin your body, and he agreed with Himchan that people who were here probably needed some positive. Even if it was still weird for him that he counted as that positive thing it was still surprising to Namjoon. Doctor Myung looked even more relieved. “I thought maybe I would tell you a little bit about eating disorders, more specifically anorexia nervosa?”

Both idols nodded, Youngjae now resting a hand on Namjoon’s hip as to show he was still there but not saying something. “Anorexia nervosa, or just anorexia as you guys know it, is as most known is the desire for a thin body with the use of food restriction. Majority of the people suffering will deny that they are thin, count calories if not just stop eating in general.

“We find that anorexia disportionately effects omegas and in lesser degree betas. But recently we have found an increase in the amount of alphas suffering from it. We know it isn’t a natural mental disorder such as with bipolar and adhd and other disorders. Those can be measured on the brain and they are something that you more often than not are born with or born with tendencies towards. Anorexia is much different from a medical and psychological point of view it makes no sense why omegas would suffer so disportionately towards it than the other subgenders.

  
As the subgender that statistically carries the most offspring, it is much more important that they have a healthy weight. Where alpha’s rut can still trigger no matter their weight, omega’s underweight will often not have their heats nor will the be able to produce slick. This means that anorexia is detrimental to an omega. This has left us with 4-5 different causes of anorexia. The media and pressure from photoshopped ads. Professionals and careers like ballet and other stuff that pressure you towards a weight and family and childhood trauma’s. This includes everything from sexual abuse to losing your parent pack, or anything like that. Peer pressure is also a factor. Last but not least fear. With lifestyle illnesses on the rise and things like the american shows about heavily obese people scare especially young people into heavy dieting in fear. In America, Mexico and UK there has been a steep rise in eating disorders by people who lost family pack members to lifestyle illnesses or has seen how bad it can get up close. People like that often struggle with finding the right balance in their life.”

Namjoon tried to keep all the information in his mind. He tried to place both him and Himchan to figure out which one they were, how they ended there. But Himchan just lightly squeezed his hand as to tell him not to worry about it, which maybe Himchan was right in that. It probably wouldn’t lead to anything good for him at that moment. He should focus on what the doctor said.

“What most people don't know is that anorexia and bulimia combined is the most deadly mental disorder today, and we as in hospitals are poorly equipped to deal with the rise. Out of the 3 centers that treat eating disorders we are the only specialist unit that allow long term stays and recovery. Most of the public are fine either ignoring or encouraging it.” Doctor Myung looked a little like he wanted to give up, it was clear that he really cared about his work and he didn’t just do this cause he could.

“The truth is that one third of the people here are going to die here and we can’t do anything to stop it, another third are going to pretend they are getting better and when we have no choice but to release them they will go back to before. Majority of them will either end up here again or in the morgue depending on how good their either pack or family pack is.”

Namjoon was actually glad that Doctor Myung was here. Even if he didn’t know the elder beta, Namjoon knew how big a difference somebody caring could do. A doctor or professional caring about you and taking your problems serious. It was what he himself had found in Doctor Choi, she had clearly cared about him instead of just doing a job.

“Mr Kim, I feel the need to disclose that we had your medical records transferred here when your Doctor was worried that they wouldn’t be able to help you. It seemed you would need more help than they could give. Which means I am personally aware of what happened, and I would not feel right talking to you and not disclosing this fact.” Yeah he liked Doctor Myung.

Namjoon sent him the best half smile he could, still feeling his spirit being weighed down by all the information. “Thank you for telling me, it means a lot to me.”

Doctor Myung smiled at him, his smile kinda reminded Namjoon of Taehyung and he looked a lot younger when he did it. Like he was not carrying the lives of multiple young people on his shoulders who were desperately doing their hardest to not let him save them. “We expect that the rise in alphas getting emitted is due to Korea slowly taking in the western world and their more aggressive view of alphas and how they are supposed to be strong and more… more everything. Alphas are also the subgender most likely to pair calorie restriction with heavy exercise.”

“What about betas?” Namjoon was surprised that he was the one who had to ask that. He had expected either of the actual betas to ask, but it seemed that they didn’t want to make it about them.

The older beta looked like he was thinking for a second before slowly answering. “Betas are more complicated than either of the other subgenders. Since they are the middle ground it depends which side they lead towards, but the factors I mentioned before still stands, for all that matters they stand for alpha’s as well. All stuff like this could be fixed if everybody was forced to learn nutrition and healthy eating from a young age.” Namjoon had to agree to that.

“You will be meeting 5 different patients today, rest I haven’t deemed okay to meet for either of you, since they could be more than a little bit triggering for the two of you. Not to baby either of you, but I am the professional in this case.” Both Namjoon and Himchan nodded agreeing with what he was saying. Namjoon could hardly figure out why he himself had ended up with anorexia so he wasn’t really qualified to call himself a professional.

As the two older idols were lead through the door into the center by Doctor Myung, Youngjae trailed behind them. He could remember this place from when Himchan was getting treatment here. He wasn’t staying here like most patients were, instead he was coming into the center for weigh ins and just consultations.

He still after this long time found the center creepy. Looking into the rooms he found people whose only real issue was that they weren’t eating. Even after this hard and long time with Himchan and now Namjoon he still struggled understanding it. For him the answer was easy… just eat, was it really worth dying to be skinny?

It didn’t matter how much he was called ‘the brain of the group’ he struggled to understand it. He knew that it wasn’t as easy as to just eat. He had seen Himchan break down crying over dinner more than enough times to know that nothing was as easy as that. But… it felt like it should be.

He almost walked into the two taller idols in front of him since he had been in his own mind while they walked. Doctor Myung spoke up easily. “Han Wangho, 17 yet to present, but expected omega has been here for 3 months. He wants to get better, but every time he manages to take a step forward it seems like we are taking two back. He was placed here after he had a anorexia caused seizure and broke two bones. We haven’t measured any brain damage yet, but we are worried that is the next step. He is a big fan of you guys,” he nodded towards Himchan and Youngjae, causing both of them to look surprised. They had expected most of the patients to be BTS fans not BAP fans .

With the mention of brain damage Namjoon could feel a shiver running through him. Doctor Choi had explained all of the side effects to him, and how lucky he had been that he had ‘just’ had a heart attack. That it could have been much worth. It was one of the reasons that he had to take it so slow with dancing, he could easily break a bone since he had shown signs of osteoporosis. Apparently common with anorexia.

As the door opened, Namjoon wasn’t sure what he expected. What he found though was a young looking boy looking even younger than the 17 he was supposed to be. His hair was lightly dyed into a more blondish color, and his features were soft and boyish. He would have been cute if it hadn’t been for how clearly Namjoon could see his collarbones and he looked like the barest wind could pick him up and take him away.

“Wangho-yah?” Doctor Myung called out, making the boy look up from his tablet he had been playing  Hearthstone one. As he dropped his headphones the telltale music Himchan could recognize everywhere. The music both Youngjae and Jongup liked to wake them up with at 2am when they decided that video games were a socially acceptable thing to do in the middle of the night.

The young boy looked surprised and a little shocked at the three idols in front of him, like he couldn’t actually believe what was there. “Doctor Myung?” his voice was hesitant and soft, and to be honest he reminded him a little of Jimin first time Namjoon had meet him. He had the same fluffy hair and soft look. Even if Wangho had more hard edges in his starved state, he still had those big soft eyes. Yeah Wangho clearly needed to be protected from everything and wrapped in a blanket against the world.

“This is Kim Namjoon and Kim Himchan. They hoped to talk with you, if you were up for it.” Seeing Wangho’s eyes light up he wasn’t looking at Himchan or Namjoon, but at Youngjae behind them.

Youngjae hadn’t been prepared for the attention, and he could feel himself half hiding behind the two much taller idols. “I remember!” he smiled at them all. “Hello!”

The all stared for a second at each other, nobody sure how to start a conversation before Himchan decided to speak up. “You are going to injure your hearing if you play the music so loud.” he nodded towards Wangho’s tablet where the sound of DEFEAT was heard as the enemy delivered lethal.

Wangho looked a little shy at that “Yeah… yeah, they won’t let me have a laptop until I get better so I have to play this now.” He shrugged a little, “You had questions for me?”

“Manners.” Doctor Myung mumbled from his position next to Wangho’s bed as he was reading off his medical tablet noting it down.

“I’m sorry,” he looked shy now “you had questions for me Namjoon-nim? Himchan-nim?”

“We would just like to talk with you if it was possible Wanho-ah,” Himchan said in a soft voice as he sat down next to the young boy’s bed “you play a lot.” He nodded towards the tablet on the bed now having gone to black screen.

It seemed to be the right thing to get the younger to talk. “Yeah! I played for NaJin last season! I even got picked up by Rox Tigers this season! But…” he looked sad at that “Coach is the one who put me here after the seizure. Says that I won’t get to play or practice until I’m better.”

Now it made sense why he seemed to like Youngjae best Himchan thought. Since Youngjae had mentioned before that he wanted to be a pro gamer when he was young.

Namjoon looked over Wangho in the bed, he looked so sad. It was clear that he didn’t wanted this, also for Namjoon it didn’t really make sense of Wangho was a pro gamer for him to have anorexia. Didn’t gamers not care about their weight? Namjoon felt that he might have a little bit of a warped view of pro gaming scene. He didn’t really know much about it.

“How did you end up here if you don’t mind me asking?” Namjoon was hesitant to ask, he didn’t want the younger to feel bad. He was clearly just a little squish… Namjoon kinda missed Jimin.

“I don’t know when it started in school I think. When I started playing serious back then I dropped weight cause I didn’t eat that much. Focused all my energy on just getting better. People started complimenting me on how good I was looking. I never had much attention before so it was weird having people call me cute and wanting to spend time with me in school.” he shrugged a little “I like the attention, and when I started on NaJin my hyung’s would always baby me and call me cute. I was the youngest. It was before the rules about how old you had to be to play was put in place. Doctor Myung says it’s because I associate getting attention and being treated well with losing weight and being tiny. My family pack wasn’t abusive or anything like that, and they loved me.. They love me, they are just always so busy. I am the youngest of all my siblings the runt and much younger. They don’t really have time for me.  
Doctor Myung says that my brain associates weight loss with positive reinforcement, that I associates it with good memories. That is why I panic every time I gain weight. I want to be healthy I really do. I want to play, I want to play against SKT… I want to beat Sungu-hyung this year. I want to prove I’m a good jungler.”

Wangho looked frustrated. “I am trying my best I really am. I’m so tired of not getting results.” Doctor Myung was quick at putting his hand on the young boy's frail shoulder. “You know what we talked about. It is a slow process to change how your brain works, but we are going to get there.”

Namjoon felt sorry for Wangho, but he also understood. He wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t have fallen into the same trap as Wangho did. Maybe there was a little bit of it in Namjoon as well. When Namjoon had started to drop the weight the fans had been very positive, or told him to lose more. While maybe there had been Armies who were worried as well, but they hadn’t stuck in Namjoon’s mind. He couldn’t remember them. He could only remember the one who told him to lose more weight.

He tried to smile his kindest smile at Wangho. The same smile he gave Jimin when he had been staring in the mirror to long or when Taehyung were remembering things he clearly didn’t want to. Like he was approaching a wounded animal, he wasn’t sure what to say. Wangho deserved better than this, this cold center, better than his broken bones.

It seemed that Himchan didn’t know what to say either, as he could also see himself in Wangho’s story. Maybe it was good that they had Youngjae with him, who were standing behind Himchan’s chair arms wrapped loosely around him. “I think you are going to look very cute when you gain some weight. Maybe even a little bit more than that, nothing is cuter than puffy healthy cheeks.” He puffed his own cheeks out to show what he meant.

It seemed to be the right thing to say, as Wangho giggled a little at that. “I know. I’m going to do my best. I want to be healthy… I am going to present soon, and I want to be a healthy omega…” he mumbled something that they almost didn’t catch, but Namjoon caught it anyway, ears sensitive from listening to years of small changes in music “for Sungu-hyung.”

“You said he played for SKT right?” Himchan questioned, making sure to keep his voice soft as well. It was clear that he was going with Namjoon’s idea of treating Wangho like a wounded animal.

Surprisingly he spoke up. “Yeah, he changed from Starhorn royal club to SKT if I remember right. They are the favorites to win a third world championship. It’s Blank right?” Wangho nodded eagerly.

“Hyung is an amazing jungler! He is going to do very well with SKT.” It was clear to all three of the idols how much Sungu actually meant to the young patient. But they didn’t press him on it, maybe he himself hadn’t realized it yet.

“What is your ingame name, so we can cheer for you when you get out of here?” Youngjae seemed to have taken control of the conversation, happy that he had joined since both Himchan and Namjoon seemed useless when faced with cute but sad stories.

Wangho blushed a little hesitantly before he answered in English. “Peanut.”

At that Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling, causing Wangho to blush and the other idols to look at him confused like they weren’t getting the point. So Namjoon explained what Wangho had said. “That is cute, since you are short.” Namjoon on purpose used short instead of small since he didn’t want to comment on how Wangho was and make it sound positive. “Wouldn’t you need to gain a bit of weight to live up to that name?” Since peanuts are a hourglass form. Namjoon wriggled his eyebrows in the most over zealous way he could think of in hope of making the boy laugh.

He succeeded as Wangho giggled. “You are right in that.” Doctor Myung at Wangho’s side smiled relieved at the idols, clearly happy with how they were dealing with everything.

They talked a little bit more, ending with Wangho asking if he could have a selfie with the idols which all three agreed on easily. Both Himchan and Namjoon took a few themselves. Namjoon had decided in that moment that he would share these on social media, with of course Wangho’s permission.

They didn’t talk enough about eating disorders in South Korea. Namjoon himself was guilty of that as well having hidden what had happened to him. It was time for it to stop though. He didn’t know if any army was dealing with an eating disorder right at that moment, and he wanted them to know that it was okay to struggle. That it was okay to seek help.

Namjoon didn’t have anything to signal eating disorders, or anything when he was struggling. He didn’t know how bad the side effects could become. Maybe it was his job to make sure that other people knew it.

They ended up leaving the room after all three giving Wangho a hug. Namjoon felt a little scared when he felt how frail the young boy was in his arms. Was that how other people saw him? As they left Youngjae promised that he would be cheering for him, which Namjoon agreed with. If Wangho managed to get out of this center that he had it in him to do anything, even if that meant beating SKT… Not that Namjoon had any idea what that even meant.

Doctor Myung lead them to another room which he stopped in front of turning to the idols. “If it wasn’t because you guys were idols you might still make a good specialist. Thanks for treating Wangho so nice, he is a good kid. He is expected to present in less than a month, and while we are sure he is still too thin to have a heat, we are preparing drugs so we are sure it doesn’t happen. Thanks for giving him positive reinforcements. Most of his friends are esports players as well, and since they are preparing for season start they don’t have amazing time to visit him… but they try.”  

He sighed a little. “Here is Choi Dabin. She is officially not here. But she has agreed to meeting you guys, since she is closer to both of you in reason she is here.”

“Choi Dabin as in that Choi Dabin?” Namjoon questioned clearly the only person knowing who it was.

“Yes the figure skater.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah this is going to be long, I have a lot to say.
> 
> First summary:
> 
> Namjoon and Himchan meets with the doctor running the center, they meet a patient that are in there after getting posetive reinforcement for loosing weight, who now struggle with learning that people won't only like him when he is actively loosing weight (Yes this is actually a thing in real life as well) Then Namjoon decides that it is important for him to be more open with his fans about his eating disorder since it is important for young people to learn how dangerous they are.
> 
> Now for a PSA:  
> If you or anybody you know either struggles from an eating disorder of is seeing the signs of one, please please please get help. There are hundreds of numbers out there for all different countries that you can call for free. And if it is an option in your country please go to a center that helps with eating disorders. ED's kill, it isn't fun. If you are suffering or somebody else is remember they kill and you could already be doing irreversible damage to yourself!
> 
> A note about last chapter:  
> Thank you all so much for how nice you all were to me, it meant so much to me all your kind words. I can't ever explain how much it means to me!
> 
> Now another note:  
> This chapter is very much based around my own experience in an anorexia ward, what Namjoon and Himchan are going through is called shock treatment, it where people in recovery gets shown the sad reality of what they could end up as.  
> What some of the later patients are going to say might sound offensive to some people, but it is going to be realistic and what I have either heard other people say or said myself. You say alot of terrible stuff when you want to keep on starving yourself.
> 
> Doctor Myung in this chapter is based on my own doctor as well, which is the first person who took my eating disorder serious while still treating me as a person. If it wasn't for him I probably wouldn't be a alive today. Doctor who actually care does such a difference.
> 
> Last but not least, Wangho is actually a real person and a pro-gamer, if anybody cares his team Rox tigers went up qualifying for worlds only then to loose in the quarters to no other than SKT. He now plays for SKT and he is actually the most adorable thing that ever happened to esports! Google him if you are curious, such a fluff ball.
> 
> If you are still reading this... Thank you for everything <3  
> Oh also, I have made an progression post which you can click below, that will show you how far along with different chapters I am. That way you know when to expect a chapter!


	57. Why didn't I know, About the weight of sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for people confused about Youngjae's scent! It's not nellike it's Carnation, I just forgot to translate it! Carnation is the Danish word! I'm SORRY!

Namjoon liked figure skating even if he tried to hide it many times. He is a rapper of a hip hop focused group. Saying that he liked figure skating was not something that would be socially accepted, so he like so many other things buried it deep inside him.

When it became night and the rest of BTS was sleeping he would check the results of different tournaments. He would marvel as Yuzuru Hanyu and Kim Yuna broke records. He would be sad as Yuna announced her retirement, then marvel again as newer skaters like Evgenia Medvedeva and Shoma Uno rose and started to place as well.

He cheered for his fellow Koreans and sighed sadly when they failed since after Yuna’s retirement. It seemed that the Korean figure skating organisation no longer wanted to support their skaters, but still expected them to place as well.

And now he got to meet one of the skaters he had been cheering for. It was weird for Namjoon. He had meet so many of his music idols, but it was the first time he was going to meet somebody he had admired outside of music, in a sport he didn’t even feel that he was  allowed to like.

Himchan cocked his head slightly to the side looking at Namjoon. “You know her?”

“She is one of the upcoming skaters from South Korea,” his eyebrows furrowed, “and I guess we shouldn’t be surprised she is here. I am more surprised she is allowed to get treatment.”

Doctor Myung was quick at answering that. “She isn’t here officially. Luckily her family pack stepped in to make sure she was okay. As she will explain herself, her situation is complicated, and I trust none of you to talk about the fact she is here. It is important it doesn’t get out, even if it was her own choose to meet with you.”

They all agreed to it quickly, as idols the understood that some things were important for the public and their companies not to know. When they got into the room Dabin was sitting cross legged on her bed cleaning her skates while looking at what looks to be replays from the last grand prix.

She looked up at from her task and smiled. Her smile was friendly and nice and for a second it was weird to think that she was only 17. The way her body language was that of somebody much older, but then again Namjoon assumed that she probably had a lot more of the world's weight on her since she was a pro athlete. Just like they had as idols. “Hello.”

Sometimes Namjoon kinda amazed himself with how he could go from being a good leader, social onstage and stuff like that, to just being the most socially awkward person the world had seen. Basically his tone was totally off.

Luckily Dabin didn’t seem to care about that or she was as awkward as him as she raised her hand in a wave. The soft smile finding permanency on her soft features. “Hello.” Her voice was just like it was on tv, which yes Namjoon was being creepy he should stop that… he should actually really stop that.

Dabin didn’t look as scarily thin as Wangho had, or Namjoon himself had at first. She was around the same size as Namjoon was now just shorter. It was clear that she was still underweight just not underweight at the level where people would stop and stare in the streets.

Himchan took the chair next to her bed. “Reviewing competition footage?” He was good at making it sound like he actually had any idea what he was talking about.

Dabin nodded. “Since I can’t skate while I am here for a few days I keep to looking at footage while doing ballet in the training area.” She shrugged a little. “Doctor Myung told me why you were here, and I wanted to meet you since I think I get it on a level that some of the other in recovery don’t. I understand that sometimes getting healthy isn’t the best option for your career.”

Then it was Namjoon’s turn to sit down next to her. “But if getting healthy isn’t good for your career why are you here? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I check in here a few times when I feel myself slipping into bad habits. Doctor Myung and the other doctors help me on the right track on to focus on not getting even worse. I know that I can’t end completely healthy as I want, but this way I can keep it somewhere in control. At first it was hard. My family forced me here during off season when I was just 15, but now it has gotten easier to ask for help. In the start it was like asking for help made me weaker, made me less… But now everybody here has taught me that asking for help is actually what makes your stronger.” In that moment Dabin looked many years older than she was supposed to, and what she said… what she said was something that Namjoon wish he had understood years ago.

But she wasn’t done speaking yet. “I spoke to Yuna-Noona and she told me about all her health issues recovering after stepping down from professional skating. I don’t want to be that person, she is only 25. I don’t want to have major health issues from things other than actual injuries from face planting the ice. I don’t want to look at myself at 25, look in the mirror and know that the way I trained and my eating pattern is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Doctor Myung has been very helpful finding a good eating plan for me. While yes we both know it isn’t ideal, but it’s a lot better than the alternative.” She looked seriously at Namjoon.

“I don’t want to step out of line, but two of my sisters are very big fan of your music and look up to you guys a lot. I know I’m not a good role model for them and you guys will probably not have the option to have a perfectly healthy eating habits either, but try. A lot of young kids look up to you,” she looked a little sad at her statement as she looked down at her hands, “and getting help is okay we all need help at times.”

Namjoon felt a little sick to his stomach. He hadn't really thought to much about what impact his eating habits had on his fans. At times he still hard a hard time accepting that people were actually looking up to him. It was a weird thing. He knew that people tried to emulate idols and idol diets, but people had to know that starving yourself was bad right? But then again… he did it himself, and he should really know better shouldn’t he?

He looked over at Himchan that didn’t seem to comfortable either. Both of them really loved their fans they really did, and it was kinda messed up that people would try and do what they did. It seemed that fans had a big impact on both of them. Namjoon had started it because he wanted his fans to be proud of him, to know that he put work into it, that he deserved to be part of BTS. But now he felt bad for doing it because it could hurt his fans, this was all so mess up. His head was so confused.

Namjoon looked seriously at the young figure skater on the bed who also seemed to be a little uncomfortable with how none of them were saying anything.“You are right, I never thought about it like that. This started because I wanted our fans to be proud of me, because I wanted to prove that I was worth being in BTS. But I could be hurting armies because of this.”

Dabin for her had a soft smile on her face. “It hurts realizing that in wanting to be the best you could be, you instead turned out to be the opposite. Then knowing that if you correct it you won't be allowed to.”

She was very much like some idols Namjoon had meet over his time. Forced to grow up way before it was time for her to, it was almost weird to think about the fact that Dabin was only 17 she hadn’t even presented yet and she had figured all this out before Namjoon had. But instead of feeling bad about himself for it, he just felt sad for her. There was a reason that people under 18 were called kids, because they were. They shouldn’t be forced to be adults.

For the rest of the time they just casually talked. Dabin was as her public image showed a very nice a gentle girl. She clearly cared a lot about the people who had said they looked up to her. When they asked her what she hoped for in presentation and if she had any idea for a pack she just shrugged, explained that packs were different in sports than in music. When you were in a group that was very very likely to be the group for the rest of your life in music. But as a sport, even in group sports people's contracts could be sold to another country, she could get an offer to work in another country.

She explained that while affection was easy between people in sports, but everybody knew better than to try for permanent bonds. It was simply to hard. As Namjoon and Himchan stood up to leave Dabin stopped them and for once she looked like the child she was as she asked if she could have a picture with the three idols to show her siblings.

They were all three happy to comply since it was no secret for them that they were there, and Dabin would only show her family it. The quick selfie turned into a series of different increasingly weirder pictures shared between the four of them.

It was nice to hear Dabin laugh, and as they closed the door behind them leaving the young figure skater alone Namjoon turned towards doctor Myung. “Is she going to be okay?”

The doctor was hesitant to answer, but in the end he shrugged. “You probably know that figure skaters are riddled with injuries, but for her eating. It’s getting better as long she keeps caring for herself and have people in her life that cares she is going to be okay. At least that is my medical opinion, I hope you can understand why I choose to have you guys talk to her.”

It was Himchans turn to speak. “I didn’t know she was here while I got treated. You guys might be better at hiding people and secrets than our actual security team.”

Another shrug from the doctor. “It is fairly easy to hide something that the country refuses to admit we have a problem with anorexia. Nobody here especially the gossip mags want to admit that eating disorders are a real thing. There is a reason that we are the only specific center that treat it, which I am aware is a very sad sentence to say. Are you ready to meet some more people?” Doctor Myung’s voice was soft like the man would clearly understand if neither of the idols were ready to go on.

That was when Youngjae made himself aware as he wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s waist as the omega seemed the most shook by what they had seen. “It is okay to say no, we can come back another day or not comeback at all. It is not weakness to admit it is too much, don’t push yourself because you think it is the right thing to do.”

Himchan joined in resting a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder to show his support. The tall beta had a soft smile on his face that Namjoon was sure would match Youngjae’s face that was at the moment hid in Namjoon’s shoulder. He knew that nobody would judge him if he called it quit, if it was too much.

It took him only a moment to think it over before he answered. “I would like to meet the rest of the people here if it’s okay. I’m okay I really am. It has just left me with a lot of things to think about.”

Himchan looked a little hesitant, but then he nodded to show his agreement with Namjoon “if you think that is the best idea.”

For the next two hours they meet a lot of different people from younger than them to older. The one thing they had all in common was that they knew that something was wrong with them. They knew that they had to get better even if they were struggling with finding a way to get better. A Lot of them could tell stories like Wangho’s with struggling to eat and get better even if they knew they had to, that their mind was such a powerful force to hold them back.

Namjoon took selfies with all of them preparing to release them later when he had talked with their social media team since he knew better than to do anything like this without talking to them. He would be lying if he said that looking at young kids no older than 13 lying in beds way too big for the small bodies didn’t make him feel ill to his soul. But  Himchan and him tried their best to be nice and positive even if all the idols really wanted to do was adopt the kids and protect them from the world.

Just as he thought they had met the last person, a female beta a little older than Himchan that was there for the 4th time, but this time she was sure that when she was done she could stay out of center for the longest time.

Doctor Myung had explained to them that it was natural for some people to end up back at the center again. Since if they managed to recover and start eating like a normal person they could easily gain weight at a scary rate since they had completely destroyed their metabolism rate, which could scare them back into an eating disorder. They were told that when people had a set back like that it was important not to make them feel like a failure, but to help them as softly as you could back on the feet. Because if you shamed them, it was more likely that they would suffer in peace instead of seeking help.

Doctor Myung stopped them as they headed towards the exit, hesitating a little before he said what he clearly wanted to say. “I have one more patient that I would like for you guys to meet, but he is different from the rest.”

Namjoon’s brain went to the worst case scenario that he could think of. Half dead from brain damage, in a coma, more dead than alive. Every single possibly worse than the other. “Is he okay?”

Again the doctor seemed hesitant as he nodded. “Yeah he is for now, but we aren’t sure he is going to be for long. He is in denial, he thinks that he is okay, that nothing is wrong and that we are just being insane.”

So the logical part of Namjoon’s brain could understand why it was that Doctor Myung wanted them to meet this guy. Another part of his brain wasn’t sure if he was really ready to accept what he was going to see. He knew that he would be able to mirror himself in this person, even if he didn’t even know anything about him yet.

He wanted to run away like a scared child, he didn’t want to see what he was afraid of to be a mirror image of himself. It really fit well with the saying that the scariest thing in the world was one self. But Namjoon wasn’t a child, he was a grown ass adult. He knew that he couldn’t just hide from the thing he rather not see he had to grab himself by the bootstraps and pull himself up.“I want to meet him if that is okay.”

This time there was no hesitation in Doctor Myung’s voice. “I am happy that you say that.bI didn’t want to force any of you into something that you weren’t ready for, but I also wanted to show you how it sounds when people deny an eating disorder when you look from the outside and in.”

Namjoon could feel a soft hand being placed on his hip as to show him that he wasn’t doing it alone, and he didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Youngjae making himself known as Namjoon was still holding Himchan’s hand in his. Namjoon felt safe with the two betas. At first he hadn’t understood why Youngjae had found it so important that he himself should be there, as he now felt the light tremble in Himchan’s hand no matter how much the older beta was trying to hide it. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from thinking

Youngjae was right in being here. Both Namjoon and Himchan needed his support even if neither was really ready to admit it. It also put it into perspective for Namjoon that there was no real ‘full recovery’ from an either disorder. It seemed to be something he would be struggling with for the rest of his life.

He smiled a little for himself. He was almost sure that if he managed to get a support system like Himchan had, the option wouldn’t be as scary as it did at that moment. He was almost completely sure that he would be able to do it, he didn’t know if that support system would be B.a.p or somebody else. But he hoped no matter who he ended up loving, they would love him despite all his flaws just as much as the rest of B.a.p loved Himchan.

As Doctor Myung showed them towards the room Youngjae stayed closer to them than he had all of the day. While yes the youngest beta had always made sure that his presence was known, he had also given the two older idols a respectful space so they could take in what really happened around them.

Now it was almost like the beta was in protective mode, like he took up the space as sub alpha with both of the real alphas not there. His scent of carnation was strong, but not unpleasant as it meshed with Himchan’s own scent of honeysuckle. Namjoon could smell a light hint of uncertainty in Himchan’s scent. But it wasn’t strong or out of order, and it was clear that he found a certain sense of calmness from Youngjae’s presence there. Betas really were the best if you asked Namjoon.

As the door to the room was opened, Namjoon wasn’t really sure what he had expected. Actually yeah he was sure what he had expected… another omega who would probably be half a head shorter than even Jimin and maybe even much younger as well with frail wrists that looked ready to snap of and dead ass set deep into an almost sunken face.

That was not the sight he was greeted with. It was instead an alpha leaning against a pillow with a scowl on his face. The alpha seemed to be just between Himchan and Namjoon in age his features seemed to hint at his origins being mixed and his height which would make him tower over even Namjoon seemed to support that idea. He was thin there was no way around it, but he wasn’t thin in the same way that Namjoon had seen other people at the center being.

If he was honest, if it wasn’t because he was in a center for eating disorders, he would probably have walked right past this boy… man and not thought about it. To be honest in Namjoon’s mind the man was pretty good looking. He wasn’t idol good looking and the scowl he was wearing did him no favours, but other than that he was good looking without a doubt.

“Hello?” Namjoon was hesitant as he said his hellos, the man looked up from his phone that he was looking at.

The scowl melted of his face as he saw the three idols into an easy smile. “Hello.” His voice was pleasant, but the second he saw Doctor Myung, the scowl was back again showing that he clearly had no pleasant feelings towards the doctor.

Namjoon to be honest felt insulted at that. Doctor Myung seemed like a really good doctor and everybody else in the hospital seemed to agree with Namjoon on that, so what right did this man have to see the doctor like that?

“You really should eat your dinner,” Doctor Myung said with a soft voice as he pointed towards the tray of food standing at the alpha’s side table, “everybody else said it tasted very well.”

Namjoon looked at the food and had to admit it looked good, but he also noted that the food looked to be very calorie light. Probably in a way to make sure that the patients actually would be able to eat it. The man in the bed just shrugged hard eyes still laser focused on the doctor. “I’m not hungry.”

“That is really a shame, I heard you weren’t hungry at breakfast either. You are going to hurt our cook’s feelings very soon which is going to make her very sad. She puts a lot of work into preparing the food for you guys.” Again another shrug from the man.

“Gunho.” Doctor Myung’s voice had a edge to it at that point, and it was the first time that Namjoon heard the friendly doctor sounding like that, but that that point he couldn’t really blame him either, the man… Gunho seemed like an ass.

Namjoon knew he shouldn’t think that. He knew that Gunho was in a toxic mindset and how he was acting probably wasn’t who he was as a real person just something he was projecting to show that he was okay. But that really didn’t make him more likeable.

Gunho changed his glare to a more relaxed normal look at he turned his gaze onto the idols again. “Does he have you guys locked up here against your will as well?”

“This was your packs choice and the hospital agreed with them that you needed help, you are here to get help not to be locked up.” Doctor Myung’s voice had returned to the same voice of soft reassurance that he had used on the other patients.

It was clear for Namjoon that the young Doctor clearly cared for Gunho as well and wanted the man to get better. Even if he was making it as hard as humanly possible. “We are just here to visit and see what happens here.” Himchan’s voice mirrored Namjoon’s in hesitation, it was clear that Himchan didn’t really know what to say either.

“Locking up perfectly healthy people is what is happening here. I get it yeah some of the people here need help, but look at me I’m healthy and I just need to loose a little bit more weight and then it’s fine. Doesn’t everybody want to be a little bit thinner? It’s normal, the doctors here are just crazy seeing disorders in something as normal as dieting.”

Doctor Myung looked… he just looked sad at that moment as he looked at the man in the bed. “We talked about it that starvation is not a diet.”

“I’m not starving myself.” Gunho insisted. “It is just dieting. Tons of people do it, it’s normal and natural.” His tone had a hint of aggression under it and it was clear that it was an argument that the two had had many times before.

Namjoon could feel bile rise in his throat, no he couldn’t do this he thought as he stared at man in the bed. It was simply too much, this was like he was actively watching somebody try to kill themselves and all he could do was watch it. He needed to get out of there.

He almost lost his balance as he stepped a step backwards in an attempt to put distance between him and the alpha in the bed. He didn’t have the low simmering fear of alphas in him that he often had around them, no he had a different kind of fear in him. A fear he couldn’t explain.

Youngjae had placed a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder to help him keep his balance. “You okay?” the words were low only for Namjoon’s ear’s.

Namjoon just shook his head, no he wasn’t okay. He had overestimated himself. “I need to get out of here.”

He would like to say that he left with dignity, but in reality he left with his tail between his legs figuratively. He was leaning against the wall breathing heavily when Youngjae and Himchan joined him only 30 seconds later having said a quick goodbye.

Namjoon’s normally tanned skin was deadly pale as he looked at the two betas. “That could have been me… that was me… Oh god that was me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Insert mandetory excuse for why the chapter is late)
> 
> Jokes aside, this chapter was super hard for me to write, if you are not a person that reads my notes all over the blog, eating disorders are something that I struggle writing in general, but this was especially hard to write, in the end, I ended up scrapping two scenes that were supposed to be in this chapter. One scene with a person suffering from major brain damage from anorexia and then a visit to the morgue with somebody who died of it.
> 
> In the end I decided to delete it since I decided that it was actually too dark for the story!
> 
> But we are now over all the hard eating disorder stuff over the next chapter is going to be smut, fluffy soft omega on omega smut with Daehyun!


	58. I'm content with that I'm content, Forever

While Namjoon originally just wanted to run away and never look back at any kind of hospital, that wasn't what actually ended up happening. Instead they said their goodbyes to Doctor Myung who had smiled kindly at both of the idols reminding them that the doors were always open for them, and that it would be off the records so they would be okay with the media if they weren't ready to share.

Namjoon could appreciate what the Doctor was saying. For so many other people he would have assumed it was just some nice things to say just some PR bullshit that he was forced to say, but both the Doctor's smile and eyes were soft and friendly. Namjoon wasn't for a second in doubt that if he would end up here one day Doctor Myung would do everything in his power that he could to make Namjoon recover.

The thought made Namjoon happy, the people who were in the center needed somebody who cared about them, and he was glad that they had it. He rested a hand over the phone in his pocket it was filled with silly selfies of himself and Himchan with people who all deserved better than the stupid disorder was giving them.

But they didn't go home after them, Youngjae was leading them somewhere else in the hospital and it didn't take Namjoon long to realize where they were. Giant butterflies and other things painted on the walls of the hall they entered. “Children’s hospital?” Namjoon asked a little confused.

Youngjae's smile was big and warm. “Yeah I thought you two could use some happiness in your life, and the kids here don't really care who you are as long as you treat them nicely and play with them. I go here when I need a little time away from being an idol. Their parents have all agreed to not share pictures on social media of it. To be honest I think that they are just happy that somebody tries to bring some happiness into their life and they couldn't care less that we are idols.”

Himchan laughed a little, a soft noises with origins in his chest as he ruffled up Youngjae's hair much to his fellow beta's dismay. “You are actually so soft. Are you sure that you aren't hiding an omega inside you?”

“You can be gentle and a beta,” Youngjae huffed, puffing up his cheeks looking even more adorable even he wasn't trying to, “you can be an alpha and be gentle!”

To that Namjoon nodded as he thought of the alphas he knew. Yeah stereotypes weren't everything that was for sure. While yes Namjoon fell into pretty much a classic omega, he prefered physical contact with people he hated when fighting and always tried his best to solve it so they stopped. Words got to him more easily than he would like to admit and he took others judgement of him harshly. “You can be any way you want to as long as you are you.” Namjoon voice was gentle as well.

That comment ended up with him having his arms filled with a very happy Youngjae. “You are actually the softest person. You know that right! The sweets and softest omega with pretty words!” While before his presentation just a month ago he would have taken it like Youngjae was making fun of him, but instead he felt heat rise to his cheeks not embarrassed, but happy and shy.

He liked being called those soft words, he liked how it made him feel all soft inside. He liked being complimented on his words. “Thank you.” God he felt so shy at that moment, he could remember the first time he had felt that way. It was many many years ago, before he even thought being an idol was an option at that point the words had come from Jiho in the underground. Looking back on it he had probably been too young to take any part in the underground, but Namjoon hadn't cared he had pulled through anyway.

It was the first time he had ever meet Jiho, who at that point was probably to young to be part of it as well, but he had complimented Namjoon's choice of words for his rap. He also told the younger that he needed to work on his delivery, this was rapping not slam poetry.

He should really give Jiho a call shouldn't he. He knew that he would be spending some time with Block B next, but he still felt that he owed his oldest friend more than that.

Youngjae had placed an on purpose wet kiss on Namjoon's cheek at the same time as Himchan blew a raspberry on his other cheek leaving all three half laughing half giggeling in the hallway.Youngja grabbed both the olders hands and lead them into the ward.

The next 2 hours was spent apart as Himchan and Youngjae played with the kids there was still mobile, while Namjoon had taken to holding his own little reading corner for the people who didn't have their mobility. Namjoon wasn't sure what he expected to happen, maybe the nurse yell at them to get out, but instead she just looked happy to see Youngjae pointing him towards a group of kids. Her expression was... sad... there was no other way to put it. The woman was a petite alpha, one of those alpha's who didn't need to tower over you to show that she was in control. Namjoon was sure that the saddened expression on her face wasn't something you commonly saw there.

It was first when they left that Youngjae explained to them that one of the kids he normally played with had passed away. Which was why he took them there, he hadn't originally planned on doing it, but it seemed as if they children could use a little bit of a time off thinking about what had happened and the nurses a breather.

Namjoon liked kids, he really did. He knew that it didn't fit his image as a rapper, but kids were adorable, and these kids even more. They had the world against them, death was part of their daily life and most of the older ones had realized that there was a high chance of them not reaching adulthood. But they weren't bitter like Namjoon was sure he would have been, instead they were optimistic and just seemed to be enjoying the life they had.

Namjoon took a special liking to a very young kid who climbed up into his lap while he was reading. Grabbing a handful of his soft hoody before looking very intensely at his face while Namjoon read outloud for the rest of the kids.

Had an adult stared at him that way Namjoon was sure he would have felt uncomfortable with it, but with the young child he was surprisingly fine with it. Instead he saw it as a compliment. Namjoon read his way through multiple short stories in the story book before it was solved why the young kid had taken such interest in his face a chubby hand reached up to Namjoon's face before poking his cheek. “Hole!” The kid looked confused, and that was when Namjoon realized... his dimples.

He sent the kid the biggest smile he humanly could, dimple to deepening even more causing not only the child in his lap to laugh, but also a few of the kids on the beds around him. “Pretty.” That was a young girl hooked up to a few instruments that were restricting her movements, but she still looked like she hadn't lost the will to live.

So many times when Namjoon saw pictures of people in hospital beds, even when he saw himself in the hospital bed, adults always looked like they had given up like it was all the end. But kids were so different from that, they seemed to always have hope in life, like nothing could really stop them.

And maybe they were right, after all you had to hear the truth from kids and drunk people. Maybe... just maybe he really didn't need to lose more weight. Maybe he was fine the way he was, maybe he didn't need double eyelids or the classic kpop features. Maybe he could be a pretty omega just like this.

When it was time for them to leave Namjoon almost didn't want to. He wanted to stay with the friends he had made... 5 year old friends, but it still counted, he didn't seem to be the only one as the two other idols also looked sad that it was time to leave, but not the sad they had when the left the eating disorder center.

Himchan looked over at Youngjae as they walked out to the car waiting for them. “You know if you ever want company coming here, then you can always ask us. Not just me. I'm sure everybody else would be happy to come with you, maybe not Junhong though.” At that Youngjae giggled causing Namjoon to look questioning at the two. He never thought that Junhong had something against children.

“It isn't that he doesn't like them,” Youngjae explained with a shrug as he more or less manhandled Himchan to sit in the way he wanted him to as he took the middle seat in the car leaving the two older idols on either side of him, “he is afraid of them. Or more afraid of what he could do to them. Our baby still hasn't grown into how big he really is, and sometimes he is afraid that he might actually snap a child or drop it.” A giggle from the alpha as he placed himself with his upper body resting on Himchan. His lower legs over Namjoon's thighs giving him a chance to pet the ankle left bare by the fact that Youngjae didn't seem to realize that he needed longer pants.

“Aww that is kinda sad,” Namjoon mumbled, then again he could understand Junhong he himself. Sometimes felt that he had no control over his limbs and he was nowhere as tall as Junhong who seemed to tower over most people, “doesn't he want to have kids then?”

Now that Namjoon thought about it, at least the hyung line of B.a.p was at the age to start thinking about how kids. They had to at least thought about it. Youngjae just shrugged though like he had never thought about it before, but Himchan blushed showing that he had clearly done it.

Unlucky for the oldest beta his pack member noticed it. “Oh my god really? Have you three talked about it!? Oh my god tell me! What did you think about!? Who do you want to carry it!?” Youngjae seemed eager to know everything and Namjoon could see the moment that Himchan realized that he wasn’t getting out of talking about it. Namjoon could see how his entire body sighed.

The oldest seemed a little shy at first. “Yeah... since we are getting older we have talked about it. We discussed how it's probably better than neither me nor Junhong tries to carry. You know how to doctor says that betas already have a hard time getting pregnant and I will struggle even more with my eating disorder. Junhong could get hurt since he doesn't have a good build to carry. If he really wants to we are not going to stop him of course, but we think that for his health that it is probably better he doesn’t. That leaves you and Daehyun.”

“Dae,” Youngjae quickly answered, “Dae should carry.” The youngest didn't look sad over it, he just looked eager. “He is going to look so cute with his stomach all round! Think about it a tiny baby with Daehyun's skin and Gukkie's build. Or Dae's eyes and your bone structure! Or! A giant child like Junhong with gorgeous tan! Or a Jongup baby!”

Himchan smiled softly at the eager beta, before he said something that didn't leave Namjoon’s mind for a long time. “Or an adorable baby with Namjoon's dimples.” oh...

It was easy to forget sometimes, since he many times just felt like he was a guest, but there was a real chance that the B.a.p pack would be his future. That yes he would have a chance of having a tiny baby with them. While yes he himself would struggle with carrying a child to term, the other options kinda made him smile. And while he didn't say anything about the idea, the soft smile he was carrying was sign enough for the other two to understand what was going through Namjoon's mind.

The rest of the evening went on pretty well. Namjoon already knew that the rest of B.a.p knew where they had went and while there at first was a little bit of a tension in the air it was quickly stilled as he eagerly told Jongup that they had meet a professional gamer. Yeah Youngjae still had admiration for pro gamers, after all it was his dream to be one for a while.

Dinner went better than it had done since Namjoon had first gotten there. Namjoon ate almost everything on his plate himself (okay so it was a smaller plate than the rest of them was using, but that wasn't important! It was progression.) and he spent the rest of the evening with Yongguk writing lyrics. Since the hospital had given him more inspiration than he would like to admit.

As they went to bed Namjoon finds himself being cuddled up by Himchan and Youngjae the older whispering question if it was okay or if he prefered one of the alphas, but Namjoon just shook his head. It seemed that his inner omega had settled a lot and to be honest he was glad that it was the two of them. He felt safe with them at that moment, he could now understand what people meant with how important betas were. They were like balance.

It took a little fiddling around until they found a good way to lay, and instead it ended up with Youngjae cuddled between the to much taller idols. Not that the beta seemed to mind as he teased Namjoon with a soft bite to his collarbones as he bored one of his legs between Namjoon to be more comfortable. “What about Jongup?” Mumbled Namjoon fighting to keep his eyes open, he knew that the two had been intertwined all the time he had been there.

Youngjae's laugh was tired as well and low. “I think he is being wrestled around by our dear pack alpha. Alpha on alpha is hot though, they better not be fucking around or I will get mad for them not letting me watch, ever got to watch alpha on alpha with Got7?” Youngjae on purpose left out BTS, since he wasn't sure that the alpha on alpha happening in BTS was... yeah let's leave it at that Youngjae didn't want to think about it. He didn't have the time to feel sorry for BTS his focus was Namjoon and the more he thought about all of BTS he felt that he kinda wanted to adopt the three non alphas especially Seokjin.

Youngjae knew how age in beta's could easily get them to feel that they should have control over everything and didn't need to seek help. Himchan had done the same acted like he should be able to do everything alone. He couldn't imagine how Seokjin must have felt. Since he was the oldest after all Himchan at least had Yongguk older than him.

Youngjae felt a little uncomfortable thinking about BTS. He like so many other kpop idols felt like he should have done something. You know that feeling of knowing somebody who is clearly spiralling out of control, but you don't say something because you don't feel it is your place? And then they end up murdering three prostitutes while high on acid and you kinda feel like it's your fault? Yeah that was how Youngjae had felt. Having only really been semi close with Namjoon and Taehyung he felt like he couldn't do or say anything. Neither of the BTS members would ever really let on how bad things were, and most of the things he knew he had overheard from Seventeen because god bless Seventeen.

Namjoon didn't answer Youngjae's question as the days activities seemed to have knocked him out as he was already sleeping, leaving Youngjae alone with his thought. Maybe Namjoon's heart attack as bad as it sounded was the best thing that could have happened to BTS. He had talked to Hongbin (because people addicted to games had to stick together) about how Jungkook was doing. While Youngjae was sure that there was a lot of things Hongbin wasn't telling him he had been told enough to know just how fucked Jungkook had been. He felt kinda bad for how much he had hated Jungkook when Namjoon was first in the hospital and how he had treated Taehyung. It was hard to realize that the people you disliked so much might be a victim as well. God BTS was fucked over, the last thought on Youngjae's mind as he gave himself over to sleep was 'At least Taehyung is okay, he is safe with Seventeen.' What Youngjae didn't know was that in the same night Taehyung and Joshua were having an aggressive yelling battle at each other. Scaring the life out of the rest of Seventeen as words none to kind were slung between the two betas while Jihoon was trying to separate them without success. Because he could be just as much of a pack alpha he wanted, but both betas still towered over him and he didn't have it in him to try to order either of them.

Maybe he should have done so, maybe it would have resulted on Taehyung accusing all of them of not caring about him before pulling a classic Taehyung running away into the run in the middle of the night. Leaving a heartbroken pack behind and Joshua standing shellshock on the ground wondering how a simple comment lead to this... because he cared so much... so much... fuck he loved Taehyung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know that I promised smut in this chapter, but I promise it will come in the next chapter! But I kinda got caught up with the storyline I was running with! Next chapter it come!
> 
> Also I'm currently home with my very homophobic racist parents, and I'm not sure if they appreciet me writing gay smut about a set of Korean kpop boys XD
> 
> Also my one year anniversary as a kpop writing is coming up! Does any of you have any idea of what to do?


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn't the smut your expected or deserved, but it was the best I could... I'm sorry

Namjoon had started to make a normalcy with B.a.p, something that made him happy. It wasn't before he had sat down with Seokjin for lunch one evening (that the older had made for them) that he had realized just how important it was.

Seokjin was without a doubt the person who was most supportive of Namjoon being courted by everybody else. He seemed to be very invested in Namjoon happiness, but at the same time he was also the best at treating Namjoon like nothing had changed another thing that made Namjoon happy.

The older eagerly told about his time with the TVXQ members, leaving Namjoon smiling a soft smile as he rested his head on his arms while looking at his hyung. While it was clear that there was no magical waving of wand to fix all of Seokjin's issues it was also clear that he was slowly getting better and it was positively affecting his relationship with BTS as well.

There was sometimes when he looked at Taehyung and Seventeen, or he looked at Jimin and Exo (that one he kinda felt bad about, since he felt very much like he was waving an omega in front of them knowing that they couldn't have him no matter how much they wanted somebody like Jimin and needed him) he was worried that he had made the wrong choices as a leader. That he had pushed the pack apart instead of healing it.

The thing was that Namjoon knew Seventeen's feelings for Taehyung and he knew that Seokjin did as well, but he also knew that Taehyung was never going to notice it. He was never going to find it out unless told to him and nobody was going to.

But then he looked at Seokjin, at Hoseok and Jungkook saw the healing all of them was going through and how their healing was helping them become closer to their pack and strengthening their bonds. He hoped that he had made the right choice.

“Namjoon?” Seokjin looked at their leader with his head slightly cocked to the side “are you listening to me.”

A blush spread over Namjoon's cheeks, but he smiled flashing his dimples at Seokjin, making Seokjin smile as well. He was almost sure that Namjoon could get out of anything with those, it was good seeing him smile again. “I'm sorry, I was a little distracted. Do you know why Taehyung wasn't at dance practice today? I asked our manager, but he said that everything was okay and not to worry about it.”

“Maybe he finally got tired of seeing you pretending to dance,” Namjoon pouted, but Seokjin just laughed “if manager says he is okay he is okay. But if you are worried we can call Woozi?”

Namjoon shook his head. “The reason for all of this is that I want him to find himself. To show him that I trust him and we don't need to babysit him all the time. I think we treat the maknae line to much like babies sometimes. Especially in a pack it is important that you are all equal, to show that we respect them as people...” he looked at Seokjin who was still just smiling at him “which you know. Which is why you suggested it just so I had this little speech.”

Another pout from the BTS leader which caused Seokjin to laugh a little before holding a mouthful of rice up to his mouth. “Taste this. Jaejoong and I made this using a recipe we found online.” Namjoon dutifully opened his mouth accepting the food.

He still struggled eating anything with fat or to much sugar in it, his body still struggled accepting it, not just from a mental perspective. But as Doctor Choi had warned him, his body wasn't used to eating things like it and would reject it refusing to accept it was food.

When he had told Seokjin the older beta had made it his mission to make more healthy food that was a little more bland that Namjoon could eat. Which was what lead to their lunch dates every time they both had practice. It felt so much like before everything had went to shit.

“It's good, now tell me why you really called me here and asked me to take an extra 30 minutes to eat.” Namjoon couldn't stop himself from putting his hand over Seokjin's at the table when the older had put his chopsticks down.

Seokjin hesitated a second. “I am worried that you are thinking of yourself as a guest with packs instead of being courted. That you aren't focused on seeing how an everyday normalcy is with the pack. I am worried that you still think you have to pick us.” He turned his hand around so they could intertwine their fingers with each other. “Don't see as a rude thing please. I just worry about you since you care so much about us.”

At first Namjoon wanted to disagree with what was being said, he wanted to protest. It felt like it was going against his idea of acting more like he was responsible for his own life and not just... going along with things. But... maybe Seokjin was right, he hadn't even unpacked his clothes from his bag, and he still called BTS his pack... he wasn't really giving anybody a chance. His life still revolved around BTS instead of around himself. “Shouldn't you be happy about it?” Did BTS not actually want him as their packmate? As their omega shouldn't they... shouldn't Seokjin be happy about it?

But Seokjin just shook his head. “At first yeah I was happy, but I have realized something recently. We don't own you, you don't owe us anything. You owe yourself everything though. I want you to be happy. I want you to give yourself a chance to find happiness where it is, if it's with us we will all love you but if it isn't we will all still love and support you. But I also know you. Unless somebody and many times more than one person forces you to prioritize yourself, you don't do it. Since we started as idols, since you didn't present at 18 you stopped caring about yourself and put us, especially the maknae line in front of everybody.”

“So did you.” Namjoon tried to argue, he didn't like the idea that he had given up more than the rest of BTS cause it wasn't right. He had just done what anybody in his position would do.

Seokjin shrugged. “I did. We all did. But I am working on being better as well, to accept that I am important as well. That we both are. That we deserve to be happy. It's hard sometimes and I already have my pack,” he raised their intertwined fingers and kissed the top of Namjoon's hand, “I know we haven't been good at showing. I know I haven't been good at showing it, but we really care about you. “

“Everything was going terrible, I don't blame any of you for what happened. You all had issues as well and you didn't try to hurt me. It isn't you guys fault, I promise.” Seokjin wanted to argue at first. Jungkook had brought it up to him as well, how Namjoon seemed to blame himself instead of who was really to blame, but he also knew that it wasn't the time to argue it at that point. It would be more likely to end in an argument, and Seokjin didn't want to argue with him.

Even if he had gotten better, he still couldn't do confrontations, and he didn't like to talk bad about his own pack. He had talked to Yoongi only a few days before and he decided that it was better for Namjoon and Yoongi to talk everything over when they got to Japan. Maybe it was better for both of them to heal over time, at least he hoped that. God he hoped that. Why was making decisions that could have massive impact so hard? How did Namjoon do it all the time?

They said goodbye, Seokjin heading to record for his solo song and Namjoon heading home finding that he wrote better there than in the studio filled with people constantly looking him over the shoulder. Plus he wanted to work on the song he had promised for their resident bunny.

He was the first person back in the B.a.p dorm. It made him smile and then think back on the time with Seokjin, yeah it was time to stop being a guest. He grabbed both of his bags with clothes and went to the part of the closet that they had cleared for him. He put on some of the newest Big Bang album enjoying Zutter while he started putting away his clothes and other stuff he carried with him.

He couldn't stop himself from sending a picture of himself cleaning and putting things in the right order in the bathroom to Seungri with the caption 'Zutter is my new cleaning song', which earned him a giant sticker of a grinning panda. Because yes Seungri had recently found a collection of panda stickers that he now used instead of words.

Laugh a little at the older idols antics he hadn't noticed that somebody had gotten him and he almost jumped in surprise when a pair of arms wrapped around his stomach and the sugary scent of marshmallows spread around him causing him to smile as he felt a soft kiss on the back of his neck.“You are home early Daehyun.”

“So are you. Finally decided to unpack I see.” Which was surprising that Daehyun could see since he couldn't look over Namjoon's shoulder. He was to short for that instead seemed happy taking in Namjoon’s scent through his shoulder.

“Yeah it seemed like it was about time. You don't mind do you?” Had he overstepped?

Daehyun’s laugh was muffled a little by Namjoon's shoulder. “We almost did it for you, but half your clothes don't actually look like clothes so we weren't sure how to do it.”

That left Namjoon pouting. “It is fashion!”

“Overalls are not fashion.”

“Yes they are!”

Daehyun didn't answer he just laughed finally unwrapping his arms from around Namjoon’s middle raising up on his toes to kiss the other omega's cheek. “I am glad you are here actually. I wanted to talk to you alone.”

Namjoon looked a little bit confused at the omega. “Did I do something wrong?” Oh god. “I'm sorry! I am still new to being an omega, I didn't mean to hurt someone or do something wrong!”

That was not what Daehyun had expected. “Nononono! Namjoon please that was not what I meant. You haven't done anything you are a good omega, but it was about you being an omega. Since you presented so late you never had the chance to do normal omega things.”

“Like what?” Was there a rulebook for being an omega that nobody had ever given Namjoon? Like the secret book of how to put on eyeliner on yourself without looking like an idiot that was somehow also being hidden from Namjoon.

Daehyun looked a little awkward when he shifted his weight from foot to foot like he wasn't sure how to say what he wanted. “You never had time to find yourself, to explore what you like. Many times newly presented omegas will explore and find stuff together, but I don't think you have ever been with an omega alone.”

“Been with like... like sex?” Namjoon blushed, oh my god why was he blushing? HE HAD RAPPED ABOUT SEX BEFORE!? He had sex! He shouldn't be blushing! BE GONE BLUSH!

Daehyun blushed as well something he wasn't proud about either. Since he had no reason to either! They were adults! Adults having adult talks, it was something completely normal! “Yeah.”

10 points for Daehyun... not.

“I have been with Junhong, in the hospital!” Namjoon didn't know why he felt the need to defend his honor there. He just didn't want to come off like a virgin, not that there was something wrong with virgins!

Daehyun's facial expression changed almost 10 times in a few seconds, until he just sighed. “Of course you have, because Junhong makes his own rules after we told him to do something else.”  Then he just shook his head laughing a little. “We should have expected it, this is partially on us, but I wasn’t trying to insult you. I wanted to offer you something.”

That got Namjoon attention as he looked at Daehyun. It was clear by the older omega’s body language that he was feeling slightly awkward about it. “Oh?” He didn’t want to push Daehyun.

“If you wanted to try out… stuff, find out what you actually like I don’t know maybe... take some time just being an omega without getting bossed around by an alpha.”

“So you wanna have sex?” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little at that. Nobody had yet to bring up sex like this with him.

The be honest he hadn’t really had any sex at all with B.a.p if you didn’t count that time in the hospital with Junhong. There had been a lot of kisses, hugs and cuddles. Plus one very intense snog session with Yongguk in the studio. (It might have ended with both of them out of breath and Namjoon on Yongguk’s lap. Only to be caught by a producer, who luckily laughed it off as ‘kids being kids’ which yes was weird since Yongguk at least was too old to be a kid.)

“I was going for experimenting, but yeah I guess… sex.” Daehyun had a dark blush over his cheeks clearly shy over the way he was asking.

Namjoon just smiled at him. Like he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t find Daehyun attractive, even for an idol Daehyun was attractive. Yes he wasn’t the picture perfect idol visual that people seem to love, but he was his own person. His more heavy set eyes and dark skin made him look more unique in an industry that favored copy paste plastic surgery. He was attracted to Daehyun, and the thought of being with him that way did start a fire low in his stomach. The other omega was also offering him something he hadn’t known he had missed. The chance of maybe figuring out what he liked.

Since he had presented late everybody else seemed to have so much more experience than him with… everything, and he always seemed to be playing catch up. What Daehyun was offering him was a solution to that, also it did help him figure out if he had sexual chemistry with the older omega. Since if he was to join B.a.p that would probably be important.

“I would like that.” That made Daehyun relax and smile, like he had expected Namjoon to say no? Had he ever looked at himself in the mirror? Like Namjoon was going to say no to that?

“Really, god can we never do the long silence again? You got me worried that I had overstepped or something like that.” His laugh was soft, but nice as he pulled Namjoon into a hug. Maybe with other people thought it would be weird, since they basically agreed to have sex and the logical answer would be a kiss or anything like that. But a soft hug fit Daehyun, and Namjoon liked hugs.

He liked the feeling of Daehyun’s short but slightly cold body against his own, and he did get his kiss kinda. It was a shy peck placed on his cheek, but for Namjoon that still counted as a kiss!

After that they didn’t just go and fuck like bunnies, it was like they both knew that it wasn’t the right time and they didn’t have to think about it. They ended up mainly making a mess in the kitchen while trying to make some kind of food for the rest of BAP soon to arrive home, In Daehyun’s defense he wasn’t actually as much of a mess as Namjoon was but Namjoon’s ability to half blow up a kitchen when cooking trumped almost everything.

They did kinda end up with an edible meal, and all of BAP at least pretended that it was edible. It was nice of them, even if Namjoon knew the truth. When they all went to sleep that night it was with Daehyun and Namjoon cuddled up together with Junhong after 30 seconds climbing in between them because apparently ‘he refused to not be part of an omega cuddle puddle, that it was simply just rude without him’.

For other people it would probably have seemed like Junhong was being a brat or rude, but Daehyun and Namjoon just smiled as the cuddled around the way to tall omega. All three soft omega scents mixed together into one big relaxing thing that Namjoon fell asleep happily surrounded by. He fell asleep so fast that he didn’t hear Junhong speaking up. “Silly cooing alpha’s stop thinking with your dick… even if it’s a pretty dick.” Well Junhong was always gonna be Junhong.

One day past and both Daehyun and Namjoon had the day off/ Well Namjoon technically didn’t but after almost fainting at the studio because his body was still actively against him. He was nicely told he could write at home unless he wanted to be permanently benched. Which he was pretty sure was an empty threat, but god knows he wasn’t taking the chance.

They hadn’t told the rest of B.a.p about their talk, but it seemed like everybody knew something was going on. Which wasn’t hard to since every time the two omega’s looked at each other they would start to giggle and they couldn’t seem to keep their hands of each other. Even if it wasn’t in a sexual way the two omega’s just wanted to touch each other while waiting for everybody else to leave, just wanted to stay in contact.

And then the last person left, which was Jongup who didn’t seem to want to leave but had to because was dragged out by Himchan, with the comment of ‘give them some space, god you are being creepy. Silly alpha’s.’ Which did explain why Jongup was staring at them like he was ready to eat them.

Namjoon who was trying to eat a bowl of cereal while not spitting all of it out laughing, didn’t get to actually finish his food as it was taken from him with soft hands and the spoon he had been holding to his mouth was replaced with soft lips that definitely remembered to use chapstick. Something Namjoon… did not.

When their lips parted Daehyun was there right in front of him, stolen bowl of almost eaten cereal in hands. “Taste like milk, and sad healthy cereal.”

“Well… you would be worried if it didn’t.” Namjoon gave the older a quick peck again “Do you think they knew?”

“Well Youngjae half dragged Junhong to practice… so yeah I’m pretty sure they did.” Daehyun the cheeky fucker ate the last spoonful of the soggy cereal “So yeah that tasted as bad as I expected.”

A few more giggles and kisses was shared between them in the kitchen, before playful pecks and slight nips of lips started to heat up between them. It seemed that for all that they had kept it pretty chill the night before, that was no longer the case and they soon found themselves in the nest surrounded by the lingering scents of the rest of the pack members scents.

Both were half laughing and giggling as they almost took turns in pressing the other into the soft bed under them. Kisses turning french as tongues wrapped around each as the room heated up, hands got frisky and grabbed at asses thighs and everything else they could over clothes.

Starting with Daehyun’s smaller body pushing Namjoon into a pillow while teasingly nipping at his full lower lip forcing a soft moan from the younger omega, only for a few seconds later to be Namjoon on top eagerly licking into Daehyun’s mouth.

They rolled around like that until both of them felt overheated still wearing their clothes and were desperate to touch the skin under them. Daehyun who had now found a perch on top of Namjoon’s lap was the first one to pull away and throw his shirt somewhere else in the room, fiddling a bit with the bottom of Namjoon’s shirt. “Can I take it off?” He seemed hesitant, and it was the first time that an inch of seriousness came into their conversation. “You don’t have to.”

Namjoon just shook his head, he knew that being uncomfortable with your body and not wanting to show it was a common side effect of anorexia, but it was luckily a side effect that he had never had to suffer through. While he many times wish he could be more skinny or look like Jimin, he had been comfortable enough to take his shirt off. He knew that he should see it as a small miracle.

He guided Daehyun’s hands in taking his shirt off giving the older a smile. Its fine, promise.”

Daehyun bless his soul choose to trust Namjoon and threw the other omega’s shirt on the ground to join his own, and then he did something weird. He placed his hand flat on Namjoon’s chest, not holding him down but looking with his head lightly cooked as if he was thinking about something. “You almost match me.”

The comment was said with a light smile and a soft tone and as Namjoon looked at Daehyun’s hand at the place where their bare skin meet he understood what he meant. They really did match each other very well. While yes Daehyun was a little bit darker than Namjoon was, there wasn’t the big difference it was kinda nice.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from rolling to the side ending with Namjoon now be the one on top between Daehyun’s spread thighs. “We are pretty.” Not something he ever thought he would feel good about saying about himself, and maybe 24 hours later he would feel terrible about it, but at that moment… sharing that moment with Daehyun, it felt right… Omega’s were pretty right? And he was an omega now! Right?

Daehyun just laughed as he wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s neck with a smile. “No we are hot.” He didn’t give Namjoon time to answer as he pulled him down into a heated kiss, and the heat between them and the butterflies and Namjoon’s stomach easily made themselves known again.

Compared to many other kisses like this that Namjoon had shared with other idols. Instead of going with the idea of slowly turning Namjoon into a pile of very turned on goo, Daehyun seemed to let Namjoon control what was going on he would lightly tease Namjoon with smile bites to his lips, but mostly he would let Namjoon control the show and when the younger was lost guide him on his way.

A little more rolling around in the bed and making out until Namjoon no longer could hold back the little moans caused by their hips grinding into each other, and from his position between Daehyun’s thighs he looked down at the older slightly out of breath. “I…” he wasn’t sure what to say from there, he wanted more, but not sure how to ask for it.

“What do you want, what do you like? Is there something you want to try?” There was one thing… he bit his lip looking down at Daehyun hesitantly.

“Can I eat you out?” He needed to know if it was just Mark who had a magical ass or if it was an omega trait.

Daehyun looked at him with big eyes before he then started giggling. “That is so leader of you. You have an option to just be the person lying back and calling the shots, but no you wanna be a giver.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing. “I… I wanted to know if all omega’s tasted good.”

Daehyun just shrugged. “It depends. Slick is what you are talking about and it is meant to turn on and get betas and alphas in the mood to pop some babies in you. With omegas it's different since while yes we can plop some babies in each other, it’s going to take a shit ton of luck and a lot of tries but possible. Some omegas like it, some omegas… Junhong… has an obsession with it. And some omegas it doesn’t really get to. I like omegas very well… But I don’t take pleasure in eating them out, at least not more than I do alphas and betas. You are lucky.” The last part of his sentence was teasing and it was delivered with a slight nip to Namjoon’s lower lip. “But I am more than happy to let you go to town on my ass, in anyway you see fit.”

Namjoon laughed pushing Daehyun back into the soft pillows beneath him to kiss him, before he started trying to wiggle of Daehyun’s soft sleep pants. It did take a few tries until he finally managed to get Daehyun naked, mostly because the older kept teasing him by running hands over his overheated body and it turned out Namjoon had shit focus when he was turned on.

When he finally managed to get them off Daehyun he took a second to look at the body beneath him. Daehyun’s omega scent was going on full force mixed with the scent of arousal and Namjoon could see how a little bit of slick was already trailing down his thigh. Daehyun made a move to get on all fours, but Namjoon stopped him. “Like this.” He helped Dahyun place his legs over Namjoon’s shoulders giving the younger’s mouth watering look at his ass and the strong smell of slick was no longer masked.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from being a tease though. Remembering all the bites that Daehyun had placed on his lips he then lightly nipped at Daehyun then exposed cheek getting a surprising moan from the other omega… oh so that was a thing Daehyun was into… it was always the innocent and sweet ones?

Holding Daehyun’s legs on his shoulder he had a free view of Daehyun’s exposed backside and could see the slick escaping from his entrance Namjoon lapping it up tasting the sweet taste that was so clearly omega and nothing else.

Daehyun’s moans had turned a lot more breathy and whiny. Namjoon could feel him wiggling a little like he wasn’t happy with the teasing he was receiving, and Namjoon took mercy on him diving in for real focusing on opening the older up with his tongue, trying to remember all the different things that had made Mark go crazy.

He started out slowly, only using the tip of his tongue to tease around the edge and just dipping the tip in. Namjoon marvels in the feeling of Daehyun’s thighs tightening around his head and the high throated moans escaping from him.

When Namjoon was happy with how he had teased Daehyun open and with how he could feel the other relax, he started fucking him open with his tongue for real introducing his fingers as well focusing on the responses that the other omega was giving him. Daehyun was a vocal partner there was no doubt about it.

He was eager and happy to tell Namjoon what felt good, and when he noticed that Namjoon seemed to get extra eager after he put his hands in the younger's hair he was more than happy to give it a few extra tugs than he normally would.

With Namjoon working two fingers inside him doing his best to nail his prostate with his fingers while teasing him with his tongue. Namjoon wasn’t even sure how long time they had been like that. He felt lost in time with the taste of Daehyun on his tongue and the sound of his moans and whines in his ears.

He was so focused on his job that he didn’t even notice… or maybe he just didn’t know… all the signs that Daehyun was dangerously close. He just kept going, driving Daehyun insane until it was all over and Daehyun came with throaty moan.

Namjoon looked up surprised, tongue and lips a little sore for how long he had been eagerly eating out the other omega. His eyes were peeled open in an almost adorable way as he looked at Daehyun. “You came… Without me touching you.”

Daehyun looked worn out and was breathing heavily as he just laughed breathlessly. “If you didn’t touch me I am worried about what it was then that was just in my ass.”

“I mean I didn’t touch your…” How was he so shy about this? What the hell?

“Dick?” Daehyun assisted when Namjoon stopped half way through his sentence awkwardly.

“Yeah.”

The older just shrugged. “It’s pretty normal, we are omegas.” He smiled then, “Sex from a biological point of view is to make us have kids, if we didn’t enjoy and love things up our ass why would it make humans who didn’t know how real pregnancy works do it? That is also the reason that we have smaller dicks.” He just shrugged and then smiled wickedly. “Can I do you now?”

And Daehyun did, a few times over as the two omega’s spent hours exploring each others bodies and just have fun with each other. During that day Namjoon learned many things about his own body and enjoyed everything he learned about Daehyun’s. He learned that he himself was a screamer, he learned that omegas might have small dicks, but it was still enough to make Namjoon scream.

When the rest of B.A.P came home they found the two omegas asleep still naked freshly showered and wrapped around each other, and it left the rest of the pack members smiling at the door before Junhong was quick at joining the two omegas undressing as he entered the room always down for some naked cuddling!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know... I am super fucking late, but I just struggled with this chapter so much and I don't know why, and when I almost had it done I lost the entire chapter cause of my google docs decided to say fuck me... Which was fun.
> 
> Other than that a little bit of a life update, I had my birthday! Which was fun I am 23 and I am starting uni again in 2 days so that will be weird. I had a minor setback with my eating disorder since I went back home, my mother makes very very greasy food and my normally vegan body simply couldn't hold it down. I had insane stomach cramps and diarrhea for over a week which coursed me to not really eat anything and then suddenly you realize 3 weeks has gone by and you sat down twice for a full meal. But I am okay now, I contacted my doctor and got the help I needed ^^
> 
> Thank everybody who are somehow still with me after this long wait and a terrible af chapter. >.<
> 
> OH! And realeased another side story, this time with a happy Seokjin before everything went down! Which is basically just a lot of Seokjin Loving!


	60. Our memories that I secretly put in my drawer, I take them out again and reminisce by myself

Daehyun and Namjoon were woken up by the smell of fresh food drifting through the dorm, and proceed with getting more or less… cuddled half to death by everybody the rest of the evening. Namjoon didn’t think that there was one moment that somebody didn’t have their hands on him. Whether it was overly eager Junhong who liked to bury his head in Namjoon’s shoulder where he could still smell Daehyun.

Yongguk who seemed happy having Namjoon on his lap, no matter how much Namjoon protested that he was too tall for that, that did quickly get shot down though. When Junhong plopped himself down into the much much shorter Jongup to prove that size didn't matter!

Namjoon got to laugh and have fun with the rest of BAP, they all seemed tired the rest from practice and Daehyun and Namjoon from their sexcapades.

They all went to bed early and for the first time they were all huddled up together in one big cuddle puddle with the three omegas in the middle.

It all seemed so nice and soft, it was like the world was finally giving Namjoon a break. But he should really know that Namjoon was never really that lucky was he? It was almost like somebody’s force was against him.

He woke up halfway through the night feeling dehydrated. He really wanted to ignore it since he was comfortable, but he also knew that he would wake up with a giant headache and he simply didn’t want to deal with that.

Namjoon didn’t end up finding water in the kitchen. Instead he found a sobbing Junhong shoving one hand over his mouth and nose trying to stop the sounds escaping him the other almost desperately pushing into the bite high on his neck.

Namjoon stopped awkwardly in the entrance to the door, not sure what he was suppose to do. And as his eyes adjusted to the light he noticed something that had probably been happening for a while, but the change had been so slow that the gradual change had not been observable by somebody who saw Junhong everyday like Namjoon did. His bite had faded so much that if Namjoon saw it he would believe that it was just a normal bite mark… not THE bite.

A part of Namjoon wanted to back out, worried that he was pushing himself into something that he wasn’t meant to be part of. But another part of him… A much bigger part, couldn’t just turn his back to this.

He didn’t know what to do or what to say, but he couldn’t just leave the younger alone. He was hesitant to say anything so he just sat down next to the younger omega, and wrapped his arms around his shaking body in a hug to show his solidarity.

When Junhong opened his eyes they were bloodshot and it was clear that he had been at it for a lot longer than Namjoon had observed him, his bottom lip was quivering in way that wddidn’t seem fitting for the normally happy and friendly maknae, but the words out of his mouth were even worse “I can’t feel them anymore, they are gone.”

The statement just made Namjoon hug the younger even closer more fiercly, “It’s okay.” no it wasn’t okay, they both knew that it wasn’t okay.

Namjoon hadn’t even thought about how it must feel for Junhong, going to bed just to wake up and no longer feel your pack. It had to be heart breaking over and over again, and he never saw Junhong… be sad about it, not like this. He always seemed so hopeful, and Namjoon could easily have believed that it was just the others really affected about it.

“It’s not okay! They are gone! They are suppose to be here! Why aren’t they here?” Junhong’s voice was muddled with cries and sobs and he had almost thrown himself into Namjoon lap desperately hugging the older omega while rubbing his skull in an aggressive fashion that made Namjoon worried.

Junhong was having a full on breakdown, and Namjoon could feel him full body shivering “shhh you have to try and calm down,” Junhong’s grip on him was almost painful as he was digging his nails into Namjoon’s back, but he still listening to him as Junhong sobbing slowed down a little, and his grip did slowly become less painful.

For a while Namjoon just rocked back and forward in a calming motion to get the other omega to calm down a little, Namjoon wasn’t sure when Junhong had finally stopped sobbing, he knew that his sleep shirt was soaked in the youngers tears, but when Junhong finally looked up at Namjoon he looked my embarresed than sad “You weren’t meant to see that.” he mumbled a little shyly.

That statement worried  Namjoon a little “Does the other know?” the idea that Junhong was hiding how much it hurt him. It reminded him of the issues that had been hurting BTS, and he wasn’t going to let that happen to another group he cared about.

Junhong nodded “yes… I just need to let it out sometimes… I didn’t want you to see, I didn’t want you to know how badly it is. I didn’t want to lie to you that is why we told you the story of what happened, but I also didn’t want you to know how badly it is. I didn’t want you to think that this pack hurts omega’s that what happened to me would happen to you if you took the bite.”

Oh… Junhong was silly, “silly maknae.” Namjoon hugged him close, “I know that nobody hurt you on purpose.” he hesitated for a second “maybe… maybe you should stop focusing on what everybody is thinking about you and the pack, everytime I have seen you you have your bite higher and higher, more and more visible. Maybe… maybe try to focus on yourself this time, I know it sounds weird. Don’t try to show off, don’t try to prove something to the world.”

The younger looked away from Namjoon, like he couldn’t look him in the eyes “I want people to know that everybody else belong to me and I belong to them.” his voice was a lot softer and lower than Namjoon had ever heard him before.

“Why do you care? Nobody else can judge you or your pack, not the fans, not other idols. Just focus on your pack and yourself, maybe don’t place the bite so high up. Where did you have the first bite?”

Junhong still refused to meet Namjoon’s eyes “right hipbone, Yongguk wanted to place it there again after it had disappeared the first time, but it was like some part of me wanted… needed to prove to the world that they wanted me, that I was wanted.”

“Have you ever thought that might be the issue?”

The younger sighed “Daehyun thinks so, that I am so afraid of not being wanted that I end up trying to do it myself. You know how people can be so scared and worried that they might be pregnant, that they will start producing hormones like they are pregnant.”

“Maybe try it different this time, wait a little until you take the bite and place it where it felt right original.” Namjoon smile, trying to make Junhong to meet his eyes. Which he finally did, but the answer wasn’t what he expected.

“No.”

“Uhm… what? Why not?” It seemed logical for Namjoon, just chill for a second.

“You don’t understand!” he seemed frustrated like Namjoon was being dim and just not understanding something simple “You haven’t gotten the bite yet, you don’t understand what it’s like to having a pack. To be able to feel your pack in your mind, when you lose that you feel so empty! I can’t do this, I am going insane! I am… I am so lonely in m head, it isn’t right. I don’t want to be alone!”

He was half yelling at Namjoon at that point, less than a month ago he would have hide, he wouldn’t have taken the fight, to unsure about himself, feeling that this being a pack thing he had no place in this. But now… Namjoon knew the feeling of being an omega, he understood what Junhong was saying, and more importantly he understood that Junhong wasn’t mad at him, he was scared. And Namjoon couldn’t just leave now. He already made this mistake with BTS, he was partial respondsiable for what had happened.

Namjoon could have stepped up when he saw Jimin feel bad about himself, he could have stepped up more with Taehyun when their beloved beta thought he wasn’t good enough and that he had let people down by being a beta. He hadn’t done anything, not for Jimin, not for Taehyung, not for Seokjin nor for Jungkook when all he had needed was a soft hand.

He was not going to be that person again, he was not going to let more people down and he wasn’t going to let more people get hurt “You are right, I don’t know how it is to be with a bite, and that is why I am the best to help you. Everybody elses judgement is clouded, I know it might seem like I am against you right now, but I promise that I just wanna help you baby. Just like everybody else want to, nothing else seems to be working. Don’t you think it is better to try this and at least test it?”

“It hurts,” the younger was no longer yelling or angry, it seemed like Namjoon words had knocked the fight out of Junhong as he once again slumped against Namjoon face buried between Namjoon’s shoulder and neck, “you really think this could help?”

Namjoon’s smile was soft and almost serene as he leaned against one of the cabinets, still sitting on the cold floor, petting the other omega’s hair in a calming movement “yeah I really think it could, and you are not going to be alone while doing this. You will have your pack with you, everybody love you very much and if you ever feel alone or left out, all you have to do is tell them, and I’m sorry that they would be more than happy to make the feeling go away.”

“You as well?” Junhong’s voice was getting slightly slurred like he had been crying himself to sleep and he now had to fight to keep awake, “Even if you don’t pick us. You will still be my friend and not forget about us.”

That was a promise Namjoon had no problem with giving “you are hard to forget,” he pressed a kiss to the top of Junhong’s bleached locks “but no matter what happens, you are never going to get rid of me.”

It was true Namjoon couldn’t see his life without B.a.p, he didn’t know if they were the right pack for him, but he knew he wouldn’t want to be without their friendship, just like with both Got7 and BTS themselves, they were part of Namjoon now and he didn’t wanna be about it…

It took another 15 minutes for Namjoon to coax Junhong into the nest again, he wish that he could carry the younger, but even if he had been completely healthy Namjoon wasn’t sure he was able to. Junhong was to danm tall!

Neither Namjoon nor Junhong told any of the members of BAP about their midnight talk, but when Yongguk offered Junhong the bite again as soon as the other membere noticed that they were no longer able to feel the maknae through their packband, Junhong refused it. Using the same words that Namjoon had told him, that he still very much loved his groups mates, but they needed to try something knew, and maybe this would give Junhong’s body time to realize that it actually wanted the bite. For it to stabilize.

While Youngjae and Himchan seemed a little hesitant at it, Daehyun just seemed happy as he went to the tips of his toes to press a kiss to Junhong’s dry lips “I love you.” was all he whispered, before he went on with his day, leaving Junhong to smiling an almost dumb smile.

Namjoon himself was in a good mood as he went into work, he manage to have his first dance practice without being so weak that he had to back out halfway through it, and for once their choreographer seemed to be happy with him told him so!

The rest of the day went pretty well as well! Slow Rabbit PD seemed very happy with some of his lyrics, no matter how many times Namjoon turned in lyrics like that he was always worried that it wasn’t going to be enough… that his emotions wasn’t going to be enough, but he instead got praise and while they both knew that the song was way to… harsh to be put on a BTS album, it was still a good song.

It had taken Namjoon a long time to learn and realize that just because something didn’t fit on an album didn’t mean that it was a bad song, criticism has always been hard and Namjoon many times struggled with taking it, without getting his feelings hurt.

With the day being a happy one and Namjoon ended up leaving earlier than his original plan was knowing that Himchan and Yongguk was in the studio he decided to go and join them, to bounce around some ideas and stuff like that.

While he was in the car he found his phone from his pocket, checking all the messages he had missed. There were a few ones related to work, but none of them seemed to be support important.

There was a few in their BTS group chat, mainly Jimin who had been babysitting Jongin’s puppy while the other idol had spent time with SHINee, and god know that SHINee already had enough dogs and he actually wanted to spend time with them. Seokjin shared a selfie of himself with one of the TVXQ members with the message that he finally got to meet the rest of them. Taehyung had been silent mostly, but Namjoon could see that he had read the messages, so he hoped there was nothing to worry about. Jungkook had sent a picture of a spray bottle filled with water and an angry smiley.

Namjoon smiled and sent happy sticker back at his group members, before he went to check his messages. He had a few from Jackson about how Namjoon needed to unfriend Mark and never talk to the other omega again, Namjoon couldn’t keep himself from laughing a little as he went ot check his messages from Mark which did indeed contain a very blackmail worthy photo of Jackson sleeping with his mouth open and drooling all over himself like a baby. Saving the picture on his phone he said Mark a quick thanks before messaging the picture back to Jackson who already started to type a respond before Namjoon could swap to the next person.

Jiho has sent a sample of the newest track he was working on as a solo agent, plus an aesthetically pleasing over exposed picture of the studio with a filter slapped on top of it. The sample was good, he sent a few notes he had on it. That was another thing that it had taken him some time to actually learn, the fact that when people showed you stuff it wasn’t always the right choice to say how good it was, but instead finding small things to nitpick about.

It might seem harsh to some people, but Namjoon had learned that people didn’t show him stuff as a ‘see what I made’, but instead because they respected him as an artist and wanted to hear his opinion.

Namjoon was actually surprised how much presenting as an omega had helped him with his confidence, he without doubt still had times where he had problems being himself since he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do things as an omega, or sometimes he felt that he might not be the right for BTS’s leader since he was an omega, but he could still tell his opinion to people now. Which was a big step up for Namjoon.

Then there was the messages first from Daesung and then from Seungri. Still after all these week’s both of the olders idols still texted with him daily, and Namjoon was feeling a lot easier talking with them, and still found himself really like them as people instead of just as members of freaking Big Bang… But G Dragon, or Jiyong still at time scared him a little when he could hear the feisty thin alpha in the background.

Daesung had apologised many times for how Jiyong had just showed up and tried to explain that he was sometimes over protective and more curious than he would like to admit, and that he seemed to have very little impulse control.

Namjoon was actually surprised to see messages from the two Big Bang members, Seungri’s rut had started not long ago and he had expected to not hear from them in a while, but both seemed to be back Daesung wishing him a good day and telling him that his vocals cords were doing better.

So Namjoon might have been a little worried about Daesung, he knew that the older omega was struggling with issue about his vocals cords and that Big Bang was preparing a comeback end of the year (Which he had promised not to tell anybody), and Daesung had complained about a pain right before Seungri’s rut has started and Namjoon knew for sure that Daesung really wanted to be a vocal part of the comeback, but that the rest of Big Bang (also known as Jiyong) would cut the omega’s line if they were under suspicion that it could hurt him, even if it would make Daesung mad at him Namjoon had learned without even talking to the rest of Big Bang that they would do anything to keep Daesung safe, even if it meant having to deal with him being angry at them.

Namjoon sent back a few of the happy panda stickers he had copied of Seungri, before wishing Daesung a good day as well.

And then there was Seungri, opening a text from Seungri was… always risky, it could be everything from a cute fanart, or some super explicit fanart. At this point Namjoon wouldn’t even be surprised if Seungri sent him porn for him to rate, or a dick pick… The last one probably just to see if he could fluster Namjoon. Which he could.

Luckily there was no dick picks in his kakao, instead there was an army of sad, angry and frustrated panda stickers linked with the messages ‘rut’s suck, fuck rut’s. Can we swap?” and then a selfie with the text ‘atleast Youngbae took my to get my hair bleached, we match now!’

Oh Seungri looked good as a blonde it seemed, not that Namjoon would have expected it coming from Youngabae, who had some… tragic… hairtcuts over the years.

Namjpon thought back on Jackson’s rut, it hadn’t seemed like the alpha had disliked them and his had lasted much longer than Seungri’s, he hesitated for a second before he answered Seungri.

‘Already done? I thought it would be longer?’

Seungri’s answer was instant ‘Omg ues somebody to entertain me! Our ruts are very short since we only have one omega, and it’s terrible since I am a soft alpha. I don’t have the needs of a normal alpha. I want to get fucked, but also fuck something, it is really weird and confusing. And while I normally with a ALOT of prep can take a knot, there is no way I can do it while in rut, and I can’t produce a knot myself doing ruts so I can’t even knot Daesung. TL;DR it fucking sucks’

Namjoon spent another 10 minutes texting back and forward with Seungri taking part in light banter before the car finally arrived where he was suppose to go, Namjoon’s face was still buried in his phone as he made his way to the studio. Had it not been because he had been so busy texting the alpha he would probably have noticed anything, but he didn’t.

He just pushed open the door to the studio, still staring at the small screen… He dropped his back and phone when he saw what the fuck was going on in the studio… “What the fuck?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my defense... I have had the chapter done since the 3rd, but my beta reader has been super busy and as you have probably been able to see the chapter is still not betaed :(
> 
> A few things to notice:
> 
> 1) I have another chapter done, other than this one. (I also have a Minseok x Jungkook smut not in this AU)  
> 2) This and the next chapter are going to be the last ones in the BAP arc.  
> 3) The 22nd is my annverisry as a kpop writer and I will be doing a few things over at my writing block which include, taking random questions from everybody, previewing a long ass chapter about my next long kpop story, and doing a catch up post to show how much I have done over the last year ^^
> 
> And most importantly!!! A POLL!
> 
> Since after next chapter I am starting on Hoseok's part and I want to know how you prefer I wrote it:
> 
> [POLL](https://strawpoll.com/kgg716ez) or tell me in the comments how you feel about it! ^^


	61. Just being by my side isn't really kindness you know, baby Oh tell me goodbye, tell me goodbye

So when Namjoon entered the studio he had very specific things he expected to see when he entered the studio. He expected hard work, music and maybe some laughter. When he did not expect was Yongguk on his chair legs spread, head thrown back, eyes closed and his hand stuck in Himchan’s hair while the beta was eagerly sucking him off.

All three of the them all kinda froze, had somebody looked in it would probably have looked ridiculous. Namjoon having dropped all his thing standing with the door open and mouth open as well, Himchan looking with big open spelled eyes with Yongguk’s dick right next to his face and the alpha’s hand still having a firm grasp in Himchan’s hair.

While all 3 looked at each other like a deer caught in the headlight Himchan was the first one to speak up. “This isn’t what it seems like!”

“So… you were just washing his dick? With your best cat impression?” To be honest, yes he was a little shocked, which was mainly because the studio was a holy ground for Namjoon, and that couldn’t be hygienic!

While yes, it did still make him shy the thought of sex and stuff like that, but he wasn’t gonna run away at the sight. He knew that the rest of BAP was having smexy times! He had walked in on Jongup and Youngjae in the shower, which Namjoon was 90% sure was planned since normal people would lock the door. He had gotten dragged into the shower with them, which had almost caused him to be late for practice!

Himchan opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again… tried for words one more time, before once again closing it. In the end it was Yongguk who spoke up. “Are you sassing us?”  his tone was full of well meaning humour.

Which made Namjoon feel more comfortable pushing his stuff into the room and closing the door behind him. “Are you about to have sex in the studio that other people have to work in, with the door unlocked so anybody could walk in?”

“There was a do not disturb sign on the door!” Himchan piped up, face still right next to Yongguk’s still hard dick, tip angry red and leaking precum showing that he had been close before Namjoon had decided to make himself known.

Yongguk just shrugged, he couldn’t stop his hips from chasing the warmth of Himchan’s breath as the other spoke. “And we weren’t having sex, we are just blowing each other… Bro jobs you know.”

That caused both Himchan and Namjoon to look at him with a raised eyebrow a frown that said ‘really?’ “Geez I’m sorry, don’t mind my bad jokes. Sorry for trying to lighten the mood it’s not like I am sitting here with my dick out feeling awkward.”

Namjoon had to agree that he was feeling slightly awkward as well, he had felt really swag and in control when he had walked in, feeling that he really had the hand up on the rest of them. But now that he was actually in the room he felt mostly awkward and not really sure what he was supposed to do. Luckily Himchan seemed to be more in control than both of the leaders. He cocked his head a little to the side and looked over Namjoon with an eyebrow raised. “Do you want to help me?” he gestured towards Yongguk’s dick that was still standing proud, also oh my god how had he not gone soft yet?

Namjoon was sure that he wasn’t suppose to still be hard, he looked surprised at Himchan. “Me?” at the sametime as Yongguk more or less squaked out. “Himchan!”

“Don’t act like you have never thought about it when we have been sitting here late at night working? Tell me that you don’t want me and Joonie to both be drooling over your dick sharing it like a lollipop?” So yeah Himchan turned out to actually be a leading expert in dirty talking.

And Namjoon would have to be lying if the thought didn’t turn him on, he already knew that he really enjoyed eating people out and while he hadn’t sucked a lot of dick he was pretty sure that he would really enjoy that as well, and that he would enjoy sharing with Himchan, yes that actually sounded really hot.

“You… shut up.” Yongguk mumbled, now having his hand covering his eyes like he couldn’t look at them and his deep voice somehow becoming even deeper with arousal.

Knowing that he more or less had gotten consent from Yongguk Himchan instead turned his attention to Namjoon. “What do you say Joonie? Wanna help?”

Namjoon couldn’t get himself to answer, feeling shy again. Well at least this time he had a good 5 minutes where he made it sound like he wasn’t a shy tall bean. That was progress, instead a small bump was heard as Namjoon’s knees hit the floor next to Himchan. Instead of answering the question he leaned forward to press a kiss to Himchan’s soft lips.

Well it didn’t really stay soft for more than a few seconds as Himchan eagerly took control of the kiss to map out Namjoon’s mouth and engage his tongue in a dance of passion. Namjoon could feel a hand being placed in his hair as well, more comforting than control, and he didn’t need to open his eyes to know that it was Yongguk’s, who seemed to have decided that he wanted to be part of it somehow.

For a few moments he let himself be completely controlled by Himchan and Yongguk. The hand in his hair guiding him and Himchan’s hands on his hips pushing him closer until air was needed for this to go on. Both Himchan and Namjoon’s eyes were hooded with lust as they looked at each other.

A light nip more onto Namjoon’s full bottom lip before the beta finally decided to give some mercy to Yongguk. He placed a kiss on the tip of the still very hard dick next to their faces, running his tongue over the tip Himchan managed to get a deep guttural sound out of Yongguk and a more soft moan out of Namjoon as the youngest saw the precum disappear into the beta’s mouth.

He couldn’t stop himself from taking Himchan’s mouth in a harsh kiss sharing the bitter taste between them. The taste of alpha exploding in Namjoon’s mouth as Himchan wrapped his tongue around the youngers.

Another moan from Yongguk and Namjoon could feel how his own erection was starting to push on his zipper at the sound of how deep the alpha’s voice became when he was aroused. “God you two looks so hot together like that,” his hand was still resting on Namjoon’s hair, but it was soft and not too hard especially compared to the matching one he had in Himchan’s hair guiding the beta.

Namjoon finally broke the kiss as he looked up at Yongguk eyes glazed over with arousal. “Harder please,” he couldn’t stop himself from asking, he wanted to be treated like Himchan, he could take it.

He couldn’t explain why he found it so arousing to have somebody control his moments. To let somebody else have the control. He had found the same thing with Daehyun, that while he loved eating out the other omega he prefered to do it while Daehyun had a tight grip on his hair and was grinding down on his mouth.

For a moment it looked liked Yongguk was gonna question it, but it seemed that he was smart enough to know that it wasn’t a good idea to question the omega. Instead just doing as the younger asked of him, tightening his grip on his hair. It was the first time Namjoon had actually vocalized what he wanted to anybody that wasn’t Daehyun and he wasn’t going to question it. It wasn’t like it was a weird kink for omegas. For majority of them submission came natural, and it really seemed to be a turn on for Namjoon.

Guiding the two youngers heads together again Yongguk couldn’t stop himself from moaning. The two were making out right next to the head of his cock and as the kiss was broken a string of saliva was connecting to two.

Both were going so easily turning their heads towards Yongguk as he guided them “You know that you can say stop at any time.” It was so important for consent, while yes Himchan knew that he could back out at anytime, it was even more important that so early on in Namjoon life as a sexually active omega he understood that he could back out.

Namjoon just nodded, licking his kiss swollen lips eyes fixed on the erection right in front of him. It was kind both cute and sexy as fuck to see the younger omega clearly wanting to suck him off. Yongguk was not going to lie that he had found Namjoon attractive even before he had presented as an omega, but he found many people attractive and he was never going to push himself on a dud. He was more than happy just being friends with Namjoon.

But as Namjoon presented everything changed, he could thank Jiho for the notice of telling them about the younger presenting, it was kinda impressive how quickly the news of Namjoon having presented spread in the idol world. Which shouldn’t really have surprised Yongguk, he still to that day had no idea how the information had reached Big Bang, but he guessed that he should be happy it did. Namjoon had told them about his conversation with Daesung and how the older omega had helped him realize that he didn’t ‘owe’ anybody anything, and it was important for his own health that he gave everybody a chance.

It seemed that Himchan the cheeky fuck had lost his patience as he stuck his tongue out to kitten lick at the tip once again. “Focus,” he teased Yongguk “you have two pretty guys on their knees in front of you and you decided to have a deep thought session instead?”

Yongguk tightened his hand once again in Himchan’s bleached locks having relaxed his grip a little as he had his little thinking session. Himchan was right though, his thinking session about how they all ended like that and how they all seemed so happy with Namjoon there and how he fit with them so well could really wait. “Oh I’m sorry that I want to make sure that I have consent.” His tone might sound snappy, but he knew that Himchan understood him as the beta licked his lips.

“Can we get on with it then, before Joonie drools on himself?” The omega seemed to wake a little bit up at the mention of his name as he raised his head looking directly into Yongguk’s hooded eyes.

“I understand,” good that Namjoon already seemed to understand that verbal consent was one of the most important things there was.

Yongguk smiled a little, which was hard because he was still so fucking turned on and he had two really hot guys close to his dick. “Good boy,” Namjoon almost lit up at the compliment and Yongguk might have filed that away for later.

Finally letting himself have what they all seemed to want he guided the twos head to his erection, letting Namjoon close his soft lips around the tip as the same time as Himchan was guided to the side.

After that it was pretty hard for Yongguk to really focus on what was happening around him. He did his best at helping guide the two heads while enjoying both the feeling and visual in front of him.

The two on the knees in front of him made an amazing picture which was only made better when Yongguk noticed that they were jerking each other off at the same time. Namjoon’s tiny omega dick almost completely disappearing in Himchan’s hand.

Namjoon was clearly doing his best to give back as much pleasure as he was getting, but with how little experience Namjoon had he was clearly struggling between focusing on jerking Himchan off while wrapping his tongue early around the tip of Yongguk’s cock. The alpha was more or less sure that if hadn’t been for the hand he had buried in Namjoon’s hair the omega wouldn’t have anything to ground him and help him focusing on the task on hand.

The picture of Namjoon and Himchan making out around his dick would without a doubt be forever stored in his brain for jerkoff material. While yes Yongguk would be lying if he said that it was the best blowjob he ever had (that honor went to Youngjae who wanted to see how it felt with Yungguk fucking his mouth while he was lying on the bed with his head hanging over the edge… which… yeah that had been amazing, he had fucked away Youngjae’s voice, but the beta seemed to think it was worth it. Then again, it would probably not have happened if Yongguk hadn’t lost control like a pup and knotted Youngjae’s mouth, which Yongguk could not be blamed for. He had tried to warn Youngjae, but he was not letting him go)

“Fuck close,” his body was fighting against itself, on one side it wanted him to close his eyes and enjoy the orgasm incoming another part of him didn’t want to tear his his eyes away from the view in front of him.

That seemed to make both of the younger much more eager as the did their best to push Yongguk over the edge. Himchan resting his hand on his naked thigh softly massaging it as to show him that it was okay.

A deep moan was released from Yongguk as he couldn’t keep it in anymore and he came, at the same time as Namjoon pulled of the tip which resulted in Namjoon getting a full facial and looking generally surprised at Yongguk with big wide open eyes.

Cum was hanging of Namjoon eyelashes, cheekbones and lips, and that was when Yongguk noticed that both of the younger had reached their climaxes as well. Or at least he thought so if the wet cum covering their fingers was anything to go by.

Namjoon licked his lips swiping the cum covering them into his mouth keeping eye contact with Yongguk. “Salty,”

“Yeah… you need to not do that.” Yongguk mumbled closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair head falling back. “You two might actually be the death of me.”

Of course Himchan didn’t seem to let him get away with that as Yongguk heard him push Namjoon down flat on the floor, and when he opened his eyes he was greeted with the sight of Himchan in his best erotic fashion licking the rest of the cum off Namjoon’s face while being a gentleman and tucking him back into his pants while zipping him up.

So yeah they were pretty much out to kill Yongguk’s sanity as he quickly closed his eyes again. Moaning low in his throat as his dick made an effort to get hard again. “Don’t you fuckign dare, just because they are being teases.” He mumbled half heartedly to his dick, because yes talking to your dick was a completely normal thing to do when one of your packmates, plus the guy you hoped to be one of your pack members were licking YOUR cum of each others faces. How was he suppose to deal with that?

Namjoon laughed at Himchan finished his cleaning with a kiss placed on his lips. With arousal having died down after his orgasm the kiss was soft and sweet instead, until Namjoon had to push him away. “Too hot.”

That just caused Himchan to laugh. “You know it.” before finally deciding to clean himself up as well, before getting up to kiss Yongguk as well. “Are you still alive or did we finally manage to suck out your soul through your dick.”

“Fuck you,” was all Yongguk mumbled dick still out as he was rubbing his eyes trying not to get hard.

Then there was Namjoon who spoke up. “Aw come on! I like these jeans now there is a wet spot!” Only for Namjoon to turn around and show that yes indeed he had somehow managed to produce enough slick to actually make a wet spot.

Needlessly to say. They got a good amount of work done that day, yes most of the things they managed to write was 18+, but technically it was work? Right? They wrote songs… Okay they didn’t get much work done.

Also it turned out that Namjoon got a little (a lot) affectionate after smexy time and he was happy sitting on Yongguk’s lap while writing. Which yes Himchan got a lot of pictures of which was happily shared in a group chat with other idols emotionally invested in Namjoon’s life.

There was food when they got home, which made everything much better because food. The mood in general was nice, warm and comfortable. Namjoon had spent multiple years now not getting the closeness he needed after returning home from a long day, and it was nice and relaxing to just standing brushing his teeth having Junhong wrap his long arm around his waist resting his head on top of him smiling to him in the mirror. Or Jongup pulling him into a game of Overwatch without complaining that Namjoon was to bad, instead just enjoying the time with him.

He had started to get used to his time with B.a.p. He enjoyed spending time with them, he liked going to bed and waking up with them , but everything was temporary until Namjoon made a choice. As he was dragging his shirt over his head because god knows everything was being too warm Daehyun spoke up. “Don’t see this as me wanting to get rid of you, because if it stood to me we weren’t going to let you go, but you said you wanted to spend some time with everybody before you had to leave for Japan.”

Namjoon had said that, he wanted to be fair not just to himself but to everybody else as well. He wanted to split his time between the packs who had all somehow decided that they actually felt that he would maybe fit into their pack.

“Yeah… you are right,” he had already been with b.a.p a few weeks, but it felt like so much more since so much had happened and everybody had been so good to him.

He sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s the right thing to do… I… I want to be fair, but I don’t want you guys to think it is because I want to leave, or that I haven’t enjoyed my time here.”

For a second everybody was silent and still in the room, until a certain baby alpha decided he was done playing a game of silence. “Namjoon we all knew that this was temporary for now.” He wrapped his arms around the omega hugging him close from behind, it was the first time in a long while they had actually called him by his name. Normally he was just sweetcheeks or just Joonie. “We don’t expect you to just want to join us now, nor at anytime. Yes we hope for it, but if you told us now we would know you hadn’t thought it over. We know this is important, and we care about you. We knew this would happen and we are okay with it, go spread your wings.”

The rest of B.a.p agreed and that night Namjoon slept in the middle of a giant puppy pile, knowing that this would be the last time in a while that he would be sleeping with B.a.p and he wanted to keep them close.

The next day Namjoon was to leave, he had already had a call with Block B since that was where he was gonna stay next, and they had seemed happy and eager for him to spend the time with them.

Namjoon had decided that he first of all was going to spend a day or two home alone getting his stuff and thought in order. He knew that he had been terrible at being alone last time, but he was pretty sure that he would be better this time.

Going down the line hugging the members and getting kisses and nuzzles in return was kinda sad in the end. While Namjoon wasn’t sure if B.a.p was it for him, because nobody could really explain what knowing that it was YOUR pack really felt like, but he knew he really liked them if not loved them.

His hug with Junhong was extra tight from both sides as Junhong mumbled a very quiet thank you that only Namjoon could hear. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling like a proud little bean since Junhong had actually taken his advice.

His goodbyes with Daehyun, Youngjae and Jongup was while still sad a lot more cheery as well. They reminded Namjoon that even if he didn’t end up with them, this wasn’t goodbye forever, and even if everybody else found Namjoon terrible at video games Jongup and Youngjae would still play with him. Why he had no idea, but bless their souls. And he knew that he would forever have a bond with Daehyun since he kinda felt like his Omega teacher in a same way that Daesung did… It had to be a Dae thing.

The last in the line was Yongguk who’s hug was somehow even more fierce than Junhong’s and another thank you was given and Namjoon knew what it was from as he whispered back. “Remember you promised to tell them, but I also understand why you can’t right now. Just… I think it is going to work with Junhong now, tell them after. When I come back to Japan you better how told you or I will whup your ass.”

“I’m taller and stronger than you.” Yongguk teased as he lifted Namjoon off the ground teasingly.

It caused Namjoon to laugh before he kissed his friend one more time. “Admitting you need help isn’t being weak, it’s being strong. And even if you need a break… everybody will understand, they love you.”

One last group hug was shared between them before Namjoon was on his way home. It was bittersweet leaving, while he didn’t want to leave. He also looked forward to spending time with Block B, it was always easy to forget that two of the members knew Namjoon longer than ANY of the BTS members… Yeah maybe that was gonna be good for Namjoon, but he also kept Bang PD-nim’s word in mind. A pack wasn’t just the two he knew for so long, but all of them. He couldn’t forget that.

He smiled for himself as he threw his hoodie across the room because fuck the heat, it was going to be okay… he was going to be okay…

While Namjoon might be okay, Hoseok was planning murder in the other end of Seoul…

Target: Hyunseung    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was B.a.p's time for now! I hope you guys have enjoyed them and if you didn't know about B.a.p and didn't care about them I hope you are still here to read ^^
> 
> So again. I will be having my annervisery event on my writing tumblr which can be seen below the 21, and even if you don't use tumblr you will still be able to read the posts and I hope you will enjoy the.
> 
> Also did you notice the thing? The thing with Namjoon? XD


	62. Keeping up with Hoseok [Part 1]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to put together the multiple chapters and one chapter into 2-3 very long chapter!

Hoseok felt uncomfortable at first as he entered the Beast dorm following behind Yoseob like a lost puppy, at first he had wanted to say no to the shorter omega, but after thinking about it for a little while he realized that it was probably the best idea, he knew that only Seokjin had been in the dorm when he had left and the older beta had chosen not to sleep in the nest which had triggered Hoseok himself to avoid the nest as well.

The Beast dorm was warm and the scents inside blended in with each other in a comfortable mix, it was so different from the dorm he had left that morning “are you sure that it is okay that I’m here? Shouldn’t you ask your pack alpha?” Hoseok had a lot of first hand experience with angry pack alphas from his family pack, and while he wasn’t brainwashed enough like Jungkook was that he would think that it was the way all pack alphas acted, he didn’t want Yoseob to put himself in any trouble for his sake.

Yoseob didn’t get to answer busy jumping from one foot to another taking of his shoes, but instead the Beast pack alpha had decided to make himself known as he entered the hallway. The Beast alpha was tall and towering over Yoseob who was by all means a tiny person, but he didn’t have the overwhelming presence that many tall alphas had, instead his scent of maple sap had a sweet edge.

And that was when Hoseok realized, the Beast alpha was actually a soft alpha, while he knew that soft alphas could be pack alphas as well, he had never came across one personally himself. Hoseok wracked his brain to think if Beast had any other alphas but nothing came up, discounting Hyunseung, Hoseok could count 2 omegas and 2 betas, how did they even function.

“What should I be asked permission for? Since when does anybody in this house listen to me?” the soft alpha was smiling an easy smile as he wrapped the much shorter Yoseob into a hug getting a kiss on his cheek in return. “Welcome home Seobie, I see you brought a friend”.

Yoseob who was smiling a cute smile pushed the overly affectionately alpha away from him with a laugh. “This is Hoseok from BTS, I meet him while being out today and he could use some friends right now, and you did tell me to get friends”.

Hoseok could feel his muscle tighten up uncomfortably, he had seen his family pack alpha slap around omegas who refused her advantages, he knew violence wasn’t normal, but it was instinct. It was the same reason he could never get himself to stop Yoongi from doing anything… he was scared.

But Doojoon just shrugged “I did say so,” he then turned his attention to Hoseok, for a second Hoseok thought he would be turned away simply because he was another alpha in Doojoon’s pack space, but the older idol just smiled the same smile at Hoseok he had at Yoseob “I am Doojoon, I am the leader and pack alpha of this… mess, I heard from Minho about the hell happening in the BTS pack, you are of course welcome to stay if you need to catch your breath. If Yoseob says you’re good, that is enough for me. Plus group therapy has to be hard you deserve a breather”.

So many questions and so little time, but Yoseob seemed to have more questions and was quicker to answer it “I knew it! I knew that you knew I went to group therapy! You guys are shit liars!” he was full on pouting and Hoseok couldn’t stop a smile from being put on his lips, Yoseob kinda reminded him of pre-presentation Taehyung, it was cute and comfortable.

Doojoon held up his hands like he was pleading innocence “I’m sorry! Management wanted me to sign off on the hours you spent there, but I didn’t want to push you to talk about it before you were ready!”

It was kinda weird for Hoseok, while yes there was clearly an argument going on, it was never like it had been for Hoseok in his family pack based on fear, or like in BTS. While the two were arguing, there was clearly no fire between them and Yoseob just pouted a little more before getting on the tips of his toes to peck Doojoon on the cheek “You are actually a softie, maybe you should wear the omega pants in this pack.”

Hoseok could feel the fear running down his spine his entire body primed to run, Yoseob had just insulted Doojoon’s alphaness and basically called him an omega, no pack alpha would stand for that. It was like the maknae in a idol group saying they should be the leader instead. Hoseok wanted put himself between Yoseob and Doojoon, he wanted to help, but he couldn’t he was too scared. While Doojoon and him was around the same build with the older being a little taller than him, Hoseok was scared of him.

Hoseok was scared of the pack alpha. Even if he had been a 10cm tall walking stick, alphas was scary Hoseok knew that better than anybody. He could feel the now almost invisible scars on his back throbbing in phantom pain, he had done the same mistake as Yoseob before, and he had paid… oh god he had paid so much.

Doojoon who didn’t seem to have noticed the younger alpha’s fear, defused the situation by just shrugging “Your pants are way way too small for me to fit into, now Junhyung on the other hand that might work out with a little luck, but you… nah tiny human bean. You heard what beauties said, you are just a small little bean.”

Another pout from Yoseob, but he never got to say what he wanted to as he turned his attention to Hoseok and at that noticed that something was wrong, the alphas posture was weird and awkward and if that didn’t give him away, then the fact that his normally fresh and slightly sweet scent of honey seemed off. Felt off, like you had stuck your hand in a nest of bees and tried to steal the honey.

Luckily for everybody while Yoseob was a cute little bean, he wasn’t stupid, he had been an idol for many years, something you didn’t get to be unless you were smart, plus he remembered what Hoseok had told him. Even if the dancer hadn’t told him everything, and what he had said had been a word vomit, it was still enough for Yoseob to piece it together. “Doojoon, I think our diet sodas are being chilled in the fridge, can you go and grab one for our guest we are being rude?”

For a second it looked like Doojoon wanted to refuse, but when he noticed what was wrong with Hoseok he decided to trust his omega as he just nodded, placed another kiss on Yoseob’s forehead before heading out, not even asking Hoseok what soda he wanted since he didn’t expect an answer.

Yoseob quickly turned his full attention to Hoseok “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to overwhelm you, I thought that since you said you struggled with alphas, this would be easier for you since Doojoon is actually a soft alpha, but I should have expected that it wasn’t as simple as that”. He took a step towards Hoseok, but stopped a respectful distance from Hoseok “He is gone now though, if you want to leave that is okay of course, but you are still welcome to stay, I promise we won't overwhelm you again”.

For a second Hoseok just looked at Yoseob, until the maple scent finally left with its owner and allowed the younger’s muscles to relax. Then he just felt shy and a little embarrassed, “I didn’t mean to make a scene” he mumbled, he didn’t want this to be the older idol’s view of him.

Yoseob just shrugged, “We don’t control our feelings and reactions, when I saw Hyunseung walk into our practice room I threw a full water bottle at him and then almost begged him not to leave me and us again. It’s okay.”

“You guys have enough issues without me being here, this was a mistake.” Hoseok could feel the ever present sense of dread wash over him, those words that he was worthless and useless, that he was nothing but trouble. He wasn’t worth it. He could hear her voice even after so many years, why wouldn’t she leave him alone!?

Yoseob didn’t seem to bothered, he just smiled a soft smile at Hoseok “we have most of our issues fixed, all we have to do is accept a few things, but we are okay. Do you have anywhere else to go other than back home if you leave now, cause I don’t think it would be good for me to let you leave.”

Hoseok still hesitated, he didn’t want to burden Yoseob, the omega had already been so nice to him even tho he didn’t know him that well, and staying just felt like he was making it even worse, “I will be fine,” he wasn’t sure he would be, he didn’t want to go back to the empty dorm, he really didn’t want to. With the cold empty rooms it felt like he was all alone in the world.

The older didn’t accept that though, “do you want to go back to your dorm, not if you need to go back, but do you want to?” something about the omegas trusting and soft voice made Hoseok hold back his protest for a second.

He felt like he couldn’t lie to Yoseob, “no…”

And with that ‘Hoseok got half adopted into the Beast pack, when Doojoon got back with 3 diet cokes in hand Hoseok had prepared himself and he could relax without problems around the older alpha, Yoseob turned out to be right soft alphas were a lot easier on his instincts to run and hide than a normal alpha.

But nothing did go smoothly for Hoseok since he did get hit by Doojoon’s infamous need to throw things instead of handing him the cola, it was thrown across the room and hit Hoseok square in the forehead, and like some goddamn cartoon, Hoseok fell to the ground, and was left wondering with what had hit him.

For a few seconds he just lied there staring up at the ceiling not really able to understand what had just happened to him, “Doojoon!” Yoseob’s voice was loud and close to Jungkook as the short omega kneeled down to help him up “Don’t throw things at innocent people! While we expect you to throw things instead of getting them handed to us like a normal person, normal people don’t.”

Hoseok almost thought he was hallucinating when he got to sit up looking at the tall soft alpha who now had tears in the corner of his eyes “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you! I am so sorry!”

Hoseok would first later be able to understand what had happened, he wasn’t used to alphas showing their emotions that easily and it was a shock for him, but he would come to learn that Doojoon despite being an alpha was sensitive and would cry at sad movies, sad stories, happy stories and a stain not coming out of his favorite hoodie.

Somehow Yoseob managed to get the two clearly emotionally unstable alphas into the living room opening both sodas before setting them down and placing himself plop down on Doojoon’s lap the alpha obediently wrapping his arms around Yoseob’s middle leaning his cheek against the younger’s back clearly just enjoying being close to the omega.

The scent of maple sap and red ginseng mixed in a weird mix that was weirdly fitting for the two, and Hoseok couldn’t stop himself from imagining himself with Jimin like that. Jimin hadn’t been comfortable in that way with any of the alphas for a long time.

It had been so easy for Hoseok and everybody to ignore how bad things had gotten, when you only spend time with each other you got used to ingesting poison and slowly you start to accept poison as normal, but now with something so normal and soft in front of him… he realized how bad it had gotten.

No that was a lie, Hoseok had known for a long time that it was wrong, the thing with Namjoon was just the drop to finally make the glass spill over, they had all known that something was wrong for a long time. Hoseok was to afraid of saying anything, while yes there was a slight underlying sense of fear in Yoongi, that wasn’t everything.

He had to be honest with himself, he was a coward and he was afraid that if he spoke up against the dorm he would be rejected, he wouldn’t fit in anywhere else, he only had BTS he had nowhere else to go if they didn’t want him anymore. He just wanted to be accepted and loved, sadly he had nothing to compare sane and real love to, so he had accepted that what he got from BTS was just how stuff was, because he was afraid… Afraid of not being good enough.

“Is it really okay for me to stay here?”

Doojoon opened one eye lazily looking at Hoseok “Do you have fleas?” the sentence was said followed by a slight yawn, like the comfortable position with Yoseob was actively drawing out his energy.

“What?” Hoseok was so confused.

“You look like a lost pup, and stray puppies sometimes have fleas, and you can’t sleep in our bed if you have fleas.” Doojoon answered like duh, that made totally sense.

Luckily Hoseok didn’t get to answer when the door was banged open and two loud voices was half yelling at each other, the mixed scent of watermelon and starfruit invaded the dorm way before their owner's, scent strong and almost overwhelming and Hoseok was sure he had never smelt an omega and beta’s scent mix and be so damn strong.

“Doojoon! Junhyung ate my poptart and now he is trying to get away with it by using puppy eyes! Stop him before I forgive him!” in stepped Dongwoon, Beast’s maknae and beta watermelon scent almost as strong as the pout found on his lips.

Doojoon who had gone back to having both eyes closed just hummed softly “What do you want me to do about it? I am not your mom, just your pack alpha.”

Dongwoon actually stomped the ground at that. “But I’m hungry and I had been saving that,” Hoseok had never imagined that the young beta could be that immature… and young, he was older than Hoseok by almost 3 years. Then the beta seemed to notice Hoseok as he looked at him with curious eyes “You are not mom, where is Kikwang? I am not complaining, you are almost as pretty to look at as Kikwang, but where is he?”

The oldest omega of beast having seemed to finally decide to join them, since he was actually mature enough to take of his shoes before going in “Hello,” his smile was nice as he hooked his jaw over Dongwoon’s shoulder.

Hoseok had seen Beast perform many times before, they were a senior group but they were different when they were off stage, they were a lot… softer, while yes he had known Junhyung was an omega, but it was first in that moment when he looked at the omega leaning against the tall maknae that he realized that there was more to the omega than his charismatic slightly edgy rapper persona.

Oh god… it was scary how Beast was so much like BTS now that he thought about it, Junhyung was beast’s Namjoon without the stress of being a leader. The difference was that Beast had accepted him, they hadn’t forced him to be something he wasn’t he could be cute and soft around the edge when they weren’t on stage and camera, he could be himself. He wasn’t rejected, that was the soft smile Namjoon could have been wearing if they had just made him feel accepted, Namjoon could have come into himself as an omega if it hadn’t been for them.

“I didn’t know we were collecting humans!” Dongwoon’s voice still had an edge of teasing in it. “Please tell me you didn’t trade Kikwang for him, this group is gonna be dead in a week if you have”. the youngest seemed to have forgotten the case of the taken poptart faced with the reality of another person there.

Yoseob just laughed almost waking Doojoon who somehow in the span of the last 30 seconds had managed to actually fall asleep, it had to be hard being the pack alpha and leader “He is still filming for Monster, he will be home in a few hours, this is Hoseok, I met him at group therapy that apparently everybody knows about even though they weren’t meant to. He is having issues with his pack and could need a breather, so I invited him to stay with us.”

Junhyung looked at him with a thoughtful facial expression “Do you scratch?”

Hoseok could no longer keep it in “Why do people keep asking if I do pet things?” Did he really look like a dog? Now that was rude, he had just now gotten fans to stop with the horse thing. He really didn’t need to be compared to a dog, that was sad.

The omega just laughed “A year or so ago Yoseob brought home a cat, it hated me and scratched me up real good, do you know how much it hurts getting scratches covered with makeup. The worst part was he protected the damn thing, and said it was my fault!” Hoseok could now see what Dongwoon meant about the puppy eyes, the omega was actually adorable.

“I promise I don’t scratch!” Hoseok wasn’t sure why he answered, he knew that it had just been a joke, but he still felt the need to point it out.

“Well, welcome to Beast then”. With that, as if Hoseok wasn’t an unknown person or a stranger and an alpha Junhyung threw himself down on the sofa next to Hoseok and stole his soda as he leaned on him questioning his scent since apparently, he had never smelt someone with a honey scent before.

Over the next few hours, Hoseok ended up spending being constantly surprised by how… soft Beast actually was, Doojoon managed to sleep his way through the conversation, Yoseob sitting happily perched on the soft alpha’s lap while petting the leaders arms around him, Junhyung had taken a spot with his head in Hoseok’s lap and his legs in Dongwoon’s more or less demanding head scratches from Hoseok.

Which of course Hoseok complied with, running his hands through the omega slightly bleached damaged hair. It had reminded Hoseok of the time before Jimin had presented, where all of the maknae line was happy with getting cuddled and pet. As of recently it had only been Taehyung who was happy to let Hoseok distract himself by playing with his hair.

The chat was easy, none of the Beast members prodded into why Hoseok was actually there it all was kept superficial talking about practice, and next comeback. Yoseob gave them all a light scolding about the constant coloring, cause apparently while yes Yoseob dyed his hair, it was only when he couldn’t get out of it. The maknae specifically got a scolding since apparently he had taken a liking to the strawberry blond he was sporting at the moment.

When Hoseok hadn’t been able to keep in his giggling at Dongwoon’s pouting the short omega’s wrath had been turned towards him instead and he had gotten a kind hearted scolding. It wasn’t like the scolding his family pack would give him, or even the slightly stingy scolding Yoongi was given him recently, instead it was given with puffed cheeks, pouting and the comment that hair mattered!

Hoseok had to admit he had somehow dozed off on the couch as well, the day had been long, practicing alone at first and then he was emotionally tired from all that had happened all day, with his hands running through Junhyung’s hair and the soft scents of relaxed people around him Hoseok was carried into dreamland.

When he woke up, it was many many hours later, or at least that was what it seemed like with how it was dark outside the window. Hoseok had somehow found himself hugging… Doojoon in his sleep, oh he was in a bed… no a nest, yeah he was in Beast’s bed if the strong scent of star fruit from the pillow he was using said anything.

He hadn’t even noticed how the were completely intertwined in each other, it was the first time in so long that he had cuddled an alpha, both Yoongi and Jungkook found it below them to be cuddled, and the best he could get was to have Jungkook spoon him at times, but Hoseok had ended up feeling awkward since Jungkook’s scent quickly turned aggressive to show dominance.

It was the door opening that had woken him it seemed, in the door light from the kitchen lighting up behind him was the last missing member of Beast, Kikwang… Oh Dongwoon was right… The oldest beta were beautiful.

“You are awake that good! There is food in the kitchen, Yoseob wanted to let the two of you sleep, but we weren’t sure when you had last ate, and food is important.” His smile was easy and his posture relaxed like there wasn’t a stranger alpha in his nest, his black hair was still wet from the shower Hoseok assumed he had just taken.

“Uhm… he has a strong grip on me.” Doojoon had intertwined their fingers that was around his middle and Hoseok wasn’t sure he could get loose without waking the other alpha, and he looked kinda cute sleeping.

Kikwang just sighed “I swear to god he could sleep his life away if we didn’t stop him.” He walked over, steps long and solid for somebody who was even shorter than Jimin, he leaned down getting a soft grab on Doojoon’s face before slotting their mouths together in a kiss Hoseok was sure could not be seen as PG13.

It worked as Hoseok could feel Doojoon wake up in his arms leaning upwards to get Kikwang back as he pulled back, a whine was drawn from Doojoon “Kiiik.”

“If you want more, get your ass up to the kitchen or I will let Dongwoon eat your food.” and then he left, slightly swaying his hips leaving the two alphas staring at him, one impressed and one half salivating. Well… It had been a long time since any of the BTS betas had daringly been that open with Hoseok.   

The rest of the evening was pretty calm and not much happened, the mood around the table was nice and warm for a group that had just lost a member, even if it wasn’t official yet. Kikwang did get pulled away after dinner by a look from Doojoon who had seemed to want the visual to keep his end of the bargain, but the smile and slight smirk on the beta’s face told Hoseok that he was more than happy with some alone time with their pack leader.

Hoseok himself spend the evening surprisingly chill, everybody somehow seemed to have just accepted that Hoseok was there now. He talked about rap with Junhyung and Dongwoon, until he zoned out to once again nap, this time on Junhyung’s lap who had easily guided the tired and young alpha.

When sleep time came around, Hoseok hadn’t expected to be allowed into Beast's nest again, but when he asked for the spare room, Yoseob didn’t answer him instead just dragging him towards the nest.

Hoseok wanted to argue about it, but he was tired and somehow he knew that he wouldn’t be very successful in making the omega change his mind, plus Hoseok didn’t want to be alone. He hated being alone and he hated himself even more for being too weak to stand up for Namjoon, maybe being alone and sleeping alone in a room would be a good punishment for it, but he couldn’t do it.

Especially not when he got dragged down into the bed, by Junhyung, dressed only in tight boxer briefs hugging his lithe body like he had zero shame in the world of another alpha seeing him like that, which yeah he probably didn’t, now that Hoseok thought about it.

“Alpha huuugs!” Junhyung’s voice was slightly whiny and tired sounding, it seemed that a day full of stealing other people’s food had finally caught up to him and claiming his energy.

Kikwang and Doojoon were already asleep in the bed, the much shorter beta had somehow managed to spoon their pack leader who was happily sleeping with a soft smile on his lips. Hoseok couldn’t remember the last time somebody had spooned him, he was an alpha… and in BTS that wasn’t allowed, it would be frowned upon.

Normally Hoseok would be hugging the warm and solid body of Seokjin close to him, Jungkook doing the same for Taehyung and Yoongi claiming Jimin. With Seokjin’s long arms and wide shoulders he could have easily spooned Hoseok.

Hoseok hadn’t noticed that he had been ignoring Junhyung’s words to him just staring at the beta and alpha, “Hoseok?” Yoseob’s hand on his upper arm was light and his voice questioning “Is something wrong?”

At first he wanted to lie, say nothing… but he was so tired of lying, so tired of anything, he just… He just wanted to be that smiling guy he was for all Armies, he wanted to be happy and just be himself, “I… Back home no alpha would get cuddled like that, we… it’s not alpha.”

Yoseob just looked at him a little hesitant, before he asked “Do you want to cuddle? Here, we don’t really care. We have no full on alpha, and Doojoon might actually be the softest person out of all of us. We won’t judge you.”

If this had to work, if his time here with Beast should work. If Hoseok wanted to become a better person for his pack, he had to be honest. No more lying, no more any of that, to become the best alpha, to be the real alpha, a true alpha that his pack deserved he had to open himself up, he couldn’t lie while he was here. Even if it was to save face “Yes… I… wanna cuddle.” saying the line, admitting that he wanted what he saw almost hurt, it was like the word hurt all the way up his throat as he said it.

He luckily wasn’t giving much time to think about it before Dongwoon pulled him over to him instead before wrapping himself around Hoseok “That is my job then!” he nuzzled the back of Hoseok’s neck and he then lowered his voice “If you still feel weird about it, just think about it as me being your hyung!”

Surprisingly enough… Hoseok didn’t feel weird about it, he actually liked how he was pulled close to Dongwoon’s chest he liked how he could feel Dongwoon’s arms around his middle and how the beta’s watermelon scent was rushing over him, “It’s okay.”

“You smell good though, honey… It’s a nice scent for an alpha, very different from what I am used to,” Hoseok just nodded, he was tired… too many emotions, he had been holding back his feelings for so long that it felt exhausting to finally let himself feel it.

He was going to deal with the next day, for now… he would just sleep smiling a little as a soft hand petting his stomach over his shirt.

The next day was… surprisingly calm and nice, Yoseob took Hoseok to his second time of group therapy, and this time Hoseok actually managed to say who he was and mention why he was there, even if he couldn’t get himself to tell the details it was still a start which was helped along by Yoseob holding his hand while he was talking insuring Hoseok that he knew that Yoseob was there for him.

Hoseok had to admit he hadn’t expect himself to get used to Yoseob around him so fast, the older omega was so different from what he had learned to expect from BTS and from Yoongi, and he would be lying if he said that he couldn’t see some of Jimin in Yoseob, he wasn’t sure if it was because both omega had a more muscular build while being cutely short at the same time or if it was something else, but there was something against it.

When it was Yoseob’s turn to confess what was going on with him Hoseok finally got some more backstory to what had lead to this fatal meeting that would change Hoseok’s life and self esteem for the better.

“As I mentioned before, we found out that our omega and group mate had never really loved us, that we were just a replacement. At first when he announced he was leaving our group he said that he wasn’t leaving the pack, but we found out later that he was leaving the pack. Since we are still together to the fans and public we still have practice together, even if he will officially leave us before the next comeback. 3 days ago we meet him in the practice room, he seemed to be a bad mood, he hasn’t been happy since Big Bang’s latest comeback and we finally found out what was actually wrong as he exploded on us.

  
He blames us for not reaching the success Big Bang has, he say that it is our fault that he will forever live in the shadow of Seungri, that he would never be able to love failures like us. He… He said that he was just using us for his physical needs, that we were just a low form of unpaid prostitutes, happy to serve and please him at every moment. He told us that with him leaving we will never get success, and that he knows that we plan on leaving the company, he said we are like pathetic kids who hasn’t noticed that we are just riding on his coattails.

That when we leave they are going to reform Beast with better and younger idols.  
It hurts… I… I know that he isn’t right, that we are talented and we can make it with or without him, I know that he should hate him for hurting me, for hurting us… but I can’t cause I love him, and if he asked us to take him back tomorrow, I would defend him, I would stand up for him and saying that he loved us. I know Junhyung is the same, I don’t know if it’s an omega thing or a personality thing just wanting to be loved.

The worst part is that I know that he is hurting, he has hidden from all of us how much he has actually been hurting, I know he had no warm feelings for Seungri, but I didn’t know that it was as bad as it was. I knew he liked to get over Seungri’s skin, but I am now actually worried that he will try to hurt him, not physically, but mentally.  
  


Every idol of this generation knows that Seungri wanted to be an omega, that he expected to, and I’m worried that he will really get hurt. I just want everybody to be happy, even if Hyunseung has done some bad things. It’s okay, he isn’t a bad person, he deserves to be happy”

Yoseob stopped his speech, it wasn’t a ramble or stumbling over his words like somebody who was in a hurry to finish, every word was carefully chosen and pronounced and the last part was said looking specifically at Hoseok as to tell him that he as well wasn’t a bad person and he deserved to be happy.

While that was a very nice sentiment, that wasn’t what Hoseok actually focused on, that wasn’t what he could focus on, instead it was on what Yoseob had said about Hyunseung, Hoseok wasn’t sure what he had expected, he had never expected it to be so bad.

Hyunseung seemed like such a nice person on the outside, Hoseok hadn’t expected such evil to be part of him. Yes, Yoseob forgave him, but Hoseok couldn’t find it in himself to forgive the older as well, while it wasn’t his job to do the forgiveness, but Hoseok could only imagine how much all of them were hurting.

Somebody leaving a pack wasn’t easy, especially if it wasn’t done with every member's’ consent, it was like you were losing a part of yourself. It could really fuck with people’s mind, that was why packs were so important it weren’t just words and feelings taking the bite, you bound your mind to the pack

Hoseok wasn’t like Jungkook he knew that having the maknae line taking the bite so early wasn’t good, Jimin CREATED the pack with Yoongi the day after he presented, Jungkook took the bite the same day he presented and got his rut triggered the day after. It wasn’t right, he knew that when he thought about it logically and he knew that he shouldn’t have agreed to it, that he should have said something, that he was guilty as well, but Hoseok wanted a pack so badly, he wanted somewhere to belong he wanted a family that loved him, he wanted to feel that love that he didn’t get from his own family pack, so he had been complacent in this.

You know that feeling when you live in your community and you get used to everybody thinking as you do and everything that happen is just… normal… It was like that for Hoseok, it was just his normal, as bad as it sounded.

He gave Yoseob’s hand still holding his a soft squish making sure not to crush the omega’s much smaller hand, not that he actually think he could… Yoseob was built like… Hoseok wanted the man's abs, badly.

As they left group therapy, Yoseob was showering him in compliments about how how well he had dealt with everything and how far he had come in only two days, and the two idols with bucket hats pulled into their eyes went hunting for food, Yoseob told about how he had finished his heat a few days ago and the group therapy session they met at had been the first one since his heat and his heat was actually the reason he went back since it was his first heat without being able to feel Hyunseung in his mind, but that was also the reason he was so hungry.

The omega almost looked a little embarrassed about it, but Hoseok smiled happily, that was one thing that he learned from Jimin, don’t ever make omegas feel guilty for wanting to eat, especially idol omegas. Tell them that they are beautiful and so pretty, and if they even mention that they were hungry… get them food! Food was important! Especially for omegas, Hoseok wasn’t stupid he knew that anorexia could lead to omegas not being able to carry children and he knew that it was something that would crush most omegas and he hoped that no matter who Namjoon ended up being a pack with, that he still had the ability to carry kids, cause Namjoon was the kind of person who would really want kids.

Everything was going fine until Yoseob slipped his solid arm around Hoseok’s hips as to hold him close and not loose him in the crowd, which would normally have been fine, but probably by accident Yoseob’s fingers slid under his shirt which coursed the alpha to stiffen in place and then almost propel himself away from Yoseob as the older fingers had touched one of his many scars.

Hoseok ended up on the ground looking half scared at Yoseob, while he was pretty sure that the the older had figured out he had scars it was still something Hoseok didn’t really want anybody to think about. Even back with his pack he always kept his shirt on even to bed, and it was common knowledge that he didn’t like showering with other people since they would see his chest.

He was ashamed of them.

Yoseob looked a little sad and he kneeled down next to Hoseok ignoring the people who were looking at them weirdly, the people around them trying to get past hadn’t noticed that they were idols instead just the fact that they were blocking half of the walkway “I’m sorry,” his tone was soft like he was speaking to a spooked animal, which sadly was probably a good analogy to how Hoseok felt at the moment “I didn’t mean to do that, I would never push you into talking or showing me something you weren’t comfortable with. This doesn’t change anything between us,” he reached his hand over to Hoseok as to help him up, but also to offer him something to ground himself to reality “Okay?”

Hoseok could feel the cold grab of her hands on him and he quickly took a hold of Yoseob's hand grounding himself into reality, she wasn’t real. She was locked away, “I’m sorry.” Hoseok mumbled as he got to his feet looking awkwardly at the ground “I can’t control how I react sometimes, I just… my body gets scared when people touch me like that, and my brain gets scared of people judging me.”

“Never” Yoseob smiled as he intertwined their fingers “Unless you kick cats, then I will judge you and never speak to you again.”

Boht just laughed at that, and like that the mood seemed to be easier, true to his word Yoseob didn’t try to pry from Hoseok where the scars were from or to see them, he seemed to understand that Hoseok wasn’t ready to talk yet, he just smiled like he understood that when he was ready Hoseok would come to him for the talk.

Yoseob happily chattered along as he took Hoseok to a salad bar, because of course he did, silly health freak. As they ate they talked about everything and nothing, Yoseob told him about how he had started taking red ginseng pills before he had even presented which was why it was so funny that his scent was red ginseng as well.

As they finally arrived home Hoseok decided that it was time to actually bite the bullet, it was time for him to call Bang PD-nim and their managers to tell where he was and find out when they expected him to return to practice. Even if it was the company that had arranged for him to go to group therapy anyway.

As he called Bang PD-nim, Hoseok knew that he was lucky to have an owner of a company who he could just call like this and talk about stuff like this, he wasn’t unaware how many people would more or less have just told him to suck it up and work, but Bang PD-nim really seemed to care for him and wanted him to be healthy.

The producer picked up his phone after the second ring “Hoseok is everything okay?” the worry was clear in the older man’s voice, and there was no doubt for Hoseok that his caring was real and not faked.

“I am…” he stopped for a second, he wanted to say good, but that was a lie and he was trying this new thing where he didn’t lie to the people who actually cared about him, “I am better,” that was true, he was feeling better.

Though he wasn’t sure if that better was linked to Yoseob who was taking a nap with his head in his lap, at first the older omega hadn’t wanted to do it instead having wanted to go to the gym, but with how he couldn’t stop yawning the protective beast that was Hoseok’s inner protective alpha had roared its admittedly tiny head and Hoseok had threatened to lie on top of him if he refused to stay and Yoseob might be stronger but Hoseok was bigger.

In the end the omega had surrendered to Hoseok’s demands, but taking Hoseok’s lap as pillow in punishment, not that it was much punishment the older’s soft scent of red Ginseng was helping in keeping him grounded for the not so easy conversation that he had to do.

Bang PD-nim sounded relieved when he heard the dancers voice “That is good, is therapy working? I got your message that you are staying with Beast, plus their manager got in contact with you just so everything was in order. You don’t have to worry, everything is okay with you staying there and there really is no problem with you being there especially if it’s helping you.”

“Why did you choose me? Why did you take me as a BTS member?” This was a question that Hoseok had struggled with for so long, and he really needed an answer to it, he felt like he couldn’t move forward until he knew the answer.

He had to know that he was part of BTS for something other than pity, he had to know that he actually deserved his spot, “Hoseok where did this come from? Is everything okay? Did somebody say something?”

“I need to know if I am only here because pity… I need to know that I earned this for myself, that I’m not just here because of what she did to me… That I deserved this because of me, not because of her.” he didn’t need to specify who that her was, Bang PD-nim was the only person who actually knew his past after all he more or less owed his life to the beta.

Bang PD-nim took one big breath “I won’t lie to you, you are with Big Hit because of her, that is how I meet you and there are miniscule chances that I would have meet you otherwise, but that is not the reason you are with BTS or why you are an idol, had you been untalented, or had I just felt sorry for you… I wouldn’t have made you an idol or poured money into your training, you earned this all by yourself. Yes the way we meet left a lot to be desired and yes, I felt sorry for you when Seojoon brought you home with him, but that would not have made you an idol. Hoseok you are an idol because you are amazing at it, because you were born to be on a stage, you are born to dance and you are born to make people happy. You are on that stage because of who you are, not because of what she did to you or what she made you.”

Hoseok could feel calm glide over him and he went back to softly stroking a ‘sleeping’ Yoseob’s soft hair, it was okay… He didn’t owe her his career, he was an idol because he deserved it. He worked hard for it. “When can I start going back to practice?”

“You can come in to dance at any point you want and you are needed for recording soon, but take a little break from group practice. Find yourself, this is the first time you have opened up this box of issues, find yourself and then present that person to your pack. I know that you aren’t happy with who you are at the moment, take the time you have with Beast, find yourself and some friends. You haven’t opened up to anybody other than your pack since you came to us. It’s okay to have friends, that doesn’t mean you are betraying your pack, and when you have found yourself and your inside matches your outside you can be the trust you.”

Hoseok… he needed that, he needed somebody who knew everything to tell him that it was okay, that he could become better, “thank you… I… I can become better, I will do this.”

“Are they treating you right? Beast I mean,” suddenly he didn’t sound like Bang PD, but instead the mate of the man that took him in when he was 15 beaten and broken on the street thinking that he wouldn’t survive the night.

Hoseok just nodded even if the older man couldn’t see it. “Yes they are being very nice to me, they are treating me much better than anybody who doesn’t know me very well could.” Hoseok smiled a little as he looked down at the sleeping omega on his lap “They are nice.”

Bang PD-nim hummed lightly “That’s good… Seojoon would like for you to come home and visit us when you have time.”

“Did Namjoon know… About my past… About how I stayed with you guys?”

“Yes, he is your leader, he and your manager knew. The reason that they knew was as I told you that they needed to know if something went wrong with you guys. Namjoon knew, but he was also told to never talk about it unless you started the conversation or that it was important to your health.” Bang PD-nim’s voice was calming and explaining, but the thing was that he didn’t need to explain.

Hoseok was an adult and he could understand the importance of his manager and leader knowing what was affecting him, and if he knew the beta well enough he knew that there was no way he told Namjoon anything more than he found important, none of the gory details.

“Thank you for everything you have done for me… For saving me… For caring… For everything, I don’t say it enough, I know you didn’t sign up for having a 15-year-old boy dropped in your lap, but you have always treated me well. Thank you.” he lowered his voice a little, not to hide but more because he was a little shy still about it “Tell dad I will come home before I leave for Japan.”

“You better,” he laughed a little at Hoseok’s shy voice “Now go enjoy your time off, practice if you want to, but focus on getting better.”

“I will, I am going to be the best person I can be.. And not just for BTS, but for me as well.”

“One last thing Hobi, you were always a joy to have around and still are, you were never trouble or a pain to deal with, you know that for us you are no different from the kids that we all have biologically. I know that we made a mistake by letting you have such a long life without helping you with your issues, and that is from all of us. We thought that we were doing the right thing by letting you figure this out by yourself, but I see now that you needed your family, and I’m so sorry that I let this thing with Yoongi go so far, it hurt you because I wanted to believe the best in him.

Remember this, when you are the victim of abuse and never get to deal with your issues, there are only two ways you can go, you will either become the victim again… or you will be the abuser.

This is what happened with you and Yoongi, you both have similar pasts and you are both an extreme case, but remember this when you see him again. I am not asking you to forgive him if you can’t and I don’t assume you wanna talk in depth about what happened with me, but Hoseok it’s okay to say no… If you can’t forgive him that is not you being weak or you letting BTS down, that is you doing the right thing.”

“I understand…” and he really did, he understood what the older was saying and meant, “But I don’t blame you for not getting involved in pack business, I know that you are in a hard place with being my adopted family pack and being the owner of the company I am an idol for, and you expected us to be able to work it out… like any other person would.”

He smiled for himself as he said his goodbyes to the beta, he closed his eyes for a second until he felt soft lips press against his cheek opening his eyes to look into the deep mocha colored eyes of Yoseob “I am so proud of you, you did so well.”

All Hoseok could do was rest his hand against his cheek where he had gotten the kiss looking surprised at the other idol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think of this chapter?
> 
> There are a few things left for Hoseok to go through
> 
> 1) Dance practice with Kikwang  
> 2) Nightmare and explanation of what actually went on in Hoseok's first family pack as you have probably noticed... things weren't great  
> 3) and Hoseok's rut
> 
> And a huge thank you to 'Kibumslover' on Tumblr for betaing this while my own beta reader has been busy!
> 
> A few things:
> 
> While it is Halloween I have been doing a few other stories, 3 stories for multiple groups, this is not cause I am abandoning Hidden Omega, but because I need to write other stuff as well, I don't want to burn out with this story´, I want to finish it!
> 
> Oh and if you like Esports... I might be working on something for the first time in a year... that is not kpop!


	63. Authors note; THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME ENDING THE STORY! I WILL STILL FINISH IT!

So… Prussia here… Not dead and stuff!

I am sorry for how… dead I have been, but uhm, stuff happens. Most importantly…

##  **I’m a 3rd-year ComSci student and it is making me wanna kill myself!**

That has been most of what I have been up to, there is a few other things, it’s not like I have forgotten Hidden Omega or not been working on it. It’s that this chapter is really really really long and really really hard to write.

I want to finish up Hoseok’s part and then get on to Namjoon’s heat. I will finish this story! I am not given up.

The ones of you who follow me on Ao3 has probably noticed that I have been playing around a little with other fandoms, or one other fandom… Lol rpf. But I promise that does not mean I am leaving kpop or anything like that.

The thing is… When I finally had time to write… Jonghyun happened, and it hit me hard.

For the ones of you who don’t know. Taemin is the reason I got into kpop, and with that SHINee became one of the first groups I liked.

That has also lead me to a little bit of a pickle for the people who don’t know…

##  **I have a Hidden Omega SHINee fic, and SHINee is supposed to be in Hidden Omega… Help!**

I don’t know what I am supposed to do with that, I don’t know what the right option is.

Let me explain Jonghyun’s and more specifically Taemin’s part in Hidden Omega. For the people who have forgotten not that I blame you since I have been half dead:

**Jimin is currently with Exo, who has Jongin in their group… Which is part of the SHINee pack.**

I am not gonna cut out Jongin or make him not part of the SHINee pack cause that would mean nothing about Jimin’s story would make sense.

So here are my options:

  1. I keep my story as planned, of course, I will be respectful to Jonghyun, but I will keep him as a character and the story will go on as planned.
  2. I will keep Taemin and Jongin as characters, and the story will go on as planned but try and keep the mentions of Jonghyun to the minimum
  3. Cut Taemin out and all of SHINee out, only keeping in Jongin and I will find a new way for Jimin to arrive at the state of mind he needs to.



As always since I know a lot of my readers aren’t comfortable with leaving a response or stuff so I have as always made a poll… I like Polls

[Help me decide what to do with SHINee in Hidden Omega.](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fstrawpoll.com%2Fwycxdcde&t=NDE3NTNhN2UxZDgzZThhZGVjZGM4MzBlOWJlZDI3NTk3YjVmYzI3NSw2YTZ2ellHcQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AbkNCoyHAvnNCsq7F8ml-EQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Frofics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F169014813312%2Fim-not-dead-sorry&m=1)

SOOO

##  **TL;DR:**

  1. **I am working on Hidden Omega, it’s just a very long and very sad chapter  
**
  2. **I’m a sad Shawol that is now worried about what to do with Jonghyun in my stories**
  3. **I hate my major and wanna kill myself.**



Merry Christmas to like the two people who still read my stuff! And I hope 2018 becomes the year where I finish Hidden Omega!


	64. Keeping up with Hoseok [part 2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late I know... but at least it's long!

In Hoseok’s defense, he did take a full two days where he didn’t practice and focus all his energy on it. Those two days were good and after his talk with Bang PD he did really feel like he could get better, and every day in group therapy was helping.

While yes Yoseob didn’t want him to go there alone, and he had yet to actually talk about his issues Hoseok was starting to feel better. If just a little, but feeling better was not enough... He was actually going insane… he needed to dance.

He was in the Beast dorm with Kikwang since the older idol didn’t have any shooting for Monster that day. He was instead spending his time laying on the floor with a notebook and that thinking smile that Hoseok had come to know so well from Namjoon and Yoongi, meaning that he didn’t even have to ask what the beta was doing. It was clear to Hoseok.

Hoseok, on the other hand, was struggling in finding peace in himself. He was unable to just sit and read, he tried to watch tv, then to play games on phone. Anything to actually stop rocking side from side, he didn’t want to annoy Kikwang. He couldn’t explain why he had so much unused energy inside of him!

In the end, Kikwang put his notebook down and looked at Hoseok. “Okay, what is wrong?”

Hoseok pulled an awkward facial expression. “I don’t know. I just have so much energy and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I can’t focus.”

“You are a dancer, right? Practice every day?” Hoseok nodded. “Yeah there is your issue, your body is used to spending the energy every day and now you aren’t.”

Oh… 

“Bang PD-nim said that I shouldn’t join practice yet. I should focus on my mental health state.”

“Did he say you shouldn’t join the practice with all of you or that you just couldn’t practice?

“Our big practice together.” Hoseok was full on pouting at that point.

Kikwang laughed a little. “Grab your stuff. We are going to practice,”

Hoseok looked kinda surprised. “You wanna go workout?” He had expected Kikwang to just wanna relax all day when he had a rare day off. Hoseok himself wasn’t sure if he really wanted to go and lift weights. He wasn’t Seokjin and Jungkook, he didn’t actually take pleasure from going to the gym.

“No I wanna go and dance, did you forget I am a dancer as well? Not just idol dancer?” Hoseok had to admit that he had indeed focused on Kikwang being the lead dancer of Beast and suddenly he felt eager to get his gear and head to practice with Kikwang.

And when he jumped up to run and get his stuff he left Kikwang behind slightly laughing at the younger’s eagerness. They ended up going to Beast’s practice room, none of the other members was there all having solo activities. “Isn’t it sad when more and more people have solo stuff to do? Taehyung is gonna be shooting for a drama later and Yoongi will have his solo debut. I am worried that we are going to be less of a group with all doing different things.”

Kikwang looked at him surprised while he was stretching. “No? If anything I think that at the time, our solo activities are really good for us. Even if you are a pack or not, it simply isn’t good to spend 100% of your time with people. I love my mates… but I want a little space as well. That is why you will see that all idol groups even just packs have rooms where people can go and just be themselves! Like you said that Jungkook and Taehyung play video games? When they go to another room and play it is actually good for you guys, not all people need people around them at all times. Space is good at times. That is why this time right now is good for you guys, space is good.”

Hoseok nodded slowly, he got the point Kikwang was trying to say. He did think that this space between them all, for now, was good. When they were going to return together they would be stronger in their love than ever. Ready to prove to Namjoon that he belonged to them, that he should pick them. “Maybe you are right… I am just afraid of change I guess.”

“Don’t be… believe that your pack is always gonna come back home. You all picked each other, and that isn’t just something you do. There is a lot of thinking that goes into picking a pack. This isn’t just something out of nowhere.” Kikwang was smiling in a relaxing way as to tell Hoseok that everything was going to be okay.

Hoseok decided to believe him, he was tired of seeing the negative in things. He was going to have this work out for him and he was going to enjoy his time with Beast and making new friends. New friends that treated him well and that he enjoyed being together with.

Five hours… that was how long the two idols ended up spending on dancing until they were both collapsed on the ground in a sweaty mess. At first, it had been awkward, neither of them really knowing what to do. Normally when you practiced cross idol group you had a goal… an event… something you were training towards, they had none of that, so in the end… they just ended up teaching each other their favorite dances from their discography.

Everything from the half running move from Fiction to Hoseok’s solo dance. There was laughing smiling, talking and dancing, and as both idols were trying to catch their breath again Hoseok really felt that he had gotten to know Kikwang better. That he knew who the person was more than the idol, he hoped that Kikwang felt the same.

A water bottle collided with Hoseok's head as he opened his eyes look up into the eyes of Yoseob who was leaning over him. “Both of you have a phone, use it.”

Even if the words were sharp there was no anger or anything in the short omega’s voice. It was clear that he had probably just been worried about them since they had left without leaving any trace of them.

As Yoseob went to give the other water bottle to Kikwang like he had Hoseok, it didn’t end up going as he planned instead he got pulled down onto the floor as well. “Kik no! Ew, you are sweaty!”

Kikwang just laughed. “You are just as sweaty, don’t even pretend that you didn’t come straight from the gym. Also, I know Doojoon was by to check on us earlier and called you to make sure we had enough water.”

Yoseob just puffed out his cheek a spat chipmunk, as he pouted leaving Hoseok laughing a little. The omega was cute. While yes Yoseob might not have the most classical features of an idol, there was no doubt that the cute short gym bunny was adorable in Hoseok’s mind at least he was only beaten by Jimin.

The two omegas were alike in more ways than one. Both were short and cute and while they didn’t like being called cute, they were both aware that they were. Both were in a shape that Hoseok could only dream of, and he was lying if he said he didn’t want either of the idol’s abs. He had learned earlier that day when Yoseob was doing situps in the living room that the omega had some very impressive abs, all of Beast were in impressive shape.

With the thought of Jimin, it was like the butterflies in Hoseok’s stomach got assassinated one by one leaving him with a cold empty space inside of him. He hadn’t talked to Jimin in such a long while.

Before the pack Yoongi had without a doubt been his closest friends, but the more toxic their pack became the more Hoseok found himself seeking the solace of Jimin’s soft hands and sweet scent.

Hoseok always felt like there were 3 different people fighting inside of him for control. There was the guy he really was, then there was the part of him that wanted to make Yoongi happy that wanted to be the alpha that Yoongi wanted him to become. Then there was the part of him that was trying to fight hard for being the opposite of what his first family alpha had told him he was. The part of him that was trying so hard not to be weak, not to be useless.

That part was the one he hated the most, he knew logically that being softer and nicer wasn’t bad. He had been trying so hard before they became a pack to get rid of that way of thinking. He thought he had been doing well, but then with the BTS pack, Yoongi and even at some points Jungkook… The thought process had been reinforced by those two and that had left him feeling split inside.

That was why he had sought out Jimin as much as he had, while he loved Seokjin and Taehyung, Jimin was just easier. Taehyung had his own issues, and Hoseok knew that they already fed into Taehyung’s misplaced idea that he was supposed to be an omega. Hoseok couldn’t put his finger on it… but there was something wrong with Seokjin no matter how much he was trying to hide it. Hoseok couldn’t put his finger on it, but he really didn’t want to put his issues on Seokjin.

He shouldn’t have put them on Jimin either, but he needed somebody to make him feel grounded and Jimin was always easy with his compliments. Hoseok always felt more grounded when he was told that he was doing okay, that he was being good.

When he thought about it, it was probably because of his past and how he had never gotten love as a child. But he craved kind and soft words, he craved the security of knowing what he was doing was the right thing. Especially around omegas, with seeing how his pack was never treating their pack members right, his inner alpha was craving for their omega… for Jimin to tell him he was doing okay.

He knew that he wasn’t given enough attention to their betas he knew that, and now that he was removed from the situation he could see it even more. It left him feeling sad and empty.

How often was Taehyung with Seventeen instead of him? He hadn’t even kept track of it. He knew Yoongi hadn’t either, he knew that their pack alpha really didn’t care. Yoongi had never learned about betas really, his family pack didn’t have betas… no alpha pack had. While Jimin’s trips to other omegas to get his needs filled they were heavily monitored and Yoongi had more or less made it a requirement of other omegas coming to them so he could keep an eye on Jimin.

That was probably the reason that Yoongi was happy when Lu Han and Tao left to go back to China. Those two omegas especially Lu Han were far from the mold of what Yoongi wanted an omega to become. The oldest omega was always a wildcard. There was no doubt that he disliked Yoongi and if it wasn’t for the issues in Exo crashing down around him, he would probably have been the first one to step in for them.

Lu Han always escorted Tao to the BTS dorm and stayed there as well. While he didn’t take part in the omega on omega hug and cuddles going on instead preferring to spend the time staring down Yoongi like they were two different families in-laws that did not agree.

Back then Hoseok had thought Lu Han was not crazy, but looking back on it in that moment he wished that they had an omega like Lu Han. That could take care of Jimin and step in when Jimin tried to push himself farther than he really should. It wasn’t about wanting to replace Jimin or wanting more omegas… it was about wanting somebody who could stand up to alphas and put Jimin’s health first… because none of them were like that. The closest they had was with Seokjin and while the oldest BTS member tried his best there was still only so much that he could do.

“Hobi?” Hoseok wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting in his own mind not focusing on what was going on around him, more or less just zoning out. Yoseob was now kneeling in front of him. “Are you okay?”

Hoseok just shook his head. No, he wasn’t okay, both Yoseob and Kikwang looked at him with soft eyes waiting for him to gather his wit and keep going. “I… I haven’t been a good alpha to our pack’s only omega. I am not the pack alpha… but I should have done more, and now I kinda miss him.I haven’t given justice to our betas either. I know better… But I still somehow managed to feed into the mindset that they weren’t important. I would always seek out Jimin because I wanted to know I was being good… But being the least terrible out of 3 terrible people is not being good… It is just being less shit, which isn’t enough. I should have done better by Jimin, we only had one omega and we still somehow fucked it up. Groups would fall over themselves to have our Jimin, and we treated him like being an omega was something to be ashamed of, like he was just an omega and nothing else.”

“Call him and tell him.” Yoseob’s answer came easily. “Call him and tell him what you told us. You want to be a better alpha for your pack, this is the first step. He is still with you guys, which means that he probably already forgave you, but don’t make him regret it.”

“Can I do that? He is with Exo at the moment. We are all spending some time apart to work on ourselves. Is it okay for me to call him?” Could it really be that easy? Could he actually get what he wanted to say off his chest?

“Try. Worst case scenario he doesn’t pick up, there is nothing to lose.” Kikwang was giving Hoseok’s phone to him, having been fished from his bag.

“Can I… Can you guys stay while I do it?” Hoseok couldn’t explain why, but he felt a lot more calm with the two beast members around him. He felt that he could actually go through with this, that it was actually gonna be possible.

“Of course you can,” Yoseob had found his place once again with his head in Hoseok’s lap, “if you scratch my head that is.”

Hoseok almost pushed the older violently off his lap. “I’m sweaty!”

“That makes three of us. I just got done in the gym. I’m first gonna shower at home. I really don’t need a naked run in with Hyunseung in the shower. My day is going to be great at the moment.” Yoseob had already closed his eyes, expected to be petted like a tiny ripped as fuck kitten.

“You are such a cuddle hog, Jesus, Christ. Do you die if you are not in physical contact with our people for 1 hour?” Even if Kikwang had said that he was actively massaging the omega’s thighs, because yes he was whipped for him.

“Yes, now be quiet. Hoseok has a phone call to make.” Sassy tiny ripped as fuck kitten it seemed.

Hoseok took a deep breath before calling Jimin, the phone rang once… then twice… then three times… And as Hoseok was about to give up the phone was picked up, but it was very much not Jimin’s voice picking up. Instead, the answer came in slightly accented Korean “Hello? Hoseok?”

“Where is Jimin?” His voice wasn’t sharp or anything like that… It was just sad and a little like giving up, he wasn’t sure that he had it in him to make the call again.

“I’m sorry, he is out at the moment he left his phone. I didn’t want to risk it is important so I picked it up I hope it’s okay!” The Chinese beta’s voice was hurried and apology clear in his voice. “Junmyeon more or less bribed him with food if he helped him pick up a few of the dance moves for our comeback. Something about the rest of us has no patience.”

“Is he eating?” While he really really wanted to talk to Jimin and he was sad that he didn’t get the option to do it, but maybe this was okay as well.

A static noise was heard from Yixing’s side and then the closing of a door was heard. “Yes, Namjoon told us about it. Junmyeon is mostly in charge of it. Sometimes he clearly doesn’t think he should eat, but we make sure that nobody is trying to force him and use positive reinforcement. It is clear that he wants to eat, but he worries about his body.”

Hoseok hummed a little, he was glad hearing that. He knew Jimin had problems with his body, but Hoseok had never known how to deal with it and make it better. It was hard knowing how to make Jimin feel better when Hoseok himself couldn’t even look at his own body without wanting to hide away for an unknown amount of time. “We… we weren’t always good at telling him that we loved him. There were times where we got to caught up in our own mind that we forgot about each other. We are going to be better at that… I am going to be better than that, Jimin is so much better than we ever deserve, and when this is all over we are going to prove it to him.”

“He loves you guys as well, we are not trying to replace you guys. We won’t ever do that, Jimin loves you way too much. But Namjoon was right it is the best for you to grow less dependent on each other… Friends are important.”

Hearing that Jimin, their beloved omega, actually loved them meant so much to Hoseok. In reality, the alpha wasn’t even sure if they really deserved the love anymore, but this was a start. Yixing wasn’t done speaking. “Remember this though, don’t treat him like this again. I think we all regret not listening to Lu Han when he said that funny stuff was going around with you guys. We are all invested emotionally in this now. We already lost two omegas who we have no idea how they are any more or if they are even close to being okay. We won’t let another omega get hurt like that, especially not somebody that we care about the way we do Jimin now. He is a close friend and especially me and Baek… We are not accepting it again.”

“You can’t take him away from us.” Hoseok’s voice was hesitant he wasn’t sure if that was what Yixing was threatening to do.

“This isn’t about us taking him away, or even us courting him. This is about us not letting a friend get hurt again. We are not trying to steal your omega away, Jimin is amazing there is no doubt about it. But us doing that would hurt him more than anything else for many reasons. One it would ruin his trust in us and think that we were just doing what we are because we had less than great motives. Two it would ruin his trust in other people once again. Three it would push him away from the friends that he has made while he has been here, and probably would cause him to not only break contact with us but them as well, causing him to be alone and isolated. We don’t want to hurt Jimin. The reason I brought it up what we have lost is that we are very soft on omegas, extremely soft and we will defend them to the end of time.”

“We won’t let it happen again… I won’t let it happen again. I know I haven’t been good at showing it… but I love Jimin. I really do.” Hoseok’s voice was a little regretful and he could feel himself tensing up before Yoseob intertwined their fingers and causing him to calm down.

Hoseok looked down at the omega who was forming the words ‘Calm down’ but without interrupting the conversation. Hoseok forced himself to follow the elder’s orders. He relaxed his shoulders and sighed. “I promise you have nothing to fear from me. I just wanted Jimin to know that I loved him and I missed him.”

“Good, I will tell him that and tell him to call you again. I might come off a little… on the offensive. I want you guys to work it out, but I want you to work it out in the right way.” The thing was that Hoseok didn’t actually see Yixing is being aggressive or anything like that. What the Chinese was saying actually sounded fair. To be honest he was glad that Jimin had friends like that to look out for him. He clearly deserved it and so much more.

“Thank you… For looking out for him. It means the world to me.” Hoseok could feel a little of the weight that had been holding him down lift from his heart, this was actually making him feel better.

Maybe everything was going to be okay after all.

After Hoseok’s call, Yoseob more or less pushed both Kikwang and Hoseok all the way back to the dorm, because apparently the showers at their company sucked and the water pressure was wrong.

“What he means is that he can’t get the water warm enough. Which is kinda funny since he is the one who always pushes that you have to be healthy… But the warm water that warm is bad for you, he just refuses to admit it.” Kikwang was happily walking with his arm around Hoseok’s shoulders and holding Yoseob’s hand swinging it happily between them like they were kids.

“Warm showers are good.” Hoseok felt he had to defend Yoseob, plus he kinda liked warm showers.

“Warm and boiling are two very different things unless you asked pipsqueak.”

“Don’t call me that!” Yoseob was full on pouting now. “Rude!”

Hoseok just laughed at their antics. He was happy that none of them had brought up the call he had with Yixing. He had gotten a kiss on the nose from Yoseob and a hug from Kikwang and that was it. Like they wanted to show that they supported him, but they also knew that it was too early to talk about it.

That was what he liked about Beast, they seemed to understand a lot of things without Hoseok having to explain it to them. Just like how Yoseob pushed Hoseok into his own bathroom instead of trying to pull him into the bigger one where they could all fit into without issues.

While it would have been normal for them all three to share a shower, both of the older idols seemed to understand that Hoseok wasn’t ready to show anybody his upper body or thighs, and they knew without forcing him to explain and putting him a weird situation. They just gave him a set of clothes to swap onto (sweats and a hoody, because god bless them they knew that Hoseok prefered to cover up)

Hoseok could still hear them laughing in the other bathroom as he took his own shower. But it didn’t make him feel lonely like BTS sometimes would when he heard the Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jimin being around each other in a more soft and familiar way instead of the way they acted around the alphas.

With Beast, it felt different, while yes technically he was excluded, but it wasn’t because they were scared of him or anything like that, it was because he had chosen to be. It made a big difference.

As all three of them managed to clean up and get out of the showers, the rest of the evening was spent on the couch watching weird variety shows while waiting for the rest of the members to come home.

Food was made with a little help by all of them and then consumed by all. When it was time for sleeping Hoseok was yawning he felt emotionally drained, and for the 6th night in a row he ended up with Kikwang’s arms around him pulling him to sleep.

But Hoseok didn’t get to sleep all the way through the night, he was shaken awake while the night was still young and the moon was hanging high in the sky. “Hoseok! Wake up!” Doojoon was leaning over him shaking his shoulders which gave Hoseok a flashback to the nightmare he just had. With the soft scent of maple sap mixed with alpha made Hoseok panic and he pushed Doojoon away with more force than planned more or less throwing the short alpha into the wall.

“Don’t touch me!” His entire body was shaking, and he could almost physically feel his scars burn with phantom pains.

His nightmare had felt so real, it was hard to believe that he wasn’t back there. While Hoseok hugged himself close as to stop the shaking the rest of Beast looked at him a little surprised, it was the first time they had seen anything like that out of the normal fairly meek alpha.

Luckily neither of them were stupid, and they knew that it wasn’t like Hoseok had actually wanted to harm Doojoon. His alpha scent had probably just scared him. That didn’t stop Dongwoon and Junhyung to be a little hesitant to get closer to the panicking alpha. It wasn’t like they were afraid Hoseok would hurt them, it was more based on instinct and those at times could be hard to push away.

Neither Yoseob nor Kikwang, who were the two other than their alpha who had spent the most time with Hoseok, hesitated though. Leaving the other two to make sure that Doojoon hadn’t gotten hurt from the impact with the wall Yoseob ever the fearless (Or stupid) omega placed himself in Hoseok lap gripping his face between his hands. “Focus on me Hoseok. You are awake now. What you saw wasn’t real. Doojoon was just trying to wake you up, you know none of us would ever hurt you.”

Kikwang instead took a little less intrusive way as he placed himself next to Hoseok petting his hair in a way he hoped was more calming than anything. He just wanted Hoseok to know he was there, they both hoped they both pumped out omega and beta scents in reaction to the scared alpha Hoseok would feel more comfortable. That it would help him calm himself down.

It ended up working as Hoseok unwrapped his arms from around himself, and instead wrap them around Yoseob pulling the omega closer in a tight hug that was instantly returned. As Hoseok buried his face in Yoseob’s scent gland, the trembling in his body slowed down until they were almost gone, Kikwang as well rested his head on Hoseok’s shoulder.

The three sat there for a while, Hoseok slowly calming down and it was first when I voice spoke up he lifted his head. “Is he okay?” The voice was soft and hesitant, belonging to the only other omega in Beast.

Hoseok at that point realized what had actually happened and he looked up at Doojoon feeling the overwhelming sense of guilt going over him… he had hurt somebody. “I’m sorry… please, I didn’t mean to hurt you I swear… I just got scared.”

The Beast alpha, on the other hand, was just more or less happy to see Hoseok being back to himself. “I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. It was my own fault for getting so close. I know that it is easier for you to deal with the fact that I am a soft alpha, but I should have known better than to try and wake you up from a nightmare.”

Hoseok couldn’t look at Doojoon without feeling guilty. “I never wanted to hurt you like that… I never wanted to hurt anybody, I wanted to never be an alpha who hurt people… I wanted to prove it wasn’t genetic.”

“That was out of your control,” Yoseob argued softly still hugging the younger close, “Doojoon once dropped me while giving me a piggyback ride and the ground hurt… But that doesn’t mean that he hurt me, or that it was his fault. At some point, we can’t control what our body does, intent matters. Your intent was being scared, not wanting to hurt people.”

It was Dongwoon’s turn to speak up. “You were screaming and crying in your sleep, you scared us a little. We thought you were in pain and we tried to wake you. None of us succeeded other than Doojoon, that was why he was leaning over you.” Hoseok just nodded into the omega on his laps neck, still hiding his face. He knew that he had nightmares at times and that they could be fairly violent, he had hoped that Beast would never get to see that. But it seemed like he wasn’t that lucky.

“It happens sometimes, some nights are worse than others.” He found no reason to lie anymore, it wasn’t like he could pretend it had never happened. They wouldn’t believe him. “I’m sorry you had to see that, it scares Taehyung a lot.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Doojoon’s voice was soft, and he seemed hesitant to move close to Hoseok as if Hoseok was a scared animal.

And The younger alpha just nodded, he was so tired of keeping it all inside. He was so tired of being ashamed, of being scared, of just everything. He felt like it was all boiling over inside him, he wanted… no, he needed to share it, and maybe… Just maybe they would accept him even after they knew the truth. He raised his head from where he was hiding it in the crook of Yoseob's neck.

“Can I… have a hug first?” he was hesitant to ask, but it was clear to everybody that the question was aimed at Doojoon. Which surprised everybody as well… But in a good way. The older alpha just nodded before crawling a little slowly sitting on the opposite side of Kikwang and wrapping his arms around Hoseok as well.

Yoseob who was still placed on Hoseok’s lap let the younger go shortly just so Doojoon could give him his hug. But that didn’t mean that he moved even an inch out of Hoseok’s lap. That was not gonna happen if Hoseok was actually going to admit to what was wrong… If he was going to tell them the story Yoseob wanted to be where he could give the younger much deserved hugs. He did pride himself in being the one that Hoseok trusted the most.

The other two had moved closer as well, placing some part of themselves in physical contact with Hoseok even if it was in the smallest ways, showing that they were close. “You don’t have to tell us.” Kikwang wanted Hoseok to know for sure that they weren’t ever going to force it out of him, it was okay to back out.

“ I think I need this if it’s okay.” Hoseok’s voice was near a whisper, but still strong. He was ready for this, he could do this.

Doojoon just nodded still hugging the younger alpha. “Of course, take the time you need. We are here to listen.”

None of the Beast members looked tired at all anymore. It was like they could instantly understand how important this was, while yes Hoseok hadn’t stayed with them that long, they all liked him… Hoseok was likable.

But they could also all feel the deep pain he was carrying around. If this was gonna help him at least come to terms with what had happened to him just a little bit, that would be worth a sleepless night. Even they knew Hoseok carried way too much pain with him.

“My family pack… was a mess. I am the youngest by a lot, and I think I was a mistake not planned. When I was a child I thought it was cool, all of my friends had so many siblings but it was only me, everybody having moved out. When I was younger I didn’t understand why I never heard from them. Yeah I know it is normal for most people who move out to talk less with their family packs, but I never heard from them or about them from the rest of my family pack.

I think that they went through the same as I did, and they simply couldn’t deal with it anymore. I don’t judge them or hate them for it. I don’t think most of them even knew that I existed.

It started when I was very young, back then it was just… aggressive spankings. Every time they decided I hadn’t behaved. Which was pretty much all the time. Back when I was just a child I didn’t understand why they were doing it, other than they said I had been a bad boy. I think that sentence stuck in my head, that is why I am always afraid of not being good enough. That is why I just let Yoongi do stuff, I am so afraid all the time that I won’t do the right thing. I am so used the alphas having complete control of my life, controlling me. I don’t think I have it in me to say no to Yoongi. I just want to fit in I just want to be good.

That is the worst part. I know that what she did to me was fucked up, I know that it wasn’t right. I know that now, but I still in some part of my mind wants her approval how fucked up is that?” Hoseok was full on crying at that point, words being slurred by the tears and light sobbing. But it was still clear to all the idols around him what he was saying.

Doojoon softly petted Hoseok’s back through the long sleeved shirt he was using the sleep in. “It’s okay, breathe take it as slow or as fast as you need to, it’s okay.” The pack alpha knew that it was going to get worse, he knew that he wouldn’t like what came next. He was glad that he wasn’t a full on alpha and that he wasn’t an angry person. Hoseok really didn’t need an angry alpha rage to spread his angry scent over the nest.

Sniffling a little Hoseok went on with his story.

“It got worse as I get older. I think the first time she drew blood was when I was 9. I had been a little late from leaving school making them to wait. She was so angry. She kept talking about how I was useless and I couldn’t follow simple rules. How I was just a waste of all their time, the other kids could do what I didn’t. She bends me over the sofa and belted my naked thighs. It hurt so much, it wasn’t the first time she had belted me, but it was the first time I could feel the blood sliding down my thighs.” He was hiding his face in Yoseob’s shoulder as the older omega petted his hair softly as to calm him down. “It got worse with time, she would draw blood more and more. She would get angrier and angrier, and I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong.

I thought I was just being bad. I thought I was the issue. I kept trying to do better. I would stop speaking so as not to anger her, I would stay to myself. But nothing I did made it better. She hurt me so many times, I have scars on my back and all over my thighs.

You know what the worst part is… I didn’t leave. I got kicked out. In the end, she kicked me out. She said I was worthless and I believed her, I was on the streets. I had no friends always afraid to make some as it would annoy her more.

I was 14, I thought I was going to die in the streets. I was found by an omega, I was curled up behind a dumpster waiting for death to embrace me. Dad… Seongjun that his name, took me home with him when he saw how starved and cold I was.

I tried to say no to him, I didn’t want to be the bother for another group of people. I felt that I actually deserved to die there, but dad didn’t listen. He never was good at listening to anybody.

I think it was January, shortly after Christmas. I remember how cold it was outside, I was shaking when I finally got to their home. I remember dad was so worried that I was gonna go to lose my fingers because of the cold.

The months after that, I have honestly blocked most of them out. It is kinda insane, isn’t it? I have no problem remembering every traumatic thing she did to me, but my healing after? Slowly learning how to be an actual human? Nope don’t remember it.” Hoseok laughed without any feeling in it. He knew he couldn’t stop now he had to continue, even it might change their opinion of him. It might change their opinion if he deserved to be an idol.

“It was Bang PD-nim’s pack, of course, I had no idea what they actually did and I was never the close with him. While yes the entire pack adopted me, he was always busy with work so we never spent an extreme amount of time together. But he would come to my dance practice together with some of the others when he had time. Dance became a form of healing for me. I wasn’t good at the start, my body was still trying to heal and I was weak. But with every hour I put into dance, my body slowly became stronger and so did my mind. I always loved music, I didn’t actually know what I was having an audition for. Bang PD-nim just took me there and told me to dance my heart out. He wasn’t even one of the judges, but that was how I got into Big Hit. He knew I was good enough he said, but he wanted me to know that I was there because I deserved it. Not because who my family was, I never told the rest of BTS that Bang PD-nim is part of my family pack. I didn’t want them to think that I wasn’t worth it to BTS, that I didn’t deserve to be there with them.

I was doing better I really was, but as we grew closer as BTS and then as a pack. We all started to have issues. My own old ones came up. I still struggle with alphas, normally it isn’t as bad as you have seen been lately. But it has gotten worse over the last few months, with everything reaching almost a climax I hadn’t noticed how much I had gone back to my old ways.

I had become so scared of alphas without even realizing it. Jungkook had... Has… hormone issues which means that he is a lot more aggressive than a normal newly presented alpha would be and Yoongi had put into him what he thinks an alpha is supposed to be… I never really realized before, but… They scare me right now, they never used to. I love them I really do, they mean the world to me! They are my pack.”

Finally for the first time in his life he had told his entire story, everything from how he started until the end. How he had ended here, he felt emotionally drained and he wasn’t even sure if he was holding his own weight up more or if he was fully leaning on Yoseob at that point. He had no more tears to shed, no more secrets to hide.

He was just tired.

Hoseok wasn’t sure what he had expected, for them to judge him, for them to ask questions, but he hadn’t expected to be wrapped up in a hug between the 5 older idols. Too many voices were speaking at the same time for him to really find out what was being said around him. All he knew was that it was nice and sweet words. Nobody was actually judging him, he was just getting hugs and soft words.

Maybe everything was actually going to be okay in the end.

Like that he fell asleep still leaning against Yoseob and for the first time in over a year… He slept with no nightmare plaguing him.

The morning after was not as hard as Hoseok had expected. He had expected to be greeted with judgment, he had expected for them to look at him differently. But none of that happened, he woke up late. There was no doubt about it. The blinds were up and he could see outside how the sun was high in the sky visible through the open curtains.

But he didn’t feel the stress that he normally felt with the fear of oversleeping wasn’t there, it was just… serenity. The scent of starfruit was heavy, but not overwhelming. It kinda just tugged him back into a sleepy state, his body was warm and comfortable, almost completely covered by somebody who was using him as a pillow.

It took his sleeping brain a few seconds of fighting itself so he didn’t surrender itself back to sleep, for those few seconds his eyes were desperately blinking as to try and keep open. It was Junhyung on his chest. The older omega looked cute, with his head almost completely tugged into the crook of Hoseok’s neck the rest of his body covering the younger alpha’s.

The rest of Beast was gone, not that it surprised Hoseok since it did seem to be midday. It was only Junhyung and himself that had the day off, with Hoseok being allowed to come in and practice whenever he felt like it.

Junhyung really had no right being as cute as he was, with how a giant wet spot was present on Hoseok’s shirt, from where the older had been drooling on him, but he was. The older omega, that Hoseok had gotten to know, for more than just his charismatic rapper person, was really a lot cuter than Hoseok had ever thought he was possible.

What was it with rappers, and actually being the biggest sweethearts there was. Hoseok has gotten to know how Junhyung was overly affectionate when tired. How he would mumble sleepily about things nobody really knew. Hoseok found him to be very similar to Namjoon, but was charismatic and… edgy… on stage, but off the stage they wanted to please people and liked to sit in a corner while writing music.

Junhyung seemed to wake up slowly, while Hoseok was looking at him. “Morning.” He shouldn’t be cute he really shouldn't. The side of his mouth was still wet from the drool and one side of his face was creased from Hoseok’s shirt, but he was… cute.

He was even cuter as he leaned up a little and pressed a sloppy good morning kiss. It wasn’t like it was a groundbreaking kiss. Kisses were normal. Hoseok had gotten it from the Beast members before, whether it was from Junhyung trying to steal food, Yoseob just wanted Hoseok to feel loved or Dongwoon playing around.

The thing was that this kiss was different. This kiss was slow relaxed and full of morning breath, but it came right after Hoseok’s confession. For once somebody knew everything, his entire story. And they still wanted to be friends with him, they still wanted to hug and cuddle. Hoseok had always thought that if he told somebody, anybody, what had happened to him. They wouldn’t want to be like this with him. They would scorn him, turn their back to him.

Maybe… Maybe that wasn’t what was gonna happen. If Junhyung was accepting him like this, maybe the rest of Beast would as well, maybe his own pack would. Maybe there was still hope. The kiss between the two rappers was mostly chaste. While long soft and meaningful, it wasn’t meant to go anywhere other than just being enjoyed by the two rappers.

Hoseok felt refreshed when he finally managed to get up from bed, Junhyung… was another story, the older omega was whiny and sleepy. Constantly rubbing his eyes and half hanging off Hoseok. While they were pretty much the same height and build Hoseok had no issue carrying the older weight half of the time. Maybe alpha strength was good for something.

Junhyung ended up following Hoseok to the dance studio at the Big Hit buildings. While the rapper didn’t plan on dancing himself, he didn’t wanna be home alone either. Hoseok wasn’t sure what he thought was happening, as they opened the door to the practice room they were greeted with Seokjin packing up his things.

The oldest BTS member had clearly been practicing by himself. That was one of the things that Hoseok found impressive about Seokjin. While he was one of the worst dancers in the group, he would put extra time in either by himself or with the help of somebody else to try and raise his level of dancing and reach the rest of the group’s level.

It was awkward for a moment. Hoseok was first set to join the rest of BTS for practice, he hadn’t really seen any of the BTS members other than some texts and a few glances at them, but now Seokjin was right in front of him. Sweet loving Seokjin who had tried his best to keep them all from breaking, and he looked… better. He looked so much better.

You know that feeling when you don’t see people for a long while, but when you see them again you really notice how much they changed? Yeah, that was what happened for Hoseok, he hadn’t noticed how much Seokjin had just… looked sad. Now the smile reached his eyes and his body was more relaxed and he actually looked happy to see Hoseok.

“Hobi!” And then Hoseok was being pulled close into a tight hug, face hidden in broad never-ending shoulders. Seokjin’s sweet scent of roses no longer felt like it had thorns, it felt open and welcoming. “You look good!”

“You too.” Hoseok managed to stammer out as he hugged his hyung closer, he felt better as well, and even better now. Was this was BTS was going to be like in the end? Was there still hope for them? Hoseok didn’t get to finish that thought as a soft woof was heard from the floor, and jumping up at both their legs was a little… dog?

“Sunja don’t jump on people.” That was a dog… A cute dog, oh my god it was such a cute dog. While Hoseok might not be the leading specialist in dog breeds, but even Hoseok could recognize a King Charles spaniel when he saw one!

He looked confused at Seokjin, as the older bowed down quickly to pick up the puppy, who really didn’t look like he was much older than max a few months. “You… have a puppy?”

Seokjin almost managed to speak out, but didn’t really as a loud yell was heard from behind Hoseok. “PUPPY!” Oh Junhyung. Hoseok had in his eagerness to hug his packmate forgotten about Junhyung, but now the omega was right up next to them.

While the Beast member had clearly been trying to give to two some space, he didn’t seem to be able to hold himself back anymore, “Aww she is so cute! It’s a she right? Such a cutie! Hoseok you didn’t tell us you guys had puppies! I thought we were friends.”

To Seokjin’s credit, he didn’t even bat an eye, as the older omega leaned his head down to the puppy greeting it eagerly. Ignoring how the puppy was licking him all over the face. Seokjin didn’t even seem to be surprised by seeing a member of a much older group, which okay he was staying with TVXQ.

“I… didn’t know we had puppies.” Hoseok was still staring at the puppy, his pack mate and friend is adorable. His inner alpha almost wanted to jump out of his chest, from seeing the view in front of him.

Seokjin’s smile was soft when he looked up at Hoseok. “We don’t have puppies, Sunja was a gift to me from TVXQ. She is meant to help me with my anxiety.” He seemed a little shy about saying it out loud, and that was when Hoseok realized… It was the first time that the BTS beta had actually said it.

“She is cute.” It was all Hoseok said, he had so many questions, was Seokjin okay? Was he getting help? What about Sunja when they were on tour? Would Seokjin ever forgive him for being shitty as fuck alpha?

But he didn’t ask any of those questions, he didn’t wanna overwhelm Seokjin, he just smiled at him. Because he was actually happy, he was happy from smelling roses with no weird underlying scent. He was happy for seeing Seokjin relaxed and smiling. He had a weird bubbling feeling in his chest… hope.

He was brought out of his little happy place as Junhyung called his name, the older now had his arms linked with Seokjin, but men smiling “Me and Seokjin are gonna go and find something to drink and talk! Text me when you are done with practice?”

“You are ditching me because Seokjin is prettier than me right?” All three clearly knew it was a joke at Hoseok's overly exaggeration of a pout.

The omega couldn’t keep a giggle. “Actually I am ditching you for a dog, the company it comes with is just a plus.”

“And here I thought you wanted my company.” More pouting.

The pouting game was then stepped up a notch by Junhyung. “We aren’t allowed to have puppies!”

Now that was just stupid. Hoseok knew that Beast’s management treated them like shit, and they planned on leaving the company for their own later in the year. But it made little to no sense to Hoseok why they wouldn’t be allowed to have a dog! Even BTS was allowed to have dogs, but they had all decided not to get one yet since they had so much work to do. They wanted to do right by a dog! Not treat it like a toy. “Okay you go, I will just dance… alone… lonely.”

Both luckily knew that Hoseok was just kidding and he was said goodbye to, with a kiss on each cheek by the two older idols, then they left arm in arm chatting happily.

Hoseok was worried at first that it would be weird for them. For BTS with all the time that they were spending with other packs, but it was moments like that. Seeing Seokjin his packmate and Junhyung a person who were quickly becoming one of his closest friends, happily talking, that made him have faith in this weird thing might work.

Feeling good, happier than he had been in months, Hoseok let himself loose and lost himself to the music for hours without thinking about it. He hadn’t really noticed how much his mental state had been holding him back the last few months. Now that the chains of worry and fear were no longer holding him back, he felt so free and safe. Like he could finally dance his heart out.

He had no idea how many hours he was there, but he first stopped when the music was turned off, and he was greeted with a not too pleased looking Seokjin and Junhyung. “Uhm, hello.”

“Five hours and you are still dancing. Have you even gone to fill up your water?” Seokjin looked none too pleased as he with one hand was holding his puppy and with the other holding a bottle of water.

Hoseok blushed a little “Uhm…”

“I think that's a no,” it came cheery from Junhyung, “I see what you mean now, are they all like this?”

That caused Hoseok to blush even more, as he took the bottle of water from Seokjin, feeling a little bit like a scolded puppy. He knew it wasn’t meant in malice and he wasn’t hurt. Shyer that he had gotten caught training for hours without a break. He was just in the zone. “Yes! Joonie, Yoongi, Hobi, and Jimin are the worst without a doubt. Tae is the only one who actually understands that he needs to eat to function. And Jungkook eats for, I quote: ‘Them gainz’.”

Junhyung laughed. “I am sorry, I didn’t know raising your own packmates was a thing you had to do.”

“You needed Yoseob to open your bottle of water!” Hoseok felt a little insulted by the idea that he needed somebody to raise him and he could still feel the itch of fear down his spine with the idea of Yoongi hearing himself being referred to somebody who needed raising.

But that idea and fear were quickly washed away, as the water bottle was pressed into his hand and a kiss was pressed to his lips by the BTS beta. The kiss was fast, but it was a kiss and it was there. “You are coming back to normal training on Monday right? See you there?”

Hoseok just nodded with a soft smile. “Yeah, it’s gonna be good to go back to normal. Everybody is moving back home right after Japan right?”

“Yeah that is the plan. I talked with Junhyung and he agrees that it is the best for you to have some free space for everybody while you recover. I’m glad that you have gotten people to talk to. I am sad that it took me this long to realize, but we all need friends. This echo chamber thing we are doing… It’s not good for us, and you deserve to feel more comfortable around alphas. This really helps you.” Seokjin placed another kiss on his lips before pulling away.

“They are treating you well too?” Hoseok couldn’t stop himself from asking. While he didn’t have the same alpha urges as somebody like Jungkook or Yoongi, the idea of being somebody's alpha still made him slightly uncomfortable, he needed to know that Seokjin was being treated well.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” Sunja was lifted up to give Hoseok a slobbery dog kiss before Seokjin grabbed his bag still in the training room and took his leave. Of course not before giving Junhyung a hug as well.

Junhyung looked kinda amazed at the door Seokjin had left out of. “Why is he so pretty? Like it’s not fair! I could never pull a scarf off like that!”

The rest of the evening was uneventful. Hoseok tried to get Junhyung to tell him what he and Seokjin had been talking about, but the omega wouldn’t budge and refused to tell him what the talks had been about. All he got was that it was all nice words being shared.

Everything was going so well until a week later. Hoseok’s ruts had always been speratical, but the last year or so it had gotten even worse. The more he rejected his own sub-gender, the more his own body decided that it wanted to have ruts and force him to remember what he actually was.

He himself didn’t notice it until it was evening and Kikwang was the first to come home, Hoseok had spent most of his day with Namjoon in the recording booth. As the BTS leader had taken up most of the recording and writing duty, with Yoongi awol.

On a completely different note, Hoseok had never seen Namjoon as happy and glowy as he was. The newly presented omega had just returned from his first heat, scent of candy apples and blueberries strong around him. A scent Hoseok couldn’t really connect in his mind and their dearest leader had refused to tell him who he had actually spent the heat with.

Hoseok felt bad for being happy that Namjoon’s first heat hadn’t been with BTS, while Hoseok was sure that BTS was gonna treat Namjoon well when it was their turn to court him, but Hoseok knew that BTS didn’t deserve Namjoon’s first heat. He wasn’t sure who it had been with, but he hoped that they had loved and appreciated Namjoon.

Kikwang was the one that noticed Hoseok’s rut. How the BTS alpha had missed it he wasn’t even sure himself. Kikwang had hugged him from behind, while Hoseok had been standing and cutting fruit into snacks.

“Well you smell good today,” he buried his head in Hoseok’s shoulder “why didn’t you tell us that you were about to have your rut. Yoseob and Dongwoon won’t be home for a few days and they would have loved to be here. That is of course if you stay with us for it. I expect that the rest of BTS is a little busy and you said that Jungkook had his rut with Vixx.”

That was when Hoseok managed to put two and two together. “I… didn’t know.”

Even a stranger would be able to hear the fear in Hoseok’s voice and Kikwang was no different. “Seokie? Is there something wrong with your ruts?”

It wasn’t unheard of that you can end up with medical issues around your rut, but Hoseok had never spoken on any. Hoseok looked ashamed down his hands, they were shaking. “Not medically. I just… I normally go through ruts alone, and I always… I always hurt myself. It’s not that I want to, it just happens.”

“What do you mean you spend it alone.” Alphas were never supposed to spend ruts alone, there was a reason that alpha ruts were only triggered after they had a pack.

“Did you make this choice alone, or was it forced upon you?” There was no longer any playfulness in Kikwang’s voice, this was serious.

“I… I don’t trust myself around people while I am in rut. What if I hurt somebody? What if I hurt Jimin?” Hoseok couldn’t seem to get his hands to stop shaking. He could feel the effect of the rut now. He had probably been able to feel them all along, but he probably hadn’t noticed it up until he started focusing on it.

Kikwang who still had his arms wrapped around Hoseok’s middle, tightened his grip a little bit more around the alpha. As if to make sure the other knew he was there for him. Kikwang knew that things had been bad in the BTS pack. He knew that they were working on it, and he hoped for Hoseok’s sake that they would manage to get back to a healthy pack.

That said…

There was so much wrong with the words coming out of Hoseok’s mouth. The idea that the alpha spent his rut alone, something that should never happen. Ruts were meant to be with other people! Also, why did it sound like Hoseok was only spending his rut with Jimin? While Kikwang was aware that BTS only had one omega, ruts were to be shared between all members not just alpha and omega.

“Hobi please breathe, you are starting to panic. You need to calm down.” How bad had things been with BTS? Yeah, Hoseok had told them the basics, mostly about the other members. But this was… this was bad.

Hoseok had to focus for a few seconds, taking in the older beta’s soft scent he had an easier time to calm down. “I hate my ruts.”

Kikwang hated the vulnerable tone of Hoseok’s voice, he hated the sliver of fear in it. Ruts were never supposed to be something that Hoseok should fear, ruts were supposed to be a bonding moment. “We won’t force you to stay here. If you wanna go to one of your packmates for your rut, then we will accept it, but please don’t spend it alone. No matter what you do. Please don’t go through it alone, it’s really bad for you. You already said that you hurt yourself.”

He could feel how Hoseok was still shaking in his arms, but the worst of the shaking seemed to have stopped. It took a while before Hoseok answered, and when he did it was with a very low almost afraid voice. “Is it really okay for me to stay here during my rut… I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

It broke Kikwang’s heart, spending a rut or a heat with another pack was not something groundbreaking. Fuck Minho had spent a rut with them a few times when it had suddenly hit him during a football game with Doojoon. And almost all of the Mblaq members had spent some kind of time with them, since they were each others backup pack.

A backup pack was basically where you went if you needed something that a pack normally did for you. Whether it was hugs, cuddles and kisses, or rut and heats. Hell, it had only been a few weeks before Hoseok came to stay with them that Mir had stayed with them for his heat since the rest of his pack was on the opposite side of the country.

“Have you ever been violent with somebody during your rut?”

Hoseok shook his head “But Jungkook was when he presented”

“Jungkook was forced into a situation where he hadn’t had a chance to bond with the pack's omegas or betas. Plus since he was newly presented, there is a legit chance that it noticed that Namjoon was an omega. Since you guys spend so much time together as a group, it was probably confused why he was uncourted or claimed by anybody. Of course, his inner alpha was gonna be violent, your alpha has no reason to be like that. If anything it just wants you to not be alone. My guess is that it is slowly getting worse with each rut right? With how much you hurt yourself?”

Hoseok didn’t answer he just nodded, while looking slightly ashamed of himself. God Kikwang wanted to wrap him up in a blanket burrito and never let him go again, then something hit him.

Kikwang knew that BTS had no sexual time outside of heats and ruts. While Hoseok had mentioned that Taehyung and Seokjin seemed to be enjoying each other, but also that Taehyung seemed to leave the BTS dorm to fulfill certain needs. If Hoseok was alone during his rut… “Hobi are you a virgin?”

Hoseok blushed heavily. “I was with Jungkook during his rut,”

“You said that your job was to hold him down when he was trying to hurt you, himself or Yoongi, that’s not sex.” Was it too late to adopt a cute dancer? Even if had already gotten adopted once? “Do you wanna stay with us during your rut.”

For a second Kikwang thought that all the progress they had made was gonna be undone, he thought that Hoseok would say no, but slowly ever so slowly… he nodded “Yeah… I would like that.”

From there it took Kikwang exactly 1 message in group chat, 2 very whiny messages back from Yoseob and Dongwoon that the wanted to be part of its well, and it wasn’t far that they were in Japan!

Hoseok who had been added to the group chat blushed when he saw the messages. He had expected all of them to be more… negative to the idea, but everybody seemed happy and supportive of him. It had then lead to a weird conversation when Doojoon asked over text if Hoseok wanted him to stay away, and not take part of Hoseok’s rut.

While the BTS alpha understood why the pack alpha felt the need to ask, he had a kinda hollow feeling in his chest with the idea that Doojoon wouldn’t be part of it. He still had some moments where he was wary or uncomfortable around alphas, but Doojoon was never an issue anymore. Hoseok actually many times found his scent of maple sap to be one of the most relaxing scents, only beaten by Kikwang’s. Which that last one didn’t count, since Kikwang was one of those people who had that effect on people. He couldn’t control it nor did he need to do anything for it. It was just how it worked for him.

Hoseok had tried his best to express that he actually really wanted Doojoon there, but he had also given the alpha an option to not do it. If he didn't feel like he wanted to spend it with Hoseok, but luckily it seemed that Doojoon really did want to spend it with him. He seemed eager to get home from his schedule.

The next awkward conversation was with Kikwang, which was the dreaded conversation about if Hoseok’s rut was sexual or non sexual. Something that Hoseok couldn’t really answer since there was no clear answer for him. “It’s kinda both, it doesn’t have the really high sex drive and mind-numbing that I hear most alpha’s talk about, but it is not a non sexual rut either.”

Kikwang just nodded thoughtfully as he was stocking the kitchen with cold water and other things that would be useful during Hoseok’s rut. A rut wasn’t the same as a heat and alphas didn’t need the same kind of care that omegas did. Kikwang had always found that it was easier for him to stock up on stuff like that before ruts as well since he seemed to be the one always with the clearest head. Doojoon’s ruts, could be painful at times with him being a soft alpha.

Next came building a nest, with Hoseok saying that his rut had a non sexual part of it Kikwang found it best to follow the normal advice for non sexual ruts and build kinda a physical nest in the nest. Which involved stealing shirts, hoodies, pillows, and blankets from around the dorm and forming a big nest in the giant bed that fills most of the room. Hoseok was little hesitant as he lifted up a hoodie pulling a weird face at the scent of sweet chili. “Why is this with Yoseob’s things?”

So Hoseok wasn’t an idiot, and he was fully aware that this was Hyunseung’s. The missing member of both the Beast pack and Beast idol group, but why was it with Yoseob’s things? The omega said that they had gotten rid of all of the other omega’s things after he had left them. As to make it easier on all of them without the constant reminder of him.

Kikwang seemed disappointed, but not surprised in any way. “Stupid Yoseob. I thought he had finally stopped holding out hope for him. This isn’t good for him.”

That caused Hoseok to sigh as well, that is what he had learned from his time with Beast as well. Yoseob had a way to big heart in things like this. He kept saying that he had let Hyunseung go, that he no longer wanted the other back. But they all deep down knew that it was a lie, Yoseob simply had to much love in him. Hoseok was low key starting to hate Hyunseung. He didn’t care about how much Yoseob made excuse for him.

Yes getting kicked out of Big Bang right before debut had to suck. And yes it had to be even harder seen the group succeeded, but that did not make it okay for how he treated his own pack, and that didn’t make it okay how he treated Seungri either! Hoseok hadn’t told Beast about it since he felt like it would hurt more feelings. But Hoseok had been told the story after he found Seungri sitting wet and drenched with red eyes in Namjoon’s studio.

Hoseok had managed not to get noticed, but he had later asked Namjoon what it had been about. While the omega hadn’t told him all the details, he had told Hoseok enough for him to wanna wrench Hyunseung’s neck. Hoseok didn’t know Seungri personally, he and the rest of Big Bang had treated Namjoon really well, and Namjoon needed friends that weren’t courting him.

Hoseok held the hoodie with two fingers like it was about to jump at him and eat him. “What do we do about it,”

“Leave it, we can’t force him to get over it faster than he is. I don’t want him to feel bad about healing at his own speed. The best we can do is be there for him if he needs it, and not judge him for it.”

Kikwang was a saint, that is what Hoseok had learned over the last few weeks, and he expressed so, taking pleasure in the blush that was to be seen over Kikwang’s pretty features. “Shut up you, and help me with these pillows.”

As the midday turned to evening Hoseok had called Bang Pd-nim and explained why he wouldn’t be in for training. His adopted dad it accepted without any issue, telling him to be safe and to remember to ask both omegas and betas if they were on birth control, which caused Hoseok to whine out, “Daaad!”

It was one of the few times, where Hoseok actually referred to Bang PD-nim as dad. It was awkward when your dad was also your boss.

As the hours had passed Hoseok had found himself slowly becoming more and more… Needy and wanting. An hour before Junhyung was supposed to return home as the first. Hoseok gave in to his own instinct for the first time in forever and half wrestled Kikwang into a cuddled hug in the nest they had just made.

Luckily Kikwang had just waited for Hoseok to either finally give in to his instincts or to ask for the closure he clearly wanted. So he just laughed light-heartedly and hugged the other as well letting Hoseok scent him. “Your scent is really picking up, your rut has fully hit now. I never smelt honey like this it’s actually amazing.”

Hoseok didn’t answer, very busy covering Kikwang with as much of his potent rut scent as possible. The beta just let him without any issue. While rut and heat scent didn’t get to Kikwang as much as it did most people, he still could feel the effect that Hoseok had on him. His body was relaxed and calm and he was fine with being heavily scented by the youngest.

Kikwang wasn’t sure what he expected, they had all seen the scars on Hoseok’s body, both the self-inflicted and the once from his family pack. They had even gotten Hoseok to be comfortable with having his shirt off, something that was actually a huge step for him, but that also meant that they knew how bad Hoseok’s harming of himself had actually been during ruts.

He wasn’t sure what he could expect from Hoseok. But he was happy that he found Hoseok willingly letting the rut take over his body and he was happy with letting both of their shirts being thrown across the room.

So the other thing was that Hoseok had a good body, while some idols looked starved… mainly because they were, Hoseok was strong from dancing and seemed to be one of the few idols that understood that he actually needed to eat, which small miracles.

Kikwang couldn’t stop himself from running his hands up the front of Hoseok’s chest, he ignored the few lines there was on the front, while not ignoring them, treating them like they weren’t important. Yoseob a few days earlier had tried to pay attention to the scars, as to show Hoseok that they accepted him with them. But instead it backfired with Hoseok feeling extremely uncomfortable with people touching them, so he ended up with half hiding away.

The beta knew that Hoseok had said that his rut was only half sexual he could feel without a doubt, most alphas were half gone at this point all they could think about was skin to skin contact. But Hoseok is clearly affected by his rut, was still clear-minded. He took his time slowly rubbing as much of his potent honey scent as he could into Kikwang’s skin.

The thing was that Kikwang was getting more turned on by the minute. He could feel the effect of the rut getting to him slowly as well.  Hoseok’s skin against his was warm and nice but for Hoseok’s he held it in and ignored the slow burning flame of desire. Letting himself be felt up and down with Hoseok resting between his legs, still holding his hands on the alpha’s body making sure that Hoseok knew that he was still there.

Kikwang wasn’t sure how long there were there, he never in his life had gotten such a… thorough scenting that was sure. All he knew that they were both down to their underwear, that he was painfully hard and Hoseok had spent at least 20 minutes scenting and rubbing his hips and thighs. Only once did it seem that Hoseok was about to finally give Kikwang his release as the dancers hands glided over his ass and a soft bite slash hickey was placed on his thigh.

The worst part was that Kikwang knew that Hoseok was turned on as well! He knew that because he could see the alpha himself straining his underwear and the scent of arousal was mixing nicely with the rut and honey.

As another hickey was placed on Kikwang’s thick thighs the door to the nest was opened, not that either Hoseok nor Kikwang noticed, both a little too busy to actually notice. It was first when the mattress next to Kikwang’s head had dipped down and a cold hand from the winter outside, was placed on the beta’s heated skin, that he noticed that Junhyung had arrived home.

“Look at you, you are strung out and almost desperate now, and you smell like honey and so sweet.” Kikwang looked up at Junhyung, but when he tried to answer, no sound came out other than a low moan as a kiss was placed on top of the newly formed hickey.

Normally this far into a rut, alpha’s would be completely gone and run by their instinct to be close to either their pack and friend, to rub their scent all over people. It was a testament to the self control Hoseok had when he looked up from Kikwang’s thigh, which he had been busy marking up, and his eyes while slightly glazed over. He was still clearly in control of himself.

“Too much?” The way Hoseok was biting his lower lip made both the beta and omega think of his mouth in other places.

Junhyung laughed in a light tone as he couldn’t stop himself from reaching over and pinching Kikwang’s right nipple. “Kikwang is just a little sensitive to teasing, it is so easy to make him desperate and pliant.”

“I just… I wanted him to smell like me.” Hoseok looked a little shy like he hadn’t been aware of how much he had actually been marking the beta under him or the state he had put them both in. He had just wanted to cover Kikwang’s own fresh scent of newly opened books with Honey.

Only at that moment did he notice the low simmering arousal in his stomach, and the clear scent of both the omega and beta found his nose. He could feel his inner alpha turning his attention to Junhyung as a) the omega was fully dressed and b) he didn’t wear any of Hoseok’s scent.

Junhyung cooed as he saw the alpha’s confused look, he had to remind himself that it was Hoseok’s first time spending his rut with somebody else. They had to help guide the younger a little. Junhyung threw his shirt across the room, and climbed over so he could press a kiss to Hoseok’s mouth. His lips were covered with his own saliva and slightly swollen, from how he had done his best to drive Kikwang insane. “Let’s finish our poor beta off before he actually starts crying over the teasing.”

“It was once!” Kikwang mumbled but was interrupted by further protest as Junhyung pressed lightly onto the hickey in the other's thigh.

Hoseok looked a little lost, he wasn’t sure what to do next. It was kind of cute. Hoseok might be 22, but he was basically still a baby alpha in this way, and Junhyung was more than happy to guide the alpha.

By guiding Hoseok’s hands, it took little to no effort to have Kikwang bend his spine in an almost impressive fashion as he finally came, by the combined effort of both Hoseok and Junhyung.

The alpha looked almost impressed that he had been able to do that, would he be able to do that with his own pack as well? Even though he was an alpha, would he be able to bring pleasure and love?

As another hour past, more scenting and even less cloth was happening, after all of them had reached an end it ended with a lot of naked cuddling, they all knew that Hoseok’s rut would be fairly short. With only one omega and two betas to three alphas it wasn’t meant to be very long.

When Kikwang had finally gained back a more stable mental state, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing a little at how both him and Junhyung seemed to be covered in small love bites. It wasn’t the same kind of overly big and possessive bites that some alpha’s in rut seemed to favor. No it was smaller cute ones that made Kikwang feel slightly giddy inside. He and Junhyung did seem to be on the same side as they ended up pushing the not so baby, but really actual baby alpha down into the soft mattress and return the favor.

They were all cuddled up naked on top of the bedding when the door once again opened and the soft scent of maple sap and soft alpha entered the room. For a second everybody, other than Hoseok tensed up, this was the real test. This was what was really going to be the test, this was what would make it or break it for Hoseok if he could accept Doojoon into his rut like this. Then it would be no issue for him to accept other alphas hopefully.

Luckily the only person who didn’t tense up was Hoseok. Instead he blinked tiredly, in his still rut filled mind he noticed Doojoon, he noticed an alpha that had treated him with nothing but kindness. He noticed somebody who he saw as a close friend standing awkwardly in the doorframe, and most importantly. He noticed somebody who wasn’t naked and cuddling!

He sleepily opened his arms towards the soft pack alpha, to signal that he wanted the older to join in the cuddling. In his not rut filled mind he would probably have been hesitant to state his need for closure and cuddles like this, but in his current state, he had no issue.

Hoseok couldn’t stop himself from giving a little whine as Doojoon didn’t seem to move as fast as Hoseok wanted him to. If it wasn’t because Hoseok was tired from the sexual energy he had used earlier, he would probably have noticed how all Beast members currently present cooed a little. Doojoon knew better than to question something good and he was quick as letting his clothes join the rest of theirs on the floor before crawling into the cuddle puddle now.

“Nap now.” Hoseok mumbled as he hugged Doojoon close, he felt… safe, around the alpha.

And without a doubt Hoseok knew it, his inner alpha finally accepted the truth, Hoseok was safe. It could stop being scared, it could relax and for the first time since Hoseok got the bite and joined the BTS pack… The pack connection to Jungkook and Yoongi opened up, he no longer feared them, they were going to be okay.

Hoseok’s rut didn’t end up lasting more than 1½ half day as they had expected, but there did end up being a lot more fooling around, mainly consisting of Hoseok scenting and touching all other three idols. He did end up under the guidance of both Doojoon and Kikwang slowly, oh so damn slowly, opening up Junhyung.

While he had gotten the permission to knot the older omega, Hoseok who somehow even in rut had perfect control of his body gave a small shake of his head. He would later explain that he felt that he wanted to save the first time he knotted with somebody, to his own pack. Which none of the other idols could really blame him for. The first time an alpha knotted could be an overwhelming and mind-blowing experience.

Hoseok only had one week left with Beast after the rut, and he didn’t expect anything to really happen in that team, he was back with practicing with the rest of BTS every day and talking eagerly and happily with his pack every day. The best moment Hoseok had had was after a practice and he had walked up to Jungkook. The younger alpha looked confused and worried for a moment.

It was at that moment that they both realized, just how little they had talked and been together after Jungkook had presented. Jungkook knew that Hoseok was lowkey scared of him, that was the reason that the baby alpha looked confused as Hoseok walked close to him and then… Kissed him.

After the kiss Jungkook just kinda stood there, looking confused with his eyes peeled open like a deer caught in the headlights. “You… I… We are okay?”

Hoseok just nodded. “Yeah, we are okay, we are gonna be okay.”

Hoseok really believed it, that they were gonna be okay.

But there was one last test of Hoseok to come through. One last test that would test how comfortable and calm he was in his knew found alphaness, and that test came in the shape of Beast’s former pack and group member… Hyunseung.

So Hoseok didn’t have a good view of Hyunseung. He had taken very closely to Yoseob, the person who was the most hurt by the loss and in Hoseok’s eyes, betrayal. By saying that Hoseok had never actually thought he would meet the other last remaining Beast member.

One of the last days that Hoseok was staying with Beast he was waiting for Yoseob in the front room of the companies building. Waiting for the older omega to finish his gym session, with all that Beast, but especially Yoseob had done for Hoseok. He really wanted to thank the elder, which he had decided to do by taking him out to dinner. Dinner at some crazy health place that Hoseok had found on google.

He was happily humming around along to Mama, even if the song wasn’t out yet. He was very proud of it, and couldn’t wait to show it to the world. With how busy he was with destroying green pigs with birds, he didn’t actually notice Hyunseung at first. It was first when the almost chokingly heavy sweet scent of sweet chili, that he noticed him. The scent was so strong, Much stronger than Hoseok was used to from an omega.

He had smelt that scent on the hoodie that Yoseob thought none of them knew about, but that scent was much fainter and weaker since it hadn’t been worn by its owner for so long. The real-life scent of Hyunseung was much more different.

Hoseok would love to be able to say that it was a terrible scent, that he hated it. But that would straight up be a lie, Hyunseung had a very pleasant and likable scent. Which annoyed him.

He didn’t look up, he kept staring at his phone, hoping that the omega would just walk past him that he didn’t have to deal with it or think about it. He didn’t want to even look at Hyunseung again. He didn’t think he would ever be able to look at him with the respect he should be giving an older idol.

“Hey, you are that fake alpha that is hanging around with the guys right.” Well okay ignoring Hyunseung did not seem to be an option it turned out.

Hoseok looked up “Me?” Maybe playing dumb was gonna get the other to leave him alone.

“Yeah you, you are that BTS fake alpha right? Damn, I knew they missed me and was willing to downgrade. But picking an alpha that is too much of a pussy to be an actual alpha, that almost hurts my feelings.” Hyunseung was standing in front of him now, much closer to him than Hoseok felt comfortable with, hands on the side of his hips and smirk on his face.

He looked like a cunt.

A beautiful cunt… but still a cunt, Hoseok’s opinion might be tainted though.

“I am staying with Beast right now yes.” Hoseok choose to ignore the words coming out of Hyunseung’s mouth. They stung yeah, but maybe if he gave no reaction he would be left alone, maybe the other would just leave.

“I knew that Yoseob was a pathetic little shit, but damn I didn’t know he was this desperate. Glad I got out of that, they were getting boring.” At that Hoseok’s entire body became tense, and he could feel how his inner alpha was acting up.

Hoseok was fine with Hyunseung insulting him, he didn’t care. He knew that Hyunseung could be rude and that he just wanted a rise out of people. He knew that from Doojoon and from Namjoon, (Who disliked Hyunseung more than Hoseok, which was impressive.)

The thing was that Hoseok was not fine with him insulting Yoseob. Yoseob was too damn good for Hyunseung to take his name in his dirty mouth. Yoseob was too good for Hyunseung  “Don’t you dare say that about him. He loves you.”

“I know, it was fun. But it was getting boring. He was too clingy for me. I hate omegas like that, too damn clingy, same as Kikwang and Dongwoon, what use are betas anyway? You don’t need them.” Hyunseung’s smirk widened and Hoseok could almost feel his blood run hot, how fucking dare he!

“They loved you! Some of them still love you and this is how you treat them! Do you have any respect for the time you spent with them?! You were a pack!” Hoseok was up from the chair he was sitting in. While he still kept a good space between him and Hyunseung, he felt like they were more on equal footing with the omega.

Hyunseung just shrugged. “It not like I actually loved them, they were just too stupid to realize it. I needed somewhere easy to be and having somebody fill out my needs was just easy. You really think I would love a pack like them they are like? Beast as a group, just a temporary thing that I have no need for in the long run.”

Hoseok had to take a few seconds to center himself so he didn’t do or say something he regrets, but Hyunseung didn’t seem to be done yet. “And who are you to speak? You’re from a dysfunctional pack. You are too much of a pussy to even wanna be an alpha! I am insulting your so-called friends and you. But you don’t dare speak up, do you? Nope, you are just a scared little alpha, nobody likes alphas who can’t protect. So listen closely little pretend alpha,” the omega was up in his personal space and grabbed at Hoseok’s face holding it in one hand so Hoseok couldn’t look away, so he was forced to stare into Hyunseung’s eyes, “You are not normal, you will never be.”

Hoseok could feel his inner alpha, he wanted to protect and defend. One part of him wanted to hide away and be ashamed, wanted to be what Hyunseung accused him off, another part of him wanted to put the omega in his place. But that wasn’t who Hoseok was anymore, he was not ashamed of being an alpha nor of himself. That was what he realized in that moment, Hyunseung’s words had no power over him.

But he was not gonna put his hand on Hyunseung either. He was never going to be an alpha like that, he could control this. His inner alpha did not control him, he controlled it. He was an adult, he could handle things with words. “At least I am not pining for a pack that doesn’t want me, nor have ever thought of wanting me.” Yes, hit him in his desire for BigBang! “At least I am not washed up, and my career is still going.” Hit him in the low numbers for his solo. “At least I didn’t leave behind not only the only reason fans cared about me, and at the same time left behind the people who loved me the most.” Hit him on how people are more loyal to Beast and to the backlash he got for leaving Beast. “And at least the rest of your former pack members will have a career that eclipses yours when the leave while you will be shackled to this company that does not care about you, and while they will be selling out arenas maybe a few fans will pity listen to your releases… maybe.”

With soft hands and touch, Hoseok removed Hyunseung’s hands from his jaw. “We have nothing to talk about, you don’t know me and you never will. I don’t associate with trash.” It was such an unHoseok thing for him to say. But this was for every word he had heard from Yoseob with lingering guilt and longing.

It was for Namjoon hovering around his phone after TOP had picked Seungri up. It was for Doojoon being worried he wasn’t a good enough alpha because of Seunghyun. It was for Kikwang feeling lost in how to help his pack. This was for everybody Hoseok loved and cared for that had been hurt by that snake.

As if the timing was magical the door into the entrance opened on Yoseob exited, dressed casually after the gym, back over his shoulder. He stopped, but never got a second to question what was going on as Hoseok had grabbed his hand with a smile. “Let me show you the place I know you will like it!”

And with that, Hoseok’s last day with Beast ended with him eating terrible vegan food he pretended was good for Yoseob. The day after was the goodbye, which was hard, but still okay because he knew that he had made friends for life.

None of them would ever know what Hoseok had said to Hyunseung that day. Maybe looking back at it he felt guilty, but in the end he was proud of himself a little. He stood up for the people he loved, and for once… He wasn’t ashamed or scared of who he was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the vote was to keep the story as I planned on!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Namjoon's heat coming up next!
> 
> Also, I thought of making a twitter to keep people updated and stuff like that.
> 
> I hope people are still here reading!


	65. I will become a sad protagonist in this world. And I will hurt in place of you, I’ll become your wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this, 2 chapters in 3 days!

The first thing Namjoon did when he got back to his little living space was to open all the windows, it was so damn hot, why was it so hot?

So yeah Namjoon had been feeling a little overheated lately, but the last 12 hours it had gotten insane. In general, he had been feeling very beside himself, and he couldn’t explain why.

When he had gone to say goodbye to B.a.p, he found it hard to let go of Junhyung for some reason that he couldn’t explain, it was like his mind was telling him that he needed to hold the younger omega close and cuddle him.

The worst part was that for some reason, he could feel arousal burn low in his stomach, it wasn’t like he just wanted to cuddle and protect Junhyung, he wanted to touch the omega, he wanted the taller to touch him as well.

He had felt dirty when he finally left the dorm, and he knew that Jongup had noticed that something was wrong with him as well, the alpha had kinda been looking at him with his mind in thought, like he couldn’t place what was wrong, but that he knew for sure that something was wrong.

Now that he was home, and nobody was close to him, he had hoped that the weird feeling would disappear, but it hadn’t instead it was almost like it had gotten stronger, and opening the windows didn’t help! He threw himself on the bed, unable to keep a low whine in.

He was greeted by the plushie that Seungri had gotten him that was still laying in his bed, he couldn’t stop himself from burying his head in it and taking a deep breath.

Alpha….

Seungri’s scent was so alpha, it was so good, yes it was a lot softer than most alpha’s cause he was a soft alpha, but Namjoon liked it.

Namjoon could start feeling himself get turned on by the scent, NO! He half threw the plushie across the room, he couldn’t do that! Seungri was a real person, another idol that Namjoon looked up to. He would not enjoy Namjoon getting turned on by his scent, he would probably find it weird, and all the trust that they had built up between them would be gone, no he couldn’t do that.

What was wrong with him?

He didn’t know, but something wasn’t right that was for sure! He could ignore this! It was just him not good at being alone yet, yeah he should just ignore it. He decided he would start unpacking, yeah unpacking seemed like a good idea!

He slowly made his way through his cloth, hanging all the pieces up nicely, he hated when it had folds. That was until he hit a plastic bag that was locked, it was the hoodie that Jiho and Kyung had given him, mostly he had tried to avoid using it for scent and just kept it in the scent locked bag.

But now, it would be okay for him to just smell it briefly, right? Just for a little while, he was gonna go and stay with Block B in a few days anyway, and there he would be surrounded by all their scents. So using the hoodie for a little while would be okay, right?

As he unpacked the hoodie and buried his head in it, the scent of vanilla bourbon and fig exploded in his nose, this was some of the scents he was the most used to. This was scents that he had known longer than he had known BTS, longer than he had present, other than his family pack. This was safe.

While different sub-genders scent did different things, and Namjoon thought he was gonna be safe since it was the scent of two beta’s, he turned out to be wrong, it happened again. He could feel the low flames of arousal burning low in his stomach, no not again!

He pushed the hoodie away from his mouth with more force than he should probably be proud of, the innocent fabric landing on the ground with a soft sound. Namjoon was staring at it with big wide open eyes “What?”

He felt slightly scared of his own body for once, and worst of all, he could feel how his body had started producing slick, it started to get him wet and ready, what was wrong with him? Namjoon wasn’t sure what to do, he wasn’t sure why his body was betraying him!

He didn’t wanna be turned on!

The worst part was that he didn’t know what to do, he had no idea why it was suddenly happening, in his panic he didn’t think of the most logical thing to do, which was to google his symptoms and his issues.

Instead he did what he had gotten used to doing, when he was having issues with his omega self and with his inner omega in general, he rushed to his phone and while trying to keep in tears that were threatening to fall he called the number of the one person that he trusted and believed could answer his questions.

He called Daesung.

Daesung was luckily quick at picking up his phone, the older omega sounded out of breath, which was probably from the gym, Namjoon knew that it was his gym time “Joonie? I thought you said you were going to nap when you got home? Still, struggle to be alone?”

It was always nice the feeling of how much Daesung actually cared about him, he always treated Namjoon like he was something pressures. Which always made Namjoon blush lightly, even over the phone.

“I think there is something wrong with me,” Namjoon voice was shaking, and he was almost sure that Daesung could hear the tears in his voice over the phone.

The reaction from Daesung was instant, his voice got as soft as possible “Joonie please you need to calm down a little, and tell me what is wrong.”

Namjoon followed his advice and tried to breath a little deeper as to center himself, “my body is doing really weird things, and I can’t stop it.” He was a little shy to tell what was actually wrong with his body, it was kinda a… weird topic to talk about with the older idol.

“What is the syntopes? Are you sick?” Daesung sounded worried and Namjoon could hear him move out of the gym.

“It started earlier today, I am so warm, every single one of my windows are open and I am still, way to warm, I don’t know what it is wrong with my body, but it is like it can’t regulate to the air around it.” Namjoon was shy and mumbled the next part of the sentence was mumbled into his sleeve “and every time I smell somebody else's scent I get turned on, I don’t know what it is. While I have different reactions to different sub-genders, I still get turned on for some reason, even when I don’t want to and there is nothing sexual about the situation.”

It took a few moments for Daesung to actually answer, but his answer was very serious when he did “Namjoon close all your windows now, please fast, stay on the line while you do it. We will keep talking after.” there was something in Daesung’s voice there weren’t to be argued with.

Namjoon was quick at doing as he was told, walking slowly around and closing the windows that he had opened, it wasn’t like they had really helped him cool down or helped in any way, but closing them did for some reason feel bad. He couldn’t explain why, but he felt like he needed them open for other reasons than just to cool down.

As he closed the last window, it was hard for him to keep in a whine that he couldn’t explain “Are they closed now?” Daesung’s voice was more relaxed at that moment, and Namjoon just hummed a yes as he threw himself on his bed.

He felt a lot calmer now that he was talking with Daesung, he couldn’t explain why, but even over the phone, the older omega’s voice was calming to him, “Why did you want me to close them?”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from pushing his face down into the bedding, where a little bit of the scent plushies scent was still lingering in it. Daesung’s voice was had dropped a little to be as soft as it could, in the back of his mind Namjoon wanted to giggle at how much Daesung must have to strain his voice to make that voice, but the main part of his brain was just focusing on how pleasant the voice was “Are you calmer now?” another hum from Namjoon “This is gonna sound very weird and intrusive Joonie, but are you producing slick right now.”

A blush flared up in Namjoon’s tanned cheeks at the question, but he couldn’t and shouldn’t lie to Daesung when the older was clearly trying to help him “Yes, it started 20 minutes ago, it won't stop.” he knew that he sounded slightly whiny, something that wasn’t normal for him, but his hormones were acting up for some reason.

“Joonie baby, you are going into heat. Remember how Doctor Choi said that there was a chance that you wouldn’t be a having a real preheat, the reason for that being that your body has been waiting for a heat since you were 18. That is why I needed you to close to windows, I don’t know how strong your scent is yet, but I don’t want to risk you attracting alpha’s with no self-control.” A closing door was heard from Daesung’s side as the other clearly had found a place to lock himself while he talked to Namjoon.

Namjoon could feel the slight tinged of fear running up his spine, while the idea of an alpha touching him felt good, he didn’t want it to be a stranger! No, that was scary, and he was glad that not only had he closed his windows he had also locked them “heat?”

“Yes I am almost 100 percent sure that you are about to start your heat, Joonie I don’t wanna scare you, but your first heat is gonna be strong. It has been suppressed for so long. You can’t do this alone.” Daesung’s voice was still soft, but it also had an edge to it at that point, it was clear that this was not a point that he was willing to argue on.

That, of course, didn’t mean that Namjoon wasn’t gonna argue with him about it, “but Mark went through his heat alone, omega’s can go through heat alone!”

Daesung sighed a little, “It’s different for you tho, this isn’t just ‘a heat’ this is your first heat that has been surprised for so many years, I don’t want to scare you, but this one is gonna be rough for you, and it’s your first, you nor your body knows how to deal with it. You don’t know how your inner omega is gonna react to a heat, please I beg you Joonie, don’t do this alone. I see you as a close friend, and I don’t want any of my friends to be hurt.”

The olders voice sounded almost slightly desperate, Namjoon knew from talking to Daesung so much that he really cared for his friends, and he was very blessed to be one of those friends that Daesung cared so much about, but in that moment he wanted to not listen to him. While the thought of anybody touching him, no matter the sub gender, sounded amazing, he wasn’t sure how to get to that “I don’t have a pack.”

He hated how pathetic and weak his tone of voice sounded, he was still lying in his bed with his face buried in the bedding half speaking into it, as he was breathing in the sweet scent of candy apples.

“You have five packs courting you, just please choose one of them, any of them, even if it’s just two of the members. You can’t be alone in this, it’s not possible, please don’t do this.” Daesung could clearly hear that Namjoon was very seriously considered to disregard what he was saying and do it alone.

“But if I choose one of them to spend my heat with, then it’s like I am giving them an advantage, it is like I am saying that I will pick them, which I am not ready to pick you! Please tell me that you understand, I don’t want people to feel sad, or to feel like I am not giving them a chance. I don’t even know who I would pick! Who said they would even come here now and spend my heat with me? What if they are busy? What if they don’t want to?” Namjoon could feel himself starting to panic slightly with all the questions there were in his mind, he hadn’t thought that this would be a question that he would have to answer to early.

“Namjoon you are panicking again, you can’t panic right now, your inner omega is gonna get really confused and it can be bad for your heat, take a few deep breaths.” Namjoon was quick to do what told be the older omega, in general, Daesung was easy to follow the guidance of “What about friends that aren’t courting you?”

Namjoon thought about it for a second, really thought “I don’t really have any, the only other I have the rest of BTS are staying with, and don’t want to take away from them. Are you sure I can’t do this alone? I remember to eat and drink.”

Yeah, Namjoon could do it, right? How bad could it really be? He wasn’t 18, he might be a new omega, but he was a leader and an idol, he knew how to control himself. He didn’t really need somebody to take care of him! Yes, the thought of having somebody touch his overheated skin and to tell him that he was being good, was amazing, and maybe it forced a little bit more slick from Namjoon’s body.

Daesung didn’t agree on tho, the tone of his voice was the most worried that  Namjoon had ever heard him “No, you won't remember to eat and drink, this isn’t gonna be a normal heat,” he sounded like he was thinking for a second, and he sounded a lot more hesitant when he spoke up “Do you really not have any other choice?”

For a second Namjoon felt a little ashamed like he was admitting that he just had no friends, but that wasn’t true! He had friends, there we just busy doing other stuff. And he really couldn’t pick one of the packs that were courting him.

He was almost 100 percent sure, that one of those packs were gonna be his pack one day, Namjoon might not be sure which one of the packs was gonna end up as his, but he was sure that it was gonna be one of them. And the cause of that, he wanted to be fair, he didn’t want to seem like he was giving somebody an advantage, and that he was already preferring somebody over other people.

It wasn’t just for their fault, but also for his own. Namjoon didn’t know what a heat did to his mind, and he didn’t want to get a biased opinion of one of the packs courting him because of that, “no… there is nobody else.”

All he had was people back from his time as an underground rapper, and none of them had reached out to him after he presented, and he wouldn’t feel comfortable with them around him during a heat, Namjoon didn’t know what to do.

Luckily, Daesung seemed to have his back “I might have an idea how to help you, but it is only an idea, if you don’t feel comfortable with it, you just have to say so, and then we will find something else.”

“I trust you,” cause Namjoon did, Daesung had never been anything but kind to him.

“I could help you.”

For a few seconds the words were just hanging in the air, this was not what Namjoon had expected, that was not something he had ever even thought of as an option, it wasn’t that it was an unpleasant thought, just an unsuspected thought.

“Are you sure… Would the rest of your pack be okay with that?” Namjoon didn’t wanna get any form of negativity between him and the rest of Big Bang, even as they had slowly become more humans than idols and stars, Namjoon still didn’t want to risk them being mad with him.

“I think if anything, they would be very disappointed in me if I didn’t offer it. We are not some baby pack with lingering issues of self-esteem not fixed, we have been together for some many years now that we are comfortable and trust each other. Plus everybody here does really like you Jiyong is still slightly scared that you hate him because he did exactly what I told him not to, Youngbae thinks you are adorable, which I will admit might chance when he finds out that you are 7 and a half head taller than him. And Ri sees you as even more than a friend than I do.” Daesung's voice was back to being soft and supportive.

This was one of the reasons, why after meeting and talking to Big Bang so much, he was even more in awe of them as people, not just idols. They had what Namjoon hoped to have one day with his own pack, a working pack relation, where even in the hard times they could trust each other blindly, “would it really be okay?”

Namjoon couldn’t deny that Daesung’s idea made sense, it was the most logical option for him, “Of course it would be okay, but do you feel comfortable with this?”

The younger omega nodded into the bedding until he remembered that Daesung couldn’t actually see him which forced him to speak up “yeah, I trust you.”

So he was gonna do this.

But Daesung wasn’t done yet as he hesitated another second “I would like to bring Seungri, I know it seems like a lot of with both of us, but I’m not an alpha, and I would feel better knowing that there was an alpha here as well, and I think it might be better for you as well. Plus Ri is a soft alpha, which should hopefully help you a lot and make you more comfortable, but if you aren’t comfortable with it, we can do it just the two of us.”

For a second Namjoon wasn’t sure of his answer, he trusted Seungri, he really did. He talked a lot with the older and he was one of the nicest people Namjoon had meet, but he was also an alpha.

Namjoon had meet Seungri a few times in person, most of the time it had been Seungri seeking him out, but Namjoon had never had the ‘alpha’ reaction to Seungri, while yes he was clearly an alpha… He was also just very soft and sweet, and pair that with Namjoon thinking of Seungri’s scent of the plushie.

While yes it had turned him on, but that had been the heat. The scent itself had just made Namjoon feel safe, he made his choice “I trust Seungri as well, and I think you might be right.”

Even over the phone, Namjoon could almost hear the smile on Daesung’s face “That good, I need to pick up a few things and Seungri. Go take a cold shower to calm down and clean, then go take a nap. We will let us self in and make some food for all of us, okay?”

A calm had settled over Namjoon, he was going to be okay. He could trust the older idols “Okay.”

He went to hang up, but not to fast to miss Daesung's next sentence “We promise we will take good care of you Joonie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like there was a fair few of you that didn't see this coming!
> 
> So what happened was that when I planned this all out, it made no sense for the person Namjoon is to spend a heat with a pack courting him unless the heat actually came over him while there. He is way to polite to this, but this way I also get to put Namjoon with a very experienced alpha and omega, knowing that he will be safe.
> 
> We have two things for today, one! The lovely Korydwen wrote her own version of this story, but from Seokjin perspective! It is really good, and if you like a few of you have been missing some Seokjin you can get it all here! I will say that what happens in her story is not canon in mine.
> 
> [Read here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12310338/chapters/27985356)
> 
> Secondly!
> 
> I made a twitter, I will use it to keep people updated on my writing so I don't spam my tumblr. It will be small things like 'Oh this is how long it is now' or 'Oh I just wote this piece about (insert x)' or 'here let me show you are teaser'
> 
> [It can be found here!](https://twitter.com/PrussiaSheiala)
> 
> Other than that... Smut coming up next, with a lot of laughter, banter, and smiles.


	66. I believe you, I believe you Believe in me, believe in me. Because everything will pass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am late I know, I am moving tho and Exams >-<

A warm hand was rubbing Namjoon’s neck when he woke up, as he slowly started coming to life the first thing he noticed wasn’t actually the touch, but the calming scent of candy apples, and it wasn’t coming from the doll.

Even if scent dolls were meant to hold scent, and did it well, it would never beat fresh scent. Fresh scent was on a whole other level, especially fresh scent right next to Namjoon’s face. “Urg?”

Yes, Namjoon wasn’t much of a morning person, well waking up person was more right to say, since there wasn’t really much morning over the current time. He turned his body as to seek out where the sweet scent was coming from… alpha.

“Morning.” Seungri’s voice was clear and awake, and soft fingers returning to stroking Namjoon’s neck slowly pulling the omega from the depth of sleep.

“Morning.” Finally, Namjoon managed to force open his eyes, looking at the soft alpha in front of him.

Seungri looked very put together, actually way too put together. He was wearing a suit and bleached hair perfectly styled, light touches of makeup covering his face making his skin look dewy and fresh, “meeting?”

Namjoon yawned while trying to say it, making the word more slurred than he originally was going for. He knew that Seungri was a really busy guy, and it was almost to expect that the alpha had some kind of meeting.

The older idol nodded “Yeah, nothing important tho, did require a penguin suit.” Seungri petted his neck one last time, before reaching up to untighten his tie “I wish we could hold meetings in sweatpants.”

“Fashion is great” Namjoon had finally managed to sit up, rubbing his eyes a little “its a great way of expressing yourself.”

Seungri just pouted a little “You are Ji sounds the same, and then you put on ugly pants and call it fashion.”

“He has a great fashion sense.” Namjoon felt the need to defend Jiyong, he really looked up the Big Bang leader, and he did in all honesty like Jiyong’s fashion sense, it was at the time a little out there, but so was Namjoon’s and that was what made fashion so good.

“You were right! He still defends Ji’s terrible dress sense!” Seungri called out, oh yeah Namjoon had forgotten that it wasn’t just Seungri who was there, but Daesung was well.

To be honest, just having woken up combined with just how sweet and nice Seungri’s alpha scent was, made it kinda hard to focus too much. But he didn’t get to forget about the omega for long as Daesung made his way to the bedroom, apron on and hand in his sides “I told you he would, just like Jiyong called Joonies outfits of the day impressive. Where the rest of us call them weird.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from pouting “it’s high fashion.”

“High fashion doesn't mean good fashion, but that is a conversation I have realized years ago that I am never gonna win, did you sleep well?” Namjoon hadn’t seen Daesung in person since he met him just before his heat.

He had still seen him almost once every second day through his screen, but this was so much more different, a screen did not show Namjoon the sweet scent of blueberries, where Seungri’s scent had been soft since he was more used to it, Daesung’s scent was like a whole new world taking over.

Namjoon couldn’t explain nor stop himself, it was like something was possessing him as he got up from the bed and half attacked the much shorter male in a hug rubbing his face into the scent gland on his neck.

It was first seconds later when Namjoon felt Daesung’s arms wrap around him, that he actually noticed what it was he had done. He managed to pull his head from Daesung’s neck “Oh my god, I am so sorry, I don’t know what happened.”

Daesung just giggled low in his throat, as Namjoon felt another person… Seungri… Wrap his arms around both of them from behind “it’s your heat since it’s your first heat your body and mind aren’t really sure how to react, all your inner omega noticed was that there was another omega, and omega’s are safe.”

Daesung rubbed his face into Namjoon’s hair “your scent is coming through a lot more now, it's very nice, very unique, I am glad that your inner omega feels that it can trust me. That means a lot to me.”

“You have both always been kind to me, even when you had no reason to even know who I was. Of course, I trust you, every time I have had doubts about anything, regarding… anything, you guys have been there to answer the questions.” Namjoon was still taking big breaths of Daesung’s scent, it was really nice.

Namjoon could still feel the slow burn of desire low in his stomach, but now that he knew why it was there, he was fine with it, he could ignore it, mostly he was just calm with the sweet scent of omega around mixed with soft alpha.

“Maybe we should all sit down and have a talk before this kicks off,” Seungri’s voice sounded questioning, and Namjoon didn’t have to be able to see him know that he was looking at Daesung, for guidance, Namjoon still found it sweet how even if Seungri was an alpha, he clearly still respected Daesung and in many instances trusted his opinion over his own.

Namjoon could feel how the older omega nodded before he actually managed to hear him, “that sounds like a good idea, let's get some food in everybody’s stomach while we talk. If you are okay to move for now?”

Namjoon could easily have misunderstood Daesung's words like he was annoying the older omega, but the tone which it was said in, made it very clear that it was a legit question. Daesung did not want them to move unless Namjoon felt like he had gotten enough of the scent of the other, and that he felt comfortable moving.

“Yeah,” even after Namjoon said he was ready, it was still hard for him to move away from the sweet scent of blueberries. The scent was different from both the plushie that he had of the olders scent, but also from the scent there was last time he met Daesung.

Last time Daesung’s scent had been sweet with an underlying scent of heat, now Daesung’s scent didn’t clog up and fog his brain, it instead almost chased away the fog there was already in it, and allowed Namjoon to think clearly and be calm in himself.

The all made their way to the kitchen, which Namjoon first then noticed smelt nicely of home cooked meals, okay they tried to make their way to the kitchen. Seungri got a light push back to the bedroom “Go change, he is awake now. You don’t need to watch him like a hawk, you can go change into something less silly for a heat.”

The blush was clear in alpha’s complexion, but he just nodded and hurried away seeming a little shy, Daesung just giggled with a faint smile on his lips “Alpha’s they get silly around heat time, since I was making food, he didn’t want you to be alone and maybe having to wake up alone.”

Namjoon himself couldn’t stop from cooing a little, but also feel blessed “that’s really sweet of him.” He was still getting used to people looking after him.

“You say that now, that is until you have your own alpha, and that more or less find you incapable of wiping your own behind during a heat.” Daesung giggled at Namjoon slightly disturbed facial expression “don’t worry, Ri is just a soft alpha, he is a lot more chill around it. Seunghyun on the other side. He is the overprotective alpha.”

That was not how Namjoon expected the oldest rapper to be “that is very different from his public persona.”

“He is very silly at times, most times, but there is a reason that he is our pack alpha. He is the best pack alpha we could ever want. He can even keep Jiyong in line, which is impressive at times. Sometimes I swear he tries to actively make us worry as much as possible. Long tours while he is close to his rut, Jiyong is silly.”

Daesung had busied himself shoving food on Namjoon’s plate while talking “I know I said it before, but I am still so sorry for Ji, I told him not to do it, but silly alphas are silly sometimes.”

Namjoon, on the other hand, was almost salivating at the smell of food, he hadn’t noticed just how hungry he was. When had he last eaten? He had been so busy panicking over the start of his heat, that he hadn’t really had time to focus on food. It looked so good “He cares about you and Seungri, he wanted to see what kind of person I was.”

“Silly overprotective alpha’s, my preheat had just started there, which is one of the reasons that he was being a dummy.”

“I assume we are talking about Ji?” Seungri was much more calmly dressed then, wearing sweatpants and a shirt ripped in more than one place from wear “He forgets that he can be scary when you don’t know him.”

“He used to scare Ri.” Daesung was now happily eating as well, joining Namjoon in the mission to eliminate the well-smelling food.

Seungri pouted a little “that is not my fault! I wasn’t even sure if I was gonna be allowed to stay in Big Bang the group, and he hated me!”

“Ji hated everybody who wasn’t Youngbae,” Daesung looked over at Namjoon, “when we first started as a group, it was… complicated. Jiyong still didn’t wanna be an idol, he wanted to be a hip-hop group just with Youngbae, and Seungri was the easiest person to take it out on. Since he was the one who fitted the idol mold the best.”

“How did you end up as a pack after that?” Namjoon was a little hesitant to ask, he didn’t want to seem like he was preying on information.

Daesung who was actually an angel in disguise understood him tho, he smiled that infamous eye smile at Namjoon, well as much as he could with a pair of chopsticks still half stuck his mouth “don’t feel afraid to ask question, we are spending your heat with you, it’s important that we talk, and get comfortable with each other, when we are done with this and have cleaned up. We are gonna go and cuddle and just talk. Since it’s your first heat, and it’s gonna be a hard one, we are gonna try and hold out for as long as we can before. It’s best if we see how long you can go with just cuddles and hugs, as to not push your body to fast.”

Seungri just hummed as an answer, to busy shoving food in his mouth to give a real answer, Daesung instead picked up where he had stopped “It was a slow growth, to be honest, some packs and groups I have talked it, slotted into it almost the same time that they meet, but for us, and I think for most groups that go through something that is more like a survival show it is different. And then there was the issue with omega, as people started presenting, everybody was alphas. With how I look, nobody actually expected me to be an omega. I had an idea that I might be an omega, it just always felt right for me, but I wasn’t sure if I were projecting the need for us to have an omega.”

Things started to make more sense now “so when you presented you formed the pack, without giving it much of a second thought? That is why you actually reached out to me? Cause you were worried that I would do the same?” Namjoon still at times questioned, why it was that somebody like Daesung had taken interest in him.

Daesung nodded “yeah, while it worked out for me, I have seen times where it didn’t work out.”

That lead to a question that Namjoon hadn’t had the guts the answer before “how did you find out about me being in the hospital? I didn’t even expect any of you to know who I am, let alone caring.”

“Jiho” Namjoon tilted his head to the side a little confused, so Daesung explained “Jiho and Youngbae had stuff they were gonna work on the day after your presentation, so he had to call Youngbae and explain why he couldn’t get there. Youngbae being the overly protective mother he is inside, asked more questions and I were there with him. So we got the whole story from him, and I was with Youngbae when he got the call, that was how I found out.”

“Thank you, I am not sure that I would have done the right thing if you hadn’t talked to me. I thought I owed it to BTS to join their pack, I didn’t think that anything else was an option.” Namjoon smiled a little shyly, he was still a little shy over how much Daesung had affected him, “I am not counting them out an option, cause I know that it might well be them I belong with, but I am testing to waters and seeing other options, and if BTS is the right place for me… I will end up with them.”

Daesung had such a proud smile on his lips, that Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little, a groan was instead heard from Seungri “Why are omegas so cute?”

The rest of the meal went on with only small talk filling it, mainly between Seungri and Daesung as Namjoon was busy shoving food in his mouth, he knew that it was just the heat speaking, but for once he didn't’ feel the thought calling him disgusting and telling him that he needed to eat less. He just felt angry, and felt the need to eat, which he happily did, who knew Daesung could make good food? Maybe there was a little bit of omega stereotype in the well-built omega.

Namjoon and Seungri helped Daesung clean the plates like good little minions, okay Seungri helped, Namjoon was kinda just hugging Daesung’s back. He couldn’t explain his need to be close to the omega, but he just needed to be close, the sweet blueberry scent was centering him.

Luckily both of the elders seem to understand him, and just go with it. Seungri would often softly put his hand on Namjoon’s nape and pet it, Daesung would pet his arms where they had wrapped around him from behind. A few times they would tease Namjoon about being so tall and lanky.

Namjoon would, in turn, poke back, with how he wasn’t tall, they were just short, which were also true. As Namjoon had gotten to know more about Big Bang and their members one thing that stood out to him was how short they all were. Like yes, it was common knowledge that their official heights were fake, but they were… cute height, and with some impressive insoles.

He could still feel the slow burn of lust growing low in his stomach, but he had listened to what Daesung had said, he knew that he just needed to hold on a little while more, he needed to see how long he could ignore it.

Namjoon didn’t really notice that they were done with cleaning the dishes before Seungri gently poked his nose “you still there?”

He looked a little confused at first, Namjoon had been focused on breathing in the sweet scent of omega, “Yes… uhm… Yes.”

“You feel comfortable moving to your bedroom and just cuddle, we should still have a few hours before it becomes too much for you, and we want you to be comfortable with us.” Seungri was lightly petting Namjoons hair, and the youngest couldn’t stop himself from humming in contentment.

The scent of candy apples and blueberries mixed well together, and Namjoon for the first time ever could actually smell his own scent as well and how it was starting to mix with the others.

He knew that he was still leaking slick, while he was wearing a slick pad to stop it from ruining his underwear and shorts, he was pretty sure that the two others could smell it, but they never pointed it out or acted like they could, they just had perfect self-control.

Namjoon let himself be lead to the bed, and it didn’t take them long to find a comfortable position to cuddle in, for other people it might look weird, with Namjoon being so much taller and being the middle spoon. Seungri was cuddled up behind him, petting his hipbone while having his face hidden in Namjoon newly dyed locks.

Daesung was in front of Namjoon when they had managed to find a way where all their limbs were comfortable Daesung gathers Namjoon’s head in his hands “I am going to kiss you now, is that okay?”

It was nice that Daesung actually asked, but he was pretty sure that nobody ever was gonna say no to getting kissed by the olders plump lips, so he just nodded and leaned a little forward. He wasn’t sure if it was the heat or just himself, but he was eager to feel the other's lips against his.

When they finally met in a kiss, it was everything that Namjoon had ever thought it would be, Daesung's lips were soft and plump, with the faint taste of the lip palm he seemed to favor. Namjoon could feel himself almost lose himself to the kiss, which yeah that was without a doubt the heat speaking, he couldn’t stop from focusing on the two's bodies close to him, how he felt warm, protected and safe.

How an alpha was holding him close from behind, in a protective hold and how Daesung was lightly nipping at his lower lip, how both their scents were rushing over him.

As Daesung broke the kiss Namjoon was slightly out of breath, pupils blown and leaking more slick than he ever had in his life before, but most importantly.

He felt safe and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will once again plug my twitter where I give updates and share different weird information:
> 
> [You can find it here](https://twitter.com/PrussiaSheiala)
> 
> Next up smut!


	67. Do you have room, by any chance? Do you have room for me to go in? Just you and me alone

Things had naturally progressed to a state where all three idols were only dressed in their underwear, Namjoon was enjoying the skin against skin feeling, but every time he thought it was gonna go farther, he got gently spoken down by the older omega.

But it wasn’t in a way where Namjoon felt undesirable, he knew that both Seungri and Daesung were feeling the eat as well. He could feel Seungri’s erection pressing up against his ass, and equally, he could feel Daesung's pressing against his own erection.

It was this natural reaction to Namjoon’s in heat body, that made sure that the younger was still feeling desirable. The conversation was still easily flowing between them, only interrupted when Namjoon felt the need well up in him, as he pressed closer to Daesung almost begging for those plush lips to be pressed against his own, a need that the other omega was only too happy to feed.

Namjoon could feel how Daesung and Seungri had their fingers intertwined on Namjoon’s hip and he couldn’t stop but sigh for a second “I hope that I one day will get a pack like yours.” That sounded like the dream if you asked Namjoon.

He could feel that Seungri pressed a kiss to his shoulders, he had taken to litter Namjoon’s back, shoulders, and neck, with small loving kisses and playful nips, “What do you mean by a pack like ours?”

It was hard to focus at times when Seungri, in teasing fashion, kissed close to where Namjoon’s scent gland was located, again he was stricken by how good Seungri’s self-control was. The older idol was an alpha, yes he might be a soft alpha, but he was still an alpha, and he could kiss so close to where Namjoon’s heat scent was coming from, and still stay in control. How did he do it?

Namjoon knew that alphas were even more affected by omega heats than omega’s were by alpha ruts, and Namjoon had more or less lost himself to Jackson’s rut. God Seungri and Daesung were so good to him, he could never have dreamed of something treating him better.

“I mean unproblematic and just working,” Namjoon couldn’t deny that he was a little jealous of how well the older idols pack worked, it all seemed so picture perfect. Like somebody had taken it out of a movie or a badly written romance novel by a novice writer.

Daesung laughed a little, not it was closer to a giggle than anything “It might seem like that from the outside, but every pack has their own issues.”

Namjoon had a hard time beliving that, the BigBang pack, just worked so well, ti was hard to think that, they would have any kind of issues, “like how?” he had started to believe that the other two actually meant it, when they said that he could ask everything he wanted.

For a second there was silence, not an awkward silence, but thinking silence “You have to remember that we have been a pack for many many years, we have had time to fall into ourselves, but even still, we have issues.”

Seungri took over from Daesung “I still struggle at times accepting my own sub gender, I don’t think any of us, me the least expected me to be an alpha. It was a curveball.”

“But you are such a good alpha,” Namjoon couldn’t even really wrap his head around the idea of Seungri as an omega, it was such a weird thought.

It earned Namjoon another kiss to his nape “Thank you, I mean it, but it is hard to me at times. That doesn’t mean that I hate being an alpha, cause I really don’t but at times… mainly during my rut, being a soft alpha is hard.”

Namjoon nodded a little, he kinda understood what Seungri was talking about, he had had a few conversations with Youngbae about the differences between soft alpha’s and normal alpha’s, plus hard omega’s and normal omega’s. That, of course, didn’t mean that soft alpha’s and hard omega’s weren’t normal, cause they were! Something that Youngbae had made very sure that Namjoon understood, Youngbae was also an angel in disguise.

He had so many patients with Namjoon when he had no real reason to be, he answered all of Namjoon’s questions about sub-genders, and everything like that, and he didn’t it without ever making Namjoon feel stupid or belittle him.

If anything he just seemed happy to share the information with the younger.

Then it was Daesung’s turn to speak, “and then there is Jiyong’s inability to communicate what he needs, more than once he has tried to go through a rut alone during his own solo tour. Since he and Ri are always the once getting accused of cheating, Ji has gotten this idea that he should never touch anybody, not in a pack with, which is stupid. It’s a normal natural thing, damn he is even scared of hugging people.

That just sounded… stupid, everybody needed physical contact, it was a normal natural thing to need. The idea that Jiyong would deny himself that, and then during a rut, was… crazy to Namjoon.

The more he settled into his sub gender, the more that he slowly got a more confident in his own sub gender, the more he could see what he was missing, he couldn't’ ever imagine having to go back and denying himself the touch of other people.

He knew that it was something he was still gonna need even after he chooses a pack, and it wouldn’t always be from his pack, cause that wasn’t always gonna be an option “is he okay?”

  
Namjoon hadn’t talked much with Jiyong, while the older idols offer for Namjoon to stay at the Big Bang home if he needed to, was still fresh in his mind. He hadn’t talked much to him personally, most he had was if he had been talking to somebody else and Jiyong walked by.

It was clear that the rapper was still sorry for scaring Namjoon, he always said sorry, which would often earn him a light jab from who ever Namjoon talked to, with a snide comment that yes he should be sorry!

Daesung just shrugged “he is for now, but who knows when he is gonna do it again. We are very different people, we will always have a few issues and problems, no pack is perfect. What makes a good pack is how you deal with the issues, not if you have them.”

That did make sense to Namjoon, maybe he had been blinded by how Big Bang had seemed in public, that he hadn’t noticed how they really were, that did make sense. “I understand,” he hesitated for a second “Do you think I could have that with a pack? One day?”

Daesung just smiled soft, pecking him on the noose with those soft lips “No you will have a pack even better for you, cause it will be your pack.”

Daesung was an angel, that was what Namjoon had concluded, no human could be like this, was it weird that Namjoon since he was a heat kinda really wanted both Daesung to fuck him and he himself wanted to eat out Daesung… Also, he wanted to squish his cheek cause Daesung was adorable.

“Thank you,” it was weird that they could have so nice and chill conversations, as the same time as clearly all three of them was turned on, and Namjoon was leaking like a faucet.

After a good 10-20 minutes of mostly just Namjoon being petted, Namjoon finally had it in him to ask a question that he had wondered a while “Ri?” yes he had come to a point where he was on pet name basis with the other two idols.

“Yes?” While the alpha’s self-control was stupidly impressive, Namjoon could hear the edge of arousal and need in the other's voice, not that he could blame him. He was pretty sure that he himself, sounded desperate and whiny at times, cause he was.

“Why do even your own pack call you Seungri? Wouldn’t you prefer your actual name?” This was something that Namjoon had wondered for a long while, he had thought of changing his own stage name to something less… cringy. So to him, it was strange that Seungri, still go called his stage name by the rest of his pack.

Seungri just shrugged “we already have on Seunghyun, and what really name? Just… words that we have decided is what or who we really are. My stage name isn’t something silly like G-Dragon or Rap Monster, it is something that can actually work as a name. Seungri is who I am, no even better, Seungri is who I decided I am. While yes my family pack still calls me Seunghyun, I actually prefer Seungri. Seungri is that name that shows how far I have come, it symbolizes all the work that I have put into becoming this person. I wouldn’t even know who Seunghyun was anymore.

Seunghyun was a scared trainee who never thought he was gonna get a chance, Seungri is a successful businessman who believes in himself. Seunghyun didn’t think he would ever find somebody he loved, who also loved him back, Seungri loves his pack more than anything else in this world, and couldn’t even think of what he would do without them. Seunghoon was slightly scared of Jiyong, Seungri loves him, but is also not afraid of calling him on his shit when he does stupid stuff.

Can you see what I mean, I have been Seungri so long, it is who I am today.”

Namjoon nodded slowly, what Seungri said was true, even if he thought of G-Dragon as Jiyong and of Taeyang as Youngbae, he didn’t think of Seungri as Seunghyun, he was always Seungri to Namjoon. Who was he to say which name Seungri should go by, he reasons made perfect sense, “I think I understand, I was just curious.” he didn’t want Seungri to think that he was doubting his choice.

The other just laughed a little as he pressed a kiss to his shoulders “I know, it’s okay to be curious.”

Another 10 minutes went by as they were just having light chat, Namjoon was slowly having a harder and harder time concentrating on what was happening around him, and most of the conversation was now flowing between Daesung and Seungri, while Namjoon just made small sounds in displeasement for no’s and hums of agreement for yes’s. Luckily it didn’t seem like the two older idols, expected him to be able to have a full-on communication, and Daesung seemed happy to just let Namjoon scent him while Seungri did the same to Namjoon.

Namjoon knew it was just the heat speaking, but he could swear that Daesung was slowly starting to smell better and better, and he couldn’t stop focusing on the spots where the others were pressed against him, he was feeling warm, but not warm enough, he needed them closer… He needed one of them inside him.

As that thought crossed his mind, he could feel how he started leaking more, and that was one the first wave heat him for real. He couldn’t stop a whine from escaping him, he was so hard, goddamn he needed something, anything, Namjoon couldn’t even keep control of his own thoughts anymore, so he did what he found the most logical, he half-whined out Daesung's name.

Which stopped the conversation that was currently going between the other two, Namjoon wasn’t sure what was going on, Namjoon was pretty sure that Seungri was talking about ramen, and that was all that Namjoon managed to hear, “Joonie you okay?”

Now Namjoon did find that to be a stupid question, he felt like he was burning up from the inside and if his ass could scream, it would scream about how empty it was and how it needed to be filled.

He whined low in his throat, a nice he couldn’t himself believe actually came from him, it was so weird and different, it wasn’t him, but Seungri seemed to understand, he managed to wriggle himself a little closer to Namjoon “It’s okay, your heat has started for real now.”

Daesung seemed to notice that as well, he pecked Namjoon a few times on the lips “I know it feels bad at the moment, and I know you feel like you can’t be in your own head, and your body is doing things you don’t want it to, but all you have to do is trust me and Seungri, we promise we can get your through this, you will never feel like we are going fast enough for you, but I promise we are going at the best speed for you and your body.”

Normally Namjoon would find it nice, and sweet, how Daesung kept talking slowly like this, while he kept communicating what they were going to do, but at that moment, Namjoon had enough of it. Why couldn’t they just understand that Namjoon needed them to move on! He needed the stuff to get moving at this point, “Dae I.. “ he struggled to explain what he wanted and needed, he struggled accessing his higher plane of thinking.

Daesung and Seungri both moved a little away from him, an almost desperate sound released it self from Namjoon’s throat, no why were they moving away, he needed them closer! I needed them almost impossibly much closer.

“Shhh it’s okay I promise we aren’t going anywhere, we just need a little bit of space so we can undress you baby.” the words said that Namjoon was almost like a buzzing like he could hear them, but he couldn’t understand what was actually being said to him.

He knew it was the heart, but he had never felt it before, how did Mark do this alone? How did anybody do this alone? Namjoon felt so lost in his own mind, only grounded by Seungri’s cold hands placing themselves on his hips and pulling down his underwear.

While it might only be a few seconds that Namjoon wasn’t in physical contact with somebody, but for him it felt like forever, but when the contact was finally made again, it made everything worth it for Namjoon, as he could never feel that both Daesung and Seungri was now joining him in being naked.

He could feel everything, with the two of them pressed up against him, and most importantly, he could feel their dicks, dicks he very much wanted and needed inside him. He couldn’t stop himself from pushing his hips and arse back into Seungri.

Namjoon could feel how Seungri’s erection slid between his cheeks, while it wasn’t close to penetrating him or anything like that, he could still feel it. A moan was forced from both Seungri and Namjoon, the younger could feel the alpha’s hands on his hips shaking as he was composing himself.

Namjoon, on the other hand, didn’t have the same issue, he ground back again, Seungri was smaller than other alpha’s, of course, that still meant that he was bigger than both Namjoon and Daesung, but they were omega’s, so that was to be expected.

But he was still sure that it could fill him up, maybe it was even better like this, maybe this way they didn’t have to do much prep.

They had already discussed stuff before it, it had been a long conversation for all of them since the two older idols wanted to make sure that Namjoon was actually okay with being knotted and that he was ready for it.

At first Namjoon had felt a little sad when Seungri seemed not to wanna knot him, but it had quickly been explained to him, with soft words and pets, that it didn't cause they didn’t wanna, it was more that when they found out that it was Namjoon’s first time taking a knot, they needed to make sure that he was okay with it. Seungri didn’t feel comfortable taking Namjoon’s first time like that from him unless he was 100% sure it was something he wanted.

Namjoon was sure tho, he trusted them, and now that he could feel the burn in his stomach and the heart in him, he was happy that he agreed and knew what he wanted when they had the talk. He knew them well enough by now, that if he had first said he wanted it during the heat, they wouldn’t listen to him since he wouldn’t be in the right state of mind.

Namjoon had always known and respected how important consent was, but Daesung and Seungri brought it to a new level, but not in a bad way, in a respectful and sweet way that made Namjoon’s inside tingle and butterflies flap around.

“Calm down Joonie, trust us.” Namjoon hadn’t really noticed just how much he had tensed up and had moved to hurry things up.

But as soon as he tensed up and pushed, both the older idols were there to calmly and sweetly guide him down again, Daesung pushed his own well sculpted thigh in between Namjoon’s spreading the in heat omega’s legs a little to create more space, and make comfortably more room for what was about to go down.

Finally, something seemed to happen as Namjoon could feel Seungri trail finger down his back to the cleft of his ass, where for a second they just stopped right at his entrance “This is what you want right?”

Seungri’s tone of voice was at the same time soft and loving, and teasing, cause they all three knew that it was what Namjoon wanted, no what he needed. Teasing Namjoon at a time like this, but with no malice, was just so Seungri.

Namjoon knew what he wanted, he whined high in his throat as he couldn’t stop himself from chasing the soft touch of the olders fingers “Please, alpha.”

Namjoon always thought that it was the right thing to say, it was submission, it was what alpha’s wanted, right? But he should have remembered that this was Seungri, he wasn’t like most alpha’s nor was he like something Namjoon could ever have expected. At the same time as the alpha slid a finger, and just one, inside him, he also guided Namjoon head so he was looking back at Seungri.

A kiss was pressed to Namjoons lips “Seungri.”

A little confused about what was happening, Namjoon just looked confused, he finally had something inside him, but it wasn’t enough! And now Seungri was talking, luckily the other seemed happy to explain “My name is Seungri, please just call me that, not alpha, this isn’t about our sub-genders, this is about you Namjoon and me Seungri.”

A light nip was delivered to the tip of Seungri’s nose “Should I be worried that you are forgetting about me maknae?” The last word was said in a clear teasing tone, that all three of them knew that Daesung was just teasing.

“Never.” The love that Namjoon could see in the soft alpha’s eyes made Namjoon blush, even tho the love wasn’t directed towards him, it was still so damn soft and sweet, it was real love.

But Namjoon couldn’t focus on that, as Seungri slid another finger into him, forcing a strangled moan out of him. Then again, he wasn’t sure that it was the cause of the fact that he was finally getting filled like he wanted or the fact that Seungri and Daesung were swapping saliva right next to his face.

When the kiss between the two other idols finally broke, a string of saliva was still connecting them, and Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from whining in a way that he would later look back on as pathetic.

“Aww, you want kisses as well Joonie?” Daesung leaned down to press a short soft kiss to the younger lips, but while NAmjoon did indeed love the kiss, he shook his head, it wasn’t kisses that he wanted, it wasn’t what made him whine like… an omega in heat.

Seungri was quick to catch on, he grinned at Daesung over Namjoon’s shoulder, as he slid an additional finger into Namjoon, omega’s in heat didn’t actually need to be prepared, but the alpha didn’t feel comfortable not doing it “I think Joonie likes seeing us kiss, is that it baby, you like seeing Dae being pretty while being kissed.”

Namjoon flushed in a strong blush, he had been figured out so quickly and easily “it’s…” he was struggling to find his words, while at the same time trying to thrust back on Seungri’s fingers while moaning, he seemed to have no idea how to make his high brain function actually work, “I…” he was getting frustrated, his mind was so hazy, “Both,”

He was trying to explain how they were both pretty being kissed, how they were both so… pretty.

Namjoon couldn’t imagine calling an alpha like Yoongi pretty, but for Seungri, it just seemed to fit, and he was almost sure that Seungri would actually like it. A hand was put on Namjoon’s forehead, forcing him to focus on the omega in front of him instead of on the complicated thought inside his head, and how good Seungri’s fingers felt inside him.

For a second the older omega looked worried, “he can’t wait anymore, he is burning up.”

To be honest, Namjoon felt like that was a stupid statement, he had been burning up since before he left B.a.p, but maybe it was just better to trust with Daesung was saying, even if it did sound stupid.

Especially since it leads to Seungri lining himself up at Namjoon entrance “still okay?” Seungri was now lightly kissing at the back of Namjoon’s tan shoulders. The younger couldn’t even answer anymore, he just whined.

And then it happened.

Seungri finally, fucking finally entered him. The wet sound as slick got pushed to the side and replaced by the others erection was non to charming, but to Namjoon it was the best sound he had heard in forever.

While it wasn’t enough, it was like he could finally get a gulp of air into his lungs, the room was filled with a mewl that Namjoon at first didn’t even recognize at his own sounds, Seungri was swearing behind him as he finally bottomed out.

For a second everything was tense, but it was quickly broken by Daesung giggling “for an alpha buried in an in heat omega, you seem a little in pain baby.”

The older omega had started pressing small kisses to Namjoon overheated face, while having an iron grip on his hips, making sure that Namjoon couldn’t thrust back into Seungri.

Seungri’s voice was somehow as whiny as Namjoon’s as he mumbled into the overheated omega’s shoulder “Shut up, he is so damn tight, it’s hard to focus… Smells… so good.”

All other alpha’s Namjoon would probably have been worried that the other was losing control of himself, but he trusted Seungri, even in this state where thinking was hard… Seungri had given him no reason not to trust him. Namjoon the person trusted him, and Namjoon the omega trusted him even more.

“He is silly,” Daesung was now lightly nipping at the tip of Namjoon’s noose as to tease him and raise the mood and remove the tension, “he says this every time, it doesn’t matter if it’s me, Heechul, Jessica or anybody else. Tiny baby alpha has a hard time focusing.”

“Shut up! He is lying!”

“Don’t even get me started on the time he spent Taemin, he was such a tiny person. Riri was so scared that he would break him until Minnie slapped him and told him to get on with it.” Daesung was still holding Namjoon still while talking.

While yes Namjoon knew that both he and Seungri needed time to adjust, he was lowkey salty that Daesung was keeping him away from what he wanted.

“It’s not my fault! It was supposed to be Youngbae with him, but nooo, he had to go and be sick! I hadn’t been an alpha long!”

‘

“It had been almost 4 years!”

“Shut up!” Namjoon didn’t need to be able to see Seungri’s face to know that the older was blushing, he knew it.

“I’m ready… please move?” Namjoon had finally calmed down enough to think a little.

Not that it lasted long for that to stop, Seungri’s movement was hesitant at first, as to test if Namjoon was actually ready, but just to light thrusting was enough to drive Namjoon insane, in a good way.

He had already been warned that his first orgasm and knot during his heat was gonna be one and done very fast, both he and Seungri would be too high on hormones and pheromones to last long, which should be good to calm down the first waves of heat.

Namjoon could already feel the start of Seungri’s knot forming, it was pulling lightly at his rim with each thrust.

It was all becoming too much for Namjoon, he could already feel how he himself was being pulled towards the edge. Daesung’s own erection was pressing against Namjoon’s own.

He had to admit, he was still a little shy about the fact that he had asked if he would actually be allowed to touch his own dick, which yes did maybe come from the fact that he had watched too much porn. Daesung had just laughed, called him silly and explained that of course, he would. While yes some people and especially omega’s was into coming untouched, and yes it was a turn on for people. This was not a kink session, this was to help Namjoon with his heat in the best way they could!

Namjoon was thrashing and moaning more than he would later admit, he wasn’t in his right mind, he was pulling his neck back to expose his scent gland and where classically, the pack bite would be placed on an Omega when they were getting claimed.

Seungri was lightly moaning into Namjoon’s ear as well as he was thrusting into Namjoon with controlled thrust while nipping at the back of his neck, while this wasn’t overly passionate love making or anything like that, this was meant to make Namjoon and Seungri come as fast as possible.

And Seungri was doing just that so well.

Namjoon could no longer control how he was presenting himself, the inner omega in him was still not in balance and wanted a claim, he needed to trust them.

And then it happened, Namjoon could feel how it all got too much, he couldn’t hold it back anymore, as Daesung wrapped a hand around them both to jerk them off, he came. Which created a chain effect of Seungri finally pushing his knot all the way in locking them together.

And then…

A set of teeth bit down around Namjoon scent gland, and bit… deep enough to draw blood.

Oh…

And then Namjoon’s world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Correct, this was not sexy... It was not meant to be sexy either.
> 
> Also, for people who are interested, the Super Junior pack that we are going to deal with is:  
> Pregnant omega Heechul,   
> Kibum,   
> Beta Henry,   
> Alpha Siwon,   
> Zhou Mi,   
> and pack alpha Han Geng!


	68. Every encounter and parting in my life until now, Has led me to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God uni is trying to kill me, why is computer science so hard?

Namjoon wasn’t sure how much time had actually passed when he finally woke up again, small kisses were being placed on his face in intervals, and he could feel how he and Seungri were still locked together by the knot.

Other than that, Namjoon actually felt really good, he did get a little surprised, when he opened his eyes and was greeted with Daesung’s face close to his own “Hey baby,” the other omega’s voice was soft and caring, but not worried like Namjoon would have expected since he did pass out, “are you feeling better now, your fever has fallen?”

At first, Namjoon wasn’t sure how to react, he was focused on the blood on Daesung’s lower face, he couldn’t stop staring, while he felt tranquil from the knot that locked him to the alpha and kept his hormones in check, the heat was still overwhelming “you… bit me.” it wasn't a question, it was more of a statement. 

Daesung nodded “I did,” he looked a little shy “your heat is as bad as we feared, I don’t know how much you can remember, but you were burning up, and you kept presenting your neck. Youngbae warned us that this might happen, your inner omega is still not completely calm and sated. It’s worried that you will deny it's a chance to have a pack.”

“Why didn’t you warn me.” Namjoon felt a little ashamed of how he had acted, he had been like desperate heat bitch.

Small kisses were pressed to the younger nose and cheeks “This is why we didn’t warn you, cause you would be aware of it, and I know you enough, to know that you would try to suppress it, and we didn’t want that, we wanted you to react to stuff naturally. We wanted your heat to be nice and peaceful, with you listening to your body and not denying it what it wants”

What Daesung said did make sense, and he was right, if they had warned Namjoon about the fact that it could happen, he would have tried his best to make sure that he showed no sign or anything off it, it was embarrassing…

“The bite… does it… do anything?” Namjoon moved a little, or he tried, Seungri’s arm was like a chain around his waist holding him in place as the alpha cuddled his face into the back of Namjoon’s neck and a little whine was heard from his mouth.

Daesung giggled a little “Please don’t try to move, I do still think that the knot is holding you together, and even if it doesn’t it really not good to separate from each other so close after knotting, specially during heat. Also Ri is sleeping.” Namjoon could almost see hearts in the others eyes as he was talking about Seungri in that fond voice that was saved only for Daesung’s pack “Baby alpha gets worn out easily when he knots. First time it was just me and him, he more or less collapsed on top of me after knotting during his rut, he should be lucky that I am more solid build! He would have crushed other omega’s.”

Namjoon himself couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little, it was a kinda funny image of Daesung lying annoyed under Seungri trapped by the younger alpha, Daesung himself pecked Namjoon quickly on the lips, leaving the other omega to whine, he didn’t want pecks! He wanted real kisses!

That wasn’t the heat speaking, that was Namjoon himself wanting kisses!

“Aren’t you an eager little pup,” Daesung teased, but he did kiss Namjoon for real, even if the older omega broke the kiss faster that Namjoon would have liked, he would accept it, for now, they weren’t done with their talk about the bite after all.

Daesung smiled “Don’t worry, the bite won’t have any effect on you, it was mainly to fake your inner omega into believing that it could calm down.”

“I blacked out tho,” Namjoon was a little worried about that part.

But he was calmed by Daesung, who still smiled at him with a calming smile “Don’t worry about that, it is your bodies way to shut down because it was your first time, and it was all a lot at the same time, you are okay, I cleaned you both while you decided that it was nap time.”

That made Namjoon giggle “you cleaned me and Ri, but you couldn’t clean the blood of your own face?”

Daesung’s hand flew to the lower part of his face, as he made an awkward facial expression “I knew I forgot something.”

“That is so you,” Namjoon couldn’t stop laughing, it really was so Daesung, he could nicely clean up Seungri and Namjoon, but forget all about himself and stuff like that.

A whine was heard behind Namjoon, the arm around his waist tightened a little “Stop moving,” the words were spoken into Namjoon’s shoulder, making it almost impossible to actually understand what the alpha was saying.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from softly petting Seungri’s arm, he could now understand why everybody was so soft for Seungri, he was actually just a soft boy that deserved better than the media gave him, “I’m sorry.”

“Nap now,” Seungri sounded like a little child wanting nothing more than go back to sleep.

Daesung disagreed tho, a light playful tap was placed on Seungri’s forehead “No more nap, you both need to eat food. Unless of course, you want me to take over for next heat wave, I am sure I would do a way more impressive job anyway.”

“Rude,” Seungri was cute when he was sleepy, he clearly couldn’t muster up a real angry response, instead just pouting into Namjoon’s shoulder “You don’t understand, he smells really good, and he is really warm.”

“Yes, and if you would like him to be a functional person after this and you would like to not have Bae yell at you, both of you need to eat and drink, not just sleep and fuck.”

Daesung was kinda… hot scolding Seungri… Namjoon turned out to be into weird things.

But Namjoon focused mainly on the one thing he heard… food… he hadn’t noticed how he was actually hungry, Daesung on the other hand light up when he saw NAmjoon react to the word “So you still have an appetite, that’s a good sign, your first wave was so strong that I was a little worried that we would have to force food into you.”

The Omega… who was still gloriously naked, was breaking a meal replacement bar into multiple little pieces and started to alternate between feeding the two still locked together idols.

Seungri still seemed a little out of it, or maybe just tired, and Daesung had to lightly slap him twice as he was fake biting at Daesung’s fingertips, but it made Namjoon… happy.

He still wasn’t completely comfortable with having 100% of the attention on him, and it was like Seungri and Daesung just got it, and Namjoon liked seeing them loving each other. Namjoon had always liked seeing people being happy, and compared to back with BTS, he didn’t feel left out and alone.

That was when Namjoon noticed Daesung’s bite, he had never really thought about how none of the Big Bang members had the bite on a visual or normal place. Daesung’s bite was on his thigh.

For a second Namjoon could just stare… Daesung had really pretty thighs, Namjoon was a little jealous that Daesung was so well built for an omega, who said that was fair? Namjoon was just a lanky bean, while he normally had pretty good legs when he wasn’t this thin, but he could never be build like Daesung, it was unfair.

As Daesung pushed the last of the food in between Namjoon’s plush lips he seemed to notice the others stare “Oh yeah you haven’t seen any of our bites before having you?”

“I thought that yours would be placed high on your neck,” Namjoon mumbled it a little shyly “Since you have so many alphas, I thought they would want the world to know you are theirs?” that was when Namjoon realized something, Daesung was a founding omega! He would have to receive his bite at the same time as he gave Seunghyun his!

Namjoon couldn’t stop his giggling at the idea of how their position must have been, Daesung seemed to understand without Namjoon having to vocalize himself “I’m a private person, I don’t want people to get involved in my pack, I don’t need to show the world who I belong to, and who belong to me. I already know it, which is enough for me.”

Namjoon who still felt very floaty in his head, and just happy “Nobody in your pack has the mark on their throat do they?” he couldn’t remember seeing any of them with a visual mark of their bite.

Daesung shook his head “No, Seunghyun’s is on his wrist, Seungri’s is on his upper arm, Bae’s on his shoulder.”

Seungri who seemed to finally have found a little bit of his mental stability again, giggled, full on giggled into Namjoon’s shoulder “Ji’s is on his ass.”

“What?” Namjoon was just confused, he had heard of many different places to place a pack bite, but never on somebody’s ass before that was so… Jiyong.

Namjoon to be honest wasn’t even that surprised he seemed like the kind who would get a pack bite in a place that nobody else would have thought about. Not as a joke, nor to make fun of his pack or the bite, but just because it was special.

But yeah it was funny and Namjoon himself was laughing and giggling along with Seungri, Daesung himself tried to keep a straight face until he as well started giggling “He was meant to have it on his hip bone, but he was teasing Hyunie while doing it, to this day he doesn't want to admit if he was giving Seunghyun on up on purpose, but knowing Ji… I am pretty sure it was all planned.”

The giggled a little, all three of them feeling relaxed, Namjoon had never thought that his heat would be like this, it was a lot less...sexy… and a lot more comfortable and happy, but he was happy with that, he didn’t need or want an overly sexual heat.

He still felt desired as an omega, but he also felt safe and cared for.

The talk of bite made Namjoon touch the bite on his neck with hesitant finger “this really won’t do anything?”

Daesung shook his head as he leaned a little to kiss where the bite had been placed “no, even if Ri had bit you he isn’t a pack alpha, and even if he was he would need the intent to place a backbite. And without your consent and want of the backbite, it would be majorly scaring to your mental health and you would be able to feel it in your mind as a nuisance and a pain instead of a part of you, this is just like any other bite and scratch you get… It is gonna itch like fuck while healing.”

Seungri was the next to place a little kiss on the now healing bite mark “Don’t worry, we did not force you into a pack you don’t wanna be in.”

“Plus we are a little old for you, you need a young energetic pack.”

Namjoon giggled a little at that “you aren’t that old.”

The older omega wiggled his eyebrows “We might not be, but Seunghyun is gonna be 30 this year, oh god Ri we are in pack with old people.”

It was clear that Daesung was just kidding around and making fun for Namjoon’s sake, and the BTS rapper couldn’t stop himself from smiling and giggling, it was working, with Daesung’s variety personality on full display and soft hands petting and caressing Namjoon… he never felt more comfortable in himself and in his inner omega.

A little bit more chatting and some water, before Namjoon could feel how the knot was finally small enough that it didn’t bind them together, Namjoon’s first knotting was about to be over. A light nip was placed on his shoulder by Seungri “I am gonna slip out of you now, okay?”

For a second Namjoon almost panicked, he couldn’t explain it, but he didn’t want Seungri to pull out, “no!”

His grip on Seungri’s thigh was probably clammy and a little too tight, he wasn’t able to explain it, he just new that he didn’t want it.

God bless both the older idols, they might have known Namjoon the shortest, but they understood him so well. Daesung got up, ignoring the little whine that Namjoon let out as the older omega slipped away from him.

When he got back to Namjoon he was hiding something away from him, Daesung took his hands in his “I know, this is your inner omega trying to get pregnant, even if you can’t cause of the birth control, it still went to keep it all inside for as long as possible. Do you want this to keep it in.”

And then he showed Namjoon what he was holding in his hand, it was… plug? Namjoon blushed a little when he realized what it actually was, it was a buttplug, it wasn’t very big, but enough to keep the cum from leaving his body, and in the end, it had a little star.

“It is new, we bought it before we got here, it is a very normal urge and nothing to be ashamed of,” Seungri intertwined their fingers, releasing Namjoon’s death grip on his thigh, but not making another move to separate them.

While it might not be something to be ashamed of, Namjoon still felt shy about it, but he was quick at nodding “please,” he couldn't say more than that, that was about as good at it was gonna get.

Seungri took the plug from Daesung’s hands, and with a quick kiss to Namjoon’s shoulder and pulled out, being quick and effective to push in the plug. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from wiggling his ass a little to get used to the plug inside him.

It wasn’t big enough to stretch him or anything like that, but it still felt nice, of course, it wasn’t as good Seungri inside him, but it was workable, and it did most importantly keep the cum inside him.

His smile at Daesung, dimples on show, “Thank you.”

The older omega let out a weird strangled noise “You are way too cute, it is not fair.”

Namjoon just giggled a little, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward to kiss Daesung. Daesung had really nice lips, Daesung should get all the kisses, from everybody. How did people stop kissing Daesung?

Namjoon had to force himself to focus on what was going on around him, he could feel how the heat was slowly gathering low in stomach as the second wave was crashing over him, no crashing wasn’t the right word, it was like slowly flowing over him.

The two older idols were talking to each other in soft tones, but Namjoon had tuned them out, he was comfortably still full and was busy staring very intensely at Daesung’s lips. How would Daesung react of Namjoon bit them?

He could still remember how other omega had reacted, could he make Daesung react like that? Namjoon already knew that he really loved omega, like really really loved them, they smelt nice, they were soft… Okay Daesung were less soft and more compound ball of muscle, but still. Soft and cuddly.

Yeah, he could totally call Daesung soft and cuddly.

He would like to cuddle Daesung.

And kiss him.

Oh god, he would really like to kiss him again and see if he could make the older omega make those sounds.

Logically Namjoon knew it was just the heat in him that was speaking, it was what was driving him, but that didn’t mean he could stop it.

He interrupted Daesung mid-sentence, pushing their lips together in a kiss that was a lot more sloppy and dirty than what he had originally planned for. Also maybe he more of half jumped Daesung, he wasn’t quite sure how he got there.

But he was lying on top of Daesung, and suddenly they were swapping spit, god Daesung smelled so nice, so fresh and of omega, pure soft and sweet omega.

Namjoon moaned into Daesung’s mouth as the older omega placed his hands on a non to soft grip on the younger omega’s ass.

Daesung’s scent of sweet blueberries spiked up, and Namjoon faraway in his mind knew that the older was being affected by his heat, while both Seungri and Daesung seemed to have amazing almost magical amount of self control, there was only so much a person could really be expected to have in the terms of self control.

The second wave of heat crashed into Namjoon hard, but it wasn’t like the first one, the first one had slowly come to him, giving him time to adjust and feel comfortable, but his first wave of heat had almost completely been focused on Seungri and on the alpha.

But this wasn’t like this.

This time it was focused on Daesung, it was focused on his sweet sweet scent and how he could feel Daesung himself produce slick, Namjoon wasn’t even sure if Daesung came with his last wave of heat. Namjoon had been a little to busy focusing on how well Seungri had filled him.

But for now Seungri was almost forgotten, Namjoon had always loved omega’s, it wasn’t that he hated alphas or betas but omegas scent had always been speaking to him on a personal level.

Jimin’s scent was still Namjoon most favorite in the entire world, alpha scents were always so strong and it was like at times they were trying to invade Namjoon’s brain, betas scents were nice. They were kinda relaxing in a way that Namjoon had a hard time explaining, betas weren’t like omegas and alphas, they scent were always very neutral, but still very them.

It wasn’t something negative, Namjoon was sure that the entire world would have a giant headache if it weren’t for beta’s presents.

Namjoon could only focus on Daesung who were under him, Daesung was so… pliant under him, he couldn’t stop himself from running his hands up the older omega’s strong and solid upper body. Namjoon liked how Daesung was so different from other omega’s, it kinda made Namjoon feel hot under the collar.

Cause while Daesung was this strongly built muscled person, he was pliant and soft under Namjoon’s hands, when he sank his teeth into Daesung’s solid lower lip, he finally got what he wanted from the older.

He got a deep moan in Daesung’s pretty voice.

Namjoon liked how he could still feel the others hands massaging his ass, at times pressing a little on the plug in Namjoon, making the BTS omega moan out.

But they didn’t get to stay there for long as Namjoon felt another hand on his side, he managed to tier himself away from Daesung’s lips for just a second, the older omega looked about as fucked out as Namjoon felt like.

He looked over as Seungri, and then he did something he never expected to do, not only to another person, but to an alpha, a friend, and to a damn member of Big Bang.

Namjoon growled warningly at him in a possessive tone.

Oh… Now that couldn’t be a good sign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have about 1-2 chapters more of Namjoons heat, and then we have Namjoon talking with everybody favorite former winner member, then we have Taehyung with Seventeen AND THEN Namjoon with Block B!
> 
> Oh wow looking at this I feel exhausted!
> 
> But we are about... halfway done with the story now!
> 
> Thank you, everybody who has been commenting, liking or just reading to story, it means the world to me <3


	69. Not me but the other guy, Don’t ever say you like him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the amount of love you guys gave the last chapter <3

For a second everybody just froze where they were, Seungri pulled his hand back quickly looking a little confused at Daesung, like he expected his hyung to guide him in what was actually going on and what they should do.

Daesung luckily reacted easily, his hands finding it’s way to Namjoon’s face, framing his face and forcing the younger to look at him “hey baby, can you relax for me, you are getting a little worked up.”

It was almost embarrassing how easily the youngest omega followed Daesung’s words, almost immediately he relaxed his entire body, the tenseness in his shoulder that he had held there since Seungri had touched him disappeared.

Through Daesung’s soft guiding words Namjoon came more back to himself, that was when he realized what he had done.

Nononono what was he doing? Seungri had done nothing but treat him nicely and with respect, and this was how Namjoon was repaying him. Nonono.

Seungri had to be so angry with him, Namjoon had fucked up.

He could feel himself slightly panicking, he didn’t know how to apologize to the alpha. He… an omega… had growled at Seungri… an alpha.

He stared at Daesung for a moment, and then he almost word vomited “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I… I.. I don’t know what happened!”

His eyes quickly shifted to Seungri sitting as far away from him as possibly could looking at Namjoon with a hesitant look, “Joonie, can I touch you?”

Namjoon was quick at nodding, he could feel how he was breathing faster and he was on his way to actually start to cry, this is not what he wanted.

A few seconds later Namjoon was being hugged close by both the older idols, he had been pushed down to sit on Daesung’s thighs instead so the other omega could sit up and hug him close. Seungri quickly joined in the hug “it’s okay Joonie, just breath nobody is mad at you I promise, shhh, shhh.”

Namjoon was starting to have hiccups from holding back his tears “I didn’t mean to growl at you! I don’t know what happened to me!”

“It’s okay.” Seungri was running his finger through Namjoon’s soft purple hair in a petting method, and Daesung petted his sides while letting the younger bury his head in his shoulder so he could hide in his scent gland and be calmed by the older singers soft blueberry scent.

“I growled at an alpha.”

“You growled at a person touching you without consent during a heat, I should have asked if it was okay first.” Seungri’s words made sense, but Namjoon couldn’t stop feeling that he just said them to his fault and didn’t actually meant them.

The youngest sniffled a little to stop the crying “but you touched me earlier.”

“Yes and then you inner omega clearly wanted an omega, and the reason you growled at me was that you thought I was gonna take away Daesung.” for a second Seungri looked at Daesung as to ask for help, he wasn’t sure if he should bring up such a negative subject during the youngest heat, but Daesung just nodded.

They had agreed that they would never want to lie to Namjoon, and keeping the secret of how his inner omega wanted the bite, was very different than this.

“You was with Yoongi for so long, even if you weren’t technically an omega at the time, you were still witnessing to what has happened. You explained at some time how you find yourself preferring the scent of omega’s and how you want to almost protect them. That is the cause of what you saw happen with Yoongi, and Jiyong says it might also be from what you saw from underground rapping.  
Your inner Omega thinks that you need to protect omega’s, it happens sometimes, when we are in heat and in a rut, that is the time we are most in sync with our inner sub gender, it is the only time really where it can fully take over what we do.

I touched you without making you aware that I was there, so you inner omega reacted thinking I was about to do what you were used to.  
When you were spending time with Jimin, would Yoongi ever take him away? Not always physically, but was he at times the reason why Jimin would leave you.”

Namjoon slowly nodded thinking back, at times that Yoongi would indeed be the reason that Jimin would leave him behind. Yoongi had always been possessive of Jimin, logically Namjoon knew that it was the cause of Yoongi’s past and the fact that BTS only had one omega in their pack.

From his past, he felt that Jimin should only really spend time with him, since he was the pack alpha, and then there was the fact of Namjoon’s scent. It had slowly gotten worse with time, and Yoongi had hated it when the youngest rappers scent would cling to any of the pack members.

First Yoongi had caught him off from spending majority of the time with Jimin in private after the pack alpha had expressed how he hated Namjoon’s scent on Jimin, the youngest that stopped cuddling him. While Jimin clearly hadn’t been a fan of Namjoon’s scent either, he had been able to ignore it to cuddle the tall lanky rapper, but after that, the last person to cuddle Namjoon from BTS had stopped.

Then Yoongi would start sitting on Namjoon’s recording session with Jimin, it was the last time that Namjoon had alone with the younger and that was taken away from him as well.

Seungri was right.

Somewhere inside Namjoon, he was always afraid at that alpha’s were gonna take away his omega’s, take away happiness and calmness. It wasn’t that he disliked alpha’s, and he wasn’t as afraid of them as he used to be, but there seemed to be this lingering fear in him, in his inner omega was broken.

“I’m I always gonna be broken?” Namjoon’s voice was quivering a little, he thought he was finally okay that he was gonna be a real omega, and then he got this.

That got an instant reaction from both Seungri and Daesung, the other omega no longer let him hide his face, instead gathering the crying omega’s face in his hands “no baby, you aren’t broken, please look at me, this isn’t your being broken, this is you have gone through a lot and slowly healing. You are not broken.”

Namjoon just stared at me, Daesung’s face was very serious as he stared at Namjoon “Repeat after me.” Namjoon nodded “I am not broken.”

Namjoon opened his mouth to say it, but no words came out of it, it was like his vocal cords didn’t actually want to produce the sounds that Namjoon needed it to, it was like they knew that his heart wasn’t in it.

He felt broken, but he didn’t want to be broken, he wanted to believe in the two older idols. The fact that they had told him this, even if they clearly didn’t want to. Just so they wouldn’t lie to him, they clearly cared about him, there was no doubt about it.

They had so much patience in him, they were not trying to rush him, but letting him do things at his own speed, they let him slowly come to the words himself, Namjoon voice was weak and low, but it was stable as he whispered out “I am not broken.”

Both the Big Bang member just smiled at him “That is right, you aren’t.”

More hugs were given to Namjoon, the young omega couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling Daesung a little more as he mumbled out a sorry a few more times to Seungri who just laughed lightheartedly.

No bad blood was clearly between them, and now that Namjoon panic had scared away his second wave of heat, he could think much more clearly. He enjoyed Seungri’s hand on his naked skin calming him down and feeling safer.

Every time Namjoon would say sorry a little more of the sweet candy apple scent from Seungri would lay itself over him, making him feel safe, first when Namjoon felt that he had 100 percent calmed down did he lift his head and look at the two others, he felt that it was important to say “I am not gonna hold it over Yoongi, the past is the past. I can’t hold it over him or be angry with him over what had happened. I need to let it go like we all do.”

Seungri’s jaw tightened, and he didn’t say anything, but Namjoon could see without any issue that the alpha disagreed with him, he wished that people wouldn’t be so hard on Yoongi.

Yes the BTS pack alpha had done some fucked up things, but it wasn’t like he on purpose had done it to hurt anybody, he had done what he thought was the right way to protect his pack.

Luckily Daesung seemed to understand “we are not asking you to hate Yoongi, nor do we hate him, we don’t know him, but Joonie baby, you have to understand that the people that dislike him, have all the right to. This is people that really love you in one way or another, even if it not romantically, we dislike him cause he hurt you. You can’t ask us to forgive him for that. If you feel ready and free to forgive, then you have our blessing too. With what we said we are not trying to turn you against Yoongi, we were trying to explain things to you.”

Namjoon nodded slowly, he understood what the two idols were saying and he understood where they were coming from, “it just hurts me to see people treat him and think about him in that way, I know that things were bad, and I know and understand all the bad things Yoongi did, but I don’t want anybody to doubt that Yoongi loves his pack and even in his own way he loves me. We all failed each other, we didn’t help each other when the other needed it, Yoongi didn’t start out like this, he slowly turned into this, and none of us did anything to get him help. We will not fail each other again,” Namjoon bit his lip “I can’t promise or say that I will join the BTS pack, as you said yourself, I need to give other people the chance, I need to find out what feels right, if it is BTS, somebody courting me or a 3rd option, but as Yoongi’s group leader and friend. I won’t fail him again.”

For a second everything in the room was silent, and then Seungri sighed “Your heart is a way to big for your own good, but I trust you and your decision.”

“Thank you.” and Namjoon meant it, it meant so much to him that the other two idols actually trusted him or at least tried to.

A lot more petting and cuddling with them all, before Namjoon’s body could relax enough and that he could slowly let the heat wash over him again. What had happened was that with his panic, his body had shut down his heat.

It was a trait from back in the days when there were less order and laws in the world. If an omega landed without a pack or away from it while they were in heat, said heat would shut down if they started to panic. This was to avoid being raped, had Namjoon not been calmed down as fast as he did, his scent would have started to become sour and rotten to turn people away from him.

Luckily it hadn’t come to that point, as Namjoon relaxed still lying on top of Daesung, at first he had been a little hesitant to stay there since he was worried that he was too heavy, but when he had tried to move the older omega had held him there and made sure he didn’t move.

No words had been shared, other than Daesung had lightly scented him, as to say that he liked Namjoon there.

It had to lead to a kinda sweet moment with Seungri whining that he wanted to be part of the scenting as well, it had lead to the omegas sharing a look and then almost jumping Seungri, rubbing their faces all the soft alpha’s upper body effectively scent and almost bathing him in their mixed scent of peaches and cream plus blueberries, a scent that turned out to fit very well.

As they were done, they looked very satisfied with themselves, while Seungri just looked a little fucked up and very scent drunk, he was half lying as a starfish on the bed, mumbling something about sweet fruits and heat.

Daesung couldn’t stop giggling a little “soft alpha’s are even more sensitive to scenting that normal alpha’s, it is part of them being softer. They crave it in a way that nobody else does.”

Very maturely it came from Seungri “your mum.”

Leaving both omega’s giggling.

Namjoon had finally managed to fall down completely and actually be relaxed instead of panicked, and once again he could feel the slow burn of heat, something he knew that he would need to have settled.

Since Namjoon had found his way back to lying on top of Daesung, he hesitated a little biting his lip. He knew what he wanted, no what he needed, but he wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to ask for it.

Maybe it was how Namjoon’s body stiffened, or maybe it was the cause of how he had stopped pressed small kisses around Daesung’s scent gland “Baby?” Daesung’s tone was questioning, but not pushing, as if he clearly wanted to wait for Namjoon to tell him what was wrong when he was ready.

Neither Daesung nor Seungri had ever denied him something before, and all Namjoon could do was hope that they weren’t gonna start now, and they didn’t think that he was being rude “I wanna…” he had to swallow, his throat feeling dry and himself feeling shy.

“It’s okay Joonie, whatever you want.” Seungri’s voice still sounded a little… gone… from the heavy scenting he got only 10 minutes ago, but his hand on Namjoon’s hip bone was soft and comfortable.

Okay he could do this, he was not gonna be ashamed of himself, he was not gonna be ashamed of who he was “I wanna ride Dae.”

He finally got it out, this was something he had thought about so long, not specifically Daesung, but omega’s. Namjoon wanted to be able to ride an omega, while the older omega wasn’t a hard omega which would have been the best choice, he wasn’t small for an omega either, and most importantly, Namjoon didn’t feel like he was gonna crush him.

Some omega’s were built like pretty beautiful people, but also thin and looked like they could easily be crushed,  but Daesung was built solid and beautifully. While he knew that people made fun of omega’s like Daesung, especially back in the days, but Namjoon loved it. He loved how he could feel the others solid shoulders under his hands.

Daesung looked a little hesitant “are you sure? I can’t knot you like Seungri can, I can’t make it as good for you as he can.”

Luckily Namjoon didn’t get the chance to answer as Seungri spoke up instead “I don’t think he cares, for him, I just think it's about having an omega under him, aren’t I right?” Namjoon was quick to nod, which coursed Seungri to grin “And you do look amazing when you have somebody riding you.”

Oh yeah… Namjoon had forgotten, Seungri was a soft alpha, he liked being on the receiving end at times. It was easy for Namjoon to forget, while yes Seungri’s scent was a constant reminder of it, but other than that, Seungri was just… Seungri.

Daesung blushed at his pack mates comment, but he just nodded “if that's what you want, of course, that is what we should do. I just wanted to make sure that you don’t regret it. I know how hard it is to think clearly during a heat, and please don’t do this cause you think I feel left out or anything like this. I brought him here for a reason, and it wasn’t for his clearly subpar commentating and comedian skills.”

A disgruntled “hey!” was heard from Seungri, who clearly did not agree with Daesung in being called subpar in anything!

“This is what I want, I want you... “ Namjoon bit his lip a little “I can make it good for you as well,” while yes he could clearly feel the heat clouding his judgment and making him a little more desperate than he normally would be, but this was 100 percent what he wanted.

And he wanted Daesung to feel good as well, he wanted to be able to see the older omega feel pleasure, the pleasure that Namjoon was the one giving him. Namjoon didn’t know what it was, but he really liked the idea of being able to see Daesung slowly fall apart in front of his eyes because of Namjoon.

He knew that he had always liked seeing when he was bringing people pleasure, it was one of the reasons that he liked eating out omega’s so much, but this was different, this was so personal in a whole other way that he had a hard time describing, this was just perfect.

“Aw baby, I promise you just being here with you is good for both of us, you have no idea just how good you are smelling, no idea how pretty you look all flushed with heat. This is a privilege for us to be here with you and something that means a lot to both of us that your trust us so much.”

Namjoon needed Daesung to shut up, he really did, cause he was blushing heavily and really didn’t know what to do with himself, so he did the first thing he could think of he pressed his lips to the older omega’s.

Namjoon felt so loved.

Was this how all omegas felt?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo! This is short I know, that is cause I want another chapter of Namjoon's heat!
> 
> So news:
> 
> I am doing a Big Bang side story with how the members got their bites! First part should be out Sunday. Hopefully!
> 
> I hope you all liked this! '
> 
> Also I have been giving almost daily little teasers over on my twitter!


	70. This isn’t the last time for us Please, let’s meet again when the flowers bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter, but I hope you guys still liked it!

It took a little bit of moving around the finally find a good position, but they ended up with Daesung sitting up against the wall with Namjoon’s on his lap and Seungri behind Namjoon.

Namjoon at first hadn’t actually noticed just how sore his muscles were, Daesung had explained that it was normal since he had already spent a decent while in heat. They had already explained to Namjoon that heat in general, were not as… glamorous as porn and other places made it out to be.

They had already once applied a healing salve on his thighs to make sure he wouldn’t get marks there, so much skin rubbing against the skin over and over again really wasn’t good for it, and then there was the sweat and bodily fluids there was just… disgusting.

They had already changed their sheets and showered once, but Namjoon still felt like they were almost sticky and sticking together in an awful way, but he could ignore it when he really tried.

Both Seungri and Daesung had their hands on Namjoon hips, Seungri’s movements were soft and gentle as the alpha lead his hands down to Namjoon’s ass “I am gonna take out the plug now.”

Namjoon just nodded, he was eager for the actual main event to start, while he felt more calm with the plug in him keeping Seungri’s cum inside him (Something that he would later look back on as disgusting and very unhygienic.)

But even tho he was prepared for it, and he wanted it, he couldn’t stop himself from whining a little at the loss, his body took better to being filled. The cum flowing down his thighs was another thing that he would later find to be disgusting, but at that moment he mainly just found the cum leaving his body sad.

Namjoon wanted to whine and be a brat about it, but Daesung solid hands sliding from his hips to his thighs massaging them to get Namjoon to calm down, which he easily did with Daesung guiding hands.

He let the two Big Bang members guide him slowly down onto Daesung’s erection, the moan from both omegas was loud and whiny, “relax baby you are tightening up.” Seungri was softly whispering it in his ears while guiding Namjoon into a better position by his hips. Seungri movements were guiding and soft but never controlling and there was no doubt about the fact that it was Namjoon that was in control if he wanted to be.

While the idea of being in control, being the one to push Daesung down and take what he wanted and give just as much back, he wasn’t sure that he was actually able to it nor that he had to energy to do it, and he could feel how his body was heating up again with the heat fever.

Daesung did look damn good under him tho, the older omega was scrunching his eyes closed as to focus himself and his teeth were biting down into that full bottom lip. Namjoon could stop himself from leaning down and kissing him, the kiss was a little less coordinated and harder than Namjoon really wanted, but he got what he wanted.

He got to be the one to bite into Daesung’s lower lip instead, so Namjoon might have a thing for Daesung’s lips, it wasn’t his fault. The older just happened to have amazing lips, that Namjoon wanted… no needed… a need that the other omega was very willing to feed.

Daesung didn’t fill him up the same way as an alpha would do it, but he still made Namjoon throw his head back in pleasure. It was different from an alpha to an omega, it didn’t mean that either was better, Namjoon liked how different it was.

Experimentally he flattened his hands on the older chest, and used them to try and raise himself a little up and then drop down again, turned out that it was a lot harder than he had first thought, which might be because he was still weak coming from his low weight and his thighs were still sore.

Luckily Seungri was more than ready to help him, he used his grab on Namjoon’s waist to help assist him in his riding, at the same time he would nip half at Namjoon’s neck and scent gland and half on the bite that Daesung had placed earlier.

With small breaks in between it, he would whisper dirty into Namjoon’s ear, tell him how pretty he looked, or telling him to focus on Daesung and how he was clearly driving the other omega crazy.

Turned out that Daesung was a vocal lover, there was a short moment that Namjoon was actually worried that the older would hurt his vocal cords, he knew that Daesung still at times had trouble with them, and he didn’t want to be the reason why the other would have more issues with them.

But since Seungri didn’t seem worried about it, Namjoon decided not to be either, it wasn’t like he himself could keep in the noises that were flowing out of his mouth silence either, even if Namjoon was technically in control he couldn’t stop the sounds from being almost whines.

He knew it was just the heat, but he was already ready to come again, Namjoon thought he would have more stamina, but it seemed that the heat had robbed him of that.

And just to make it worse, the scents going all over the room was pushing him closer to the edge as well. The first time Daesung’s scent had not really been that strong since he wasn’t the person who took part in the intercourse, but now it was all over Namjoon in an almost suffocating way.

But while it was suffocating, it wasn’t in a negative way, it was kinda like when a puppy jumped on your face and you couldn’t breathe, but you were okay being killed by a cutely adorable bundle of joy.

Daesung’s scent was going crazy, and Namjoon could hear Seungri laugh a little into his neck “it is overwhelming isn’t it, both how he looks and how he smells. It is 10 times more extreme during his heat, you should almost see it. Since he had 4 alpha’s and no beta nor omega, his body almost goes crazy with it. His heat is even worse than yours is right now, we all smell like blueberries for days.” Namjoon could stop a little whine to escape his lips from that sentence, something Seungri was quick at catching onto “would you like that, to have Dae’s scent cling to you for days. I think you would, cute omega smelling like another cute omega?”

Daesung and Namjoon almost moaned at the same time, and Namjoon did his best to pick up the speed of his thrust with the help of Seungri. He could feel the alpha’s erection press into the small of his back, but it didn’t seem like he wanted to do something about it, he seemed like he was happy just helping Namjoon bounce along until he let one hand slide down to grasp at Namjoon erection.

And that was all it took, three pulls from Seungri and Namjoon could no longer hold it back as he came all over the olders hand, throwing his head back and a screaming void of sound left his mouth.

That seemed to be the end for Daesung as well, as Namjoon could feel as the other came as well.

This time he managed to at least stay awake and not get knocked the fuck out, but it was a challenge to not give in, he suddenly felt really really tired and he more or less slumped on top of Daesung.

The heat that was burning in his stomach, finally decided that it was sated, and Namjoon could relax comfortably on top of Daesung, while yes, it hadn’t felt as physically good at being knotted, but Namjoon had to admit that there wasn’t really any feeling that he could compare with knotting.

But this had felt as good if not better emotionally, blueberries and Namjoon’s own scent was swirling around, and instead of trying to overpower each other, it was like the two scents had found a medium of being together and blending well.

Namjoon liked how he knew that he would be smelling of blueberries of anybody smelled him now, while Daesung was still inside him, he was more than ever ready to sleep now, as he yawned, finally having caught his breath after the activities, he could feel somebody poke him at the side “no please, sleep now.”

He knew he was being whiny, but it was all Namjoon could think about, sleep, god he just wanted to sleep.

But Seungri didn’t seem like he wanted to let either Daesung nor Namjoon get the sleep that the omegas wanted, he poked and prodded Namjoon with the word “shower” until the youngest omega more or less just accepted that he was not gonna be able to go to sleep.

Later Namjoon would realize just how much of a mess he was, and how much he was making a pain of it for Seungri, but somehow it ended with him and Daesung in the bathtub while Seungri was playing housemaid and changing the sheets.

Namjoon’s plug was back inside him, and he was sitting with his back into Daesung’s chest, with the olders arms around his waist. He had washed the sweat out of Namjoon’s hair earlier, and then just settled for lazily scenting Namjoon’s neck, something it was easy for people to realize that Namjoon loved.

After that, the two Big Bang members managed to get a bit of more water into him, and some food, after that it was nap time.

The rest of Namjoon’s heat went with surprisingly few hitches after that, there was one special point in the middle of it, where Namjoon managed to almost freak out the two Big Bang members, his fever was rising and he was refusing water, but they managed to get him into a bathtub full of cold water and some ice cubes and cool him down.

Both Daesung and Seungri would lie if they said that it was a calm relaxing heat, without a doubt it had been one of the hardest heats they had both been through, but in the end, they had gotten through it.

When they could finally smell that the heat was over, Namjoon was asleep in Seungri’s arms, resting his head so he could sleep to the steady beat of the alpha’s heart. Seungri was running his fingers through Namjoon’s purple hair, scratching his scalp to keep the young omega in a comfortable sleep.

Daesung was smiling at the sight in front of him “it was rough, but it was worth it.”

Seungri nodded as much as he could without disturbing Namjoon “I’m glad you convinced him, some of the packs courting him have so little experience, it could have gone very wrong.”

Daesung just nodded as he made himself comfortable next to the two other idols, pulling the duvet over them, with Namjoon having finally exited his heat and no longer being overheated, he would need the extra warmth of the duvet, “yeah, and he was gonna go through it alone.”

Both Big Bang members, had a worried facial expression with the thought of that, if there was a group that knew how bad it could have gone with Namjoon spending his heat alone, it was them, that was what happened when you had 5 members with solo careers and tours all over the world, and specially with members to proud, or in Seungri’s case, to self conscious of the media, to go to a heat or a rut center for help when they were away.

Seungri looked down at Namjoon in his arms, Namjoon was a unique omega, that’s probably why they had to take to him so easily, it was kinda like he was a mix of Jiyong, Daesung, and a very clumsy cat. When they had first sought out Namjoon, it hadn’t been their intention to get as attached as they had, but the more they talked to the younger omega, the more they wanted to stay friends, and the more they got invested in him as a person.

Seungri lowered his voice, as to make sure not to wake Namjoon with his next sentence “I am worried about him,”

The Big Bang omega nodded sadly, Seungri wasn’t the only person worried “about Yoongi right? The pack alpha?”

“Yeah, I know he said that he wanted people to forgive that stupid alpha, but I am worried that he doesn’t understand that what Yoongi did was actually terrible, he seems too relaxed about it. I know that he says that Yoongi is getting help, but we know how quickly ‘getting’ help can go back to being themselves.”

Daesung just sighed, he knew what Seungri was talking about, but he on purpose pushed it out of his mind, he didn’t want to think about what Seungri was referring to, it was still an open wound that annoyed him. It was his own failure, even if it technically had nothing to do with him “What are we going to do if he doesn’t change?”

Daesung couldn’t stop himself from reaching over and lightly brushing the hair out of Namjoon’s sleeping face, and Seungri just sighed “I don’t know, I don’t know what we can do. All we can really do is trying to be his friend, try to slowly prod as his denial, I am not saying we are gonna make him discount BTS nor Yoongi, but denial isn’t good for him. He is gonna put more trust in Yoongi before he has deserved it.”

“I am afraid that he is gonna get hurt again, he seems to put everybody else in front of him, and you heard what Ji said about underground rappers treats and thinks about omega’s. He was over 18 when the BTS pack was created, his suppressed his subgender cause of that scene, not cause of Yoongi. He has gone through so much already, and I am afraid that if he gets hurt like this again, there is no saving him, that he will be too far away mentally for anybody to help him.” Daesung couldn’t look away from the younger omega in Seungri’s arms.

Namjoon looked so soft and vulnerable at that moment, yes he might be much taller than Daesung and Seungri, but still too skinny for his own good and a relaxed sleeping face made him look as young as he really was.

Seungri seemed to think the same, he reached over to run his thumb over Daesung’s face to relax his features “we can’t and shouldn’t control what he does, all we can do it give him a place to go if things go wrong. We are gonna make sure, that he never comes to a point, where he is so broken that nothing can put him back together.

You know that both Jiyong and Youngbae took to him a lot already, we are all gonna be there for him, and you know that Seunghyun is gonna feel the same. We can help him, Namjoon is our friend now, no matter what happens and what goes down, we can help him now.”

Daesung still looked worried “he is blaming himself, he isn’t saying it, but it leaks out of every facid of his body, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

“Slow acceptance, nobody is gonna be okay from one day to another.”

Both just looked at each other for a while, before Daesung nodded “you are right since when are you the adult one?”

Seungri shrugged “one of us are gonna have to be, now go to sleep you are exhausted, and I think Joonie wants to get some real food when he wakes up, god knows I do.”

Daesung would have to agree as he cuddled up behind Namjoon and swung an arm around both alpha and omega “food sounds good,” he yawned, but he would have to admit that sleep sounded even better.

The heat had lasted 4 days, where none of them had gotten any real food other than what was prepped for the heat. While it was enough to sustain them, all three wanted some real food now with the heat no longer clouding their mind.

With the heat no longer forcing his inner needs to the surface, Namjoon felt shy waking up between the two older idols, but he didn’t get to think about it too long, before he was lightly pulled along and dressed by Daesung, who seemed to decide that none of their states of undressed seemed appropriate.

It was first when Namjoon sleepily was leaning on Seungri’s back in the kitchen, trying to be allowed to just sleep leaning on the shorter alpha, that he realized what hoodie he was wearing… that scent of fig and vanilla bourbon… that was a scent that Namjoon had known the longest without it being related to him, Jiho and Kyung.

Namjoon knew that he was wearing a dumb grin on his face, but he was still a bit silly from the heat, and it was so long time since he had seen some of his oldest friends, and the thought that in a day or two he would be seeing them and the rest of Block B, made him smile like a silly goose.

A little caught up in his old mind, Namjoon didn’t notice how Daesung was looking at him with a soft smile, he was glad that the younger omega liked the choice of hoodie. While they might not really know a lot of the groups that Namjoon was getting courted by, the knew Jiho, Youngbae had worked with him, which had lead to them all getting to know the other rapper.

Jiho was a good kid, and anybody he was pack with had to be decent as well, while Daesung knew it wasn’t his place to pick favorites, he had to admit that Block B was his favorite for Namjoon’s hopefully pack. They had the strongest connection to Namjoon.

While yes, BTS might be his group, but Block B had known him before Rap Monster.

But things never seemed to quiet down in Namjoon’s life, as with perfect timing, almost like a certain alpha had messaged him that Namjoon’s rut was over, a knock was sounding on Namjoon’s door.

With all the windows open trying to air out the scent of heat, it was easy for them to smell the scent, all of them still being sensitive from said heat.

Daesung just looked shocked as the scent of mango rolled over him, a scent that he last had smelled it smelled rotten and terrible, instead now smelling soft and ripe.

And all Daesung could think was “he is okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungri is now the only Big Bang member not in the military :( Sad panda.
> 
> One chapter left and then Namjoon is leaving for Block B! Anybody ready for some Block B action.
> 
> Well technically we are gonna catch up with Taehyung first, which the next chapter of Namjoon are gonna help with a little first!


	71. Nothing would change, that even if you disappeared, nothing would change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one week!? What is this!?

“Tae!” as Daesung quickly left the kitchen to greet whoever was knocking on the door, Namjoon felt confused. **  
**

That wasn’t Taehyung? Taehyung had this amazing peanut scent, a mixture of peanut butter and fresh peanuts, it was a scent that was amazing at clearing pallets. Where omega’s scents could, at times be overwhelmingly sweet and alpha’s just… rough, beta scents like Taehyung's were freeing and cleansing.

Also, Daesung didn’t know Taehyung! Especially not enough to call him by a nickname, something wasn’t right. Even tho Namjoon still felt slightly sluggish after his heat, but he followed Seungri to the door where they found Daesung hugging a thing alpha close to his chest.

And then everything made sense.

It was Tae.

Just not the Tae that Namjoon thought it was

Nam Taehyun, not Kim Taehyung.

Namjoon would lie if he ever said that he was very close with Taehyun, it didn't cause he had something against Taehyun, more his former pack alpha, Bobby or Jiwon, but Namjoon preferred to just call him Bobby, it made him less human.

Bobby was in Namjoon’s humble opinion, a fucking cunt, pack alpha of the combined WinKon pack he hadn’t started out that badly, but it was clear that the alpha had a backward view of the world, he seemed to heavily dislike omega’s, looking down on them as weaker.

The only reason he seemed to get along so well with the packs founding omega was cause B.I was a hard omega. Bobby seemed to love taking shots at omega rappers.

For somebody who was an IDOL rapper not somebody who came from underground rapping, so he didn’t have his mind twisted by that, he seemed to come to the conclusion by himself.

And then there were the distracts after 'show me the money', yes there had only been two omega rappers on "show me the money", and neither had done well, but it seemed to feed into Bobby’s delusional state.

Wonshik had been the one this went under the skin of the most, while yes he was a hard omega, but he was a proud omega as well. When people said ‘but you are a hard omega’ he was always sure to say that most importantly of all, he was an omega. He had tried to answer back, but he ended up getting fallout from his fans after it.

Namjoon was happy when he had heard that Taehyun had finally left WinKon a few months ago, Taehyun was close with Seventeen and by that close to Namjoon’s Taehyung. And he had been the one that Taehyung had ranted to in worry for the omega, Namjoon still wasn’t sure why he was the one that the BTS beta had gone to with his worry, but he was glad that even after everything that had gone through, he was still somebody Taehyung trusted.

Taehyun looked… happy.

He looked good, healthy and happy, and he smiled hugging Daesung back.

“That was fast,” Seungri noticed from his spot with his arms around Namjoon’s shoulder.

That was when Daesung seemed to catch on as he glared at Seungri “you knew, you were the one who called him!”

All the alpha did was laugh lightly “he wanted to talk to Namjoon, and you have seemed to almost go insane with worry about him, even tho you knew that he was happy to know, so this way we managed to clear everything out.”

Daesung finally seemed to be done trying to suffocate the much skinnier omega in his chest, it kinda looked funny since Taehyun was a lot taller than Daesung, “you are happy right?” the Big Bang omega sounded so worried, and Namjoon couldn’t stop to feel with him.

He had bumped into Taehyun during there Sentimental promotion circle, and Namjoon could see why Taehyun wasn’t physically meeting fans, his mango scent had been rotten, it was clear how badly and depressed the younger omega was.

The scent of clove from BI and rosemary from Bobby had tried to cover it, but it had been impossible for them to completely cover it up, Namjoon had wanted to stop and think about it, but he never had the time, he was being dragged away by Yoongi a few seconds later, the older alpha annoyed with how Namjoon always seemed to half flow towards Jackson everytime they were out.

The Taehyun in front him was different, and it made Namjoon feel better.

Taehyun smiled at all three of them “yeah I am feeling better, it’s… different to be in a new pack, but it was the right choice to make.”

Namjoon could no longer keep his mouth shut “you joined a new pack?” it had been many months since Taehyun left Winner and even more months since he had left the WinKon pack. Namjoon like many other people, hadn’t hurt anything of Taehyun even being courted by another pack, so there was only one real option when Taehyun nodded “Seventeen?”

“The older pack, yes. I didn’t want the courting to be public while it was going on, it was only really them and of course Taehyung that knew what was going on. I didn’t want… him… to know that I was moving on.”

He was clearly Bobby, he didn’t seem to happy with somebody leaving his pack, Namjoon could understand why Taehyun didn’t want it to be public knowledge, but he smiled at Taehyun a little shyly.

“I am glad you are happy, Tae told me a few things about what was going on. He was very worried about you.”

With the mention of the BTS beta Taehyun’s face lit up “he would, he is silly like that, worrying about me when he should worry about himself more.”

“Have you seen him while with Seventeen? Is he okay? He kinda started avoiding me after he found out that I knew about his past.” Namjoon couldn’t stop all the words from tumbling out of his mouth, while yes he saw Taehyung, the younger had been awkward around him.

“What about we make some tea, and then sit in the living room, so you know… we don’t just stand around in the entrance hall and talk?” Seungri let his arm slide down from Namjoon’s shoulder after giving him a quick squish.

When all of them had found their way to the living room, sitting in the couches with hot cups of tea in their hands it was slowly revealed why Taehyun had found it so important to talk to Namjoon “Taehyung is… better, we had one minor issue where he and Jeonghan got into a fight, and he ran away, but we solved that.”

“Has he… “ Namjoon swallowed for a second, not sure how to really ask what he wanted, “has he… accepted…” he wasn’t sure how to say it.

“Accepted that he is a beta? Yeah… but I don’t think it’s enough, he pretends that he is happy with it. But he isn’t I know he isn’t. Hansol had his heat, he loves having as many people around him during his heat as possible, for me, it would have been overwhelming, but Hansol loves it. Even if those people aren’t focused on him, just that they are there. Taehyung has joined a few times, Hansol’s inner omega really likes beta’s, but specially Taehyung because he makes him laugh.

But during his last heat, Taehyung said he wanted to get something to drink, and when he didn’t come back after 30 minutes, I and Joshua got worried… We found him crying in the kitchen trying to hide it. He said nothing was wrong, but I think that was when it really hit him, that he isn’t an omega, he is never gonna have a heat, and I don’t think he is okay with it. He made us promise not to tell the other, he didn’t want to worry anybody during Hansol’s heat.

He is also so busy being worried about everybody other than himself, he doesn’t understand that his issues are equally as important and valid to fix, this isn’t good for him. Bts aren’t good for him.”

When Taehyun finished his rant, Namjoon could feel how every part of his body tightened up, while he knew this wasn’t an attack him, it felt like it. It felt like it was an attack on everything he was, first when Seungri put a warm hand on his thigh and lightly petted him, did he manage to relax a little “are you telling us to give up on him?”

Namjoon’s voice was no longer friendly.

Taehyun surprisingly didn’t look taken back, he just sighed “I am not telling you to do anything, this is another reason I wanted to talk with you. You are not part of the BTS pack, it is not your job to fix their pack stuff. I know we don’t know each other very well, but I have talked to Taehyung so much over a long while that I feel I know you.

There are two reasons why I wanted to talk to you, worry about Taehyung and worry for you. I know you are letting other people court you, and I know you are saying that you are giving them a chance, but you are not giving your inner omega a real chance of accepting them. Cause you act like it is your job to fix the BTS packs problems, it isn’t there is about 20% chance you join them, you should not fix their problems! They should fix their problems!”

“They are still my group.” Namjoon could still hear how his tone of voice was defensive, he knew that Taehyun had a point, and he knew that he should be doing what the other omega was saying. Pack matters were deeply personal things, Namjoon shouldn’t be trying to solve it, it wasn’t his place, he should focus on what was best for him, but he didn’t know how to do that. Since he had first become an idol, all he had ever done was worry about BTS, even when he was constantly getting shut down and out, he was always worried about them.

Taehyun leaned over and put his hands over Namjoon’s “and they will always be your group and some of your closest friends, even if you don’t pick them, but you have to let go if this thought that you are the one to deal with their pack issues.”

Namjoon sighed as Seungri spoke up “isn’t that a little hypocritical of you? Saying that he shouldn’t get involved with their pack duty, that he has given them the starting push, now they should be allowed to finish the job themselves, and he can no longer protect them? That they now themselves needs to do the work, either they sink or they float? But it sounds like you want his help with Taehyung?” he seemed a lot less trusting of Taehyun than Daesung did.

The youngest omega had the decency to blush “yes and no, I know better than everybody what happens when you refuse you let your inner omega actually have a say in your things, when you think too much and feel too little. I got my bite 21 times before I finally accepted it, and that hurt me mentally every time.

If I had given my omega chance, I would never have joined the WinKon pack, I would have advised we made our own, or just not joined, but I didn’t do that. Cause I refused to accept it, I still deal with the issues from this, me and Namjoon are similar in a lot of ways. The more Taehyung talked about him the last few weeks, the more I am scared that he will make my mistake.

I know that I am asking a lot, not just having this speech about ‘focus on yourself, you need to let them fix their own issues, you don’t owe them anything,’ but also that the same time asking him to help me with Taehyung, but the reason I am saying this is because I have nobody else to go to.”

The idea of him, convincing Taehyung to leave the BTS pack… it hurt his soul, but he knew where Taehyun was coming from, Namjoon himself needed to work on putting himself first, he remembered what Jiyong had told him about the difference of being the group leader and pack leader. He kept saying that he wasn’t giving BTS an advantage, but he was wasn’t he? While yes, he was seriously considering the other groups as well, and he couldn’t count anybody out, but he always acted like he needed to protect BTS.

Seungri wanted to speak up it was clear, the soft alpha didn’t seem happy with Taehyun’s words, but Namjoon quickly stopped him, for other people what the young omega was saying might sound selfish and self-serving, but it was clear to Namjoon, that Taehyun cared a lot, and he was scared, that was clear to him.

Taehyun didn’t seem to know what to actually do, he didn’t seem to know what he was supposed to do, and it made sense how he came to that conclusion, it really did, for everybody who weren’t Taehyung “I think you are right, that maybe BTS isn’t the best for Taehyung, but leaving them is never going to happen. While you could make an argument for other people leaving BTS, Taehyung is never going to. He is too attached, if he left BTS or if BTS broke as a pack, it would destroy him, and I am not sure if anybody could put him back together.

I know Seventeen love him, that you guys love him,” Taehyun blushed even more, and for a second it looked like he would speak up before Namjoon continued “don’t deny it, I am not blind, while I might be the only one to notice it, I have noticed it.

I want to help Taehyung I really do, other than Yoongi, he is the one I am the most worried about, everybody else, know that the deserve help, and they are gonna get it, but Taehyung. He doesn’t understand what is wrong, he doesn’t get that.”

Taehyun hung his head in sadness “I want to help him like he helped me, I feel so useless and it seems like… all his issues are made worse by BTS, I am afraid that what we do to help him is gonna be mitigated by BTS.

Yes, we all love him, yes, but that also means that we want the best for him, I know that I sound selfish, but you know him even better than we do. What are we supposed to do, shall we just… I don’t know, I want him to be happy! But I can’t see that with BTS!” he looked so sad and just like he wanted to cry.

Namjoon lightly patted the hand of his still holding Namjoon’s “I understand, I really do, but if Taehyung has to leave BTS, which I don’t think he will ever do, he has to come to that conclusion by himself, he is never going to fall in love with somebody else while he is with BTS, it is simply not how Taehyung works, that is the same reason that he is never going to actually notice that you guys love him, he doesn’t even see it as an option.”

“Please don’t think that I am saying this because we want him with us, I love him, I really do. Do you think… He can be happy with BTS?” Taehyun’s voice was so hesitant, and Namjoon almost laughed with how quickly the conversation had changed.

He had to respect the younger omega, Taehyun clearly cared a lot about Taehyung, enough that Taehyung’s feelings for Namjoon had transferred into Taehyun. It was sure that he wanted to talk to Namjoon but hadn’t really prepared what he wanted to say, he didn’t have an almost written down speech.

And it was this roughness around what Taehyun wanted to say, the emotions behind the youngers words, he meant everything he was saying. He clearly wanted the best for Taehyung and he was terrified that Namjoon would make a mistake, like what he had done.

“I don’t know.” Namjoon couldn’t get himself to lie to make the other feel better, he wanted to be honest, Taehyun and the rest of Seventeen had done so much for Taehyung, for one of the people that meant the most in the world to Namjoon, he couldn’t lie, he had to tell the truth. “I don’t know, but it is our best option for Taehyung to end up whole. All of us, we want what is best for Taehyung, even if it isn’t us.”

Taehyun nodded slowly, “you are right, I just… you understand what I meant right, I weren’t trying to be selfish, people say that I can come off as entitled sometimes, even if I don’t mean to.”

Namjoon just smiled “we are okay, I am just glad that Taehyung has people that love him so much.”

“You will take what I said into account right? About yourself, about how you don’t owe BTS anything, about listening to your inner omega, when it comes to packing stuff, it knows better than us at times.”

“Yeah, you are right, I… it’s easy to forget at times, I needed the reminder.”

The spend almost two hours mainly just talking about music, Daesung, and Seungri who had been silent mainly under the conversation, had taken to going back to the kitchen and making some food while the two younger idols go to know each other better.

As Taehyung got ready to leave, Daesung seemed to try and almost kill him in tight hug, that the younger omega seemed to take with strides, and right before the door closed he looked at Namjoon “listen to your inner omega, give all the packs courting you a chance, and maybe, none of them are going to fit you, maybe you will find your pack where you least expect it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everybody who has been reading the teaser and spoilers on my twitter, I am sorry I played with your emotions.


	72. Keeping up with Taehyung, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A TAEHYUNG CHAPTER!

Last time we saw Taehyung:

_ ‘It wasn’t even 10 minutes after Seokjin left that Taehyung opened the door to the dorm and finally arrived home. He had spent the last 6 days with Seventeen and doing vocal practice for their upcoming album. With his voice being so unique, it was often that he got vocal lessons alone. While yes it had been amazing being in the main nest with almost too many arms and legs to count and enough hugs and cuddles going around that everybody was happy, Taehyung had missed his own pack. _

_ The thing was when he got home, it was empty cold and empty. “Hello?” The air in the dorm was mostly stale like there hadn’t been enough people to fill it with new and fresh scent. Seokjin’s rose scent was still lingering in the room, but anything else was gone. No Jungkook peppermint, not strong cinnamon from Yoongi, no soft caramel from Jimin to even it all out, it just seemed to abandon. _

_ As he made its way through the dorm he found that two of the solo rooms seemed to have been slept in one filled with the sweet but strong honey of Hoseok, the other by soft Seokjin roses. _

_ When he got to the nest it seemed even more abandoned, everything just seemed dead. Even though he had told them he would come home today, his legs gave out from under him as he ended on the ground on his knees. “I missed you… Why didn’t you miss me?” And like that all the good work Seventeen had done, become undone.’ _

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Taehyung wasn’t sure how long time he was sitting on the ground, his phone started ringing knocking him out of the trance he had been in.

He answered the phone without even thinking about checking who it was that called him, all he could do was focus on the emptiness of the dorm, and about how he was alone again, how everybody seemed to have forgotten him.

 

“Tae baby? You said you would send us a text when you came home safe, we were starting to get worried about you,” the voice through the phone was Jihoon.

“Oh yeah… I forgot.” his voice was dead, and it was almost ruined from his crying.

Crying? He hadn’t even noticed that he had started to cry, but he noticed now how wet his face was, normally Taehyung would care, he would care that he was making the Seventeen pack alpha worried, but at that moment he couldn’t get himself to care at the moment.

“Tae? What happened, are you okay?” Jihoon sounded so worried, it was clear that he knew Taehyung well enough to know that there was something wrong with his tone of voice.

“No,” Taehyung almost whimpered “they aren’t here, nobody is here, they were gone when I came home. Don’t they want me? Is it cause I am a failure? Cause I am not an omega?”

That was when Jihoon seemed to understand what was going on, “of course not, I am sure it’s just a misunderstanding, come back here, and then we contact the rest of your pack and find out what is going on, are you at the dorm?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung felt dead inside, “I am in the dorm… it’s so empty.” it was impossible to hear the happy beta in his voice from earlier when he had left Seventeen he had been happy, he had believed that he would come home and they would work it out, but now everybody was gone, where was everybody?

A powerful sob wrecked his body as he slid the rest of the way down, so he was instead just lying on the ground. Taehyung could kinda hear how Jihoon kept speaking to him on the phone, but he didn’t really listen.

He didn’t know how long time he was lying on the ground, curled up in a ball on the living room floor, but the stale smell of scents long gone was pushed away from him- Pine, Lotus, and fresh cut mango’s replaced his sense of smell, and as a soft hand was placed on his hand the white noise filling his ears was chased away “Tae?”

It was Mingyu who had placed his hand on Taehyung, “they are gone,” it was simply all he could focus on, where was his pack, did they not want him anymore.

“No please look at me, they aren’t gone, I called them, nobody is gone, you are just all gonna spend a little time apart. Remember how you said that you wanted Seokjin to feel better and Hoseok to get some help. That is what they are doing, everybody just thought you were gonna stay with us for a while. Nobody has left you, nobody is leaving you.” Seungcheol was kneeling in front of Taehyung with the younger face between his hands forcing Taehyung to keep looking at him.

“They didn’t… leave me? They still want me?” In his scrambled mind, Taehyung had managed to convince himself that BTS was finally gonna punish him for not being an omega, for letting everybody down, that they had enough of him being a disappointment.

“No, of course, they didn’t, they still love you very much.” Mingyu was sitting behind him petting the younger hair. He had to fight very hard with himself, not to point out that they, Seventeen, loved Taehyun just as much, but he knew it wasn’t the time.

They all might love Taehyung, but that wasn’t what Taehyung needed. He needed his own pack to love an respect him.

It had been hard for all of them to accept that while they might all feel that Taehyung belonged with them, that they weren’t right for Taehyung. The rest of Seventeen had slowly accepted it, but it had been harder for Mingyu, Jeonghan, and Hansol. They had slowly accepted it, but moments like this. Mingyu just wanted to steal Taehyung away and never let him go again.

He wanted to tell Taehyung everything, that they all loved him so much, not for his subgender, but for him. He wanted to tell Taehyung that the reason Hansol loved having him at his heat, didn't cause they didn’t have a lot of beta’s it was because he was Taehyung and he made Hansol laugh instead of just feeling… slutty.

But that wasn’t an option, and they all knew it, they couldn’t just tell Taehyung that. Taehyung was never gonna leave the BTS pack unless they forced him out, and even if BTS did that, none of the members of Seventeen thought, that they would actually be able to put the pieces of Taehyung back together. Taehyung was like a person with sickness, that was so deep inside him, that they could no longer save him from it, all they could do was making him comfortable with living with it.

“But…” Seungcheol interrupted him before he could finish that sentence.

“No but, everything is okay, we promise you, baby.”

For a few seconds, Taehyung just stared at him with big open eyes, blinking a few times, like he was confused like he didn’t actually completely understand what was going on, but then he nodded “okay.”

It was clear to all of them that Taehyung didn’t really believe it, but he had stopped crying and calmed down a little, which was a start that they could work with.

It was Taehyun’s turn to sit down next to the other Tae on the ground “look at the bright side, you get to spend some time with me and the rest of the Seventeen guys before you and your pack leave for Japan.”

“Tae?” Taehyung looked actually surprised to see the older omega, while yes he had smelled Taehyun’s scent, but he hadn’t actually realized that he was here “When did you come back?”

“10 minutes after you left, I do always have the worst timing.” Taehyun smiled a private soft smile that Taehyung himself couldn’t return.

“Are you… staying?” Taehyung knew that the other Tae had taken a break from Seventeen to get his head straight, to make sure that it was actually what he wanted. The BTS beta had felt sorry for Seventeen, but he could also understand why the other was hesitant to join Seventeen.

It was clear that they were a good fit for Taehyun, but the poor omega had already been through so much.

Taehyun nodded “yeah, I am staying. I am not gonna take the bite yet, not today, not tomorrow, but soon.” he brushed a little Taehyung’s hair out of his eyes “let’s go home, it’s kinda cold here.”

Now that he had calmed down a little, Taehyung could feel that the omega was right, it was cold, but he had somehow not felt it until now, a little hesitant he nodded “yeah.”

Taehyung was about to try and get his asleep legs to work and get himself to move, but he never got the chance as he ended up being picked up in bridal style by an eager Mingyu “hello” the alpha was giggling, laughter infectious, almost forcing a laugh from Taehyung as well.

“You don’t have to carry me, I can move!” he didn’t want Mingyu to overwork himself, he knew that they all had practice earlier just like he himself had.

Mingyu just smiled as he leaned down to press a kiss to Taehyung’s forehead “I wanted to, and now you can’t run from me!”

Taehyung after that just let himself be carried, he knew better than to argue with Mingyu, while the other might look like he is tough and cool on the outside, in reality, he was a bright star and he just liked to have people close and hugs. When they got to the car, Taehyung did what he did best… he fell asleep after a good cry.

Cuddled up against his fellow beta, with Taehyun petting his thigh soft, Taehyung managed to fall into a more relaxing sleep than he had expected. He was lightly shaken awake as he was placed on a sofa, and then somebody more or less threw themselves on top of him “TAEHYUNG!”

Taehyung didn’t even have time to think before Chan had thrown himself on top of him, and Taehyung found himself with the still yet to present maknae of Seventeen. He hadn’t really seen Chan or anybody else from the youngest Seventeen pack, they had tried to spend time at a dorm for themselves, to find out if they wanted their own or they wanted to share with the other pack.

Taehyung rubbed his eyes, still a little sleepy from the nap in the car “Chan,” he mumbled out before he hugged the younger close, his scent was still missing yet to present, so Taehyung found it relaxing. Chan could be his new cuddle bear.

Luckily it seemed like Chan was okay with it “I heard that you were gonna stay with us until you leave for Japan! We have all decided that we want to stay in this dorm as well, while everybody here technically isn’t our pack, it still felt weird not to have them there! So we are staying!”

Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from giggling, while yes Chan hadn’t presented yet, he still acted like he was already part of the performance pack. Everybody, from performance to the main Seventeen pack, to their manager, to Taehyung and Taehyun had pointed out multiple times that Chan wasn’t ready to lock himself in a pack yet, and nobody would give him the bite before multiple weeks after his presentation.

Luckily, Chan seemed to understand this, he had just said that for the moment, performance pack felt right, and he knew nobody would hold it over him if it wasn’t the pack he would end up with.

“That's nice,” he yawned, crying always tired him out. He was fine with Chan more or less flopped on top of him.

With his hand in Chan’s hair, Taehyung fell asleep again, it really did tire him out.

When he woke up the third time that day, he woke up to the smell of food, Japchae to be precise. Taehyung was almost instantly awake by the smell of his favorite dish, turn out it was by no accident that the smell was so strong,

A bowl of steaming hot food was standing on the table next to him and on the end of the couch with Taehyung legs over his thighs was Wonwoo sitting shoveling down the feet eagerly, Chan wasn’t actually that short, he was around the same height as Taehyung, but he had an ability to just curl himself up and sleep on top of people.

Chan was the youngest of his family pack, and the youngest member of Seventeen, it was kinda like the younger had just kinda gotten used to being babied, and come to actually accept it.

Everybody, including Taehyung, had just accepted that weird habit of his, Taehyung looked over the youngest head at Wonwoo, he had been the slowest to warm up to Taehyung, at first he had been worried that Wonwoo didn’t actually like him, but it turned out that Wonwoo was just slow at warming up to people in general.

There had been one specific moment that had really solidified their friendship, well more than friendship for Wonwoo, but Taehyun hadn’t known that.

Jimin’s heat had started back in the BTS pack.

For most packs, it was a happy and fun time of love, in the BTS pack it was different, only the alphas was allowed with Jimin during the heats, and neither was allowed to be alone with him only Yoongi was.

That lead to Seokjin and Taehyung just… being alone together during it, and Jimin’s heats were bad, at first they had tried to stay together and spend the time with Namjoon, but as Namjoon caved more in on himself and Seokjin seemed to prefer the dud’s company to Taehyung, the BTS beta had desperately needed to get out of the dorm.

Jimin’s heat was extra hard on Taehyung, hearing how hard it was from Jimin after, Taehyung always felt like it was his fault, he was supposed to have been an omega! If he had been an omega, then Jimin’s heat wouldn’t be so bad, and Taehyung would have been able to join!

Right? Yoongi would have been fine with another omega joining during the heat right? Taehyung could understand why Yoongi preferred it just to be him during the heat and his need to push the other alpha’s out, it wasn’t selfishness, right? It was him trying to keep Jimin safe. He wouldn’t need to if Taehyung could just have done his fucking job, and presented as a stupid omega.

Yeah… Jimin’s heats were hard for him.

He had to get out.

It had been almost 4 months after he had started being close friends with Seventeen, and they had always said that he was welcome to come to them at any time that he wanted, and Taehyung really needed his sanctuary at that time.

Taehyung knew that he had a habit of running away from things when they became too much for him, this was one of the reason that he had actually forgotten his phone, this meant that he couldn’t text ahead and tell them he was coming.

He thought it was gonna be okay, most of the time, at least one of them were home, and if they weren’t then it was okay cause Taehyung had a key, which was given to him for moments like this.

He knocked on the door, and it was quickly opened by Wonwoo he was looking at him a little surprised “Tae?”

So it wasn’t that they were on bad terms, it was more than they really didn’t know each other that well. Wonwoo was slow at opening up to people, and Taehyung’s personality could at times be a little over the top for people just getting to know him.

But that wasn’t the only thing that caught Taehyung of guard, it was also the fact that the scent of pomegranate that normally came from the alpha was different, it was… “are you in rut?”

He couldn’t stop himself from blurting it out, he never really had a conversation with an alpha during their rut, they always isolated themselves with Jimin, but Taehyung could smell no omega close by.

Wonwoo seemed a little hesitant and shy as he nodded “yeah, uhm... yeah,”

 

“Shouldn’t you be with your omega’s?” While yes Taehyung didn’t really listen that well in class when he first presented, but he knew that alpha’s had to be near their pack during ruts, it was better for them.

Wonwoo didn’t strike him as the stupid type to try and be alone during a rut, but he just shrugged “it started 30 minutes ago, my ruts are very unpredictable for some reason, there is no stress yet, Seungcheol and Mingyu should be the first two home in a few hours. I can wait until then.” he let Taehyung in the door and showed him towards the living room, he knew better than to question and ask while Taehyung was here.

Wonwoo had already at that point, together with the rest of Seventeen developed a dislike for BTS, but the first time Jeonghan even in a joke had tried to shit on Yoongi and his ability to lead a pack, Taehyung had gotten very defensive about it. While the BTS beta, at that time, hadn’t told Seventeen about his past, they weren’t stupid, and they knew that something was wrong with him and his subgender, but they found it betta to slowly help him instead of being pushy about it.

Taehyung wasn’t calmed down by Wonwoo insistent that it was gonna be okay, the two members he had mentioned weren’t omega’s, how would they help WonWoo during a rut, he voiced his worry while Wonwoo was being a nice host and making a cup of tea to both of them, while trying to ignore the sweet scent of peanuts coming from Taehyung.

He had decided that he and the beta weren’t close enough for Wonwoo to give into his instinct and just hug the beta to take in the sweet scent of peanuts and probably do some other stuff as well. The thing was that Wonwoo knew that his rut was a lot more sexual than most peoples, he had actually just planned on spending the next few hours jerking it with his face pushed into a pillow with Jihoon’s scent.

“Of course they aren’t omegas, but they are still my pack, alphas and betas aren’t worse less than omegas,” Taehyung confused him in general, sometimes it was like the beta hated his own subgender and found them useless.

As he sat the cup of tea down, he sat next to Taehyung the seemed to be unable to stop sniffing the air, even when he tried to stop, making Wonwoo a little self-conscious that the other didn’t like his scent “I am sorry, is it too much? The scent? I didn’t know that you didn’t like rut scents.”

Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from licking his lips, Wonwoo smelled amazingly “I just never… Smelt an alpha in rut for more than a few minutes, it's a little… overwhelming! In a good way!” it was in a good way, Wonwoo smelled so good and nice and of pomegranates and Taehyung just kinda wanted to eat him, which was kinda weird.

Then it was Wonwoo’s turn to be confused “but you guys have 3 alphas, do they not have ruts?” now that was a medical condition that Wonwoo would be surprised if wasn’t public knowledge between idols if three alpha’s in the same pack had major medical issues like this… everybody would know, yes the public wouldn’t but idols would.

“Of course they have ruts!” Taehyung was still very defensive about his pack “but they are alpha’s and I am not an omega, they spend time with Jimin.” while he wasn’t aware of it, Wonwoo could very clearly hear the sadness in Taehyung’s voice, it was so clear that the other wanted to be an omega so badly.

Wonwoo felt sorry for the older idol, while yes Taehyung was older than him, he still felt the need to almost protect him, he could see what some of the other members were talking about. This was really the first time that he had talked alone with Taehyung, he could see why everybody else wanted to protect him. Wonwoo didn’t care about what kind of shenanigans BTS was pulling, but he refused to be part of deceiving the beta, he deserved better.

“Ruts doesn’t need omegas, while yes it is different between alphas, some are more sexual than other, but we just… need people. It doesn’t matter if its friends or pack really, while yes, alphas can't do more than 4 ruts away from their pack, but a few with just friends are okay. As long as it is people that the alpha trusts. While we were still trainees, me and Jihoons ruts synced up, and we were the only presented people there.” Wonwoo couldn’t stop himself from half awkwardly putting an arm around Taehyung’s shoulders, for two reasons, the beta deserved a hug and he smelled really really good.

Taehyung looked so confused “I… why do they always prefer Jimin then, it’s always only Jimin… It’s nobody else, they love me… I know they love me. This can’t be right!”

Wonwoo wasn’t sure if it was because of his rut, or because of how he felt so bad for Taehyung, or because he wanted him to feel better, or just cause it felt natural. He knew that Taehyung had been there during Jeonghan’s heat and that he had fooled around with other Seventeen members, so it wasn’t that weird.

But for Wonwoo, a person that took a while for him open up to people, this was his admission that yes, he got it, he got the feelings that other members of Seventeen had for Taehyung, he got it now.

He turned Taehyung’s head with the softest grab that he could, and then he carefully pressed his lips to Taehyung’s in a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the teaser, I will do the same that I did on my twitter:
> 
> Eyes are watching Jimin from the darkness.


	73. Aprils fools!

Namjoon stuck his arm towards the pack alpha without hesitation, the alpha who was sitting in front him took it with a little hesitation “are you sure this is where you want it?” he lightly ran a finger over Namjoon’s wrist, petting it “when the bite is first there, you can’t remove it, this is where it is going to be… Hopefully forever.” **  
**

Namjoon showed no hesitation in nodding “I have thought about it, this is where I want it, this is not a spur of the moment, while you guys were courting me, I knew where I wanted it. This is another a repeat of last time, this is not giving an omega not ready for it the bite, this is me having been courted and thought about it, over and over again.”

The tall alpha nodded, he knew better than to question Namjoon, the omega had grown so much since he had presented, if Namjoon said he was ready, then he was gonna trust Namjoon.

And it wasn’t like they hadn’t courted Namjoon for a while, but with them having their other omega start the pack way to early they were a little hesitant.

While yes they loved Namjoon, they wanted Namjoon to be 100 percent sure, they wanted to have Namjoon forever.

The alpha leaned down a little and pressed a kiss to Namjoon’s pulse point “we love you, you know that right. All of us, we love you so much. We didn’t expect for this to happen when we first met you, but we are all so happy that you are here, we thought that we would have to give you up, we were ready to give you up for your happiness.”

Namjoon himself couldn’t stop from smiling a soft smile at the alpha, “that is why you guys were right for me, also… I love you guys, I never expected this, it came out of nowhere, but when I needed somebody to trust, when I needed somebody to be safe with, it was you guys, when everything went to shit… It was you guys I came to, it was you gúys who my inner omega trusted.” he intertwined their fingers “and that trust became love, I am sure.”

The alpha knew better than to question Namjoon more than that, he raised the youngers wrist to his mouth, and when he was given a soft smile from the other he bit down.

Namjoon wasn’t sure what he had expected, but everything was suddenly to much, it was like he was feeling everything. For a split second, he could clearly hear all five members of the pack's thoughts in his, the four other was waitings outside, the door was open, but they wanted to give the pack alpha and Namjoon a little bit of space.

But as they as well could feel Namjoon presence in their mind, they quick to enter the room, Namjoon just sat there staring into the air for a second, he had to get used to everything, but when he did and everything finally fell into place, he could feel everything in his mind, but not overwhelmingly.

They were all there summing far back in his mind, comfortably reminding him that they were there.

Seunghyun, his new pack alpha,

Youngbae,

Jiyong,

Seungri,

And Daesung.

He had finally found his pack…

His inner omega had chosen long ago.

Big Bang was his pack,

And he was finally happy and safe.


	74. I don't even know how to explain, You see I'm sayin...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A NAMJOON CHAPTER NOT A TAEHYUNG CHAPTER!
> 
> For the people who hadn't noticed... Last chapter was an April fools xD sorry my dudes XD but now, please do enjoy!

Namjoon was working when Yukwon arrived at the omega living space, all windows were open even during the February cold, but with how Yukwon’s very very sensitive nose could pick up on the lingering scent of heat, Namjoon’s own scent and 3 other scent’s, he couldn’t really blame Namjoon for wanting to air everything out, it was normal for omegas to not really enjoy the scent of their own heat after it was over. **  
**

When he knocked on the door he was standing right next to the window, and he could hear Namjoon let out out a surprised sound, and then a crash was heard as Namjoon seemed to fall on something, and then a loud FUCK was heard, that left the Block B alpha smiling.

That was good, Jiho had expressed that he was worried that Namjoon was too afraid to be himself, that he was scared… that being an omega had changed him, but it seemed it hadn’t. Namjoon just needed a little bit of help finding his inner Namjoon.

“You okay Namjoon?” He knew of the newly presented omegas destruction spree, and somewhere between alpha instinct and eomma instincts that were all his own, he couldn’t stop to worry.

Luckily the omega was quick at answering “yeah I am okay, but I might have… uhm… I need to order a new chair.” the omega sounded so embarrassed, but Yukwon just laughed.

“Wanna let me in, or are we playing tangled? Are you gonna let down my hair and let me crawl in?”

Even tho Yukwon couldn’t see Namjoon, he knew that younger was pouting, it was thing he often did, sticking that full lower lip out, dimples on show, actually thinking about it, maybe they should have expected him to be an omega. He did seem to have a way of making people do what he wanted, all he needed to do was flash his dimples.

“If we were playing Tangled, I would hit you with a frying pan and then bind you to the chair with my hair.”

“Now that is a kink I have no consented to, I would take it up with Minhyuk, he is a freak, he would probably be into frying pans.”

Namjoon tore the door open, a red mark clear on his forehead where it seemed that he had said hello to the floor, and correctly pout was on his face “Shut up! That was not what I meant!”

The older alpha just grinned at him “Nice to see you Namjoon, you are gonna get sick with all the windows opening, it’s snowing.” he decided not to comment on how the omega was wearing a hoodie with Kyung on Jiho’s scent all over it.

Yukwon knew that the beta’s had sent the hoodie to Namjoon, there had been a long discussion about how they would do it, their first try was with all of their scents on it, for Namjoon to get more used to it, but all their scent just became a weird not that well smelling mess.

Then they tried with just a few of the members, and settled on Kyung and Jiho, at first Yukwon had been against it, he felt that it was manipulative to use the scent of the two idols that Namjoon had known the longest.

He didn’t want it to see that they were going ‘see you have known these two people the longest, so pick us,’ but in the end, he had to admit that the idea was actually the best when not done like that.

Jaehyo was the one who explained it the best, as Block B’s only omega, he had hit the alpha with a pillow, before tearing him a new asshole, explaining how Namjoon had just presented, he was spending time in a place alone, and there was no damn handguide to this, how multiple groups were courting him, how Namjoon had never thought it possible, so he probably felt a little lost and alone, so they were gonna give him a damn hoodie with scents that he was comfortable with and had been for years! And when Namjoon was here, Yukwon and Jiho was gonna put their damn protective streaks on the shell.

Namjoon was a grown adult, and everybody seemed to forget that he was able to make his own damn decisions, yes he would need positive reinforcement cause of underground rappers being shithead…. At which Jaehyo had pointed an accusing finger at Jiho, who at first had seemed insulted, then thought about and then seemed to agree with the omegas sentiment.

And Yukwon looking at Namjoon at that moment, could feel his inner protective personality and his inner alpha, wanting to protect and baby Namjoon, but this was different, they weren’t 18-year-old pups, who didn’t just need protection cause them being newly presented omega’s, but also cause they were just 18 and basically just children.

Namjoon was an adult, a leader, and yes he was now an omega, but Yukwon shouldn’t treat him differently than he did before Namjoon presented. The only people who should treat Namjoon different was BTS, but that was cause they didn’t even treat Namjoon as a human.

That didn’t mean that he was gonna force a hug on the younger, he did it before Namjoon had presented, to prove that he didn’t mind Namjoon’s bad scent, but now he wanted to give Namjoon to chance to accept the hug, he opened his arms raising an eyebrow with a wide smile “Do I get a hug? Mr. Fryingpan?”

Namjoon pouted more, but he was quick to actually step closer and hug the shorter alpha close, while other alphas might feel weird with Namjoon being much taller than him, but to be honest… Block B’s resident omega was even taller, so he was kinda used to it.

It was the first time Yukwon actually got to smell Namjoon’s omega scent, and it took him a few seconds to recognize it, all of Block B had unique scents, but none of them really had a combination scent like Namjoon’s, but it fits him, which he let the younger know.

Namjoon’s tanned complication was fitted with a blush at the compliment “Thank you, I am still getting used to it, I like it tho.”

He grabbed his back from right next to the door, trying to sling it over his shoulder to carry, but Yukwon stopped him “let me carry it.” his voice was soft, but firm, it wasn’t a question.

For a second they just stared at each other, Namjoon could almost hear both Daesung and Taehyun’s voice inside his mind, ‘do not let alphas walk all over you, just cause you aren’t an omega. You don’t have to change who you are.’

So Namjoon did something, he hadn’t done in a while, before the hospital he would never let people carry his stuff, he didn’t need to. He was a capable adult, he kept his grip on the bag “I am an omega, not a child, I can carry my bag, I don’t need you to baby me.”

But Yukwon didn’t let go, but his facial expression softened “Namjoon no… This is not about you being an omega. Jaehyo would kick my ass if it was, and I don’t think I would win that fight, but it is a little over a month since you got out of the hospital. Your doctor said that you shouldn’t carry heavy things and that you should watch over yourself and not overwork yourself.”

“How do you…” he interrupted himself “Jackson?”

Yukwon smiled and as Namjoon let go of the back, swung it on to his shoulder with a smile “most of the people, have tried to be sneaky about it, not to make you feel uncomfortable, but we have found that hiding things, and trying to be sneaky to make people feel better, just leads to hurt feelings.” he grinned at the omega “but when you are 100 procent healthy again, feel free to give me a piggyback ride, god knows I could use it away from dance practice at time, and Jaehyo only carried Taeil, because he is ‘cute,’ but I am cute enough for you right.”

The attempt for very bad aegyo was enough to take any negativity out of the air and Namjoon himself giggled “the cutest!”

Yukwon grinned at him, hiking up the bag on his shoulder “ready to go?”

Namjoon just nodded, grabbing his second, much lighter, backpack “yeah, as ready as I ever will be.”

The alpha just smiled at him, reaching his hand out for Namjoon to take, cause he liked holding hands with people, and maybe the omega would like it as well “don’t worry, it’s not much difference between you staying with us like this, and staying with us normally.”

Namjoon was quick to take the hand and intertwine their fingers, he wasn’t sure if it was being touch starved, or him just liking physical contact “I haven’t stayed with you guys for a long term since I was a trainee.”

“Awww I remember that time, Jiho and Kyung had somehow managed to hide you from us while we were still trainees, but after we debuted and we all lived together 100 percent of the time they couldn’t do it anymore, you were still 17 back then right?”

Namjoon nodded, letting the pack alpha guide him towards the car by the hand “yeah, it was still so confusing to me, I was so used to the underground rapper scene at that time, I didn’t know what to expect out of idols.”

“Didn’t Jaehyo say you were gonna be his new friend, even if you were just 17?” for a second Yukwon thought about opening the door for Namjoon, but he decided that while it was just to be nice, he didn’t want to insult Namjoon or anything like that.

Namjoon instead found his own way into the car “yeah he did, I got so confused, I had heard about all of you of course, and Jiho was on the toilet so I was all alone, and suddenly I had this tall omega on my lap, squishing my cheeks and telling me that yes we indeed needed to have more tall people, cause you were all short.”

“It’s not our fault, that he was stupidly tall, and even back then you were tall, I know where you can get some insoles if you ever wanna look him in the eyes you know.” at that Yukwon finally felt the last tenseness release themselves from his shoulder.

Namjoon hadn’t changed.

Yes he needed a little help to get out of his shell and he still needed to accept some things, especially if what Yongguk and Jaebum had said was true, but they could help him with that… Jiho was right, this could work… This might very well work out.

As Yukwon started driving them back towards the Block B dorm, Namjoon just sat there staring at his hands, he had a question he wanted to ask, but he didn’t know if it was okay or if it was rude.

Again he thought back on Taehyun and Daesung, what those two omegas had said to him, what other omegas… Mark… BamBam… Junhung… Daehyun… It was only fair that he asked this question.

“Why… “ he stopped himself to rephrase it “I have wondered this since the hospital, why did you guys agree to court me? I understand Kyung and Jiho wanted to court me, but everybody else?”

This… This was what Namjoon had wondered for so long, he didn’t want to be that person that was pushed on Block B cause two of their members wanted him, it was okay for him to ask, this was about his life after all.

Yukwon, while he kept his eyes on the road like a responsible adult, he also let his hand glide down to Namjoon’s to give it a quick squish “It is only fair that we talk about this isn’t it, and maybe it is better we talk about it before we get home.”

He sighed a little, and Namjoon could see that he was thinking about how to say what he wanted to, in the right way, he then started slowly “let’s start with the selfish reasons shouldn’t we, I want to be transparent with you, 100 percent open and honest, as a pack we made the agreement, that we rather hurt somebody by being honest, than lie, no matter how little the lie was.  
We could use another omega, you know that I know that, that is a fact we can’t get out of. Yes a pack can, and our pack does, function very well with only one omega, Jaehyo does get his needs filled other places, now that Taehyun isn’t with WinKon anymore, they can start being friends again.”

Namjoon had never been good at just sitting there and having other people talk, “He didn’t talk with Taehyun while he was with his old pack?”

Yukwon looked… sad, there was no other way to say it “No, in the start he did, we are all friends with Winner, but Bobby and B.I… they… They see omega’s other way, and the bastard said something to Jaehyo that really had a big impact on him, we all… including Jaehyo decided that we shouldn’t say Jaehyo there alone to spend omega on omega time, he simply hurts people to much, I don’t want that and Jaehyo himself agreed. It isn’t that we didn’t feel sorry for Taehyun, damn we still feel sorry for the members still in the pack, but we have to put Jaehyo mental health above it.”

“That makes me happy,” it might be weird, but Namjoon was happy that the Block B pack wanted to protect their own, but it was clear that it was a decision made by all of them, including Jaehyo himself, it wasn’t just… force the omega to do as we want to.

“I think we still wonder if it was the right thing to do, but it turned out well. I could smell Tae at your house, so I assumed you talked to him earlier?”

Namjoon just nodded “yeah, he came to talk to me, it was nice of him to even if doesn’t know me that well. He just isn’t the best with words is he?”

The older alpha laughed “no he has a bad habit of coming of as spoiled and a brat at times, even when he doesn't want to, and even tho he has gone through a lot of stuff, that is the reason he at times have a hard time making friends, and fans that aren’t inner circles get the wrong view of him, but he really does care about of a lot of things, he has a big heart.

But we seem to have gotten sidetracked a little haven’t we, I was trying to explain why we all agreed to court you, and it wasn’t just Kyung and Jiho who made the decision.

I know that you and me, plus you and some of the others, don’t know each other as well as you and Jiho, but we have known you longer than BTS has, out of all the idols, we know you best. We know who you were before you were falsely seen as a dud, we knew you before you presented, and you are very similar to us.

We aren’t a rookie group, trying to make our pack function, we are good solid stable packs that have been together for more years than most groups have even been together, and yes cause of what happened with BTS we have seen you less over the last year, but now. We all agreed that this just made sense you could fit with us, and we thought it was crazy not to give it a chance.

And then there is the fact that we think that the way we are building up, with sub-genders, we fit you very well, we think this could work.

But it isn’t just that we can fit with you, it goes both ways, you could add to our pack, as much as we can add to you, I know that it might seem like we haven't thought this through, that we might think this is just a charity case, but I promise you. Nothing in this pack happens, without us thinking it over and talking it over many times.

We are got7, while Jiho might have feelings for you, we don’t love you yet as a whole, but we could, and I think not exploring that option is a disservice to both of us.”

Namjoon couldn’t really do anything, other than stare at Yukwon when he finished his long talk, he wasn’t sure what he had expected, something less put together, something more in the line of, well why not?

The thing was that Yukwon was right, he had known them longer than he had known any other set of idols, longer than he had known anybody in the idol life. It was seeing how Jiho and Kyung didn’t suddenly become terrible people as the underground rappers always depicted them off that actually lead Namjoon to accept Bang PD-nim’s offer to sign with Big Hit Entertainment, to be part of an idol group yet to be built.

And none of the other members of Block B had ever treated him like he was less or anything like that for being young, and later for being a dud, yes they weren’t close friends like Got7, but he couldn’t hold everybody to the standards of what he had with Got7, that wasn’t fair for himself or anybody else.

A slow smile slowly started to show on Namjoon’s face, “thank you, you… you guys thought this over, I am not just a second thought of why not. That… that means a lot to me.”

“Well you say that now, but I should warn you, both Jiho and Kyung are gone for the next week.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So why is this a Namjoon chapter? Great question, the truth... I have been stuck on the Taehyung chapter.
> 
> For some news about me:  
> The reason this chapter is late is that I have had an issue with a stalker and ended up having to go home to my grandparents during Easter and I first got home today.
> 
> In other news!
> 
> On my twitter I have been having the last week a series of tweets that explain why I picked each friend group for each BTS members, personally, I found it interesting, it includes why I picked Big Bang for Namjoon.
> 
> Also, I beg you all, please... Stop saying BTS is endgame like it is something that is already decided, while yes I know who Namjoon ends up with, and maybe it is BTS.  
> BUUUUUT! This story was never written with the explicit idea that 'BTS is always endgame', Namjoon ends up with the one pack that fits him the best, the one pack when everything hits the fan, that is the pack that he calls for help.


	75. Keeping up with Taehyung part 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAEHYUNG CHAPTER

Taehyung got shaken out of his thought of back when he had first kissed… and more… Wonwoo, but the alpha placing a warm hand on Taehyung’s knee and petting it “you should eat while it’s still warm, it tastes good I promise.”

The beta couldn’t stop himself from blushing, the thought of what had happened that day that he had found Wonwoo in rut was less than pg, and with him still having Chan half sleeping on him he felt mildly ashamed.

Taehyung never did find out why his own pack only wanted Jimin during their ruts, and to be honest he wasn't sure that if he really wanted to know. He still felt guilty for not being an omega, it was after all his fault that Jimin was going through this much stress.

He pointed at Chan not wanting to wake the younger up, he looked really cute while sleeping, sadly Wonwoo seemed to think less so as he smacked the younger on the ass none to gently “there is gonna be no Taehyung to hug if you starve him from his food,”

For a second it seemed like Chan just wanted to ignore everything, as he just whined out loud and bore his face more into Taehyung’s chest “Shut up,” it was mumbled and Taehyung could actually feel how Chan was drooling on him now.

In normal situations, it would be far from his favorite thing, but with Chan, it was just kinda cute, but Wonwoo again was less soft knowing Chan’s weak spots “I take that as a sign you don’t want to go out and look at dogs in the dog park with Junhui?”

That made the Seventeen Maknae sit up with a set, eyes comically large “dogs?”

“Yes… You know the plan you guys had before you decided that napping on top of our guest was the best life choice.” Wonwoo’s tone of delivery was cold, but there was a glint in his eyes that showed that he was really just kidding.

This caused Chan to do his best puppy eyes “you are mean!”

Wonwoo just shrugged, “prove it,”

Chan realized that he had lost the battle, he stuck his tongue out, before giving Taehyung one last hug, and then leaving to find Junhui and the promise of a dog park.

Normally Taehyung would have been up and about with the mere mention of dogs, but today, he was still feeling down and was happy with Wonwoo petting his calf while eating and his own bowl of steaming food waiting for him.

He should probably have sat up while eating, but he didn’t want to move his legs cause Wonwoo was warm and nice, so he kept laying down while eating, but he also knew that Wonwoo wasn’t just there to sit.

When both had finished their food, just sitting there staring a little at each other, before Wonwoo sighed an opened his arms “Come here silly, you know we have to talk.”

Taehyung was not gonna deny some close physical contact, Jihoon had said that it was because he was touched starved on the inside, that everytime he got his needs filled, he would go home and then get denied what he needed.

It wasn’t that BTS straight up ignored him, they were just all really busy people and Taehyung had a very big need for physical contact, earlier on before he presented himself, those needs got filled by Namjoon, but his scent later started to really be harsh on Taehyung, or by Jimin and Jungkook.

Those two cases were very different tho, Taehyung still didn’t understand why Jungkook didn’t want to cuddle him anymore, Taehyung knew him! He could see in his eyes that the younger still wanted it, that he still wanted to closeness, but it was like he was denying himself it, which was crazy.

And then there were Jimin, Jimin openly wanted hugs and cuddles, but every time Taehyung tried for it somebody would always interrupt them, he didn’t think that the rest of BTS actually noticed that they did it, but they did without a doubt.

Hoseok didn’t really trust himself around anybody, he seemed to think that he would start hurting people are something like that, Yoongi was… special… It had without a doubt gotten worse over time, he more and more closed in on himself.

While Taehyung could see that what Yoongi did wasn’t right, it was hard to do something about it, he hadn’t always been like that, he had slowly changed and none of them seemed to have noticed. Kinda like when you are with a person every day, and you don’t notice how they grow, cause it’s just a little by little.

That was how BTS was, it didn’t start with being this bad, but even if it was… Taehyung loved his pack, he loved them all so much, and nothing could ever change that.

But that didn’t stop him from crawling into the alphas arms and hug him close, it was like the itch disappeared, an itch that had set in when Chan had left, he just needed a hug and people close to him.

“I know what you are gonna say, you don’t have to,” Taehyung mumbled it into the younger shoulder, while yes Wonwoo was younger than Taehyung, he still at time felt like Wonwoo was his protector, it felt like that with a lot of Seventeen, they were his safe haven that had always accepted him no matter what happened.

“But I am going to do it anyway, you need to tell them what happened to you. I know you say you don’t wanna course a problem, that is why I am asking nicely, even if you don’t wanna tell them about your past. Tell them that you need more from them, they are your pack, they love you,” it was hard to say that for Wonwoo, but they had all decided that the best for Taehyung was that he became happy with BTS, and if they all really loved him, they would give him up.

The argument they had had about it was… explosive, some of the members had tried to argue that it was just like with Taehyun, they didn’t return Taehyun to his pack without a fight and in the end, it had worked out.

But Jihoon always the smart pack alpha had pointed out that Taehyun and Taehyung were very different people, Taehyun stayed with WinKon, not out of love… but out of fear. While Taehyun still loved some of his packmates, he didn’t love his pack… There is a difference, Taehyung on the other hand… Was very different.

Even if they could split him from BTS, it would course immense mental damage to him, at the loss of his entire family pack, Taehyung had come to build his life around BTS. Taking them away from him was basically ripping his family from him a second time, and there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t do something drastic if it happened.

“Everybody has so much going on already, I don’t want to be a burden on them… I am just a beta, they need to solve other things first.” god the young alpha wanted to both scream and cry at the same time, there wasn’t such a thing as just a beta, beta meant too much for packs. Damn it one of the most functioning packs he knew, had almost exclusively beta’s.

“I don’t wanna argue with you, I just wanted to bring it up, whatever you decide to do, we will always be here to look out for you and, nothing is gonna stop us from being your friends.” he wanted to add ‘even if you are the best blind person I know, and somehow have missed how everybody here loves you’ but he didn’t.

“Thank you,” Taehyung half mumbled it into Wonwoo’s shoulder as he was hugging the alpha close to him, and the younger just settled for the conversation to be over and decided to enjoy a few moments with the shorter beta.

While he loved his pack, his group and everybody else, Wonwoo also knew that so many people knew that he wouldn’t get to keep Taehyung for himself for a very long while, and that turned out to quickly be true as the door opened to the living room opened himself, and an almost overwhelming scent of Twix got thrown into the room “TAE!”

Hansol threw himself on top of both person on the couch, ending up with them awkwardly falling to the floor instead with Hansol on top of him, but neither Taehyung nor Wonwoo had it in them to be angry with omega, it was easily clear to both of them that Hansol was already in preheat and the normally shy omega always got overeager around this time “I know you couldn’t stay away during my heat!”

He placed a big wet kiss on Taehyung’s cheek, leaving the beta giggling “You would think that all the people you already have would be enough for you,” he couldn’t stop himself from teasing Hansol.

Even tho Wonwoo was getting half crushed under the two others, he couldn’t stop smiling, Taehyung had been so almost lifeless when he came to them a few hours earlier, seeing him smile and tease Hansol now, it was making Wonwoo feel warm inside.

Hansol found it less funny, as the omega pouted “you er being rude,” he poked Taehyung on the cheek “there is never enough people, are you saying you don’t like spending my heat with me.” Taehyung was almost impressed that that omega could actually pout as much as he did, his lower lip was almost wobbling. The worst part was that he knew Hansol wasn’t actually about the cry, but Taehyung was so weak for the younger.

He couldn’t stop himself from hugging the younger, ignoring Wonwoo’s whine as they half crushed him “you know that wasn’t what I meant!”

That coursed Hansol to break his pouting, giving Taehyung a smile that almost rivaled his own box smile “I take that as you wanna stay with me during the heat! Thank you!”

And with that he was up and gone, probably to find more people to guilt into being there during his heat, and to gather more pillows and blankets. Omega’s didn’t really nest, it was a trait that had long since been lost to humans. While they still called bedroom their nest, omega’s didn’t feel the need to nest anymore, it was no longer needed for human survival so it was gone with evolution.

Hansol tho… didn’t give 2 flying fucks, he had before told Taehyung that he liked the idea of gathering pillows and blanket from the entire dorm and making the nest extra comfortable. It wasn’t a need that he had, but something he liked to do, like when you liked cracking your fingers, it wasn’t a need, but you liked it.

Even if Jihoon had teased Hansol with the fact that the reason he actually did it, was cause it meant that his scent would be all over the dorm when they put the pillows back. Lowkey Taehyung agreed with the short pack alpha, but he also didn’t voice that opinion cause he actually liked smelling Hansol’s scent all over it after a heat, after it, the omega would be shy about it, but Taehyung loved it.

Jimin’s scent was normally only in the nest, and it would be aired out after, so Taehyung never got to really enjoy the scent of omega in heat at home, but this was the second best. No that wasn’t fair, it wasn't a competition, and Seventeen wasn’t just a replacement for BTS when they didn’t have time for him.

They were his friends, and Taehyung went to them with issues, just like they trusted him with their problems. It was equal respect on both sides, and Hansol wasn’t the second best, that was doing the young omega dirty, he had equal worth to Jimin, just in another way.

“Isn’t it a little early for him to have his heat?” Taehyung could remember everybody’s heat and rut days by memory at this point, and he was sure that Hansol shouldn’t first start it in 3 weeks, and while he didn’t wanna show the omega that he was worried about it, he had no problem showing Wonwoo… who he was still sitting on… ups.

Taehyung moved a little, so instead of sitting half on his chest, he was no placed on the youngers solid thighs instead, letting Wonwoo sit up, “It is, but it is to be expected, his heat was the closest one, the doctor said it was cause Taehyun got the bite, his inner omega is trying to shake us all together. We should be happy, it was a toss-up between him and Seokmin rut coming early, and you know how grumpy he gets during his ruts.”

The beta couldn’t stop himself from laughing a little, Seokmin hated his rut, no that wasn’t right, he didn’t actually hate his rut, it was more than it was so different from how he normally was. Seokmin liked to always say that people should take care of him, and no matter how much he said it was just a joke. Everybody knew that he actually liked to be babied, but since he was a normal alpha and not a soft alpha, his rut was about him taking care of other people, and he didn’t always enjoy that.

The rest of the big Seventeen pack, and whoever was spending the time with them, was stuck in the awkward situation of trying to cater to his needs at the moment. Mingyu had teasingly referred to Seokmin as a princess in bed, which had lead to instead of Seokmin actually being insulted demanding that Mingyu actually called him princess, which was kinda sweet.

Seokmins ruts were very sexual, at the same level of Jungkooks, but instead of it comes naturally to him, it was a fight between his alpha instinct and his personality, which ended up with a grumpy Seokmin, who after a rut required attention, which everybody was willing to give him, which everybody was more than willing to do. Everybody preferred their Seokmin as the laughing mood bomb cracking jokes.

“I am glad that everything worked out,” and for the first time since he entered the room, he showed a genuine box smile to Wonwoo, “I know that you all were worried about it, and I am so happy for all of you. You can finally do Taehyun justice for what he deserves.”

Wonwoo wanted to say that they could do Taehyung justice as well,  treat him like he deserved, but he was not gonna do that. He was gonna be nice and just smile “yeah we are lucky that his inner omega trusts us after all that he has been through. It could have shut itself out and ignored everybody else, but it opened us to us and accepted us even when you didn’t have to.”

“But you guys loved him, of course, it was going to accept you!”

Oh the irony of Taehyung’s statement was not lost on Wonwoo, “sometimes love isn’t enough, Taehyun was abused, yes none of the bastards ever put a hand on him, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was abused. The way they treated him like he wasn’t worth anything cause of his sub gender, that is abuse as well.” god he hoped that Taehyung would catch on, that he wasn’t so deep into BTS’s shit that he couldn’t see what Wonwoo was saying between the lines.

But no… Taehyung stayed oblivious “yeah, Bobby abused his powers as a pack alpha, but it’s okay now, you guys got him out of there because you loved him” the worst part was that Taehyung wasn’t an Oblivious person sometimes.

There were people who were so a loaf of everything that they would never really notice anything going on around them, but Taehyung wasn’t like that. He had talked with them about the mistreatment of Namjoon, how he was worried about Jimin and Jungkook, he had seen uses with Taehyun and tried to help.

Taehyung was good with people, and he had such a big heart, he wanted to help everybody, the problem was that he was blind when it came to BTS, he was blind when it came to himself. This was the side effect of losing his family so early, Wonwoo was in no doubt that Taehyung’s family had loved him, Taehyung loved to tell stories about them. Since Seventeen were the only people who knew the full story of Taehyung’s family, they were also the only one that he could tell stories about them to.

With the negative effect that Taehyung’s family had had on him, most people would assume they it was because of abuse or something like that, but in reality, it was one accidentally bad comment and a poisoned well.

Taehyung had so many happy stories about his family, he loved them so much, it wasn’t even that Taehyung disliked beta’s or looked down on betas. Wonwoo had heard many talks about how Taehyung loves Seokjin, how he loved everything about his broad-shouldered hyung with the bad dad jokes, and he loved all of Seventeen’s betas!

It was just himself he looked down on, it was only his own pack that he was blind about, that he refused to see fault with. Wonwoo had hated when Hoshi had said none too serious that Taehyung was Oblivious to the world. Cause Taehyung wasn’t Oblivious, he was just too in love with people who didn’t deserve him and blinded by self-hate.

Wonwoo couldn’t stop himself from hugging Taehyung a little bit closer to him, to show the feelings he couldn’t speak, “love doesn’t always win, this is real life, not some fairytale.”

But Taehyung just smiled and pecked his nose “silly alpha, love always wins in the end.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 4 things that will be covered in Taehyung's part;
> 
> Vernon's heat, Taehyung and Jungkook playing overwatch, Taehyung's fight with Jeonghan, and Taehyung slowly healing a little and learning that he can love BTS, but still demand things from them.
> 
>  
> 
> Also important... Hansol or Vernon? I see both used all the time


	76. Keeping up with Taehyung [part 3]

Hansol’s preheat was so close to breaking, they could all feel it, this made the mood high and they were all happy and laughing. This was far from the first time that Taehyung had spent a rut or heat with Seventeen, but every time it was a new experience. **  
**

He might be bias, but without a doubt his heat with Jeonghan had been the most special to him, there had been a performance that they simply could not skip, and by that the company had let Jisoo stay home with Jeonghan, only after protest at the omega who was under the idea that not only did nobody need to stay home with him, but if he really could go as well.

This, of course, was not an option at all, omegas in heat scent were strong and potent, in the end, it was decided that Jisoo should stay, and as soon as everybody else had left, Jisoo called Taehyung and asked him to come over.

Jeonghan’s heats were in general short, the omega was happy with that tho, blaming it on the fact that his body understood him, and heats were really just a waste of time, it’s not like anybody could make him pregnant anyway!

Jisoo and Taehyung had spent the next 18 hours until the heat broke attempting to make it the most memorable heat the younger had ever had, at first Taehyung had been worried, worried that two betas weren’t enough, that they wouldn’t be able to fill the long-haired omegas needs.

But everything had ended up well, Jeonghan had never made any of them feel like they weren’t enough, and it had been the first time where Taehyung didn’t feel like everything would have been better if he was an omega.

Hansol’s heat were very different tho, where Jeonghan prefered a few people at most, Hansol prefered ALL the people, and it wasn’t cause he was greedy, he didn’t even need all the focus on him, he was fun with people either just being in the room, or fooling around with other people, he just really liked everybody’s scent in one room mixing with each other.

Hansol was currently sitting on the countertop swinging his legs back and forward, with Seungkwan between his legs. The omega was very sensitive to scents, and he had a weak spot the size of China for Hansol.

Taehyung liked to tease the two a little that it was destiny that they would end up in the same pack, with matching chocolate bar scents, Hansol’s Twix and Seungkwan's Mars bar, two pots in a pea. That teasing was what had ended Taehyung in an omega chocolate bar sandwich, with it being turned into him being teased for how peanuts fit well with chocolate, yeah it had been a good day.

Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from walking over to Seungkwan and petting the omega’s hair while the younger were busy nuzzling Hansol’s scent gland, this close it was clear to Taehyung that while heat might not have hit the preheated omega yet, that didn’t mean that his preheat scent didn’t turn on the other omega.

He was clearly trying to keep it in check, not wanting to let go of his desire before Hansol was ready, it was cute, they were cute. Taehyung just smiled, gave him another pet, he was happy just standing there petting Seungkwan's soft light brown hair while he watched other members make and prepare food, taking turns feeding Hansol small pieces of food.

When the heat finally set in, everybody was herded to the main nest that had been prepared for said heat, Hansol himself was eagerly half bouncing on the bed while sitting there, Jihoon the always responsible pack alpha tried to lead with “hansol, are you sure you shouldn’t take it…” slow was probably the word he was trying to end the sentence with, but the omega didn’t seem to want to have it as he grabbed the front of the vocal leaders soft hoodie, it was the blue oversized shirt, it was the one with the line ‘Real alpha’ in front of it.

While Jihoon might be the alpha of the pack, but Hansol still had the height on his size plus Jihoon wasn’t expected to suddenly be pulled and with the omega having the momentum, he not only managed to pull Jihoon down to the bed, he also managed to swing his leg over his hips so he was now straddling the pack alpha who was laying on his bad, eyes big looking surprised up at Hansol with his soft pink hair faning out of the comforter under him.

Hansol booped him on the nose with a finger “boop,” again he didn’t give the other a chance to answer before he put their lips together and took his lips in a deep kiss. For a second everybody was just staring at the two making out on the bed, Jihoon’s arms no longer hanging lax down his sides, instead one finding their way into Hansol’s hair to tilt it the way he wanted it, and the other on the others soft but shapely ass.

But that also seemed to be the sign for everybody to move around and figure out how to place themselves, the scent of full-on heat was slowly starting to get to everybody. While it didn’t touch beta’s as much as the other sub-genders, Taehyung could still feel the arousal build up inside him, for a second he just looked around to see how everything was shaping out, as pretty much expected Seungkwan was almost glued to Hansol’s side and both Seokmin and Wonwoo had joined them, the two alphas crowding in on them.

As more or less expected Jeonghan had pushed the much taller Seungcheol up against the wall, and Wonwoo seemed very interested in how the long-haired omega was manhandling their leader, and Taehyung couldn’t stop grinning at it, Jeonghan did have a way of getting things he wanted, and Seungcheol seemed to be that thing at that moment.

Taehyung felt a pair of arms being wrapped around his waist and a soft voice spoke into his ear “that leaves you with just us, if that is okay?” he didn’t need to turn around, to know who it was, the scent of Kiwi and Mango mixing perfectly and Jisoo’s voice was special enough that Taehyung was not gonna confuse it with anybody else.

“Of course that is okay,” Taehyung had turned around in Jisoo’s arms to put his arms around his fellow beta’s shoulders, “if you guys are okay with me joining you.”

Taehyun who was stepping up behind Jisoo at that moment “we are more than happy for that, we were worried that we had lost you to Jeonghan’s siren act.”

A shirt suddenly flew across the room, hitting Taehyun with disturbingly good aim right in the face, forcing everybody for a second to look at Jeonghan who was shirtless, looking like the picture of innocent, with a smile on his lips he ran his finger over his throat in a threatening moment at Taehyun, before then winking, turning his attention back to Seungcheol, who seemed somehow even more turned on after watching the omega threaten to murder somebody.

And at that everybody turned their attention back to whoever they were with, that was normal, an orgy of 11 people was hard, but it wasn’t just splitting up into different groups, while yes they were split up, they still paid attention to each other between the groups.

Taehyung laughed a little, reaching up to remove the shirt from the pouting omega’s face “you did ask for that,”

More pouting “did not,”

Jisoo joined into the giggling, leaning his head back on Taehyun shoulder to look up at the pouting omega “do to.”

For a second it looked like Taehyun would keep on with the childish argument, but he just pouted “if I go missing, tell the police to question Hannie first.”

That made Taehyung giggle even more “because they are totally gonna believe that he killed you.”

Taehyun pouted, but he seemed to not wanna argue more, and he borrowed a page out of Hansol’s book of omega methods to shut people up, leaning over Jisoo’s shoulder and pressed his lips to Taehyung’s in a firm kiss, that quickly turned from kiss into who could press their tongue more into the others mouth.

Yeah, it really wasn’t the most elegant nor best kiss Taehyung had ever gotten, but it worked in getting him worked up, not that it was hard when he could hear Jihoon moaning from behind him and other noises that weren’t pg 17.

When they finally broke the kiss, both were breathing heavily and staring at each other, string of saliva still connecting their mouths.

But somehow it didn’t seem to be Taehyung and Taehyun who were worked up the most, it was actually Jisoo between them, the beta was staring from one to the other with eyes big and on speel “okay, I know what should happen now, you two, do your thing. God, I wanna watch that.”

Taehyung wanted to laugh at that, at how out of breath Jisoo sounded, and how he could feel the beta’s erection against his thigh, but he didn’t do anything of that, he just started from the beta to the omega and then nodded, god he wanted that as well. He had to admit that he really liked Taehyun as well.

He had come to just accept him as part of Seventeen, and while he didn’t really know anybody else from WinKon other than Bobby who should just go and get fucked by a cactus, not just cause how he treated Taehyun, but also how he called out people including Namjoon for being a dud rapper. Fucking cunt, thinking only alphas should be rappers.

No Taehyung couldn’t think of Namjoon right at that moment, he knew he had to deal with it, but it still hurt so much thinking of the new omega.

He focused on Taehyun, focused on his blown out pupils on how the omega was looking from Taehyung's eyes to his lips back to his eyes like he couldn’t focus on anything other than wanting to kiss the other Tae… Which god know Taehyung was fine with. God, he was so fine with that.

But Jisoo didn’t seem to be happy with how their position was “bed… move now, we have a giant bed that 15 people can be in, and somehow over half of us is standing up on the very limited space there are on the floor.

Taehyung took a few seconds to look away from Taehyun to instead look around him, all around them it seemed that the omegas had decided it was their evening for control.

Jeonghan had managed to discard all of his cloth, leaning back against the wall, on hand in Seungcheol’s hair, the beta happy and eagerly sucking him off, other had in Wonwoo’s hair, with the alpha sucking mark on his pale skin, but even tho Jeonghan was the one getting acted upon, there was no doubt in the world that it was actually the omega who was in control of what was happening around him.

On the bed Jihoon was still being stadled by Hansol, but somehow the omega had gotten both of them naked, and the pack alphas hands were being held above his head by Seungkwan while Hansol was riding him slow and teasingly, right next to them with Seokmin in his lap was Mingyu lazily jerking of his fellow alpha while he himself seemed comfortable still in jeans just staring at the magic around him.

Taehyung didn’t get longer to take in what was happening, as him and Taehyun got hear towards the bed and non to politely pushed onto it, by the normally gentlemanlike beta, but it seemed that all his polite behavior was gone when most of his blood was in his dick instead of his head, not that Taehyung could blame him, it was kinda hot seeing Jisoo stare at him like he wanted to eat him.

He didn’t get long time to think about, Taehyun was quick at demanding his attention back, and that ended with him having the eager omega pushing him down into the bed kissing him deeply.

As the kiss finally broke, they both looked over at Jisoo, Jisoo had somehow managed to magic away his cloth, or maybe he hadn’t and they had been very busy with each other, but Taehyung liked the idea that Jisoo had imagined his cloth away better “what now?” his naturally deep voice was somehow even deeper at that point with how turned on he was.

Taehyun on his part pushed a piece of hair out of Taehyung’s, it was one of the few times that Taehyung was having his natural hair color instead of whatever dye their current comeback required, the older Tae smiled “Jisoo calls the shots.”

Now that was something Taehyung could work with, how was feeling a little overwhelmed with all the sounds and noises all around him, and he looked expecting over to his fellow beta, Jisoo was resting against the wall lazily jerking himself into full hardness “Taehyun undress him.” a bottle of lube was standing next to Jisoo which was a clear indicator of what was going to happen.

Taehyun on his part seemed as eager as Taehyung to follow Jisoo’s words, while Taehyun was the one who had been told to undress the younger, they more or less ended up undressing each other.

Jisoo at first was going to complain that it wasn’t what he had said, but he really couldn’t get himself to do anything other than appreciate how Taehyung’s tanned skin looked pretty against Taehyun’s. The two Tae’s matched each other so well, while Jisoo was one of the person’s who was best at accepting that Taehyung was never gonna be theirs, it still heard a little in a moment like that.

While he loved Taehyung enough to give him up and do what was best for him, didn’t mean that his heart had to be in it 100 percent, but he quickly pushed that out of his head, this wasn’t the moment to wonder about things like that, this was about making Hansol’s heat the best for everybody involved, the in heat omega always felt best when everybody around him was feeling good as well.

He threw the lube at Taehyun, the omega being quick at catching it “you know what to do,” he almost lit up at that idea, normally it would make more sense for Taehyung to fuck Taehyun, since the older was an omega, but Jisoo knew Taehyung, his fellow beta was more in the mood of being taken care of, even if he wouldn’t admit it, and while Jisoo himself was normally more than ready to fill that need, he also knew that it had been a while since the two Tae’s had seen and spent time with each other.

That and maybe Jisoo just really liked to watch, but could you really judge him?

Taehyun grinned eagerly at him, before turning his attention to the younger still caught under him “this is fine with you?” verbal consent was important.

The beta was quick at eagerly nodding “yes please!”

Spreading some of the lube a little to slobbery on his fingers, he teasingly nipped the younger at the neck making sure to avoid his pack bite, instead focusing on around his scent gland.

While Taehyung said he had happy memories attached to his pack bite… Taehyun didn’t actually trust that. It wasn’t that he thought Taehyung would lie, it was more that he didn’t trust Taehyung’s view of a good memory, so he stuck with teasing the youngers scent gland while slowly opening him up and stretching him out.

Taehyun had to admit that he loved the younger when he bottomed, while he was also gorgeous when he topped, the small sounds and noises he made when being stretched at first were amazing. Taehyung already had a unique voice, but the way he was making breathy whines and moans in that deep voice was just doing it for the omega.

Seventeen didn’t care that much for sub-genders, they weren’t trying to get pregnant so it didn’t really matter who fucked who, the only body he didn’t really fuck anybody was Jeonghan, mostly because he didn’t find it interesting and he was lazy, everybody more or less just swapped around.

It was one of the reasons that Taehyun had had such an easy time to accept Seventeen after leaving WinKon, and the reason he knew that he would accept the bite very soon, back with WinKon everybody had been so stuck in their sub-genders. While it worked for some people, and some people were just naturally what their subgender said… it didn’t work like that for Taehyun.

Taehyun still felt sorry that he hadn’t managed to convince Chanwoo that he should leave as well, he knew that the way the other was treating the tall omega was slowly killing him, but nothing Taehyun had told him had worked. All he could hope was that Donghyuk would still do his best to shield Chanwoo from most of the pack alpha’s poisonous words.

It seemed that Taehyung didn’t have a lot of patients as he whined out “Tae, please! Stop with the teasing I am ready.”

Who was Taehyun to say no to those pretty words, taking a quick look to get Jisoo’s opinion all he got was a nod in return?

Taehyun had to admit that the way the other betas eyes were dark and hungry looking over them was turning him on as well, he still didn’t get how Jisoo many times prefered looking instead of taking part, but he wasn’t gonna deny that it was still kinda hard being guided around by soft words with dark hungry eyes looking at them.

“Go ahead,” Jisoo’s words were all Taehyun needed to finally help the youngers legs around his hips, and press a kiss to his lips at the same times as he pushed into him. For just a second all Taehyun could focus on was the pretty beta under him, just for a moment he couldn’t hear anybody else moans, he couldn’t hear anybody else activities.

All he could focus on was the strong scent of peanuts and Taehyung’s pretty features. Deep eyes looking at him trusting, trusting that Taehyun knew and would make him feel good, oh good Taehyun gave his trust way to easy to people.

Taehyun was brought back to what was happening around him when Taehyung had reached up to cup his face “breath.”

Taehyung knew that Taehyun still wasn’t used to topping, back with WinKon they never let him since he was an omega, at he still easily got overwhelmed at the feeling. Jisoo seemed to notice it as well, but he stayed in his spot looking over it, he trusted Taehyung to handle it.

This was the reason that Taehyung was a beta, he could always manage to pull people out off their own head, he was a balance point like all beta’s he took the edge of people and made people feel comfortable like only a beta could, and even if he was ‘4d’ as the fans said, he could still be a good leader and comfortable person when he was needed to.

Oh god, he wished that Taehyung could see it.

Taehyung himself felt a little overwhelmed as well, the thought of Jimin and even Namjoon was still strong in his mind, but he could still focus on Taehyun, giving the older a soft smile when he kinda zoned back in “your pace.”

That was all he needed to say, Taehyun nodding a little, feeling a little ashamed that he still easily got overwhelmed, he leaned in to kiss him, picking up speed with his hips.

While all of this had started hot and heavy, that was not how it ended, it ended soft and sweet. Both Tae’s were aware of what was going on around them, everybody else seemed to have finished their first round and the first wave for Hansol seemed done as the omega was sleepily cuddled up between the two oldest.

But it was okay, Jisoo was getting some nice help from Seokmin who were lazily jerking him off while they watched soft lovemaking between the two Tae’s.

Taehyun knew that Taehyung was close when the small noises he made started to almost being choked out of him, all he needed to do was wrap his hand around Taehyung and slowly jerk him off the best he could to match his trust at the same time as he sucked a clear hickey right under Taehyung’s jawline on the opposite side of his pack bite.

That was enough, Taehyung choked out Taehyun’s name, nails biting in non to gently into his shoulders as he came all over his own stomach and the omega’s hand, and only a few thrusts later did Taehyun himself come, emptying himself inside the younger.

He couldn’t hold himself up after that and he collapsed on top of Taehyung, luckily Taehyung didn’t seem to mind too much as he giggled and hugged the older close not seeming to mind the mess as he comfortably just pancaked on the bed.

A very tired Hansol came half crawling over to them to cuddle up next to Taehyung, wanting to be close to the omega and beta, yawning a little “nap now, more sex later, cuddle now.” Hansol did have a special way with words, and neither Taehyun nor Taehyung could deny the omega anything.

They looked over quickly on Jisoo to make sure that the beta was okay, but he was more than taking care off lazily and sleepily making out with Seokmin.

Taehyun tried to keep his eyes open a little more, kissing both Hansol and Taehyung sleepily, “mmmh,”

When Taehyun woke he wasn’t sure how much later with was, some members were awake, but what really had him confused was that Taehyung was gone, he was nowhere in the nest “where is Tae?” he mumbled at Seungcheol who were answering work emails.

The beta nodded towards the bathroom “probably wanted to clean himself,”

With that Taehyun went to track down Taehyung, he wasn’t in the bathroom closest to the nest which made the omega worried a bit when he reached the bathroom farthest away from the nest he found Taehyung in a position he had never wanted to.

Crying, forcing hands over his mouth to make the sounds as mute as possible.

“Tae what is wrong?” Taehyun was fast to almost thrown himself down next to the beta, not caring that he was naked “baby please don’t cry talk to me, we can figure it out together.”

He looked at Taehyun with big wavering eyes “I miss Joonie and Minnie so much… It’s all my fault”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the Namjoon chapter is almost done, and will be put out on Friday, I only have 1 more Taehyung chapter after this, but it is gonna to be a longer one!
> 
> As always I have been doing teasers on my twitter, and there I also did a vote if I should publish the Namjoon or Taehyung chapter first!
> 
> Thanks everybody for reading! <3


	77. What’s up what’s up, I want to kiss you, I love yo!!! Look at me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one week1 I hope you guys enjoyed this!

Namjoon had at first been a little worried when Yukwon had said that Jiho and Kyung would be gone the first week that he was spending with them, but when he actually thought about it… he was actually happy.

Everybody had said so many times that he couldn’t just depend on those two, that even if he knew them best, he really needed to spend time and get to know everybody else, the thing was… That Namjoon was an introvert, and while he was good at being an outwards person when he put on his leader mask, he wasn’t as good as it when it came to his normal life.

But damn it! Namjoon was gonna do this!

And it wasn’t like he had never spent time with the rest of Block B, he knew them pretty well! It was just that the two betas had always been there as a buffer, but it was gonna be okay. That just left one question.

He looked at Yukwon for a moment, the alpha was having his eyes nailed to the road, the lived in the other side of Seoul so there was still a little while until they got there, this left Namjoon with a little time alone with the pack alpha.

“Come out with it, I can almost feel something eating at you.”

“Everybody else has said that you guys have all agreed to be open and honest with me about everything else, do you guys have this big secret that you keep as well?” it wasn’t that Namjoon had something against it, god he couldn’t judge, he was from BTS, but he prefered news like this upfront.

Yukwon’s lips flattened to a line and his brows furrowed almost confused “not everybody has this giant issue, not that I am shaming B.a.p or anybody else. Mark was in his right mind taking things slowly and not rushing who he should be a pack with, and it isn’t Jackson’s fault with his scent gland. And it isn’t Zelo’s fault with his bite.”

Namjoon still found it kinda cute hearing Yukwon calling Junhong his stage name, but then again, he guessed that the two idol groups probably didn’t know each other that well so it was to kinda be expected that they called each other by stage names instead of real names, but that lead to another question “how do you know about Junhong’s bite?”

For a second the pack alpha hesitated, but when he spoke up his voice was steady “one of the last days you were in the hospital… We all sat down and talked stuff over, all of us who wanted to court you, including both Jimin and Seokjin from your own group. We all wanted a clean start, and please don’t think we were trying to go behind your back. This wasn’t about us wanting to hide stuff from you, while yes we talked with each other about you, but it was also about us.” he sighed a little, it was clear that he hadn’t hoped to be the person to explain this, but that just made Namjoon feel better knowing that he still did it.

Namjoon did something he wouldn’t think he would have been able to do before he presented, he let his hand glide over and give Yukwon’s thigh a comforting squish, he didn’t wanna interrupt the other's speech now that he had started it, but he still wanted the alpha to know that he was appreciating it.

That coursed Yukwon to smile as he picked up his speech again “it was about knowing that everybody was gonna does you right, that we were going to accept whoever you picked and that we were going to respect each other as well. While most people are adults and not extremely young, we still found it important to put down ground rules, everybody would be honest with you, no mudslinging at each other, no talking shit about each other, and your recovery was more important than anything else.

That was what lead to some people admitting some things about themselves, that way all the cards were on the table and we could start it with clean sleight. Does this make any sense at all? Jiho is a lot better at these long speeches, I am just a dumb alpha brunt I let other people do the heavy lifting.”

“Don’t discredit yourself! You are a good alpha!” was Namjoon’s first response, but when he saw the olders grin on his face it was clear that Yukwon didn’t actually mean it, that he was just pulling Namjoon’s leg.

“Well it’s nice that you think I am a good alpha, that makes me feel better, but I do still stand by my point, I don’t know how some alpha’s manage to be both pack alphas and leaders of their groups at the same time, I think I would have gone down with stress before I even managed to finish making a pack or debuted, but we managed to change topic again didn’t we? We aren’t good at staying on topic.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from laughing lightly “yeah, I guess we are. So does that mean that you guys are some kind of magic tv pack?”

Yukwon shook his head as he parked the car out front of the Block B dorm “of course we aren’t, everybody has minor issues. Jiho works too much, Taeil still doesn’t like his eyes, Minhyuk use literally all the warm water in the morning, Jaehyo hates that his scent is an aphrodisiac and very potent when combined with his scent and struggle to find omegas to get close to, Kyung dislikes his long face and he joins Jiho in just working way too much, Jihoon still has some issues with his weight, since he was forced to lose weight to become an idol… And then there is me, who is probably the biggest problem.”

Namjoon was confused, all the other problems were something that was minor things, it was minor insecurities that almost everybody had no matter who they were, and while of course they should be told that their insecurities weren’t real, they weren’t something mind breaking, but what Namjoon got really confused about was Yukwon, how could he be the biggest problem? “I don’t understand?” he felt so confused as he climbed out the car, finally getting to stretch his long legs.

Yukwon looked a little embarrassed, you will see when we get in, I don’t know if everybody is home yet or at practice, I managed to get some time off to pick you up, our management is pretty lax with us, we have proven that we are gonna get the work done when we work at our own speed and we don’t miss a deadline.” he grabbed Namjoon’s back to carry it again, reaching his hand out for Namjoon “let’s go inside?”

Namjoon technically didn’t need to have his hand held, but he was happy to have it done as he nodded “yeah, it’s still kinda cold outside, to be honest.”

“Well of course it is, that jacket might be fashionable, but it really isn’t warm.” Namjoon pouted at that, he happened to like his jacket, but the alpha was right, he was feeling cold and the jacket wasn’t really helping.

As Yukwon opened the door, they were greeted by the last thing that Namjoon had expected… a minor army of dogs was suddenly at his feet, and Namjoon himself couldn’t stop himself from crouch down and suddenly being pushed to the ground, by… 6 small dogs, oh my god there were so many dogs, licking Namjoon all over the face and neck.

“So I might be addicted to love dogs, I didn’t mean to adopt all of them! I like to spend time at the shelter and take care of dogs there, but then they had to get rid of some of the dogs cause they were overcrowded, and it was either getting rid of a few or shutting down, and I couldn’t let them do that, so I ended up adopting three to start with, and then the other slowly followed… and now I have 7 dogs, ups.”

He looked a little guilty, but he also looked happy as he picked up the smallest “but it’s okay right Ppo? Cause Daddy loves all of you, and you are the best dogs in the entire world right?” the dog eagerly licked the alpha’s face, and Namjoon had managed to sit up, small dogs still climbing all over him, trying their best to get his attention all of the same time.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling wide, and grinning at Yukwon for cooing over the dog, and Namjoon himself gathered an entire arm full of small dogs “How could this ever be a problem?” he let himself receive all the dog kisses possible, happy that he had decided not to wear makeup that day “dogs are amazing, best thing that ever happened to the world.”

Yukwon looked almost crazily happy “oh my god, you have to stay, we have to keep you, you get it!”

The omega felt a little confused as he hugged the dogs close, ignoring how the fur was staying on his jacket, making sure he didn’t hug to close to crush their small bodies “Does everybody, not like the dogs?” he was gonna have to reconsider his entire friendship with everybody in Block B if they weren’t dog people, it simply wasn’t acceptable.

Yukwon shook his head “they don’t dislike them or everything either, I would never have gotten them if they were against it, they are still my pack and everything, but they don’t always get my love for them. They try their best, and they all have their favorite and they help me take care of them.”

He shrugged lightly, sharing a smile with Namjoon “so this is our biggest problem, I love dogs way-way too much and I want all of them to have a good home… preferable to me.”

Namjoon felt a little overwhelmed with soft feelings for the older alpha, and as carefully as possibly he sat down all of the small dogs and then stood up, taking Ppo from Yukwon, setting it down and then hugging the alpha close “You are literally the cutest thing ever.”

Later he would look back at it, both embarrassed and a little proud of himself, as he pressed a kiss on the alpha’s soft lips. He made sure to give Yukwon enough time to stop the kiss if he wanted to, he wasn’t gonna kiss him if he didn’t want it, but he also smiled happily into the kiss.

‘Cherry’ was his first thought at the kiss, Yukwon’s lips tasted clear of cherry, probably the chapstick that the older had put on before leaving the dorm, as idols they learned clear beauty rituals, the importance of chapstick was one of them. The next thought he had was how he really liked kissing Yukwon, all of Block B, in general, had unique and special scents, the alpha being no different…. Cajuput was something that most people didn’t even know what was, and Namjoon was one of them. The scent was very camphoraceous and had an undertone of hyacinths.

While yes it was unique, but it was also a scent that Namjoon had never smelled anywhere else, as none of the fans meets or anything else. It was completely only Yukwon’s and Namjoon could appreciate that.

Okay maybe he was enjoying it a little too much, he would like to blame it on the post heat hormones, but he wasn’t sure that it was really it, or he was just really into kissing the alpha. He was letting his hand glide into the bleached locks, which were… yeah pretty dry if he had to be honest, but he didn’t really have time to focus on that as he felt Yukwon’s arm glide around his waist and pull him closer.

Things would probably have gone a little farther to a level that was not appropriate in front of an army of dogs if it hadn’t been for the door opening in the most shojo manga way, and somebody coughed in an obvious way to announce that they were there.

Both Namjoon and Yukwon turned towards the door, cheeks burning as the looked over the newly arrived member, Jihoon was standing in the door one dog on each arm “well this is certainly a welcome home,” laughter was clear in the tall maknae’s eyes.

Namjoon liked P.O, they were actually very alike on the outside, both tall rappers with more unique voices, but he couldn’t really focus on anything like that at the moment, the only thing he could really focus on was that thing on top of the younger head “that is… hair.”

It wasn’t Namjoon that spoke it but instead Yukwon who seemed equal… disturbed by the almost neon red for the youngest hair… Well youngest… he was older than Namjoon, even if he was the maknae.

Jihoon smiled brightly “do you like it? I thought since we were going to start a new chapter, it should be celebrated with something new, and our stylist thought it was a good idea. She said it was pretty,” with the last sentence the redhead looked a little shy.

Namjoon had forgotten how easily Jihoon got shy around people who weren't his pack, and while it did look crazy, it still fit him and even if it didn’t Namjoon had worn green egg hair for an entire comeback so he didn’t really have any space to judge in.

“It looks good the color, maybe just… don’t style it in those weird giant curl things.” that made the beta smile at Namjoon.

“You might be right in that, it’s good to see that you managed to get home here without Yukwon finding a random dog on the street to adopt, as you can see… we have a lot of them already.” he put a small dog in Namjoon’s arms, that was when Namjoon noticed that said dog was wearing a tiny skirt but decided he shouldn’t question what Yukwon did with his dogs.

“You are the maknae you are supposed to be nice to me! I am your hyung and your pack alpha.” Yukwon’s voice was almost whining, but Namjoon knew he wasn’t hurt and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

Ji-hoon's scent was another very unique one, it had taken the members months to actually find out what it was, it turned out it was a form of wood cleaned Ho wood, and his scent was the leaves of that.

The scent was very layered, at first it was floral with a bit of citrus, but at the same time, it was a bright light and happy, maybe on the side of slightly softer. The scent was unique, while in many scents it was easy to smell if it belonged to an omega, beta or alpha, but Jihoon’s scent could somehow fit onto any of the sub-genders.

But then Namjoon thought about the word Hoe in english, and then he just couldn’t stop giggling, he wasn’t sure if it was cause he felt good about himself, because he had finally started to feel a little bit more like himself, maybe it was because of the kiss he had just shared that had to take his both physical and metaphorical breath away, or maybe it was remnants of his heat and the time he had spent with Seungri and Daesung had made him silly, but all he could do was giggle into the side of the dog he had been given.

The small dog seemed equally as confused about what was going on as Yukwon and Jihoon who kinda just stared at him, seeming a little confused and maybe even a little worried for Namjoon’s mental health “are you okay?”

All Namjoon could do was giggle out “Hoe,”

And that was when Jihoon noticed “You are like Jaehyo after a bad heat, you guys get super silly and cuddly! It goes over after a few days, but it is basically just a sign that your inner omega while being happy enough with your attempt to reproduce, it still thinks that it deserves more hugs and cuddles!”

Yukwon cooed a little, mainly to tease Jihoon “look at our baby all grown up and giving advice!”

Jihoon just pouted “Namjoon is the baby now! I’m older than him!” he had placed himself behind Namjoon, who had finally managed to get himself a little bit under control from his giggling.

For a second everything was awkward as Jihoon stretch his arms out from behind Namjoon as to hug him around the waist, then he stopped… pulled his arms back just to pull them out again, “uhm… Can I hug you?” the beta sounded hesitant “like if you aren’t okay with it yet that is totally understandable, I know that while we are courting you, you don’t actually know me that well and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, this is a stupid question I am just gonna… go and uhm… sit in the corner awkwardly, don’t mind me.”

Namjoon didn’t let the beta move away tho, he was quick at grabbing the others hands to lead them around his waist to where he originally wanted to place them “It’s okay, I think I would like that to be honest, my mind… I still feel like I want people close all the time, and I haven’t really seen a beta since my heat, it is very calming.” He was trying to keep his voice soft and sweet, but every word out of his mouth was the truth, he hadn’t noticed, but now with Jihoon there with a beta there, he felt like he finally got something he hadn’t noticed that he was missing.

At first, Jihoon seemed a little hesitant, but he then relaxed and hugged Namjoon close to him “Welcome to Block B"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said there is one chapter of Taehyung back, and then we are 110% on the Block B train, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter tho and enjoyed Block B!


	78. Saying that I’m your man, I trusted you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know right, another chapter in the same week. I am on a roll!

Namjoon didn’t know what he had expected, maybe for it to be awkward, maybe for it to feel weird without Jiho and Kyung there, but it didn’t, it felt… normal.

Maybe it was caused while he hadn’t been focusing solely on the rest of Block B before, and while he had always had Jiho and Kyung as buffers, it felt natural and good still without them.

It turned out that Jihoon was right, he was feeling a lot more cuddly than normal, his mind still overflowing with heat hormones without being sexual urges, this was what had lead to him on the couch cuddled up with Jihoon. Getting to know the Block B maknae was actually very interesting to Namjoon, he had always known the things that were on the surface like the younger love for rapping and how he liked composing as well plus his acting, but that was all just who he was on the surface.

He talked and showed Namjoon some work on a single for the next Bastarz comeback, while it was just a rough framework, and it still needed tons of work before it was ready for the October comeback, but it was clear that Jihoon was throwing his heart into it.

Sitting on the couch, under a blanket with his thighs almost glued to Jihoon’s was nice and sweet, laughing at small things like the beta’s spelling or other stuff like it was nice. It was weird to think that Jihoon was actually older than Namjoon, it was clear to feel that the beta was used to being the youngest.

But that was okay with Namjoon, he liked feeling a little like Jihoon’s hyung as he pointed out a few changes, that he could make the song he was working on, the young beta blushed a little as Yukwon yelled for them that food was ready “Thank you… for the help that is, I wanted to ask Jiho for help, but he is releasing two songs tomorrow, and I don’t want to stress him, he already works so hard.”

While Namjoon understood where Jihoon was coming from, he used to have the same back in the day with Yoongi, before everything had happened.

Back then Namjoon and the BTS pack alpha had been so close, both had worked so damn hard and Namjoon had felt a little guilty for asking Yoongi for help when he was stuck with a song, but the other rapper had called him stupid and made sure that Namjoon knew that he could always come to him no matter what, oh what had happened to them.

“Jiho would still love to help you even if he is busy, we both know that,” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from teasing the other.

Jihoon smiled a soft private smile “yeah… he is really a softy no matter how it is that he presents himself to the world, but I wanna prove that I can do this without him, I want him… I want everybody to be proud of me, show that I have really grown over these years.”

The omega just smiled, he understood what Jihoon meant, the feeling that you could do something by yourself, the feeling of wanting people to be proud of you. Specially as the youngest in a group and in a pack, looking at it Namjoon was sure that some of that pressure was actually why it had gone so wrong for Jungkook, things had moved so fast that it was weird to think about the fact that Jungkook had only been an alpha for five months, the need to please with only Yoongi to look up to, was what had gone so badly.

It wasn’t really BTS’s fault that everything had gone so bad, at least in Namjoon’s head, a bad case of circumstances and accidents all happening at the same time.

So he smiled at Jihoon softly“I get it,” he couldn’t stop himself from pressing a kiss to the betas cheek with a pleased expression “I am sure that you are going to be great, I trust that, but we both know that you don’t need to do this for everybody to be proud of you.”

Jihoon seemed a little shy as he pressed a hand to his cheek like some bottom shelf shojo manga, which yes… was kinda cute, as cute as a tall idol with bright red hair and the worst haircut since the egg haircut Namjoon himself had coined, which okay was actually really cute “you have to be careful, if you keep being this cute, I might not share you with the rest of my pack.”

The two grinned at each other, before Yukwon’s voice bellowed from the kitchen “While this is all cute and stuff, but from what Jiho has said, Namjoon’s doctor is terrifying and I don’t wanna be the one that had to tell her that you kept him away from food just cause you thought that being cute was the correct time currently.”

The pack alpha was leaning against the door to the kitchen, wearing an actual hideous apron with the text ‘Kiss the cook’ where the o had been replaced with a c so it instead said ‘kiss the cock’ and Namjoon had to hold a hand to his mouth to not laugh at the actual ridiculous visual the alpha was making.

Jihoon on the other side found it to be the correct time to be cheeky “is that what you are serving us, while I on board isn’t that a little rude to Namjoon, he did just arrive.”

Yukwon looked down at the apron and then flushed a red color ripping it off as fast as he could “goddamnit you guys are gonna be the end of me.”

“Well, I can help you with the end.” Jihoon was giving Namjoon’s waist a light teasing squish as to show that he was just pulling Yukwon’s tail.

The blonde was pushing a hand through his hair almost like he wanted to give up “you are not 19 anymore stop thinking with your dick.”

That seemed to be the line for both Jihoon and Namjoon, who with Namjoon’s still kinda present heat scent and Namjoon just feeling soft and silly, they both laughed like little kids as Jihoon repeated the word “dick” a few times.

Yukwon just stared at them with his eyebrow raised, as an alpha he was less weak to the post heat scent of Namjoon, he still smiled at the two. Jihoon had always been sensitive to smell, during, right before and right after he was always hanging on Jahyo unable to let him go.

They had at times thought that maybe it was cause Jaehyo’s natural omega scent was an aphrodisiac, but only during said heat did it actually seem to be sexual for the youngest beta. He just seemed to want to be close to omega’s and he felt equally soft as the omega in question.

Yukwon while in the kitchen, had texted around that Namjoon was with them and he seemed to be one of the few omegas that had bad post heat hormones, but he was okay and he was just a little silly and a lot soft.

He had snapped a quick picture of the maknae and Namjoon sitting together, holding hands laughing while looking that the lyrics book, he had gotten mainly comes back in return and a quick apology from Youngbae who had explained that the two Big Bang members had wanted to stay with Namjoon a little longer, to make sure he was actually okay, but Namjoon had chased them home.

Yukwon smiled at that waiting for the rice to be done, that did seem like a Namjoon thing to do, he knew that both older idols had the stuff to do that they had set on hold to be with the BTS omega during his heat. Yukwon had sent a quick answer back that it was understandable, it was important for all of them that they didn’t try to take Namjoon’s indepences away from him if Namjoon said that it was okay for the Big Bang members to leave they should all listen and believe him.

So the alpha just thanks them for looking after Namjoon during the heat and making sure he didn’t go through it alone, he didn’t ask for details or for what had gone down during it, that was between Namjoon and the Big Bang members.

Yukwon checked his phone one last time before putting it down and sitting down to eat with the two others “Jaehyo, Taeil and Minhyuk are going to be home in less than an hour, but they have already eaten to feel free to dig in as much as you want.”

Both Namjoon and Jihoon seemed a little hesitant with that, but Yukwon didn’t push them, he thought that if anybody would be able to understand Namjoon in Block B around food it would be the maknae, it wasn’t that he had ever had an eating disorder, but they all knew his relationship with food wasn’t the best.

This came from the fact that he was forced to lose weight and then redo his audition to become an idol, he still to this day refused to tell any of them how he had managed to lose the 10 kilos, but non of them was gonna push him on it, they just always made sure that he knew that they all loved him no matter what he weighed.

Sometimes around comebacks, they always made sure to give Jihoon a little bit more love and eating with him not leaving it up to himself to get food like they normally would when they were busy. This way they had made sure that no actual eating disorder even came up, and they had a happily loved maknae that was healthy.

Jihoon seemed to notice what was going on, as he smiled at Namjoon “You coming here actually saved Yukwon from having to go to vocal practice, that is why he made food. He feels that he owes you something.” He lead some of the rice to his mouth and started chewing still with a smile on his face, hoping Namjoon would follow him.

The beta knew that at moments like this, it wasn’t good to leave people alone with their thoughts, that never lead anybody to anywhere good, and it was a lot easier to eat when you were distracted.

It seemed to work as Namjoon himself after a brief second looked at Yukwon almost insulted “If you had to practice you should have said so! I could have found my way over here alone!” he was quick at following the sentence with putting food in his mouth.

Jihoon smiled a silly smile that Namjoon couldn’t see, and Yukwon looked like a child that had been scolded “I just wanted to be nice, and I get to know you some more alone! You can’t blame me, I had never tried to be alone with you before!”

But it didn’t seem the youngest was done with teasing Yukwon yet, normally he wouldn’t tease his pack alpha this much, but he liked how he was making Namjoon laugh and yeah… post heat scent, “what if Namjoon didn’t wanna be met by an alpha?”

At that Yukwon just looked like he had realized that one of his hands were made out of pasta “I uhm… I didn’t think of that, oh god why did non of you stop me? Are we all stupid? Oh god… we were actually all dropped on our head as children weren’t we?”

Namjoon felt like he had to stop everything from spiraling out of control “It was fine! I have gotten a lot better with alpha’s, as long as people don’t move to fast and try to force things on me I am really fun. I still find myself at moments preferring omega’s and beta’s, but I have gotten to really enjoy spending times with alpha’s as well. And I trust you, I know we don’t know each other on a 1 on 1 way yet, but I trust you. You have always treated me well!”

Jihoon slung an arm around the omega next to him in a hug, while at the same time pushing food into his own mouth with the chopsticks “I am just teasing Yukwon, we trust you to say if you weren’t comfortable with him being there.” the sloppy kiss he pressed on Namjoon cheek were non to great, with food still in his mouth, but it made the omega laugh which was his goal.

“Thank you, for trusting me to stand up for myself. I have felt a little like I am losing control of my own life. I get why everybody has been walking on eggshell around me, but now everybody is slowly trusting me more. It feels good, I am feeling a lot more like myself now.” Namjoon put a little bit more food in his own mouth, he wasn’t even thinking about it.

He still struggled with eating, and when nobody was around him, he had a bad habit of not eating anything at all, but in moments like this, he didn’t even struggle. While he only managed to finish half his plate of food under the general chatter with Yukwon and Jihoon, he still felt proud of himself.

Half the plate was a much more than he would have eaten just a few months ago, he wasn’t under the impression that he was completely healed yet. Doctor Choi had warned him that anorexia wasn’t something you were cured for, but something you learned to live with, and he couldn’t agree with her more.

He thought of Himchan and how the beta had still struggled at times, but he had a good support system, and he couldn’t stop himself from taking a picture of the plate sending it said beta with the text ‘managed to eat all of this without forcing myself to do it, remember to eat as well! Love you <3’

Namjoon knew it was a little cheesy, but Himchan and B.A.P, in general, had helped him so much, and he hadn’t talked to them since he got out of the heat, other than one quick text around to people that he was fine and it had passed.

Before he had presented, Namjoon had always been to busy to answer his texts, plus somewhere in his mind, he hadn’t thought that he deserved it and to have this many great friends.

While he still at times had negative feelings about himself and that he didn’t deserve his friends, it was a lot better now a day. He still needed to take one day at a time, but he was getting better at it.

Just small texts or pictures to people around the day, god how was he supposed to pick just one pack?

This was only the third pack to court him, but he already missed all of his friends that he had spent time with. This is wanna gonna be so hard to pick, he still had BTS themselves, Monsta x and his time with Block B to spend.

Later while waiting for the three other vocalists to come home, Yukwon and Namjoon were sitting on the couch just talking while scrolling through channels, Jihoon had disappeared for a short moment saying that he was gonna go and do something.

He looked a little shy when he came back hiding something behind his back, both Yukwon and Namjoon looked at the youngest beta waiting for him to speak up about what was going on, it took a little while for Jihoon to gather his courage to actually speak up and speak, “so uhm… you are wearing Jiho’s hoodie and I know it was the one that he and Kyung both had scented to make you have something you knew while being alone, but all the scent is gone… So uhm… I… uhm… “ he was staring at the floor cheeks flushed a little shyly “I know it isn’t the same, but since those two aren’t here currently and I know that Jaehyo prefers to wear somebody else's scent after a heat, so I thought maybe you would like this.”

Still looking anywhere that wasn’t Namjoon he finally showed what he had behind his back, it was… a hoodie, it was clearly worn a lot from how the end of the sleeve was discolored and had loose strings, it was smelling very clearly of Jaehyo and Jihoon “I tried to see if I could find one of Jiho’s hoodies, but all I could find was Kyung’s and he is tiny and you… aren’t?” it was almost said like a question like the redhead wasn’t clear if it was the correct thing to say, but he kept soldiering on “So since Jaehyo’s heat was only a week ago, and this still smells very heavily of him and me, and you are the same height as me… I thought maybe you would like this?”

Jihoon still wasn’t looking at Namjoon, he was clearly shy about it, but Namjoon couldn’t stop smiling, it was so sweet of Jihoon, he could remember how Kyung at one time long long ago, had cooed over the youngest beta. It was back the first time they had all spent Jaehyo’s heat alone, Kyung would later tell Namjoon about how soft their baby beta was, but also with how in tune with everybody he seemed to be, especially with Jaehyo.

Namjoon could now see why, it was clear that Jihoon was very sensitive not only to scents (Which Namjoon knew), but also to omegas in general, and he had somehow noticed that he had started to feel a little sad about how the hoodie was only smelling of Namjoon himself.

So he stood up, stepped a little closer to Jihoon while pulling off the hoodie he was wearing to pull on Jihoon’s instead. It smelled so clearly of both ho leaf and Jaehyo’s rich Ylang-ylang, another very unique scent.

The hoodie did indeed fit Namjoon very well, well okay it was somehow too big, but Namjoon was pretty sure it wasn’t cause the hoodie was too big, but instead that it had been used for comfort for so many years that the sleeves had been pulled long. It was very comfortable and nice.

That was only one thing that Namjoon could say that could show his appreciation and express how he was feeling, his sentence lighting up Jihoon’s face in a big grin.

“I am going to kiss you now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we are moving slow, but this start is important.
> 
> It gives a view into how Namjoon is doing with all his stuff, and it gives a little breathing room before everything picks up again very soon!
> 
> I hope you all liked this!


	79. I’ll poke it with a thorn, make it burn, Oh God God God God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon with Block B!

The rest of Block B, minus Kyung and Jiho, arrived him just 10 minutes after the hoodie incident.

Namjoon smells them before he actually sees them, the mild scent of yarrow, a kinda chrysanthemums scent with an underlying peppery undertone, this belonging to Taeil, next coming the scent that Namjoon was already wearing, Ylang Ylang… Jaehyo.

And last but not least, Palma Rosa, the scent always confused Namjoon a bit, it kinda smells like rose, but at the same time, it clearly wasn’t a normal rose. He couldn’t explain it, but he knew that it belonged to Minhyuk.

The first to enter the living room was Jaehyo, as always Namjoon couldn’t help but admire just how good looking Jaehyo was, he didn’t really look like a normal omega, he was tall and classically good looking.

He looked like a beta, to be honest.

Jaehyo had the same air around him that Seokjin also had, the air of being a classical kpop beauty and a visual. Jaehyo was tall, taller than Namjoon had clearly been working out, but not in an alpha way of working out, but in a fit way and his hair was dyed a very light brown color.

Behind him was the member often got confused for being the Block B omega, Taeil was short and cute, there was no other way to put it, and Namjoon couldn’t disagree with the other member that together with Jihoon he had the best aegyo. He was wearing a long shirt, but Namjoon could still see the giant bat tattoo on his neck.

For him Taeil had always been an enigma, the shorter was cute to look at, but at the same time he had these big colored tattoos all over his body, and he liked to at times give his members hell as the oldest member of Block B. Taeil was something special, Namjoon always thought that him and Jihoon should have swapped body, the maknae looked all manly and stuff, but was actually a sweet cinnamon inside.

But now that Namjoon looked at them together as Taeil more or less threw himself on top of the youngest beta, he figured he was actually wrong, how you looked didn’t dictate who you were. Taeil was who he was, short and cute, covered in colorful tattoos and it fit him, and Namjoon found it adorable still how in private he was clearly close and soft with his members, specially Jihoon who he seemed to have a soft spot for.

Last in, closing the door to shut the cold from the hallway out was Minhyuk, his hair was a pitch black color that fit him so well framing his face. Namjoon could still remember the first time he had met Minhyuk, it was only a few weeks before their debut back in… god 2011, he had just been 17 back then, it had been the first time that he was gonna meet Jiho and Kyung’s group. He had been just a child back then, and he wasn’t proud to admit that he might have been slightly judgmental.

He had been part of the underground rap scene for a while at that time, and while he had accepted that Kyung and Jiho were going to be idols, but he still had a none to polite view of idols.

This had been before he even knew what Big Hit Entertainment was.

Much to Namjoon’s despair Block B had been very likable, he couldn’t even dislike them if he tried. Looking back at it, he had been a lot more affected by the underground rap scene than he would like to admit even now, it had taught him a lot of skill and he wouldn’t be where he was without it, but it also influenced him in ways he wishes it hadn’t. It wasn’t a good place to have a lot of your formative years.

But that lead Namjoon’s thought back to how he had first met Minhyuk, Namjoon hadn’t meant to meet them, but he was spending time with Jiho who had asked his opinion on some of the lyrics he had written.

Namjoon would admit that he wasn’t great at writing lyrics back then, and he was pretty sure that Jiho just used the excuse of lyrics to get Namjoon to met the people who were very likely going to be his pack at some point.

For almost thirty seconds, everybody had just stood there and stared at each other, Namjoon sitting on the couch just staring at all of them. Since he hadn’t presented yet, (which he at that time, had thought would happen in around a year and that, of course, he would present as either an alpha or beta… he was a rapper, after all, omega’s didn’t rap.) this meant that he couldn’t smell everybody’s scents and get a better understanding of what was going on through that.

The silence had been broken when Namjoon had tried for a half awkward smile, and that was when Minhyuk had taken the silence and thrown it on the ground with an eager comment “dimples!”

And in a few long steps, he was right in front of the couch kneeling down before Namjoon “smile please.”

Jiho’s sigh was still to this day clear in Namjoon’s mind, he suddenly sounded like he was 90 and ready to die of old age “I forgot to warn you… Minhyuk has a thing for dimples it’s really weird, please ignore him, that works for the rest of us when he gets weird.”

At that Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling, dimples on full view at Minhyuk who almost squealed and put his hands on either side of Namjoon’s face to squish it “Can we keep him, please? Do you sing? Dance? Rap? We can have more members!”

At that time Namjoon was only 17 and didn’t enjoy being called cute, he was supposed to be an alpha!

The worst part was that Namjoon knew that alpha’s could be cute and he liked cute alpha’s, but some part of him also knew that he was probably going to be an omega, and he had already at that point been very busy denying it.

For a second it had been nice to have somebody call him cute and fuss over him like that, Jiho and Kyung had used to both do it as well before Namjoon got older and refused them doing it.

Remembering all of that as Minhyuk entered the room, Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from sending Minhyuk the widest most dimpled smile he possibly could, which the beta noticed as he walked into the room, his smile was soft and nice as he smiled back at Namjoon.

But then Jaehyo placed himself onto Yukwon’s lap next who was sitting next to Namjoon, the tall omega took a non to soft grasp on the pack alpha’s cheeks “you left us alone at practice, you slacker!”

For a second Namjoon was worried that the older omega were actually angry at Yukwon, and he could feel a slight tinge of panic inside him that he had caused problems for the group on his first day there, but Minhyuk seemed to understand as he shook his head behind Jaehyo’s back and made a hush sound as to listen to the two argue.

“Argh! Don’t do that!” he tried to knock away Jaehyo’s hands and turn his head away from his grabby hands, but it was no help, there was no getting away from the omega, “I am sorry! Mercy please!”

Jaehyo was pouting as he was pinching the alpha’s cheeks, “bad alpha,” he then placed a kiss on the others noose “next time please take somebody with you, even if it’s security or a manager.”

That was when Namjoon realized what was actually going on, Jaehyo wasn’t angry that Yukwon hadn’t been at practice, nor was he angry that the alpha had gone to pick up Namjoon, he was worried about Yukwon going alone. That worried Namjoon as well “do you guys have a stalker issue?”

It didn’t even fall for Namjoon to be worried about himself or anything like that, he was just worried about them, but Minhyuk just laughed “Nah, please don’t worry our alpha dearest are just not always great at not getting distracted and that is how you end up with a dog army, plus he can be kinda gullible at times cause his alpha instincts tell him to help and protect people, stupid silly alpha.”

Now it was Yukwon who were pouting, in a way that Namjoon did still have to get used to with alpha’s, coursing Namjoon to giggle a little “they are so cute tho,” he had 3 different tiny dogs on his lap.

“You saw that now, but not when one of them puts their butt in your face in the morning, even tho they aren’t even supposed to be allowed in the bedroom, but some people can't say no to dogs.” Minhyuk gave a very pointed glare to Yukwon.

The alpha smiled awkwardly “I did say I was sorry for that! But she looked so sad when I was gonna close the door, we had just gotten her! She didn’t know the other dogs yet, she didn’t want to be alone! How can you say no that face?”

Minhyuk on his side didn’t seem that impressed as he leaned his face down to one of the dogs on Namjoon’s lap, and as he got very close to it “No,” as he turned his head towards Yukwon he looked like a cat with his head in the cream bowl “and that is how you say no.”

Yukwon was still pouting and Namjoon couldn’t really blame him, he wasn’t sure that he himself would have the ability to say no to a dog, that simply wasn’t an ability he had and he hugged the dog that Minhyuk had just said no to close as an apology for a no the poor dog didn’t even understand.

“She just really loved you okay!” yukwon was trying for his cutest face, looking from Minhyuk to Jaehyo “and we didn’t pick another dog up! We just had a conversation as I said we would! See I was good!”

Minhyuk looked at Namjoon who were happily getting his face licked by the dogs “I guess you did do that,”

For Namjoon it was still really weird to have the pack being scolded by the omega and another beta, but that was one of the reasons that Namjoon had always felt so comfortable with the Block B pack, they were special in that.

Why most of Namjoon’s friends didn’t care about sub-genders at all, with the vast majority of Block B being beta’s, they took not caring about subgender to a whole other level.

At that Minhyuk looked at Namjoon who he was still kneeled in front of “since you are still here, I take it that you are okay with giving the rest of us a chance with Kyung and Jiho here? We won’t blame you if you don’t feel comfortable without them here. Yes, we are to court you, but we don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”

Namjoon looked around at them, Jihoon and Taeil cuddling on the coach, the youngest beta happily scenting along Taeil’s neck as the oldest just let him with a soft smile on his lips, to Jaehyo and Yukwon sitting on the coach.

The Omega had released the other's cheeks, and was now easily resting on his lips arms lax around his alpha’s shoulder, with said alpha resting his face against his shoulder smiling a small happy smile while looking at Namjoon.

To Minhyuk sitting on his knees in front of Namjoon, waiting for an answer, and Namjoon thought back on when Jihoon had wrapped his long arms around Namjoon and told him a welcome to the pack.

It was right, he didn’t know them that well without his friends here, but he felt welcome and happy, he felt comfortable, and while he knew he was loose and soft from the heat that had just passed. He also knew that it was more than that, this wasn’t just his post heat. He felt safe here, yes he knew them less than Jiho and Kyung, but he had known these people longer than anybody else in this idol world.

He smiled a little hugging the dog close to him “I wanna stay here, I feel comfortable. Must it be just as strange for you guys to have me here? You don’t know me without them here either.”

Namjoon could feel an incline of fear in the back of his mind like he was unsure of why the pack had even agreed to court him, while yes he was getting better, he was still an insecure person, that was part of who he was, no matter how much he tried.

Everybody was silent for a moment, as to figure out the right thing to say, but it Jaehyo who spoke up “not really, when we agreed to court you, it was a decision we made as a pack not just Kyung and Jiho. We know you, we believe that you make a good fit for us, and if we wanna be a pack with you, it would be terrible if we weren’t comfortable with you without the other two here.” without moving from Yukwon’s lap where he had made himself comfortable, he reached over to fluff up Namjoon’s hair “plus you are adorable.”

That broke the tense moment that was there, and Minhyuk feeling that maybe it would still be a little too early for him to actually kiss Namjoon, instead lifted up one of the dogs to Namjoon face on pushed it’s wet nose against Namjoon while making a kiss sound.

Namjoon just giggled a little at it, “thank you, I still… I still get confused why so many people would want me in their pack.”

For the first time, Taeil spoke up from his spot on top of Jihoon “It’s okay to be insecure at times, everybody gets it at times. We can work with that, you have been through a lot, we just have to convince you that you are loved.”

“He is right,” Jihoon’s words were mumbled as they were spoken into Taeil’s neck since he seemed like he wasn’t really ready to let the smaller beta go.

Everybody got themselves comfortable on the coach, Minhyuk taking a spot next to Namjoon, hesitating a moment before putting his arm around the omegas shoulder, Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from leaning against Minhyuk enjoying the betas, he smiled nice and Namjoon felt comfortable.

People talking and warmth all around him, dogs on his lap and feeling comfortable, he didn’t feel the need to join in the conversation, instead, he ended up falling asleep with everybody’s scent around him making him feel even softer.

When he woke up later, Minhyuk’s arm was still around him petting his hair a little, three different dogs were sitting over Namjoons lap and sleeping, but that wasn’t the reason that Namjoon had woken up.

The reason he had woken up was cause everybody seemed to have an almost whispering argument.

Namjoon kept his eyes closed, it wasn’t to listen to something he wasn’t supposed to do, but he still struggled with confrontation, every time he thought of speaking up in an argument, his cheek was almost stinging with phantom pain from where Yoongi had hit him. He knew Block B wasn’t like this, but he was still almost frozen on Minhyuk’s arm.

“We have to tell him, it feels wrong this way, it’s almost like we are lying.” Jaehyo’s voice was clear and stable even while he was whispering.

Yukwon was the one who answered him, “I already told him that we have no major issues as a pack if we tell him now this way it’s gonna seem like I lied to him. Please don’t make me a liar, that is not the way we are gonna start this off.”

Even with closed eyes, Namjoon could hear how Jaehyo was walking back and forwards, “but this is lying as well!” he sighed, the omega sounded so frustrated, and Namjoon really wanted to hug the omega.

What was even going on, it was clear that they were talking about him, what was wrong? Were they trying to hide something from him? For what? To make themselves seem like a better pack?

That didn’t make any sense, did it? That wasn’t the kind of people they were, Namjoon knew that much about him, right?

Minhyuk didn’t say anything, but with how he started being more eager in his petting of Namjoon’s hair and how Namjoon could hear his heart rate pick up, it was clear that Minhyuk were equally as affected by the argument going on.

Yukwon sighed as well, and Namjoon could feel how the alpha moved on the couch moving closer to Minhyuk to lean on him as well “Isn’t it better to let himself tell it to Namjoon?”

“Jae has a point, we can get this all over with if we are the ones who tell him, he will come home quicker and we can talk it all over. He is being stupid, I am sure Namjoon doesn’t see it that way anyway! Yes from the outside it looks bad, but if we explain it to Namjoon, I am sure that he will accept it! And we can stop having two of our pack members hide!” Jihoon sounded… just sad, sad and lonely.

“Exactly! If this keeps going on, Namjoon is gonna think they don’t want him! We can’t just keep this inside, we have to be up and open about this! We can work through this!”

What was going on? Why were somebody hiding from him? It made no sense to Namjoon.

It didn’t sound like an argument anymore, it just sounded like 5 sad people just discussing things, and Namjoon felt sorry for them, he didn’t know what was going on, but that didn’t matter.

Nobody seemed to pick up after Jaehyo, leaving Namjoon to open his eyes look at them all “please just tell me, I wanna help.”

Everybody looked surprised that Namjoon was awake other than one… Jaehyo.

He looked Namjoon deep into his eyes “It’s Kyung… He has… a problem as you could say, and he is afraid of meeting you at the moment.”

Oh… not what Namjoon expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few things!
> 
> 1) The next chapter of Taehyung, will also be the last and it will come... before Namjoon is done with Block B, I am writing it at the same time as Namjoon's and it's going to be long, it's 3.5k at the moment.
> 
> 2) I managed to get oil burn all over my hand, and it is mostly second-degree burns, so I can't really write with it... making me really slow at writing and next weekend I am gonna go to my brothers konfirmation on the other part of Denmark... so little time to write.
> 
> 3) I forgot... a few weeks ago I released a Jackson focused chapter of Hidden Omega, feel free to read if you want, it is the latest in the Hidden Omega side stories!
> 
> 4) I released an intro chapter to a Vixx Hakyeon x Ravi, Figure skating x ice hockey story. I am not writing less Hidden Omega I promise, I just need to write something else some days.


	80. I can still feel you, But like a burnt out flame, Burnt and destroyed all of our love

“It’s cause he…”

Namjoon interrupted him before he managed to finish the sentence “I don’t wanna know, I want Kyung to tell me himself, it’s not fair this way.”

He knew that it was weird that one of his oldest friends didn’t wanna speak to him, but it was also cause it was Kyung that it was better for them all that Namjoon and he talked it out.

Jaehyo looked a little guilty “We just wanted to help.”

“I understand, you should inform me that something is wrong, but let me and Kyung speak it over like adults instead of me hearing it secondhand,” Namjoon felt sad inside, he tried not to, but he couldn’t stop being worried that he had done something, even if it wasn’t the way that Jaehyo had phrased it “Does Jiho have problems with me as well? Is that why he is not here.”

At that Minhyuk let out a little laugh as he finally spoke up, he had just been cuddling Namjoon close, letting the two omegas talk as they wanted to “Nah, he is just a workaholic and he didn’t want Kyung to be alone when he was hiding away.”

Taeil spoke up next “and Kyung doesn’t have a problem with you, he is just afraid that he has done something that you won't forgive him for, and he finds hiding better than facing it head-on. You would think that somebody like Kyung would be opposite, but I guess we can’t judge him for not wanting to face it head-on.”

“Plus I think both Zico and Kyung wants to discuss something with you,” Yukwon’s voice was very serious at that moment. At that moment he sounded like the pack alpha he was, which was maybe capped off by the fact that he was lying on the couch with 3 tiny dogs on top of him.

Minhyuk could feel how Namjoon tensed up next to him, with his arm still petting Namjoon’s hair he could feel every moment the younger was doing “no it’s not like that, this might not be the right moment to talk about it, but we thought that now that you are better… somebody has to talk to you about why you suppress your sub gender, there was no BTS pack when it happened and things hadn’t become that bad at the moment.” Minhyuk’s voice was stable and soft, clearly wanting to comfort Namjoon “and we are the only people who knew you back then, and Kyung and Jiho knew you better than anybody, there was part of the underground with you. We think it’s best if you talk it all out, have a real heart to heart.”

Namjoon could almost feel his heart slow down, this was the one conversation that he had tried to avoid the best he could. He knew that people were blaming Yoongi and BTS for him not presenting, but they didn’t do the math right, it was way before that.

Jiyong-hyung had been the first to point it out, it was the view of omega rappers that had really made Namjoon reject himself.

He was like Taehyung really, he had wanted to be an alpha or beta so badly, he was already younger than many other people, he wanted to be respected and praised for his work, not for people to focus on his sub gender.

Namjoon didn’t know what to say, he knew that it was the right thing to do, but he felt scared, hanging his head not wanting to look at any of them, for a moment it seemed like Block B was afraid that they had pushed Namjoon to fast. Minhyuk kept his arm around Namjoon, but not saying anything.

It was Taeil who actually reacted, he moved himself from Jihoon’s lap to instead crawl over to Namjoon “We are not trying to push you or anything like that, we are not saying that you have to have the entire conversation at one time, but we want you to reach your full potential as a person.”

And then the tiny beta did something nobody had done to Namjoon since he was 17, he reached out for Namjoon with his pinky out “truth time?”

It was a thing from back with his time underground, back with just Jiho and Kyung, it was their thing. If there were called truth time, everybody would ignore the ideas of who they wanted to show them as, and you could talk about your feelings openly no matter how un rapper they were.

Namjoon reached out a little hesitantly and linked his pinky with Taeil “truth time.” it felt so weird to do it when he was no longer a child, and the person in front of him wasn’t Jiho, but it did make Namjoon feel a little bit better.

There were many reasons to why it made Namjoon feel better, one of them being that Taeil’s facial expression was serious and there was no sign that he was making fun of Namjoon, and that this was such a little thing for Namjoon and Jiho, just a silly thing they did as kids, but it was still something that the older rapper had found important enough to tell his pack about, which was a real sign of how much everybody actually wanted this.

Namjoon wasn’t sure how this was supposed to go, was he supposed to speak up first or did Taeil want to start this. Luckily it seemed that the tattooed beta understood that Namjoon was a little confused and he started “we are worried about you, that isn’t just Jiho and Kyung, it’s all of us, we might not have been part of the underground like you guys were, but the way that they talk about it, the judgement there was there, all of us are worried for you. That is the reason that we think that we should have this conversation, we are not saying that we need to have it as a group, not that we need to have it all at once if you feel more comfortable just talking to Kyung… to Jiho… to any of us or to one of the dogs for the reason. We just think it’s time that you talk it out with somebody, somebody you know won't judge you.”

Now it was Namjoon’s turn, it was truth time, there was he couldn’t sugar coat it or avoid it, he had agreed to this, he would be truthful. He took a look at their linked pinkies, then at Taeil, the oldest Block B member was wearing his completely round glasses with the thicker black frames and if you asked Namjoon he looked adorable, and while Taeil might hate his smaller eyes, Namjoon loved them and his eye smile that he was currently showing Namjoon. I made him relax a little, it was truth time, he knew that he wasn’t gonna get judges for what he said.

“I am worried and slightly scared, I have spent so much time locking every thought of that away. I for guilty for letting people believe that it’s BTS’s fault when it isn’t their fault, but it’s easier to let people believe what they want than to admit the truth.” He wanted to look away from Taeil, but he kept looking into the betas eyes “I don’t want people to think I am weak. I want to be respected, as both a rapper and as a leader of BTS.”

Namjoon’s words hung in the air for a few seconds, but Taeil broke his hold on Namjoon’s pinky to instead wrap him up in a tight hug.

For a second Namjoon was a little surprised, all he could do was wrap his arms around the older idol, for a second all he could focus on was how small Taeil was in his arms, it was kinda weird to think about. Even tho Namjoon was the omega, the beta was so much smaller than him, he was even shorter than Jimin.

“You are far from weak, you are one of the strongest people we know.” Those words were from Minhyuk, and somehow Namjoon and Taeil ended up in the middle of a giant group hug.

That was how the conversation ended, for now, Namjoon knew that it wasn’t gonna be the end forever, but he needed to talk with Kyung and Jiho first, he needed to find out what was wrong and what it was that Kyung was throwing around in that head of his.

He had talked with the rest of Block B and they had told him where the two other betas were staying… Jiho’s studio, cause that was totally a good place to sleep in… and Namjoon was gonna go their first thing in the morning.

They almost settled back into a soft conversation between each other, before Namjoon almost nodded off on Minhyuk’s shoulder and the beta made a decision “what about we all head to bed? I feel like it might be the best, cause none of us can carry Jihoon to bed when he without a doubt falls asleep after getting scent drunk”

“Hey!” Jihoon was pouting, but it was kinda ruined with how his face was still stuck in the crook of Taeil’s neck, after their talk the oldest beta had made his way back to the maknae to lie comfortably on top of him.

For Namjoon it was kinda weird how well they fit together, Jihoon’s much larger body gave Taeil a comfortable place to lie and he seemed to be the most accepting of how Jihoon loved to just scent people.

Taeil giggled a little “You do get scent drunk very easily, you would think at 23 you weren’t such a baby beta anymore, but you are still such a pup in many ways, maybe it’s our own fault for babying you.”

That just made Jihoon pout more “I have changed my opinion, you guys can keep him, I don’t want him anymore.”

The laughs were friendly, and everybody knew that the young beta didn’t actually mean it, Jihoon might be the youngest and a lot more soft than his public image showed, that didn’t change the fact that Namjoon knew that he would fight nail and tooth for his pack, and specially Taeil.

Taeil might be the oldest and have covered himself in tattoos, but he was still kinda innocent in a way that Namjoon could appreciate, and it was kinda cute to see the maknae be so protective over the oldest.

For a second he imagined Jungkook being that protective over Seokjin, that was the thing tho, even after how bad things had gotten, he could still imagine it. Jungkook was so young, he had never really gotten the time to adjust to everything, with hormone issues and the pack problems.

Jungkook was so defensive about getting babied, that it was easy for Namjoon to forget that he had only been an alpha for less than 6 months.

As everybody got ready to bed Namjoon get stopped by Jaehyo, the omega had grabbed the back of his shirt, the older looked very out of character almost shy when he looked at the ground instead of at Namjoon “Jae?”

“Will you sleep with me,” he cringed when he realized what it sounded like he was asking “I mean, would you cuddle with me tonight?”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giving Jaehyo a wide smile “I would love to, you don’t have to ask.”

“I didn’t just wanna assume,” Jaehyo looked out of character shy as he continued “it has been a while since we have had an omega here or I have been out with others,”

He understood what the other meant, but it did make him a little worried “are you unpurpose not spending time with other omega’s? That’s not good for you!”

Jaehyo looked a surprised “Of course not! I just… I forget it instead, especially when we are busy and it isn’t like we have many omega friends, to be honest, and I am not great at getting along with the omegas that there is… I almost made Hyuk cry, which, I promise was not unpurpose!”

Namjoon just felt confused at that, “Hyuk? From Vixx? Isn’t he a beta?” he suddenly felt bad for getting the Vixx maknaes sub gender wrong, he was sure that he was a beta.

“Oh no, he is without a doubt a beta, oh my god, I think Taekwoon would have been dead if they had 4 omegas, Hyuk as in DEAN, one of Jiho’s friends, he sings, and writes… I think Jiho has a lot of friends, and I don’t really keep up with all of them.” Jaehyo smiled at Namjoon, and at that moment Namjoon couldn’t help but hope that one day he could be like Jaehyo, completely calm in his sub gender and clearly happy with little to no regrets.

“I think I know him, to be honest, I have given up with all of Jiho’s friends. I kinda gave up after he tried to explain all the stuff with Jay Park and 2PM, that was when my mind officially gave up following.” It was years ago, back when Namjoon had tried to keep up with every person Jiho met and befriended, but it was really hard to keep up with, to be honest.

“Well if you with your big brain can’t keep up, then I feel better about haven given up as well, like… how does he have so many friends? How does he have time? He spends all his time in the studio, and when he isn’t in the studio he is here begging for cuddles!” Jaehyo giggled with Namjoon and the hand that had been holding Namjoo’s shirt had glided down so he could instead intertwine their fingers.

That leads to a question that Namjoon had had on his tongue since he had agreed to be courted by Block B “Can I ask something?”

“Of course, but we should really go and brush our teeth. Yukwon is gonna refuse to even close to you if you don’t cause his a fucking weirdo.” Jaehyo guided Namjoon to another one of the bathrooms in the dorm. Turned out you really needed more than one bathroom and toilets, unless you wanted Minhyuk to get killed the first time he took his patented 1 and a half hour of shower time.

Years ago, when Jiho… no, maybe it was Kyung… Namjoon wasn’t even sure anymore, back then the two never left each other's side, so all Namjoon’s memories with one was with another as well, well one of them had complained that Minhyuk would shower for over an hour, Namjoon had for sure thought that they were just pulling his leg, there was no way in hell that somebody could shower that long.

Until he was over at the Block B dorm, it had been there first one, before they became popular as a group, and Namjoon had to hold in his pee for over an hour while Minhyuk took his time showering.

After that he never questioned it again, Minhyuk was just insane. That was the only explanation.

As they brushed their teeth and cleaned their skin, Namjoon asked the question he had wondered so long “how is Jiho with the pack compared to normal?”

Namjoon already knew that there was a big difference between on stage or on camera Jiho and home Jiho. It was the difference between Zico and Jiho, just like there was a difference between Rap Monster and Namjoon, but if Namjoon were to be part of the Block B as a pack, as more than just Jiho’s friend.

He wanted to know what the older was really like.

Jaehyu grinned a like a cat who just got cream, he looked like he was about to spill Jiho’s deepest darkest secret, which Namjoon was pretty sure he couldn’t do that, only two people could do that Kyung and Namjoon himself, also known as the power of cringy lyrics all three of them wrote together back in the days. God Jiho would kill him if he showed that to people.

“He is so whiny! Since he always overworks himself, cause he has about zero self-control, he is super whiny and tired when he gets home, all he wants is to get hugs and cuddles, plus he wants attention.

It’s adorable, I can’t wait for you to see, you already know he is much softer outside a studio and off stage, but when it's just pack, it’s different. Kyung thinks it’s cause he spends so long alone in the studio without other people that, he gets to suffer from affection starvation, which he doesn’t notice while he is working.  
There was one special time I remember, it was right up to his solo comeback, he had been extremely busy we hadn’t seen him in days, we were of course worried, I think we even texted you if you had seen him right?”

Namjoon nodded, he remembered that himself, it was the first time Jaehyo had called him by himself, the omega had sounded almost scared, which had made Namjoon worried as well. It was very tense 24 hours, where Namjoon would admit, he got no work done cause of his worry, after that he got a message from Jaehyo that Jiho had come home, and there was no reason to worry, that the beta was gonna be fine and they would make Jiho call Namjoon himself.

The text had been followed with a picture of Jiho almost koalaing Yukwon, who was hugging the Jiho close, “he almost started crying when Yukwon had to get up on the toilet, he was that attention starved and just needed his pack alpha, it was both scary and adorable. I still have a video of it, but I first wanna show it to you when he is here himself, he gets cutely shy about it.”

“I look forward to seeing that,” that actually didn’t tell Namjoon something he didn’t already expect, he knew that Jiho was under a lot of pressure, and one time when the beta had been drunk he had admitted to Namjoon that he was so happy that he wasn’t an alpha and pack alpha, he wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

That made Namjoon think of something Youngbae had told him, Namjoon talked with the oldest Big Bang vocalist more than he probably would like to admit  Youngbae was just so relaxing to, and he never sounded judging when Namjoon needed general information about sub-genders or anything like that, he had specifically told Namjoon to call him instead of googling it, since a lot of the information was either wrong or circumstantial,

Namjoon did tho expect that the real reason was that Youngbae was a mother bird inside and easily got worried and he also wanted to use the many hours he had spent on extra training in sub-genders.

It had been a late night where Namjoon was on his way back to B.a.p after a good amount of hours working in the studio and after that being part of physical therapy, Namjoon couldn’t even remember the reason for why he had called Youngbae in the first place, but it had ended with them talking about Jiyong.

It was clear to Namjoon as soon as Youngbae picked up that something was wrong, at first he was gonna just hangup not to disturb Youngbae, but the other told him that he could use a distraction since there wasn’t anything he could do at the moment.

That was what had lead to them talking about Jiyong, turned out that the older alpha was on the other side of Korea alone, and his rut was coming up soon, but he was either ignoring or not noticing their calls to him and he was busy working.

It was apparently something that happened a fair few times, Jiyong wasn’t good at taking care of each other. Namjoon ended up talking to Youngbae all the way home, they both came to the conclusion that leaders, in general, would make terrible pack leaders, leaders of kpop groups had so much pressure on them, and many needed the love, attention and guiding hand from a pack leader.

Namjoon turned his attention back to Jaehyo, reminding himself to send both Seungri and Daesung other thanks for helping him during his heat and to ask Youngbae how the whole thing with Jiyong ended up.

Jaehyo reached out for Namjoon to lead him to the nest “thank you for going out to Kyung tomorrow, we want them all home as soon as possible and I promise it’s just stupid what he thinks, but you know how he overthinks stuff, and he has always been protective of you for some reason.”

“I know why,” Namjoon smiled a little shy, at first he thought of keeping the reason to himself, but he realized… he wanted to tell the story “I think I was 14 at the time, I had the biggest crush on Jiho, it was just puppy love, it wasn’t like I actually knew what love was, I caught him fooling around with another person around our age. I felt hurt, and Kyung was the one who picked me back up and made me realize that it was just puppy love. But since then I have always easily been hurt by emotional stuff, so Kyung became a little overprotective.”

Jaehyo just smiled at Namjoon leading him to the nest “you are actually the most adorable person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the Taehyung chapter is coming, I am at 5k on it atm, it's so long!
> 
> Also I had to type this chapter with just one hand, which turns out... is very slow.


	81. Don’t be sorry, That makes me more pitiful, With your pretty red lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! 
> 
> END OF THE CHAPTER NOTES I WILL ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS I GOT ABOUT YOONGI, THIS WILL CONTAIN LIGHT SPOILERS LIKE WHERE YOONGI IS AND STUFF LIKE THAT, IF YOU DON'T WANNA READ THAT PLEASE SKIP IT!

Namjoon woke up in the morning with Jaehyo drooling on his bare chest, it had taken a minute or two for older omega to convince Namjoon that it was okay and he should take off his shirt, Namjoon was still self-conscious about his body, but Jaehyo had been so nice about it and wasn’t too pushy about it so it was easy for Namjoon to actually do it.

And as they cuddled in the bed, everybody else gave them a little space, seeming to realize that both of them could need some time with other omega’s, all that happened was both of them getting a quick kiss from all of the members, all quick and soft, clearly just to say good night.

Even tho he had gotten goodnight kisses from Got7 and B.a.p, Namjoon was still so happy every time somebody kissed him goodnight, it was small things like this that he had missed so much.

Jaehyo and Namjoon had cuddled up close to the wall a little away from the others, the older omega had looked with Namjoon, with Namjoon’s consent of course, while Namjoon had written to Daesung and Seungri thanking them for spending his heat with him.

At first all he got back was a thank you from both of them, Daesung’s by a sticker with a kitten opening its arms with the text “you are too cute”, by Seungri he got a big all caps Thank you, but of course it didn’t stop there, it was Seungri and he didn’t seem to be happy unless he at least did his best to embarrassed Namjoon a little.

The difference was that the way Seungri did it, it never felt like he was trying to make Namjoon the butt of a joke or anything like that, it was just teasing between friends. This time what Namjoon got was a cheeky message.

**From Seungri BigBang:**   
_Ji said to tell you that it is some very impressive nail marks you have managed to make on my shoulders, I did wonder what it was that stung so much when I showered, impressive xD Rwwww :)_

All Namjoon could get himself to send back was a blushing smiley, the thought of G Dragon of all people seeing the marks he had left of Jiyong while having sex with Seungri was really embarrassing. Even if Namjoon kinda didn’t find it embarrassing anymore to think about the fact that he had indeed had sex with Seungri and Daesung of Big bang.

Cause that wasn’t who they really were anymore for Namjoon, they were just Dae and Ri, Dae who liked overly complicated smileys from Japan and Seungri that could have a conversation in stickers, Ri who could answer so many of Namjoon questions when they had nothing to do with Kpop, cause he did so much outside of it.

Jaehyo had sent Namjoon a teasing smile when he saw the text but didn’t tease him about it, just lied his head down on his shoulder “I am glad you have them to look after you like this, you deserve it.”

“You don’t find it weird?” Namjoon had been a little self-conscious about it, the fact that idols like that took interest in him.

Jaehyo just shrugged “not really, I am just glad they didn’t put their bid into courting you, I feel like non of the rest of us would have a chance if they did that,”

Namjoon knew that Jae was just teasing him, but to be honest he hadn’t even thought about the option for Big Bang to be courting him, it just seemed… Like a dream, he would have while young, even tho he had made friends with almost all of the members, he wouldn’t even dare to entertain the thought of joining their pack.

He was actually pretty sure that it was the dream of pretty much everybody when they first joined up as an idol, and Namjoon hadn’t been any different.

“Shut up,” Namjoon knew he was whining while saying it “they don’t think of me like that.”

For a second it seemed like Jaehyo wanted to keep teasing him, but in the end he didn’t do it, instead he just cuddled closer to Namjoon “you are still so cold” adding a few seconds later when he realized how he came off “I mean physically, I noticed it last time you were working with Jiho and I was trying to hug you. Even tho you were wearing two hoodies and a long sleeve shirt, you were still so cold.”

Namjoon looked a little sad as he answered: “is a side effect of anorexia, it is slowly getting better, but it will take a while before it completely adjusts and there is a change that it is never going to be as good as a normal person.”

“Don’t say that you are normal, you have struggled with an eating disorder, doesn’t mean you are abnormal or anything like that.”

While Namjoon hadn’t meant it like that, it was still a nice comment “thank you, for accepting me so easily and wanted me the best.”

Jaehyo didn’t answer, he just smiled and cuddled Namjoon closer “sleep now, you wanted to go and see Jiho and Kyung as early as possible you said, they are sleeping in the studio anyway.”

At that, both of them just cuddled up and let sleep pull them under easily, that was what had lead to Namjoon waking up with drool on his bare chest, and quickly turning off his alarm before it could ring out loud, he didn’t want to wake up Jaehyo, the omega looked so relaxed and sweet in his sleep, as he looked around turned out he wasn’t the only one awake, but unable to get himself to wake his sleeping partner.

Close to them was Jihoon and Taeil, Taeil was sprawled on top of Jihoon like he had been on the couch, he kinda looked like he was trying his best to completely cover Jihoon with his own body, a goal that would be pretty hard with their size difference.

Jihoon was staring down at Taeil, with one of the softest facial expression on his face, he wasn’t even noticing that Namjoon was awake as well, his entire world seemed to be zoomed in on the tiny beta on top of him.

He was lightly letting his fingertips run over Tails facial features like he was trying to memorize them with his hands, Namjoon couldn’t get himself to interrupt them to get up, it was one of the sweetest things that he had seen. Since he was being courted by the packs, he didn’t often get to see moments like this between members of the already existing pack.

Namjoon wasn’t blaming them, he knew that they all just wanted to make a good impression on him, and he wasn’t gonna lie and say that he didn’t enjoy the attention, but this was nice as well, it was so nice to see the love between members. It also showed that age really didn’t matter that much the older you got, Jihoon might be the maknae and Taeil the oldest, but it didn’t matter at that point, they were just two people loving each other and the rest of their pack.

Namjoon wanted that one day, waking up every morning with the same people, he wasn’t sure if he would rather want to be Jihoon or Taeil at that moment, but it really didn’t matter if he was honest, all he really wanted was to be loved and to love.

Only a month ago, he had no hope that he would ever get to have this, any of this, but now… Namjoon actually believed that it might be an option that he could have this as well, he wasn’t sure who he would have it with, maybe it would be Block B, maybe it would be him looking at Taeil, Namjoon wasn’t sure… but maybe.

Namjoon nodded off for another 30 minutes, not wanting to interrupt them, and when they woke up again, he was alone in bed, a plushie sitting right next to him and a sticky note on it “Yukwon, Minhyuk, and Jihoon are at the gym, Taeil and me are in the kitchen getting food, come join us? <3”

It was kinda cute that Jaehyo seemed to understand that Namjoon would feel sad and worried waking up alone, and he had instantly removed that fear and Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from hugging the plushie close trying to keep in the giggling, but failing.

He only giggled a little when he went to grab the cloth he had laid out for the day, the hoodie he was planning to write had been changed out with a little note “It wasn’t me who stole it! Okay, maybe it was… Swap?”

Namjoon knew who the hoodie belonged to before he even put it to his nose, Jihoon. He was kinda impressed with how quickly the youngest beta was growing on him, Jihoon was one of the people he knew the least before and he seemed to be aware of it since he was putting in overtime to get to know Namjoon.

He happily pulled on Jihoon’s hoodie over the most comfortable pair of jeans he had, he felt like if he had to go and have an important talk with Kyung, it was probably still the best to actually wear real trousers instead of sweats.

Breakfast was a nice affair after that Namjoon called his manager to ask if he was needed to go into the BigHit offices or anything that day, where he was pointing got told to stay the fuck away.

So okay Namjoon might have been told to work at 10% while recovering, but being himself and afraid to fall behind, he had still worked a lot, which meant he was actually ahead of the schedule, and he was still caught off from dance practice.

The good thing about Namjoon’s hospital situation had been so public was that most of their fans were very understanding with Namjoon, and especially if he was behind on dancing. Not that he was any good to start with, but he was getting pretty good at pretending!

Thinking of dancing made Namjoon remember that he had a ‘date’ with Seokjin in a few days, it had been almost cute to him how Seokjin had a video called him right after his heat when Namjoon had accepted the call all he was greeted with was a video call of a dog.

It had turned out to be Seokjin’s dog that he had gotten from TVXQ, at first Namjoon had questioned it a little, until he had seen Seokjin hug the dog close and explained that it was good for people with anxiety like himself.

It had been one of the first times that Namjoon had heard the beta actually admit his issues, so when Seokjin had asked if Namjoon wanted to meet in a weeks time to walk his dog and then go and get some food, there was no chance that Namjoon was gonna say no… Plus he loved dogs.

Namjoon was a little bit more himself at that point, he could still feel the postheat softness in him, but he still felt more like an actual working and functioning person instead of just a giant marshmallow that he had recently, which might mean that he would get some actual work done.

After his heat, all he felt like writing about was soft shit, and it had actually lead to him texting Wonshik from Vixx since the older omega was the person who was an omega and wrote a lot like himself that Namjoon actually knew the best.

Turned out it was actually just an omega thing, leaving Namjoon whining to himself that it wasn’t fair!

When Namjoon arrived at the Block B companies building, he was quick at finding Jiho’s studio, he had been here so many times over the years that to be honest, he could probably find it as easily as his own.

As he stood in front of the door he was a little hesitant to actually knock on it, he knew what he was gonna say, he knew what to do, but still…

He raised his hand to knock, then let it drop, raised it again, and then dropped it, he stared at the door a little annoyed, damn why was this so hard? It was Jiho and Kyung, goddamn it, he knew these people!

When he raised his hand again to knock, he just let it hang there, pouting a little, he could do this! But he didn’t get the time to do it, when suddenly two skinny arms wrapped around his middle and somebody placed their head on his shoulder “hey pretty, are my door that offensive to you?”

The voice was soft spoken into his ear as somebody nuzzled his neck, clearly taken in both his scent and the scent of Jihoon that was still on him, Namjoon knew that he should be surprised, but he couldn’t get himself to actually be it instead of leaning back into the person behind him… leaning back into Jiho.

“You smell nice,” Jiho sounded content nuzzling Namjoon’s neck “much better than in the hospital, your scent is nice and clear, plus everybody has left a little bit of scent still on you, I can clearly smell both Jihoon and Jaehyo, it’s nice… you smell like home mixed with yourself. It’s a good fit for you.” yeah there was no doubt about it, Jiho sounded like a cat that had gotten into the cream bowl.

“It’s good to see you as well, I feel a lot better as well,” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from just closing his eyes a little and enjoy Jiho so close to him, it had been so long time since they had been like this, it hadn’t been since Namjoon was 18, after he ended up not presenting, Jiho had at first pulled back a little from their friendship closeness, for some reason that Namjoon still didn’t know.

But even after it had returned to normal, Jiho hadn’t been as touchy with Namjoon as the omega knew that was in his nature, but Namjoon knew why that was tho. Jiho was trying to be respectful, the beta thought that he had a presented as a dud, and duds didn’t enjoy or want closeness or cuddles like a presented person was, and Jiho always the pleaser didn’t want to push himself on Namjoon, plus he knew that Namjoon didn’t have it in him to push away Jiho if he wasn’t actually comfortable with it.

“I assume you are here to talk with Kyung?” well that destroyed the idea of beating around the bush.

“Yeah, I thought it was the best that I went to him to talk about it instead of waiting for him to get to me.”

Namjoon could feel the older nodding into his neck as an agreement “I knew the rest would tell you in the end, well tell you something was wrong, I assume you didn’t let them tell you what was wrong?”

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, just enjoying the familiar scent of Jiho behind him, the sweet scent of fig, it was so well fitting for Jiho with its many layers. Depending on the olders moods, it could be like a fresh fig, a grassy green type of scent with a sliver of spice that at times could remind him of coconuts, but when he was really content, finally having finish a song and gotten to relax that was when Jiho’s scent was the best, it would be sweet and syrupy, much more fruity than a fresh fig, instead smelling of served figs like a marmalade. It was so fitting for Jiho, cause just like his scent, Jiho was the best him when he was relaxed, loose and smiling after finishing some good work.

“Of course I didn’t let them tell me, you know me so well, I want to speak to him about it, I don’t want to ambush him in a conversation where I have all the cards, that wouldn’t be right.” he lightly slapped at Jiho’s hands as they were trying to glide under Namjoon’s hoodie to get a peek at the soft skin under it “behave!”

The thing was… Namjoon knew that Jiho didn’t mean it in a sexual way, he did this the same way Jackson and Himchan always did it to him, it wasn’t to feel Namjoon up, well at least not in a sexual way.

It was to see if they could feel his ribs and to feel closer to him.

Namjoon had a hate-love feeling about it that was almost gone, back then, he felt like he had to do everything for them to not notice how much weight he had lost, but at the same time he also desperately wanted their touch, he had been so touching starved that little touches like that meant so much to him.

Especially from Jiho and Himchan, he knew back then that his scent was putrid and really off-putting for them, but they still put that away for Namjoon, he wanted and needed those touches, but he felt like he couldn’t accept them because he had the stuff to hide.

Now he just let himself enjoy them, but he also knew that if he allowed Jiho to do it, he would get damn distracted, he still loved the touches, and he didn’t need to hide anymore.

Namjoon could feel a light kiss being placed on his neck, “you are no fun, and damn right I know you, better than most people.” he snuggled a little closer to Namjoon’s neck, the place that Daesung had bit during his heat “I can still smell Daesung-hyung on you… It’s kinda nice, to know they took good care of you.”

“I have you to thank that they even knew of me and what had happened, I owe you a lot.”

“No… You owe me nothing, we are friends… maybe one day more… this is not some kind of, I do something for you, you do something for my relationship, that is not how I ever want our relationship to be.” Jiho sounded almost sad, Namjoon still found it funny that Jiho was actually so soft when he left the Zico persona on stage and just relaxed around people he trusted.

“You know what I meant, stop being so dramatic.” there was no real heat in Namjoon’s voice, and it was clear for both idols that he was just teasing Namjoon, but that didn’t change the fact that Jiho pouted.

“I just wanted to make sure that you knew, you and me… we need a talk later, I owe you an explanation don’t I? For what happened when you reached 18, Youngbae-hyung made that very clear.” oh yeah… Namjoon had completely forgotten that he had actually told Youngbae about it, it was so easy to just open his heart to Youngbae that he often forgot it, he was just so easy to trust.

He nodded “yeah, but that is gonna have to wait, Kyung is more important right now,”

Jiho finally removed his arms from around Namjoon “yeah I guess you are right, let’s go and wake sleeping beauty, he was napping when I went to get something to drink, that was when Namjoon noticed the convenience store bag on the ground next to Jiho.

“Well, he could have gotten to sleep in a soft bed, if he wasn’t being himself.”

Jiho shrugged as Namjoon turned around to look at him and shrugged “yeah, but would any of us really want him any other way than this? Other than just being himself.”

“No, Kyung is amazing cause he is himself, doesn’t stop me from being frustrated,” Namjoon could feel himself easily slipping back into the Rap Monster, a proud leader who had control persona, he felt like he needed it for this conversation, it was time for him to stand up for himself. He couldn’t and wouldn’t want to be somebody else, he knew that he had acted differently up until this moment, but… that wasn’t him.

Yes he was Kim Namjoon and not Rap Monster, he was a lot softer and needed a lot more cuddles and love off stage than on stage, but he wasn’t somebody to just be pushed around either, he had to stand up for himself and for other people as well, that was who he was.

And right now Kyung was being himself and overthinking everything, trying to protect Namjoon for something that was probably stupid, so it was time for Namjoon to stand up for both of them… or god knows they would never get anywhere “yes… Let’s go and wake him up.”

Namjoon could do this, he couldn’t just let other people stand up for him all the time and rely on them… He wanted what Daesung had with Big Bang, he wanted to be an omega who could stand up for himself… Because it was okay to be that person, he was NOT defined by his subgender.

Well, at least Namjoon hoped he wasn’t, even if he would learn soon… That some scars were deeper than his upper level of conscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I took a few questions about Yoongi on my twitter, and here are the answers to them, no off the spoilers are about the future of the fic, but reveals some of Yoongi's past
> 
>  **IS HE GETTING BETTER?**  
>  Yes he is indeed! Don’t worry he is slowly getting better!
> 
>  **DOES HE REALLY LOVE HIS BETAS EVEN THOUGHT HE KINDA NEGLECTED THEM?**  
>  He does indeed, but he doesn’t really know how to show it, alpha packs don’t have betas so Yoongi is inside himself having two fighting parts, one part that is just him that doesn’t see two betas but sees Taehyung and Seokjin, and a part that doesn’t see a need for betas.
> 
>  **Where is he?** and **Is he also staying with a friend(s) who can help him the way everyone else is doing? I mean I know that’s on his part a lot of his issues are things he has to work through on his own but I hope he also has a shoulder to lean on throughout this like everyone else does**  
>  Yoongi is staying with Supreme Boy, he is a producer for BTS and was suppose to be part of the group and was close to Yoongi as they were trainees.
> 
>  **Why did his family pack let him go?**  
>  They didn’t, he was kicked out for being too soft.
> 
>  **Did he love Namjoon?** and **how does he feel abt namjoon**  
>  Yoongi did love Namjoon in his own way, Namjoon is one of his oldest friends in BTS, but he also wasn’t good at showing this, and it came out as being very possessive, think of how he was cutting Namjoon of from his friends, this is unhealthy possessiveness coming from an unhealthy way of love.
> 
>  **Was there a trigger that caused his past to overwhelm him? It seemed as if in the beginning BTS wasn't so broken but when everybody presented it went downhill fast.**  
>  The real point of no return was Jungkook presenting, that was when stuff got really bad, with Jungkook’s already very strong alpha reactions, Yoongi dealt with his rut the only way that he knew, the way that he had seen his family do.  
> After that Jungkook’s hormones got even worse, and Yoongi felt threatened to his position as an pack alpha, not only was Yoongi badly abused by his family, he was also often called and seen as a weak alpha who didn’t deserve his position.  
> But Yoongi’s main issue is still that he hasn’t talked to anybody about it, and have denied professional health up until this point.  
> And that almost torture he went through from his family pack, was just allowed to sit in the back of his mind and slowly grow on him.


	82. Keeping up with Taehyung [Last Part]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A TAEHYUNG CHAPTER!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very late, but finally!

Taehyun was quick at grabbing a bathrobe in that was hanging on the wall, it was clear to him that being naked was very much not appropriate for the conversation that they were about to have, “it’s going to be okay baby,” he crouched down to gather Taehyung face between his hands. **  
**

But Taehyung wasn’t having it, he shook his hands almost desperately “no, it’s all my fault! We abused an omega and I didn’t stop it!”

At that point the Winner omega was worried that Taehyung was going to have a panic attack, he was starting to borderline hyperventilate, “please you need to calm down a little, then we talk about it and find a solution, have any of us ever let you down, I promise we are going to find the solution for this.”

Taehyung couldn’t even stop the tears from streaming down his face “Yoongi hit him! Jungkook order him! We are monsters! I am a monster!”

“You didn’t do any of this Taehyung, this isn’t your fault,” they had all wanted Taehyung to realize how bad BTS was, not only to Taehyung himself but also to each other, but this wasn’t the way they had wanted it to go down. This was not how any of them had wanted it to happen.

“I might not have done it! But I stood by and let them do it,” the look in Taehyung’s eyes were almost wild and Taehyun wasn’t sure what to do, all he could do was crawl closer to Taehyung on the cold bathroom tiles and hug the younger close.

“We can talk about this, we can find a solution.” his words had a desperate tone of voice.

The desperation in Taehyun’s tone forced the beta a little out of the headspace he was in, while he was overwhelmed and angry with himself, the mild panic, worry and desperation was enough to get him to react, take a few deep breaths and start to actually explain what had happened “I woke up… and Hansol was sleeping next to me, he smelled really nice and the heat was clear in the air, but it was also clear that he was sated and happy that it would be a while before the next wave, and I realized something. I have never had that with Jimin, and I don’t know if I ever will have.” Taehyung sighed, and he finally reciprocated the hug that Taehyun was giving him.

Taehyun on his part knew better than to interrupt Taehyung now that he finally had gotten him talking, but that didn’t mean that what was being said didn’t make him feel sad. While yes the WinKon pack had been fucked up and non of the omega’s that weren’t hard had gotten the respect they deserved, but they had never been forced to spend their heat with just Bobby, everybody had been part of heats and ruts.

That was actually some of the happiest memories that Taehyun had with his old pack.

The BTS beta continued his telling “I have been thinking about Jimin a lot since we left the hospital, he always had it so hard, being the only omega after I failed being an omega. And it all just became to much for me, and then I was thinking about Namjoon and how we treated him. How we let each other treat him! How did it go so badly, how did we become this way, we were so afraid of talking to each other that we slowly became monsters, how could we just do that? He is our leader,” Taehyung looked away from Taehyun to just stare into the air deep in thought “when I presented… When I failed, I went to Namjoon, cause when stuff goes wrong I trust Namjoon, not cause of his sub gender, but because he is Namjoon. He is my leader, and we were so cruel to him.”

“I am sure you didn’t mean it like that, I am sure that Namjoon understands.” Taehyun wasn’t so sure of it actually, but he couldn’t let Taehyung see that now. He didn’t know the full story of what had happened to Namjoon, he didn’t know him very well.

Taehyun had always been focused on Taehyung, so he hadn’t really noticed what had happened to any other of the BTS members, the most important person to him had been Taehyung.

“That the entire problem,” tears were falling down Taehyung’s cheeks again “I saw him in the hospital, he isn’t mad at us, he should be, but he isn’t. He doesn’t believe we did something wrong. We fucked him up so badly that he can’t see that he should be angry with us.” the omega wanted to point out that Namjoon wasn’t the only person like that, that Taehyung was like that as well.

While it was good that Taehyung was realizing the bad things they had done to Namjoon, but this was spiraling out of control, this wasn’t a long conversation meant to heal everybody.

“Baby I know that what happened wasn’t great, and yes you might have taken part in this, but you were just as helpless as Jimin was in this. I know you, you never wanted to hurt any of them, but you are also a person pleaser, you did what Yoongi said cause you trusted him, you trusted your pack alpha.” Taehyun knew that he was good at sticking his foot in his mouth, and he wish that it was anybody other than him sitting here, somebody who could actually talk Taehyung down.

But he also knew that as much as he might have wanted that, it wasn’t an option at that moment, it was up to him to help Taehyung the best he could.

Taehyun himself wanted to cry when he finally made Taehyung look at him again, the beta looked so destroyed tears were still running down his cheeks, and back in his mind he reminded himself that he needed to get Taehyung to drink something after this was all over, so he wouldn't get dehydrated from crying.

“You don’t get it, this could all have been avoided if I had been an omega! If I hadn’t failed! If I had been an omega, Yoongi wouldn’t have been so protective over Jimin being the only omega in the pack, and if Yoongi hadn’t gotten back to acting like his family pack did, then he would never have had that incluence on Jungkook! Then he wouldn’t have had scared Hoseok, and as an omega I could have given Seokjin the attention he needed! So he wouldn’t have been so lonely.” Taehyung looked away from the omega again, like he couldn’t stand to look at him.

The worst part was that Taehyun knew that it wasn’t cause Taehyung was angry with him, but because he was ashamed of himself, non of them knew how to get Taehyung to accept that he couldn’t blame himself for not being an omega, that he was fine as an beta and he didn’t need to be an omega. That he was loved and beautiful as an beta, and he didn't need to change, that he didn’t need to be an omega.

All he could do was hug Taehyung close, “You can’t do anything about any of that now, but baby what about we call Seokjin? You said that you felt he needed more attention than he got, you don’t need to be an omega for that, all you need to be is your lovely self.” it hurt pushing Taehyung into the arms of BTS, but Jihoon had said that it was the best thing they could do.

That if they really loved him, they would do what was best for him.

Taehyung shook his head which was buried in Taehyun’s shoulder “No, he needs real attention! I am just a beta.”

“Isn’t Seokjin a beta as well?” god it hurt so much to hear Taehyung talk about himself like that, the worst part was that the omega knew that Taehyung didn’t mean to be disrespectful to all beta’s it was really just about himself he meant it.

“But Seokjin was meant to be a beta! He is a good beta!” Taehyun tried to calm the younger Tae down by running a hand through his hair.

“You are good beta as well baby,” it had been so natural for him at that point to call Taehyung by small pet names, it had started friendly, but later it was one of the few ways that Taehyun could actually express his love without saying it out loud of really show it.

“No!” god he really wasn’t doing well in the trying to calm Taehyung down, he seemed to make him more upset than anything. God, why did he have foot in mouth syndrome?

Seokjin.

That was all Taehyun could think to solve it, he could call other people from Seventeen, but there were multiple reasons that it wasn’t the most optimal option, one it would ruin Hansol’s heat.

There was no damn way in hell that Hansol or any of the people would be able to ignore this if they knew what was happening, the in heat omega had a weak point for betas. And they were all so overprotective when it came to Taehyung, and could you really blame them?

BTS had given them all the reasons in the world to wanna wrap Taehyung up in a blanket and never let him go again, but that actually related to the reason that Seokjin was the best option.

“Where is your phone baby, do you have it on you.” Taehyung had swapped back into his cloth into of embracing the naked body like Taehyun had done, which was probably good, it might not be the best thing to cry in, plus it would be really cold for Taehyung’s ass on the cold bathroom floor.

Well saying that Taehyung had changed into his own cloth would have been a lie, while yes those sweatpants were probably his own, the shirt very much wasn’t, but the clear rose scent and how much to big in the shoulders it was signaled that the hoodie very much wasn’t somebody from Seventeen’s either.

Taehyun didn’t have all of the BTS scents stored in his memory, but the scent smelled very beta so he was almost 100% sure it was Seokjin, it was one of the reasons that Taehyun might have thought that contacting the oldest BTS member might be a good idea.

Plus he liked Seokjin, not in the same way he liked Taehyung of course, but in a ‘you are cool and you deserve better way’, Taehyung sniffled a little still in the omega’s arms, “it’s in my pocket on my stomach,”

Taehyun was quick at fishing it up, while he still kept the other arm around Taehyung as to keep him close, quickly typing in the younger code, yes he knew the code to Taehyung’s phone, they all did, it was the date of BTS’s debut.

As to respect as much of Taehyung’s privacy as much as he could, he found Seokjin’s name, it was under ‘<3<3<3Rose-hyunnie! <3<3<3’ Taehyun almost stopped to awww at how cute that was, but it really wasn’t the right time at that moment.

All he could do was hope that Seokjin would pick up as he called, one ring and nothing, two rings, and nothing, Taehyun could feel the dread settling in his stomach. Please, Seokjin picks up, that was all that was running through his head.

It was no longer about how he didn’t feel that BTS deserved Taehyung or that Taehyung could do better, right now it was about making Taehyung calm down and be comfortable, that was all that was in his mind and he was almost hundred percent sure that Seokjin could do that.

Finally, at the fourth ring, the phone was picked up “Tae?” the voice was groggy like the answer had just picked up, oh… Taehyun hadn’t even thought about what time it was and that most normal people would be sleeping at the set time.

The two Tae’s were close enough to each other that they could hear both hear Taehyung on the other end, the voice of the older beta was enough to make Taehyung pick up a little “Jinnie?”

God Taehyun hoped that he was right about the oldest BTS member and that he was awake enough that he could hear the crying in Taehyung’s voice. Luckily he was correct as the next time Seokjin spoke he sounded a lot more awake “Baby? What’s wrong?”

Some rustling was heard from the other side as it sounded like Seokjin removed himself from the bed he was in, they could kinda hear other tired voices, but a quick push from Seokjin made them go back to bed.

Taehyung was kinda sniffing “I missed you.”

They could almost hear Seokjin go soft on the other side, “I miss you to the baby, are you okay?”

Taehyun thought for a second of leaving the two to talking, but Taehyung had an almost death grip on him and Taehyun was the one holding the phone, so he couldn’t really do that, all he could do was pet Taehyung’s hair while they talked.

“No, I am sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize for missing you pack baby, it’s normal. It’s gonna be hard for all of us, while yes this is an important and good step for us all. We are still going to miss each other, that is only to be expected.” Seokjin’s voice was stable, but still full of emotions as to calm down Taehyung, at the same time he sounded like he actually meant it.

Taehyung shook his head almost violently into the omega’s shoulder “I am sorry for not being good enough! If I had been an omega I could give you the attention you deserve! They all treat you like you aren’t important to the pack! But you are so important, you keep us sane! You and Namjoonie make sure that we actually function as both a group and as a pack, you are the one who takes care of us when we are sick, you make sure we eat and you are there when we need you!

If just I had been an omega, I could give you back what you deserve to form us! I am so sorry, please don’t hate me! I love you so much, I am sorry for being a failure! I love you!”

‘Please don’t crush him now Seokjin,’ that was all Taehyun could think, he had put all his faith in the BTS member, right now, if he crushed Taehyung, if he helped feed into this believe that he should have been an omega, then the former Winner member wasn’t sure that anybody would be able to save Taehyung from himself.

Seokjin… luckily didn’t fail them, “Oh Tae, you aren’t a failure, we needed the second beta just as much as an omega, and baby you are such a good beta, one of the best beta’s, you are so good to us. You don’t need to be an omega for me to love you, I love you so much already. I know that we have some problems, and yes I am not gonna lie, I wish at times that you all would pay more attention to me, but Taehyun. Listen to me for just this second, I have never… NEVER… been in doubt that YOU love me, I know you do baby, and listen to me… I love you! No matter what happens, no matter what goes down in this time that we are spending apart, I love you. Never forget that.”

Taehyung again shook his head, and he just kept repeating “I am sorry, I am sorry,” Taehyun couldn’t hear what Seokjin was whispering back into Taehyung’s ear, he had pressed the phone to the younger ear while rocking him back and forward in his arms.

It seemed to work, as Taehyung managed to half cry himself in sleep while still mumbling he was sorry, as the omega was sure that the other was sleep he took his phone to his ear, “You still there?”

Seokjin’s voice sounded tired and almost aged 20 years over the span of the phone call “yeah, did he fall asleep?”

“Yeah, I am gonna carry him to bed, would you have something against staying on the line. I would like to talk to you if it possible.” Taehyun kept his voice as neutral as possible, he was tired and drained, but he really felt the need to talk to the BTS beta.

“Of course, I feel like we both have a lot to talk about, but do I at least got to know who I am talking with?”

Now that did seem fair, it wasn’t like he could expect Seokjin to know his voice “Taehyun, formerly of Winner, I am being courted and plan to accept being part of the Seventeen pack.” honesty wast he best option there “I have to spend a lot of time with Taehyung while he has been here, he is one of my dearest friends.”

And then something happened that Taehyun didn’t expect, Seokjin said what everybody had tried to avoid “you mean you love him.”

For a second the omega thought of denying it, he thought that he shouldn’t tell Taehyung’s pack how much Seventeen actually loved him… how all of them loved their crazy, sweet, loveable, 4D, box smiling beta…. But… lies and half trues was how everything had ended up so wrong for BTS.

It was time for the truth.

“Yes, I love him… We all do… but we are not trying to take him away from you guys, we both know that doing that would crush him, it would ruin him, you guys are all that can keep happy, so we are never going to tell him it.”

Taehyun expected a lot of different reactions, but none of them was the one he got… instead, he just got a soft sounding “thank you… For loving him and taking care of him when we couldn’t, we all owe you guys so much.”

The conversation with Seokjin was hard on Taehyun’s soul and he was sure it wasn’t easy for Seokjin either, both clearly wished that they weren’t the once that had to do it, but they would step up for people they loved.

The omega ended up having the conversation with Taehyung cuddled to his chest, and he was glad the younger didn’t wake up mid their conversation that would have been awkward. As Taehyun hung up the phone he looked down at Taehyung in his arms, he sighed as he pressed a kiss to sleep idols forehead “it’s going to be okay everything, I promise you, we are gonna get you home safe and happy, we love you… I love you so much, but it’s gonna be okay, cause I rather see you whole and happy with them, than bend and break with us.”

It was the first time any of them had really told Taehyung their feelings for him, of course, the younger couldn’t actually hear him, but it was okay. He felt like he got something off his chest that he had kept there for a while.

He didn’t end up going to the main nest, he knew that Taehyung wouldn’t want to break up what was happening there, and they could both need some sleep.

The rest of Hansol’s heat really well, when Taehyung woke up next morning, he did feel a little dehydrated, but he also felt a little better. He felt like he had gotten everything off his chest, he still wasn’t happy with him not being an omega and still blamed himself, but he felt safer.

He had gotten to tell Seokjin how much he meant for him, they could do this, Taehyung knew that everybody from his pack was working so hard to be a better version of themselves, and he owed it to them to do the same. So he was gonna do this.

Seokjin said he didn’t have to be an omega, maybe… just maybe the oldest was right, maybe they could all figure this out.

It wasn’t fixed overnight, and Taehyung still had more issues than he would even like to admit, and probably more than he even understood that he had, but it was a start.

The next two weeks went on like nothing, everything was great, Taehyung would go to practice, and then come home to the warmth of Seventeen’s arms. He would play around with Hansol and Mingyu, he would go nap with Jeonghan, he would sit next to Jihoon while the other was in the studio, Taehyung happy just sitting on the ground leaning his head on the others lap while playing on his phone, at times getting his hair petted.

Everything was fine, but then everything blew up.

It had slowly simmered under the surface, it wasn’t at purpose, but Taehyung would without thinking about it keep making these little comments about how he should have been an omega, how it would be better when he was.

It didn’t matter when it was with him fooling around with Seungkwan, with the omega wanting to fuck him, but then Taehyung would apologize for not self-lubricating like an omega would.

They would try to give him positive reinforcement, as much as they possibly could, show him that he was loved and he didn’t need to change for them to love him, but it was like it was in Taehyung’s head, like it was part of who he was.

It really shouldn’t be a surprise for anybody who reached the end line fastest, it was Jeonghan, the long-haired omega had a weak spot the size of China for Taehyung, and he was one of the people who had the hardest time to accept everything.

It had all come to ahead when Taehyung had apologized for his scent, seemingly blaming the more beta sound for Jeonghan waking for his nap, which it wasn’t! The reason he woke was cause Mingyu walked like he was a fucking giant, and everything was almost shaking.

“No, this is it.” Jeonghan sat up straight, he was sitting on Taehyung’s lap, he knew his hair was a mess from the nap he had just woken from and he was still blinking faster trying to clear his vision, “this has to stop, I can’t do this anymore, I cant just pretend that everything it’s okay and that I don’t hear everything you say!”

“Hannie what?” Taehyung looked a little scared, Taehyung knew that Jeonghan liked making pranks on people, he had even helped him with a few himself, but he had never been scared of Jeonghan before and what he could do.

The omega was one of the people that Taehyung was the most comfortable with, Jeonghan was soft and pliant, but still had a way of guiding Taehyung when he needed it. Some of Taehyung’s most memorable moments were giant cuddle piles created by Jeonghan for the sake of sleep.

But at that moment it was very different Jeonghan looked scary.

“Don’t Hannie me, we are all pretending that it is actively killing us, we are all trying to be the best we can, but it clearly isn’t working so we are doing it this way. You are perfect the way you are, and I so fucking tired of BTS fucking with your head. It’s their fucking fault that you think you aren’t good enough!” Jeonghan looked crazed at that moment, but he wasn’t yelling that wasn’t Jeonghan’s style when he was actually angry. He was hissing out the words with an underlying tone of anger with everything.

Taehyung could feel himself go rigid “no…” everybody in Seventeen had always made sure to never say anything negative or bad about BTS, they knew that Taehyung loved them more than anything else in the world and nothing could ever change that.

“Yes, it is! They are supposed to love you more than anybody else, but instead of doing that they are making you feel worse about yourself! And it’s not okay, I am so tired of having to pick up the piece cause they treat you like shit!”

Had Taehyung been in the right state of mind to have an argument, or if the argument wasn’t about BTS, then maybe he would have taken like Jeonghan meant it, but that wasn’t the way Jeonghan ended up understanding it “You are tired of me?” Taehyung’s voice was so low and it was shaking and unstable, but then it picked up steam. The beta felt like he was pushed up against the wall, he would always defend BTS, they were his pack and his group and it wasn’t fair what Jeonghan was said.

He forced himself to replace the sadness that he was feeling from Jeonghan being tired at him, he replaced it with anger instead, he wanted to push the omega of his lap, but he also knew it wasn’t fair and he could hurt the other idol, which he refused to do even in anger. So instead he as softly as he could move Jeonghan off his lap “If you are tired of me just tell me to leave!”

“Tae no,” Jeonghan realized at that moment how Taehyung had understood what he had said, it was the omega’s turn to have an unstable voice, but he didn’t get to speak up as Taehyung interrupted me.

“Nobody told you that you had to deal with me! If you didn’t wanna look at me you should just have said so! You don’t know my pack! They are good people, they would never hurt me!” Taehyung was now up, standing on the floor just staring Jeonghan down.

Where Jeonghan had kept his voice at a normal level, just added tons of poison to it, Taehyung wasn’t like that, he was yelling and it was starting to attract attention from other people in the pack around the dorm, “Tae please listen to me!” Jeonghan’s voice was desperate and a little scared.

“I will not! You don’t know BTS! You don’t know them! They are amazing loveable people! Jungkook might have ordered Namjoon and we know that he needs to talk it over and apologize to him, but he has only been an alpha for a few months and he is really trying! Yes he said some things to me and I panicked, but we will talk about it and fix it!”

At here Taehyung was referring to the water incident he had with Jungkook, he had come home to Seventeen scared, rambling about how he didn’t want to lose Jungkook to the water poisoning, it had taken them time to calm him down.

But Taehyung wasn’t done with his yelling argument, “Jimin is amazing, and since I failed he has so much pressure on him for being the only omega, he is pure that we all need! Hoseok has so much love inside him, and I should have helped him talk about his past more, it’s not his fault what happened to him, he is just scared for being an alpha even if doesn’t want to admit it, and I should have helped him with it.”

Again Jeonghan tried to interrupt Taehuyng’s rant, he had this bad idea where this all was going if he didn’t get to stop him, he didn’t actually wanna start a big fight with Taehyung, he was just so sick of Taehyung not understand how important he was, he just wanted Taehyung to realize how loved he was an how he deserved better.

But Taehyung was having non of that as he continued his rant “Seokjin is always there to make sure that we are okay, but I never made sure that he was okay as well! I took for granted how he looked after me, how he loved me, and I didn’t give him enough back!” that left only one BTS pack member and Jeonghan was almost scared what the beta was gonna say about Yoongi “and none of you have even tried to understand Yoongi! He loves me, he really does! But he has more important things to think about, it’s much more important that he pays Jimin attention and look after him!  
He has gone through a lot of stuff and he has done so well with the hand he was given! Without him, there was gonna be no pack! Who else was gonna be pack alpha? Jungkook our baby alpha? Then we would first have had a pack a few months ago! Hoseok? That is afraid of the fact he is an alpha?  
Yoongi wasn’t always like this! I should have noticed that things were going badly! I should have helped him before it gets this bad! It’s my fault! Why don’t any of you get it? It’s all my fault!”

And then it came out, the real thing that Taehyung had kept in so long, the real thing that he blamed himself for, the deep roots of this problem “It’s all my fault! If I had just told them about the ducks dying! Focused more on it! They would all still be alive!”

Taehyung hadn’t even noticed all the tears who had started to run down his face while he was screaming at Jeonghan on the top of his lungs, his eyes widened in panic when he realized what he had just admitted, he slapped his hands up in front of his mouth as if he could stop the words that had come from it before, take them back.

But he couldn’t… He had finally admitted to everything.

“Tae!” Jeonghan was up on his feet, but Taehyung was not having it, everything was too much, and he did what he did best, he ripped himself from the omega before the other could grab him and ran out, pushing Jihoon to the side that was blocking the way out.

He ran out into the late January dark evening rain, without shoes or jacket, leaving Jeonghan, Mingyu, Jihoon, and Chan staring after him. Jeonghan looked so lost and sad, the omega hadn’t meant it like that, he was just stressed and felt so sorry for Taehyung. He just wanted better for his friend “but… I love you.” His hand hanging awkwardly in the air where he had been reaching out to Taehyung who had just run out the door.

Everybody seemed to be frozen in time, not seeming to know what to do, both Jihoon and Mingyu seemed stuck between if they should go help Jeonghan, their pack member, who’s pain they could clearly feel through the bond, or run after Taehyung that they weren’t even sure if they could fine, but they still loved and wanted to be safe.

It was surprisingly Chan who made the decision with them, he had had a fight with Jeonghan earlier in the day, and he felt responsible for how the omega had ended up fighting with Taehyung “Help Hannie, I find Taehyung, I think I am the least biased person and can hopefully talk him down.”

Chan wanted them all to take him seriously as an adult, and he hoped that this proved that he was more than just the maknae, that he could be an adult as well.

He was quick to run out after Taehyung, putting on his own shoes and jacket, grabbing Taehyung’s as well, running out in the cold January night rain. He hoped that Taehyung hadn’t gotten too far away, the beta was too popular of an idol to be outside like this alone and something bad could easily happen, and that wasn’t counting the fact that he could clearly become sick!

Luck seemed to be on Chan’s side, he found Taehyung only two blocks away kneeling next to a building hiding from the rain, even tho how drenched he already was should be a sign that that mission was too late.

Chan sat down next to the older beta, wrapping Taehyung’s jacket around his thin shoulders “I understand running away from Hannie, but you could really hurt your feet.”

“I’m sorry.” Taehyung was sniffling, hiding his face away in his arms “I didn’t mean to yell that loudly.”

“It’s not your fault, I get it Jeonghan can be a lot at times, but he does mean it the best way, he just isn’t always the best with choosing his words.” Chan wrapped his arm around Taehyung pulling the older a little closer, but still giving him space to cry into the arms he had folded around his knees.

Chan was really trying his best to be the manliest and most adult version of himself that he could possibly be, he could do this, he could help Taehyung and prove to everybody he was an adult.

Taehyung sniffled a little “I thought you were his biggest fan, shouldn’t you be singing his praise.”

“We had a fight, that was why he was so up and about when he was talking to him, I am not trying to make excuses for him, he can be a lot, but I feel like it’s partly my fault.” Chan pulled Taehyung a little closer, the older was shaking from the cold.

“He said he was tired of me,” Taehyung couldn’t stop crying even if he wanted to, he knew that he had cried a lot the last few weeks, but this was tears that he has held in for so long, tears for his family “I don’t want him to be tired of me, I want him to like me and to like my pack, I want us both to grow old with our pack and have our kids play with each other.”

“Hannie is overprotective, it’s part of him being himself, the reason me and him had a fight was that I wanted him to see me as an adult,” Chan thought that maybe it wasn’t the best to start the conversation with going hard on with what was wrong. It also hurt hearing Taehyung talk like that, non of this was really fair to anybody.

While he wasn’t in love with Taehyung the same way that most of Seventeen were, he was still fond of the older beta, and it wasn’t fair for anybody, everything would have been so different if they had gotten to Taehyung first, but it was too late now, all they could do was trying to fix what they could and be there when Taehyung needed them.

“Being an adult sucks, you should stay a kid.” Taehyung had finally stopped the tears streaming down his face, but he was still sniffling and the shaking from the cold had gotten worse.

“It might suck, but it’s hard for people to take you seriously as a potential pack mate if they still treat you as a kid, that was what we fought about. That was why he was so quick at firing up about it, he feels that he is losing me, and he might fear the same for you.”

Taehyung looked confused at the Seventeen maknae “why would they lose me? We are always gonna be friends, no matter what happens.”

“Tae… your leader almost died and was forced to be put in the hospital, the only reason he survived was to cause him presenting managed to kickstart his heart when it stopped. That is why people are worried,”

“I am not Joonie tho,” Taehyung shook a little at the thought, he had seen Namjoon in his studio working, the older man was still so skinny and Taehyung almost ran in there and attack him with a hug, but he was afraid he would actually break the older man.

Chan pulled Taehyung a little closer, so the beta was almost completely in his arms, he was a little… a lot… worried about Taehyung being wet and cold “you are right if it was you… you would be dead because you don’t have a presentation to push on you.”

He wasn’t sure if he was speaking out his ass, but he had to try something, he knew of Taehyung’s past “your mum? I don’t think the important part was if she called you omega, beta or alpha, she wanted you to have something to live for, she wanted you to keep pushing on in life. Often… when things like that happen, the kids, they… end up really messed up and a lot don’t make it to adulthood, she wanted you to survive. She would be so proud of you, you have done so well.”

“But I didn’t become an omega like she said.” Taehyung seemed to be all out of tears, he just sounded like he wanted to give up.

“Think about your mum, everything she and your family pack has ever said to you, do you really think that they would ever blame you for not being an omega?” god Chan hoped that he was onto something, this was the closet any of them had been to deal with the real problem, everybody was too scared to hurt him by accident, but they simply didn’t have the ĺuxury of pussy footing around the problem.

This was make or break it if Taehyung could accept this… there was still hope, then they could manage to fix this, if not… there was no helping Taehyung, he would be lost for all of them.

‘Come on Taehyung, you know I am right, we can move past this. We can do this.’ was all the Seventeen maknae could think of.

And then as if a higher force had heard Chan’s wish, Taehyung looked up from the arms he had been hiding his face in “no… mummy would love me anyway, no matter what I became, she once called me her little alpha when I growled at a person who hugged her when I wanted the attention.”

It was the first time Taehyung had really let himself think about his family, for so long, all he could think about when thinking of his family was seeing them slowly die, but that all they were… they had years before that where they were alive and loved Taehyung with all they all had.

They had called Taehyung many different sub-genders over the year, it had been one of the ways that they had teased Taehyung. Taehyung himself had made up his own subgender, when he was very young he had said he wanted to be a duck zeta, which he wasn’t even sure what was, but it was okay.

Taehyung leaned his head on Chan’s shoulder “You are right… why couldn’t I see it before? mummy wouldn’t care, mummy loves me no matter what way I am.”

Chan could feel the tense feeling letting go of him, finally letting him breathe right, he knew that saying what he had said to Taehyung was a gamble, but it was a gamble that was needed, and it seemed like it had worked out.

That was the thing, none of them had ever talked like this to Taehyung, almost forcing Taehyung to look at his past, to his own memories. They were just a mix of kids and very young adults, all they had wanted to do was hug Taehyung close and save him from his own memories, they wouldn’t ever want to push this on him, and Taehyung had hidden everything from BTS.

It was kinda insane that the person who ended up being the one to force Taehyung to face things head on was the youngest, the maknae, the only one who hadn’t presented yet, “you blocked it out, I read about that once, you didn’t think you could deal with thinking about it , so you just blocked it out so you didn’t have to.”

“Mummy would be so mad with me if she saw me,” Taehyung looked at Chan and for the first time since this entire thing started, he looked like he actually had some kind of hope again “thank you, for talking to me… for saying things I didn’t want to hear. I was so angry, with myself.”

“So… being beta is okay now?”

Taehyung’s laughter was ringing a little hollow “No, I still… It wasn’t just mummy, it was everything. I think I am going to be okay now, but right now, I still want to be an omega, but I think… I finally got what everybody was trying to show me, I can still be loved even tho I am a beta. You were all so nice to me,”

Chan wanted to say that it was cause they loved him, but he knew everybody would be angry with him, and it really would be pushing his luck, so he went it “that is what friends does for each other, you have helped us as well, wanna go back now? I think you are going to get sick if you don’t… Actually, I already think both of us are going to get sick, on the bright side we are gonna get babied and cuddled, so that is on the bright side.”

At that Taehyung nodded, standing up “you are right, I’m sorry that you had to chase me down like this. I just… I didn’t want to realize what I had said, and I don’t like fighting with anybody, but especially not Jeonghan, I love Jeonghan.”

The worst part was that Chan knew that the beta meant it as in ‘I love him as a friend’, but it didn’t stop his heart for bleeding for Jeonghan, for all of them, “ fighting is never funny, let’s head home.”

When they got home, it went pretty much as predicted, they suddenly had almost 10 pulling them inside, mildly scolding them while pulling off their cloth and getting them dried off so they didn’t get sick.

It seemed like everybody could sense that it wasn’t the time to question what had happened while the two had been outside, and it wasn’t the time to talk about the fight. Well that was what was first gonna happen, but as Taehyung was helped into new warm cloth he spotted Jeonghan, the omega was keeping on the outside of the circle of people helping Tae and Chan, it was clear that he was holding himself back from doing what he really wanted to do, he wanted to help and check that the two were okay, but he didn’t know if it was okay.

Now that was not gonna work.

Taehyung understood now that Jeonghan was just scared that he wasn’t going to be okay, plus if Chan had spoken the truth those two had already been fighting and Jeonghan hated fighting, especially with his ‘baby’, which yeah okay Taehyung could actually see why Chan wanted to be taken more seriously and seen more like an adult.

He still felt a little stiff as he pushed himself through the people around him to reach Jeonghan, who looked a little surprised and scared for what Taehyung was gonna do, not that the beta could really blame him for that, he had yelled on top of his lungs last time they talked, and then ran away.

He put his hands on either side of Jeonghan’s face “I am not mad at you, I shouldn’t have yelled… While I still don’t believe that you understand me and my pack right, but you were just worried about me, and I need to accept that I am a beta. I… mum would be disappointed in me if she saw me now, not cause I was a beta, but because how I am acting, I see that now. I was just… trying not to think about them, you were right.”

For a second nobody in the room was moving, you would be able to hear a pin needle hit the floor, but then tears that Jeonghan had been holding in was finally freed from his tear ducts as they started sliding down his cheeks, Taehyung got a little scared that he had overstepped, but Jeonghan just grabbed him and hugged him close “I was so scared that I had pushed you away from us, I am so sorry.” Oh… it wasn’t sad tears, it was happy and relieved tears.

Taehyung let his hand glide into the omegas long hair and hugged him close as he once again could feel his own tears releasing. It was almost impressive that he still managed to have tears to cry, but for once, they weren’t sad. He was just overwhelmed and he was always quick to crying when somebody else was crying and Jeonghan meant so much to him, they all did… all of Seventeen and Taehyun, they meant the world to him, after his pack they were the people that meant the most to him “Please don’t be sad, you just wanted to take care of me, I was just so blind, I wouldn’t know what to do without you… without all of you, you all have so many patients with me.”

Jeonghan’s arms around him tightened as he hugged Taehyung closer “I am just so worried about you.”

“I know, it’s okay now… I still have a long way to go… But it’s gonna be okay now I promise.” Taehyung felt other arms join Jeonghan’s around him as he found himself in the middle of a group hug by pretty much all of Seventeen.

Taehyung did his best to live up to his words after that, he spent more time with Jisoo and Seungcheol after that, not as much learning as observing how they were in harmony with their inner subgender and what they did for their pack, it also made Taehyung realize something.

He was needed in BTS as a beta, yes while they needed another omega, they were a pack that couldn’t deal with just having one beta, betas were balance and while they weren’t strictly needed to actually create a pack it was very hard to be a pack without having betas.

Two weeks after Taehyung and Jeonghan’s argument, he was feeling a lot better with himself and he ended the first day holding Jimin back after dance practice, as the two were left alone in the practice room Taehyung hugged him close “I am sorry for not supporting you the way you needed me, I am gonna do my best to support you not just as your packmate… But as your friend and beta as well.”

The truth was that after Taehyung had presented the two had a slightly strained friendship, while it was clear that the two still loved each other, that Jimin wasn’t really sure how to be around Taehyung like he was afraid that Taehyung was jealous of him because he was an omega, and maybe… just maybe Jimin had felt slightly guilty over it.

Jimin hesitated for a second, but then he almost crushed Taehyung as he hugged him back, while Taehyung might be a lot taller than the omega, Jimin was much stronger than Taehyung could ever dream of being “I am so glad to have you back.”

And that was when the second part of the realization hit Taehyung, he hadn’t been himself since he presented had he? It had been two years, and it was like he had lived in his own little world.

“I’m sorry for being like that, I just needed to get my head out of my ass… I uhm… I have some things I would like to tell you… about what happened to my family pack, I have been trying to hide it from everybody, but I think it’s about time I tell you.” Taehyung had tried to keep it in for so long, he had tried to hide everything away, it was Jihoon who had recommended that Taehyung actually told his pack about his past.

Jimin looked almost shocked “really? You are… ready for that? You don’t have to if you aren’t ready, you know we love you, even if we haven’t been good at showing it, while I have been with Exo I realized that we didn’t really deserve you and Seokjin, beta’s are so important and we haven’t shown you it enough.  
I know it isn’t an excuse… But I was always afraid to show that I was happy just showing that I loved you as our beta and it was enough, I was afraid that it would make your feelings worse.”

For Taehyung it was clear that Jimin actually did care about him, and was okay with Taehyung as a beta, he didn’t need Taehyung to be an omega, he bowed down a little to press his lips against Jimin’s, the two sharing the first kiss in awhile, a kiss that Taehyung knew meant a lot more than just a press of lips.

The talked after that, and Jimin told what he could about Exo, everybody in the kpop world knew that Exo had some issues, but it wasn’t something people liked to talk about in fear it would get back to SM and make it worse for the idols.

Jimin was… better, Taehyung watched in joy as Jimin talked animated about sitting on the counter in the kitchen while Junmyeon cooked just talking to the beta getting fed small pieces of food while chatting, dance practice with Jongin and surprisingly SHINee’s Taemin, one of Jimin’s idols, and then getting post dance food.

Taehyung knew that Jimin had bad body image issues, and after seeing Namjoon slowly recovering from the eating disorder that had almost ruined his body and killed, Taehyung had promised himself that he would look out for Jimin more since it was clear that the youngest BTS omega was going the same way, but it seemed he didn’t have to worry somehow Exo had actually managed to help Jimin, and when Jongdae showed up to take Jimin home with a small Taehyung almost wanted to attack the soft alpha with hugs.

Seeing Jimin so calm and happy around an alpha made Taehyung think that there might be hope for their pack, they could do this. They were all changing in the right way and when they got back together, it was gonna be great, they could do this.

They were gonna be a balanced pack, and hopefully… Namjoon would fit with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, this was the last Taehyung chapter!
> 
> Now I will finish Namjoon with Block B and then after that, there will be Jimin with Exo!
> 
> Hopefully I can get the Namjoon chapter out in a few days, but I am having exam period at the moment and I am defending my Bachelor project in 2 weeks ^^


	83. We missed each other, and it makes me worry, Just to know the game, it�s all the same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NAMJOON CHAPTER!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days, I am on a roll it seems!

Kyung was indeed sleeping when they entered the room together, the short idol was sleeping under the worn couch that Namjoon was pretty sure had been there since the day Jiho got the studio, a jacket was put over Kyung clearly placed by Jiho when he had left the room. **  
**

For a second Namjoon just took the time to just look down at Kyung, the older looked so relaxed sleeping there, but he also looked worn out, like he hadn’t gotten enough sleep “he has been worried, he is afraid that you are going to judge him, or be angry with him.”

“He is stupid.”

“He is, but you know him, he always worries too much about you,” Jiho was smiling widely.

Namjoon looked almost insulted “you have no right to speak! You have basically needed him to babysit you since you were hardly old enough to put on your own trousers!”

Jiho just shrugged with a grin, he bowed down a little brushing Kyung’s hair away from his face before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead “I will put on my headphones and work so you guys can talk, but I am still gonna be here.”

That actually made Namjoon happier, knowing that Jiho would still be in the room, even if he couldn’t hear what he and Kyung were discussing, just knowing that the older rapper was still there made Namjoon feel better.

“Thank you,”

“Well let’s not think I am so selfless, I want to talk to you as well and don’t think I am satisfied with just the hug I got before, you owe me like 3 years worth of hugs.” that did confirm what Namjoon had already though, that Jiho really had pulled himself back when Namjoon hadn’t presented, probably done some deep googling and read how duds were.

It was both really sweet of the older, but it had also at the time hurt Namjoon, looking back at it tho, it just made more sense than anything else, Jiho would have known that even if Namjoon was uncomfortable with having them close like that, he wouldn’t have said anything, since it was just who he was.

“Do we uhm… have to talk about the past?” Namjoon wasn’t sure if he was up for having a conversation about everything that happened in the underground, he knew that he would have to at some point, but for now he would like a few days just being able to be with Block B, before having to deal with things that he had buried deep inside himself years ago.

Jiho looked a little sad “we don’t have to talk about the underground yet if that is what you think, but we have to talk about what happened when you didn’t present, I think you know what happened, but I think you deserve to hear it from me, cause I am the one that made the decision.”

“You don’t have to say anything, I understand,” Namjoon didn’t want Jiho to push him into a conversation that the other really didn’t seem like he actually wanted to have “I don’t judge you for it.”

“I think there is more to it than you think, and it was partly for a selfish reason, I don’t feel right to court you without explaining to first, it's not something deep and nobody is dying or anything like that, but it just feels better and right doing it this way.” Jiho placed a kiss on his cheek, “now wake him and talk, tap me when you are done.”

With that Jiho went to his mixing board and put on his headphones, but even tho he had left the sweet Fig scent was still hanging in the air keeping Namjoon company, looking back at Kyung, he was almost impressed by how the older was still sleeping sound. You should think that Jiho and Namjoon’s conversation would have woken him up, after all, they hadn’t really been whisper talking.

He crouched down before Kyung, Namjoon searched his mind for everything he could think of Kyung when he woke up, he knew the beta wasn’t good at waking up, he needed slow coaching out of his sleep state, Namjoon reached out to softly run his hand through the olders bangs “Kyungie?”

That seemed to get some kind of reaction from the sleeping idol, which was mostly just a whine, and a clear sound that Kyung didn’t agree with Namjoon’s idea that he needed to wake up now “you are going to ruin your back sleeping on the couch,” Namjoon still kept he hand in Kyung’s hair stroking it, Kyung was one of the more lucky idols who had been allowed to keep his hair a light brown color for a while, leading to his hair being soft with almost no dye damage, something you very rarely saw with Idols.

Kyung came with another sound of displeasure, but he kinda arched into Namjoon’s touch of his hair wanting the petting to keep going “come on, time to wake up Kyungie”

“Just 10 more minutes” it was rare that Namjoon got to hear Kyung being so whiny, but it was a sign of two things, one that Kyung really didn’t like waking up and two that Namjoon expected that Kyung hadn’t slept well.

Kyung always worried too much, and it wasn’t out of the question that this entire thing with Namjoon had lead to his sleep quality is bad, “you can sleep more when we get home, but now it’s time to get up, you are making people including me worried.”

Finally, the olders eyes were slowly being opened up, and deep dark eyes were staring Namjoon down “Joonie? you weren’t supposed to go here,” he still sounded clearly tired, but he was slowly waking up.

“Well you tend to overthink things, and you worried people when you ask them to lie for you, I think you hated lying.” at least Kyung had it in him to look slightly guilty.

“I didn’t want them to lie,” he sat up Namjoon’s hand dropping from his hand as Kyung himself tried to fix the mess that was his hair “I just… I don’t want you to be angry with me, did they tell you why I am kinda hiding here?”

Namjoon just smiled as he sat down on the ground in front of the older, it didn’t feel right to sit next to him he wanted to be able to look him in the eyes… Plus Jiho’s couch was half fallen apart and sunken so there really wasn’t much difference in their height this way “of course not, I wouldn’t want somebody else to tell me your secrets, I care about you… I want the truth from you, not from somebody else” he cocked his head a little to the side “that is if you are willing to tell me what the problem really is?”

Kyung sighed a little “I guess it’s only fair… uhm” he rubbed his eyes as to try and stretch the time before he had to speak “I won’t judge you if you are mad at me after I have told you what is wrong, but please don’t judge anybody else from my pack because of it.”

“What about I stead promise to not even judge you for it?” Namjoon reached out to hold Kyung’s hand that was resting on his knee “everybody who knows what is wrong is so calm about it, so I am pretty sure it is just you overreacting, but this is clearly important to you so I will listen and talk about it, but I am almost hundred percent sure that we are okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you… I know your pack, so I promise you.”  he stroked the top of Kyung’s hand with his thumb.

It was kinda surprising to himself how easy it was to be calm about this, but he knew Kyung and he knew the rest of Block B, if everybody else was so calm about it, there was no way in hell it was as bad as Kyung had made it sound. Namjoon knew this for sure.

Taking one deep breath, as if to prepare himself to rip off a band-aid “it’s about Yoongi.” Namjoon felt himself stiffen up for a second, while he didn’t have the harsh feeling that most of his friends outside of BTS had for the Yoongi, he could still clearly feel and remember the harsh words slung at him from the older and he could clearly feel the slap.

“Okay, what about him?” Namjoon could feel and hear how his voice was less stable now, but he needed to know what Kyung was actually referring to, he had faith in Kyung.

“We used to be pretty good friends... “ Kyung let the words hang in the air for a short time for Namjoon to really take it in before continuing “this was back around 6 months ago, we used to talk a lot together, we had for years since BTS debuted. We had a lot in common, we were early members of the group, plus dealing with you and Jiho is very similar, so we fell into talks and kept a friendship up from that.  
I swear I didn’t know how bad things were with BTS and what he was doing, I could feel how he got worse over time year, but I never thought… it was that bad, I swear. You know how I am not always the best at making friends outside of my group.” he looked so ashamed.

And all Namjoon could say was “Is that… everything? You happen to be friend with Yoongi? Kyung… oh, baby, that is nothing! I thought you were gonna say that you had murdered somebody or something like that, this is just… this is nothing? This is just normal, you are allowed to have friends!” He put Kyung’s much smaller hand between his two, “you over think everything.”

It didn’t seem to calm down Kyung, he looked frustrated, but he didn’t pull his hand back from Namjoon’s just let Namjoon pet it “we kinda grew away from each other the since Jungkook presented, he got a lot busier with his pack and we seemed to have less in common so we just grew apart, but when Jinyoung called Jiho… When we found out everything that had happened, I just… couldn’t stop blaming myself, I should have realized what had happened, it wasn’t like it was a big secret that Yoongi had some strange views, but I just ignored it… I never thought he was treating his pack and you like that!

And now I can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if I had noticed, I could have gotten you out of there! Maybe you wouldn’t have ended up in the hospital, maybe you wouldn’t have had to go through all of this!” It was many many years since Namjoon had seen Kyung looking this much like he was gonna fall apart.

Namjoon wasn’t sure what was the right thing to say, normally he was pretty good with words, but they seemed to have failed him at that time, all he could come up with was the cold hard truth “I would still be seen as a dud then, I only presented cause I had the heart attack.”

Kyung’s eyes went almost comically large staring at Namjoon “please don’t say stuff like that, just thinking that you would be forced to live another day without your subgender is so hard to think about. I wouldn’t want that on even my worst enemy, and especially not on somebody I actually care about.” he seemed to hesitantly turn his hand in Namjoons and then put his spare on top of his “are you sure you aren’t angry with me? I would understand if you were.”

“I am angry with you,” Kyung looked almost scared at those words, but Namjoon was quick at picking up the rest of the sentence “but not cause of this silly thing, I am angry that you would stay here instead of with your pack, this thing is not made for sleeping and you are gonna ruin your back and you clearly haven’t gotten any real sleep.”

“Every time I slept all I could think of was what you were gonna say, everybody including myself was so eager to court you, and the idea that I would have ruined all that is horrible to think about.” That was so Kyung overthinking everything, maybe it was the side effect of growing up with Jiho, Kyung always seemed to think he had to take the blame and shield Jiho for himself and the world, and he seemed to have taken it on himself to do the same thing for both his pack and Namjoon.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling fondly “You can be so smart, but still so dumb at times.” he pulled his hands away from Kyung’s before opening his arms “hug?” to be honest he really just wanted a hug, it was the first time he was this close to Kyung after presenting.

Also… He was kinda eager for Kyung to smell his scent, the two had only ever talked while Namjoon either had no scent and was under 18 or while his scent was rotten. He kinda looked forward to Kyung smelling what he really smelt like, also he kinda… wanted to show the older that he could actually join a pack now, that he wasn’t broken. They had known each other for so long and Namjoon didn’t even realize that it meant so much to him that Kyung would finally see and smell the real him.

Kyung on his part was quick at scrambling off the couch to find his way into Namjoon’s arms, hugging the younger idol “you shouldn’t talk about being smart, but still being stupid!”

He couldn’t stop himself from giggling as he hugged Kyung close, he couldn't really deny it now, could he? He knew that he lately hadn’t always made the greatest choices even tho he was supposed to be one of the smartest idols “at least that means we have something in common doesn’t it?”

Kyung didn’t answer he just hugged Namjoon close, he could almost feel how the older wanted to hug him closer, but Namjoon also knew that Kyung was being careful about him cause of his weight loss and what came from it, at first Namjoon wanted to complain that he wasn’t a porcelain doll and he wasn’t gonna break, but that would be a lie wouldn’t it? He could very well start breaking, so maybe… maybe he should just be happy that Kyung and his other friends cared so much about him, “You smell nice,” Kyung was nuzzling his scent gland taking in the scent “Jiho said you did when he saw you in the hospital, but the way he described it wasn’t even close to being justice for how well you actually smell, it kinda has two tones, fresh cream… like soft and nice, and then fruity peaches to show the other side of you, it is actually the perfect scent for you.” he looked up at Namjoon with a grin on his face “but do you know what makes your scent 10 times better?”

Namjoon just shook his head, not sure what Kyung meant “the fact that your scent is mixed with my pack, it’s… so nice, we know the fact that you don’t know them as well as you know me and Jiho, but smelling them on you is a sign that you guys are all getting along too well and it proves that this could work out.”

“I spend last night and evening with them, it was nice catching up with everybody, and getting to know people more as a pack, I didn’t expect… to fit in so much? I thought it would be more awkward, without any of you guys there.” Namjoon couldn’t get himself to sugarcoat stuff for Kyung that was how they worked.

Kyung shrugged a little “It was always meant that Jiho wouldn’t be there when you got there first, to get the chance to connect with everybody there without me there, I took the chance to do the same, mainly cause I wasn’t ready to have the conversation.”

“You know now that I don’t care right? I don’t judge you for haven been friends with Yoongi, I know that all of you have a very negative view of him, but he isn’t just that, just it looks bad on the surface, but he actually really cares about all of us, that includes me, he just isn’t good at showing it.”

Kyung wanted to argue about it, he wanted to point out that Namjoon was blinded that he was not seeing the reality of what Yoongi had been doing, that Namjoon always had been blind when it came to BTS, but he also knew that it wasn’t the time to have that argument, so he just wrote it behind his ear that they at some time had to deal with Namjoon’s denial, if he refused to see what Yoongi had done was bad, it could lead to having even worse consequences later on. It could end up with Namjoon putting himself in situations that he really shouldn’t, giving Yoongi trust he hadn’t deserved yet and a whole slew of bad things.

Instead, he just hugged Namjoon closer “what about we see if we can get the attention of the workaholic over there, there is something we have to do.”

“Oh?” Namjoon looked a little confused, to be honest, he was happy just hugging Kyung taking in his soft calming scent and even enjoy Jiho’s scent that was still in the air.

“Yeah, certain things are multiple years late.” Kyung’s grin made Namjoon smile and relax as well, he could trust the older.

Kyung used an empty water bottle that was sitting on the ground to throw at Jiho, who turned around looking a little pretty confused about what had been going on, “dude?! Working here?”

“Oh okay, if that is the way we are doing I will just take Namjoon and leave,” that seemed to get Jiho’s attention.

“Nonono, I am done! Two songs wrapped up and waiting for evaluation, I am done!” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from laughing as Jiho, pushing himself away from his table almost managed to end up on the ground as said chair didn’t seem to agree with its violent treatment.

Kyung removed himself from Namjoon’s lap, where he had comfortably placed his much smaller body and signaled for Namjoon to stand up as well “now kiss,”

That leads to both Jiho and Namjoon to stare at the tiny beta like he was going insane, which… knowing Kyung might actually have happened years ago.

“Aw come on,” he looked at Namjoon like he was thinking Namjoon was to slow to get his meaning  “you have wanted to kiss Jiho since you found him sucking of Iron,”

Oh god, Kyung had promised never to talk about that again!

It was 7 years ago! So what had happened was that Namjoon was just 14 and Jiho had been 16, he had been trying to find Jiho since he was supposed to be staying with Jiho after they were done underground, cause Namjoon’s family pack very much didn’t know what he was doing, Namjoon was supposed to be a good kid and student, his family pack would have killed him with love if they found out what he was doing.

Opening a door looking for Jiho, he had found something very different, he had found Jiho between the legs of Huncheol, who would later take the name of Iron, a friend of both of them and rapper.

It took Namjoon about 10 seconds to realize what was going on, all it took was Huncheol throwing his head back with a moan as he buried his hand in Jiho’s hair, Namjoon was so conflicted, they were still under 18, none of them had presented they weren’t supposed to be fooling around like this! It wasn’t right!

It got made worse very quickly as Huncheol looked up at Namjoon, and winked at him before he ran his hand through Jiho’s hair, saying something to the male actively sucking him off, but Namjoon couldn’t hear it and he was quick at getting out of there, hopefully before Jiho noticed he was there.

Namjoon was so confused after that, for multiple reasons, why was Jiho fooling around with Huncheol? They weren’t even close friends! That and the fact that the heat in Namjoon’s body and the blood-seeking south was clearly showing that he was a lot more interested in what he had seen that he would like to admit.

He had avoided Jiho for two weeks after that, and every time he was trying have some ‘me’ time all he could think of was Jiho’s lips and eyes… and everything, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about what Jiho’s lips would feel like if he kissed him.

Namjoon had ended up confessing everything very confused to Kyung, who had just laughed at him hugging him close telling him not to worry about it, it was normal.

“You promised to never tell him about that!” Namjoon was full on body blushing at that time looking slightly ashamed at Jiho “it’s not how you think!”

Jiho was grinning tho “So it was you! I knew that somebody walked in on us! It’s kinda cute! If you wanted a kiss you should just have said so!”

“Well now before you get to full of yourself, I wanna remind you that you pouted for three months after Namjoon became a dud, so I think really stupid pinning goes both ways, now kiss” Kyung was standing with his hands on his hips, and there was no doubt that he was the one in control of what was actually going on here.

Jiho swallowed seeming awkward “is it okay?”

Now Namjoon thought that was a stupid question, hadn’t Kyung just spilled the beans that Namjoon had wanted to kiss him forever! “Of course,”

Both hesitantly took a few steps closer to each other, looking at each other, neither seeming sure who was suppose to move, and what was suppose to happen “oh my god, just kiss Jesus christ!”

Jiho moved a little closer before pressing his lips to Namjoon’s in the most anti-climatic kiss ever, and Namjoon himself couldn’t stop himself from pouting a little when the older pulled away, this was not what he had expected and was probably one of the worst kisses he had ever gotten, and that counted the one Jimin had hesitantly given him the day before his heat, running away from Namjoon after shy over what he had done.

Kyung seemed to be just as unimpressed “nope, that doesn’t count as the first kiss, come on, there is more passion between the two of you, do you wanna court him or do you want him to be your mother?” the last words were aimed at Jiho, he looked a little ashamed himself as he just mumbled ‘court’ as an answer “well then show him that you want to court him, you have about thirty seconds to prove that you want to court him, starting now.”

That made the beta look like he actually meant it this time as he one last time asked Namjoon “you are sure about this?” he had stepped closer to Namjoon at that point, placing his hands a little hesitantly on Namjoon’s hips.

Well, this was not gonna work now, was it? Time for Namjoon to actually do something, time for him to stop being acted upon and started being proactive as he wrapped his arms around Jiho’s neck “yes, and now kiss me.”

That was all he had to say before Jiho’s lips were finally pressed against his in a real kiss, while it was clearly the intent from both of the rappers to keep it soft and sweet, they should also have predicted that it would not happen, there were about 6 years of kept in feelings and lust that came out that that moment, and it didn’t take long for Jiho to pull Namjoon even closer and the kiss to turn much less… pg 13.

Just as Kyung had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anybody say it, I am fully aware of what Iron has done and it is gonna be an important plot point later, he is/was part of Namjoon's rap crew and is one of the reason's Namjoon suppressed his gender, but to why they at this point feel comfortable talking about Iron, cause this story is set two years ago and the abuse case would not have hit news yet.


	84. Difficulty breathing as the whole body trembles, No time left, we have to go, go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late but hey... Better late than never.

Jiho’s hands seemed to have a life of their own as he let them glide down to Namjoon’s thighs instead, Jiho was gonna lie if he said that said thighs hadn’t been part of some non to PG thoughts.

But that was also what seemed to be waking him up, both of them had gotten lost in the kiss, Jiho himself had been busy mapping out the inside of Namjoon’s mouth, but as his hands fell to the youngers thighs, he could feel the still way too skinny thighs, no where close to the gorgeous solid thighs he was used to his friend having.

As he broke the kiss, both were heavy breathing and Namjoon chased another kiss, god Jiho wanted to give it to him so badly, but this wasn’t one of his pack mates, somebody he had slept with before, somebody whos sexual wants and needs he knew inside out, this was Namjoon, they couldn’t just give into this, they needed to talk this over.

“Joonie no, stop.” god it was so hard to say, especially since Namjoon’s scent was heavy in the air mixing with Jiho’s own and even with Kyung’s who was standing close to them.

Namjoon looked confused, not seeming to understand why Jiho was stopping them “what? I thought… What is wrong?”

God Namjoon looked so pretty like this, heavily panting, pressed closed to Jiho and lips kiss swollen and red, “we can’t just do this, we need to talk about this.”

Jiho and Namjoon just stood and stared into each other's eyes, both now understanding, but neither seemed to be able to actually let the other go, something first really happened when Kyung placed a cold hand on both of their necks, “okay, do you wanna tell Namjoon about the real reason why we are courting him? Would that make you feel better?”

Personally, Kyung thought that they should just get this over with, both clearly wanted this, but if they had to do it this way they had to do it, but it didn’t stop Kyung from thinking it was stupid. This was feelings and lust that had been locked up for years, how were they expecting to get anything productive done when Jiho seemed to be unable to move his hands from feeling up Namjoon, and the omega seemed to not be able to stare at Jiho’s lips like he couldn’t think if anything else.

Jiho nodded slowly, still not letting go of Namjoon “yeah, it’s for the best.”

The omega still seemed a little out of it as he tried to focus “what do you mean by that?”

Jiho rested his forehead against Namjoon’s, with them being almost the same height it was an easy way to stand “back when you were almost 18, when we had made our pack… “he stopped for a second, and Kyung had to hold himself back to stop himself from speaking up for Jiho, goddamnit, it was a good thing they were about to tell Namjoon, not that they had killed his dog or something.

“Just tell him, you are making him worried.” Kyung used his hand on Jiho’s neck to softly pet him there, while internally swearing away how tall both of the other males were, he took a second to look at Namjoon.

Namjoon for his own seemed to be less freaked out that Kyung would have been in his situation, maybe it was because he was still feeling the arousal, or maybe because he knew that Jiho wasn’t great with words if it weren’t in music.

“We planned to ask to court you when you were supposed to present at 18, around the time when you were going to reach 18 remember how everybody from the pack was talking with you more? That was kinda like pre courting, it was supposed to lay the groundwork for us to court you, that was also why we all, but especially me pulled back when you ended up being seen as a dud. I was… no we were, kinda disappointed and I was hurt, Kyung was as well even tho he is playing it cool now.” every word was spoken slowly and clearly thought over many times before finally told to Namjoon.

“You…” Namjoon seemed lost for word, Kyung find it kinda funny how both Namjoon and Jiho seemed to suddenly be so lost for words, seemed like they were suddenly so bad with them, this was two people who were normally great with them, “you wanted to court me? Before you even knew what I was gonna present as before all this happened?”

Kyung let his hand run through Namjoon’s hair, even if the younger wasn’t looking at him, he could still feel how Namjoon was relaxing a little under the familiar action “yes, back then we all sat down, and talked about it, it was not that long after Minho ended up not working out for us, but it felt like with you it would work out, since you guys hadn’t debuted yet and you weren’t that close yet, it felt right.”

“You guys never told me.” this was not what Namjoon had expected, this meant that it wasn’t just a spur of the moment that Block B wanted to court him, it was a decision they had taken years ago.

“Of course we didn’t, we thought you were a dud and we know you, we know that you would have felt guilty. It is just how you are, you would feel guilty for not having presented.” Jiho seemed a lot calmer now that Namjoon had reacted so well, “plus… while it hit us all, it hit me and Kyung the worse, I still feel sorry for pulling back and spending less time with you at that time, I feel like I am guilty of not seeing what was happening to you.”

At that Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little “I am just… happy,” he had more to say, but he didn’t know how to say it, but since they were already dabbling so much in the past, he knew what he could always feel serenity in as he let his hands glide out of Jiho’s hair where they had been resting and stepped a little back to reach his pinky out to Jiho, who instantly understood, linking his own pinky with Namjoons.

He waited for a second with baited breath before Kyung rested his own pinky on top of their “now tell us, you know we won’t judge you.”

“At times I don’t feel like I deserve to have so many people court me, and at other times I feel like I don't understand why any of you would do it. I am afraid that people just want another omega.” Namjoon had been holding that in for so long, he still couldn’t seem to understand why people wanted to court him… him of all people, who would want to court him?

Both Jiho and Kyung just felt sad inside, it was so sad that it had come to point in Namjoon’s life where he questioned why people wanted to love him, he deserved to be loved and respected so much, the looked quickly at each other, not breaking their hold on Namjoon’s pinky, Kyung was the one who took over to speak “Monsta x has two omega’s and one soft alpha, B.a.p have a perfect balance of subgenders, Got7 has a balance now that Mark joined them, if anything we would be the one who actually needed an omega, but we wanted to court you before we knew what your subgender was.” Kyung wanted to stop there, he didn’t want to defend BTS, but he also didn’t want to seem like he was manipulating Namjoon into being anti BTS, this had to be fair “And yes BTS could need more omega’s, but they are your group, I am sure they wouldn’t just want you for being an omega.”

Actually, Kyung wasn’t so sure of it, he had to meet Seokjin and Jimin when all the people wanting to court Namjoon had met, and it was sure that at least those two members wanted Namjoon for Namjoon, it was more Yoongi and Jungkook had was worried about.

Namjoon’s smile was a little sad, and he couldn’t control how he tightened his grasp on Jiho’s pinky, it was still hard for him to take it all in and accept it, he was trying his best to understand it, but it was hard, that was why it meant so much that Jiho had said they wanted to court him before Namjoon even presented.

Even if there was still a sad undertone in his mind, he trusted that Jiho and Kyung wouldn’t just say stuff like that to make him feel better, they actually meant it, it was truth time, he trusted that neither would ever lie to him during this time.

He was split at that moment, he didn’t know what to answer, he just wanted to kiss one of them, but he had already kissed and he didn’t want to leave out Kyung, but he wasn’t in a good spot to reach down to kiss Kyung.

Luckily, it seemed that Kyung understood what Namjoon meant when he looked at him with those confused eyes, he just nodded towards Jiho as a sign that the younger omega should just go for it, this was after all his plan to start with before Jiho had decided to be sentimental.

With Kyung’s blessing, Namjoon lets go of Jiho’s pinky and pressed his lips to the others in an eager kiss, hand finding their way back into reddish-brown hair, getting a decent grab on it so he could guide the olders beta’s head into a way he would have it.

At first, Jiho seemed to not completely understand what was actually going on, but he also quickly caught onto it, letting his hands glide down Namjoon’s side, instead of going straight for his thighs instead settling on his hips, choosing to ignore how he could feel Namjoon’s hipbone.

He instead chooses to focus on Namjoon’s soft full lips against his own, they were everything that Jiho had ever dared to dream and hope they would be. His head was confused with a lot of things, on one side it was hot as fuck thinking about how just earlier this morning member of his own pack, people he loved more than anything else, would have been kissing these same lips, on the other side… He kinda wanted to have been the first person of his pack that kissed Namjoon, and he wanted to burn away the feeling of other people’s lips on the youngers.

But the more sensible part of his pack won, that it was hot to think about other people he loved kissing Namjoon, Jiho knew that he at times struggled with jealousy, and it was something he did his best to control. He knew that even tho the media portrays it as something hot, it really wasn’t. Nothing was hot about something wanted to control you.

And it wasn’t just about Namjoon, Jiho in general easily got jalouse, Yukwon said that it was cause Jiho was the middle of his family pack and he hadn’t been something special, even when he became an idol it wasn’t something special. His older brother was an idol as well, so when he finally got success, when he became Zico and made a name for himself, he spends so much time away from his pack that his inner beta felt like he missed out of so many things, he wanna constantly worried that he would be forgotten with the hours, day or weeks he spent working.

It often left room open for jealousy, it was worse when he was younger, but with the help of his pack he had learned to control it, but moments like this he felt it flare up again.

Kyung as always seemed to understand what was going on in Jiho’s head as he lightly let his hand run over his nape, forcing Jiho to focus on what was going on instead of what was happening in his head.

Kyung was really just a god sent, that was all Jiho could think, which was far from the first time he thought that.

Jiho could feel himself getting a lot hot under the collar again, but could you really blame him, he had Kyung’s hand softly petting his neck and Namjoon’s body pressed up against his own, and he could smell on Namjoon’s scent that the omega was getting turned on as well.

No.

This wasn’t right, he had to stop it, as Namjoon broke the kiss a few seconds Jiho stopped him as he leaned into connecting his lips to Jiho’s again “we have to stop.”

Kyung for his own was starting to lose patience with Jiho, he knew that the beta was clearly into Namjoon and wanted this, and it was equally clear that Namjoon wanted it as well, now what could wrong. Like he was not gonna force Jiho to have sexual contact with Namjoon, of course, he wasn’t! But still!

Namjoon on his part looking equally confused, hadn’t Jiho said that he wanted to court Namjoon, didn’t that mean that he wanted Namjoon in a sexual way as well? He could smell that Jiho was turned on?

He could feel himself getting worried and a little confused “what is wrong? Did I do something.”

Jiho was heavily breathing, trying to control himself, he wanted this, but it wasn’t right! But he couldn’t get himself to let go of Namjoon, he kept his hands on Namjoon’s hips “we can’t do this,” he had to try and take a few deep breaths to at least try to have some control over himself, “not like this, not here, you deserve better.”

The look he sends Namjoon was almost desperate, and he himself wasn’t even sure what it actually was that he wanted, for Namjoon to disagree with him and just let stuff go down in his studio, or for him to understand that he was worth more than a rump in said studio.

Namjoon just… laughed “you silly beta,” Kyung joined Namjoon in laughing, this was so Jiho, he really could be an idiot at times.

Said silly beta didn’t seem to understand what was so funny, he just looked confused at Namjoon who was leaning his head again his shoulder while laughing “I don’t understand?”

“If anything this is the most fitting place isn’t it? This is without a doubt you, wouldn’t this technically be more personal than anywhere else? This is where you spend all your time anyway, this is a place we all have memories, would it be that bad to add more memories to it” Kyung was the one speaking at that point since Namjoon seemed to have lost himself to giggling.

Jiho… didn’t really know how to answer to that, “That… maybe?”

Namjoon felt this conversation was not going anywhere, Jiho was being silly and Kyung was right, this place, Jiho’s studio had more meaning to any of them than any other place, even after Namjoon had been seen as a dud they still spent hours upon hours with each other there.

He pressed another kiss to Jiho’s lips, interrupting whatever the beta was gonna say, Namjoon knew that he was being pushy, but could you blame him. Jiho didn’t seem to really realize what his hands were up to! His warm hands were on Namjoon’s hips, pulling Namjoon close to him so they were body against body with full frontal contact, and his thumbs had pushed up the edge of Namjoon’s hoodie to run over the hem of his jeans, and it was like he was teasing Namjoon with the idea of actually pushing them down.

The funniest part was that even with all of Jiho’s talk making it seem like was very against the idea, the beta was very eager to kissing Namjoon back, making Namjoon feel that he wasn’t actually against the idea, but he felt like he should be against the idea so he did his best to at least pretend that he was.

As the kiss was broken “I don’t need something better, I just want you,” he looked over to Kyung, he felt a little guilty for almost ignoring the other beta “and you.”

Kyung for his part didn’t actually feel like he was being ignored, while Namjoon might not know it yet, Kyung actually really liked watching. It was common knowledge between the Block B members, but he couldn’t expect Namjoon to know that unless they told, “then god please him before he starts over thinking everything again,”

To that, Namjoon could agree as he pressed his lips to Jiho, who at that seemed to have given up his pretends that he didn't want it. Like what could he really do, he had Namjoon’s warm body pressed up against his, and Kyung’s soft hand on his neck, all Jiho could really do was give in.

Namjoon knew that he had won the argument when he could feel Jiho glide his hands down to Namjoon’s ass, getting the best grab he could of the flattest ass in kpop, getting a good grab, owner of said non existing ass moaned into Jiho’s mouth, giving the beta free range to run his tongue.

As they broke the kiss Jiho was almost breathless as he asked: “okay how do you wanna do this?”

If they were gonna do this, he was at least gonna have Namjoon make the decisions, Namjoon to his blushed a little, he hadn’t actually thought about how this was gonna go down, he looked between Kyung and Jiho thinking for a moment. It only took one hand moment of Kyung to signal to Namjoon that he should focus on the other beta.

Which did make Namjoon a little confused, but he also just decided to go with it. He trusted Kyung to make the best decision for himself.

There was one thing Namjoon had wanted for a while, back before anybody would touch him, back when he was still a dud there was one thought that always helped him get off, one specific thing that he always thought of when he got himself off.

“I wanna 69.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So okay life is against me,
> 
> a) I did graduate, I managed to graduate with a GPA of 11.3 out of 12 and a final grade of 12!  
> b) I have been coughing for 2 weeks so I went to the doctor to get some medicine, the medicine I got was supposed to be really dulling but I thought meh why not.  
> c) When I took the medicine I realize that it had licorice in it, which I am highly allergic to... It hurt
> 
> In other news!  
> In the next few days expect a side story coming up!  
> Teaser:
> 
> Namjoon in a few chapters are about to have a very sad phone call as somebody just rejected their pack bite  
> It is currently around 3.5k long and it is Taekwoon and Jungkook having some soft alpha loving and Jungkook admitting his praise kink!


	85. Even if you can't hear my heart, Even though you can see my love, Today again in front of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you know, better late than never?

For a second Jiho just stared at Namjoon, the feeling in the room was hot and heavy as both Kyung and Namjoon waited for the red-haired rapper to say something.

Kyung a little annoyed with how slow Jiho seemed to be today, which was probably a combination of Namjoon, not enough sleep or food, Namjoon looked worried that he was about to turned down.

The thing was a million thoughts was running through Jiho’s brain, and he felt like they were really overwhelming most of his blood found it’s way to his groin instead of to his brain, while Jiho would lie if he said 69 was his favorite position, but it was damn close.

He couldn’t stop himself from thinking that he would later have to get Namjoon into HIS favorite position, so yes maybe Jiho had something for people riding his face, he wasn’t sure why, but it was simply just the best feeling the world.

Now that thought really didn’t help his problem with the blood in his groin, as he looked at the coach that this would without a doubt go down own very soon, he thought of last time something had gone down on it, okay not last time, last time was less than 8 hours ago as he had tried to scent Kyung to calm him down, instead it had ended with him fucking the other into a peaceful sleep, sometimes that was just what Kyung needed when he was overthinking stuff.

What he was thinking of was around a week ago, Taeil had come to visit him in the studio with a pretty order from their dearest pack alpha that Jiho really needed to eat something. What Jiho had ended up eating was his oldest pack members pretty little ass. Taeil was always the easiest to talk into it, the tiny beta wasn’t that worried that his weight or physical being would crush Jiho, or if he was he didn’t care.

He was more than happy getting on top of Jiho, letting the much taller male grab at his tattood thighs forcing him more down on Jiho’s face, helping him to ride it. There was nothing better than having somebody thighs shake around his head and hearing their moans as they were trying to fight the orgasme threatening to overwhelm them. God it had been so good, Taeil might be cute adorable and everybody wanted to eat him up, but he could be busy in bed and felt comfortable taking his pleasure as he wanted.

Something the rest of the Block B pack was more than happy to help him with, then again, they were all really whipped for him, so was it really a surprise for anybody?

“Okay yes, good idea, brilliant idea, couch? Yes, great.” Jiho was aware that he was babbeling, but his blood wasn’t in his brain “I am gonna stop and just kiss you know.” There was still a little bit of sense in him it seemed as he pressed his lips to Namjoon’s giggling ones.

Namjoon for his part let Jiho do as he pleased, swung his arms back around Jiho’s neck kissing him eagerly, letting Jiho lead him back to the couch always falling back into it as Kyung stopped him, both Jiho and Namjoon looking confused at the much shorter.

Kyung sighed inside, even if he was turned on as well he had to be the one to think for them “Maybe Namjoon on top?” Like he could understand Namjoon not thinking of it, since he wasn’t that used to sexual encounters, but Jiho was! He knew that the one who weighed the least really was better on top, plus on top Namjoon could have a little more control and they wouldn’t have to be worried that they were slowly overwhelming him.

“But,” Kyung placed a soft hand on top of Namjoon’s mouth, which he, to be honest, was a little annoyed how far he had to reach up, growing that tall should be illegal.

“No, I know what you think, but trust me you weigh a lot less than this guy, he doesn’t move out of that chair anyway, and this way you can have control of how much you want to take and how you can, it is really better for everybody I promise you.” Kyung’s hand moved from his mouth to softly petting his cheek, before he leaned up himself and pressed a kiss to Namjoon’s plush lips.

Namjoon to his, didn’t seem happy yet as he broke the kiss “what about you?” he didn’t want Kyung to be left out, he was important as well! Kyung often seemed to get sidelined for Jiho, and Namjoon refused to do the same as so many other people did.

But Kyung just smiled at him, running a finger over the others soft plush lips he shook his head “It’s okay, this is a thing I have wanted to see for a while. Sometimes when you are so many people in a relationship, you don’t feel the need to be involved physically in the act.” and he was just a giant ass voguerist, but Namjoon didn’t need to know that for now, that was a thing that really could wait, no reason to scare Namjoon yet.

Minhyuk could get to do that… after all he was a kinky freak.

Slowly they could see Namjoon accepting what was being said as he nodded, Namjoon was still turned out as hell, it was something he had wanted to do forever and he had only really gotten to do with with Daesung, but he had been having his heat at that time, and to be honest he couldn’t really remember what was going on at that time.

Okay then, Jiho leaned forward to kiss him again as Kyung slowly removed his fingers from where they were caressing Namjoon’s lips, he didn’t really understand why everybody seemed to love his lips so much, he could remember somewhere in his confused mind Seungri babbling about how Daesung and Namjoon’s lips were sin.

But then again, they had both been going down on him at that time, maybe that was why, Daesung’s lips were sin tho, Namjoon would have to agree with that. After his heat Namjoon had had some not so pg dreams about them, and he now understood how Seungri had said that Daesung gave the world best blowjobs.

Nope not the time to focus on that, time to focus on Jiho who was was leaning forward to kiss him only to be stopped by Namjoon, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss Jiho, god know he wanted to kiss Jiho, but Namjoon also knew that when they first started to kiss they wouldn’t get anywhere else, they would be lost in kisses just like they were before. Jiho clearly looked confused, his eyes still on Namjoons lips like a preditor who had decided on their prey.

Namjoon let his hands glide from Jiho’s lips down his upperbody, and grabbed the bottom of his ratty tshirt, Namjoon was pretty sure that the shirt should have been thrown in the wash… or even better… out… days ago, but he decided that the moment probably wasn’t the best to common on Jiho’s shirt. He guided the shirt up and off the olders upperbody, who quickly seemed to catch onto what was going on and were more than happy to give Namjoon a helping hand with pulling of his shirt.

Staring at Jiho shirtless, Namjoon had to stop for a second and then start laughing like crazy. Jiho to his, looked really offended that Namjoon’s first reaction to seeing him shirtless in a sexual situation was to laugh “What?”

He knew he was more lean than muscled, not sporting the well defined abs of other male idols, but he didn’t think he was a laughing matter! Namjoon seeming to understand what Jiho was saying spoke up still laughing “No it’s not like that! It’s just… How can anybody have sex with you front to front!”

Now that didn’t make Jiho less offended! “You don’t need abs! I am still attractive!” how had this turned into an argument about if he was hot or not?

“Yes you are,” Namjoon put his hands on Jiho’s face “But how anybody have your mother staring at my face while you have sex without feeling weird?”

Kyung quick at catching up started laughing at well, both at Namjoon expression and at Jiho’s almost insulted facial expression, the thing was… This was far from a new conversation for anybody to have with Jiho.

They had all told him when he had talked about getting it that it was a bad idea, they all understood that he wanted to honor his birthmother, they understood that, they understood wanting to honor the woman who died giving birth to him, they understood it and supported it, but they did question the strong logic in getting your mother's face tattooed on your chest.

The first few… many… times it was really weird having to stare into a woman's cold dead ink eyes, knowing that she was dead. Yeah it was weird, they really should have talked to Namjoon about it shouldn’t they?

“It’s not that bad!” Jiho looked like a kicked puppy “Just… ignore it?”

Namjoon didn’t know what was worse, the fact that Jiho’s mother was staring at him, or the fact that Jiho actually looks like he thought Namjoon was calling it off, the smexxy time that being, he just wanted to poke a little fun at Jiho first, since while it was a good quality tattoo, it was a questionable choice, god he was glod that 69 did not require him to look at it.

Kyung stepped up for Namjoon tho “well Joonie doesn’t have to look at it, now undress.”

“Why are you always so bossy?” Jiho’s voice were almost… whiny, Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling, these two really was something special.

“Cause if I am not bossy with you, nobody ever guess anywhere, remember the Christmas incident?” Kyung raised a brow while sneaky as a ninja snaked his hand down to undo the button of Jiho’s jeans, Namjoon quickly seemed to get on the page, undressing Jiho seemed like a great idea! There were more tattoos to reveal! Hopefully none of them of mothers faces, but other kind of tattoos, Namjoon was starting to think he had a thing for tattoos.

It would explain his giant ass crush on Jay Park, cause god know it wasn’t for the mans at time not very sparkly personality, even if the older had mellowed out a lot after joining back up with his old pack, actually… Namjoon kinda understood him on that point, that would have had to be a terrible experience, but he would really have to save that for another time. His tattoo fetish would have to wait, at least that was the conclusion he came to while helping Kyung undress Jiho.

The two were still engaged in light-hearted banter that Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling at, this was what he loved about his two oldest friends, they were so comfortable around each other, in a way that only time could make.

Yes, Namjoon would one day reach that with the pack he would choose, with his group and the rest of his friends, but until he reached that point, it was very nice, and it was something that Namjoon hadn’t realized, how much he had missed.

He would get there with everybody else, but it would take time like everything else did “Why am I the only one naked?” Jiho had managed to get completely undressed by the other two idols at that point, the embarrassed flush from his face reaching down to his chest as well.

Kyung to his, not feeling like he was in a position to push Namjoon to stripdown, knowing the younger had struggled with body image, was quick at pulling his own shirt up, throwing it on the ground joining Jiho’s cloth.

Namjoon for his part, was a little bit busy, Jiho wasn’t just stripped down to his underwear, the beta was completely and deliciously naked, tattoos snaking across his body in multiple places, Jiho was a fair few shades lighter than Namjoon and Namjoon’s hand on his hip was setting a clear contrast between them.

He understood what Kyung was doing, and he apprecieted it, it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was trying to treat Namjoon as softly as he could, he apprecieted it, he really did, he still had days where he hated what he saw in the mirror, days where pushing each mouthful of food inside was a struggle, he had bad days, but right at that moment, with his two oldest friends, who had known him even when he was an awkward storklegged almost child, he didn’t think like that, he couldn’t get himself to really care about how he looked and if he was thin enough, he just wanted to touch.

He shrugged of his own shirt, letting it join the rest of the discarded close on the floor, that seemed to make Jiho’s complaining that he was the only one naked a little, all three of their scents were strong in the room, strong beta scents of figs and vanilla bourbon was clear from the youngest, mixing with Namjoon’s soft omega scent of peaches and cream like it had always been meant to be like that, like it had been waiting to do so for years.

Kyung raised his brow at Jiho, as to tell him ‘your move?’ mostly to figure out if he would have to micromanage this entire smut, not that he was against it, but Jiho really should start to show some more brain capacity, or Kyung himself was gonna have to give Namjoon’s wants to him.

But it seemed like God had smiled down at them and granted Jiho a little bit of common sense, staring at Namjoon’s tanned beautiful.... If not a little too skinny… upper body, he realized that he probably should do something, instead of just playing the most tattooed sex doll in south Korea, and somehow the least responsive.

Jiho couldn’t stop himself from running his hands over Namjoon’s side down to the waistband of his trousers, ignoring places where he really shouldn’t have been able to feel ribs, but that would have to wait, Jiho could ignore it for now, even if he knew that it was imagery that was gonna haunt him with guilt later.

Watching Namjoon hold in his sounds, biting down on a full lowerlip as Jiho let his thumb run over his happytrail in a teasing movement, Jackson had told him, eager to share everything going on in his life how sensetive Namjoon was, none of them(Them being Got7 and B.a.p) was sure if it was just a Namjoon thing, or if it wwas the side effect of not having gotten his needs filled for so long, or maybe an omega thing, but now experiencing it for himself, Jiho couldn’t deny it.

Namjoon seemed so pliant as he let the older rapper pop the button on his jeans, pushing down the trousers, they were clearly meant to be tight, but months or years of starving himself had made the trousers lose and easy to drop to the floor along with the underwear under them.

Those long tanned legs, had without a doubt been in more of Jiho’s wet dreams over the years than he would like to admit, while him and Namjoon were the same height, Namjoon had the perfect portions, long never-ending legs and strong thick thighs, even with Namjoon’s weightloss, Jiho’s dreams never came close to reality.

“On the couch on your back,” Jiho felt a light slap on his naked asscheck, leading him to look almost offended at Kyung, but when all he got back was a raised eyebrow, he was quick at actually following the olders order, finding his way to the couch placing himself as ordered, Jiho had about 0 procent shame about his body, he might not be built like some of his members, but he knew he was good looking.

Leaving his legs slightly spread leaving room for where Namjoon would go, he winked at the youngest, Jiho could see Kyung cringe, but it seemed to have the desired effect on Namjoon, who was still clearly turned on, making his way slowly over to Jiho “so do I just…”

Jiho eagerly nodded “yup come here! Uptop here, let’s get this show on the road.”

Kyung seemed like he kinda wanted to just sigh and ask why people including himself found Jiho attractive, he was clearly as smooth as a wet cement patch a bird had walked over, but if it worked on Namjoon who was he to question it.

He did guide Namjoon into the right position, the omega clearly seemed a little afraid that he was gonna crush Jiho, which… yes was stupid, but also kind of sweet, Namjoon worried so much when he had no reason to, but it also showed that he clearly cared a lot about his friends and the people he cared for, even if it was misplaced fear.

Luckily, Jiho knew exactly how to stop the slight air of awkwardness that was spreading in the air, while all three males were still clearly turned on, from the kissing and from the smell of their mixed scents spreading around the room filling every square cm of the studio, making them all eager and aroused.

Jiho got a grab of Namjoon’s hips pulling him the younger down closer to him, so he could easy spread his lips around Namjoon’s erection and take him deep in one try. The angle wasn’t his favorite to do, but he was good with his mouth, and Namjoon was an omega, and not that big even for an omega, so it was easy to just take it straight down.

The moan of surprise that Namjoon couldn’t hold in was worth all of the time leading up to that moment for Jiho, it might have to take all the time from Jiho was 18 and Namjoon just 16 to that moment, but that was okay, they had finally gotten to a moment like this.

Namjoon forced himself to not focus on how Jiho was eagerly guiding his hips, clearly enjoying himself sucking him off and instead focused on placing kitten lips on the tip of Jiho’s erection, licking up the precum that had gathered there.

Using only one hand to hold up Namjoon used the other to spit into and get a nice easy jerking movement going, he knew that there was no way that he would be able to take all of Jiho in, but maybe gagging on Jiho’s cock and if everything went wrong, throwing up over him, didn’t seem like the best idea that Namjoon had ever had.

But that didn’t stop him from eagerly slobbering all of the part’s of Jiho that could reach comfortable, he knew that his technique might not be the best, but Himchan had told him that one of the best part was just how eager Namjoon seemed to be to please, which had lead him to pushing Himchan back down at do another try, something Himchan did seem to appreciate.

Jiho seemed to agree with the older beta, as Namjoon could feel him moaning around Namjoon, which in turn left Namjoon to do the same, goddamn this felt just as good as Namjoon had dreamed off.

This… both Jiho and 69ing that being, god it was all so good, having his mouth on somebody else, while they were touching him, feeling the effect what he was doing instantly and feeling how it transferred back to him, every moan he managed to force from Jiho was instantly felt on himself.

That combined with how heavy Jiho’s scent of figs was becoming, was way to much and overwhelming for Namjoon, not in a way where he wanted out or was uncomfortable, but he simply couldn’t keep it in anymore, he couldn’t keep himself from spilling into Jiho’s mouth, he didn’t even have the time to warn Jiho since he had his own mouth full.

But Jiho didn’t seem to mind, it was kinda like he had expected it, holding Namjoon’s hips close so the younger couldn’t move away from him. It also seemed to be all it took for Jiho, the feeling of Namjoon’s warm cum filling his mouth and throat, that was enough to push him over the edge as well.

Both would later have to admit that after that it wasn’t very elegant how Namjoon got off Jiho, but that didn’t matter all the older beta could focus on was how Namjoon throat moved as he swallowed the cum. It took both of them a few seconds to get their breath, but then like they were a hivemind, they turned to Kyung who was comfortably sitting on the table, jeans still on as he was lightly rubbing himself through the rough fabric.

Kyung suddenly felt like he was a lot less in control than he was a few seconds before that, blinking like a deer caught in the headlight, and he was then none to gracefully jumped by both of his friends.

It was 2 hours later, all three cleaned up and satisfied as Kyung and Namjoon managed to convince Jiho that it was time to leave the studio, the final straw was Namjoon saying that Jihoon and a song to show him, it was kinda cute how both seemed so eager to share stuff like that with each other.

The mood was light and sweet as they made their way home, but the mood deflated like a sad ballon as they made their way into the dorm, everybody had serious faces on, Jaehyo’s voice was sharp and cutting as he looked at Namjoon “What are you doing here? You can’t be here.”

Who knew 9 words was all it took for Namjoon’s world to come apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Prussia's at point biweekly update whine section:
> 
> I have no excuse, I have been putting off writing this chapter, I deleted like 1k words that were Namjoon ranting about Jay Park XD but I am happy with it now!
> 
> Other updates, I posted 4 other stories that can now be found on my account!
> 
> [1 - Side story to Hidden omega that is Jungkook x Taekwoon, ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14684516)   
>  [2 - Namjoon and Jackson soulmate au, oneshot, mostly just humour](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723468)   
>  [3 - Wonshik and Hongbin, idol au, oneshot, mostly just out to hurt peoples emotions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706351)   
>  [l4 - The fifth instalment of Exo and BTS Fucking, oneshot, this time with Zitao and Yoongi fucking against a door](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14739132)
> 
> For the Hidden Omega side story, there is a poll for which side story people would like to see next time!


	86. If you miss me, come back to me, Love me when you’re back, Rest for a while along the flower path, And wait for me there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter out!

Namjoon just stared at Jihyo, he couldn’t understand what was happening, he couldn’t understand why Jihyo was saying stuff like this! The omega had been fine before Namjoon had left and now suddenly he wanted him gone, no this couldn’t be right, something was wrong!

On Namjoon’s side Kyung had grabbed his hand, physically, but softly pulling the much bigger male closer to him, as if to protect him from the hurtful words, and on Namjoon’s other side Jiho seemed just as blindsided by his packs words, facial expression confused as he stepped forward “what? We talked about this for years, I thought you said it was fine! That you wanted this as well, we all told you so many times that we would still love you with another omega here, you said that you wanted another omega here? What changed?” Jiho sounded so hurt that it almost seemed like it was him getting asked to leave.

“Wait, what?” it was Jihyo’s turn to look confused, he genuinely looked like he had no idea what Jiho was talking about like he couldn’t understand why the three were acting like he were “I never said I didn’t like Joonie.”

Everybody seemed equally confused until Taeil was the one who spoke up, the oldest Block B member had been sitting on the couch texting on his phone at the speed of light almost like his life depended on it “you guys didn’t read your texts did you?”

All three of the newly arrived members had to admit that no, they had indeed not even looked at their phones, they had been so busy with each other just enjoying being together and spending time, all of them had completely forgotten their phone.

That was when a feeling of dread found its way into Namjoon’s stomach, it was the same feeling of every time they managed to ‘lose’ one of their members somewhere, it was a feeling he was way too familiar with. He suddenly wasn’t worried about himself anymore, even if Block B wanted to throw him out that was not the point at that moment, that was a worry in everybody’s face.

Namjoon could almost physically feel his inner leader step up “what is wrong?” he sounded sure in himself, “what has happened.”

Taeil got up from the couch “I will explain it on the way to the place you got for yourself when you presented,” Yukwon for a second looked like he was about to stop him, but Taeil just leveled him with a glare that for a second reminded everybody… he was indeed to oldest “It’s best like this, Jaehyo is not calm enough and I am the least threatning person out of anybody here, I already called an uber to come and pick us up so you don’t have to worry. Focus on calling people who doesn’t know yet, I will explain to to Namjoon.”

The tone of voice was something he rarely heard from Taeil, it was a completely serious adult tone he rarely put on unless hell was burning over, it didn’t help Namjoon’s anxiety, but he tried to control it letting Taeil guide him out of the house no questions asked.

The uber arrived almost at the same time as the got out, and neither of them talked about what was going on as they sat in the car, they were both idols and they both knew that this was idol business, if the uber driver heard them and talked to the press it could be a whole controversy, Namjoon was sure of that even if he had no idea what was going on.

First, when they got to Namjoon’s place and the door was locked did Namjoon turn to Taeil “what is going on, you are making me really worried, I don’t assume this is just you showing me homing and then dumping me.”

Taeil nodded in agreement, but he also looked distraught, he was clearly trying to smell around it to try and catch some kind of scent at the door “he hasn’t been here yet.”

That… did not make Namjoon feel better, it just made him more worried and more scared “please tell me what is wrong you are making me really really scared.”

For a second it looked like Taeil wasn’t gonna answer like he didn’t know how to answer, then he slowly said: “please sit down before I tell you.”

Namjoon wanted to protest, wanted to say that he was perfectly fine standing, that he didn’t need to sit down! He needed the damn truth! He needed for Taeil to speak up!

But he didn’t protest, he just went and sat down, cause the expression in Taeil’s face showed how serious it was “okay.”

Taeil himself sat down, the way he sat down wasn’t the easy light stepped way he normally was no, it was heavy and almost like he just wanted to roll up in a ball and hide “Mark is missing, nobody knows where he is.”

In the span of 30 minutes it had gone from Namjoon’s world being ready to fall apart because of one thing, and now this. The worst part was, that if you asked Namjoon this was much worse, while yes it would have been hard at first, he would still have been able to understand and accept if Block B didn’t find him fitting for their pack and they knew it already.

But this… this was much worse, he cared about Mark so much, the omega had been so important for him, Mark understood him so well both before and after he has presented at an omega, Mark had just… Mark was Mark.

“What happened? Was he kidnapped?” Namjoon’s mind went straight to all the worst possible options there was, it wasn't something new that Kpop without a doubt could be a little scary for the idols.

While Namjoon loved Army’s to the death and back, sometimes they scared him a little, most of them were nice and supportive, and some of them were fucking mental tho, some broke into their dorms and stole things, chased them in cars and made them really scared for their safety, and that was fans.

Antis was even worse.

Oh god, Got7 had some really bad anti’s what had happened to them, was Mark, okay, no stupid Namjoon, of course, Mark wasn’t okay, if he was okay he wouldn’t be missing now, would he?

“He was not kidnapped he ran away,” Taeil sighed looked sadly at his hands “I don’t know all the detail, we got the information from Jaebum as they couldn’t get into contact with you are Jiho, he rejected his pack bite and then he ran away crying.”

Okay so that was somehow worse as well, Mark was destructive in moments like this, it was seen in how he sought out Namjoon while drunk and confused, only to punch Jungkook first, Namjoon knew that it didn't cause Mark was a bad guy, just that he was confused and in some place of his mind wanted to punish himself, which just made everything a lot sadder. The worst part was that he was surprised, he had been worried about Mark and him joining Got7, not cause he didn’t think Got7 was the right pack for him.

Namjoon was actually 100% sure that they were the perfect pack for Mark, the problem was that Mark didn’t like to talk or admit his problems, the many years of waiting for the pack to feel perfect for him.

Taeil looked distraught as well “I know I don’t know him as well as you do, but we still got to know him pretty decently and this is just… I can’t stop wondering what we would do if it was Jaehyo, they are so similar in a way, they both often hide behind a pretty face and doesn’t like to talk about their feelings. If this could happen to them, could it have happened to us?”

To be honest, Namjoon could understand why Taeil was feeling like he was, but it was also very different “Maybe back many years ago, but now… It’s different from you guys, you have been together for so long time that you can’t really compare it. Mark just joined Got7, and he has some issues. While yes neither he nor Jaehyo liked to speak about their problems and does often hide behind their pretty faces, but you guys have learned to communicate, they are still learning that.” He crawled over to Taeil on the other side the couch to wrap his arms around the much smaller male in a hug “I talked to Jinyoung a week or two ago, he said that Mark was rejecting his bite, but refused to talk about it. So it is not too shocking this happened, I had hoped that it didn’t blow up like this.”

While yes rejecting the bite could be really bad, it could be a sign that something was wrong, but it could also be a sign that while it might be the right pack, the person getting the bite wasn’t in the right mindset, and Namjoon was pretty sure that was the case.

The thing was, while Namjoon had never been unsure about Mark joining Got7, he had also been shocked that Mark had joined them on the same day he decided he wanted to join them. He couldn’t even blame Got7 for accepting it without thinking about it, they loved Mark so much, they had loved him for so long, of course, they would want him to join as quickly as possible.

Taeil’s body was almost shaking with holding back the tears, he clearly didn’t want to cry, he wanted to be strong, to show his best face to Namjoon, to a person that they were trying to court, that they wanted to join them, but Namjoon wasn’t judging him how could he ever do that, the olders voice was shaking as he spoke up again “Mark and Jackson had a fight over something, and as they yelled at each other… his bite completely disappeared.”

Namjoon hated being right, goddamn why couldn’t this be the time where he wasn’t right? Fuck fuck fuck, this was probably the worst option there was, both Mark and Jackson clearly loved each other so so much, but they also had the most issues between them with each other.

If it didn't cause the two loved each other so much, Namjoon was almost 100 percent sure that it would never work between them, they were just so different, with Jackson’s scent problems he needed to be close to people and he couldn’t understand when people felt that he was being too much and to all over them, and Mark was a person who needed space, who at time needed to just breathe and be alone.

But neither of them were good at talking about their problems, both liked to pretend that nothing was wrong which didn’t help either of them, and just made it worse, it just made the feeling gather up inside them, trying to keep them underlined until they finally exploded, which seemed to be the thing that happened.

He hugged Taeil closer, both for the sake of the olders well being and for his own, it now made sense to him why Jaehyo had been so worried and slightly angry when he had seen Namjoon come in the door, of course, they would want him to be here, it made most sense for Mark to come to him when he was done doing whatever stupid thing he was doing first “has people checked the bars in the area.” Mark had a bad habit of drinking when he didn’t want to deal with his problems, at least if the problems were serious enough like this was.

Taeil nodded “people are still checking currently, but nobody has seen him yet,” he was hugging Namjoon back again.

Namjoon now also understood why Taeil had insisted on going with Namjoon, he was the best choice without a doubt, betas were always calming to other sub-genders, in a way that was hard to explain, but many of the Block B beta’s could be scary looking if Mark had already scared himself, Taeil… wasn’t.

He might be covered in colorful tattoos, but he was probably one of the least scary looking people Namjoon knew… and he knew Jimin, who was an everybodies cute Moshi, “do you think he is gonna come here?”

Taeil seemed hesitant for a second “both yes and no, I don’t think sober he will go to you, he is too afraid that it will affect you joining them, he wants to show you the best outwards face. When he is drunk that is a completely another thing tho, I think when he is drunk he won’t think about the fact that you with us. He will go here cause you are safe from him, was it anything other than this, then he would go to Exo, they are close friends.” He blinked trying to clear his eyes from the tears “but with how he ended up rejecting them, he might feel like that the wound is still a little too fresh for him to go to them, hopefully he understands that it is still okay to go to you, god I hope, none of us knows where he else he might be going.”

Namjoon couldn’t deny that hugging Taeil close and feeling him shake a little while trying to calm him down did make Namjoon himself feel calmer, the thing was for him that he had been a leader for so long time that while he really did enjoy when people took care of him, he was also in his element taking care of other people “he is going to be okay, they are all going to be okay. He was with them few weeks, they are meant to be, nobody can change that. I am sure Mark will come here and then all we have to do is talk him down, we just have to slowly get him to realize that he still good enough for them. I know Mark, he is blaming himself.”

Taeil sniffled a little “I didn’t mean to cry, I was trying to be the adult one.”

“Crying and being sad doesn’t mean you aren’t an adult,” Namjoon smiled a little into the soft hair of the older, why was Taeil even allowed to be this cute, it wasn’t okay. “It just means that you have feelings, which I would be more worried if you didn’t”

Taeil pushed Namjoon gently away so he could take off his glasses and rub away the tears from his face, sending the omega a wobbly smile “Doesn’t mean that I didn’t want to at least try to be cool.”

“Well, that is around 5 years too late.” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from teasing Taeil as he helped remove some of the tears from his cheek with his hoodie sleeve… well saying he would be a lie, but he was wearing it “and you don’t need to be, I like you as you are, just like I like the rest of you as you are.”

“You know that we like you how you are as well right? You don’t have to force yourself to act like you think an omega should act, we like you as you already are.” Taeil had put back on his big black frames, eyes still a little red from his crying, but his smile was soft.

Namjoon shrugged “I think… I am starting to accept that, it is still hard at times, but it is getting better. There are times where I like being able to finally behave like I have wanted to for so long, but other times where I feel like the world expect me to be things I am not.”

Namjoon ones again got short arms wrapped around him in an almost death grab of a hug “You don’t have to be any other way in just yourself.”

The olders voice was so full of conviction that Namjoon couldn’t do anything other than just smile back at him in the hug, “Thank you, it goes for all of you guys as well. I like everybody as they are, I know that being friends and being courted is very different from being friends, but  I still like you guys as you are.”

Taeil never got to answer Namjoon as a knock sounded on the door, the two idols on the couch stared at each other, before Taeil delivered a light push to Namjoon to show that he should go while the older stayed in the living room. Neither of them wanted to overwhelm Mark, neither of them doubted for a second that it was actually Mark.

Nobody else knew that Namjoon was here, Namjoon was quick to open the door, and the view that he saw honestly broke his heart, Mark was standing outside hanging his head, wearing only a tanktop and jeans in the cold winter snow, tear stains were on his cheeks from where he had been crying earlier, his natural sweet omega vanilla scent was almost making Namjoon gag with how wrong it was.

Namjoon didn’t even need a second to think about it, he pulled Mark to him in a bone-crushing hug, Mark for his just buried his face into Namjoon’s shoulder as the tears started again in ugly sobbing, Namjoon was kinda surprised that he couldn’t smell alcohol on Mark, but it made him happy as well.

“It okay baby, just let it all out.” Namjoon let his hand run through Mark’s red hair, this kinda felt like right before Jimin had presented. Jimin had been so scared right before he presented since they all knew that Jimin was gonna be an omega, they also all knew that he would have to be the one creating the pack with Yoongi.

Jimin had been so scared and afraid, he wasn’t sure if he was ready, if it was the right thing to do, if he was good enough, Namjoon had spent many nights calming the younger omega down, rocking him back and forward as he emptied tears into Namjoon’s shoulder.

Of course, as soon as Jimin had presented it had changed, as soon as Jimin had presented he stopped seeking out Namjoon, he no longer questioned if he should create the pack with Yoongi and just 30 minutes after he was a full-fledged omega, the BTS pack had been born.

 

For the people wondering where this is going, I want to make sure that it keeps with the feeling that the universe keeps going even when Namjoon isn't with a group, this was an issue that I on purpose left open when Namjoon left the Got7 pack!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the people wondering where this is going, I want to make sure that it keeps with the feeling that the universe keeps going even when Namjoon isn't with a group, this was an issue that I on purpose left open when Namjoon left the Got7 pack!
> 
> So I am planning to do a Namjoon, Jackson and Mark week, where I will do different stories for that pairing, and it is planned like this so far:
> 
> Day 1: Soulmate AU  
> Day 2: Hybrid verse  
> Day 3: Non-idol verse  
> Day 4: Hanahaki  
> Day 5: Omega verse (Hidden Omega)  
> Day 6: Harry Potter AU  
> Day 7: Yet to be determined
> 
> I don't know when it will be published yet, but it will be slowly worked on!


	87. When I used to be happy, Despite having nothing, It seems like only yesterday, Yeah, I think I’ve come Too far, I Can’t remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are fast today!

“I fucked up, I fucked up so badly, they won’t want me anymore.” Namjoon almost couldn’t understand what Mark was saying the words were so slurred from his crying, but he still understood the most of it.

He couldn’t stop himself from hugging Mark closer, he expected this from what he heard of what had gone on, this was just in Mark’s character since he was always really good at blaming himself.

“Did you and Jackson not talk? After I left.” the answer to Namjoon’s question seemed to be a big no as Mark started to cry even more into Namjoon’s chest, “Mark baby,” Namjoon should have expected it.

That was the thing with him being an ‘outsider’ from Got7, he didn’t see Mark every single day and every single night, he noticed things like that. Jaebum was so busy, not only leading the pack but also leading the group, it wasn’t that they were ignoring Mark or being ignorant, it was just that the loved him too much.

They were blind to the problems since they were too afraid to push him, to push him away from them now that they had finally gotten him to join “let’s go into the living room, Taeil from Block B is here, but he will go into the bedroom if you want to.”

Namjoon wanted to give Mark the option to choose, did he want Taeil there or not? Mark sniffed “He is the beta right? The short one with tattoos and the cute face?” well yes that did explain Taeil perfectly, Namjoon nodded his agreement. For a second it seemed like Mark wasn’t sure what he wanted, but seemed to make his mind up “he can stay, he is very calming.”

Well Mark was right, and he had done just like Namjoon had expected, he had chosen to let the beta stay. He guided the older into the living room before sitting down and letting Mark half plop down on his lap, Mark seemed to take comfort in the fact that while Namjoon was skinny, he was still much bigger than Mark and could make him feel comfortable that way.

He gave a quick smile to Taeil over Mark’s shoulder as a sign that he could stay, which the older beta seemed to take as he let himself sink into the couch, he let Mark get comfortable before Namjoon slowly asked: “do you wanna tell us what happened?”

“They already told you,” Mark were speaking into Namjoon’s shoulder, not wanting to look at him while they were having the conversation.

“They did,” Namjoon agreed while carting his hand through the red locks of Marks' hair, pulling over a blanket to wrap the older up in it, he was still shaking from the cold outside “but I want to hear it from your side, what they thought happened might not be what you thought happened, you know that I just want you guys to be happy.”

“I didn’t wanna come here,” Mark’s thin shoulders were shaking and at that point Namjoon wasn’t even sure if it was from the cold or from the tears he was trying to hold back, “I didn’t want you to see me like this, I didn’t want you to think that I am broken, that they are broken, I wanted you to believe in their pack even if it’s not with me.”

That sentence scared Namjoon, cause it was what he was afraid of, that Mark just thought of himself as broken now, he had this idea that it didn't cause Mark was having second thoughts, Namjoon was almost 100 percent sure that it wasn't cause Mark was thinking of joining exo instead.

If that was the case it wouldn’t have blown up like this, if it was like that everybody would just have agreed on it and Mark would have left, he wouldn’t be so messed up, his scent wouldn’t be so fucked up.

“Do you want to leave Got7?” he had to ask, he couldn't help Mark unless he knew what the older omega actually wanted.

Now that got a reaction from Mark, and for the first time since he arrived he sat up with a set staring at Namjoon “No! I love them!”

Just as Namjoon expected, that did answer one question “okay then, then there is no got7 pack without you, you know this baby, you love them and they love you so much.”

“But I rejected them,” Mark was back to hiding his face in Namjoon’s shirt, but at least he wasn’t crying anymore. Namjoon could almost feel his heart physically hurting when Mark was crying, he deserved so much better.

Taeil who was sitting in the other end of the couch, seemed conflicted before he made his decision crawling across the couch putting his hand as softly as he could on Mark’s shoulder, giving the omega the time to shrug it off if he didn’t want it.

Instead, Mark relaxed a little as Taeil’s cold hand ran over the nape of his neck petting him lightly “it is a lot more common than you think it is, there is just a stigma about people rejecting the bite that most people don’t talk about it. I could tell you 10 idols that rejected it just from the top of my head, and all of them settled with that pack long-term” Namjoon at that moment really appreciated Taeil, not just for his words, but just for the presents that he gave as a beta, but specifically him as a beta. Taeil’s scent of Yarrow was already very sweet, kinda like if somebody mixed Annis with flowers and very sweet licorice, it kinda cleared the head and made Namjoon feel centered, and he was pretty sure that it was doing the same for Mark.

The oldest omega was no longer shaking in Namjoon’s arms, there was still sniffling going on “what?”

Mark wasn’t the only one surprised, Namjoon hadn’t heard of anything like this either, while yes Youngbae had told him about it, and Seungri himself had told Namjoon the story of him rejecting the packbite at first, also from believing the pack was better off without him, that and Junhong was the only one he had really heard about.

Taeil kept petting the soft skin of Mark’s nape as he started telling his stories “yeah, most people have only heard about Junghong cause it has happened so many times, but I don’t think any of us doubts that he belongs with B.a.p, the idea of going to any other pack is absurd.  
Minseok rejected his, it only took 2 days from he got it unto he rejected it, he struggled to accept that he was an alpha from what I understood, you might have heard how he got courted by another group, that was after this cause he didn’t know what was the right thing to do, after exploring, he came back to Exo where he thought he belonged.

Minho from SHINee rejected him early on, also struggling with what being an alpha meant to him, and how he wasn’t explaining his needs to his group, being too ashamed of them to express, it lead his inner alpha to reject it since he wasn’t getting what he needed.

There was Minji from 2ne1, she rejected her bite after a year of being in the pack, since she thought that Jessica didn’t like her, Jessica sat it down and they ended up working it out after a while, but she ended up rejecting it two times before it stayed on, cause she struggled to find her spot as a soft alpha.

When they were splitting to Suju pack, Hangeng and Heechul had to create the pack, Heechul rejected the bite at first which in turn dissolved the pack. He was so afraid that he wasn’t good enough as the only omega, nobody held it against him, and they spent 5 months just all courting each other across countries before trying to make a new pack, and that time it worked.” Taeil voice took a turn to be very sad, and it was clear that the next stories he had to tell were a lot more personal, “Minho from Winner, when he joined the WinKon pack he rejected the bite as well, he got it too early and rejected it cause he wasn’t ready, he ended up rejecting it 3 times before it stayed on.”

Namjoon knew that this was hurtful to Taeil to speak about, he knew that Block B had some history with the WinKon pack, but he never had it in him to ask Jiho about it, it was clear that there still after this many years were some hurt feelings, and especially after what he had heard from Taehyun.

“You will mostly see rejecting of the bite in omegas and alphas, not cause betas aren’t important to packs, but for us normally it is a lot easier to rest is yourself, since we are betas there are fewer expectations and fewer stereotypes about it so we don’t reject pack bites often, unless something is really wrong.

But it happened for us, it was Jihoon, since he is the youngest, he was so disappointed that he was ‘just’ another beta, he ended up rejecting the pack bite cause in his head he didn’t deserve to be part of our pack, he didn’t think we needed him. It took us months to get him comfortable enough again to try the bite, this time it stuck.

This is just a handful of examples there are many more, we just don’t talk about stuff like this, we… that being everybody, not just idols probably should be more open about it, but we aren’t… It’s still one of those things that we hide, that we don’t like to talk about, which leads to stuff like that.

What I am trying to say is that yes you rejected your bite, that doesn’t mean that you don’t belong with them, it means that you and they have some issues that you need to work on, that is something that happens and it’s okay. Love isn’t easy, love isn’t a k-drama where everything works out just cause somebody said I love you. Real love is work, a lot of work, but in the end, that love will win out.”

For a few seconds, everything just froze in the room and Namjoon didn’t dare to say anything, a lot of the things that Taeil had said was things that he himself didn’t know about, everything in that moment depended on how Mark took the new knowledge, how he choose to accept Taeil’s words.

Slowly Mark lifted his head, turned it towards Taeil “so… I am not broken?”

Namjoon wanted to kiss Taeil at that moment out of happiness, the hope that he heard in Mark’s voice was so different from the tone he had heard before Taeil had started his little speech, Namjoon at first hadn’t been sure how to do it, how to make Mark feel comfortable and to explain everything. God bless Taeil, god bless him and his calming scent and pretty words.

Taeil just smiled at Mark, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the omegas forehead “no, you have problems, but we all have problems. Do you wanna talk about what happened? Or do you want some food first? And maybe some dry cloth?”

Namjoon kinda wanted to facepalm himself he somehow hadn’t noticed that Mark was still wearing wet cloth from the snow outside, but again… god, bless Taeil and his easy and soft tone, giving Mark the option to get a little time to compose himself if he needed it.

An option that Mark took “well we have to feed this one don’t we?” he pointed at Namjoon who was still hugging him, it was clear to both Namjoon and Taeil that Mark wasn’t okay yet, but sometimes having so much serious conversation into one would overwhelm somebody, so nobody called him out on it yet, they couldn’t deny him a little bit of space before they took the hardest part of the conversation.

They ended up ordering food, ordering both healthy options and unhealthy option to give Namjoon the option of what he felt up for eating, while they were gonna force him to eat they weren’t gonna force him to eat unhealthy stuff if he didn’t feel it.

Eating was surprisingly light-hearted for him much all three of them had cried that evening, Mark didn’t move far away from either of them, not feeling comfortable unless he was touching either of them. They kept to easy topics nothing too close to Got7, they talked a little about Taeil’s tattoos, about Namjoon’s new song, about a drama that really neither of them had watched, and slowly the food in front of them disappeared.

They had all turned off their phone after Taeil had sent Yukwon a quick message that Mark was with them, trusting his pack alpha to spread the news and making sure that nobody came to interrupt them.

As they started putting away the food, Namjoon started to worry and question how he would bring it up and start the conversation, he didn’t want to push Mark to early and he wasn’t sure what the right option was, but it turned out he didn’t have to wonder as Mark decided to speak up while they were cleaning dishes “I didn’t mean to go here, you shouldn’t even be here, but I paniced, I needed to get out there when I felt the pack bond slip away from me. I didn’t know where to go, my first thought was what I always do hide away in a bar, drink so I don’t feel bad, but I can’t do that, I hurt myself and other people when I do that.” Mark wasn’t looking at them, instead looking down at the plate in his hands that he was supposed to dry “I have friends, don’t get me wrong, but BTOB are really busy at the moment, and it felt wrong for me to get to Exo, it is only one week since I finally got the courage to tell them I had joined the pack.

They were all so understanding about it, so nice, the worst part was that I clearly hurt some of them, but they were still so damn nice to them, and I felt like going to them would be like spitting in the face of their kindness, plus Jimin is with them right now, and I know he struggles with what being an omega is, and I don’t want to show him an omega rejecting his mark, you said yourself that you believe the BTS pack can be good and healthy, and I don’t want to put this idea in his head.”

That was so Mark, everything was going on around him and he was blaming himself, but he still didn’t want to hurt other people, he knew how much Jimin meant to Namjoon, he had been afraid to hurt or scare Jimin, so he had gone somewhere else, “I am glad you went here, I was so scared when I heard you had run away, I thought of all the things that could have happened to you.”

Mark looked a little guilty as he awkwardly moved his weight from one foot to another “I didn’t want to scare anybody, I just…. I needed space, I didn’t expect to reject the bite, I didn’t mean to, we were just… yelling at each other, no we weren’t even yelling, just throwing harsh words at each other, one moment they were there the pack bond was there, and then the next moment they were gone. That is how I realized I had rejected it, it had slowly become weaker the last weeks time, but I didn’t expect it to just go away, I thought it was just going up and down.” he sighed a little, for a moment Namjoon thought he was about to stop and he would have to prod, but Mark went on “I wanted to do as you say, I really did, but it was so hard to start the conversation, I didn’t know what to say to him, all I could do was think about how he thought I didn’t love him. I kept thinking that it was my fault, that I was stupid for needing space, for not being like other omegas. Goddamn it, I am not even a hard omega, I should have this needs!”

And there it was, the thing that Namjoon knew would come back to bite them one day, none of them had really dealt with this, Mark had always been so good at hiding it, but it made sense that he might feel weird for having the needs he did. Namjoon personally couldn’t always understand Mark, he loved having closeness all the time, he still felt overwhelmed at times of course, but that didn't cause his inner omega didn’t want the attention but instead cause he wasn’t used to it.

But that didn’t mean that Mark’s problems were valid and real, that his needs weren’t valid and real, Namjoon had thought that Mark knew this, he had hoped that him and Jackson would work out it, but instead they had just ignored the blaring issue and gone on like nothing was wrong, cause they didn’t want anything to be wrong. They just wanted to be in love, and Namjoon couldn’t blame them, he couldn’t blame anybody for wanting some happiness.

He didn’t know what to say, for once it was like his words had failed him he wanted nothing more than to just hug Mark close and tell him that there was nothing wrong with his feelings, this all touched Namjoon on a deeper level, cause he knew how it was to feel that his feelings were valid that what he was feeling was wrong.

It was how he had felt in the last months before his heart attack, he had felt the need to to be close to people, to get hugs, and kisses and told that he was appreciated, but his own group had kept pushing him away, he hadn’t felt that what he felt was real was valid, that was what Mark was feeling at that moment, he half grabbed half pulled Mark into a tight hug, the plate falling from his hands, in surprise “Don’t ever think that! Don’t ever think that your feelings aren’t valid, just cause they are different from what the media tell you to, Mark goddamn it, everybody loves you the way you are, nobody would want you any other way, not me, not Jaebum and not Jackson.”

Mark started crying again at that, Namjoon could feel Mark dig his fingers into his back as he started sobbing “it’s just so hard! I don’t want to be different, I don’t want to have these needs to be alone when everybody else is so happy together, I hate having to push Jackson away when it is getting too much. I don’t wanna be broken! I want to have my pack! I want to have the people I love more than anything else in the world!”

“It’s okay, they love you just as much, you scared them so much running away, they understand why you did, but they just want you to be safe and loved. You need to talk to them baby, they can’t read your mind.” Namjoon was fully aware that he was more or less crushing Mark against his chest at that point, and he himself was crying, this was all hitting a little to close to home for Namjoon.

He wanted the same as Mark in someway, to be loved and to be valid.

Mark nodded crying into Namjoon chest “I know… It’s just at times I get scared that they are too good for me, and I don’t deserve it.”

“You deserve the world and more!” Namjoon wasn’t sure how long time they stood there, just crying into each other before Taeil awkwardly spoke up “uhm… there is broken plate all over the floor, please don’t move you are really going to hurt your feet.”

That broke the tension, all three of them laughing, even tho they were in different stages of ugly crying.

The three of them ended up getting into bed just an hour later, Taeil easily falling asleep as his head hit the pillow, but Mark took a second to look at Namjoon and pressing a kiss to his soft lips “you deserve the world as well, you know that right?”

And maybe… just maybe… he was starting to realize that as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter will be a more... light-hearted chapter and we will do a lot more quick things happening, since... we are still on the second day of Block B only, we need to move this along and Namjoon needs to soon have a conversation with some of the rappers that made him suppress his subgender, where we once again will see some GD!
> 
> Cause Seungri doesn't like Namjoon going there with only Jiho, and he himself will stick out... so GD comes, I promise it makes sense in the story


	88. 365 days in a year, the only one in the world, you are the Motive in my music, the person who enlightens me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter! I know it might seem like a filler chapter, but things really pick up in the next few chapters and I wanted to explain some time with Block B for Namjoon, just some normal time.

Mark was gone when Namjoon woke up, but there was no reason to worry as a message was set at their bed table from the older omega, saying that he was going to meet up with Jackson and have a conversation with him, before deciding what they were gonna do from there.

Namjoon sat in bed smiling an almost stupid smile as he was reading it, it showed that Mark was actually trying to improve himself, but he also wasn’t rushing to do something, but he wanted to have an open conversation and figure it out. He believed, he really did, that this time it would work out of them.

He turned in bed to look over at Taeil behind him, the older man was just too cute, he was lying one leg outside of the bed the covers thrown off him and droll running down his cheek as he was lying in just his underwear. Basically… Taeil was a mess, but an adorable amazing mess, he didn’t have to do or say any of the things he did yesterday, but he still did and with his help the managed to change Mark’s opinion, Namjoon wasn’t sure that he could have done it without him.

Namjoon lied down next to Taeil, for a moment just looking at his features, he would lie if he said that the oldest Block B was one of his closest friends in Block B, when Namjoon was younger he was a little intimidated by Taeil, not cause he looked scary, it was Taeil he was fucking adorable all the time, but because he was 4 years older than Namjoon.

When you are 16-17 four years had meant a lot to Namjoon, Taeil was a certified adult and Namjoon was not, maybe it was good that it had taken Namjoon this long to present, he was pretty sure that them courting him at 18 would have been awkward, Taeil would have been 22 and Namjoon would have had a hard time to relax around him.

Yeah, it might have taken a lot of bad stuff for him to arrive at this point, but he was still happy, maybe it was actually worth it. It was moments like this that Namjoon was living for, lazy mornings where neither have to be anywhere, where he could lie back down and cuddle up to the much smaller male beside him.

Taeil to his, even in his sleeping form, seemed eager and happy to cuddle back up to Namjoon, and Namjoon could never understand why Taeil had kicked off the covers, as he was just really really warm. Which Namjoon could appreciate since he was still underweight, which meant he naturally got cold, so having Taeil’s sleep slack warm body cuddle up to.

They both woke up a few hours later when the sun was full in the skies and it was snowing again cause winter in South Korea could really go and suck a dick, they would tell the rest that they overslept, but in reality they spend almost 40 minutes rolling around in bed and pressing soft kisses on sleep slack mouths and sharing in each others scent.

It was clear that what had happened the day before had had a high impact on them both, it had reminded them of a lot of things, and it felt good to just take 40 minutes to just enjoy a warm body and a soft smell.

Namjoon spend most of that time trying to take in different tones in Taeil’s scent, where many people had pretty standard scents, flowers, fruits and stuff like that, most of Block B had very layered scents, from different more unknown herbs and flowers.

But in the end… they had to go back to Block B, which okay they were both looking forward to, while they enjoyed spending time with each other alone for this first time, and enjoying getting to know each other a little, the both looked forward to going back to the pack as well, Taeil especially seemed a little exited.

“Missed them already?” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from teasing the older a little.

Taeil nodded “but not the way you think, we are idols we can stand being away from each other for a little while, but Jiho has locked himself up so much in the studio recently, preparing for his own comeback and for ours, plus writing songs for other people. It has been a while since he has been home like this, it feels nice.”

Namjoon himself felt a little worried at that “Why is he coming home now then? If he has been overworking himself this much?”

“Oh we didn’t tell you, Jiho wanted to be home the first time we court you like this, we all wanted to be home for it, we still have practice and other stuff, but we don’t have anything that will take us out of country or stuck on the other side of this country. We wanted to give you a real experience of who we were as a pack, and then if you ended up feeling that we were right for you we would go back to what normally was like if you were with us, which is everybody including you being way more busy than is probably medically safe.” Taeil was smiling up at him, eyes smile and everything and Namjoon was so soft for him.

Namjoon didn’t know how to react to it, he was horrified that Jiho would do something like that, that any of them would overwork themselves like that only to spend more time with him was something he had never thought possible, but when he thought about it… He was actually pretty sure that every group he had been with so far had done it, that was why they had so much time to spend with Namjoon.

They had all put so much time into spending time with him, it meant the world to him, that people would actually do something like that… for him.

“Thank you, for not just this with Mark, but for doing so much for me, for accepting me, and for actually wanting me here.”  It meant so much to Namjoon while being with Kyung and Jiho it was easier to accept that the two of them had wanted to court Namjoon even before he had presented, but this wasn’t them, this was the Block B member that had the least connection to him.

But this Block B member was still smiling up at him with a big smile and open body language, moving closer to him before standing in front of him, just to frown “okay I didn’t think this through, could you please bow down a little?”

Namjoon still confused about what was going on, but he did as Taeil said bowing down a little, just for Taeil to put a hand on each side of his face and push his own very soft lips against Namjoon’s. It wasn’t the first time Taeil had kissed Namjoon, they had had sleepy soft making out in bed just earlier that morning, but this was a different kind of kiss.

When Taeil broke the kiss he still kept their faces close “I promise you, this is not Jiho and Kyung’s choice… This is our choice, we want you, all of us want you.” he seemed to realize what he was saying as he quickly started to back track “Not that you are a thing that can be had or something to be owned! You are a human person and not something for somebody to own, we know and respect that!”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling at that, he knew that Taeil hadn’t meant it like that, but it still felt nice for him to say “I understand, I never thought about it like that.” he couldn’t stop himself from pressing a soft kiss to the tip of Taeil’s nose, giggling a little more as the older scrunched him his face.

It felt good to go back to Block B after that, turned out that half of the group was still sleeping when they got home, which was kinda impressive, since it was mid day, but they both accepted it cuddling up on the couch with Jihoon, which was a challenge since while Taeil was a tiny human being, both of the others measure 180+ cms, but it was okay they got it to work. Well, they got it to work for 20 minutes before Jihoon got a cramp in his leg and managed to kick all three of the off said couch, making everybody involve laugh loud enough for a sleepy Jiho to stick his head into the living room staring at them like they had personally insulted his mother.

The three all ended up taking out the army of tiny dogs for a walk while the rest of Block B got themselves out of bed, Jihoon would tell that that the reason that they had ended up so tired was that seeing Jiho and Kyung again had started some sexcapade that had lasted into the late night hours.

The walk with the dogs, did in all honesty turn into a minor photo op as they all took turns posing with the tiny adorable creatures and Namjoon ended uploading a few of the pictures onto twitter together with his outfit of the day, kinda hoping that Army’s would notice that it wasn’t his own hoodie.

He still wasn’t ready to see people’s comments so he logged out after having checked what everybody else had uploaded, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he saw Jungkook as well had uploaded a picture with a tiny dog and a link to the shelter he borrow it from, Jimin had uploaded a picture of himself and Baekhyun both omegas covered in paintball gear and small dots of paints from where they were hit.

But what really made Namjoon’s heart race, but also made a smile show on his face was Yoongi, he had just uploaded one picture and some test, it was a picture for a business card to a physiatrist and the text was, ‘it’s never too late to get help.’

He knew that the smile on his face was probably stupid and dopey looking, but he couldn’t stop himself, this was the first real-life sign that he had from Yoongi since… before his heart attack, Bang PD-nim had told him what was going on, cause of course he had, Namjoon was the leader of BTS for a reason, but this was a real-life sign, and it was much more important as a sign of Yoongi actually getting the help he needed.

While Namjoon disagreed with most people saying Yoongi had abused him, he didn’t see it like that Yoongi had simply done what anybody in his situation would have done, but even tho he could see this and knew that Yoongi loved his pack, he was also glad that Yoongi was getting professional help, there was clearly thing in the olders past that he needed help dealing with. Namjoon had gotten a brief explanation of a lot of the things from Bang PD-nim, and he was almost a 100 percent sure that was only the tip of the issues.

Seeing everybody slowly healing, both through meeting them at practice, but also on social media was making Namjoon have hope in the pack, while he didn’t know if he would end up joining the pack, he wanted them to be a strong and loving pack even without him.

When they got back to the Block B dorm it was 2 pm and every member of said pack had actually managed to drag themselves up from the big comfortable bed in their nest, and Jihoon couldn’t stop himself from poking a little at the Block B omega, Jaehyo looked nothing like his glamorous self, his normally styled hair was in a birdnest and his yawning was without a doubt unattractive, but he still looked so… homely.

And Namjoon had never thought he looked more attractive, one of the first things people pointed out about Jaehyo was how the omega was the perfect idol and model, and he had taken that to hard over the years, he always tried his best to look the most put together, but a moment like this where he clearly didn’t care if Namjoon saw him less than perfect way, he was happy letting Namjoon see him as his homely mess.

Which was amazing, Jaehyo often had a sharp edge when he was all ‘dolled up’, but like this, yawning and leaning most of his weight on Yukwon who was feeding him small bits of fruit, at that moment he was just a soft omega… no, that was wrong, just a soft man, who wish that they had let him get a few more hours of sleep cause waking up sucked massive donkey dick.

Everybody else seemed to have relaxed as well, as they lightly talked while eating, Namjoon joined them nipping at small pieces of fruit, he still had a hard time to eat something more sugary and greasy, but while he could clearly feel everybody's eyes at him when they thought he wasn’t aware, nobody spoke up about it and seemed to be happy with the amount of food he was taken in, or maybe they understood that he really was trying his best.

As the meal ended, everybody kinda scattered around the dorm, doing whatever they were feeling like, if it was gaming, writing lyrics, cleaning or creeping on fan sites, cause Namjoon would never forget how Jiho openly admitted to reading FanFiction and expressing his disappointment if that was all BBC’S had.

Cause it was totally normal to react to reading fanfiction about yourself and thinking, yeah this needs more porn and more of everything. Sometimes Namjoon really questioned the sanity of Jiho.

Namjoon ended up sitting in another room on the floor listening to Minhyuk play the piano while he himself tried to get some writing done, he was still in a stage of everything he wrote basically being a very cheesy love story, wish he ended up texting Wonshik about, he was the omega he knew the best who also wrote a lot of lyrics himself.

Turned out that being a giant sap for love songs after heat was completely normal, well that would be a pain in Namjoon’s ass moving forward, but it was okay, he could learn to live with it. Maybe BTS did need some sappy love ballets, maybe he could write something Seokjin’s voice fit better to make sure the older got more lines, now that was a good idea.

The day went on like that, everybody was just relaxing, and Namjoon felt… calm and at ease, nobody was forcing him to be the ‘main focus’, people would come and sit with him to listen to Minhyuk play for a few moments like they would any other person, and Minhyuk himself would stop at times and ask Namjoon’s opinion.

Overall, while the dorm was alive it felt less like he was the guest and more like he was apart of it, like his place there was natural and normal, while yes he could still at times feel people lingering, clearly wondering if they should say more or not, but in the end everybody seemed happy to let him just… be there, and Namjoon enjoyed it. While he liked and needed affection and stuff like that, he wasn’t happy being the center of attention.

As the sun set and the late evening started, they all gathered around the table in the kitchen in high spirit to end up eating, and Namjoon once again felt the sense of familiarity, he was there yes, Kyung’s soft hand on his thigh petting it while they were waiting for their turn to be able to take some food was a clear sign that he was there, loved and not ignored, but he wasn’t the center of attention either, and Namjoon enjoyed that.

They all had practiced the next day, and Namjoon was looking over his schedule making sure that he was also texting everybody else their schedule, just like he had always done, it was part of his job as a leader, he did feel guilty that he wasn’t with his group, that he wasn’t there to make sure that they actually left for their practice.

Jiho seemed to be the quickest person to catch onto Namjoon feels as he left the bathroom, smelling fresh and like mint toothpaste mixed with his own natural scent “something wrong? Bad news?”

The younger omega just shrugged his head “no it’s just… I feel guilty.” There was no point in lying to Jiho, he simply knew Namjoon way to well to actually ever believe him “I am not there to make sure that they get to their schedule, that they got up in the morning and other things like that.” guilt felt heavy in Namjoon throat.

It all really wasn’t made better by the weird way Jiho was looking at him, like he couldn’t actually understand what Namjoon was saying “Joonie… That is not your job, I understand your burden as a group leader myself, but that is not your job, what they do before practice and when they have no more schedule in the end of the day, that is not your responsibility. I know that we all live together in the start and majority of us will keep doing it, but that does not change the fact that it is your job, kpop is your job not your life. Making sure that they wake up and get to work is their own job, they are all adults, and if you have to make somebody do it, it is their pack alpha’s job.” Jiho had sat himself down next to Namjoon, looking at the turned off phone in his hand “it is hard, but even if you end up back with BTS in their pack, this is not your job, if you try to do everything and be everything for them, you will never let them grow up and have responsibility, you are already giving them their schedule which is your job, but you can’t hold their hand and make sure they get to it, you aren’t their mother, they are adults.”

Namjoon looked at where Jiho had put his hand on top of his own “I just feel like… I want to what is best for them, they deserve the world."

“They do, but you can not baby them. Let’s run an example, let’s say you end up joining… uhm,” Jiho didn’t want to say themselves or anybody else that was actually courting Namjoon, afraid that it would seem like he was pushing an agenda “Big Bang, let’s use that as an example, while yes you would spend some night with BTS and your time where you would be in other countries with BTS, but majority of the nights… you would be with your new pack, cause this is the people you love and adore, you wouldn’t want to be every night with BTS even tho they are still some of your closest friends and almost brothers, when you finished your schedule that day, you would head home to Big Bang and they would head home to their dorms. At your pack you would talk about your day and everything else normal like that. That is how a normal pack works, kpop is not the ‘natural’ way of creating a pack, we end up in packs cause we spend so much time with each other that our inner alpha’s, beta’s and omegas can’t imagine us with anybody else, but in what other industry than kpop do you see this happen?

Sports teams are like this, cause they often swap members, an office isn’t like this, as a group leader, as any kind of leader. You need time off from being a leader, I don’t know how people like Jaebum and Yongguk does it, they are magic I assume, but you aren’t like that, I am not like that, G Dragon isn’t like that, Hakyeon isn’t like that. We are humans, not magical alphas who I assume shit unicorn eggs.”

Jiho was clearly getting more and more into his speech as he kept going on, it was clearly something he was passionate about, but Namjoon kind of understood it, “You are right, It’s just… I want the best for them.”

“And you can give them the best by being the leader when you need to, you can’t do that if you burn yourself out by worrying of Jungkook wipes his bottom with the right brand of baby wipes and if Taehyung gets his teddy bear before sleeping. This is not your job, I don’t care what other people say and do, I strongly believe that the leader of a group should not play pack alpha, it is our job to at times be the dick, to at times be the person who is the bad guy, who pushes people to be there best. Yes, sometimes they all get annoyed with me when I ask them to keep recording and try again even if they think it’s perfect, but Yukwon picks up the slag and makes sure that they know that it is just work.” Jiho turned Namjoon’s hand  in his so he could intertwine their fingers, and his voice was a lot softer when he kept going to his next line “I don’t want you to burn out and hurt yourself by taking on more than what you need to.”

At that Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from laughing in a light-hearted tone “but aren’t you the person who overworks himself all the times without thinking about his own health.”

“I am, which is why I am not a pack alpha when stuff like that happens… I have my pack alpha to set his foot down and stop me from doing it and from hurting myself, and I hope whoever ends up being your pack alpha… They can do the same for you, cause it’s okay to need that.” Jiho’s voice was soft and almost like a caress.

Namjoon thought about it, he thought about that alpha being, Yoongi, or Jaebum, or maybe soft soft Minhyuk, or Yongguk… or maybe… just maybe it could be Yukwon. Poor guy tho, having to deal with both Jiho and Namjoon, but something told Namjoon that he could do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know no G Dragon yet, I think I explained myself bad last time! I didn't mean that Jiyong would be their next chapter, but that he would be there soon!
> 
> Teaser for people:
> 
> The next person to make Namjoon cry in fear... is Jiho


	89. Your lips that whispered ‘i love you, i love you’..I….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is actually some BTS in this one XD

The next few days went on like… like everything was back to normal, Namjoon would wake up together with whoever had the same training times as he did, he would try and eat at least some food, and then leave for practice.

At the Big Hit buildings, he would get to meet with the rest of BTS, and Namjoon couldn’t be happier with what he saw, he knew that it was over half the time before they left for Japan done at that point, and he had never been more proud of his group before.

Jungkook had come up to him, and when Namjoon had asked him to record the lines Jiyong had suggested he had expected Jungkook to blow up, the baby alpha clearly hated being told by an omega what to do, he had expected it to blow up, but it never did. Jungkook just nodded, a little hesitant asking if it could wait until tomorrow because he didn’t want to stay late into the evening or night.

Namjoon had of course asked why, coursing Jungkook to seeming a little shy as he awkwardly shifted his weight from foot to foot, but still telling Namjoon the truth about how Wonshik was in preheat, but the rest of Vixx didn’t know cause Hakyeon was in heat and if Wonshik’s joined in he would get really bad sympathy heat and Jungkook didn’t want to leave him alone.

All Namjoon could do was hug him close, tell him how proud he was of him and then wave him on his wave. Jungkook had also said how he wanted the first real omega heat he was with, to be Jimin’s, Jungkook didn’t need to say it, but it was clear to Namjoon that he felt guilty for how he had acted before. Yeah, Vixx had been good for him, he should get Vixx a fruit basket, or five.

And right before he left, Jungkook turned around at the door of the studio smiling at Namjoon and telling him with the most sincere tone, that he smelled really nice and that he was happy seeing him slowly get healthy, and then run away with flaring cheeks, leaving Namjoon was an equally strong blush.

Then there was Hoseok, Hoseok was wearing… a tank top as he was teaching Namjoon, something that never happened, Namjoon knew about Hoseok’s scars just as he knew about Hoseok being the adopted son of Bang PD-nim, of course, he did, he was the leader of BTS for a reason and he was trusted with these informations.

Namjoon took one look at the scars, those pale horrible scars that Namjoon could see just on the edge of his shoulders, and then smiled at Hoseok, non of them had to talk about it, Hoseok knew that he was accepted and loved for who he was.

The fact that Hoseok was comfortable, maybe not with the world, fuck it maybe not with half his own pack but was comfortable with himself and Namjoon, and a few others. That was the biggest gift anybody could give their beloved sunshine, cause there was sunshine back in his eyes.

He still clearly had some trouble with himself being an alpha and it was too much to expect every issue Hoseok had to be fixed in just over a month, but he had still gotten so far, and Namjoon was so damn proud of him.

Seokjin… Seokjin was back, that was all Namjoon could think, he himself felt ashamed that he hadn’t actually noticed just how much of Seokjin they had almost lost, no not almost, that they had lost Seokjin for a while.

While everybody in BTS had problems, it had been so easy to ignore Seokjin’s, cause they weren’t big physically, they weren’t Hoseok’s scars, Jimin’s starving himself and pulling at his body in the mirror, it wasn’t Jungkook’s anger nor Taehyung not being there at all, Seokjin’s problems weren’t his entire life as Yoongi’s was.

And because of that, because it was easier to ignore, people had ignored it, and slowly they had lost Seokjin’s spark more and more. As Namjoon himself was slowly healing himself and his mind, he had realized just how far pushed and shoved Seokjin was. He was the only beta in BTS who wanted to be a beta in a pack that desperately needed beta’s, he had done so much and been neglected in return, Seokjin was the beta, the oldest person and early on a parental figure for the maknae line.

He always had their pack, and Namjoon was ashamed of how they didn’t have his, Namjoon had tried his best, but he had failed, he knew that he was getting painted as a victim by most people, but he was part of the pack as well that point, even if it was unofficial and not real, and he had let Seokjin down.

But Seokjin was getting better, he was smiling more, he would come to Namjoon’s studio making sure that Namjoon was eating, always with a joke on hand and a soft smile, and that smile actually reached his eyes. Namjoon for his eagerly asked questions back, he got to meet Seokjin’s new puppy a gift from TVXQ, and they joked together. It felt good, Seokjin still flinched away from an argument, but he was getting better. The big difference was that he admitted it, he straight up admitted he had high functioning social anxiety.

Namjoon would notice the habits coming from that condition, he would apologize for everything, he would have a hard time making eye contact with people, while he was clearly trying with Namjoon everybody else he was avoiding it with, he would arrive way before their plans in fear of being late. That habit was especially terrible for an idol, they were always running halfway late to something, but Namjoon was more aware of it now and he tried to help Seokjin along with it… and so did Jimin.

Tiny wonderful Jimin, the proudest moment that Namjoon had was when Jimin neck chopped Sehun who was coming to pick him up, not cause violence was a good thing, but because it was the first time really that Namjoon had seen him stand up to an alpha, and there was no doubt Sehun was an alpha. He was much taller than Jimin and his scent was strong, but he just laughed at Jimin, it turned out that Sehun wasn't even supposed to pick Jimin up, he was supposed to be home an relaxing, something he had ignored to pick up Jimin.

Jimin had scowled at him, leaving a laughing Sehun to pick him up and throw him over his shoulder and Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Jimin was the other side of the coin to Yoongi, he didn’t know if Jimin was naturally like that or if it came from Yoongi, but he was stuck in this traditional view of alphas and omega’s.

But Namjoon was almost one hundred percent sure that it wasn’t natural, there were moments in the past where Jimin stood up for himself, for omegas. Hakyeon had told Namjoon about what Jungkook had told him, about what happened in the hospital to trigger Jungkook to go to them.

So Jimin could stand up for himself, he just really had to be pushed, and that wasn’t healthy, Namjoon wanted him to feel worthy of respect. He still got updates through Junmyeon and Chanyeol, what surprised him, was that both of them… thanked Namjoon for sending Jimin there.

Apparently, Jimin had been a great help not just to Baekhyun, but also to Sehun and Minseok who had been struggling since Lu Han left them and Mark rejected them, and Jimin had helped them open up again. Namjoon was so proud of Jimin, he got even more proud as he saw a picture on social media of Jongdae stuffing rice in Jimin’s mouth both laughing.

And then there was Tae, Taehyung was doing… better, it seemed it was slow, but it was getting better. Just like Seokjin, it kinda felt like they were getting their Taehyung back, and Taehyung for his… didn’t seem happy to wait until it was their turn to court Namjoon.

There had been one… moment… it had been in the dance studio, while Taehyugn wasn’t part of the dance line, he was still a lot better than Namjoon and since both dancers were busy (Jimin with Taemin of all people) and Hoseok with Yoseob’s heat. That dance session had ended with Namjoon pressed against a mirrored wall and warm kisses being exchanged. While neither of them had planned it and it didn’t go further than that, it still felt like it was a good place to start, for normality.

He had seen glimpses of Yoongi, it wasn’t like he had just dropped off the face of the earth, but those glimpses was the older alpha quickly running away, it was clear that he wasn’t yet ready to speak to Namjoon or to the rest of them, so Namjoon wasn’t gonna force himself onto Yoongi.

He expected that Yoongi was gonna come to them when he was ready, and anything before that would jeopardy Yoongi’s mental health and he wasn’t gonna risk that. Yoongi should get the time he needs to heal.

But even noticing these things, even with everything getting better, Namjoon was still so happy when he got to go back to Block B at the end of the day, with an army of dogs and soft voices with a happy tone. Namjoon wasn’t sure if it was cause he loved them as friends, as lovers, cause his inner omega had picked them or cause they were simply the thing his inner omega knew the best, but at that moment it didn’t really matter for Namjoon. He was happy and safe, he liked going to bed at night cuddled up next to a scent he was so familiar with and loved waking up in the morning with it.

Of course, that couldn’t last, Namjoon knew that he knew that there was something that Jiho wanted him to deal with, and as Namjoon came home one day after only a short day of work, Jiho, Kyung, and Yukwon were sitting around the table clearly waiting for him.

Jiho patted the chair next to him “come to sit down.” Namjoon was hesitant, he knew they weren’t about to tell him to leave, he knew now that they would never do it like that, but he couldn’t stop himself from being worried that he had done something wrong.

Kyung smiled at him, reaching for Namjoon’s hand over the table “nothing is wrong.” damn Kyung always knew his way to well, it was almost scary.

“What is wrong then?” Namjoon let his fingers intertwined with Kyung's to relax, his hands almost completely covering the much smaller hand of the beta.

Jiho seemed a little hesitant as everybody was looking at him to speak, but in the end he ended up sighing and speaking up “We want to talk to you about something, we have talked about your eating disorder and a lot of other things, well we haven’t everybody else has, but there is one thing that we need to talk to, we can’t just all keep ignoring it, it has had a negative effect on you and it is the course of everything that happened.” Oh no, Jiho wanted to talk about the thing Namjoon wanted to talk about the least.

It seemed like they could all see it in Namjoon’s face, and Kyung started running his thumb over Namjoon’s hand in a calming movement “I know you don’t want to talk about this, I know that it is a painful memory, but we have to talk about this, if we just keep ignoring it, this could happen again. You didn’t present cause you accepted the past and moved on, it was forced into you.” he looked at Namjoon with soft eyes and calming smile “We are worried about you, about what could happen to you mentally if you don’t deal with this. What happened to make you reject your subgender is important.”

Namjoon looked away from them to the table in front of him “I don’t hate my subgender, I like being an omega, it’s hard at times, but I like being an omega.” Which was the truth, he was slowly coming to rest in himself.

“We trust you, and we know that you have started to like being an omega, but do you still like it next time you talk to Iron? Or Kidoh? Or Marvel J? And they start giving you shit, start saying their utter bullshit about how omega’s doesn’t belong in rap? We don’t want you to end back up there, we worry about you.” it was actually Yukwon that was speaking up, and it was clear, he might not really be Daenamhyup’s biggest fans, or maybe he wasn’t a big underground rap fan, or maybe he wasn’t a fan of close-minded bigots.

Probably a little bit of all of them, “Daenamhyup haven’t tried to hurt me, they are part of my crew.”

At that Jiho laughed, “They will never see you an equal and you know that Kidoh has chilled a little now, but the rest?” the beta’s laugh sounded kinda hollow “we both know that they are shitbags, they judge us for being idols, they judge us for being a certain subgender, unless we are exactly the same as them they judge us.”

Namjoon knew Jiho was right, but that didn’t mean that he had to like it, he knew that it was how most of the underground rap scene was, he had experienced it most of his time there, “it’s not like I have time to spend time with them anyway, I haven’t seen them since forever.”

“We wanna change that.”

Now that was not what Namjoon had expected, he had expected for Jiho to recommend never seeing them again, to avoid the rap scene and just be happy with himself, “what?”

“We want you to meet up with a few of the people from your old crew.” that actually made Namjoon look up at him as Jiho continued “We talked with both your psychiatrist and another, and they agree that you meeting and coming to term with your past will help you come to terms with it.”

To be honest, Namjoon didn’t know how to feel about it, “who do you want me to meet.”

“Iron, he is the easiest person to get to agree to come, and Supreme Boi as well, but he is there is a median factor, something both you and Iron are used to. I would be there as well, and then we recommend that you invite another friend there, somebody you can trust to understand what is going on, but can also stay calm.”

That was what had started it and set it off, Namjoon had agreed to it, while he felt hesitant about it, he also knew that it was a good idea, but that lead to one big issue. Who should he bring to this meeting, it was already set up, he knew he needed and wanted a friend there, but he didn’t have many friends who would even understand the underground rap scene.

In the term of Namjoon had no idea how his life ended like it did he was working in the studio and on his couch was Daesung, it wasn’t completely abnormal to see one of the two youngest Big Bang members hanging around Namjoon, or Namjoon going to meet them, but that didn’t mean that Namjoon had any damn idea why either wanted to hang out with him.

That wasn’t Namjoon’s issue that day, he couldn’t focus on the music he was working on as he was hitting his head on the keyboard in annoyance, he needed to pick somebody soon, why did it have to be so hard. He didn’t know who he could pick, he didn’t know what was fitting, he didn’t want to play favorites either.

He let out a groan of annoyance, course Daesung to look up from the stuff he was working on “Joonie? What’s wrong?”

Had this been from the first times they had met, Namjoon wouldn’t have said anything, but after his heat, he had grown a lot closer to the two youngest and he felt comfortable enough to actually talk about his problems without thinking that he was coming off as whiny, so he explained everything to Daesung.

For a moment Daesungs facial expression stilled “and you don’t know who to bring?” Namjoon nodded.

“I want somebody who can understand why this is so important, somebody who understands the underground rap scene, but I also don’t want to play favorites, why is this so hard?” Namjoon voice was slightly whiny, and he had moved from his chair unto the couch next to the older omega, Daesung’s scent was just really nice and calming when he was frustrated.

Daesung let Namjoon cuddle up to him, who was he to deny a cute omega in distress, he had a solution, but he also knew that he had to pick his words with care, he didn’t want to push his boundaries, “I think I might have an idea, that is if you really don’t have any ideas.”

“I don’t, my only idea was Jiho and he is already going, or maybe Kyung, but he said it wouldn’t be a good idea to bring both him and Jiho.” Namjoon had relaxed a little more at that point, letting Daesung stroke his hair like the older often enjoyed. He had once joked that they actually matched in some form, with Namjoon’s purple hair and Daesung’s blue.

“I think I know a person who would be perfect, I can send him to you tomorrow and then you can decide if you think it’s a good match.” Daesung wasn’t straight up gonna say who it was, he knew Namjoon enough that he would just deny the help, that was just the person the younger was.

For a second Namjoon was a little disappointed that Daesung didn’t offer himself or Youngbae, he knew both of them would have been terrible choices since neither had any connection to the underground rap world, but they both made him feel so relaxed and calm, something about the two olders scent was just… calming.

“You aren’t gonna tell me who it is?” Namjoon tried his best attempt at aegyo, but Daesung just laughed, giving him a hug.

“You and Seunghyun should get together and write the book of aegyo that really don’t have any right to be cute, but is actually adorable.” at that Namjoon knew there was no way he was getting anything out of Daesung, but that was okay he trusted the older and knew that he would never send somebody to Namjoon didn’t want the best for him. Should he be slightly worried about just how much he trusted Daesung after only having known him for this short amount of time? Yeah probably, but then again, Daesung was his omega Yoda. It was fine! Right?

Namjoon returned home to Block B that evening after Daesung got a text that he was late to dinner, cause turned out that dinner together was something very high and holy in the Big Bang pack, since all of them more or less had stuff to do alone they had a rule that unless you were physical too far away you came home for dinner, Namjoon found it adorable.

The evening with Block B was just as soft and amazing as every other evening, he had ended up sitting with Yukwon and repeatedly beating the older alpha in card games over and over. People seemed to always underestimate him, did they forget he was one of the highest ranked students when he graduated? Anybody halfway decent at math could easily count card.

As the night came close and everybody started nodding off at the places they were sitting everybody more or less agreed on bedtime, Namjoon ended up being almost aggressively cuddled by Yukwon, who claimed that Namjoon owed it to him after destroying him at cards.

Not that Namjoon was ever gonna deny it, Yukwon was nice to cuddle with, the alpha seemed to be a little less afraid of not treating him like glass. He would hug Namjoon a little stronger than everybody else, maybe it was cause he was an alpha, but Namjoon was pretty sure it was just a Yukwon thing, especially since Yukwon treated everybody else like that as well.

That was the thing he was really appreciating of Yukwon, the pack alpha treated Namjoon like he would any other member of his pack, other than that one time that he came to Namjoon studio with a puppy and flowers to keep him company, which was weird, but who was Namjoon to judge Yukwon for how he wanted to court somebody, the flowers did die tho… very fast… like everything else in Namjoon’s studio, that place was not made for life, other than the life of all the bacteria in it. Cause yeah… that was without a doubt alive, he really should clean.

Next day, Namjoon was working alone in the dance studio and actively hating himself, he had been with Taehyung earlier, but the younger had seen Jimin head to vocal practice and his heart eyes as the tiny omega walked past was enough to send Taehyung on his way. At first Taehyung, even tho he clearly wanted to go, had said no, but Namjoon had pushed him there anyway, it was important for the BTS pack to heal, they couldn’t court anybody if they weren’t healed, that was enough to send Taehyung chasing after Jimin's tail… well, ass not tail.

Namjoon wanted many things in life, but one of the few things he didn’t want was for G Dragon to watch him fall on his covered in sweat attempting a dance move, which… cause the universe was against him… that was exactly what was happened, Namjoon from the ground heard a light laugh at the door, and there… was Jiyong.

Well… fuck the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter the plan is Namjoon's talk with GD and Namjoon's talk with Iron, which not looking forward to write that, I can't even stand looking at his face let alone having to write him.


	90. But like a joke, I am left alone, You used to promise m,e With your pinky finger, But in the end...Nothing ever lasts forever In the end, you changed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little bit longer than normal!

“Jiyong-hyung!” he had talked to Jiyong on the phone, mainly through either Daesung. Youngbae or Seungri, and he after the 10th time Jiyong insisted that he should call him Jiyong-hyung instead of something much much more respectful Namjoon had just given in. This was G Dragon after all, what was he gonna do? Argue with him?

Jiyong was leaning against the wall laughing a little into his hand as he was trying to hold it back “not the best dancer?”

Namjoon wanted to just burry himself in a whole, why did the older have to see that, “can you just… forget that.” wow his voice was fucking whiny, he almost sounded like 17-year-old Jungkook when they called him to dinner mid game.

“It wasn’t that bad! I have seen Seunghyun do worse, maybe it’s a tall people thing, you have no control over your spaghetti limbs.” Namjoon had come to learn that Jiyong’s form of humor was a light teasing with a bit of snark to it, at first it had made Namjoon a little afraid, that first meeting with Jiyong still fresh in his mouth.

After that tho, Namjoon had gotten used to it, even enjoyed Jiyong’s slight banter, it felt like the older alpha was treating him as Kim Namjoon the idol instead of Kim Namjoon the omega. It was refreshing, Jiyong clearly didn’t give 5 shits about his subgender, but he seemed to like Namjoon as a person, not that it explained why one of the busiest idols was standing watching him dance laughing a little to himself.

Namjoon himself laughed a little, he had seen fancams of Seunghyun, he was indeed a terrible dancer, also meaning Namjoon understood him on a higher level “what are you doing here?” somehow he didn’t connect it to what Daesung had told him.

“Taking you out for dinner if you feel like it,” Jiyong grinned that half wolfish smile at Namjoon “as friends of course!” he was quick at adding, clearly not wanting to make Namjoon uncomfortable with even making it sound like it was for something more.

To be honest, Namjoon was surprised by that, the offer to go eat that be, not the fact that it was as friends of course “I would love to!”

It was G Dragon! Of course, Namjoon would love to. He knew he probably looked as eager as a puppy getting taken for a walk, but Jiyong seemed not to care “you should probably shower first tho.”

Namjoon at that point realized that he was covered in sweat and disgusting, oh god Jiyong saw him like that! “I am just gonna… quickly shower.” he knew that his cheeks were flushed red in embarrassment, but the olders laugh weren’t mean-spirited.

He had never showered as fast before in his life, but he felt weird letting Jiyong wait for HIM, it really should be the other way around, slapping on a quick pair of jeans and a quick tower drying his hair he left the bathroom joining back up with Jiyong.

Yes, there had been moments in his life where he looked better and he was wearing no makeup, but making Jiyong wait was just… wrong, he was goddamn G Dragon, well Namjoon was repeating that a lot wasn’t he? His hair had only had a quick towel dry and was still wet in the ends and he was pretty sure that he would have purple dye on his shirt since he hair was still bleeding.

Jiyong was standing leaning at the wall tapping along on his face, completely ignoring Jungkook was creeping around the corner at him, clearly wanting a view of his idol even if said idol had insulted him last time “oh Namjoon, ready to leave?” Now that wasn’t fair, Jiyong was already an extremely successful and talented idol, why did he have such a pretty smile as well! It wasn’t fair!

Namjoon eagerly nodded “yes!” he was still curious as to why Jiyong was even there to talk with him, let alone actually court him, but damn who was he to question a good thing? Food and goddamn Jiyong.

He let himself be guided by Jiyong, he wasn’t aware of where the alpha was taking him and he couldn’t get himself to ask, just following the older like a duckling. Jiyong ended up showing him to an expensive sushi place, “they sell amazing spicy Sushi, plus we lose half our pack to Japan so many times that I started getting sushi when they were gone to feel closer to them, now I just like the food.” Jiyong explained himself with a smile.

So Jiyong was also adorable, the world was unfair.

They only just entered, as a waitress came to show them to their table, setting a menu down before only Jiyong, which did make Namjoon feel a little salty, he was an adult!

Jiyong saw this and just grinned at him “I want to show you some food, that is why you don’t have one. Every time I eat out with people they always order something they are comfortable with instead of trying something new! I want you to try something new and exciting.”

Now that made sense didn’t stop Namjoon from pouting tho “I am an adult as well.”

The older just shrugged “I know you are, this isn’t about treating you as a child, it’s about treating you to a meal.” he looked outside the window seeming to realize something getting a regrettable facial expression “Oh god I forgot about them, uhm… so if dispatch reports tomorrow that you are getting courted by us don’t think about it too much, they overthink everything, I am sorry I didn’t think about it.” he sounded regrettable and very sorry.

Namjoon wasn’t angry, rumors that Big Bang was courting somebody was far from new, so he shrugged “It is better than yet another rumor of Seungri leaving?” He knew that it was a thing that actually really hurt the pack, and it was way to often just cause Seungri was an affectionate person with half the world as his friends.

Jiyong seemed to pick up on the fact that Namjoon actually meant it and was taking it well “Dispatch is having a feel day trying to guess who you will join anyway, they might have a field day with this,” he grinned at Namjoon, ordering food for him and Namjoon when the waitress came to ask for their order.

Namjoon waited until she was gone before asking Jiyong “It’s not that I don’t appreciate this, I really do, but why did you want to see me?”

“What if I just wanted to treat you well? Maybe I am jealous that my pack mates seem to enjoy time with you and I just scared you?” he was clearly teasing Namjoon, but it didn’t stop the younger from blushing a little.

“hyung!”

“Okay okay okay, Daesung told us that you didn’t know who you should bring with you to meet Iron and he thought that maybe I could be a good choice, and I agree with him, if you feel comfortable with it, I might be the best choice since I can understand what you are going through more than most, yes I might not be an omega, but half the world was convinced I was gonna be one and I have been in the underground rap scene for a while, which is weird since I was a trainee from before I was 10 years old. It is almost like the scene makes its own rules and really first hates you when you are more popular than them. Cause the more I grow up I realize everybody is just massive hypocrites and we should only really care about our friends and pack, and I will stop my ranting now.” Jiyong was clearly frustrated with it, but the thing was… Namjoon understood him.

God he understood him so much, they were hypocritical as fuck, he also agreed that Jiyong, after all, would be the perfect march for what Namjoon needed, he had clearly shown that he wanted to support the younger like Namjoon needed, but he was also quick thinking and quick-witted with vast experience to actually understand what Namjoon was going through. He was a perfect choice.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to waste your time, I am sure you are very busy.” Namjoon was a little shy about it, he still had a hard time accepting just how nice and friendly all of Big Bang was to him.

The waitress came with their food, placing plates in front of them before again leaving the two males in peace “I am sure, I have the time and I want to help you. You have been a good friend to Daesung and Seungri, plus Youngbae really liked you, but I will not lie I am not completely unselfish, I and Iron have… history and I think me being there will probably keep him in line before he goes too overboard and is too much himself.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from defending Iron “he isn’t that bad, he is just a little rough on the surface.”

“No he is a shit person, he hit one of the omegas in his new pack, it’s not public knowledge, but I know the girl he hit. It’s another reason I want to be there, I am not gonna lie to you, I am worried about what he could do if you guys push him to hard especially if he has gotten something to drink.” Jiyong reached across the table to rest his hand on top of Namjoon’s.

It made Namjoon realize one thing that he already knew, but it was weird to think about. Jiyong was tiny, like… Tiny tiny, he was without a doubt shorter than his official height, but he was also very skinny. Namjoon knew that Jiyong suffered from being overly skinny when he worked too much, he didn’t have an eating disorder, but it was more of… forgetting to eat, he had heard both Daesung and Seungri talking about it worried.

And he had tiny long-fingered hands much paler than Namjoon, Jiyongs hand looked weird resting on top of Namjoon’s and he could feel the callouses on Jiyongs fingertips from using a computer all day. Namjoon couldn’t really comprehend what Jiyong was saying, it was the reason that he was choosing to focus on his hand instead, he had never imagined Iron as a violent person “is she okay? The omega?”

Jiyong shrugged “I don’t know, to be honest, she went back to the pack, I hope she is okay, but you never now. I hope it was a one-time thing, but again… we will never know, it is another reason that I would like to go with you. If you would have me of course?”

“Of course! I would be honored to!” Namjoon was almost falling over his own words to answer Jiyong, but the alpha didn’t react as Namjoon expected, instead, a frown spread over his pretty features.

“I don’t want you to agree to this cause you think you have to, just cause I am G dragon if you don’t feel comfortable with it or you would prefer somebody else I am not gonna be insulted I want what is best and most comfortable for you.” His hand was still resting on top of Namjoon.

That lead Namjoon to think over things for a second, what did he actually want. It didn’t take him long to decide what he actually wanted “I want you there, I didn’t know who to ask, you just seem like the best person now that you really want to.”

Jiyong seemed to accept that “that is settled then, let’s enjoy our meal while you are here, I and everybody else are always so busy, it’s nice to just sit down with somebody and eat.”

To that all Namjoon could do was agree.

That was how he ended up giving Jiyong a promise that when a date and time was settled he would give the alpha a call so they could work it out. He also got Jiyong’s number and told that he could call Jiyong at any time, even if he just wanted to talk or if he needed help with something.

What had Namjoon’s life become, this was just crazy.

He probably looked pretty shell-shocked when he got home to Block B, Jaehyo was the only one there when Namjoon came home, and the scare with Mark seemed to have made him a little sensitive towards issues with omegas “Did something happen? Are you okay? If it was that shitty alpha’s from BTS we can fix it! Their bodies don't even have to be found again.” well that was probably a thing Namjoon should question later.

He didn’t know why, but his instinct was always to defend the BTS alpha’s they weren’t as bad as everybody kept thinking and believing, they were just misunderstood, even Jungkook and Yoongi! “I got G Dragon’s phone number… He told me to call him even if I just wanted to talk, or get advice.”

“Oh…” Jaehyo grinned at that “that does explain why Dispatch reports you are joining Big Bang, it was a fun read.”

Namjoon did a half thing between groaning and whining as he threw himself down on the couch, the other omega quick to join him as he half threw himself on top of Namjoon, okay not really threw, but more placed himself so he could cuddle the younger. Namjoon couldn’t complain about that as he cuddled Jaehyo close to him, he really loved the older omega’s scent. It was so nice and unique and so fitting to the beautiful omega “so they have jumped straight to joining? Not even courting?”

“Nope they jumped straight on to you joining them,” Namjoon almost went into a long rant about how that was not what was happening and everything else, but the light smirk on Jaehyo’s lips showed that he was just teasing Namjoon that he was actually fully aware of the fact that Namjoon was not getting courted by the other pack.

“You should see twitter, Army’s are having giant theories and bets about which pack you are gonna end up joining, I know you aren’t ready to read comments, but the vast majority of people support and love you as an omega.” Jaehyo let Namjoon bury his face in his scent gland while he spoke, clearly feeling that the younger omega was a little shy about this topic “of course there are crazy fans, we all have those, that think either you are just saying you are an omega for attention or that they will stop supporting you if you aren’t joining BTS, but those are the minority and most other fans are speaking up against it. It is fun to see even Exo-L’s speaking up against it, then again they are used to Jongin not being part of it, but still being super close to the rest, maybe this brings people closer, probably not tho, I don’t know why you guys fans can’t get along.”

Namjoon couldn’t understand why Army’s and Exo-L’s couldn't just get along, they never seemed to have this issue with iGot7’s! Hopefully, it was helped a little that Jimin and seemingly every member of Exo enjoyed posting pictures with each other, Namjoon had even seen a video on Baekhyun’s Instagram of him talking while Jimin was sleeping on his shoulder, it was actually adorable.

It was nice to know that majority of their fans were supportive, he still didn’t feel ready to actually face fans and everybody else on social media, but he did try his best to keep social media updated. He wanted people, specifically omega’s, to feel better about themselves, he wasn’t sure if he could do it, but he himself had wanted people to look up to, and maybe hopefully… He could help people in his own position accepting that being an omega and having the same goals as he was okay. Maybe an omega would not follow in his footsteps later in their life, that was Namjoon’s hope. “Who else do people think I am joining?” he was curious.

“It is very equally split between everybody you have been with so far actually, different people can see different reasons for you to join different groups, there are people like hard core believing that you are gonna join Got7 since apparently they think you were already half with them before, then there is people who think you would work better with B.a.p since they understand you in a way the rest of us couldn’t cause of all the stuff they have gone through, and then there are people who think you are gonna join us, since you have known us much longer than everybody else, and we are more similar to you. Of course, there are also people who want you to join BTS, there are people who are nice about and people who are obsessive about it.” Jaehyo was holding himself up on his arms, looking down at Namjoon.

Before Namjoon got the chance to answer it, Jaehyo had pressed his soft lips to his in a breathtaking kiss. It was one of the things that Namjoon had really come to enjoy about Jaehyo, he didn’t question every second if Namjoon was okay with how he was kissing him, he trusted Namjoon to push him away or tell him to stop if it wasn’t.

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand and love the fact that everybody wanted to make sure that he was actually consenting to what was going on, no he loved that, but at times it could also feel like they didn’t trust him to know what he wanted. At times it felt like everybody was treating him as a child, it was understanding why, but it didn’t remove the slight annoyance.

Maybe it was cause he was an omega as well, or maybe it was just Jaehyo, but he seemed to understand why Namjoon felt that way as he sneaked his tongue into Namjoon’s mouth lowering his body a little bit so they had full bodily contact, Namjoon himself was eagerly responding running his hand through Jaehyo’s soft hair.

Easily said, it ended up with both of them finding their way to the bed for good tumble in the hay when they finished their first round they found Jihoon half creeping at the door, with his mouth open like he couldn’t even understand what his eyes were seeing.

Taking pity on the baby beta, who were older than Namjoon, but he was still the baby beta, pulling him into the nest as well as round two started. Namjoon liked how easy everything was, how comfortable and simple things were.

Everything stayed soft and comfortable as the three of them decided to try their hand at dinner to welcome home the rest of Block B, which went about as well as you would expect Namjoon in a kitchen went, so basically, the smoke alarm went off and they ended up ordering food instead.

Where B.a.p and Got7 had specific spots they slept in Block B were more, whoever felt like cuddling whoever, but Namjoon had to stop Jiho as he moved to cuddle him for the night coursing the older rapper to looked like a kicked puppy, Namjoon just pecking him on the cheek “Everybody else have missed you a lot, go and cuddle with people.”

It hadn’t required much brain to see how much the Block B pack had been missing Jiho, and looking at them welcoming him back had made Namjoon himself think that when he joined a pack himself he would have to be better, no more staying in the studio for multiple days without going home, he didn’t want to put whatever pack he joined to feel like Block B did.

Then again, he was saying that now, but realistically as soon as he was cleared to work full time again he would be back to being like that, but it was the thought that counted right? He ended up cuddling up to Minhyuk. Minhyuk was a good cuddler.

The next day Kyung informed Namjoon that their meeting with Iron and Supreme Boi was set to be in 3 days, giving Namjoon just enough time to text and inform Jiyong about it, the older alpha almost instantly texted back a promise to be there and a reminder that Namjoon could call him at any time if he needed to talk about anything.

The wait leading up to the meeting was… bad, Namjoon kept being worried, but he also kept thinking back to his past, to what had lead to it. It was something he had tried his best to ignore, with everybody blaming BTS for everything, it had been easy to ignore the real issue, but that was no longer an option.

Namjoon knew who it was important, why this was a huge massive thing that he could not ignore, but he was still worried about what was going to happen, Supreme Boi or Donghyuk as Namjoon knew him as, was not something he was worried about. Donghyuk had always been very chill and nice with Namjoon, plus since working more with BTS and the idol industry, in general, he was probably the most open-minded person from Namjoon old crew.

Donghyuk himself had actually come to the hospital and given Namjoon a hug, telling him that he didn’t think anything different of Namjoon. He had even apologized many times for the words and stuff he had said before either of them had presented. Namjoon didn’t blame him tho, it was clear that neither himself nor Dong-hyuk had issues with omega’s, but both had said things to attempt to fit in, Donghyuk a lot more convincingly than Namjoon was, but luckily Namjoon was a giant and with a tough haircut he could look hard as fuck. So no, he was sure that one of the ones that Namjoon was worried about meeting.

It was Iron he was worried about, Namjoon had liked him at first when they started out, no that was a lie he still liked Iron, it was just that… he could be a little bit extreme at times. He had often spoken up about how omega’s had no place in the rap scene, he had no problem with them being in music, cause while Iron was many things he wasn't backwatered, he just wasn’t fine with them as rappers. He hadn’t talked to the alpha since he himself had presented, and the fact that Iron had agreed to meet him made Namjoon worry.

For Jiho to seem as neutral as possible they had agreed that he would be there before everybody would meet, and Namjoon would arrive with Jiyong who had offered to pick him up at the BigHit building.

Namjoon felt slightly awkward as Jiyong opened the car door for him, even tho Namjoon had offered to just get an uber and meet the older alpha there, but Jiyong and Daesung who had been with him in the studio at the time of the phone call had insisted that Namjoon shouldn’t have to when the older could just pick him up. He felt even more awkward sitting in the car, hands on his lap attempting not to touch anything, worried that his destructive nature would get the better of him, Jiyong seemed to notice it, but he didn’t call out Namjoon instead starting up a comfortable conversation about whatever rap verse was being used in the idol song currently playing on the radio.

Talking to Jiyong, somebody he looked up to as a producer and rapper, about rap was still fucking mindblowing to Namjoon, and he knew that he was slightly awkward about it, but as the drive went on Namjoon felt more and more and more comfortable to actually speak his mind.

The best thing was that Jiyong treated him as an equal and not somebody lower, he never tried to ‘dumb it down’ or speak down to Namjoon, he assumed correctly that Namjoon should be treated as an adult he had been doing it for years. The only time he seemed to talk to Namjoon like the younger didn’t understand what he was talking about was when he talked about his own songs.

Which was probably more the fact that he didn’t assume Namjoon was a fanboy, which he would be wrong about, but Namjoon was not gonna tell Jiyong that, he likes to at least seem a little bit cool.

As they parked near the meeting place and Namjoon got out of the car he just kind of froze staring at the entrance, he would actually have to do this, he could no longer push it away. He didn’t get to stand there long before he felt a thing hand worm it’s way into as Jiyong gave his hand a calming squish “it’s gonna be okay, it’s just a chat if you want out, we leave. I am not gonna let him start his bullshit I promise. Nothing is gonna happen to you, I won’t let it.”

Namjoon never understood what fans meant about swooning and ovaries exploding, he didn’t even have ovaries but he was pretty sure they just exploded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few notes, my Jackson x Namjoon x Mark week is halfway done, the stories will be posted when I have written all seven! 4 is done so far, it will include a hidden omega side story!
> 
> The storyline is starting to pick up again, as it is really really important for Namjoon to have this meeting and dealing with his past!
> 
> Teaser:
> 
> When Jiho makes Namjoon cry, it will be in the bedroom


	91. You no longer want to get hurt and you’re afraid Even the day you left I made you cry with harsh words And I turned my back on you and I’m sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this is late... Long story... But I am not given up!

The place that Jiho had decided on holding this ‘meeting’ at an upscale restaurant that let them have their own room for the meeting .  It turned out that Namjoon and Jiyong were actually the last people to arrive, as everybody else  was seated . 

The table  was squared , on one side Supreme Boi, Donghyuk, were sitting and next to him was Iron, Huncheol, sitting . In Front of the two of them were two free chairs, meant for Namjoon and Jiyong.  On the side was Jiho seated, trying to be the calming reasonable person, while also trying to make himself seem like he wasn’t trying to take any sides .

Namjoon’s hand was still held by Jiyong, and the older rapper seemed to understand what was going on, and why he was hesitating .  He guided Namjoon to his spot with a light hand but never letting go of him, seeming to understand that the omega needed physical contact at that moment .

The mix of scents in the room was already a mess. Huncheol always had a strong alpha scent that had only gotten stronger as the years went past. Add to that both Jiho and Donghyuk’s beta scents, which were trying to pump out as much calming scent as possible. It was all mixed with Jiyong’s scent of creamy chili and Namjoon's peaches and cream, so yeah... a giant mess.

Maybe it was cause Namjoon had slept with a scented doll of Jiyong’s.  He actually found the older rappers scent to be one of the most calming alpha scents, only to  be beaten by Yongguk, Jackson, and Youngbae . Those scents were in a completely different league that nobody could compare to.

Huncheol was staring at Jiyong with a none too polite facial expression “what is he doing here?” he said the word ‘he’ like it was some kind of insult, like Jiyong daring to be near him was a personal insult to him.

“You  were informed that Namjoon would bring a friend, that friend is me, I am not here to deal with you. I am here to support Namjoon, so you can leave your issues with me or my pack at the door.” Jiyong’s tone of voice was the same one as when he had first met Namjoon. It was very different when that tone of voice was no longer aimed at him.

Jiyong had warned him that Huncheol had some issues with the Big Bang pack. Seeing them as idol rappers, and feeling that he deserved their success.  For a second it seemed like Huncheol wanted to speak up, wanted to continue the argument, but he also seemed to notice in Jiyong’s eyes that he meant it . Huncheol understood that any argument in that tone wouldn’t go anywhere.  That said it didn’t stop him from coming with a snide comment “I guess rappers of your kind attracts each other like flies .”

Jiyong’s jaw tightened as he wanted to throw an insult back.  Either a fitting insult towards Huncheol’s intelligent for using the saying wrong, or to agree with him that yes success did attract each other . That yes,  all of them had much more success that Huncheol could ever dream about getting. But he held himself back Namjoon had agreed to have him support him here. Jiyong was not about to break that trust by being a snide little bitch… He left that to Huncheol himself.

The Big Bang alpha took a moment to look around at all the people gathered around for this meeting. Zico or Jiho as his real name was, was somebody that Jiyong didn’t know  personally , but he had deep respect for.  Youngbae had nothing but stellar things to say about the younger rapper, and Jiyong had never questioned the other alpha before . He wasn’t gonna start it now.

Opposite side of Jiyong was the person that he knew the least in this meeting. Donghyuk, to Jiyong known as Supreme Boi. Jiyong hadn’t known much about the other male before a few days ago. he had started googling about the young beta to prepare for this meeting. Jiyong liked him as a producer, but it was hard to find anything about him as a person.  All he could find was that there used to be rumors that he  was supposed to debut with BTS and rumor that he might be part of their pack .  Other than small facts like the fact that he did have a pack but wouldn’t reveal who, that he was a beta, and that he was part of Namjoon’s rap crew .

Even asking around about him hadn’t revealed much of value. That said, he had come to believe that Donghyuk was leaning more towards Namjoon’s side than he did Huncheol’s. While Jiyong had no doubt about the fact that the young beta would prefer not to speak up unless he needed to.  It was understandable, he didn’t have Namjoon, Jiho or Jiyong’s success to fall back on or their huge social circles of idols . Being with the rap crew meant a lot to him  personally and  professionally .

And then there was Huncheol, to say that Jiyong wasn’t his biggest fan would be the understatement of the century . Huncheol was the worst kind of underground rapper.  He thought that the fact, that he didn’t have the same success as people like Jiyong and Jiho, was a sign that his music was actually much better than theirs .

Those kinds of people thought that success was the same as selling out. Jiyong was not gonna disagree.  There were some idol rappers who  simply weren’t great rappers, but to say that about all idol rappers were being a fucking idiot . Something Jitong was happy to call Huncheol.

Other than that, there were his assault charges and the fact that Jiyong found his rapping subpar.  So yeah, there were maggots that Jiyong would much rather spend time with, but this was for Namjoon, who had put his faith and trust in Jiyong .  So he was gonna sit here, and provide as much emotional support as possible, but not speak up unless Huncheol went out of order .

Jiyong knew from Daesung that this was important for  multiple reasons to Namjoon.  Of course, there was the realizing and dealing with his past, but from Jiyong’s point of view, there was something even more important .  Namjoon realizing he didn’t need approval from Huncheol of those guys, he didn’t need them unless they could respect him .

When it was clear for everybody that Jiyong was not gonna answer the other alpha’s rude remark people turned their attention to Jiho . The beta took the lead “So we all know why we are here. We are here to talk about the old times, before we were idols and before Namjoon presented. Both Huncheol and Donghyuk has  been caught up on what has been going on, but for a short catch up so we all are on the same page. Namjoon presented as an omega early on in the year. 

It turned out that he has been suppressing his sub gender since he turned 18, and the reason we are here now is to talk about why it happened .  So we can all walk away from here with a deeper understanding of everything and with a little luck still as friends .” It was clear to everybody that Jiho had practiced that speech, wanting to seem as neutral as possible.

For a second, nobody was sure who was gonna take the lead and speak up first.  To everybody's surprise, it was actually Donghyuk that spoke up “ I think there is no doubt about why Namjoon suppressed it . Yes BTS was bad, but that was years later, it’s the culture of underground rap, and  I think we were all guilty of this.” He was looking at his hands as he spoke, not feeling too great about what had been going down in the underground.

Huncheol looked confused at Donghyuk “bad? It was normal things to say, of course, he suppressed his subgender, now he has to give up so many things. He  probably hates it!"

Everybody tensed for a moment, why did Huncheol have to be like that?  Jiyong didn’t have many nice things to say about the other to start with, but this was fucking stupid, why did he have to go so strong about it ? Did he actually believe in all this bullshit?  Maybe , it had been too much to hope that Huncheol spouted the shit to fit in, knowing deep down that it was wrong, that it was a bunch of bullcrap .

He could feel Namjoon’s grasp on his hand tighten, and he ran his thumb over Namjoon’s knuckles to calm him down and remind him that he was here for him . God Jiyong wanted to speak up, but he was not gonna step in unless he needed to.  Speaking with Daesung and Seungri, he felt that he had known Namjoon for as long as them, and he saw a lot of himself in Namjoon .

Jiyong might be an alpha and Namjoon an omega, but they were more alike than you would think on first sight. Jiyong understood him. They were both rappers more or less rejected by the underground; even if it was for different reasons. They were both leaders and had been so from a young age before they were ready to.  They both struggled with finding out where the difference between being a good leader and being a good friend was . They both wanted the best for their group but struggled with finding the balance.  That was why Jiyong had felt so  strongly about wanting to help Namjoon when Daesung had suggested it, he saw so much of himself in the younger .

It was like everything was still for a moment.  Like nobody actually dared to speak, waiting for Namjoon to speak up, waiting to hear what the tone of this talk was gonna be . It took a little while, but Namjoon finally spoke up “I don’t regret being an omega, I don’t hate it. It’s hard to get used to yes, but I don’t hate it.” Namjoon’s voice had started  hesitantly , but as he was picking up more confidence as the words went on. Guided on by both Jiho’s soft smile and Jiyongs squish of his hand to remind the younger that he  was supported . “I’m still a good rapper, and I can still be a valuable member of both BTS and to Daenamhyup!”

Jiyong was proud of Namjoon, and he hoped that Namjoon knew that from the soft squish of his hand.  Of course, that didn’t get to last very long as Huncheol, as the shitbag he was, decided to speak up “But you can’t be a member of Daenamhyup .”

Both Namjoon and Jiho stared at the alpha, not seeming to be sure that they actually understood what he said.  Both Jiyong and Donghyuk  on the other hand , had expected it, even if they had hoped they were wrong “What do you mean I can’t be a member ?”  all the security from Namjoon's voice earlier was gone, like he couldn’t actually believe the words spoken .

“You are an omega now, we can’t have an omega as a member. We would lose all or credibility, it is bad enough that you and Kidoh are idols, but this? Damn Namjoon you know better! This is why it was better when you repressed your sub-gender!” Huncheol was looking at Namjoon like he was stupid for not realizing it. Like it was something simple, like putting together 1 and 1.

Jiyong was almost seeing red. He was holding himself back for the moment, but he wanted to strangle the other alpha where he was. He could have his opinions no matter how backwatered they were, but the way he was saying it.  It was a sure fire way to make Namjoon fall back into hating himself, doubting the fact that him being an omega didn’t change anything .

He couldn’t speak up yet, he had to give Namjoon the chance to speak up for himself. Until now he had done so well, and Jiyong didn’t want to take that away from him, that feeling of being in control.

Namjoon didn’t get a chance to answer, instead, Donghyuk did “we didn’t talk about this before? There has been no discussion of throwing out Namjoon from the crew? You can’t make things up right here.” the beta sounded confused and annoyed at with Huncheol’s words.

“We didn’t think we needed to tell you, of course, he has to  be thrown out! He can still be an idol after all, while yes he is gonna have to step down from leading, he can still rap for them. Idol rappers can be omega’s if they want, not real rappers tho! We would be the laughing stock of the entire community!” he shrugged leaning back in his chair. Like he hadn’t been a giant bigot “Namjoon understands it. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have rejected and forced down his gender, like it’s sad I agree, but something has to  be done . He is a good rapper, but we can’t have that shit in our crew.”

Jiyong could feel Namjoon shaking, his face was blank as he was trying to hold in the hurt feelings. The alpha had hoped it wouldn’t go like this. He had expected it to go like this, he  really had, but he had hoped for Namjoon’s sake that it wouldn’t. God, he wanted to speak up, but he knew that Namjoon could do this, he was not gonna take that chance away from him.

He turned out to be right as Namjoon spoke up. He wasn't looking at Huncheol anymore, but down at the table instead “But I don’t want to leave. I am not stepping down as the leader of BTS, I can be a rapper and an omega. You are right, I suppress my gender cause I wanted to stay a rapper, but that was wrong. I shouldn’t need to suppress me subgender! My subgender doesn’t change how I rap, I was always an omega, I  just hadn’t presented yet! What we all used to say back then was shitty, we were all terrible for saying stuff like that. Donghyuk is right, that was the reason I suppress my subgender. I was so wrapped up in this idea that being an omega would destroy my career, and we all fed into it.”

Jiyong was so damn proud of the omega, and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. This was what he wanted, this was what  all of them wanted, for Namjoon to realize that he was more than his subgender. Yes, he had said it before, but this was the real first sign that he actually believed it. The fact that he stood up for himself was so important.

Huncheol didn’t seem as happy “You are an omega, we should have kicked you out the second that you became an idol. That was the first sign that you were soft and not a real rapper!”

And that was it, that was a step too far for Jiyong. Namjoon had done well, he had stood up for himself and given the other alpha a piece of his mind. This conversation wasn’t gonna go anywhere good from here. Namjoon had looked back at his past and accepted it. Now it was Jiyong’s turn to stop this “And that is enough." He was still holding Namjoon’s hand in a soft grasp so he could run his thumb over the knuckles. The reason for this was that when he spoke up voice was hard and full of edge as he was staring down Huncheol.

The younger alpha seemed to almost shrink in his seat under Jiyong’s harsh glare. The scent of creamy chili was chasing away Huncheol’s own scent of Chai spices. He opened his mouth  as to speak, but Jiyong  easily stopped him before a word could get out.  “Namjoon met you here for a respectful conversation about the past, but instead you are a stuck up bigot caught in the past . He has already told you that he doesn’t regret his subgender. He is completely correct in the fact that he is as good a rapper being an omega as he is being either an alpha, beta or a dud.”  Jiyong held a quick break in his speech to look over at Namjoon, he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t scaring the omega again . Sleeping on the couch last time he did it had been enough punishment. Plus Namjoon didn’t deserve to get scared cause Jiyong was going on alpha. The older rapper hated using his subgender like this, but he also wanted to put Huncheol in his place.

Luckily Namjoon didn’t seem affected by Jiyong’s little speech, he gave Jiyong’s hand a squish back.  From the moment they had stepped into the building they hadn’t let go of each other's hands, Jiyong saw that as his okay to keep going .

“And  realistically speaking, he doesn’t need you, you need him.  You know the stats, the more popular he and BTS get, the more people is gonna check out you guys music, that is what hurts your ass, isn’t it ? The fact that you need an omega, you need an idol.”  He leaned forward a bit, looking right into Huncheols’ eyes refusing to let the younger break the staring contest . "Who are you to say what a real rapper is? All you have done with your life is coursing issues for people and beating up one of your pack members. Yes, we all know about that.”

Huncheol’s  normally tan skin had turned a  ghostly pale at that speech. He looked much less sure in himself like he wasn’t sure what to say from there “we don’t… I don’t… how do you...” He couldn’t seem to finish a sentence as Jiyong leaned back in his chair with a self-assured smirk on his face.

“That is not important. Whatever you have said is not important, you have already proved that your opinions are trash.  Just like the rest of you,” it felt good for Jiyong to  verbally whip Huncheol.

Jiyong felt a light pull at his hand that was still connected to Namjoon, afraid that he had gone a little too far he met Namjoon’s eyes a little worried .  Luckily it didn’t seem so, as Namjoon’s facial expression was so damn soft as he spoke out “ I think we should leave, there is nothing more for us here . If that is okay Jiho?”

They both turned to look at the beta that nodded “yeah  I think this is for the best, I am sorry it didn’t turn out as we planned.”

Jiyong felt sorry for the young beta, he had tried his best to plan this and he had done it with the best of intentions in his heart . Sometimes things  just didn’t turn out as you wanted to. Luckily, if you asked Jiyong, this actually turned out pretty well. Yes, they hadn’t made peace between Namjoon and the people of his past, but Namjoon had made peace with his past. That was if you asked Jiyong, actually the most important part “you did well, this isn’t your fault.” he tried to give the beta his most reassuring smile, before looking back at Namjoon, “Let’s get out of here then?”

Namjoon nodded, and for the first time since  all of this had started he let go of Jiyong’s hand and rose to his feet. Crossing the distance to Jiho in a few steps, he placed a soft kiss on the beta’s cheek “You did good, see you at home.”

Jiho smiled and nodded, letting both Namjoon and Jiyong go. When they finally got outside Namjoon had turned toward the older alpha. “Thank you so much… for everything. You let me handle myself like you trusted that I wouldn’t fuck it up, but you also defended me when I needed it, thank you! You didn’t have to do this for, but you still did.”

The older smiled, “Can I give you a hug?”

He never got an answer as long arms closed around him and he was getting hugged by Namjoon, just for Jiyong to realize one thing… he was way too short compared to Namjoon, goddamn it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little announcement, when I finish Namjoon with Block B this story is taking a little break. The reason for this is that I want to update and rewrite the first 5-10 chapters of this story!
> 
> In other news, I published a texting chapter for this story! It is with B.a.p!
> 
> And I have now written 5 of the stories for my MarkJoonJack week!


	92. I’ll be done in just one song, I’ll make you go crazy, but I’m like a clear pinot noir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!
> 
> In the end there will be a few things I wanna tell! And I want you guys opinion on something
> 
> This chapter is beta'ed by Steph from Twitter!

Namjoon found himself actually enjoying his shared hug with Jiyong. The older rapper fit so well into Namjoon’s arms. It also made him realize just how tiny Jiyong was in many different ways.

One, it was clear that Jiyong was not wearing his insoles, meaning that he was much shorter than Namjoon, but that wasn’t the only thing. Jiyong was also very skinny like he was getting close to Namjoon’s level of skinny, and Namjoon had been suffering from anorexia.

Namjoon kinda wanted to feed Jiyong, but he knew enough from Daesung and Seungri that commenting on the alpha’s weight wasn’t a good way to make himself popular. Plus, he knew that it was something that Jiyong was working on.

That didn’t stop Namjoon from wanting to feed him.

Luckily, Namjoon didn’t get a chance to express that thought as Jiyong broke the hug with a smile on his face. “I know that was probably a lot, but you did so well. Maybe you should come home to us, to calm down for a few hours before you have to meet up with the rest of Block B who will want to hear everything about what happened.”

It didn’t take long for Namjoon to think of his answer. While yes, he was looking forward to going back to Block B, he was also not looking forward to having to explain everything. A breather sounded like a great idea. This didn’t stop him from being a little shy about it as he nodded with a shy smile, “I don’t want you to push myself on you guys, I know that’s your place of peace and safety.”

A light smack was placed on Namjoon’s nape. “Silly boy, what about Daesung and Seungri telling you that you’re welcome here, and Youngbae told you many times that you are welcome at our place. We all mean it, we really do. We want you to see our dorm as a sanctuary that you can go to when you need a little bit of a breather.”

Namjoon rubbed the back of his head with a little pout. It hadn’t hurt or anything like that, it had been a light tap if anything, but that didn’t stop Namjoon from feeling like he was a child getting scolded by an adult.

“I would like to then,” he still felt shy, and he was trying his hardest not to blush. Namjoon still couldn’t believe that Jiyong had done so much for him. He had stood up for Namjoon when he had felt like he had run out of steam.

Jiyong ended up opening the car door for Namjoon letting him in before getting in himself. The drive to the Big Bang dorm was a little bit long, but it was still a comfortable and nice ride with a talk about music. As a BTS song came on they even talked a little bit about the production and writing of the song. While Namjoon hadn’t been part of the actual production of Run, since that had been handled by Pdogg, they still talked about it and about how Namjoon wanted to have more hand in the production of the title tracks they were producing.

The older just smiled keeping his eyes on the road, telling Namjoon not to worry and that control comes with time. He was getting trained to produce and write songs since he was a trainee, it had taken many years before he was trusted with having hands in their title tracks.

They talked more about whatever music they thought of. Namjoon could spend days picking Jiyong's brain about anything and everything under the stars, but sadly they didn’t have that much time as they soon arrived at the Big Bang dorm. Namjoon had never seen the dorm before; it was one of the most expensive places to live and the dream of most idol groups.

Namjoon still felt hesitant about going in there, but as Jiyong opened the door for him to get out of the car Namjoon decided that maybe it was a little too late to run away. He kinda wanted to comment that Jiyong really didn’t need to open all of the doors for him and that he still had hands, but if Jiyong really wanted to do it, then who was he to deny the alpha that right? It didn’t seem to be an alpha thing, with thinking that he was better than omega’s, but more a thing of Jiyong trying to be nice. Which was kinda cute.

Jiyong had told him that nobody would be home since everybody had schedule that day, but he seemed to have underestimated just how long it would take for the Big Bang pack alpha to finish his things. When they got into the dorm Namjoon could smell everybody’s scent, from Seungri’s candy apples and Daesung’s sweet blueberries to Youngbae’s fresh scent of freshly washed linens and Jiyong’s sweet and creamy but strong chili scent, but Seunghyun’s leather scent was a lot stronger than everybody else’s residing scent.

At first, Namjoon decided to ignore it, the scent doll he had from Seunghyun had been stronger than the others’, so it wasn’t that unexpected, maybe Seunghyun just had one of those scents. You never know.

Turns out that there was another reason why Seunghyun’s scent was strong. As they entered Jiyong offered to get Namjoon some water, which he was quick to accept since he was feeling a little parched.

When they got to the kitchen, somebody was already there washing the dishes. As Seunghyun turned around to look at them and he seemed surprised to see Namjoon, but not in a negative way. While Namjoon had frozen where he was standing, the pack alpha was quick at drying his hands and went over to greet them.

While Namjoon had kinda talked to Seunghyun before, this was the first time meeting the older rapper in person. Namjoon felt awkward just frozen and standing there when Seunghyun reached him.

Seunghyun reached a hand out for a handshake, “It’s nice to finally meet you. It’s good to see that you accepted Ji’s offer for a breather. All of this must be hard for you.”

He had heard a lot about Seunghyun. From what he had heard from pretty much everyone Seunghyun was the most complicated of all the Big Bang members. He struggled with depression and other mental problems, and at times he just needed to be alone even without his pack to just breathe for a second. Everything like that stereotypes him as not being fit to be the pack alpha of a group, and there had been many articles about how it should have been any of the other alphas. Even Namjoon had been guilty of maybe agreeing, especially after seeing how Yoongi was leading the BTS pack.

The thing was Namjoon understood why Seunghyun was the pack alpha, and it was clear from how everybody in Big Bang was talking about him that nobody would ever want anyone else as their pack alpha. Seunghyun had the ability to both be the nice, kind, and slightly insane person he normally was, but from what everybody was saying he could also set his foot down and make the right decisions even if people at the time didn’t agree with him.

Like forcing Jiyong out of his studio even if the other alpha was kicking and screaming and disagreeing heavily. Hard decisions, like making sure that Youngbae wasn’t ignoring his own needs to try and fill the needs of others, and that Seungri understood that being soft and being himself didn’t mean he was any less of an alpha.

Seunghyun was to Namjoon probably the perfect pack alpha. Yes he had his struggles and he wasn’t a perfect person, nobody was, but he also understood his weaknesses and he could work with them, instead of just ignoring them until they blew up in his face, like somebody like Jiyong and Seungri might do.

That's why it was even more embarrassing when the first thing Namjoon could think of to say to him was, “You are very short for 180 cm.”

Oh god! That was not what he meant to say, but since Seunghyun wasn’t wearing any shoes at all he was a decent amount shorter than Namjoon, which had taken Namjoon of guard. Seunghyun had such a big personality and person that it just seemed to make sense that he would be taller or the same height as Namjoon.

He wasn’t.

Which Namjoon should have expected.

God, why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut? It seemed that Seunghyun had that effect on him; he couldn’t keep what was in his brain in. Namjoon slapped a hand over his mouth to try and stop it from coming up with more shit. For a second everybody just stared at each other, it seemed like that it wasn’t what Seunghyun had expected either.

Jiyong stared between them. They were awkwardly standing with Seunghyun still reaching his hand out for a handshake and Namjoon still with his hand slapped over his mouth to stop it from embarrassing him anymore.

Namjoon was sure he was about to be kicked out of the dorm and told never to talk to any of them again, but instead, Jiyong just started laughing, “Oh my god thank you! He refuses to admit that he isn’t as tall as his official height! The rest of us can admit it, mostly because we have been called out on TV but he still, he just refuses to! We keep saying that we love him regardless and if anything, he is still much taller than the rest of us so what does it matter, but nooo! You should have seen last week, so Hangeng came over…” Jiyong didn’t get to finish the sentence as Seunghyun put a hand over his mouth.

“Excuse Jiyong and his big mouth, he has no idea what he is actually talking about. Ji you can stop licking my hand, I’ve had my tongue down your throat before your saliva does not disgust me.” It seemed that Seunghyun was somehow still in a good mood as he winked at Namjoon.

As Seunghyun slowly removed his hand from Jiyong mouth, seeming to expect Jiyong to start the story over again, but instead the shorter alpha just pouted a little. It was something Namjoon had never seen Jiyong do before. It didn’t fit his stage image, but it fit with what Namjoon knew of him from everybody else.

It was still so weird to get to know these people that he looked up to in real life. It was so damn weird. They were just normal people, and Namjoon didn’t know what else to do as Seunghyun leaned down to press a kiss to the corners of Jiyong’s lips.

Seunghyun seemed to just decide that he should ignore what Namjoon had said, as he reached out to shake Namjoon’s hand again, “Did he at least drive nicely? He can be a little too happy when driving at times.”

“Hey! I follow the speed limits!”

“You don’t need to be exactly at the limit all the time.” This made Jiyong pout again.

“I come here for a good time, bringing a friend, and all I get is this disrespect. I should have you record your vocals over and over again.” Jiyong was pouting at Seunghyun accusing him before pushing past him, and going to the kitchen to actually get Namjoon the glass of water that he had promised him.

Seunghyun grinned a little, “But aren’t you rewriting lyrics? I can’t rap something you haven’t finished, that isn’t my fault.”

Namjoon wasn’t sure what he had expected… for them to be serious people, for them to be stoic, for them to be their stage persona. Well, that wasn’t what happened, instead what happened was that Jiyong was apparently insane. He came back to the two taller people with a glass of cold water that Namjoon thought was for him.

Namjoon did not get his glass of water.

Seunghyun did.

Over his head.

Jiyong as he passed by Seunghyun, turned the glass upside down over his face spilling all the water all over the older’s head. As an ice cube hit the ground with a loud noise, everything sat still for a second, you would have been able to hear a pin drop.

And then… A lot of things happened.

Seunghyun’s brain that had been put into mild shock from the ice-cold water was revived, “JIYONG!”

At the same time as Seunghyun yelled the younger alpha’s name, Namjoon got the empty glass stuffed in his hands. Then Jiyong was off running, and Seunghyun was just a second behind him. It sounded like doors were getting opened and closed with an almost extreme amount of violence, and words were being yelled at each other back and forth.

Leaving Namjoon with a cold glass in his hands and a puddle of water in front of him in the kitchen of Big Bang for some reason. What was his life? How had he ended up here? Nothing in Namjoon’s life made any sense anymore.

He just stood there and stared at the glass, while listening to the noises going on around him. He was so zoned out that he didn’t even notice the front door opening and closing, nor the new fresh scent in the room.

Namjoon first realized that somebody had entered the room when a hand was placed on his shoulder, ending with him doing a panicked movement and dropping the glass on the floor making it join the mess already there, “Oh.”

He turned around and was greeted by Youngbae who was looking a little confused at Namjoon “Are you okay?” He dragged Namjoon a little bit away from the shards of glass, “did they hit you? The glass?”

Namjoon shook his head, still, a little shell-shocked about what had happened, “I’m sorry about the glass.”

Youngbae shook his head, “It’s from IKEA for exactly that reason. I assume who I can hear yelling are Seunghyun and Ji?”

“Yeah… I am not sure what really happened.”

Youngbae just smiled at him, and as more of the soft fresh linen scent was released, Namjoon felt himself a relax a little. “It’s okay, you get used to it. I am sorry for them though. I promise they act like adults most of the time, but sometimes they just… don’t.” He shrugged before grabbing some paper to get the shards of glass off the ground.

“It’s okay, it was just… I was surprised,” Namjoon said. But at the same time, he felt kinda happy about it. It was weird but seeing Seunghyun and Jiyong act so much out of their stage character, being happy and chasing each other around was nice. It was nice that they were adults, they were leaders and pack leaders, but they could still find time and head space to be happy and free, teasing, but still loving.

It gave Namjoon hope that his own maknae line, who used to love to tease would find it again, it made it seem like there was hope. He bent down to help Youngbae pick up the pieces of glass.

Of course, it didn’t go as Namjoon planned, because he was Namjoon… hurricane Namjoon the accident maker. The first two pieces of glass went fine, the next piece, though… less fine as the edge of it caught on the soft skin of Namjoon’s finger and caught it open. “Shit.”

He went to pull his hand to him, but Youngbae, owner of motherly instinct in Big Bang, had grabbed onto Namjoon’s hand pulling it a little closer to himself so that he could see it in the light, a worried facial expression on his face he inspected the wound.

“You have to be more careful, you could really have hurt yourself,” he was clearly concerned for Namjoon’s health and safety.

It was the first time he had met Youngbae in real life, but he was exactly like he was on the phone. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing a little in shame. “I didn’t mean to do it, I am kind of a klutz. I am banned from pretty much all kitchens for that reason.”

Youngbae tsked a little, “There is nothing wrong with being a klutz, I am sure you aren’t that bad in a kitchen. You just need supervising. A friend of mine has almost no depth perception, even he can be in the kitchen with help, and he literally can’t see how far from his fingers the knife is. Maybe you shouldn’t be allowed to do dangerous tasks or anything with open flame or knives, but I am sure that there can still be jobs for you there.”

Namjoon opened his mouth to answer, but he was silenced as Youngbae took Namjoon’s still bleeding finger and put it in his mouth to suck off the blood.

Now… that was not what Namjoon expected. He was pretty sure that he had never blushed so much in his life. He was pretty sure that he was rivaling the shade of a tomato at that point.

As Youngbae took the finger out of his mouth and stared at it again, Namjoon tried to stammer a few words out, but it seemed that any hope of his brain working had been completely ruined as all he could do was stare at Youngbae.

Youngbae just smiled at this, “Saliva helps it heal and close faster, at least that is what my dad always used to say.”

Namjoon was so smart, he was supposed to be one of the smartest idols out there, but all he could do was just nod faintly.

Youngbae ended up putting a band-aid on Namjoon’s finger and picking up the rest of the glass. The noises from Seunghyun and Jiyong seemed to be gone, but the two rappers hadn’t returned either. Youngbae didn’t seem worried he just shrugged, “Their play fighting always has a certain sexual tension in it. It’s even worse when it’s Jiyong who teases RiRi. He seems to enjoy doing it until Seungri finally reaches his limit and pushes him against the nearest solid surface to stop whatever words are coming out of his mouth. That is kinda how they bond, you get used to it.”

Well, who was Namjoon to stop them from getting their rocks off? It did seem a little weird that they were touching parts leaving Namjoon here alone, but Youngbae, who really should take up a job as a mind reader, explained “They knew I was home. I saw Seunghyun who nodded at me before he chased Jiyong into the nest. If it was just you here, he would probably have called you to help him tickle Jiyong. They would never leave you here alone. They are silly at times, but we do all want to get to know you, and we are very serious about it. We want you to see us as friends and for this place to be somewhere you can go for peace, where nobody is trying to court you and you can be. I know that your boss has gotten you your own place, but being alone isn’t always optimal, especially for an omega who haven’t always had their needs met.”

This was what Namjoon just loved about Youngbae, they had talked a lot over the phone, and Youngbae was always so damn calming and he seemed to understand what Namjoon needed before Namjoon even realized it. Youngbae was without a doubt one of the alphas that Namjoon felt the safest around, which was weird considering they hadn’t known each other very long.

After everything was cleaned Youngbae showed them to the living room, which was… way too pretty. There were so many amazing pictures hanging and such gorgeous furniture. Youngbae let Namjoon spend a second just taking it all in. “Seunghyun.” That was all he needed to say for Namjoon to understand.

They ended up talking while watching a variety show. It was light-hearted and with a newly debuted group called N.Flying. They talked more than they really watched the show, and as time went on Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from yawning. It wasn’t late or night yet, far from it, but Namjoon still easily got tired, a struggle from his anorexia.

Youngbae seemed to get it. “Want to take a nap and then we’ll get you home after? I have already written to Jiho that you’re here, they won’t worry.”

“Nono it’s fine, I can stay awake,” he really couldn’t, too many things had happened that day.

Youngbae just patted his thighs for Namjoon to lie his head down, “You are clearly tired, if not for you, then for me. I would feel better knowing that you took a nap, I would be worried that you would faint before we got you back home.”

Namjoon wasn’t stupid, he knew that it was kind of manipulative, but Youngbae’s voice… it sounded like he meant it, and Namjoon couldn’t deny this man anything. So even though he was shy about it, he laid his head down on Youngbae’s thighs and let the man spread a blanket over him.

The last thought Namjoon had before he entered dreamland was that Youngbae had really nice dancer thighs, they reminded him of Jimin’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay notes!
> 
> Mark x Jackson x Namjoon ship week is done!
> 
> [Here is a link to the series](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1035996)  
> The last of the week is a side story for Hidden omega! With some MarkSonJoon smut!
> 
> A few people misunderstood something, WE ARE NOT DONE WITH BLOCK B'S PART YET!
> 
> And then the opinion I want, I have 2 major plot points with Block B left, but I also want two more smut scenes, one I have decided is gonna be with Taeil. Who would you guys like to see as the last smut scene? Can be one person or a pairing of people?


	93. Do I need to tell you why? You should know by now, You flipped my body and heart upside down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter!

When Namjoon woke up all he wanted to do was whine and fall back to sleep. He was so comfortable. Soft chatter he couldn’t distinguish was providing soft white noise in the background, and a soft hand was running through his hair petting him. The thigh he was using as a pillow was warm, but firm just how Namjoon preferred his pillows. He had his legs on something, no that wasn’t right, on somebody if Namjoon’s sensory feelings were right, because somebody was petting his thigh and running small figures on it.

Yeah, Namjoon was comfortable, and that was without him getting started on all the scents surrounding him. The one closest to him was so good. One of the best feelings in the world is falling asleep in freshly washed sheets, and this scent was just like that. Just like when after a long day your freshly washed bedding settle over you and you feel safe and sound, ready to ignore the everything around you. You feel like nothing can touch you. That was how Namjoon felt. He just knew that nothing could hurt him at that moment.

There were other scents that mixed as well, all around him, sweet blueberries and candy apples giving Namjoon something familiar to attach himself to. Other than those, there were two stronger scents of leather and chili that really had no right to mix as well with the two sweeter scents as they did. They mixed together like all of these scents were meant to be, like they couldn’t exist without the others, like the idea that they had ever would be a joke.

The scents combined with the soft petting were doing their best to try and pull Namjoon back into the realms of sleep. He wanted to answer sleep’s call so badly, but there was that annoying buzzing of responsibility that he also felt the need to follow. Slowly, oh so slowly, he fought open his eyes, blinking sleepily. He woke up staring into the face of Jiyong who was sitting in a beanbag on the floor having a quiet conversation with whomever Namjoon was sleeping on. Youngbae, his brain sleepily reminded him, he was sleeping on Youngbae.

As soon as Jiyong noticed that Namjoon was awake, he stopped his conversation to smile at Namjoon. Jiyong looked so… soft, Namjoon couldn’t do anything other than just blink a few times confused. The alpha had clearly taken a shower after his bits bumping with Seunghyun. His soft pink hair was hastily dried and still looked damp. The tight skinny jeans and jacket from earlier had been replaced with a pair of loose shorts and a hoodie that Namjoon was pretty sure did not belong to him unless Jiyong loved sweater paws. Which if that was the case, Namjoon couldn’t blame him for it. He himself had been known to buy his hoodies a little too big so he could get to have sweater sleeves.

Overall Jiyong looked fucking adorable, and Namjoon kinda wanted to just hug him. Well, that wasn’t just because he was cute, but also because Namjoon felt that he couldn’t thank the older alpha enough.

“Good morning sleeping beauty.” Jiyong still kept his voice soft, clearly not wanting to startle Namjoon too much, “I hope you slept well.”

All Namjoon could do was nod. He suddenly felt the gaze of everybody’s eyes on him. He became very aware of that fact that everybody was gathered in the room and had their eyes on him. He suddenly felt shy and worried that he looked too terrible after his nap.

Jiyong just grinned at him, before somebody kicked at the Big Bang leader. This ended with him falling off the beanbag he had perched himself on, effectively wiping the grin off his face and instead of replacing it with a scowl as he stared up at Daesung. Daesung had moved himself into Namjoon’s point of view, and he was also wearing a scowl. The alpha and omega stared at each other for a second, before Jiyong straight up just pouted, “You didn’t have to kick me.”

Daesung just put his hands on his hips staring expectantly at the older alpha with a raised eyebrow and a judging facial expression. This led Jiyong to sigh before turning his attention back to Namjoon, “I am sorry. I was the one who brought you home and I should have been treating you better instead of running off. I am supposed to be the adult.”  He turned back to Daesung, scowl back on his face. “Are you happy now?!”

“I would have been happier if you hadn’t done it in the first place.” Even if the words sounded rude, Daesung was smiling so clearly everything was forgiven. “I don’t know why you are the only one that has to keep apologizing to him.”

He sat down on the side of Jiyong’s beanbag that the older had crawled back onto. Namjoon forced himself to sit up, well aware that if he stayed lying down on Youngbae’s comfortable lap for any longer he was gonna fall back asleep. It was simply way too comfortable.

“It’s okay. I was just a little surprised.” he smiled at Jiyong. While Namjoon didn’t know it, he kinda melted the older alpha’s heart at that moment with his big smile showing his deep dimples and eyes still sleepy.

Jiyong wanted to say something about how cute he looked, but still not knowing where he stood with Namjoon as a friend didn’t. Instead, Seungri, the person who felt the most comfortable with Namjoon, reached out from where he was sitting with Namjoon’s legs in his lap to softly poke the dimple, “Cute.”  He made sure to keep a soft teasing tone in his voice so that he didn’t sound like he was being mean. “Ji told us in broad strokes about what happened, but he said that it was your own choice if you wanted to tell us everything. Mainly he just said that he was proud of you and that we should be as well.”

Namjoon felt a little overwhelmed by how proud Seungri actually sounded like he was actually proud that Namjoon had stood up for himself.  Even considering everything he had been through, even after talking every day with Daesung and Seungri, it was this moment where Namjoon realized that these people, these idols, these rappers and artists that he had looked up to for so long, really just wanted the best for him. There were no hidden agendas. They really just wanted the best for him.

They might have sought him out because he was an omega, but they didn’t stay because he was an omega. They stayed for Namjoon the person, not for Namjoon the omega, and that meant so much for Namjoon.

He ended up telling the rest of Big Bang everything that had happened, including his own conflicted feelings about it, about how it felt weird, but still so freeing to know that he was not expected to go back. How nice it felt to know that even if he would never see that group again, at least to make music with them, Donghyuk was still with him, and he still supported Namjoon.

An hour or so passed of comfortable talking before Youngbae offered to drive Namjoon back home. Namjoon was quick to agree. While he was enjoying spending time with Big Bang and was feeling really comfortable with them, he did look forward to going back to Block B. He could only imagine how worried they must all be for him. He felt calm now, calm, collected and ready to tell them all about what had happened.

Namjoon had tried to say that Youngbae really didn’t need to drive him, that he would be completely fine getting an uber or anything like that home, but the alpha had insisted with a smile, and Namjoon wasn’t one to argue with Youngbae. The trip home was nice. Both sitting in a comfortable silence, neither feeling the need to fill it, just enjoying the city going past their windows and the soft scent filling the car.

As they arrived at the Block B dorm, Namjoon was given a tight hug and a kiss to the lower cheek. It seemed like Youngbae had actually wanted to kiss his forehead, not his cheek, but the alpha was tiny and there was no actual way in hell he was gonna reach Namjoon’s forehead.

“Remember that we all mean it. If you need to be someplace that isn’t alone, you can always come to us. Even if it’s just for a day or two before going to the next pack on your list, and don’t feel like you owe us something.” Youngbae’s tone of voice was almost like he was talking to an animal and that he was afraid that Namjoon would run away if he said just one wrong word.

From other people’s perspectives, it might have come across like he was treating Namjoon as a child, but he didn’t get that vibe from Youngbae. It didn’t feel like the alpha was trying to disrespect him or look down on him: it felt more like Youngbae really wanted to put his best foot forward. That he wanted to make sure that there was no doubt about the fact that he meant it, and Namjoon could appreciate that.

“I will remember that,” Namjoon didn’t know when he was gonna leave the Block B pack. He had tried to manage to get to all the packs before he left for Japan. He knew that there was a chance that after one stay he still might know who he wanted to stay with, who was gonna be his pack, but he felt like one try with each pack before he returned to full-on being Rap Monster from BTS was the right thing to do.

But it also sounded like a good idea, to stay a day or two with Big Bang to just… calm down for a moment. He had felt very alone going back to his own place. It had felt so big and empty with its stale air and unused rooms, but he still felt weird going to Big Bang’s dorm. Their dorm was the one place that they had solely to be with each other and alone, where they didn’t have to be Big Bang. Namjoon didn’t know if he deserved to be allowed to take up some of that time, to wedge himself in there.

But since Youngbae seemed to have the ability to read minds, he continued his statement, “Or call one of us, Seungri said that you felt a little lonely in your place, and it is fairly big for just you, one or multiple of us would be happy to come and spend some time with you there.”

Namjoon just nodded, and Youngbae understood, backing up not pushing Namjoon on the topic. He seemed to again understand that this was a little much for Namjoon. He was still struggling to accept that all of these people actually wanted to help him, to spend time with him.

He invited Youngbae inside, wanting to be polite to one of the alphas that had done so much for him, but Youngbae just shook his head smiling, “Go see them. I can see them in the windows. You have a lot to explain but remember what I said. No matter when or where we are here if you need us.”

With that, he took his leave with one last smile to Namjoon, who couldn’t stop himself from feeling a little flustered. He felt even more-so when he looked up at the window just in time to see Jiho wink at him from the window he was watching everything from.

Namjoon wasn’t sure what he had expected when he went into the dorm, maybe for everybody to sit around and wait for him to tell what had happened, ready to push him for the whole truth. Instead, he was greeted by the sweet smell of dinner being served and a call from the living room, “Good timing! We were worried that we would have to reheat the food for you, and it’s never as good reheated!”

He was gonna tell them what happened, he really was, but at that moment, he was happy to just sit down. He took his spot between Jihoon and Kyung, the latter quick to shovel food up on Namjoon’s plate. Namjoon kept waiting for somebody to press him on what happened with Iron, but instead, Jihoon excitedly started telling him about how Jiho had praised his writing! This caused Jiho to blush. It seemed like the Block B leader still wasn’t used to the high regard his own pack held his opinions. It reminded Namjoon that he really should complement Jiho more. The beta did get tons of compliments on his writing and producing, but Namjoon himself knew how much you could need and yearn compliments from the people you held the closest to you.

It was a few hours later that Namjoon told them what had happened. The great thing was while they didn’t push for answers, they didn’t act like it hadn’t happened either. They let Namjoon know without needing to specifically say it that they supported him, and he could tell them when he was ready.

So when they sat down in the evening, Namjoon somehow ended up sitting between Jihoon’s spread legs looking over what the Block B maknae was trying to write, but he was mainly drawing very absurd pictures and little word boxes that only Namjoon could see to make him laugh. Namjoon felt warm and comfortable. A conversation was going on around him, and when there was a small break in the conversation, he told them about his day. He explained everything that had been going on. It only almost got out of hand once when Namjoon recited Iron’s words against him being a leader and Jaehyo sounded like he was about to find Iron himself and give him a piece of his omega mind… Or fist… Namjoon wasn’t actually sure what it was that Jaehyo meant, but it did sound violent. Luckily, he calmed down quickly when Yukwon placed a hand on his shoulder as if to remind him to be calm.

Other than that, everything went smoothly. The Block B pack in generally actually sounded proud of him for standing up to himself, and all were quick to inform him that they didn’t see him as any less of a rapper or idol for being an omega.

The only time it got a little awkward was when Jiho seemed a little guilty that he hadn’t been able to stand up for Namjoon. He seemed worried that Namjoon was mad at him for that. It was quickly corrected. Namjoon understood why Jiho had acted the way he did and didn’t feel a farm of anger towards him. He just felt thankful since he knew how much time Jiho had spent setting it all up.

After Namjoon had told them about the meeting, he talked a little about his time spend with Big Bang. This caused light-hearted teasing as Minhyuk asked if they should be worried about Big Bang stealing him away in the death of night.

At first, Namjoon had flushed at the idea that Big Bang would want to court him, and he had tried to spurt out all the reasons why, but when he saw the grin on Minhyuk’s face he couldn’t stop himself from pouting, “You are teasing me.”

The rest of Block B joined in the laughing as Jihoon hugged him closer, but while Namjoon pouted, dimples on display, he couldn’t stop from laughing himself. It was still a weird feeling, to now feel that they were laughing with him and not at him.

Namjoon liked this sitting around and talking at the end of the evening. Even if Block B had more solo activities since they were an older group, they seemed to all gather in the living room and spend time together in the evening. That didn’t mean that they were all talking to each other, or that they, in general, were all talking, but they seemed to just enjoy spending the time near each other.

He was pretty sure, that this was the reason for Block B’s extremely strong pack bond. It was one of the things that had always impressed Namjoon about Block B. They always seemed to be strong in their pack bonds, even if they spend a lot of time away from each other, they seemed to balance each other out.

Namjoon thought about what would happen if he ended up with the Block B pack, would he fit in just as well? It was weird to think about, would he get to sit here, every evening, returning home from work with BTS to enjoy this time together with his pack? It was hard to imagine with BTS, while yes their bonds had gotten a lot worse over the last year, but it had never been like Block B’s were. It wasn’t because BTS were worse people, but they simply never had the time to settle into this like Block B had. And Namjoon wasn’t sure if they ever could settle into it if that was something that they could get to, but he hoped and believed in them.

Even after everything that had gone down with BTS, he knew that they weren’t bad people. They were just misunderstood with a lot of baggage and emotional needs not filled. He hoped that even if it wasn’t with him, they would get this one day. They would get to this point of trust in each other again. No matter if it was with or without Namjoon, he just wanted the best for them because they deserved it.

At the end of the evening, Namjoon was more or less almost falling asleep leaning back on Jihoon. The maknae had given up on his writing. Instead, he rested his head on top of Namjoon’s shoulder while talking with the pack, pulling the omega closer to him with his arms around the younger omega’s stomach.

Namjoon still felt a little embarrassed by how quickly he got tired and how quickly he felt his stamina leave him. He had had a nap earlier in the day and had slept in, but he was still the first person to be tired. But Doctor Choi had informed him that it was nothing to worry about, that it was an expected side effect, that it was simply his body trying to adjust.

Namjoon knew in his mind that it logically made sense, but he still felt embarrassed by it at times. He hated feeling weak. He hated being banned from dance practice, but he also knew that he should be happy. There weren’t many companies who would allow Namjoon to actually take the time off he needed to heal; they would push him until he broke and was no longer able to do anything.

Spending time with so many different idol groups and their management, from JYP’s at least pretending to care, to BAP’s company not even pretending to care, to Block B’s only really caring about some of the members, to YG’s only caring if your name was Jiyong, Namjoon knew that him and BTS were lucky. It reminded him to get Bang PD-nim and everybody working at Big Hit fruit baskets. They all deserved it for how understanding they were with everything going on at the moment, and that they all put up with them while trying to help. Namjoon knew how lucky they were. He wished that fans would give more credit and love to the team behind them, but he could also understand why they didn’t. Before he was an idol himself, he hadn’t thought about how many people were helping and doing work to make idol groups successful. Some of those people were terrible people who treated idols like they were the lowest of low, that they were nothing but paychecks.

BigHit wasn’t perfect, Namjoon would never say they were, but they at least cared about BTS. They had gotten burned by their collaboration with another entertainment label on GLAM. Namjoon didn’t personally agree with how that all ended up, with the two entertainment labels splitting up and Source music, which was the other label, taking all the staff and everything connected to female trainees. After that, Big Hit had all the reasons in the world to not trust their trainees, to have no faith in another group of trainees they wanted to debut, but they put them all behind BTS. They trusted them when BTS hadn’t always given them a reason to.

He was woken up with a teasing tickling to his side. “I don’t think it’s comfortable for you to sleep here,” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from whining a little. He didn’t wanna move; he was so comfortable where he was. Jihoon was warm and comfortable against his back and the scent of Ho leaf had a weird calming effect on Namjoon, did he really have to move? He could sit up and sleep.

Jihoon just laughed in a low tone, “You can’t stay here. Both of us would really hurt our backs.”

Namjoon couldn’t argue with that, so he let Jihoon drag him to the bathroom. He did set his foot down at the idea of letting Jihoon brush his teeth. Namjoon might be tired, but that was a line that they didn’t need to cross.

It turned out that Jihoon apparently had waited a while before waking Namjoon up since when they got to the nest, almost everybody was already asleep. Namjoon did want to ask the youngest beta why, but he shrugged mentally and decided he didn’t actually care for the reason. He let himself be pulled into the bed and let Jihoon wrap himself around him like an octopus.

Namjoon fell back asleep, enjoying the warmth of the other body close to him. Jihoon might not have been the person that he was closest with when he arrived with Block B, but to say that he had become smitten with the youngest beta would be a huge understatement. He couldn’t stop himself from cuddling closer to Jihoon as sleep finally came over him, placing his hands over Jihoon’s as they rested on his stomach.

When he woke up, light was shining into the nest. It was clear that when somebody had left the room earlier, they had pulled apart the curtains letting in the sunlight. Namjoon wasn’t sure how long he had been sleeping, but it had to have been a while judging by how far up in the sky the sun was. That wasn’t the thing that woke up Namjoon. No, the thing that woke him up was the moan that was forced from his lips.

He felt confused at first. His body was on fire with pleasure, but not in the same way as his heat had been where it was clouding his mind, but like he was having a wet dream that didn’t stop when he woke up. It took his pleasure-soaked brain a few seconds to realize what was going on. What was going on was that somebody was grinding up against Namjoon’s ass, and his body was responding with its most natural response of being turned on and was starting to produce slick.

That was when Namjoon realized who was behind him, as a soft whine was being made into his neck… Jihoon, Namjoon hadn’t expected the younger… no older? That was a thought for another time, the maknae, to be so… blunt. While Namjoon had enjoyed a fair bit of sexual contact with Block B, he hadn’t done anything with Jihoon other than a pretty hot makeout session.

That being said, it wasn’t unwelcome by any means. While yes Namjoon was surprised, he could without a doubt get into it, especially since he could feel just how hard Jihoon was rubbing up against his ass. Namjoon couldn’t stop thinking about how good the beta would feel inside him. It was a little weird how the other’s hands were kinda just hanging lax over his stomach and not doing something, but he could ignore that.

One specifically hard thrust against Namjoon’s ass and he could no longer hold in the moan of Jihoon’s name. He expected the other to be surprised that he was awake, but he got no reaction from the beta. Okay then, Jihoon seemed to be too lost in his own pleasure to realize anything that was going on, so yes that seemed kinda selfish, but Namjoon could get into it, especially since he had a hard time focusing on anything other than the hard dick pressing against his ass and how hard he was himself.

It was only when Namjoon flipped himself around, no longer being able to stand not being able to kiss Jihoon, and after he was feeling a little weird because of the weird sounds the younger was making… that he realized something… something he hadn’t expected...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are soon at the end of Namjoon's time with Block B... It's very sad, we have some smut with Jihoon left, some smut wiht Taeil left and then Zico making Namjoon cry... and then we are done.
> 
> Then there is a little bit of Jimin with Exo (In which I have written a good chunk already), Namjoon with Monsta x, Seokjin with TVXQ, Namjoon with BTS... and then we have Climax... and then we are done... Like Done done...
> 
> Also a side story with Leos' nonsexual rut is done and is with my beta!


	94. You're under my skin, You won't know even if I tell you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not dead I promise

Jihoon was asleep.

Yeah, that was not what Namjoon had expected. As he turned around the in the beta’s arms, he was greeted with Jihoon’s face… still asleep. Small moans were being torn from him from time to time as he grinded his hips into Namjoon, but there was no doubt about it Jihoon was still asleep.

Namjoon would probably have laughed if he wasn’t still so turned on. It was still a little funny, he wasn’t sure how to react, until one harsher thrust from Jihoon, almost laced with desperation, made the choice clear for Namjoon.

While he personally would have been fine with letting this run its course, he also didn’t feel comfortable with the idea that Jihoon would not be awake and able to consent. So forcing himself to ignore his very prominent erection and the arousing moans and whines out of the beta’s mouth, he lightly shook Jihoon awake, bringing the man out of his sleep-heavy state.

It took almost 10 seconds before Jihoon actual woke up. His hips stilled, and his pretty eyes opened themselves to sleepily look at Namjoon. It took the older a few seconds to realize the state of his body and their position. As his eyes peeled open it took a few more seconds before he reacted, throwing himself away from Namjoon as a word vomit left his mouth, “I AM SO SORRY! I DON’T KNOW WHY I WAS DOING THAT! I WOULD NEVER WANNA FORCE MYSELF ONTO YOU!” His breathing was reaching a more and more panicked level. Namjoon was starting to think that the way he woke the older up might not have been the best way.

“Please please believe me! I would never do that to you! Unless we had talked about it or planned for it! Or that you were into it! I would never touch you while you slept! Oh my god! I am so sorry! Please don’t hate me.” Jihoon sounded like he was about to go into a panic attack, and Namjoon knew that he had to act right at that moment.

“Jihoon Jihoon Jihoon! Please calm down,” ignoring the arousal still resting low in his stomach he crawled toward Jihoon and placed his hands on Jihoon’s face to force the Block B maknae to look at him, “It’s okay, we are okay. See? I am okay, and you are okay. Everything is going to be okay, but you need to breathe!”

Still clearly shook about what had happened, Jihoon forced himself to take two big breaths before he once again spoke up, “I didn’t know what I was doing, I swear I was asleep!”

“I know. I am not mad at you, I promise, I understand what happened. I just didn’t feel comfortable not waking you up, cause I wanted YOUR consent.”

Jihoon just pointed at himself, not seeming to understand what Namjoon meant at first, “My consent? But you know I find you attractive, and we have done… stuff!” The tips of Jihoon’s ears turned a light pink color.

“Just cause you gave consent then, does not mean that you would give it now. I would never do that.”

Jihoon and Namjoon just kinda stared at each other for a moment. Both seeming to realize that both had been afraid that the other person wasn’t giving consent, forgetting to think about themselves giving consent.

And then they just started giggling a little, “Is this something that happens a lot? Where you do stuff in your sleep?”

The beta looked a little shy, “Sometimes, it’s worse when I am stressed. It hasn’t happened in a while. It’s not just sexual stuff! Just… sleep walking or acting.”

“Have you been stressed? Are you okay?” Namjoon’s leader sense was tingling, especially when Jihoon tried to look away from him.

“It’s nothing,” the words were mumbled, and it sounded like Jihoon didn’t even believe in them himself.

Namjoon, who still had his hands on Jihoon’s face, forced the beta to look at him, “Tell me what is wrong. I promise we can fix it. If you don’t want me to, I won’t tell the rest of your pack unless it’s something that could hurt you by not telling them.”

“I don’t know how to be a hyung.” It was like the words had forced themselves out of Jihoon’s mouth, and the younger looked surprised at the fact that he was unable to keep the words in.

That was… not what Namjoon had expected at all “What do you mean?”

“I am supposed to be your hyung, but I don’t know how to! I have always just been the maknae, I have always been the youngest in the group. I don’t know how to stop being the maknae.”

And then suddenly everything made sense. The last few days, maybe even week, it seemed that Jihoon hadn’t known how to act around Namjoon. At first, Namjoon had genuinely been worried that it was Jihoon not being okay with the idea of Namjoon joining the pack, until Jaehyo had told him that it wasn’t the problem and that Jihoon just needed a little bit of time to think about what was going on before he felt ready to tell Namjoon.

Namjoon hadn’t liked the response, but he had also trusted that the older omega wanted the best for all of them. If Jaehyo said that it was the best way of dealing with it, then Namjoon trusted him.

“Who says you have to stop being the maknae,” Namjoon had thought about this as well, “I know that in our society age is important, but I don’t need you to be my hyung… I don’t think I want you to be my hyung. You have always been the maknae, and I have always treated you like everybody else have… I have always thought of you as the maknae, just like I think of Kookie.”

Now that… got a reaction from Jihoon that he didn’t expect… the beta looked hurt, “You think I would hurt you.”

Oh… He should have seen this coming, shouldn’t he? It hurt him that that was what people were thinking about Jungkook, that they thought that it was all he saw in Jungkook. Yes Jungkook had hurt him, but Jungkook had done many other things than just hurt him. No matter who Namjoon ended up joining as a pack, Jungkook would always be his precious maknae.

The thing was he had never really explained that, had he? He had just denied it every time people called Kookie a monster, but he had never explained what else Jungkook was to him, was in general. “No, that was not what I meant. I meant that you are precious to me that you are somebody I deeply care for and somebody I want to look after. Age doesn’t have to change that. Yes you might be older than me, but that doesn’t change how I see you.” Namjoon leaned forward to press the sweetest kiss he could to the beta’s lips. He wanted to defend Jungkook, but he also knew that now wasn’t the time. Right now his focus was on Jihoon, not defending Jungkook’s honor. Hopefully, Vixx was doing that, then again thinking back on his text message chains with Wonshik, they did indeed seem to be busy defending Jungkook’s honor, while also teaching Jungkook to be better.

As the soft kiss between the men broke, Jihoon still looked a little shy “Really? I don’t have to change how I am? I can stay this way?”

It kinda softly broke Namjoon’s heart that Jihoon had been dealing with this, thinking that Namjoon would want him to change, that he wouldn’t love Jihoon for how he was. All he could do was just hug him close, “I would never want you to change. I don’t need a hyung, I just need you.”

“Softy,” Jihoon teased, but Namjoon didn’t get to answer that Jihoon loved it, because instead he got kissed by an eager beta, and all Namjoon could do was kiss him back. Not that he would complain, Jihoon was a wonderful person to kiss.

It ended up with Jihoon having Namjoon pushed on his back, so he could easily kiss him. Something that Namjoon was happy with as he closed his thighs around the beta’s hips to keep him there.

Neither of them seemed to have noticed just how heated it had become until Namjoon could not hold in a moan as their hips grinded up against each other. They finally broke the kiss as both had a light blush over their expressions, before Jihoon hesitantly asked, “So… you know how this all started are you still… uhm…. Up for it? Now that we are both awake.”

Now that was an offer Namjoon could not turn down. Ever since he had woken up, the low simmering of arousal had constantly been sitting in his stomach. Add in the fact that Jihoon did smell really really good, Namjoon was quick to nod he looked at the beta. “How do you wanna do this?” It would be the first time that he was doing the deed full on with the youngest Block B member.

For a second Jihoon hesitated, “Can I… you know… uhm.”

“Jaebum once told me that if you aren’t old enough to talk about sex, you aren’t old enough to have sex.” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from teasing Jihoon, the older really was too cute.

At that Jihoon full on pouted, “I don’t know how to ask without seeming crass! I wanted to know if I could… you know…”

“Fuck me?” Normally Namjoon himself wouldn’t have found it this easy to talk about it, but it was easy to relax with Jihoon.

The younger nodded shyly, “Yeah, if it’s okay with you.”

“Of course,” Namjoon still wasn’t sure why Jihoon seemed so surprised. He was an omega after all, he enjoyed getting fucked… it was almost like… oh, “Jaehyo fucks you doesn’t he?”

What was a soft shy blush before, turned into a full body blush, that in Jihoon’s shirtless state, Namjoon could see it stretch down from his cheeks to his throat and chest. Jihoon’s answer became almost impossible to actually hear what he was saying, “maybe, it’s not like that! I uhm…”

“Yes?”

Jihoon’s blush was slowly becoming more and more aggressive and Namjoon at that point actually started to worry that he might have broken Jihoon, “He just has a really big dick okay! And he is really good at it!”

Now that Namjoon could not deny. He had personally been on the receiving end of a very great Ahn Jaehyo fucking, and Namjoon could say without a doubt, that he had probably never had a better dicking down than by the omega. Which was kinda weird, since omega’s normally had smaller genitalia since they weren’t meant to reproduce that way. But adding that, and an amazing technique, plus the amazing face to look at that was Jaehyo and a scent that wasn’t just omega scent, but a plant that was a natural aphrodisiac… and yeah… Jaehyo fucked like a champion. Namjoon really couldn’t fault Jihoon for preferring to receive the fucking than giving it.

But that didn’t stop him from giggling, “You are right in that.”

“Does that mean you will actually let me?” Jihoon looked surprised, but also happy and eager.

“Do you normally never top?” Namjoon wasn’t judging him, he was mainly just surprised. Jihoon was a big guy, at least vertically. Looking at him you would think that Jihoon mainly topped, but Namjoon really should have known better, shouldn’t he? Namjoon himself was a big guy at least when it came to height, and while he could top and enjoyed it at times, he had found most of his pleasure came from bottoming.

“I do sometimes!” Jihoon looked almost defensive, as defensive as you could be while pouting, “Just not for Jaehyo… Minhyuk…. Jiho… Yukwon… I swear I top sometimes!”

“What about Kyung?” Namjoon really couldn’t stop himself from teasing the maknae.

“He might be tiny and stuff! But I swear he can get it when he wants to, and he does! Like he is amazing.”

“And Taeil?”

“I top Taeil!” The beta looked almost proud at himself, until he continued “Kinda… You know Taeil, he kinda still runs the show, but technically it is my dick going places! But you can’t blame me! He might be tiny and have a cute face, and he is all cute and stuff, but he can also be bossy when he want to! He is my oldest hyung, and he was always the one who were most patient with me when I was trying to find out who I was sexually. He guided me a lot and he still does! And he is so hot though, have you seen his body covered in those tattoos? They are so gorgeous. He is so gorgeous, and his hands are so soft, and they are so good at showing me what to.”

Both Namjoon and Jihoon seemed to be a little caught up in the picture that the beta was spinning, but Jihoon seemed to be especially into it as he rocked his hips into Namjoon seemingly not even noticing it. Too lost in the picture he was weaving of his own pack mate, he only seemed to notice what he was doing, when a moan was forced from both of their lips.

“I am sorry!” Again, Jihoon was quick to jump the sorry train, “I didn’t mean to focus on somebody else!” and again Namjoon found it silly. He liked the picture that Jihoon was weaving, and he liked hearing the deeply aroused tone in the betas voice. He himself felt turned on by what was being talked about.

“Don’t be sorry, tell me more.” Namjoon felt cheeky at that point, but he really didn’t want Jihoon to stop.

“But…” Namjoon shushed him before he could continue.

“I want to know,”

“But… I thought we were gonna…”

“Who says we can’t while?” Namjoon wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. He had never felt this much ‘in-control’ during a sexual situation. No that was wrong, this wasn’t about control, this was about him actually knowing what he wanted. He had never before felt so sure that he actually knew what he wanted, and he didn’t feel like he had to back down. He wasn’t afraid of having his opinion, and he felt right by expressing his wants, especially knowing that it was actually something Jihoon wanted as well.

“Are you sure?” Jihoon looked both surprised, but also very eager. It was so clear how whipped Jihoon was for his pack. “I don’t want you to think that they are more important than you, that I can’t enjoy myself with you without having my pack there.”

At that Namjoon couldn’t really do anything other than guiding Jihoon’s hand that used to be on his hip, down to the front of his loose shorts instead, where it was clear that Namjoon was turned on, “You aren’t the only one who is enjoying themselves.”

“Oh... “Jihoon looked surprised as he grinded the root of his hands into Namjoon’s crotch to give him something to grind against. “Oh!” It finally seemed to have hit him what Namjoon was actually saying.

Namjoon moaned out at the touch, but also grinning at Jihoon, “Now tell me.”

“All of them?” Jihoon sounded excited, and it supported Namjoon’s idea that all maknaes were born with an invisible puppy tail that would wag at times they were excited. Yugyeom… Jungkook… Jihoon… Junhong… Chankyung… All maknaes were adorable people who deserved nothing but hugs and kisses.

Namjoon nodded in agreement. He still had no idea why he loved this idea so much, loved to hear Jihoon tell him about all of Block B, but he did. Especially when the beta really caught onto the idea.

He rolled Namjoon over on his back and quickly taking a spot between his legs with a grin on his face, rolling their hips together as he stared at Namjoon, then he started speaking “Jiho is a special one. He prefers to be a lazy bottom most of the time, so so lazy. If you ever want lazy morning sex, he is the best one. He has this way of just making you relax and feel like you are wrapped on cotton and able to ignore the world, but when he has been gone for a while he is very different.” Jihoon was rocking their hips together in loose movements and nipping at Namjoon’s collarbones while speaking, “He gets overly eager and almost rips your clothes off and his own. It’s almost like he can’t touch you fast enough. Once he got home when I was home alone, he had this almost desperate look in his eyes, like he would have died if he hadn’t gotten to touch somebody in the next second. He was so gentle, but also clearly desperate as he pushed me down on the couch. I am not even sure where our clothes went, I am almost sure that magic was used, I see no other option.”

The picture painted was dancing around in Namjoon’s head as he helped Jihoon take off both of their shirts. Maybe yes Jihoon was not being the next Shakespeare. But that was okay, Namjoon didn’t need him to be, he could easily imagine everything. “But he is also such a tease when he has been gone! He will be all eager and pushy and then when you finally get to it, when stuff finally gets on, prep is done, and you think yes fucking will finally happen… And then it doesn’t, because as soon as he pushes inside he will stop. He will freeze when he finally bottoms out! It doesn’t matter how much you beg him to move, how desperate you are for him to goddamn it just move! He won’t do it… I think it’s because he wants to savor the moment, like he can’t really believe what is going on. It sounds sweet doesn’t it? It really isn’t, you will start feeling desperate for him to do anything… to just do something! But he won’t, he will hug you close and just… lie there. He will zone out everything that is happening around him, only notice you. When you finally think that you are gonna go insane, that this is actually how you die… of blueballs, he will finally move. But he will still be so gentle and careful. He goes from almost ripping your cloth off to thinking that even a little touch is gonna break you. It’s even worse for the guys who are shorter. He seems to be scared that he will hurt us because he has about as much limb control as a spaghetti, but we all know that he might look tough and scary, but he is actually about as scary as a teacup piglet.”

At that Namjoon couldn’t hold in a weird giggle combined with a moan, it fit Jiho so well, and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that if he joined Block B would Jiho be like this to him as well. Or would Namjoon be like this? When he would return after being gone with BTS for a while?

Jihoon had sucked a fun little mark into Namjoon’s collarbone. At that point Namjoon was already aware that even though the beta wouldn’t admit it, he had a thing for marking people. Which Namjoon could not judge him for, there was one especially memorable time that Namjoon was thinking about. It had been the first time him and Jihoon had been together alone, and Jihoon had spent a lot of time placing small sucked in marks all over his thighs. Like he was gonna get a prize for seeing how many he could place there.

Well the prize had been a core shaking orgasm from Namjoon, so Jihoon seemed to have been satisfied. Right now he helped Namjoon out of his shorts, before he picked his speech up again “Yukwon is in high demand, as the only member with a knot. He at times gets passed around like a toy. I don’t know how it was in the start when it was just him, Jaehyo, and Taeil, but he has gotten a lot more comfortable in himself as an alpha. And his knot is amazing. He is always so damn careful with us, even Jaehyo gets treated like he is a princess that could break any minute.  
But if you tease him just enough, push and pull with him just enough, he will finally give in and give you the fucking of a lifetime and he will actually enjoy himself as he knots you. Yukwon’s knotting face is seriously way too attractive. Knots are so good though. It’s so weird that people don’t think that betas or alphas should take knot, yeah you need to be careful, but it can be so hot. You should watch Minhyuk take a knot, him and Yukwon are so hot together.  
You would love to see them together. Most of the time it’s weird to me that people think that Minhyuk is an alpha, but then you see them in bed together and you think that, yeah, he could have been an alpha. They are so hot together. It’s kinda like a fight for dominance, but not really, it’s more of a dance for dominance, not the toxic kind where people think that you are lesser for it, but… it’s hard to describe, but it’s so hot! The way they come together and push each other around.”

Namjoon could imagine it, and closing his eyes taking in the image he threw his head back with a moan much louder than planned as Jihoon had finally started teasing around Namjoon’s entrance. Still to this day, Namjoon was shocked by how much slick he could and did produce. It was a real-life sign that his body was finally starting to accept that it was an omega. It was finally actually acting like it was supposed to, and Namjoon couldn’t be happier. He finally felt normal.

Jihoon was still pressing small kisses all over Namjoon’s face, while slowly and carefully doing his best to prepare Namjoon for what was coming, but he also wasn’t letting up with his words. He was just as into as Namjoon was. Not just because he liked to share about his pack, but because he liked to share it with Namjoon. While he knew that he shouldn’t keep his hopes up, that he knew that there was only around a 20% chance that Namjoon would actually join them, he also felt that in his hearts of hearts, something he wouldn’t say out loud, that Namjoon would join them.

He wasn’t just sharing some stories of his pack. No, he was telling who he hoped to be his new pack member about their pack. He was introducing a part of Block B to Namjoon that the other had never seen before. So not only yes, did he get off on talking about his pack, he also got off on the fact that he felt that he was getting closer to Namjoon in some way.

This wasn’t just a mark on Namjoon’s body, something that would go away after some time, this was a memory that Namjoon would keep with him forever. This was something that Jihoon and him shared, this was something that mattered.

Plus, you know… he did get off on talking about his group mates, he couldn’t really deny that.

“Minhyuk can go from hot to cold in a heartbeat during sex, but not like abusive or anything like that, but from hard edges to fluff ball in a few seconds, He tries to be dominant if we want it. I wanted him to spank me once, but I accidentally started crying because it felt so good. After that he kept apologizing thinking that he had hurt me, and he wouldn’t listen to me when I said it just felt too good.  
While he tries to pretend it isn’t like that, he is the person who finds sex to be love in it’s deepest form. For most of us while sex means stuff of course. It’s also about getting off, because it’s sex and getting off feels nice. Minhyuk can’t get it up unless he has some kind of feelings for the person, whether that be deep friendship or romantic feelings, he is just a sap. He struggles to keep at it unless he can see the person he is with’s face. He is one giant sappy person, but that’s okay we all still love him as our giant loveable sap… Well not that giant, but you know what I mean.” he grinned at Namjoon, making sure that he still had the omega’s attention.

If you asked Jihoon later, he would tell you that Namjoon had some of the most beautiful moans when he finally let them out. Namjoon would often try to hold them back a little seeming almost a little shy about them, but in moments like this when he was too lost in the feelings and in Jihoon’s words he couldn’t even try to hold them back. He was just letting Jihoon’s words and hands guide him, scraping his almost completely bitten-down nails down the beta’s back, without a doubt leaving marks that would sting like hell in the shower, but it was all worth it. This was all worth it.

Jihoon had felt split when Kyung and Jiho had brought the idea up of courting Namjoon. When they had first talked about it back before Namjoon reached 18, Jihoon had been all for it without a doubt. He had always thought that Namjoon would be an omega. Namjoon was a soft gangly tall bean, of course he was gonna be an omega when he wasn’t busy acting all ‘I am a hardcore rapper, I don’t even like cuddles! Even though cuddles are the best thing ever’. But then he didn’t present… and everything went weird, Jihoon and everybody else accepted that okay, maybe Namjoon wouldn’t join them and then they moved on.

And then everything went down…

Suddenly Namjoon was an omega, and he was in the hospital and he had almost died. Jihoon had been told everything by Kyung. They had no secrets from each other, it was one of the rules they had as a pack. When everything was told, the story was done, Kyung had asked a simple question, did they still want to court Namjoon? Kyung made it clear for everybody that nobody would be judged for saying no, and that they would only go ahead with it if everybody agreed.

Everybody agreed.

But it didn’t feel real until Namjoon arrived, and then it did. For Jihoon it felt real and it felt like this could last. This wasn’t just like when any of their other friends were spending time with them, either because their own pack was busy or just to catch up and chill. This felt different. Namjoon felt different.

Namjoon helped Jihoon push off the beta’s pants before he pulled him down into a deep kiss, pulling him close using his legs around Jihoon’s waist. As the kiss broke, they just stared at each other for a few seconds, before Jihoon with the utmost care guided himself to Namjoon’s entrance and slowly pushed in.

Neither seemed to have the care left in them to even think if somebody else was in the dorm. All they knew was that they were alone in that moment, and they couldn’t get themselves to care about how loud they were being or not being, because they were being loud without a doubt. The moans wrenched from both of them were louder than they would normally be, but they simply couldn’t find it in themselves to actually care.

For a few seconds, as Jihoon finally bottomed out, they just stared at each other, breathing in perfect sync, taking in the other person. Then Jihoon picked up his almost speech again, “Then there is Jaehyo. I don’t know what we have ever done to deserve to Jaehyo, but I am pretty sure I was a saint in my last life. There is no other way that we have gotten that lucky. He is so tall and has model proportions. Other omegas would be afraid of having to handle so many betas without another omega and just one alpha, but Jaehyo doesn’t give a damn.  
And he is so hot when he bosses people around, and he always seems to know what to do and say. There was one special time, I can’t even remember what I was doing in the kitchen, but suddenly he was just pressing up against my back. He seemed to just have magically figured out that I was feeling frustrated all day. He just seems to be able to read moods so well.”

Now Namjoon could believe that. He had had an encounter with Jaehyo himself. It was shortly after he had arrived, and he was still feeling the side effects of his heat and Jaehyo was just a gorgeous man. Jaehyo just seemed to be able to understand what was going on with a person without any problems, especially when it was sexual.

“We ended up fucking over the kitchen table. Both of us were banished to the couch when the rest of everybody figured out, but they quickly regretted that when they realized that they had to sit on it as well.” Jihoon was at that time moving his hips in an easy rhythm, still focusing on his words and Namjoon beneath him, but at the same time he was also holding a tempo that was pleasing both of them.

That was until he suddenly froze and looked almost shocked as a teasing voice spoke up, “You are talking about me without even calling for me. Now that is rude, isn’t it?”

It was Jaehyo. He was peeking at Namjoon over Jihoon’s shoulder. The beta flushed a deep red colour as he realized that he had been figured out, that Jaehyo probably had heard everything that he had said about him. Namjoon felt shy as well, not really sure how Jaehyo would react.

What if he felt that it was stuff that Jihoon shouldn’t have shared, what if he was angry? It turned out that there was nothing for Namjoon to fear, as both him and Jihoon took in Jaehyo’s scent. It had no traces of anger or anything else, just pure and unadulterated desire. The older omega was turned on, really turned on, by what he had walked in on.

And right as Namjoon seemed to realize it, staring shyly up into Jaehyo’s deep dark eyes, the older winked at him. Then a lot of things happened at once. Jihoon suddenly pulled a shocked facial expression, as he moaned deep in throat, and thrusted hard into Namjoon, forcing an equally surprised and stunned facial expression from Namjoon as the pleasure traveled up his body. At the same time, Jaehyo closed his lips around the lobe of Jihoon’s ear lightly nipping at it.

As Jaehyo released the beta’s earlobe, he grinned. “Now that’s a little rude, Joonie clearly wasn’t expecting that. He is gonna think that you have terrible self-control now my love. That all it takes is a little ass play and suddenly you have the self-control of a newly presented lil beta.”

Oh… suddenly Jihoon’s reaction made more sense, and Namjoon couldn’t explain it but he felt even more turned on at the thought of what was going on behind Jihoon. He could blame it on Jaehyo’s scent, but he knew that it would be a lie. While Jaehyo smelt nice and his scent was a natural aphrodisiac that was not the reason.

No, Namjoon was just a hoe for love between pack members, and this was no different. “Jae…” Jihoon’s words were breathless like he had been running a marathon, and his body on top of Namjoon was awkwardly stiff as he was clearly trying his best not move at all.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from running his hand through the beta’s soft hair. He was not currently having it dye, so it was a lot softer than Namjoon was used to hair being on an idol. It was a gesture to show the older that Namjoon was okay, that he had just been surprised.

Jaehyo, didn’t seem to be done teasing his maknae, “Are you just gonna spaghetti it love? I thought you wanted to tell Joonie about how our pack was, about all the dirty things going on, and what you show him is a limb pasta version of yourself. You can do better, can’t you?”

The words might sound harsh, but Jaehyo seemed to be fully aware and in control of the situation, as he moved his hand and once again nibbled at Jihoon’s shoulder, “Now show Joonie how good you can be, and move your hips. If you are really good, I might even give you what you want.”

Nobody needed to say what it was that Jaehyo was talking about, it was clear to everybody what it was that older omega was talking about. Up until now, while Namjoon might have seemed like a passive part in it, he still felt like he was clearly a part of it. He wasn’t left out, Jaehyo’s soft hand was on Namjoon’s thigh and the way other omega kept making eye contact with him was a clear sign that if anything… He was putting on a show for Namjoon.

Which that was fine with Namjoon, he smiled back at Jaehyo over Jihoon’s shoulder before turning his attention back to the panting beta, running a hand through the maknae’s hair, “You are doing so well already.”

He didn’t know where the words were coming from. He didn’t know when he had gotten so comfortable and sure of himself. While yes he was no Jaehyo, he felt comfortable with the words he was saying, he felt happy and aroused by guiding Jihoon with soft hands, telling him how good he was being as he slowly started to move his hips again.

Jihoon was clearly conflicted. He couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to fuck himself back on Jaehyo’s fingers or into Namjoon, and it was amazing to look at. It was amazing to have Jihoon between them.

Namjoon had never been… the aggressor, no that wasn’t the right word, but Namjoon wasn’t sure what the right word was, whatever this was, it was a position he had never been in before. Everybody was always so soft and careful with him, which he loved and appreciated, but at that moment, the way that Jaehyo looked at him. That he clearly trusted Namjoon to help him take care of Jihoon.

That was an important moment for Namjoon. He realized a lot of things about himself. Yeah, he was an omega and he loved having people take care of him, but he was also Namjoon. He loved moments like this, where he could get to have somebody else as his main focus. He had been the leader for so long, it was part of who he was. At times yes, he needed to leave it all behind and just have a moment to be treated softly, but being the leader was one of his main character traits.

He would never be Jaehyo, but he was never going to be Jimin either… and maybe… Maybe a middle part was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, I should probably say I am not giving up on this story and I am not getting tired of it either, nor I'm I burning out, that is not why the chapters have been late.
> 
> The thing is that before last chapter I was on holiday with my parents, which are devout Christians and pretty homophobic, so writing close to them is a bad idea, and now... well... the new WoW expansion has come out and I have an addiction to video games >-<
> 
> But I promise that I am not giving up on it! More story is coming, I have 1k written on the next chapter already!
> 
> Also!!!!
> 
> There was a side story released it's about Leo's non sexual rut! Hope you guys enjoyed!


	95. Look at me one last time Smile like nothing’s wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are back!

Namjoon’s time with Block B was coming to an end. They all knew that it wasn’t that he wanted to leave them, he was enjoying his time with them, but Namjoon also was looking forward to spending time with Monsta X.

He had kept in contact via text with the Monsta X members, and he had talked with them on the phone a fair few times. Overall, he was looking forward to spending time with them. They were so different than everybody else Namjoon had spent time with. They had no connection to everything that had happened.

He felt like he was just Namjoon with them, not the omega who had rejected his subgender for years. It felt nice. It felt like he could just be him without all the expectations. He was still using the notebook that Wonho gave him, and it was a gift that he could use every day, it reminded him of the letter and always made him smile.

Once Hoseok had found him just sitting in his studio staring at the book with a soft smile on his face that the alpha hadn’t seen in a very long time. He had originally wanted to ask Namjoon something, but he couldn’t get himself to say anything and interrupt the younger. So instead he just leaned against the door and stared at him.

Hoseok had expected to feel awkward about it, maybe sad that Namjoon was clearly so deep in-thought about somebody that wasn’t from BTS, but he wasn’t… he was happy. Beast had really opened his eyes. While he wanted Namjoon to join them, while he would do everything to prove to Namjoon that they were worth it to him… That Hoseok himself was worth it to be his alpha, he now also knew that a group and a pack could work even if one group member wasn’t part of it.

Beast weren’t anything less just because they hadn’t had all of the group members in their pack. BTS wouldn’t be anything less without Namjoon in the pack, but they would be less if Namjoon left the group, and they had almost lost Namjoon for good… Hoseok was not gonna let that happen again. He would make sure that Namjoon was happy.

Hopefully it was with BTS that he would find happiness, but he would defend Namjoon as if it was the last he ever did if he needed to. He would never forget what Doojoon had told him, what makes a strong alpha is not what they fight or how they attack… It’s how they defend and how they love.

It was a lesson that Hoseok would never forget, and something he would never stop being thankful for Doojoon for. He knew that he didn’t have long with Beast left, having to return to BTS for good, but he had made friends for a lifetime.

He would never forget Beast and what they had done for him.

After looking at Namjoon for a while, he slowly backed out and closed the door gently behind him. Hoseok wasn’t sure who Namjoon was with at the moment, but he knew how much that notebook meant to him.

Hmmm they should really find a courting gift for Namjoon when he joined them again, somehow just saying sorry didn’t really seem like it would cut it. Hoseok wondered to himself if Jimin and Seokjin would help him, they did seem to understand Namjoon the most.

Namjoon hadn’t really noticed anything about Hoseok. He had been too caught up in his own mind, but when he left the BigHit studios that day he was in a good mood. He didn’t know why, but he felt that it was a good day.

Things were surprising when he got back to the Block B dorm. It turned out that only Jiho was home, something that was abnormal. The Block B leader was normally the last one to get home, but instead he was taking a nap in the nest while cuddled up in a too big hoodie.

Jiho looked so soft and sweet as he slowly opened his eyes yawning, before Namjoon could even ask Jiho explained,“I haven’t gotten a lot of sleep lately, and I were feeling clammy at practice, so they sent me home.”

That did explain a lot of things. It didn’t make any sense that Jiho would go home without being told to, he was way too stubborn. But Jiho’s words also did worry Namjoon a bit. Both Yoongi and himself were prone to overworking and he was worried for Jiho’s health.

Namjoon quickly found himself crawling into the nest to put a hand on Jiho’s forehead, wanting to feel for himself if Jiho really was sickly, “I am fine!” Jiho’s voice was whiny, but he lay still so Namjoon could do his check.

He seemed to understand that it was important for Namjoon, and he would probably have felt the same himself if it was one of the other members feeling under the weather. So, he let Namjoon be his protective self. He knew better than to try and stop an omega who wanted to take care of him, and he especially knew better than to try and stop Namjoon.

Didn’t stop him from pouting though.

He was aware that he was supposed to be the big bad Zico, leader of Block B, but right at that moment, he was just Jiho, and Jiho was still feeling clammy and wanted hugs and cuddles.

“I can see what they meant, you are feeling a little clammy. How are you in general? Feeling sick?” Namjoon’s voice was filled with concern.

“Yes, I am getting very sick.”

Jiho could instantly see the horror on Namjoon’s face. Getting sick in the k-pop industry was bad, there was a high chance that you would get forced to perform while still ill, and he could see the clocks turning in Namjoon’s too big brain to figure out what he could do to make sure Jiho would be okay.

That was until Jiho finished his sentence “The only known cure is cuddles.”

For a few seconds Namjoon just looked confused, until he realized what Jiho was talking about “You!” Jiho couldn’t stop himself from laughing, Namjoon looked way too cute at that moment. He looked so confused at first and then almost insulted, “I was so worried about you! And this is how you pay me back!”

Jiho just grinned before grabbing a hold of Namjoon’s hand that was still resting near his head to pull him gently down into the nest. Normally he would just have grabbed and pulled Namjoon, but he still felt that he had to be more careful with the omega who still weight way too little for the beta’s comfort, so he had to be a little careful with him until he was back to normal.

Namjoon was still full on pouting as his body bounced down into the bed, but quickly gave in to the cuddles and cuddled the beta close, “Don’t do that again! I got really worried.”

The older just smiled, “I just wanted to tease you a little, since I heard you were good at taking care of people.”

At that Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing a little. It was clear that Jiho had heard of what had gone down between him, Jihoon, and Jaehyo. “Shut up,” he was actively trying to bury his face in Jiho’s shoulder wanting to hide from the elder’s words.

“Aww, but I have heard so much about it,” Namjoon could almost hear the grin in his voice. “Jihoon almost won’t shut up about it.” The younger didn’t even need to look at him to know that Jiho was full on doing eyebrow wiggles in a teasing fashion, he just knew.

But his tone got a lot more serious when he spoke his next lines, “Thank you, for how you dealt with Jihoon. None of us seemed to understand how much he was pressuring himself around this. We were all stupid and thought it was obvious that everything would just stay as it was. We had already talked it over so many years ago.”

Namjoon hummed a little “I am glad he told me… I really care about him, about all of you.”

“We care about you as well, I hope you know this. We have told you many times now, but I will say it again. We mean it seriously, we think you could be a permanent part of us, you fit us.” Jiho quickly seeming to understand that it could seem like he was pressuring Namjoon continued, “And I know that there is no guarantee that you will join us, and nobody will judge you if we find out that this doesn’t work, but I still want you to know how much you mean to us… to me.”

At that Namjoon lifted his head from where he was still hiding his face in Jiho’s shoulder, he hesitated for a second, afraid to ask a question that had been on his mind since he had left the Got7 dorm. It was a fear that he had buried deep inside him that was now coming to the surface. “Even if I don’t end up fitting with you guys, even if I choose somebody else, are we still going to be friends? Are any of you still going to be my friends?”  
This was a real fear Namjoon had been thinking about in a while, with so much attention on him recently, with so many people wanting his attention, people wanting to be close to him… people giving him the love and affection he had secretly been wanting for so long.

But all of these people were close to him because they wanted to court him. He wondered if after all of this was over, if he really only would have Big Bang left, the one group not courting him who just wanted to be his friends. This was a genuine concern for him. Even if he would have a pack, he didn’t know if he could go back to feeling isolated from his friends.

A little lost in his own head, he hadn’t even realized that he had frozen up and he had been ignoring Jiho who had been trying to communicate with him, “Joonie? Namjoon?”

Zoning back into reality instead of his thoughts that he had been stuck in, he looked at Jiho who sighed in relief. “I hate when you do that, sometimes I worry that you are gonna get lost in that big brain of yours and never find a way out.”

Namjoon just pouted, “I wouldn’t do that!”

With a raised eyebrow Jiho scowled at him, “I will agree that you were way worse at it when we were younger, but that doesn’t mean that it’s still not worrying.” Then his face relaxed and got almost sad as he remembered Namjoon’s question, “None of us would ever stop being your friend even if you don’t pick us. I am not gonna lie to you, cause I promised you I wouldn’t, I can’t say that there won’t be some hurt feelings, but we will get over it.  
I can’t speak for the other packs, but I know them well enough to assume that they would never do something like that to you either.” Jiho felt guilty; he wasn’t lying so as much as he was twisting the truth.

He didn’t have faith that BTS would still treat him the same if Namjoon didn’t pick them, but he also didn’t count them as ‘the other packs’. He wasn’t even should that he would count them as a pack, but after talking with Supreme Boi Jiho had a little more faith, that maybe… just maybe, they could get their shit together.

“No matter what happens, we are friends. I know things have been awkward before you presented, and a lot of us weren’t the friends you deserved.” This was something that Jiho had thought about for a long while, “I was guilty of this as well, pulling back when we thought you were a dud.  
We didn’t know how to interact with you. I felt that every time I touched you I were pushing too much. I felt that I suddenly had to cut all physical contact between us, which was hard, and I know this isn’t your fault and it sounds like I am blaming you, but I need you to understand that this was never your fault and it was not because we didn’t want to talk or spend time with you. It wasn’t because we suddenly didn’t want to hug or cuddle anymore. We thought we were doing the best for you. We thought we were respecting you.  
But in the end, we ended up hurting you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about it, how sorry we all are. You should have seen Jackson when we found out, he was destroyed, they all were… we all were. We realized how much we had hurt you.  
We are never going to do that to you again, never! We understand now. We are sorry that it took us this long, but we understand now. We understand how much we hurt you, and that will never leave us.  
So to answer your question, even if this doesn’t work out, if this isn’t the right choice, if we aren’t the right choice. We are gonna go back to being the same friends we were before any of us presented. We are gonna go back to being people that love each other as friends. Cause that is what we are no matter what, friends. We will always be that.”

Namjoon couldn’t find the correct answer, all he could really do was just stare at Jiho. The older beta had managed to hit and answer every single one of Namjoon’s fears about the future. He really should have expected it, Jiho knew him better than anybody. Of course the man would be able to tell Namjoon what he needed to hear, but he also said it in a way that Namjoon believed in it.

And Namjoon couldn’t blame Jiho for the past.

Namjoon himself had tried to force himself to fit into that little shelf, that little point. He had tried to be that person, he had tried to be the dud he apparently was. He had tried to stop needing people close to him, because he wasn’t supposed to need them, right?

“You mean it? It’s all going to be okay? I’ll still have friends, you won’t just… pull away from me again?” Namjoon wished that he could keep the fear out of his voice. He wanted to believe Jiho, but this was a fear he had kept in for so long that it was hard to suddenly ignore it.

The hug that Jiho gave him was so tight that Namjoon was almost sure that he could hear his ribs complain about the treatment given to them. “Never again,” Jiho kept mumbling the word as he was half rocking half hugging Namjoon close to him.

The younger had to actively fight the tears that was trying their damn hardest to escape him. He didn’t want to cry, he shouldn’t cry! There was nothing to cry about! He wasn’t even sure if it was happy tears of relief or sad tears over his past, but all he could do was hug Jiho close in return.

More than anything else, more than him maybe getting a pack, this had given Namjoon something he hadn’t had in a long time… It had given him Jiho back, a friend that he had missed for so long, “Thank you.”

It quickly turned into a cuddle with Namjoon constantly mumbling, thank you and Jiho mumbling never again in return. It had been the first time that the two friends had gotten to spend alone time. Namjoon had been focusing so much on getting to spend time with everybody else, focusing on what Bang PD-nim had said.

Namjoon had felt that it was important for him to really get to know every other member of the Block B pack, to feel close and what it would be like to actually be in a pack with them. Plus, Jiho was always so busy. It was clear to everybody that he had tried to spend as much time at home, so he could give this a real chance. But like Namjoon, he was working himself to an early grave.

“I missed you, you and Kyung… I felt lost after I didn’t present, and then suddenly nobody wanted to touch me.” Namjoon seemed to have finally gotten hold of his threatening to spill tears. There was gonna be no crying from him today, he had it under control!

“Never again, I promise you.” Jiho couldn’t express how guilty he felt. It was the same feeling that he had felt when they had gotten the news about Namjoon’s heart attack. It wasn’t just guilt, it was the feeling of bile gathering in his throat, it was the feeling of knowing that he had an active hand in what had gone down.

It was something that Jiho had talked with Jackson about before. They both blamed BTS so easily, all of them did that, but they all seemed to refuse to accept their own blame in this. They had enabled BTS, they could have at any time spoken up, could have stepped up… but they didn’t, they let it get this bad.

For a few moments, they just hugged each other close, this conversation had been desperately needed, until Namjoon laughed looking at Jiho’s face which was blotchy after clearly trying to hold his tears back, “Look at us. We are such a mess.”

And simple as that, with those words, all the pressuring feelings were over. They had talked it over and they could both relax at the end. Both half laughing and giggling at each other.

“You look way more like a mess than me!” Jiho couldn’t stop himself from teasing Namjoon, even though in reality, they were about equal on the mess scale.

Namjoon pouted, pushing lightly at the beta, “No way!”

“Yes way!”

The two had started to lightly push each other backwards and forwards. They used to wrestle all the time when they were younger. Since they were both almost 10 cm taller than the average Korean male, they used to feel like beanstalks and giants, but when they were together they had no problems with wrestling around with each other, feeling that it was a lot more even match.

It was almost like they were kids again, rolling around try to pin the other person down, both giggling, everything was fun and sweet.

Until Jiho ended up being the one on top, pinning Namjoon’s hands to his sides and using his weight to hold him down, making sure that Namjoon couldn’t move at all. He was about to declare his victory over Namjoon in a happy tone like they used to. But what he was met with was very different, what he was met with… was the look of somebody in fear, Namjoon’s eyes were big and round, with tears ready to spill… and he wasn’t sad, he was scared. Scared of Jiho.

Oh god, how could he have fucked this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few notes to end this on,
> 
> I am writing a Jungkook x Yugyeom story in this verse, that takes place before either presents, that covers their fallout and other stuff!
> 
> We are soon done with Block B.... it's making me very sad

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat or just see what stupid stuff I got myself stuck in this time here:  
> [My writing twitter](https://twitter.com/PrussiaSheiala)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Beta's Path](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12310338) by [korydwen (melusinezar)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melusinezar/pseuds/korydwen)




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